Author's Notes:
Yay, another chapter!
This fic is gonna be really long!!! Nyerk. Rei, darlin', yer slave driver....
Notes to those wonderful reviewers:
Clarus - Only when Rei-chan makes me. Mae - Glad you waited, too! And, finally, Supernaturalove - Gosh. Seems like you've got greater expectations for this fic than I do! ::Snerk.:: I hope we're up to snuff!
Oh! And, finally, a question. There's potential lemon scene here, as well as in the up-coming Sano & Megumi fic. As for S&M, yer gettin' one of those, whether you want it, or not. But... Well... D'yall want a 2K lemon scene? I'm kinda scared about writing it - my lemon skillz (Yeah, I just spelled with a Z. Life's a bitch and then you die.) lean more in the yaoi direction... But if I get enough support, and if Rei twists my arm enough, y'all can have a 2K lemon! Also, soon I'll be asking whether an S&M lemon (in the Ochiru world, so it's a little weird, of course...) appeals to y'all. I've got it whittled down, right now, to an S&M lime, but if you want it, you'll get a lemon, too. Lemme know! Start telling me now!!
Reviews are muchly craved and greatly appreciated, like a tall glass of water on a hot summer day. Ya hear?!
Go forth and enjoy!
SnM
Chapter Three
He looks so different, Kaoru thought, contemplating the new Kenshin' who had turned up on her doorstep spare hours ago.
As this thought crossed her mind, Kenshin stepped into the dining room. Ah, Kaoru? Where would you like me to put this? He held up the towel he had used, his eyebrows raised.
He has changed, she thought, her eyes wide. Kenshin looked clean, his hair, almost brown when wet, plastered to his skull, and he looked pleased to be such. But, still He's so pale, and since when has Kenshin had cheekbones?! It was true. The skin had tightened over the bones of his face, any fat he might have had gone from his body. His cheeks were gaunt, his eyes sunken. So thin He didn't seem to notice, and this, perhaps, was the strangest part.
But we've both changed, Kaoru reminded herself. Kenshin and I, we're different And it isn't even just us Sano's different, and so is Yahiko We've all changed so much
Uhm, just leave them in my bedroom – There's a pile of laundry just inside my door. I'll talk care of it.
All right Kenshin said hesitantly, and disappeared down the hall. A few minutes later, he returned, empty-handed. He stood in the doorway, barely in the room at all. Is everything all right, Kaoru?
Kaoru nodded, pouring Kenshin a cup of tea. It is now, she replied.
Kenshin sighed, taking the offered cup, and sat down at the table, sipping the tea appreciatively.
You should have seen Yahiko's face when I put my first edible meal in front of him... Kaoru said, smiling nostalgically. For all the pain, the loss, there had still been good times, in the past two years... They were few and far apart, but they were there none the less.
He couldn't help but smile, his head bowed over his tea cup. I always liked your cooking.
Mmm... You were the only one.
Hm, well...
Kaoru, at the moment, seemed to be fascinated by the dregs of her tea, swirling them around in the bottom of her cup. Kenshin yawned, and quickly threw a hand over his mouth, embarrassed.
The dark-haired young woman smiled down into her cup. You room is probably... sort of clean... There's most likely some dust, but I'll take care of it in the morning...
Oh, it's fine, Kenshin said, putting his cup down on the table. I'll take care of it.
Kaoru rolled her eyes, pouring him more tea, which he left untouched. What if I say I want to clean it for you?
The redhead looked at her for a moment before shrugging limply.
No fair! Kaoru said, playing at some of her old temper. You're supposed to argue with me! She smiled at him as if to say, All in good fun...'
The smile on his lips was a tired one. Is that the way it works...? I'm afraid I'm a little tired for all that...
Oh, give it up, Kenshin, she returned teasingly. Go to sleep.
He stifled another grand yawn, looking a little sheepish. I think I might... Noting that the blue-eyed girl was already taking care of the tea service, Kenshin stood, and headed for his old room, knowing that Kaoru would be following close behind him in a moment or two.
