Disclaimer: Not mine, no money, don't sue.

For further warnings, see part 1

Also: We do not own Grandia (excellent video game BTW, tons of cool plot!), nor do we own Slayers (Tho we blatantly abuse their character's names…), or Record of Lodoss War, Tolkien's stories, or Square's Final Fantasy Series (But we love creative and varied Fantasy stories and borrow bits and pieces…) A Midsummer Night's Dream or Fushigi Yuugi (Yet we're not above bastardizing their characters…) nor Ranma 1/2, The Neverending Story, (we try to be original sometimes), Haunted Junction, Saber Marionette J, Buffy The Vampire Slayer, Mercedes Lackey's Last Herald Mage Series, Broken Sky, and of course, Digimon Adventure, are all copyrighted to their respective owners! ^_~ We hope you owners enjoyed making your characters as much as we like parodying them! ^_~

Minor OOC/Bastardizing Warning: All the Digimon characters used in this fanfiction/parody received super-enhanced character flaws/attributes to emphasize their coolness/hilarity, such as Yama's anger times tenfold, Koushirou's arrogance/shyness is a bit more obvious, and Taichi's thick-headedness is thru the roof so we can add humor, so just have fun and try not to take the funny parts too seriously, ne? But you already knew that, right? ^_~

34. ^..^ QUEEN KARI

"Oh my God…" The words were little more then a wispy sigh, fallen almost carelessly from my lips. There was a nervous shuffling, and I let my eyes flicker open once again, and with an inarticulate gesture, bade the messenger before me to speak.

"Q-queen Kari…T-the regiment at the Northeast corner is...is requesting…"

"Reinforcements?" I sighed again, my brow furrowing. Days, this had gone on, endlessly. What demon possessed that archaic alchemist, to drive his men without sleep, unfailingly towards the demise of my castle? The sheer weight of responsibility to the people…my people… in this time of crisis alone seemed to bow my shoulders, but to also inspire and lead the poor soldiers who had to combat the invading force..? Fatigue had become a hard, steely knot in the pit of my stomach, weighing me down and dulling my thoughts. Was this how every ruler commanded their countrymen? "I've sent all that can be spared. I am so sorry. Have you weapons enough?"

The man before me seemed almost as disheartened as I. His jaw tightened a moment, protest to a weary sigh. He gave a curt shake of his head, mouth thinning to a grim line. "It's not weapons we're lacking, 'nor oil, but men. Not enough of us to watch their movements and stop them all at once."

I gave a brief nod and waved my hand, sinking back into the throne, warding off the lurking shadow of sleep. Sleep…Sleep and dreams. Dreams in turn would be invaded by nightmares, certainly…And the grim reality and suffering would forever be better than mysterious figures, scarring images, the icy stab of fear before-

"Highness!!"

I straitened, steeling myself, and allowed my gaze to again flicker up. More requests, more shortages, demands, pleas… Another armor-clad, out-of-breath soldier, thin and haggard, but with real fear pinching his face, widening his eyes. "Majesty, Corporal Amelia has reported a breach of the moat!! She's directing the troops from the balcony outside the armory, but we're having some troubles!"

It was obvious Joe didn't intend to back down. I ground my teeth, my mouth and throat suddenly dry, and pushed myself up from the throne, though it took an effort. Stepping forward, choking down nausea at the prospects and possibilities that grinned and leered maliciously at me from behind their demonic eyes of death and destruction and betrayal, I faced the nameless man that had brought the news of this failing.

"Take me to the Corporal," I told him in a stern voice and followed the man toward the battle's hotspot. Joe's troops seemed to be scaling the castle to get at our officers. There, I saw the wonderful Corporal Amelia herself in action.

"EEK! WATCH OUT! NO! NOT THAT! OH MY!" the girl screeched.

I sighed and bowed my head in frustration, "Hey… Why is there a CORPORAL in charge of my army?"

The man whom I followed to the battle lowered his head, "Well… you see, Your Majesty, she's the highest-ranking officer we have here…" he kind of shivered as he told me the news.

I shuddered, too, more in anger than anything else however, "WHAT!? How is this so?! Where are all our Lieutenants? And our Sergeants?!?!  WHERE'S THE CAPTAIN!?!?" I was slightly upset by the news.

