Author's note: Sorry, forgot to add another disclaimer: I do not own any character from Houshin Engi or Ayashi no Ceres either. =)
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Chapter 3: Kankei (Relationship)
[My head still hurts. Damn it, who the hell am I? I am who I am... Nagisa Kaworu... Tabris, the 17th Angel. But it's just so blur. Everything is so confusing, in a mess, what the heck am I doing? I know everybody, but yet, I don't remember what I am doing here. Yanagi...wasn't she... Argh, I don't remember her. No, wait... Kanojyo? My girlfriend...? I'm not sure.. My sister? No, angel's don't have such humane relations. Youzen.. who is he? And Noin. I was talking to him a while yesterday, and then I... I said something to him, what did I say? What the hell did I say? I can't recall anything now. Shit..my head hurts so badly. How can I feel pain? I should have no feelings at all. I was sent to destroy all humans, not live with them... Then, why am I still here? Ikari...Shinji. Shinji-kun, where are you? You should still be alive, isn't it? What year am I in...? I gotta get out of here, somebody, help me... Someone, please... Help me out before]
His pleas cease, as there is the familiar interrupting knock on his door again. [Youzen...ka?] He is right. Standing at the door, in the same dressing as before, is his supposedly best friend, Youzen. Kaworu mutters a soft "Hi", before resuming to his thoughts by the window. [Why does he come over every morning?]
Youzen: Kaworu-kun, ohayo. You feeling better today, right? I made an appointment for you with the school doctor. Yamada-sensei said he's willing to do a quick check-up for you before lessons start today. Please go, I...I'm quite worried about you.
Kaworu: ...ok.
[Why does he have to be worried about me? I can take care of myself...I think.]
In the small medical room, the school doctor commences the standard check-up. Although it was meant to be a "quick" examination, to Kaworu, it was forever. He felt as if he was waiting at a bus stop for someone special, someone very precious...someone who would never arrive. All he thought about was running away, but he had nowhere to run to. He had no clue as to who he was, let alone find a place for himself to hide in, and let his body waste away.
Finally, the doctor was finished. "There is nothing wrong with you, Nagisa. The only thing I feel is wrong is that your eyes appear to be blood-shot, I suppose you haven't been sleeping well? Exams coming right? It's okay, just try to relax a little bit, and get more sleep this weekend. If the headaches continue, however, you must remember to arrange another appointment, alright?"
"...."
"Thank you very much, Yamada-sensei. Kaworu is quite tired now, but I'm sure he appreciates it very much. We'll be leaving now, thank you again."
"No problem. See you."
The nurse enters just as Youzen helps a weak Kaworu out of the room. She asks Yamada, "What is the diagnosis, Sensei?"
"Nothing."
"But the red-eyed boy looked quite sick, Sensei."
"You don't know the other boy? Youzen. The one with blue hair."
"Well, I've heard that he is quite smart."
"Not just that. They say the both of them... Ah, never mind."
"Yes, sensei."
The nurse leave the room. Yamada mumbles his thoughts out aloud, "The blood-shot eyes aren't really caused by just not sleeping well. Kaworu and Youzen...don't tell me that rumour is true?"
In Kaworu's room, Youzen leans against the wall, waiting for Kaworu to speak. [I don't know anything anymore...it's just so unclear.]
Kaworu: ...why are you still here...
Youzen: What do you mean, Kaworu-kun? I'm your roommate.
[he is?]
Kaworu: ...you are?
Youzen: Yes, how could you have forgotten?
Suddenly, he moves towards Kaworu, and places his hand over Kaworu's hands. Kaworu shudders. [what the heck is he doing? is this guy....]
"Are you alright, Kaworu-kun?" Youzen's tone is very gentle, and very affectionate.
"....I'm fine. Really."
Surprisingly, Youzen inches nearer to Kaworu. Kaworu blinks and looks away, trying to avoid being locked in this bishounen's gaze. His eyes shoot across to the corners of the room, but he still feels Youzen pushing him slowly down onto the bed. Their faces are now frighteningly close to each other. Kaworu's thoughts freeze in that single second, as Youzen closes his eyes, and is about to place his lips onto Kaworu's.
"Kaworu! Mr. I-Will-Argue-About-Everything!! You there?! Still sleeping?"
The genki voice belongs to Fuko, Yanagi's good friend. She was a hyper-activel, light-hearted girl. The cheeky smile hardly left her face. She was always playing pranks on classmates, and was constantly seen jumping around the class, and challenging students from other classes. She was quite a tomboy, and only showed her soft, feminine side to those closest to her.
And there she was, waiting outside the door- impatient and unknowing of the forbidden scene that was about to happen in the privacy of the room.
Of course, nothing ever occured that day, because of her interruption. [thank goodness... who the hell is here, though? this youzen guy...i don't remember him being...like this. wait...i don't remember him much at all. what is wrong with him? what is wrong...with me..?]
