Walk Amongst The Shadows
by
Nuttyginger
I walk among these people, in the sunshine, in the crowd, but never part of the crowd. They all look at me as if they have seen me before but none of them have seen the real me, the real me that holds a terrible secret and a heartache I refuse to feel. I can feel the Sunshine on my back, seeping through my little tanktop. I know people but they don't know me, the me that hide's in a body that is a shadow of a life time before. I watched them from my vantage point, belonging, knowing who they are. I don't yearn for that, I am happy just to exist now. You see the body but never the soul for it left her years ago, one dark night when the world crumbled and three short nights later she was gone. I never want to find her and I never will because there is only one thing that will ever bring her back and nothing can bring him back.
Friends from the past tried to help me find her again, sent me top a shrink but even he couldn't find or see her. But then again not even friends past knew the real her and what she could be. They were happy to accept the mask just to make themselves feel better. I can't blame them, I probably would have done the same in their shoes. She is hidden away behind very high walls, higher than the walls of Jerico. I know that I shouldn't detach myself but I don't see the point of her trying to be like them because we're not. We have been through too much and seen too much to lead normal lives. We know what goes bump in the night and what the bogey man really is. We know things that really shouldn't. We have a mind ravaged and a soul broken. We are much the same but so much is different. One broken, one a shadow, which one is worst.
I can carry a smile and a have the happy look on my face but it never reaches my eyes. My smile can be as strong and I can possibly make it and I will still feel like I live in a shadowed world. Nothing will ever lighten my world to the point that a light will mend the shattered pieces of my heart. Only one person could ever mend her heart and he is dead and buried. She said good-bye to him nearly a year ago and that was when I was born.
I don't know how long even I can go on living with her or him, he was a rock to the existence for both of us.
You see she is Cordelia Chase and her anchor was a friends she called Angel, but the story of their end is a piteous over-throw of a life kicking you in the teeth. I am Chase, a shell of Cordelia, looking alike, sounding alike but we are nothing the same. She lived to help other people and to do her best: I simply live to exist.
~*~
Another part of the Uni Stories. (US). Tell me what you think and I have the story behind this if anyone wants me to post it as a chapter just let me know and I will comply!
Nutty
I walk among these people, in the sunshine, in the crowd, but never part of the crowd. They all look at me as if they have seen me before but none of them have seen the real me, the real me that holds a terrible secret and a heartache I refuse to feel. I can feel the Sunshine on my back, seeping through my little tanktop. I know people but they don't know me, the me that hide's in a body that is a shadow of a life time before. I watched them from my vantage point, belonging, knowing who they are. I don't yearn for that, I am happy just to exist now. You see the body but never the soul for it left her years ago, one dark night when the world crumbled and three short nights later she was gone. I never want to find her and I never will because there is only one thing that will ever bring her back and nothing can bring him back.
Friends from the past tried to help me find her again, sent me top a shrink but even he couldn't find or see her. But then again not even friends past knew the real her and what she could be. They were happy to accept the mask just to make themselves feel better. I can't blame them, I probably would have done the same in their shoes. She is hidden away behind very high walls, higher than the walls of Jerico. I know that I shouldn't detach myself but I don't see the point of her trying to be like them because we're not. We have been through too much and seen too much to lead normal lives. We know what goes bump in the night and what the bogey man really is. We know things that really shouldn't. We have a mind ravaged and a soul broken. We are much the same but so much is different. One broken, one a shadow, which one is worst.
I can carry a smile and a have the happy look on my face but it never reaches my eyes. My smile can be as strong and I can possibly make it and I will still feel like I live in a shadowed world. Nothing will ever lighten my world to the point that a light will mend the shattered pieces of my heart. Only one person could ever mend her heart and he is dead and buried. She said good-bye to him nearly a year ago and that was when I was born.
I don't know how long even I can go on living with her or him, he was a rock to the existence for both of us.
You see she is Cordelia Chase and her anchor was a friends she called Angel, but the story of their end is a piteous over-throw of a life kicking you in the teeth. I am Chase, a shell of Cordelia, looking alike, sounding alike but we are nothing the same. She lived to help other people and to do her best: I simply live to exist.
~*~
Another part of the Uni Stories. (US). Tell me what you think and I have the story behind this if anyone wants me to post it as a chapter just let me know and I will comply!
Nutty