Standing before that old door, Kenshin felt something welling in his chest... It was a foreign feeling, but, at the same time, familiar. This... feels like home... The thought surprised him a little. Home... It feels good to come back... But... Can I stay here, really...? He sighed and dismissed that train of thought for the moment - he would decide for sure later, when he wasn't so tired. Kenshin pushed open his' bedroom door and -
Coughed. Dust. He was choking on a cloud of dust, probably stirred up by the slight movement of the sliding door. Kenshin couldn't help but take a defensive step back, like the cloud of smothering dust were some attacker. He couldn't breath...
The door snapped shut, and, within moments, the air was flowing smoothly into his lungs again. He looked up, still clutching the front of his kimono, his chest aching a little. Kaoru was frowning at him severely.
I guess it's been longer than I thought since I last cleaned, she said, her eyes dark. You can stay in my room tonight.
No, it's fine, he replied softly. I'll just open a window... Or I can-
Kenshin, stop it, Kaoru snapped. You were practically suffocating right there. Go get your bag. I'll put down another futon.
The redhead went to retrieve his pack, and, when he returned, Kaoru had left her bedroom door open, and was kneeling on the floor, making up a second futon. The first thing he noticed was how long her hair had gotten. It was pooling on the floor about her knees.
Kaoru looked up. Aren't you going to- What...?
Your hair, he said quietly, gesturing vaguely around his own head, where there were no longer heavy locks of hair.
Oh, yes... Surprised? Her smile was a little playful.
Ah... A little...
Well, you know what they say. A woman's hair is her most precious possession... I'm not so sure about all that, but why bother taking the time to cut it, after all? Besides... Kaoru looked away, blushing ever so slightly, focusing on the sheets she was spreading out. You said once that you liked it down...
... It looks beautiful, he said after a pause.
Thank you, Kaoru mumbled before standing. There, all ready for you. She moved to the window, closing the shutters.
Kenshin sat down, putting his bag down by the futon, and settling down to sit on the futon. I'm shaking again, he noticed, but put that aside and focused on making himself comfortable... Oh, he wasn't used to this... He thought about telling her that she needn't have prepared a mattress, that he preferred to sleep with his back against a wall, but it was rude, he decided, to belittle Kaoru's effort. Good night, Kaoru, he said softly, bowing his head and closing his eyes. He found that he was more tired that he'd realized, and he quickly fell asleep.
Good night, Kaoru replied, settling down under her covers. She lay there, awake, long after Kenshin had drifted off.
The sun shone brightly the next morning, a perfect spring morning, although the wind still had a cold edge to it. Kaoru looked out at the sky, at the sun, which had risen while she was in the training hall. Now, as she paused in her practice, she had a moment to contemplate it.
Breaking away from her rather lazy thoughts, she closed her eyes and focused her energy on her routine. Within moments of pushing her body into motion, she found herself at the other end of the training hall, the sound of her feet slapping against the floor still echoing slightly in the room. Much better, she told herself, nodding slightly. She made her way back to the other end of the hall, moving rapidly through the exercise. Satisfied, for the most part, she set her shinai on the rack, and knelt to pray.
Rising, she couldn't help but wonder whether Kenshin was up yet. She'd left breakfast cooling in the kitchen. Maybe he'd be eating... Or maybe he was still asleep... He'd seemed so tired the night before.
She tapped on her bedroom door, for propriety's sake. There was no answer, and so she pushed open the door and stepped inside. Oh, good God... She almost stepped back in surprise. Kenshin.. He looks so... frail... In fact, he looked nearly dead, sitting there, slumped over, as still as could be. His pale, papery skin was stretched taut over his bones, and his chest barely moved with his shallow breathing. She wondered why his breath wasn't deeper, more even, like that of someone deep in sleep ought to be. The supposition that something might be wrong sent a thrill of panic through her, and her own breath caught in her throat.
Kaoru knelt down beside Kenshin's temporary bed. Maybe it's because he's sitting up, she thought, and reached out to take his thin hand. His skin was cold, the veins a bright blue under his flesh. Maybe I should get him to lie down... That feeling - that nervousness - was rising in her, and it made Kaoru feel just a little helpless. She didn't like it, how dead he looked, how still he was. Maybe...
