SLASH: The Field Study Of An Unknown World

by Lady Geuna

The HP characters must uncover the philosophy, truth, and nature of SLASH by analyzing a living, REAL world of fanfiction! Can it really happen? Can they take the truth? And will they survive a close encounter or the SLASH kind? (EVERY Possible couple!)

2. A Thickening Plot??? Wow, There IS A Plo...

SLASH: The Field Study Of An Unknown World

By. Lady Geuna

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Disclaimer: Harry Potter does not belong to me, it never has, and never will. He and everything else in the HP world belong to J.K. Rowling. So neither will any of the hot... er, never mind...

"The Enigmatic Omniscient Binder of Infinite Mysterious Knowledge" Ó is MINE, for which I can and will sue (sorry). I also will are other miscellanies items I may have, such as the "SM Spiral Notebook" Ó . I know a lot of you don't really care, but I've had these ideas for years, and I hold them very dear, believe it or not.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

This isn't anti-SLASH NOR pro-SLASH. I say it again.

Geuna~

Read on! Sorry it's so long, I know a lot of people don't like having to read so much in one sit...

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

A Thickening Plot??? Wow, There IS A Plot!?!?

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

FF.net World:

One second Harry cast the spell, screaming out, "Donsubia!," and the next second his feet hit what seemed like solid ground. He didn't stumble, he didn't need to because he wasn't off balance for some reason.

But Harry did feel a little dizzy, his stomach practically in his throat.

"Oooh," he moaned, shaking his head slowly. "I never want to go through that again. Stupid stomaching turning spells. Why can't any of them be quiet and gentle (and not loud and rough). It makes you wonder what wizards were thinking of when they made them, the darn buggers..." Taking a deep breath, Harry began looking around.

White. Everything was white. If this was a room, he couldn't see any edges, and if there was a ground he couldn't see that either. Not even his own shadow. And thought it was so incredibly white, it didn't blind him or seem bright in any way. Then, out of the blue, be began to see words. They just appeared, floating in the air, as if they were totally 3-D. Then more. And more. All in different places, fonts, and sizes. They came together to form sentences. He thought he saw what looked like lines of numbers as they moved around him in streams. Lights of all colors flashed around him. Bursts of light darting past in every direction.

This was the internet? (1a)

Harry noticed something out of the corner of his eye. Looking, he gave himself the chance to duck as s stream of flying numbers came at him. He barely got out of the way in time as they went barreling past at top speed. Maybe they were just numbers and were supposed to be harmless, but they looked pretty solid! But that wasn't important. He had a job to do!!

'Find "Books" find "Books"...!' (1b)

He soon spotted the "link" close by, along with some others. The words where all set into two horizontal rows. "Books" floated there between "Anime" and "Cartoons". And unlike many of the other of vocabulary zooming about, it remained stationary. Walking over to it, be found that the word floated up to about his chest level. Following the instructions he'd been given, he held out his wand, did a quick motion with it, and tapped in the word twice.

After a moment, it seemed like nothing was happening. Actually, for that moment, everything around him either slowed down or came to a complete stop. Did he break it!?

But then, everything started into motion again, and to his surprise, what looked like door appeared. It was white like everything else, and barely noticeable. But it had a small black door handle.

"This wasn't in the instruction descriptions... Oh well. Let's see......" Harry reached out and touched the handle tentatively. The moment he did, he felt like someone had given him a hard push from behind, and all at once the surroundings changed again. There were words, just like before, set into long rows that floated up at his chest level. But in this case, there were at least a hundred words in all...

"Ah , Merlin's beard..."

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The Real World:

Draco lazily watched the computer screen. After a little bit, another, longer list of words came up, all under the label of "Books". Nothing special, really. Actually, this was terribly boring. "Nothing much is happening, you know. It's just a list of titles..."

Ron watched with excitement and anticipation the whole time. "This is amazing!"

"I wish I were so easily amused as you, Weasley."

"Stuff your hole."

"Make me."

"Fruitcake."

"WHAT!?"

"BOYS!!!"

Ron. "Sorry Professor Lupin..."

Finally, the title "Harry Potter" was highlighted for a second, and this seemed to bring up a page full of story titles.

"There it is," Ron yelled, pointing at the screen. "He just has to go into a story, right!? Tap, tap twice and he's there!?"

"Who knows," Sirius sighed. "I still don't get what's going to happen... Does he even know where to go next...?"

Lupin nodded. "All these titles." He gestured toward the screen and the list in his hand. "How will he know if one of them in on this list? Geuna picked these out specifically right?"

"I doubt she's read all of them. I'll bet she's sending us into things that even she doesn't know of." Buuut! He could handle it. He survived Azkaban, he could survive whatever a silly "fanfic" had in store. (A/N: (snicker) Oh, how WRONG that is.)

Draco grinned. "What are the chances of Potter walking in on something horrible and highly life threatening?" He found this idea very appealing.

Sirius, "(*SNARL*)!!!"

Draco, "(*CRING*)!"

Ron snapped his fingers suddenly, making everyone jump in surprise (except for Snape, who's naturally very stoic unless he's pissed off). "The mouse! That's it!"

They all starred at him blankly.

