Note: Well… I am sorry this took so long. But first I got stuck debating whether or not to add a certain scene to this chapter (you'll see what I mean) and then Fanfiction.net went down, it came back up for a short duration of time, then went back down before I had a chance to get online and upload. Anyway, please read and review since there's only one chapter left to go after this - and I guarantee that no one (except maybe the Cheshire Kitten) will expect this ending. (Although it may not be a good thing…) Anywho, this chapter is about twice as long as any of previous ones (and the second half isn't proof read) so please read, enjoy, and review! BTW - Special thanks to Cheshire Kitten for letting me bounce ideas off of her.

Chap 10

The Point of No Return

As the end of Ames last day drew near, Max sat calmly in Logan's chair debating which lie she'd thought up was the one Alec would be most likely to believe. In front of her Logan was doing his best to make her dizzy by pacing back and forth across the carpet, something he had been prone to doing since he'd received his exo. "Stop it already!" Max's sudden outburst didn't come as surprise to him, in fact he'd rather been expecting it.

"Sorry." Logan mumbled hastily and pushed his glasses further up the bridge of is nose. "Look I say we tell him the truth - to an extent." The latter was added when Max gave him a particularly lethal look. "We'll say we saw the two of them together last night… at crash… and because of that, there's a good chance that Ames has the conclave watching his place. Following him might mean stepping into a trap." Max didn't answer but looked over his shoulder. When Logan turned to see what she was looking at, he turned a rather unattractive shade of Crimson.

"So - that's why the two of you kept blowing me off about the tracer?" Alec was in a cold anger, and with a shudder Max thought just how much he resembled Ben when he was in a mood like this. "Because you're afraid he's set up a trap? Come on now Max - why don't I believe that?" Logan looked at Max. Max looked at Logan.

"Alec - we've gotten away from the familiars too many times they'll be on their guard - "

"Bullshit! You don't give a crap about things like that. You've walked UNARMED into whole enemy encampments - and you expect me to believe that you're afraid of a set up?" Alec was incredulous - his usual sarcasm coloring his voice. Max was about to shout back at him but Logan choose to step in with his usual bluntness.

"No Alec - we're afraid that Anastasia's one of them." Alec glared at Logan, but the man in the wheelchair did not back down. "You've seen the photo's. Renfro was keeping tabs on her for Sandeman - they probably suspected her. Hell - the Conclave could've been using her to feed them false information -" Alec's face had turned an unhealthy shade of white as Logan spoke. At last, he couldn't stand it any longer and slammed out of the room. Logan and Max exchanged a glance before the latter went after him.

By the time Max reached Alec he was already on his bike, about to turn the engine. "Alec wait!" Alec wanted to charge out of there but Max stood right in front of the bike, and something told him she wasn't backing down. "Just listen a minute! What Logan said - we're not giving up on her completely… we just need to be careful!"

"Careful my ass! You don't know her Max, you - "

"And from what I've heard you don't know her either!" Max and Alec stood head to head, testing wills as much as power. Finally, Alec glanced down.

"Maybe not Max, but I do know Jon. Max, if your brother - Zack - if he believed in something, someone, enough to die for it. Would you be willing to die for it to?" Max wanted to say no, to take the wind out of his sails, but unfortunately she couldn't bring herself to lie. Zack had been their leader, she trusted him with her life. Before he'd been brainwashed she'd probably trusted Zack more than she trusted Logan.

"Yes."

"Well Jon's my equivalent of Zack. My brother, my friend, the one I trust. He died protecting her Max, that's good enough for me." She understood then, she saw through the façade that Manticore had taught him to wear. Max realized that even though she wanted to shove Alec's head down a toilet more than not; he was the same as one of her brothers or sisters.

"Twelve hours. We'll go in for her then." Max pleaded, hoping he'd accept that explanation, Alec only nodded before turning on his bike and flying out of there. This time, Max got out of the way.

***

The little boy's face was open and trusting, yet the sketch was secretive, as if beneath the lines of the pencil there was another child hiding. In Ana's hands it steadily became more lifelike as the winds outside grew fiercer, howling more insistently against the windows. Begging entrance, demanding surrender from those whom ignored it.

Beside Ana a glass of red wine seemed to ripple in time to the almost anguished melodies White played upon the piano in the other room. She understood now that Dave had not been lying to her the previous night, too many of Ames' actions and too many of her own memories told her otherwise. This morning she had taken out the landscape she'd began the previous evening, but rather then finishing it she had stared at it for long questioning moments until at last the lines took color and the raindrops began sliding down the glass window panes.

It was cold and rainy that morning, but not a single person in the small log cabin noticed. Most simply weren't awake, others simply didn't care, in Ana's room the day was warm with the vibrancy of love. Ames' arms clutched her tightly, holding her almost too close for comfort. The still silence of the room was filled with only the sound of raindrops and for a moment she allowed herself to think that this would never change.

"We've broken all the rules." The words were whispered against Ana's ears, the breath that carried them tickling the edge of her neck.

"I don't care." Ana spoke loudly, daring anyone to hear, daring Ames to silence her, daring the conclave to challenge her. His arms settled more comfortably around her, one hand resting comfortably on the gentle softness of her stomach.

For long moments they listened to the rain outside. Both a little scared to break the silence around them, frightened of facing the uncertain future that lay ahead of them, the long fickle years ahead of them. The long many moments and miles that would separate them, the beliefs and challenges that would be forced upon them.

