A/N: thx to those of you who did review *sniff sniff* There's only six (when I posted this chapter) oh well. The rest of you who didn't review poopy on you. I have to change something in this fic. Some where in one of the previous chapters that says that Neal's son is about 15 well that would put Neal and Kel's ages between 35 and 40 but I changed my mind in this chapter and I don't want them to be that old so just pretend that Kel is about 19 and which would make Neal 24 I think. Oh yeah by the by, if you recognize it, I don't own it.
After breakfast, Kel and Neal headed outside. It was a lovely day, not a cloud in the sky, and the weather was perfect as well. During breakfast, Kel had challenged Neal to a round of hand-to-hand combat partially because she felt that her and Neal could use some practice and partially because she wanted to remind Neal what kind of woman she was. When they had found a good spot, they prepared for the mock fight. Neal removed his shirt making Kel blush a brilliant scarlet.
"You shouldn't be so embarrassed Kel, you've seen me without a shirt on hundreds of times."
"I know but…but this is different," she replied while trying unsuccessfully to keep her Yamani mask on.
"How?" Neal asked, an amused look on his face.
"It just is!" Kel replied shortly.
"Explain. I, being the ignorant fool that I am, don't understand how this is any different from any of the other times you've been with me while I was half naked. So if you will enlighten me?" he prompted
"Well…well it's different you see because …because of well because of lots of things."
"Like?"
"Well like well you know we're adults now and we should act like it. It's not proper for an unmarried woman like me to look at someone like you."
"What do you mean someone like me? And since when have you cared for what's proper and what's not?"
"Since well if you must know, and don't you dare hold this against me, since last night."
"Why? Nothing happened last night."
"Nothing happened for you," Kel corrected him, "but for me I've…I've never slept with a man before, like in the same bed"
"Never? Not with Cleon or with Dom or with…with anyone?"
"That is correct Neal you seem to have interpreted what I said correctly – "
"Never? Not once?" Neal had interrupted her with his babbling.
"Obviously this is too hard for you to understand come find me when the concept has sunk into your silly head." Kel snapped and walked off to find a quiet place to be alone. She knew she shouldn't have been so short with him but he had made her feel like an idiot.
Hours later, Neal found Kel alone in a remote corner of the stables. "Ahh...Kel? I'm sorry about…about earlier," Neal said quietly.
"It's alright. I think I was just tired from my ride to get here."
"If you say so Kel. I know it's rude but I must know, you really have never slept with a man before?"
"I thought we already went over this, no I have never slept with a man before well technically, I have but I've never actually done anything."
"Then why did you say last night was different?"
Kel sighed this was not going to be easy to get out of she might as well tell him. "I can't explain exactly why last night was different but it felt different. Look I know I've been with Cleon and Dom but you should know, not that you'll care much, that, well, I had a crush on you since I was 11, at least I thought I did until Cleon kissed me that one Midwinter. Even when I was with Cleon though I still felt things when you were around. Those same small feelings spread to encompass Dom as well and I thought that I was over you but the truth is I wasn't and I don't think I am even now. That's why last night was different because I know it probably meant nothing to you but it meant a hell of a lot to me." Kel stopped and looked quickly away from his face, "I'm sorry Neal I didn't mean to lecture. Maybe I should go, I could be out of here in a matter of minutes if you want."
"Nonsense, Kel, you've given me something to think about, and for your information I do care because did it ever occur to you that I just might have felt the same for you many years ago?"
Kel stared at him. "No," she said icily, "but maybe that was because you spent most of your time telling me how much you loved the other the court ladies and I knew that since I would never look like that and could never be that that you probably didn't even realize that I was a girl half the time. But I didn't say anything, not once, to spoil your dreams even though with every new infatuation of yours you tore apart mine."
"Well, I did, in fact, I spent a lot of time trying to forget just that because I thought you would never think of me as anything but a friend or a big brother and furthermore that you would probably find me too old but I guess you proved me wrong."
They were both silent for a moment, tension thick in the air. Kel was the first to break the silence.
"We both need to think about this and sort out our mess of feelings. Look, I'll meet you back here after lunch. Mayhap we will both have calmed down by then and besides, you still owe me a fight," and with a quick wink she turned and walked off to find someplace to think.
That's all I have time to write at the moment cuz the bell is going to ring soon and then I have to go sit through another three hours of dreadful class. Well please, please, please tell me what you think.