Saying nothing, Youzen gets up and opens the door. He smiles as he sees that it is only a 'friend', and not 'somebody else'. "Hi, Fuko." The surface of his tone was friendly, but Kaworu, only Kaworu, heard the coldness and hostility in it. [Youzen...]
"So, I come in here, and I find the two of you! Do you guys have any idea how LATE for class you are?! Come on! Alexander-sensei has been waitin for you guys for SO long! Boy are you both in deep trouble! But, of course, you have to thank me, the Great Fuko Kirisawa!! Hahaha... I told Alexander-sensei that you brought Kaworu to the medical room, 'cause he was sick, right? The nerdy guy believed me in an instant! Yeah~! Oh, by the way, Kaworu-kun, you should've been in class today! Some guy from second-year level came over and said Noin was in a weak state this morning! Sure you would've loved to see that, right?! Haha...you're ALWAYS arguing with each other, if I were you, I'd go straight to his classroom and bring him right down man!! YEAH!"
[fuko-san...do i really hate him that much? do i really argue with him that much? i don't remember...]
Youzen: Well, acutally, I did bring Kaworu-kun to see Yamada-sensei, because he was still unwell. But Yamada-sensei said he was fine. I'm still worried, though. Kaworu-kun, if there is anything wrong, you have to tell me, alright?
Kaworu: ...yeah. Yeah, ok.
[tell you? how can i trust someone like you... if i tell you, then you'd just do that... sick.]
He shivers.
The bubbly Fuko spoke again, "Okay...so we can go to the class now, right-o?! Come on! You people are slower than my grandmother! Hahaha..."
Her sincere laughter echoes down the corridor, as the three sixteen-year-olds stroll to their classroom, seemingly having no particular urgency to hurry. Youzen does stop, however, and turns to face a startled Kaworu. [what is he gonna do now? continue what he did just...now...?]
"Yeah?" Kaworu tries depserately to mask his fear. [I should not feel afraid like this. It isn't right. I'm not supposed to be afraid of anything. Not even death.]
Youzen smiles knowingly, as if he has easily seen through Kaworu.
"I want to apologise for just now. I will not do it again; I don't want to force you to do things you are unwilling to do. Just tell me, that's all. Alright?"
The pleasant smile still holds the worried expression of a mother concerned for her child's welfare. Loving at a glance, but something is hidden in the meaning. Something...
The footsteps echo as well, as Youzen follows after Fuko down the stairs. Kaworu stands stationary, unable to react. [he really is...sick. how in the world did i get to know such a person? are humans like this? do they have a tendency to like people of the same gender? ...it's so uncomfortable. ouch...my head.]
"Kaworu." Another voice, another unfamiliar voice, behind him.
He turns.
***
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Chapter 3: Kankei (Relationship)
[My head still hurts. Damn it, who the hell am I? I am who I am... Nagisa Kaworu... Tabris, the 17th Angel. But it's just so blur. Everything is so confusing, in a mess, what the heck am I doing? I know everybody, but yet, I don't remember what I am doing here. Yanagi...wasn't she... Argh, I don't remember her. No, wait... Kanojyo? My girlfriend...? I'm not sure.. My sister? No, angel's don't have such humane relations. Youzen.. who is he? And Noin. I was talking to him a while yesterday, and then I... I said something to him, what did I say? What the hell did I say? I can't recall anything now. Shit..my head hurts so badly. How can I feel pain? I should have no feelings at all. I was sent to destroy all humans, not live with them... Then, why am I still here? Ikari...Shinji. Shinji-kun, where are you? You should still be alive, isn't it? What year am I in...? I gotta get out of here, somebody, help me... Someone, please... Help me out before]
His pleas cease, as there is the familiar interrupting knock on his door again. [Youzen...ka?] He is right. Standing at the door, in the same dressing as before, is his supposedly best friend, Youzen. Kaworu mutters a soft "Hi", before resuming to his thoughts by the window. [Why does he come over every morning?]
Youzen: Kaworu-kun, ohayo. You feeling better today, right? I made an appointment for you with the school doctor. Yamada-sensei said he's willing to do a quick check-up for you before lessons start today. Please go, I...I'm quite worried about you.
Kaworu: ...ok.
[Why does he have to be worried about me? I can take care of myself...I think.]
In the small medical room, the school doctor commences the standard check-up. Although it was meant to be a "quick" examination, to Kaworu, it was forever. He felt as if he was waiting at a bus stop for someone special, someone very precious...someone who would never arrive. All he thought about was running away, but he had nowhere to run to. He had no clue as to who he was, let alone find a place for himself to hide in, and let his body waste away.
Finally, the doctor was finished. "There is nothing wrong with you, Nagisa. The only thing I feel is wrong is that your eyes appear to be blood-shot, I suppose you haven't been sleeping well? Exams coming right? It's okay, just try to relax a little bit, and get more sleep this weekend. If the headaches continue, however, you must remember to arrange another appointment, alright?"
"...."
"Thank you very much, Yamada-sensei. Kaworu is quite tired now, but I'm sure he appreciates it very much. We'll be leaving now, thank you again."
"No problem. See you."