The man shivered again, it must not be fun to be the messenger of bad news, "Umm… you see… Your Majesty has sent the Captain away on a mission to save the Duchess and he has yet to return. And as for Sergeant Miyako, she's away on holiday. But even worse, Lieutenant Daisuke was in the Duchy when the evil alchemist Joe began his hostile takeover."

I nodded calmly, "I see…"

"OH NO! NOT WITH A BLUNT SWORD!!!" Corporal Amelia shrieked from her post at my troops.

That was my breaking point, I turned to the messenger, "Tell everyone this, 'FROM HERE ON OUT, *I* WILL BE DIRECTING THIS BATTLE!"

To which he replied, "YES MA'AM!"

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35. ^_^!! TAKERU

"YES MA'AM!" I called politely to Mimi-san. I had been appointed her attendant for the moment.

"Well, just be sure to hurry up, the concert must be perfect for my performance!" Mimi-san, the bardess, had really gotten quite into the idea of singing to summon the ::shudder:: racing Seadras.

Racing Seadras just happen to be our mode of transportation to reach the Castle in time. They are extremely fast and will get us there in less than a chapter's time! Isn't that wonderful? However, racing Seadras are temperamental little buggers, and to summon one, much less control it, requires the aid of a Songstress. A Songstress, as I have been told, is someone who can sing so well, that they can weave magic into their voice with the aid of a spell. We figured Mimi could pull it off, so we scoured the castle in search of the spell's components. My brother and I also found Lieutenant Daisuke hiding in a broom closet from the recent battle.

As it turns out, the people of the duchy had often had to perform the ritual for summoning and controlling racing Seadras. So there was already a room and all the components all ready to be set up. Consequently, the components consisted of a stage, frilly decorations, a karaoke machine, and a disco ball. All of which were magically enchanted, of course. Oh, *of course*, I thought, after hearing Duchess Takenouchi's explanation.

To add to my troubles, being Mimi's attendant meant setting up the stage area for the 'concert' that was to be held.

I muttered under my breath, "Whoever stuck me with this job is gonna get it…"

It took nearly an hour, but finally we, or rather, I, had the streamers, lanterns, cocktail entrées, and the like set in the appropriate places (according to Mimi-san's instruction. You'd be amazed how many times a woman can change her mind when you're carrying a table…) The Duke and his wife sat at a table near the stage sharing a margarita. Wizard Izumi, my brother and myself had settled into a table to the right of them. Little Pata rested on the table itself, and I stroked his batwing-like ears.

I sighed, fixing my blonde mop as I relaxed a bit after all my hard labor setting the place up, and leaned back to try and get comfortable in the chair. I supposed that was when the 'ritual' began, the light dimmed, the glittering ball lowered, splashing specks of color around the room, and disco music struck up from some unseen source. I didn't think too much of it, this place was odd to begin with.

Not too long into the song, I realized that Mimi-san really did have a beautiful voice. It seemed to resonate throughout the room and penetrate your senses.

Needless to say, I was in awe.

I looked to Koushirou-san and my brother, curious to see if they had a similar reaction.

I wasn't surprised to see Wizard Izumi totally and completely enwrapped in Mimi-san's performance. He had his elbows propped up on the table holding his chin in his hands with an odd grin on his face. Koushirou-san very obviously had a thing for Mimi-san…

However I did a double take to see my brother doing the same.

I started to ponder this turn of events but my train of thought was promptly derailed when the music came to a crescendo, suddenly dropped out, and Mimi-san whispered "I wish" into the unexpected silence. She finished with a little bow that ruffled her light bardess outfit and made her honey-colored hair cascade down her shoulders.

There was a loud applause, and I turned to see that everyone who was in the nearby town had heard the music and came for the free concert. I wished I had thought to charge for all the hard work that I put into this little pop music festival. However, I had little time to pursue that thought when the ground the building was perched upon decided to shake.

Rubble and concrete erupted into the air as, all around us, the duchy crumbled to dust. Masonry cracked and was torn asunder…

…As the racing Seadras leapt from what used to be the Duchy walls!?!? And gave Mimi-san a standing ovation. (if you could call it standing…)

 "Hey, Babe! Wanna go for a ride?!" The seadras called clapping and whistling at the baffled Bardess.

