Joxer woke up with a start a few hours after dawn. "Ares!" he said and shook his tired husband.
"Joxer, my love. If the temple isn't on fire, and you continue to wake me up, I'll be very upset…" Ares mumbled into his pillow.
"I think it's time…"
"Time for what?" Ares pulled the blanket over his shoulders.
"Time for the baby to get out!" Joxer answered with panic in his voice.
Ares opened one eye, "Baby?"
"Yes!"
The other eye opened, "Baby, now?"
"Yes!"
Ares bolted out of bed and then proceeded to try and pull Joxer out of bed.
"What are you doing?" his husband glared.
"Baby's coming! We need to go to Mom!" Ares pulled at Joxer's arm.
Joxer patted Ares' arm soothingly, "I have a better idea, why don't you go and get Hera and I'll wait here. I don't think I should be running around Olympus right now."
Ares looked at Joxer; his love was completely brilliant! What a great idea! He nodded, fluffed Joxer's pillow and gently pushed Joxer back into the bed. He then pulled the blanket up to Joxer's chin and tucked him in. "Comfy?" he asked.
Joxer stared in bewilderment at his husband and hesitantly nodded.
"Good," Ares grinned maniacally and disappeared.
*********
He appeared in Zeus and Hera's bedroom, between them in the bed to be precise. "Mommy!" he said and shook her shoulder.
Hera just stared at her son. "What in Tartarus are you doing in our bed?" she asked a bit grumpy.
"Joxer!" Ares exclaimed and started to move to the floor, climbing over Zeus, hitting him in several sensitive places. Finally getting out of the bed, he rushed to the other side and grabbed Hera's arm. "Baby," he grinned.
"Oh, dear," said Hera and rolled her eyes at him. "I'd completely forgotten that you turn into a complete idiot whenever your children get born."
Ares gave her an idiotic smile, "Baby coming!" he said and pulled her arm again.
"Go back to Joxer and I'll get Apollo and meet you there," Hera suggested.
Ares frowned and then shook his head. "Baby. Joxer!" he said stubbornly and continued to pull on Hera's arm.
"You better go with him, dear," Zeus said with a sigh. "If he tries to transport himself back to Joxer, he's bound to get lost. I'll get Apollo for you."
"You're right," Hera said and went up and dressed herself with a thought. "Come on, Ares, let's go." She grabbed her son's arm with one hand and an old scruffy bag with the other, and they disappeared in a deep blue purple flash, leaving a slowly dissolving image of a peacock feather.
Zeus watched the feather disappear, then went up and got dressed. It would take a lot of time to wake Apollo up before daybreak.
*******************
They appeared in Ares and Joxer's bedroom. Joxer was laying in the bed, moaning and huffing, obviously in pain.
"Joxer!" Ares gasped and hurried to his husband's side. He gathered Joxer in his arms and hugged him. "You're hurting!"
"Let go of me, you big lout!" Joxer hissed. "I need to lay down on my back!"
Ares reluctantly put Joxer down on the bed and took his lover's hand in his.
Hera put a hand on Joxer's stomach, "I think the contraction is soon over now," she said.
Joxer nodded and seemed to relax, "Yes, it just stopped. Help me get the baby *out*. It hurts! I don't want to do this anymore," he whined.
"My poor baby!" Ares said and gently stroked his hair. He turned to Hera, "Mother?"
"I'm sorry, Joxer. But you have to hold on for a while. Until we know if you can do this naturally or not. You see, you never know that until the birth when it comes to male gods having children."
"You mean I might have to do this the natural way?!" Joxer shouted incredulously. "But labor can go on for hours!"
Hera smiled and nodded, "Yes it can. Having a baby takes a lot of suffering and hard work. It's kinda Mother Nature's way of making sure we appreciate them when the work's finally done."
Joxer gasped as another contraction began, "Screw Mother Nature! I want this to stop!"
Ares produced a wet cloth and wiped off Joxer's forehead, "Don't worry, my love. Everything's going to be alright," he cooed.