"I think Weasley's finally snapped, Professor," Draco muttered to Snape.

Snape nodded shortly, regarding the matter as if he expect Ron to "crack". "That's what it would seem, Mr. Malfoy..."

Sirius narrowed his eyes, trying to understand Ron's very enigmatic exclamation. "Mouse? You don't mean WORMTAIL do you?" He verbally growled, his eyes seemed to glow. Scaaaarcy...

"No, no, no," Ron insisted. "A computer mouse."

"Mice that live in computers," Lupin asked quietly, looking confused. "In that case, perhaps you should as Hermione if you can borrow Crookshanks for a bit...?

Ron shook his head, exasperated. "It's something that has to do with a computer! My Dad had one once... Hang on." Ron began looking around at the sides of the computer before he grabbed something up. It was small, white, with a wire coming out of it (basically, your everyday computer mouse). "This is it!"

Sirius snorted. "It doesn't look like an "mouse" I've ever seen. No lets, or head. It sort of has a tail..."

"That's because it isn't a mouse, literally! It's just it's name. All because something is called a "Firebolt" doesn't mean it's a real "bolt of fire", right?"

".... Sure..."

Lupin looked at the mouse dangling from Ron's fingers, pocking at it experimentally. "What is it supposed to do?"

Ron paused, starring blankly ahead. "..... You now, I'm not too sure on that." Ron turned toward to computer and began shaking the thing. "Come on, do something. Come on!" Nothing happen (DUH!). He then tried talking into it like he remembered Harry telling him with "electronic-bugs" or whatever. "Turn to a story NOW! ... Ah, come on you basted thing!" Ron started bashing it on the desk.

"I don't think that's going to help, Ron."

"What we need," Sirius said, "is a little help." He looked at the ceiling (though feeling a bit stupid) and started talking to it. "Um, Geuna...? Are you there? Author lady?" Silence. "Where's her "omnipresent" voice when we need it, huh!? We need some HELP you stupid girl!!!"

Suddenly, a very large book appeared right above Sirius's head. Sensing the object, he looked up just as it fell. He had not time to dodge, so..

It whacked him square in the face and sent him crashing to the floor. Draco burst out laughing. Snape snicker quietly while Lupin and Ron hurried to help their friend.

"Sirius," Lupin cried, lifting the ridiculously heavy book off Sirius, falling back himself because of the weight. "God, what is this thing!? It must weigh ten pounds!"

"Anyone get the number on that hippogriffin...?" His eyes widened when he saw Ron, who was trying to help him. "I swear, Harry, watch where you're going with that Firebolt, cost me an arm and a leg, it did..." He noted Ron's hair. "You dyed your hair! How could you, boy, you looked like a punk with that red...!"

"I'm not Harry!" Ron helped Sirius to sit up, watching the disheveled (even more so than usual) man as he tried to see straight. "You okay, Mr. Black? You don't look to good. Not to mention Harry and I don't look anything alike."

The man moaned, "My head..."

Lupin's eyes widen as he looked at the books cover and thus at the gold inscription. "Hey, look at this..." He read off the books title, "'The Enigmatic Omniscient Binder of Infinite Mysterious Knowledge Ó '...?" Lupin smiled. "I think Geuna just gave up our help."

Sirius was gaining his wits again. "Fine way of showing it, the damn vixen." A five pointed star glittery wand (a.k.a. Mr. Whacky Ó ) appeared in midair and flogged Sirius five times (one flog for each letter in the word "vixen"). After having pummeled Sirius into the floor, it vanished.

Snape was barely suppressing his inner delight in watching this, being the sadistic, cool, dark and mysterious Potions Professor he was. (2a) But be kept his mouth shut, if only to minimize the chances of Sirius turning into an Animagus and biting him. Again..

"It doesn't look much like a "binder" to me," Ron muttered, ignoring Sirius and the long stream of vicious verbal obscenities that were simply radiating from him. "It looks like a spell book I saw Hermione reading once..."

Lupin opened the "binder" and read off the first sentence. "'A book for everything you would ever need or want to know about the mysteries of the universe, minus a few things that haven't been figured out yet. If this doesn't make sense to you HP types, just think of it as a sort of "Marauders Map" for the mischievous writer...!'"

"Hm, well that's convenient." Lupin smiled and read on.

"'If you happened to be a fairly corrupt and possibly even perverse person who's trying to misuse this sacred relic, then you will face the wrath of its author, Geuna, also known as demi-goddess or ruler of all (to some... )'"

"My, she is rather vicious..."

"'If you are reading this and don't plan on doing anything very evil, but have not received prior permission or acknowledgment, then you shall face the penalty of being darned to heck, darned to the deepest and most relatively unpleasant levels of heck for an undetermined period of time'..."

Lupin automatically dropped the book in a heap, taking a step back. The book hit the floor with a loud /thud/ and didn't even bounce once. "Oh my..."

Snape smiled slightly. "Quiet convenient. The only way a reader can find out about that little downside is by read halfway through the intro. When it's too late to turn back."

"Very convenient," Lupin said nervously, looking very paranoid as he fiddled with his hands nervously and eyed the ceiling. "I don't really fancy being "darned to heck", thank you."

Sirius just continued to curse vehemently.

