Disclaimer: I don't own DBZ, but I do wish I owned Vegeta. Mmmmmm…
Just a reminder. In the previous fic "Mixed Vegetables" (this will be the sequel) Vegeta pushed Goku and Chi Chi into the Personality Transformer and destroyed the green button that would change them back.
I would like to thank "Someone" who reminded me that Vegeta says "Kakarotto" and not "Goku". I totally forgot about that detail! I will try to fix my fic in a minute… waaaait… Thank-you!
Mixed Vegetables 2
By: Veggie's Girl
*Fsssssssssssst* Steam hissed out of the opening door of the Personality Transformer. And out stepped… Goku and Chi Chi. But everybody knew their personalities were switched, and that they'd be having a hard time until Bulma fixed her machine.
"Why, you insolent little prick!" cried Chi Chi (in the body of Goku, from now on known as itbog) and lunged at Vegeta, thrusting her hand down the front of Goku's, now her own, orange shirt. She stopped in a dead halt and stared at her hand in wonder.
"Where did my frying-pan go?" she asked, quite confused.
"Looking for this?" asked Goku (in the body of Chi Chi, from now on known as itboc), holding up the offensive "kitchen accessory".
"Why thank you dear," she smiled. She went up to Goku (itboc), took the pan from him, and then in the blink of an eye ran up to Vegeta and whacked him over the head so hard he swayed and had to sit down on the ground before he fell over.
"That'll teach you to mess with me!" she yelled at him.
"Alright, alright Chi Chi. Just calm down. I'm sure I'll get this thing fixed up in no time, after all, I've had to make the green button once already. I'm good at this." Bulma wanted to calm her friend down as quickly as possible.
"Heeeeyyy… wait a minute. Why don't me and Goku go into the PT again, and just switch personalities using the red button?" Chi Chi's (itbog) mind had been working ever since she stepped out of the PT, and she had just had a wonderful idea.
"That is a swell idea, but I'm afraid it would be too dangerous. The more times you switch around two people, the larger the chance of something going wrong gets." Bulma had had the same idea when Vegeta and Goku had switched bodies, but had dismissed it as unwise.
"Yeah, but when you fix the green button, that'll be switching around our bodies too! Goku and Vegeta did it, and nothing went wrong," said Chi Chi (itbog), not wanting to believe her bad luck.
"No, it's actually not the same thing. Pushing the green button is undoing the effect of the PT, not switching around personalites." Bulma smiled, as she always liked showing off her intelligence.
"Oh," said a downhearted Chi Chi (itbog). "So what do we do now?"
"You'll just have to spend the most agonizing time of your life waiting for Bulma to fix the machine," sneered Vegeta.
"Oh, shut up, you baka. This is all your fault anyways," chided Bulma.
"Humph," was all Vegeta said and stalked out of the laboratory.
"OK, all of you. Get out of here, I need quiet to fix this thing. Chi Chi," said Bulma, turning to Goku's body. "You and Goku will have to wait here, at our place. I'll be done today, anyways."
~*~*~
"Not again…" moaned Goten. It was bad enough having Vegeta as his father for one night, but now his parents were switched around! "How am I ever gonna spar with my dad? I can't kick… my… mom… uh. This is all so confusing!"
"Hey, don't worry. They'll be back to normal by tonight." Trunks was doing his best to assure his best friend. And it was working. Goten was cheering up more and more by the second. They were sitting outside in the Capsule Corp. backyard, and decided after a while to spar. Suddenly, Goku (itboc) came out of the house.
"Hey, I'll spar with you!" he shouted to the two boys.
"But mom! You don't even approve of sparring!" shouted Goten, very surprised.
"Goten, don't you even remember what we were talking about a sec ago?" enquired Trunks.
"Yeah. You said you wanted to spar," answered Goten.
"Ugh." Trunks slapped his forehead and looked at Goten pityingly. "That is not your mom. It is your dad in your mom's body. REMEMBER???"
"Oh yeeeaaaaah." Said an enlightened Goten. But then he frowned and said: "I don't think we can, dad. Mom's body is too fragile to fight."
"Phooey. I wanted to fight!" pouted Goku (itboc).