"Don't 'my love' me!" Joxer sneered. "This is all your fault. Well, I hope you enjoyed it while it lasted, cause we're never having sex again. Ever!" Then he moaned, "Damn it hurts!"
Apollo appeared in the room waiving a bag around, "I heard we're getting a new little one." He searched around in the bag for a while and finally came up with a sharp knife. "I thought it would be good to find this now incase we have to cut you up later," he told Joxer cheerfully.
Joxer paled and moaned.
Ares left his place by Joxer's side and grabbed Apollo by the throat and shoved him up against the wall. "Don't even *think* about cutting into my Joxer!" he growled.
Hera moved from the chair she'd been sitting in; and patted Ares' arm, still holding Apollo by the throat. "There, there," she said comfortingly. "Calm down, Ares. I think you do more harm than good in here at the moment. Why don't you find me something very important that I'll need later and let Apollo and me help Joxer? We *do* have some experience, you know."
Ares reluctantly let go of Apollo who gasped for air and fell into a heap on the floor. "You won't hurt Joxer?" he asked.
"We won't hurt Joxer," Hera said calmly.
Ares pouted, "Promise?"
"I promise."
"OK. What do you need?"
Hera smiled, "I need you to boil some water."
Ares stared at her blankly.
"I think there's a cauldron you can use next to the hearth in your common room," Hera added helpfully.
"Boiling water will help Joxer?" Ares asked.
"Yes, immensely," Hera nodded.
Ares nodded back seriously, "You can count on me, mother. I will boil water. That will help Joxer and Baby. I won't let you down. I will boil the ocean if I have to!"
"Oh, please don't," Hera said hastily, knowing very well her son's brain had gone for a holiday and probably wouldn't be back until the baby was born. "It can't be salt water, and Poseidon would get very upset. Just boil some water the traditional way."
Ares nodded solemnly, "I will boil water the traditional way." He gave Joxer a gentle kiss on the cheek and left the room. He had an almost fanatical gleam in his eye and just before he left, he mumbled "Boiling. Water," for himself.
Hera let out a relieved sigh, "Finally." She rolled up her sleeves, "Now, we can get something done!" She looked at Apollo, "What are you still doing on the floor? Get up! There's work to be done. A baby usually doesn't deliver itself. That's so uncivilized."
****************
Ares looked at the black cauldron and lifted his hand to will water into it. He hesitated. Hera said to do this the traditional way. The mortal way. Mortals couldn't make water appear at will. Maybe willing the water into existence would damage some important part Joxer would need later? Not wanting to take any chances, he decided to do everything the mortal way. And that meant he had to find water.
Ares pondered about it for a minute, then grinned and said out loud, "The fountain!" He grabbed the cauldron and ran out to the garden. Almost knocking down Asclepius on the way out.
Arriving at the fountain, he frowned. Exactly how much water would Hera need to what ever it was she needed the water for? He bit his lip. Joxer was at stake here, best not to take any chances. Better too much water than too little. He filled the cauldron to the rim.
Back at the hearth fire he hanged the cauldron over the fire and sat down and waited.
And waited.
And waited.
Growing frustrated, he finally growled, "Boil, damn it!"
The water still didn't boil. Like all hearth fires on Olympus, this one was kept alive by Hestia. Never going out and never lacking fuel. But hardly used, since it was always easier to just make food appear out of thin air than actually use the hearth for cooking. But maybe the fire wasn't big enough to heat up all that water; maybe he needed to put more fuel in the fire? But he couldn't just materialize a couple of wood logs. He had to do this the traditional way. Now, where could he find some wood?
When Cupid and Strife arrived in the Hall of War, they found Ares cheerfully trashing several chairs into neat, perfect pieces while humming to himself.
"Uh, Dad? What in Tartarus are you doing?" Cupid asked, a bit afraid of the answer.
Ares grinned at him, "Joxer's having my baby," he said dreamily.
Cupid nodded, "I know. Grandpa Zeus told me. But why are you destroying the chairs?"