At first Mimi-san seemed a bit appalled by their lewd behavior, but then she thought about it for a second and replied with a winning smile, "Of course, that's what we wanted, right?"

And then I fainted.

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36. ~_~ YAMATO

I was sick. Nauseated? Yes. Scared in the pit of my stomach? Also, yes. Flying through air and mist on the back of a high-speed water-beast of burden? Hell yes! But was that why I was sick? No.

Look at them, I thought bitterly. How can she be so CALM and HAPPY next to *him?* I mean, look at him, he's just some scrawny mage… Albeit, a very powerful and sardonic mage who wouldn't hesitate to rearrange the cosmos if it was called for, but a scrawny, no-talent mage none-the-less. At least, that's how it felt.

Koushirou Izumi, auburn-haired, kind of short, dark eyes, skinny, and loaded with ten fingers' worth of phenomenal cosmic power! He was being hugged tightly by the eye-catching bardess, Mimi, the object of my affection. This did not bode well with my ego. In fact, we were having some serious debate about this issue, and my ego and I decided there was only one thing to do: complain until we thought of something!

So we decided to complain about the one thing, other than Mimi, which stood out at me like a glaring pink penguin flying amongst the clouds of a bad acid trip: the racing seadras.

"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!~!!" I continued to scream in a panicked and shrill voice that somehow managed to sound cool because I was still trying to impress Mimi.

(A/N: Sure Yama, keep telling yourself that… ^_~ )

I clutched for dear life to the precariously thin reins, which encircled the sea dragon's neck and mouth. The mount bucked horribly as it bounced along like an overly-enthusiastic eel, snaking and porpoise-ing its way down the insanely choppy river. I hate water, I thought as the scenery around me went blazing past in a whirr of colors, mostly green, though speckled with houses and mills. At least, I THINK they were mills and houses, I was too sick with nausea and envy to make out the distorted world, especially from the back of the speedy sea-dragon. Mist sprayed my face and pale hair, and I shivered from the offensive substance. Water… it destroys me.

I think I fainted a few times… But never mind that, Takeru was unconscious the whole time, (it was the only way to coax him on the seadras, not that I was much better…) the Duke Kamiya was happily enjoying the ride, of course… And our happy couple were in front of me, so I couldn't make out their expressions, but I suspect they were doing something annoying cute and romantic… (like they have for the last couple chapters). I rolled my eyes (consciously, this time) at the thought.

Finally, and I mean FINALLY, FINALLY, we arrived in the general vicinity of Queen Kari's castle. I supposed that was good enough, considering the entire area was littered with battling soldiers, wounded soldiers, not-so-wounded soldiers, and well, arrows.

I groaned, trying to rid myself of the green complexion I had acquired on our aquatic journey. The world soon stopped spinning, thankfully, and I *carefully* descended from the seadra (fell off unceremoniously) onto the shore. Where I proceeded to prepare for battle, a. k. a. puked my guts out.

Koushirou descended from his mount, followed by Mimi, who came over to release my brother from his mount. Little Pata fluttered over the blonde boy's groggy form, flapping some air on the poor kid's face. After finishing my "battle preparations," I turned to my friends and Duke Kamiya. "Well, so, here's where things get fun…"

"FUN? OOOH, will there be CLOWNS?!" Duke Kamiya asked with wide-eyes.

I shook with rage that I could barely contain, what could POSSIBLY drive a person to be so STUPID?! I tried to calm myself, he's just kidding, he's just kidding, he MUST be! He's royalty, no killing… NO KILLING! "Someone… keep me from strangling him," I muttered in a monotone voice.

Mimi placed a calming hand on my shoulder. I felt one last surge of anger (or something), then it subsided, I had more important things to worry about now besides Mimi… I mean, the Duke.

"Okay," I said, taking a deep breath and organizing my thoughts, "We need to find away around all the fighting and into the castle."

Mimi giggled to herself and stage-whispered to Koushirou, "Isn't it amazing how he can go from 'frightened screaming lunatic' to 'all business soldier boy' in a matter of heart beats?"