"Sorry, Goku. We can do that tonight, once you're back in your own body," explained Trunks.
"Hey! How 'bout some mud wrestling? Prrrrrrow!" exclaimed Goku (itboc). "No rules, no clothes!"
"Eeeeeewwwww!" said Trunks and Goten in unison.
~*~*~
Chi Chi (itbog) was in the kitchen, trying to soothe her rattled nerves by making dinner.
"Stupid SOB. Had to push Goku into the machine, didn't he?" she mumbled to herself. "ARGH! I don't know how Goku can do anything in this body! His fingers are so thick and clumsy. And all these muscles are hindering my movements! I can barely move around. I keep smashing into the table-edge or knocking stuff over with my elbow. This is infuriating!"
As she reached out to pick up a pepper-grinder, one of the many folds of Goku's outfit tipped over a glass and it came crashing to the floor.
"RRRAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRGGGHHHHHHH!" she screamed, in the vilest temper you could imagine. A vein pulsed on her forehead and "her" muscles began bulging. Suddenly, her hair went blond (remember that this is Goku's body we're talking about!) and she turned SSJ. Her entire body shone, and Chi Chi (itbog) was freaked.
"YYYYYYYYYAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH!" she screamed in fright. She began running around the kitchen in circles, devastating everything that was in her path. She ran out of the kitchen and out to the backyard, running through the living room and destroying the TV set and couch in the process.
"What's happening to me? Someone HELP ME! I'm dying!" she screeched.
"Settle down, Chi!", Goku (itboc) ran up to her and caught her by the waist. However Chi Chi's body wasn't all that strong and Chi Chi (itbog) ripped out of his hold.
"EEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHH!" she kept on screaming. "Itburnsitburnsitburns!!!"
"Chi Chi!", yelled Goku (itobc). "You have to calm down! Stop! Once you settle down, you can control the Super Saiya-jin state. Then you can return to normal!"
Chi Chi (itbog) stopped running around and concentrated on catching her breath. "One, two, three…" she counted. The yellowish flames around her began receding, then disappeared altogether.
"Whew!" She let out a sigh of relief.
"Man, that was a close one…", thought Goku, who had shown a lot of calmness and intelligence during the whole incident.
~*~*~
"He he he," chuckled Vegeta. "What a bunch of losers they are," he commented the situation that had taken place only a minute ago. "They all belong in a mental institute, and I'd put them there if I were able to." And he began laughing out loud until he came into the living room.
"A-HA-HA-HA-… Wha-? What the fuck happened to my TV and my couch?!?!?! Who did this?" he roared. "I'm gonna kill the little fucker who ruined my couch and TV!!! RAAARRRGGGHHHH!" He was seething mad, and began stomping around. "Who did this? I'm gonna rip out his guts… It was probably Kakarotto! KAKAROTTO! Where the hell are you?" he yelled.
Goku (itboc) ran up to him from outside. "Yeah?"
"You-… no, I wanted to talk to Kakarotto, not you, you old hag," said Vegeta.
Goku (itboc) gave him a strange look and said: "But it is me. Goku."
"Ooooh. Right. The whole personality mix-up. Yeah. Well, Kakarotto. I wanted to ask you something," he began calmly. "DID YOU DESTROY MY LIVING ROOM?!", he finished, not at all the way he had begun.
"Huh? No," answered Goku (itboc).
"Well then, who in the name of Kami did???"
"I did," informed Chi Chi (itbog). "And I don't regret it. It serves you right for switching us around."
"Ohhh… you are so going to pay for this…" began Vegeta, approaching Chi Chi (itbog). "And I won't have any problems beating you up, because you're in the body of Goku, the rival I have been wanting to defeat since I laid eyes on him. This will be sweeeeet."
He suddenly flew at Chi Chi (itbog) propelling them both into the backyard.
"AIEEEEEEE!" screeched Chi Chi (itbog), who wasn't able to defend herself because she hadn't yet gotten used to her new body. She was however prepared for such an occasion and with awe-inspiring quickness pulled a… you guessed it!… a frying pan from behind her orange shirt. She brought it down on Vegeta's head and it emitted a sound so harsh that even Goku (itboc) cringed. To Vegeta's misfortune, the impact had been in the exact same spot that he had been hit earlier that day (and had a swollen bump) and stars exploded in front of his eyes. He fell to the ground, unable to even catch his balance. He fell face first into the grass, uttered a low moan and lost consciousness.