"Why?" Ares huffed. What a stupid question! "To get Hera the boiled water of course!" He huffed again. Obviously Cupid had inherited his mother's mind. "Why?!" he muttered to himself and shook his head.
Cupid just stared at him.
Strife looked from the hearth and the cauldron to the pieces of wood. "Oh, you're trying to get the water to boil?" he asked.
Ares gave him a brilliant smile. Now, here was someone who'd gotten his brains from Ares' side of the family! "Yes!"
Strife gave him a calculating grin, "But why mess up tha chairs when you have plenty of wood in the garden?"
Ares gasped; the boy was a genius! He grabbed a hold of Strife and hugged him tightly. "Thank you!" he said and gave his nephew a kiss on the cheek before producing a huge axe, (the axe wouldn't come near the boiling water, after all) and then dashing through the door out into the garden, hunting for appropriate trees.
Cupid shook his head; "Dad's really lost it this time. And you will be in so much trouble if Hera finds out you put him up to cutting down trees in the garden. She designed that garden for him you know."
Strife grinned, "Oh, it was about choosing the lesser evil. Gaea decorated this room as a present for Ares and Jox' weddin'."
Cupid shuddered, "Good thing you got him to go for the trees before he destroyed the couch."
The couple sat down on said couch, snuggled tightly together, and waited.
******************
Ares leaned on the axe and looked satisfied at the formally huge oak, now chopped into little pieces. Maybe this was enough wood for the fire?
A gentle touch on his shoulder made him jump. Hephaestus looked down on him with a smile on his lips. "It's over now, Ares. You've become a father again."
Ares just stared at his brother, "Joxer had the baby?" he gasped.
"Yes," Heph nodded, still smiling with joy. "They're both fine, but missing you."
Ares pulled him in for a quick hug, and then ran to the bedroom. The axe and the wood completely forgotten.
Ignoring the others, (who where silently leaving the room, giving the new little family some privacy) not even realizing they were there, Ares focused on Joxer. Joxer was still laying in the bed, but looking a lot better. Tired but happy. Looking at Ares, his eyes shone with joy and love.
"Hello, Ares, my love." He said, smiling happily and held up the little bundle he'd been holding against his chest, "Your new son want's to meet you. Say hello to Arion."
Ares gently took his son. "We're naming him Arion?" he asked.
Joxer nodded, "He looks like an Arion. And after what I just went through, *I* get to chose his name."
The war god gave his spouse a smile and sat down on the bed next to him and snuggled in as close as he could while still holding Arion. "I like Arion," he said. "It has character." He gave Joxer a gentle kiss on the cheek. "Like yours."
Joxer sighed and leaned his head on Ares' shoulder, "He's perfect, isn't he?"
Ares nodded, "Absolutely perfect." He smiled when he realized that Joxer had fallen asleep. Good, he needed the rest.
Ares cooed at the baby in his arms. Surely this was the most beautiful, extraordinary baby in the world. He smiled at the thought, he'd felt the same for all his children. Those he'd seen as babies, anyway.
But Arion was special. A meld of Joxer and himself. Ares' raven hair, Joxer's smile, and eyes of exactly the same blue as the Chaos stone. Luckily Arion had ended up with Ares' nose instead of Joxer's. As far as Ares was concerned, Arion could easily fit the role as God of Perfection.
He traced the child's cheek with a finger. "You're so little," he murmured, "And already you've captured my heart completely."
Life was perfect.
THE END
A/N: Countdown to Chaos was supposed to be much longer, but when I, during a hard writers block, went over it again, I realized I was writing two stories. So this is where Countdown ends. The continuation is on it's way. It's called Chaos in Corinth, and will be posted here on ff-net as a WiP as long as it doesn't turn into a NC-17 fic. Several parts are already written. But since they where supposed to be a part of *this* story, I want to go through them again to see if I need to add something before I post them. If anyone is curious, you will soon find Chaos in Corinth at my site, http://kristias_corner.tripod.com