The nurse enters just as Youzen helps a weak Kaworu out of the room. She asks Yamada, "What is the diagnosis, Sensei?"
"Nothing."
"But the red-eyed boy looked quite sick, Sensei."
"You don't know the other boy? Youzen. The one with blue hair."
"Well, I've heard that he is quite smart."
"Not just that. They say the both of them... Ah, never mind."
"Yes, sensei."
The nurse leave the room. Yamada mumbles his thoughts out aloud, "The blood-shot eyes aren't really caused by just not sleeping well. Kaworu and Youzen...don't tell me that rumour is true?"
In Kaworu's room, Youzen leans against the wall, waiting for Kaworu to speak. [I don't know anything anymore...it's just so unclear.]
Kaworu: ...why are you still here...
Youzen: What do you mean, Kaworu-kun? I'm your roommate.
[he is?]
Kaworu: ...you are?
Youzen: Yes, how could you have forgotten?
Suddenly, he moves towards Kaworu, and places his hand over Kaworu's hands. Kaworu shudders. [what the heck is he doing? is this guy....]
"Are you alright, Kaworu-kun?" Youzen's tone is very gentle, and very affectionate.
"....I'm fine. Really."
Surprisingly, Youzen inches nearer to Kaworu. Kaworu blinks and looks away, trying to avoid being locked in this bishounen's gaze. His eyes shoot across to the corners of the room, but he still feels Youzen pushing him slowly down onto the bed. Their faces are now frighteningly close to each other. Kaworu's thoughts freeze in that single second, as Youzen closes his eyes, and is about to place his lips onto Kaworu's.
"Kaworu! Mr. I-Will-Argue-About-Everything!! You there?! Still sleeping?"
The genki voice belongs to Fuko, Yanagi's good friend. She was a hyper-activel, light-hearted girl. The cheeky smile hardly left her face. She was always playing pranks on classmates, and was constantly seen jumping around the class, and challenging students from other classes. She was quite a tomboy, and only showed her soft, feminine side to those closest to her.
And there she was, waiting outside the door- impatient and unknowing of the forbidden scene that was about to happen in the privacy of the room.
Of course, nothing ever occured that day, because of her interruption. [thank goodness... who the hell is here, though? this youzen guy...i don't remember him being...like this. wait...i don't remember him much at all. what is wrong with him? what is wrong...with me..?]
Saying nothing, Youzen gets up and opens the door. He smiles as he sees that it is only a 'friend', and not 'somebody else'. "Hi, Fuko." The surface of his tone was friendly, but Kaworu, only Kaworu, heard the coldness and hostility in it. [Youzen...]
"So, I come in here, and I find the two of you! Do you guys have any idea how LATE for class you are?! Come on! Alexander-sensei has been waitin for you guys for SO long! Boy are you both in deep trouble! But, of course, you have to thank me, the Great Fuko Kirisawa!! Hahaha... I told Alexander-sensei that you brought Kaworu to the medical room, 'cause he was sick, right? The nerdy guy believed me in an instant! Yeah~! Oh, by the way, Kaworu-kun, you should've been in class today! Some guy from second-year level came over and said Noin was in a weak state this morning! Sure you would've loved to see that, right?! Haha...you're ALWAYS arguing with each other, if I were you, I'd go straight to his classroom and bring him right down man!! YEAH!"
[fuko-san...do i really hate him that much? do i really argue with him that much? i don't remember...]
Youzen: Well, acutally, I did bring Kaworu-kun to see Yamada-sensei, because he was still unwell. But Yamada-sensei said he was fine. I'm still worried, though. Kaworu-kun, if there is anything wrong, you have to tell me, alright?
Kaworu: ...yeah. Yeah, ok.
[tell you? how can i trust someone like you... if i tell you, then you'd just do that... sick.]
He shivers.
The bubbly Fuko spoke again, "Okay...so we can go to the class now, right-o?! Come on! You people are slower than my grandmother! Hahaha..."
Her sincere laughter echoes down the corridor, as the three sixteen-year-olds stroll to their classroom, seemingly having no particular urgency to hurry. Youzen does stop, however, and turns to face a startled Kaworu. [what is he gonna do now? continue what he did just...now...?]
"Yeah?" Kaworu tries depserately to mask his fear. [I should not feel afraid like this. It isn't right. I'm not supposed to be afraid of anything. Not even death.]
Youzen smiles knowingly, as if he has easily seen through Kaworu.
"I want to apologise for just now. I will not do it again; I don't want to force you to do things you are unwilling to do. Just tell me, that's all. Alright?"
The pleasant smile still holds the worried expression of a mother concerned for her child's welfare. Loving at a glance, but something is hidden in the meaning. Something...
The footsteps echo as well, as Youzen follows after Fuko down the stairs. Kaworu stands stationary, unable to react. [he really is...sick. how in the world did i get to know such a person? are humans like this? do they have a tendency to like people of the same gender? ...it's so uncomfortable. ouch...my head.]
"Kaworu." Another voice, another unfamiliar voice, behind him.
He turns.
***