"What have you done dad? I mean mom?" yelled Goten. "Do you realize what he'll do to you when he wakes up???"
"Well, then. Let's make sure he doesn't get up. Ever again," added Chi Chi (itbog), poising her frying pan over Vegeta's cranium.
"Um, I don't think you should do that," cautioned Goku (itboc) pointing so that only his wife could see to the door of the Capsule Corp. There stood Bulma, and she didn't look none too happy.
"Get. Away. From. My. Husband.", she seethed through clenched teeth.
"A he he he. I w-w-was only joking," said Chi Chi (itbog) sheepishly.
"Goku, could you bring him in and put him on the couch?" asked Bulma.
"There is no couch. That's what this fight was all about," said Chi Chi (itbog) matter-of-factly.
"Huh?" Bulma turned around and to her astonishment, instead of the couch, she saw a pile of material, sponge, boards and springs. "Oh. Well then, you'll have to bring him up to our room."
While Vegeta was being carried up to his room, Trunks and Goten emerged from their hiding place in the bushes, from where they had been watching the fight between the "two" warriors.
"Your mom is very… brave. I'd never get up the courage to hit my dad, let alone touch him…", said Trunks.
"Yeah, but your dad is out cold," snickered Goten.
"You've got a point there…" said Trunks, in deep thought.
"Where?" asked Goten, looking all over his shirt.
"Never mind. You know what? I've got an idea. Since my dad is unconscious, we can do anything we want! Here's the plan: psssss, psst… psssshhhh… pstpstpst…" The longer he spoke, the larger the smile on Goten's face got. He began giggling, and soon his giggles became peals of laughter. Then his laughter took on an evil shade. Trunks gave him a weird look and said: "OK. I know it's funny, but you can give it a rest now."
"Oooh. OK. But where's that point on me that you were talking about? I gotta take it off."
~*~*~
Once upstairs, the boys began quietly crawling towards Trunks' parents' room. Once inside, they checked to see if there was anyone there. When they were satisfied that the only one there was Vegeta lying on the bed, they began rummaging through Bulma's things in the bathroom.
"…We need to take this… and this is cool!… not that one, the other one… who would ever wear a colour like this?…" could be heard from the bathroom. Once they had collected all the things they needed, they came into the bedroom and sat on the bed beside the still-unconscious Saiyan.
"OK. You do his eyes. I'll take the lips for now… You do realize that if we don't hide for the next two weeks, we'll be dead?" asked Trunks.
"Yeah. But doing this is worth the two weeks we'll be hiding," smiled Goten. And they began their "job". Trunks gave his father's lips a dark crimson colour, then covered the lipstick with a thick coat of gloss.
"Hey, I always thought that was glue!" exclaimed Goten.
"Naw, it's gloss. I've seen my mom do this." Goten returned to working on Vegeta's eyelids. He gave them a nice, thick layer of bright green eye-shadow. "What do I do now?" he asked.
"You have to use the eyeliner, doofus. Don't you know that?"
"My mom doen't use make-up. I don't know! Which one's the eyeliner?"
"See that black tube over there? That's eyeliner," he finished. "Oh, yeah. You have to take off the top. It's kinda like a pencil. And you draw a line around his eyes, right where the eyelashes grow out."
"OK," said Goten, and stuck out his tongue as he prepared to draw a line along Vegeta's eyelid. "Oops," he muttered, as the pencil slipped and somehow got between Vegeta's eyelids.
"What'd you do now?" asked Trunks, worried that his father might wake up.
"I… uhh… kinda stuck him in the eye," he explained, throwing the Prince a troubled look. The Saiyan however only stirred, but did not wake up. The two boys released their breath and sighed with relief.
"Wow. Nice going, Goten. You'd better watch it," said Trunks.
"Yeah," agreed Goten and resumed putting eyeliner on his best friend's dad.