Draco was really laughing now. Until a paper airplane came out of nowhere and bumped into the side of his head. It wasn't much, it didn't hurt in the slightest and he barely even felt it in the first place, but....*sigh* ... it doesn't take much to piss off a Malfoy, does it?

"Hey!" Draco grabbed at the paper, glaring at the ceiling in accusation. "What was that for!? You really don't have any sense of decency, do you, Gina!?" Another paper slapped him in the forehead, sending him to the floor to join Sirius.

Snape closed his eyes for a moment, getting control of the fact that this was all very irritating, and helped his favorite student to his feet. He grabbed up the paper, which seemed to be wrapped around a rock (oops?). Removing the paper, he read, ""Read the first note, you..." Snape cleared his throat and didn't read what the letter actually said, and instead finished with, "... jerk. And it's Geuna(G-u-na)"..."

Grumbling, Draco unfolded the paper airplane. ""This is a permission slip, giving you permission (obviously) to use the "EOBOIMK (Enigmatic. Omniscient. blah, blah, blah~). And don't worry Lupin sweetie... uuurgh...." Draco made a face at what he'd just read, as if he'd tasted something really foul. "... you will not be darned to heck. Well, maybe Sirius will, but just tell him to shut-up before he bites off more than he can chew. Literally. P.S. Snape is not a chew toy, just so Sirius knows for future reference. P.S.S. And look in the GLOSSARY. Signed, Lady Geuna."" Draco snorted. "Some "lady"... What a she-devil..." At that moment, something appeared over Draco's head, (this time the "something" being a huge sack of Bertie Bott's Every Flavor Beans with the words "MALFOY IS A JACK ASS" written in place of the usual logo, and crushed him. (2b)

Snape didn't feel like helping him out of that one... At least not without a ward or some sort of fork lift.

Following Geuna's instructions, Lupin open to the glossary section and found "computer mice", ("Wow, it really does tell what you need to know...") and turned to the said page of 1043. There, they found instructions for how to use the computer mouse.

Ron, as told, placed the mouse down in the mouse-pad and moved it around a little bit. To his absolute amazement, the little arrow on the screen moved. "I've got it!! Now we can open a story!" He saw a title he recognized from the list, "Chasing of Hearts", and double clicked without a second thought. "There!"

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

FF.net World:

Harry had been trying to figure out where to go when suddenly he felt like he was being thrown forward. He cried out as he landed on his stomach in the middle of a stone hallway. It change in surroundings was sudden and unexpected, leaving him slightly stunned by the change in sight, sound, and smell.

Coughing, he sat up, looking around an a dazed sort of way. The hall was familiar, the stone... Could it be?

"Hogwarts...?" That's right, somehow he was in Hogwarts... But how? Harry got to his feet and tried to figure out how he got there. He hadn't chosen a story... so what story was this?

"Potter!"

Harry spun around to face the owner of the all too familiar voice. He gasped, his eyes narrowing. "Oh great, you!"

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Real World:

"Maybe that wasn't a good idea, Ron..."

Ron looked at Lupin, looking confused. "Why? He had to go into a story, right?"

"But "Chasing of Hearts"? Maybe you should've read what it's about first."

"Oh... Maybe you can look it up in the book!?"

"I really don't think this book would have... oh, wait, it does..." Lupin opened the book to page 675, where there was the list of story titles and summaries in alphabetical order. He read, "Chasing of Hearts". "After a startling realization, Harry finds out some things that he never knew about himself, his friends, and even his worst enemies. Why is Draco acting so odd? d/h, l/s, Slash...."

Sirius, frowned. "What do D, H, L and S mean...?" Since they didn't have an wands and could use any magic, Sirius had to rely on an icepack to sooth his aching noggin. But he was discovering exactly why muggle methods of doing things were very tedious and unreliable.

""D" must be Draco," Lupin said. "I can't think of anyone else with a first or last name starting with "D"..."

"Dean," Ron spoke up.

"Ah, yes, thank you, Ron. And "H" is either Hermione or... Harry." Sirius made a choking noise. ""L" can either be Lupin (me) or Lucius, and "S" can be Seamus, Sirius or Snape...." When he thought about it, he didn't like any of those pairings...

Snape didn't seem to like that idea, either.

Ron gasped. "Wait, there's something happening to the screen!" He was right. All the words started to get fuzzy, and then disappeared all together. Then it began writing itself again... "It's starting over!"

"It must be because Harry's in there now," Lupin reasoned. "I mean, he might be changing the course of the story itself!"

Eagerly, everyone (including a seemingly indifferent Snape and a very achy and half conscious Draco) crowded close to the screen as the story began to unfold on it's own...

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

FF.net World, "Chasing of Hearts", (Harry POV)

"Draco..."

"Well," Draco said, trotted up to him slowly. "What are you doing here Potter?"

Draco's smirk was beginning to unnerve Harry, though he didn't know why. There was something very strange about him... something stranger than usual. "I don't see why I have to tell you, Malfoy." He figured that Draco would try and get him in trouble for sneaking around, though he had no idea what time it was. It could be nighttime for all he knew. But if it was, why didn't he have his invisibly cloak...? "Why don't you just stop bothering me, Malfoy. I'm sure you have better things to do than throwing insults with me." 'Please, please, please just go away...'