The auburn-haired wizard smiled but otherwise ignored the comment. "We must reach the Queen before Joe has the chance." He seemed to hesitate for a moment then said," I can teleport myself and maybe one other into the palace itself."

I quickly played out the possibilities in my mind.

Option A: He takes me, I take control of the army, he saves Queen Kari, everything works out fine.

Option B: He takes Takeru, Takeru BRAVELY volunteers to save Queen Kari himself, Koushirou casts big-ass spell, everything turns out fine.

Option C: He takes Mimi, the two of them are alone in the castle, the two come up with some brilliant plan and are all cute and romantic afterwards, Mimi saves Queen Kari, I kill Koushirou, everything turns out *just* fine!

Option D: He takes The Duke; we all die painfully and go the hell in a gilded carriage with purple cushions.

After giving it some serious thought, I begrudgingly decided that it would be best if *I* went with Koushirou and voiced my opinion to him.

"I don't know," Mimi muttered, worrying a lock of her honey-colored hair with her mouth, she turned to Koushirou, "Are you up to taking two people that far?"

He flushed at the concern in her tone, almost the same shade as his hair, "I'm sure I'll be fine. I haven't done any heavy magic in days, I'm sure I can handle a simple transportation spell."

The Bardess looked doubtful, but relented in any case.

"Right. So Wizard Izumi and I will infiltrate the castle the easy way, hunt down the Queen and see if we can try and take hold of the situation. Takeru, I want you to find the escape route that leads out of the palace. Find it and get in that way. All right?"

My brother smiled weakly at me in an attempt to show his 'eagerness' at his given assignment. He seemed very distracted and uneasy about something. Come to think of it. He hadn't uttered so much as a sigh since we landed on shore. His eyes had been completely fixated on his boots throughout the entire conversation. He shuffled nervously and refused to meet my gaze. Something was definitely wrong. Or he could just be jittery about the up and coming battle.

I filed the information away for later and returned to the matter at hand. I could ponder the complexities of my younger brother later. Right now, I had a Kingdom to save. Walking over to my carriage, the Wizard Izumi himself, I placed a hand on his shoulder, "Let's go."

He took a deep breath, his auburn hair fell into his face, "I need you to concentrate on a location you are particularly familiar with. If I just teleport in there on my own, dragging someone along, it will most likely result in my being drained again, which won't do us any good now."

A room I'm familiar with? Hmmm. Well there's the courtiers' hall…

"Keep in mind that I had to have been there more than once myself," he reminded.

The kitchen it is. And I communicated this to him. He closed his eyes and I followed suit.

I began to picture the oversized kitchen with as much detail as I could. From the mason walls to the wooden washtubs piled high with soapy dishes. The stone floors neatly swept, bright sunlight pouring in to fill the massive chamber with a cheery glow. Whoever had designed the kitchen must have done his fair share of scullery duty. The counters, island tables, and cabinets were all set within easy reach for the ultimate convenience. The head cook never had anything to complain about when it came to the geography. Windows and lanterns along the wall ensured good lighting for working whether day or night.

Needless to say, I'd been there quite a few times in my youth with dishpan hands.

The sulfuric scent of mage magic wafted across my face. Even though I was expecting it, I still winced. It was so strong, it burned my sinuses and made my eyes water. I fanned myself trying to clear some of the air so I could breathe. It was useless of course, but after a moment, the stench weakened.

I blinked the tears from my eyes to find myself standing in a deserted kitchen with Wizard Izumi at my side.

"I don't get it," I coughed, "How can you possibly travel like that? Any longer distance and I'd have suffocated."

"Much to my advantage, I don't have quite so potent a magic sense. I simply have a notion of its involvement. It doesn't assault my physical person." He stared pointedly at my raw red eyes and white hair.

"Lucky you," I muttered darkly, still hacking," And leave the hair out of this," I brushed the white locks out of my face, almost defensively.

He gave me an odd glance with those dark eyes of his, but before I could read it he turned away and strode towards the double doors exiting the kitchen. After glaring a hole into his cloaked back I straightened and followed suit.

"So, we're in," he stated when I caught up to him, "Now we have to go about finding the Queen."

"Well, you're the wizard here, can't you think of something?" I spat, anxious.

Koushirou eyed me, "I'm working on it, why don't YOU come up with a brilliant plan, Captain?" he retorted.