"Hmmmm… Blush," said the lavender-haired boy to himself. "Goten, do you think I should use the pink blush, or the more brownish blush?"
"Pink. Definitely pink. But what is blush?" he asked.
"Women put it on their cheeks. Makes 'em look kinda like clowns."
"Yeah. Pink."
Trunks applied the blush and admired his work from a distance.
"Is that all?" asked Goten.
"Not by a long shot," was the answer he received.
~*~*~
Vegeta woke up with a whopping head ache.
"Urrrhhh…" he groaned, getting up. "I have a matter to settle with that wench." He left the bedroom and went down the stairs. He came into the living room where everyone was sitting and immediately took on a suspicious air. A deathly silence had fallen over the group of people sitting in the living-room, and if it were possible, a large ball of tumble-weed would have rolled through the room. All eyes turned to stare at him in awe.
"What? What're you all staring at?" he asked.
A quiet giggle escaped Bulma's lips, but she suppressed it the moment Vegeta's blazing eyes turned towards her.
"What is so funny, if I may ask?" Vegeta was obviously in no mood for playing guessing games, so Goku (itboc) decided to tell him. All Vegeta saw was the form of Chi Chi getting up from a chair and remembering what she had done to him that afternoon, he started walking towards "her", baring his teeth.
"Hey! Vegeta! It's me, Goku!" cried Goku (itboc), holding out his hands to stop the oncoming Saiyan. Vegeta stopped, did a double-check and remembered all that had happened. Because of him. "Shit," he thought. "Why does everything I do turn against me?" Goku was still giving Vegeta a weird look, and Vegeta's patience had run out.
"Why the hell are you staring at me, you baka?" he yelled.
"Well, you see…" said Goku (itboc), sheepishly. "It's that… you look kinda weird."
"HA HA HA!" Bulma finally burst out laughing. "Weird isn't the word! Downright freakish, that's what you should've said!"
"Wha-?" said Vegeta, and ran into the hallway, where a full-length mirror hung.
The entire group of people jumped when they heard his roar of rage and indignation. "What the fuck? Who did this to me?" Only then did Bulma and Chi Chi (itbog) notice the absence of their children.
"Uh-oh…" they said in unison.
Vegeta stormed into the room, looked around and also noticed the kids' absence. "Well, well, well. I think I know who the culprits are… hee hee hee! I know what to do with them," he smirked evilly.
"No, you will not! I absolutely forbid it!" cried Bulma. "The moment Goku and Chi Chi get switched back, I'm destroying that damned machine!"
"Well, you shouldn't have built it in the first place!" said Vegeta.
"Oh, so you're saying this is all my fault? It's yours and Goku's fault!"
'My husband did nothing wrong," yelled Chi Chi. She threw herself at Bulma, forgetting that she was in the body of one of the two strongest inhabitants of the world. Her weight pinned Bulma to the ground. This infuriated Vegeta.
"Get off my wife, you over-sized hot-dog!!!" he yelled, lunging at Chi Chi (itbog).
"Now wait a minute, leave her alone!" cried Goku (itboc). He saw no other solution, and jumped on top of Vegeta. The beating continued on for another few minutes until finally Goku (itboc), disgusted by the fact that his tiny fists were having no effect on Vegeta, got off him. Remembering the power of his wife's voice, he screeched: "Alright everybody! CUT IT OUT!" This got everyone's attention. They looked over at him a and quickly got off each other. Bulma was worst off, as she had been literally beaten by the hulking Goku (Chi Chi, actually, in the body of Goku). Then there was Chi Chi (itboc) who's strong, "borrowed" body had been pounded on by Vegeta. The only one's unhurt were Vegeta and Goku (itboc). Vegeta had been hit by Chi Chi's small fists (and this had absolutely no effect on him), and Goku (itboc) hadn't been hit by anyone.
"Bulma!" cried Vegeta, when he saw his wife's battered form.
"I'll be fine. I've got to fix the PT, or this nightmare will never be over…" croaked Bulma. She got up slowly and tottered over to her laboratory.
"See what you did, you little bitch?" said Vegeta, first turning toward Chi Chi's body. He then remembered about the switch and turned to Goku's body, inhabited by Chi Chi's personality.