Draco looked surprised for a moment, then smiled again. "Aaah, so I see! Trying to egg me? Calling me Malfoy again?" He chuckled sexily, shaking his head while keeping his eyes on the other boy the whole time. "Using my own methods again me, are we, Harry?"

"...... Huh?" Ooooh crap... Harry was beginning to figure out what kind of SLASH /this/ was... Well, that was the purpose of this whole experiment. To observe... But certainly not to participate like this!!! ..... Right...?

"I've been looking all over for you," Draco said, breaking Harry's thoughts. "Usually it's easier that this. What's with the notebook, Potter?" He said "Potter" as if he wasn't used to it or just didn't like the name.

Harry had barely realized that he still had his quill and journal. They were in his hands the whole time. "Um, yeah... I, uh, have to do a project! I mean I'm helping Hermione with a project on muggles!"

Draco looked interested, stepping very close to him. "What about? Muggles? With both you and Granger's know-how on that subject, you shouldn't take long. But why, pray tell, would you be wondering around the dungeons of Hogwarts in order to do that sort of project? I doubt you'll find many muggles around here..." He was getting even closer... (3a)

'He's doing that on purpose!' Harry backed away, but Draco suddenly jumped at him, wrapping his arms around Harry's neck. He never felt more horror in his life than at that moment. "WHAT ARE YOU DOING!?" Harry could feel his face burning.

"Talk, talk, talk," Draco drawled. "To much talk, Potter. More snogging."

Harry barely kept himself from screaming and did one last ditch effort to struggle from Draco's grasp. This only succeeded in sending them both crashing to the floor (Draco on top) (3b). All this surprised Draco enough to allow Harry time to escape. The poor boy scrambled away until he hit the wall, never taking his eyes off Draco the whole time, as if he'd try grabbing at him again.

"Stop playing games," Draco insisted, standing to brushing himself off and straightening his hair. "Come ON, love! Half the school's in Hogemeade! Everyone else is outside! And since we're stuck here, let's use the time wisely."

Harry didn't miss the hinting undertone of his words. "Mal-D-Draco, I'm just not feeling up to it right now..."

Draco hadn't seemed to hear him. He was pondering, tapping his chinning thoughtfully. "Wait... This is a game, isn't it? Okay!" He bent forward so that he was all fours, smiling wickedly. He started to move toward Harry with the grace of a cat. (3c) "Oooh, you look like a mouse. A little, cute, cuddly mouse. Mmmh, meowr, you look really sexy when your nervous... When you're scared... Are you scared, Potter?"

Harry nodded wildly, feeling like there was no blood left in his face. I tried saying "yes, now go away" but it came out as an odd croaking sound.

His blond predator grinned. "Then let me help you... relax!" He tried grabbing for Harry again, but the other boy rolled out of the way, got to his feet, and made a dead sprint down the hallway.

Draco, undaunted, just laughed wickedly and ran after him in hot pursuit.

Harry, was in deep trouble...

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Real World:

"HARRY!!!"

"Sirius, leave it alone!" Lupin was trying to not avail to prevent Sirius from smashing the machine. Lupin would've been able to do it alone without the help of Ron, who was preventing Sirius right arm from punching at the computer. "Harry's in there, but breaking it won't help! It might hurt him, Sirius! Are you listening!?"

Sirius seemed to give up, slumping forward into his knees. Ron and Lupin watching him carefully. "What kind of godfather am I to send my godson into such a horrible and vile place!?"

Draco was looked very uneasy as he read what was going on. "I would never... never! No way..."

Snape sneered. "If the boy can't bring himself to cast the reversal spell, then it's his problem. He knows how."

"That's right!" Sirius brightened. "Harry can just come back! Simple as that."

"We hope," Lupin said softly as the story continued to write itself.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

FF.net World, "Chasing of Hearts", (Harry POV)

Harry found a hiding spot behind the base of a suit of armor. It was fairly dark where he was, making him guess that he certainly was somewhere in Slytherin territory, as Draco had said. Argh, that would explain the cold, the dark, the Draco...

Sighing, Harry finally got to opening his journal and began to write (4). 'Draco/Harry SLASH. Reasons.... can't think of any yet... Thank God...' But Geuna wouldn't have it that way, he had to think of something...

Harry thought for a moment, recalling Draco when he was crawling up to him on all fours. He blushed and began to write.

'He's somewhat attractive in a very... girlish sort of way....(5) Yes, he sort of does look like a girl in many ways.' But other than that, what was there. Harry realized with dread that he would have to actually /talk/ to Draco... or he could just go back to the real world...?

Just as this thought came to mind, he heard someone yell out "Expelliarmus!" just as Harry reached for his wand. His jaw dropped in horror and he scrambled to his feet, glaring at the grinning blonde who stood a few feet from the armor, twirling Harry's wand in his fingers long, pale fingers. "Looking for this?"

"Give me the wand... Draco." Harry stepped out from his hiding place, regarding the Slytherin nervously. "Give it here, now!"