"The plan was that I'm supposed to take control of the army, it's YOUR job to save the Queen…" I glared daggers at him, "…so you might want to hurry it up," I turned from him and sped up my pace so that I walked ahead of him in the narrow passageway we were traveling in, the light of torches glinted off my sword.

Koushirou scoffed, "Isn't it a knight's duty to protect his Queen? What happened to chivalry, Sir Knight?" The wizard sounded genuinely angry now, as the familiar sardonic edge crept into his voice.

He was right, of course, I WAS supposed to protect my Queen, "But it's also a knight's duty to protect his Queen's castle and country, or did YOU forget that?" I snapped.

Koushirou stopped suddenly. Taken off guard, I halted and turned to look at him, "What is WRONG WITH YOU!?" he shouted in a mannerism that was unlike him. I hadn't really heard him raise his voice in anger before, except for maybe when the Duke did something stupid, but he just has that effect on everyone.

That's when it hit me; I was having the same effect on Koushirou as the Duke has on anyone he comes in contact with. I shuddered at the thought of being even comparably close to as irritating as Kamiya was. I wanted to shout an apology, but instead, my anger got the better of me, "YOU REALLY WANNA KNOW, IZUMI?" I shouted, "_You_. You're my problem, YOU'RE what's 'wrong with me.'"

Koushirou looked taken aback, and I felt a smug pride from eliciting the reaction. Izumi's surprise didn't last long however. He shot back, "I'M YOUR PROBLEM?! Why? Is it because you're jealous that for once your 'wonderful appearance' didn't get you any special attention from a certain female member of our friends?" His snide tone told me he'd meant to sting me.

And it did. "I don't know what she sees in you ANYWAY!" I announced angrily, "Why would she want some short skinny little KID?!" I fumed.

"Maybe because it's better than dealing with an egocentric pretty-boy JACKASS?!" Koushirou hissed.

"I…!" I faltered and stopped.

Koushirou gave me a piercing, disgusted black-eyed glare. Then I realized it, he was right. The perceptive little bastard was right. I was undeniably hip-deep in unadulterated, unchecked, bitter, green-eyed envy. I had NEVER had any trouble winning a lady's heart before. It was tearing me apart that Mimi wouldn't even pass a glance my way. It probably wasn't even the fact that it was Mimi, just the fact that ANY girl would be able to ignore me so…

I groaned and leaned against the stone wall with my face in my hands. 

My pride and ego had been getting the better of me. And (of course) it resulted in me making a complete fool of myself. I was acting like a spoiled child. I should be happy for Koushirou, not wishing he'd fall to an untimely bloody death.

After a moment of berating myself, I looked up and met Koushirou's piercing gaze. He still looked like he would break out a can of magical whoop-ass on me. I sighed, then muttered, "I'm sorry."

For the third time in this heated debate, Koushirou was taken aback, "Wh-what?" His angry stare gone, a confused tone in his voice, "You're _sorry_?"

I tried to be indignant, "Yes, I'm sorry, I've been a jerk; a stupid, envious, quick-tempered jerk."

"You forgot thick-headed," the wizard added in a joking tone.

I rolled my eyes and crossed my arms, "Yes, yes, that too…" I strained a bit, "I hope you and Mimi are happy…"

Koushirou blushed (he does that a lot!). "U-uhh… Thanks" he muttered.

Snapping, I changed the subject, "Now, to save this place!"

"Affirmative," Koushirou agreed, adjusting his cloak into readiness, "Where do we start?"

"Well, I would say the armory would be a good place to search. If I know the Queen, and I do, I just know Her Majesty would take the front on something like this, she can't stand that Joe guy, either," I added.

"You're right, and knowing evil alchemist Joe, he would use that to his advantage and somehow manage to drug her or attack her from behind or cheat off of her test… errr, well, he always did that to me back when we were in Wizarding school," Koushirou commented sheepishly at the end.

I gave him a quick glance before turning, "To the armory?" I asked.

"To the armory," he confirmed, and the both of us raced down the torch-lit hallway.