"Fuck you… whore!" spat Chi Chi (itbog) and marched out of the room.
"Uhhh… sorry about all that…" smiled Goku (itboc) sheepishly.
"Yeah, whatever. You know, this is all your fault. If you weren't so clumsy, all this would have never happened."
"Yeah, I know," agreed Goku (itboc) and left the room. Vegeta had expected a contradiction from Goku that would have spurred on the war of words, and this affirmative from Goku had left him speechless.
"Maybe he's smarter that I thought him to be…"
~*~*~
"The PT is ready!" a raspy voice could be heard.
"Finally!" everyone yelled at the same time. They all ran to the laboratory, where a gleaming green button had been installed onto the PT.
"Get in, get in! Quick! Before Vegeta screws something up!" Chi Chi sent a glare in Vegeta's direction. The green button was then pressed, lights shone, then the door opened and out stepped Goku and Chi Chi, back in their own bodies.
"Yay," cried Chi Chi, twirling around and looking down at her body.
"Wow," said Goku. "I sure missed this strength. Believe me Chi, you sure are one weakling!"
"Honey, I have a surprise for you," smiled Chi Chi sweetly. She went up to him, thrust her hand down the front of his orange shirt and pulled out a frying pan. She smiled at him again and whacked him over the head.
"Uhhhh… I should've known she'd even have a frying pan when she was in my body…" moaned Goku.
"Well, lets get this circus over with. Bulma, how do we destroy this thing? Can I just blast it?", asked Vegeta.
"You wish. It has its own self-destruct button." She went up to the machine, and before she did anything, she turned to the occupants of the laboratory. "Well, what are you all waiting for? You have to get out of here! You don't want to blow up with it?"
Everyone left the room. Bulma pressed a button on the control panel and shields popped up all around the precious machinery of the lab. She then pressed a small black button near the bottom of the PT. She quickly ran out of the room and closed the door. Everyone looked through a thick glass window into the lab. A small dribble of smoke began escaping through the door of the PT, and suddenly the whole machine exploded. When the dust settled, Bulma pressed a button on the wall. The dust and debris were sucked out of the lab, and the large room was left sparkling-clean.
"There," she said, wiping her hands on her pants.
"Feh. I could've done all that for you without all this hocus-pocus, mumbo-jumbo," said Vegeta.
"Well, I didn't want you to tire out your finger, my Prince," said Bulma sarcastically.
At the end of the hallway, two heads popped out from behind the wall.
"Wow, that was so cool!", exclaimed Trunks.
"Hey, quiet down," said Goten. "You don't want your dad to hear us, do you?"
"Aw, don't fret about it. The blast probably deafened him, he won't hear for the next decade or so," snickered Trunks.
However Trunks was wrong. Vegeta's head turned in their direction and he smirked.
"Never underestimate your father, Trunks. Especially when he's the Prince of all Saiyans." He turned slowly towards the heads sticking out from behind the wall and began walking in their direction. The two boys flew as fast as they could, but there was no escaping "Vegeta's wrath".
~*~*~
"What the hell is that?" one man asked another.
"I dunno. Looks suspicious."
"Mommy, what are those two boys doing?"
"Don't look at them honey. Avert your eyes."
"It's probably another sect."
"Yeah. Though I've never heard of them before…"
And most eyes turned toward the two boys walking down the street. They were both the same age. They had bright make-up on, the colours ranging from bright pink to bright green, yellow red and orange. They wore very tight tank-tops and short, leather mini-skirts. Their nails were painted with polish, and each nail sported a different colour. They had gold earrings in their ears and pink bows in their hair. Two pairs of glossy shoes on 8" heels finished of the horribly whorish look. They looked very frightened, and both of them cast wary glances in the air once in a while. And what were they looking at, you ask? A solitary man was flying through the air, ready to blast any one of them if they so much as dared to stop their walk through the street.
THE END
Well, that's it. All e-mails and reviews are welcome (kotszok@polbox.com). But please don't flame me! SPARE ME! You can go check out my other fics. If you click on my pen-name at the top of the page, you'll be taken to a page with my bio, and at the bottom there's a whole list of all my fics.