"Tut, tut, tut! You'll have to come get it!" Draco snickered and pocketed Harry's wand somewhere in the depths of his robes. "If you can catch me--OOF!!!" In a second, Harry had jumped forward and tackled Draco to the floor. Draco's wand fell from his grasp and Harry began throttling him. "What the-!? What's wrong with you!! ERK!!!" He paled as his air supply was suddenly cut off.

"Gi' me my bloody wand you pervert!!!" (6) Like HELL he would go in after it! "Give me it now and I won't hex you later!"

Draco managed to pry Harry hands from his neck and started to fight back. "NO WAY!!!"

"I'll kick your arse if I have to!"

"Try me!!!"

"I WILL!!!"

"PANSY!!!"

"GIT!!!"

"COWARD!!!"

"PRETTY BOY!!!!"

"Why, thank you!" *wink*

"AAAAAAAAAAARGH!!!!!"

Thus, began the biggest Harry/Draco bitch fight of our lifetime. (7)

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Real World:

"Oh my," Lupin muttered, wide eyed.

"Wa hooo," Ron cheered, "beat that Malfoy into the ground, Harry!"

"I didn't know Harry was capable of such... violence."

"He got that from Lily for sure," Sirius snickered lightly. "She never could tolerate self centered brats like that."

Snape. "Then why on earth did she marry James?"

"Rrrrr...."

Draco seethed. "That stupid... He can't do that!!"

Sirius gave Draco a look. "Shut your hole, boy. Of course he can do that! What, he's supposed to /let/ you molest him!?"

At this, Draco seemed to forget how to breath and turned bright red.

"This is ever so interesting," Snape said mockingly, "but the "experiment" going nowhere. If it's taking this long to get a little information out of one person, that we'll be here forever."

(Geuna: You have a point...)

Sirius scowled. "AH HA!! So the ominous voice is back, huh? Plan to drop another book on my head? I've seen people in Azkaban with more a long temper than you!"

(Geuna: Don't tempt me, and that's likely. I don't like to be insulted by my own or any other fictional creations. But Snape is right, this may take I while... Longer than I've got, I think.)

"Yes," Draco cheered. "That means we can go! We--"

(Geuna: No, no, noooo silly boy. I don't have time to go one experiment at a time! So, I'm just going to send in new means of getting you on the internet! I just have to write a few things in my SM spiral notebook Ó ... ) There was a loud popping sound, and something rectangular and black landed in the middle of the floor. (Think of it as a /mini/-computer!)

Ron picked it up, opening the top. A screen flashed on to reveal FF.net once again. "This is a toplap, right?"

(Geuna: "Laptop".)

"Ah."

Draco moaned. "Oh no..."

(Ron: Don't worry, honey, you're not next! I think it's time for one of the adults to go!)

Lupin and Snape backed up again, eyeing the ceiling cautiously. Sirius was to busy reading "Chasing of Hearts". "HAHAAA!!! That little monster's finally calmed down! Little brat! Show 'im where 'is place is, Harry! That's my boy! James would be proud!"

Lupin slapped his forehead. "Sirius....!"

"Oh... Sorry. What is it?"

"I think Black should go," Snape said loudly to the ceiling. "He was rude to you before, it's only proper!"

(Geuna: You are right...)

Sirius growled at Snape, baring his teeth menacingly. "HEY!!! You slimy--"

(Geuna: BUT!!! I did promise that Draco and SNAPE would be next. Sooo, since I'm doing /adults/ now.)

Snape cursed.

Sirius snickered.

(Geuna: So I'll send in /both/ of you!)

Both Sirius and Snape gawked. "WHAT!?!?"

"But you can't send in two at once," Snape screamed, you said it yourself!!"

"I'm not going anywhere with HIM," Sirius eyed the other man with disgust.

"Likewise, I'm sure, Black!"

(Geuna: Just get on with it, okay? Didn't Dumbledore make you two call a truce? come on, be a little help?)

Sirius and Snape, "NO!!!"

(Geuna: FINE!! I'm the author, and I can do it the quick and dirty way, here! I think the story "The darker side of true..." will suit you just fine!)

There was again, a loud popping sound, and suddenly both Snape and Sirius were gone. Ron, Lupin and Draco stood alone in the room in complete shock.

(Geuna: And as for YOU Draco, I also said you had to go next. So you're going straight to that story... er. whatever it's called, with Harry. Help 'im out a bit, will you?)

Draco tried to protest before there was again a popping sound, and Draco was gone.

"I don't know why you didn't do that in the first place," Lupin said indifferently. "It's just more convenient than the other way."

(Geuna: Well, I'm lazy and the readers want some action. And I need to stay in "character" as a HP author, so I a wand! Twelve inches, oak, phoenix core! If I stay in character, then the readers will be even happier when I write better stuff! (evil grin) And considering the story I just sent our dear Severus and Sirius into, they will be very happy! (maniacal laughter))

Ron and Lupin looked at each other, worried.

"I don't like this," Ron whispered. "This means we have to go next..."

"Yes," Lupin agreed. "It seems we're going down in pairs from here on..."

(Geuna: Ey, speaking of being the only ones left, you two look really lonely. Let's get some others in here!)

Again, a VERY loud popping sound. Suddenly, stand in the room where Fred, George, and.... TOM RIDDLE AND JAMES POTTER!?!? ......