Running at full speed, I dashed up the stair well to two floors above and passed several rooms filled with brightly-colored tapestries or refugees seeking shelter from the war inside the more-protected castle walls. I looked back to see if Koushirou was keeping pace, and surprisingly, the short guy was just a bit behind me. Turning into an empty soldiers' bunker, I raced through the room, keeping my sword from catching on anything, and through an open door at the other end of it. It led to the hall just a bit from the armory, where sounds of a battle could be heard. I slowed my pace as I exited the door and heard the flutter of Koushirou's cloak as he followed me. Nearing the armory's big double-doors, I could hear the fall and clash of swords, telling me the room was under attack. However, I also heard the high-pitched yells of Corporal Amelia Sailune, who seemed to be directing our army.

"Did all of our other officers just DIE?" I muttered, "Why's SHE in charge?"

"No time," Koushirou shouted suddenly, and threw out his arms and faced his palms towards the heavy double doors. I caught a whiff of the sulfuric smell of the mage arts, then, "GLAIVE WINDS!" A burst of strong, hurricane-force air currents erupted from his form and the doors flew open with a resounding 'THUD'."

I smirked, "Nice entrance," I commented and dashed into armory room, leaving Koushirou to catch his breath. The scene was total chaos, everywhere, soldiers from both armies slashed and stabbed at one another's chain mail-armored forms. There seemed to be more of our soldiers for the time being. But as my gaze wandered to the large balcony just beyond the opened gate that normally separated it from the armory, I saw more pronged hooks catching its ledge, with enemy soldiers pulling themselves onto the balcony one after another. Even with men scurrying up and down the balcony, cutting the ropes free of their hold, still, they came.

"What could Joe be using to drive them to attack their own kingdom with such force? Is he using some weird alchemist concoction?" I said aloud to no one.

(A/N: Nope, good old-fashioned American dollars seem to do the trick just fine! ^_~)

That's about the time I spotted Corporal Amelia.

"YOU BIG MEANIE! YOU'LL NEVER HEAR THE END OF THIS!" She shouted out over the balcony at some soldier down on the ground where an even bigger battle took place.

Two or three soldiers from our side defended her back as she screamed useless orders at the ground troops.

"THIS IS _NOT_ JUSTICE!" she screeched and then took off one of her shoes and chucked it at someone down below.

I groaned…

"I *GOT* HIM!" She cried happily.

That's it, "CORPORAL AMELIA WIL TESLA SAILUNE!" I shouted in my deepest booming voice of command.

She 'eep'ed and stood straight at attention in reflex, her hand coming up to salute without any real reason. She turned to look at me, blinking in shock, "Captain!?" Then, more belatedly, "CAPTAIN! THANK THE GODS YOU'RE HERE! You see, I could use just a teensy bit of help, we're outnumbered, and um… well…"

I stared down at the massacre on the ground, "Just a little help, huh?" I said sarcastically, "Go back into the armory and fight something, if I need you, I'll call you, okay?"

She nodded and ran enthusiastically into the fray behind me, where I could only hope she died a brave and noble death. By the GODS, I hope! I trailed my eyes into the room for a glimpse of how Koushirou was fairing, but I could only barely make out an auburn-haired figure near the east corner of the weapon-strewn armory, and hoped that he and the Queen would be okay.

Turning back, I stood proudly at the balcony and flashed my sword quickly to the left, severing a rope that sent two enemy troops careening down the side of the castle into the moat. I spared a quick survey around the battlefield for my brother and the others. I hoped he wasn't having any troubles, but with the Duke around him, that didn't seem likely. I wondered why he seemed so distant when I asked him to search for the entrance into the castle. Then I wondered why he seemed so distant from me in general. I thought maybe it was because we had never been involved in such a big event as this, but we'd been through some uneasy situations before. However, unlike those times before, the blonde boy was starting to grow away from me, it felt. Takeru was growing up quickly, but that didn't explain my brother's reluctance to fight when I needed him. I could depend on him, though, I decided. Sighing, I brushed my still-white locks away from my eyes and mustered my determination.

Raising my sword, I took my position as captain and called to the troops, "ALRIGHT, I WOULD JUST LIKE TO INFORM ALL OF YOU, I'M BACK AND THE JOURNEY WENT WELL!" I boomed, "THAT ASIDE, LET'S GET THIS *STARTED!!!*"

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