Kenshin sighed softly, shifting a little. Kaoru let out a breath she'd hardly known she was holding, and released Kenshin's hand. After a moment, she reached up to brush his hair out of his eyes, but something - she didn't know quite what - got the better of her, and she withdrew, getting to her feet. He's okay... she thought, and the minute it crossed her mind, she knew it was true. She could feel it in the room. He was all right - he would be all right.
Quietly, she stepped away from the futon, lingering in the doorway, watching Kenshin sleep. Welcome home, she murmured. She couldn't help the slight smile that was pulling at the corners of her mouth. Kenshin was home...
His gasp startled her. Looking up, she could see that the redhead's entire body was tense, ready to snap at any moment. But... he's still asleep...! She watched him, concerned, wondering whether she ought to wake him. Before her eyes, Kenshin began to tremble, and he was leaning back in his sleep, as though leaning away from something.
She moved the kneel beside him again, still trying to decide what to do. He's troubled... What ghosts are haunting him now...? She sighed, wringing her hands in her lap. I'll have to tell him... I shouldn't have lied... But... Looking down at her hands, she tried to forget what was beneath her long sleeves, tried to forget that she'd bought a new gi to hide her... But...
Moments later, Kenshin's strangled scream woke her from her anxious reverie. He was awake now, his violet eyes sweeping the room nervously, a pale shadow of terror clouding his expression. He was shaking violently, and the effort of sitting up quickly became too much. Collapsing against his knees, he stared straight ahead, gasping for breath, his skin clammy and cold.
Kaoru, her eyes wide, reached out to take one of his hands. What's wrong?!
His eyes shot over to her, his terrified expression returning. He brought her hand up to his mouth, and pressed her palm to his lips, still shuddering severely. His breath rolled unevenly over the back of her hand.
the young woman whispered, her heart hammering in her chest.
Oh, God... You're not dead... His voice was hoarse, hardly more than a whisper.
Startled, Kaoru shook her head. No... Of course I'm not... She leaned forward, touching her forehead to his. I feel more alive than I have in a long time, she admitted softly.
He kissed her hand again, light, thankful caresses. I-I- Oh, God, he breathed. Pausing, he let out a shuddering sigh. I had the most... the most terrible dream... He brought her hand to his cheek, and held it there, his hands trembling. he continued, voice shaking. Please... Don't ever leave me... Oh, God, I'm so selfish... But I- Please, don't leave me...
Kaoru gasped. What does he mean...? What... I... This couldn't be about... But... I should... I should tell him- But I can't! Kenshin's skin was damp beneath her palm, damp and chill.
He took another shuddering breath and, as he let it out, she could see some of the coherency fade from his eyes. He spoke in what seemed to be one, long breath, the thought continuing even without his awareness. You were lying in the other - the other room... My' room... And you were lying in the dust on the floor, and there was blood everywhere, and the moonlight was shining on you, and the shutters had blood all over them because you'd tried to open them with your hands all bloody... And you - you were in my room and it was all my fault...
It felt as if her breath had left her body. Oh, she felt sick... No! she thought. It can't be - it just can't be! How could he know? How! How is that even possible...!?
He continued, softly, that far away look in his eyes. Please don't ever, ever... Oh, God, please don't... He looked up, apparently aware, now, that Kaoru, too, was shaking.
He can't! He can't know! It's just - It's just a coincidence! There's no way he could know!
He was staring at her, his eyes dark and shadowed, even in the bright sunshine that was filtering through the windows. he said quietly. What's the matter? The air between them remained silent, the black-haired woman's eyes fixed on her lap. Nervous, Kenshin continued. Kaoru- Whatever I said... I'm sorry- I wasn't thinking. He took a deep breath. I'm sorry. I wasn't thinking.
It's not... Kaoru began, but found she couldn't continue. She slipped her hand away from his face, letting it fall to rest on her thigh. Taking a breath, she tried again. It's not you. I... She found a little bit of strength somewhere within herself, and looked up at Kenshin. I shouldn't have, but I lied to you last night.