In the commotion that was to come, they hadn't noticed the change of event in either Harry and Draco's story, nor Snape and Sirius's...

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

FF.net World, "Chasing of Hearts" (Harry POV):

Harry sighed, rubbing his aching back for a moment. "Damn, you really got me there, Malfoy."

"You think I give a damn?" Draco tenderly touched a scrap on his left elbow. "I may run up to Madam Pomfrey for that..."

"It's just a scrap! Don't get all worked up!"

"Just ask the next question!"

Somewhere during their little melee, Harry had somehow gotten the point across that he wasn't really his Harry. How he managed it, he didn't know, but Draco had been totally disgusted that he'd been messing around his a "fake" Harry (if you can even all it "messing around"). At first, the excuse had been that he'd taken some Polyjuice Potion, than some other rather... lame excuses. Finally, Draco was convinced that he was Harry from a different time (from the past), before he and Draco where "together".... This was far to complicated for his liking... Maybe the reason as to why it wasn't to difficult to convince Draco was /because/ this was a fanfiction, and not the real thing?

Now, he was squeezing information out of Draco, after convincing him that the only way he will ever come to like the Draco of the past was to know why he loves him in the future.

It was crazy enough to work... Of course, this is fanfiction, so...

They sat in the same hallway they had their fight in minutes before, still soar and aching from a wandless duel.

"Okay... After some... unpleasantness with your father...." He saw Draco grimace (Lucius had been rather violent toward Draco at one point...), and quickly moved on. "... I, me, the other me to be, helped you?"

"Obviously," Draco snapped, looking at the ground. "'Golden Boy's' the only person nice enough to help, right? Anyone else would laugh, and other Slytherins would see me as weak."

Harry noted that Draco said "Golden Boy" without any sort of malice. He jotted this down quickly in his journal along with some other notes he'd already made. In this case, a particularly emotionally unsettling event brought the two boys together. In this case, while Draco suffered at home with his own parents, Harry was going through the same sort of thing with the Dursleys (A/N: Geuna: *SNARLS* Dursleys... hate...). This "SLASH Harry" had pity for the boy, and helped out rather an hurting him. After that... things started developing... A mutual attraction... Draco WAS attractive... Harry went back to his previous note about that, underlining the word "girlish" five times over.

This was very unsettling...

Harry glanced up at Draco from behind the journal. Draco was eyeing him again, a light smirk on his lips. Harry rolled his eyes and wrote, "But he's a jerk nevertheless. To high of an opinion of himself. And he definitely didn't know when to quite!!!"

"You look to much like him," Draco murmured, starring. Then he chuckled, his eyes hinted with mirth. "Well, considering you are him, that was a silly thing to say."

Harry blushed, practically trying to hide behind his journal. "Look, even laying your eyes on me right now would be considered cheating on him--me!! So I'm taking that into consideration!!" He moved his quill, as if threatening to write something negative in his journal.

"Fine, fine!"

"...."

".... You know, you don't look any younger than my Harry..." There was doubt and suspicion in his voice.

'Uh oh....' "No, really! I mean, we've only been going out.... um...."

"Eight months?"

"RIGHT!" Harry was beginning to feel sick with embarrassment and anxiety. Man, he wanted to get out of there... "Is there anything else I should know, I really need to be going..."

Draco smirked. "Well, obviously you're, er, I mean my Harry's really sweetie... Very sexy. Dark hair... green eyes..." Draco got a far off look.

Harry tried not to make a gagging noise.

"A REALLY great kisser, and OMG he's...."

"OKAY!! Okay! I get it, yeah, that's enough of that! I mean, what is there emotionally."

Draco gaze him a rather cold look. "Are you saying I'm just with him for the kicks?"

'Kicks...?' He didn't want to know what exactly that was supposed mean... "No, I mean.... What about his personality. What do you feel when your around him." He really didn't want to know, but it was for the sack of the experiment, the research, and getting the heck out of there as fast as he possibly could. Thinking of this other, SLASH Harry as if he were a totally different person made it easier for Harry (the non-SLASH one) to work with.

The Slytherin smiled again, but not in that creepy way. It was a soft smile. (8) "I love being around him. I love his laugh... He's real. He knows me like I never thought anyone could or would ever want to. Harry's... not just some person with a false facade. Trying to be around be because I'm rich, or because I'm a Malfoy. I just wanted to help. After a while... He asked for my friendship, and I said yes. Ever since..." He didn't continue, but just smiled, his cheeks blushing slightly.

Harry was beyond nervous. But sure, he understood the points.

If there were a situation to make Draco totally physically and emotionally defenseless, Harry wouldn't leave him high and dry (well, depending on the whole situation, anyway). If he found out what happen (and in this case it seems he did), he would've tried to help, ache nemesis or not. Draco couldn't fight him off, lets him help, and eventually they become friends... And Harry (FF.net Harry, not Harry, Harry) obviously is the first person to be a real, serious friend, and not just another Slytherin type groupie with no sense of loyalty nor real understanding....

Brain...

Overload...

Harry regarded the other boy in a new light. Maybe, if Draco were nice to him instead of being a real bastard, they could be friends. Maybe not more than that... But who knows. Is there something deeper to it? Maybe SLASH can sense. Heehee, not in THIS case of course. Harry refused to believe that! But maybe in others?

Only time would tell, and for a moment, Harry wondered what the real Draco (the slimly little...) was doing right then to make his friends' lives living Hells.

He didn't realize that the real, NONE SLASH Draco was the one experiencing a living Hell...

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

FF.net World, "Chasing of Hearts", (Draco POV)

Draco landed on his back, HARD.

Considerable pain. Dizziness. Life sucked...

"Ow," he groaned, grabbing his head with both hands. "Ow... Dammit..."

"Draco...?"

Draco's eyes snapped open. He was laying on his back, on a table... In the Great Hall. He could tell by the cloudy sky filled ceiling. There were a number of faces starring down at him. He noticed many people scattered about the tables, studying or talking. Or at least they had been. Now their attention was directed at the boy who'd suddenly appeared out of nowhere. But one face stood out. The face closest to his.

Draco hissed. "Potter!"

Harry looked nervously down at him. "Draco, are you okay? How did you get here?"

Draco rolled out of the way when Harry reached at him. He got upright and on his feet quickly on one fluid motion. He glared down at his most hated enemy. "Potter. And the Mudblood, I see. Where's the Weasel?"

Hermione gasped, looking hurt and shocked.

Harry narrowed his eyes at Draco, his worried expression faltering somewhat. "I though you promised never to call her that again?! And Ron...! What's the matter with you, Draco?!?"

"Draco"...? No "Malfoy"?

So, he was in a "fanfiction", huh?! SO! Whatever he did here wasn't real, he would have nothing to regret! Draco felt something in the pocket of his robs, tucked in there along with his journal and quill. He checked and found that he once again had a wand. He grinned, feeling almost giddy. "How wrong you are, Potter!"

"Potter..." Harry looked hurt, getting up from his seat backing away from the table slowly. "Why are you... Draco, do you want to breakup or something...?" His voice was so desperate. So small.

Draco ignored it.

"I've been waiting to do this for a long time, Potter!!!"

This other Harry seemed to figure out what was happening, fumbling quickly for his own wand. "Draco, don't do something you'll regret!"

"Oh, I'm NOT going to regret this!!!" He opened his mouth to cast the first spell...

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

FF.net World, "Chasing of Hearts", (Harry POV):

Harry had departed ways with "SLASH Draco". Draco headed back to the Slytherin dormitory while Harry had decided to find his way out of there. He wondered is anything in the Hogwarts was different from the real one...

After moving in a general upward direction, he found his way out of the dungeons and had reached a moving staircase. Harry was going to make his way toward the Gryffindor common room when he heard the sound of running footsteps. In moments, Hermione had appeared, rounding a corner as fast as she could. She stopped a moment, catching her breath at the base of the staircase just in front of him.

Harry smiled, waving. "Hermione!"

Hermione looked up suddenly, her jaw dropping. "Harry!? What...? HOW!?" Confused, Harry didn't respond as his friend rushed up the stair and began shaking his shoulders wildly. "But you! You can't be...you were just there. Fighting with Draco! How did you get here?" She eyes him suspiciously. "You're not using a Time-Turner, are you?"

"Stop that!" Harry managed to pry Hermione off, looking her straight in the eye. He was shocked as too how much like the real Hermione this girl was... And fanfiction or not, he wanted to help out with whatever the problem was. "Now what's going on?"

Hermione looked suddenly looked very desperate. "I need to find Professor Snape! Professor McGonagall or one of the other Professors would be able to break them up, but they're all in Hogsmeade, but Professor Snape's the Slytherin Head Master, he can break them up!!!" She gasped for breath after saying that LONG sentence.

This is confusing. "WHO?"

"YOU and Draco! You are, or at least you were, in a duel. You were blowing the Great Hall apart. Everyone's too afraid to get in the way. Harry, Draco's gone mad! He was trying to kill you! I need to find Professor Snape..."

But Harry wasn't listening to her anymore. All he could hear was the faint sound of explosions from somewhere deep within Hogwarts, possibly coming from the Great Hall. And that's where he was headed at that moment.

'Wait... Harry? That mean's there's another Harry here! And Draco just went to his dormitory, so THIS Draco must be...'

"Oh NO!!!"

He still didn't pay attention to Hermione as he broke into a dead run down the stairs, following the sound of the Wizarding Duel taking place in the Great Hall.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

A Sub-world Between Reality As We Know It, The FF.net World, and The Fictional Story World:

Geuna types rapidly at her computer, into which she transferred the power of the SM Spiral Notebook (which can make anything happen when in a "fictional" world). It's just so darn hard to write everything in a notebook. Magical or not, you still had to write by /hand/. Oi.

The potential hand cramps....

Presently, she's going through a list of potential SLASH couples to analyze. She's printed of a LONG list of all possible name combinations, made possible thanks to Microsoft Excel!

"Harry/Draco... check. Ron/Harry.... (shivers) NOPE... No love-hate relationship there... cross OUT! Hmmm."

At the moment, she was figuring that most SLASH couple happen /because/ of a love-hate situation. Harry/Draco is the /perfect/ example, though she wasn't necessarily saying that she /liked/ the couple itself. ~,~

Though, she did expect more than one of the HP characters to have an epiphany or two by the end of the fic...

"Draco/Ron..... er, maybe.... *gag me* Check. Sirius/Lupin.... mmmmh, it's pretty common. Nobody's really knows about those two, sooo... check. Sirius/Snape.... (pales, gags)."

Yes, some love-hate relationships would be just WAY too ridiculous and impossible. A Sirius/Snape is a good example of this. But it /would/ be good for a laugh.

"Check! Heehee, le' me see. Harry/Snape...."

(laugh's hysterically at the impossible possibility (that was a oxymoron, people, not bad grammar))

"A possible /thirty/ year age difference. Old guy. Young guy. That would NOT work!! .... But it will be good for a laugh if I find the right fic... (grins evilly, but turns green when she really think about it) I don't like it too much, but... check! Next is..."

"Fred/George...."

"......"

"AAAAAAAAAAAAAARGH!!!! BURN IT!!! BURN IT!!! (9)"

While the hideous thought of those two SLASHed floated around in her head, Geuna didn't notice a small bird fly through the door with a letter. This snapped Geuna back into "reality" as she starred at the blue, violet and white parakeet... Violet, her pet parakeet from home in the REAL, Real World to be exact. Actually, she HATED the bird.

But it was here, delivering a letter to her in a very Hedwig-like, Owl Post fashion... Violet was being rather nice then, but...

WHACK!

Violet had conveniently flown so that the letter smacked Geuna in the face. "HEY!!! You stupid bird!!" Violet flew right back through the door, making mocking little parakeet sounds. "Owl, er, "Parakeet Post"... Argh. This is what I get for writing a Harry Potter fic..." (10) She fingered her wand. "Rrrrrr, you wait until I figure out how to use this stupid thing, they you'll be sorry, bird!!!"

She looks down, and Geuna discovers the letter Violet had delivered was red. Confused, she picked it up. "Red? Wha...?" She ripped open the seal, and...

"/YOU LITTLE FREAK, CAN'T YOU GET ANY OF THE GRAMMAR RIGHT!!!?? WHAT GAVE YOU THIS DUMB ASS IDEA IN THE FIRST PLACE!!!? BY GOD WOMAN YOU'RE MAD!!! TOTALLY MAD!!! HOW CAN YOU EVEN BE THINKING OF SNAPE/HARRY!!? IT'S SICK, IT'S VILE, IT'S CREEPY!!! AND SIRIUS/SNAPE!!!! AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!!!!! DIE, DIE, DIIIIIE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! WHEN I FIND YOU I'M GOING TO GET YOU!!!/"

~ ANYMONOMIS

Then all was totally silent again... The red envelope combusted into flames and burnt, it's message delivered.

"Ooooh, that's why it's reeeed! Duh!"

Geuna, who had been flung back from the force of the Howler, lay on the floor. Her chair had been knocked back, her legs sticking up in the air. She soon found herself smiling.

"WOW!!! I really got a HOWLER! My ears are popping!" But suddenly she sobered, frowning.

Geuna wasn't angry, everyone had their own opinions, but it wasn't that. She knew exactly who the Howler was from. Unless you exist in the "Story" World, you can't do things like sending Howlers to the authors. Only ONE person had the gall, the nerve, the guts! It could only be....

"Sirius Black... I can recognize you're voice anywhere...!" Geuna narrowed her eyes as she managed to get herself and her chair upright again. Her eyes blazing with hot vengeance, she began typing the third part. "Let's see who holds the creative writing license here, Mr. Black..." (11)

(Insert maniacal laughter... here.)

NEXT TIME!!!

PAIRINGS!?!? You'll just have to wait and see!!! Now that we have a BUNCH of people in there at once, everything can go faster!

SLASH Harry vs. REAL Draco? Heehee... ¬_¬

To be continued...?

I decided to end it there because I'm getting tired, and it's getting too long. But what's happened to Snape and Sirius? Are they in any immediate danger!? And what of Draco? Will Fred, George, James and Tom make good company!?

(1a) "Matrix" moment, anyone?

(1b) If you don't get this, go back to the Intro.

(2a) Yes, Snape is my second favorite character next to Harry. And that's DEFINITYLY /NOT/ IN SLASH SENSE!! E GAH!!!

(2b) I don't like sass...

(3a) AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!

(3b) O__O Errgheeeew.... (BLUSH)

(3c) Heehee, you wonder why the associate the yummy Slytherin with leather and collars all the time.

(4) Just so you know, the quill is magical. That's why it always had ink.

(5) It's SO true!! Admit it!! And it sexy, too! ^__~

(6) WHAT!? You really thought another chance was going to start? Pffh!

(7) Heehee, just use your imagination, people...

(8) If you haven't noticed, this a more heartfelt Harry/Draco SLASH. Nothing really too kinky here... but wait a bit... oi... ~_~'

(9) OMG.... It's just too sick to comprehend.... eeeeeeew.... I feel dirty.

(10) It's true...

(11) Oh HO!!! I do NOT like being sassed! Especially by a fiction character! (12)

(12) No, I'm not insane or delusional, it's called "getting into character" while I'm writing this. My story surprises even me. Who knows what will happen next!