She had thought she didn't care then, that so long as he was beside her she would be all right. Apparently she'd been wrong. She couldn't remember who or what had separated them, couldn't remember what had happened, but something had separated them, caused them to deny each other's existence for twenty odd years. "What are you drawing?" Startled from her reverie, the sketch almost slipped from Ana's hands, behind her Ames had walked into the room and was attempting to glance over her shoulder. As she slid the book shut the picture she had been drawing from fell out. Deftly, Ames caught it before it hit the ground. For a long moment the room was silent as he looked at the photograph, Ames' face grew tight with grief and anger while Ana thought up a probable lie. "Where did you get this?"

"I found it in the study… in the back of a book." White didn't look at Ana, staring hard at the photo. He didn't remember this picture very well; in fact he wasn't sure he'd ever seen it, but then again after the transgenics got out he hadn't been home very much. "Is he your son?" The question sounded ridicules to Ames' ears - who else would he have a photo of? But he reminded himself that she had no idea what his life had been like the last few years, with something akin to guilt he nodded acknowledgment. "And the first two?" Ames remembered well Anastasia's aversion to killing children, remembered that it was the one thing she'd never be able to forgive of the conclave.

"She miscarried." Ana did not ask who 'she' was and he didn't volunteer the information. At that moment a helicopter passed above, flooding the room with light.

You'll remember me when the west wind moves
Upon the fields of barley
You'll forget the sun in his jealous sky
As we walk in fields of gold

The wind that blew Ana's hair away from her face came not from the sky but from the whirling of propeller blades above her head. Dave, Crissy, and the others were already strapped inside the helicopter ready to leave. Sandeman stood by the door, his hand held out to her; trapped in a silent tableau. Ana looked at that hand, but rather then take it she shook her head violently and backed away from the door, motioning for them to move out. "Go damn it!" by some miracle the words reached Sandeman and reluctantly he backed away from the helicopter door; slamming it shut. As they rose into the air Anastasia looked up and gave them one last goodbye signal, wondering if she'd made the right choice. A thud suddenly sounded behind Ana, causing her to turn with surprise, not expecting anyone else to be out here at this time of night.

The door that led to the roof had slammed open and familiars wearing black filed out with guns, most pointed at her some at the retreating helicopter above. The sight shocked her; they had been so sure no one knew of tonight's escape. She ran toward the edge of the roof and was halted in her track by a cold biting voice. "You disappoint me Anastasia… you could've been great." Before her the high priestess emerged in full ceremonial dress, a cool malicious smile graced her face. Her tone made Ana shudder, and unconsciously she backed away. "Now you'll be a memory… after you've told us where the others have gone of course." She reached forward with one arm but Ana hissed and backed away, whatever retort she had meant to give died away on her lips and caused her to stumble backwards. The priestess feigned surprised, looking behind her to see who stood there. "Ah… Ames! I see you've come to watch your game play out." Ana had continued to stumble backwards until she reached the edge of the roof.

"Why?" The word first came out as a whisper, so small that no one heard. "WHY?" The second came out as a strangled sob, loud enough for him to hear. "WHY DID YOU BETRAY US?" By this point Ana screamed, a wild look having entered her eyes, she stepped forward towards the priestess and fearing that look the priestess signaled her men to shoot. Only one bullet hit Ana, but it was enough so that the impact could be seen. The shot had been true, she bleed from her stomach, but Ana kept on walking backwards. "How could you?" Her question was for Ames, he had become the only object in her line of sight. When she reached the roof this time, she didn't stop walking but continued to back away. "How could you?" The words, she knew, were not loud enough for anyone to hear, but in the next moments, the world dropped away from her and everything faded into oblivion.

"Ana?" Ames' hands rested lightly on her arms, his touch warm. In the brief moment that light had flooded the room Ana had fallen deep into a trance, now as she came out of it, something between despair and loathing came into her eyes.

"You betrayed me." Her words didn't register at first - how could they when he had denied their existence for so long? "You betrayed all of us." Very suddenly she pushed him away, causing him to stumble backwards. But he recovered quickly and grabbed her before she could run out of the room, reeling her back into the window seat, miraculously she didn't fall through the glass. Ames didn't understand what was going through Ana's mind, couldn't possibly know that se struggled because her mind was still trapped in the panic of the memory. She tried to struggle out of his grasp as he held her there, but he was the stronger and better trained of the two. Afraid that her struggling might cause him to accidentally throw her out the window, Ames pulled her off of the window seat violently, letting the impact of knocking into the ground hit her full force, stunning her long enough so that he could pin her beneath him. "You let them kill me." It was an odd thing to say - how could they have killed her if she lay here now? Ames heard, but rather then reply he stroked her hair knowing that words would not be enough to apologize to her. He kissed her instead, as if he could with that motion take away the guilt that he had buried years before. Glass had cut into his arm, his blood mixing with the red wine that had spilled from the broken glass, but he didn't notice the wound any more then he dared notice Ana's tears.

In Ana's mind, his kiss was like that bullet hitting her again, another lie spoken by a silver tongue. In her eyes it was the reeling sky that filled her vision as she fell. She felt more confused then ever, she was so sure she loved him but equally sure she hated him. Wondering why, if he'd betrayed her once, he hadn't turned her into the conclave a second time. The image of him appearing behind the priestess that night was seared into her mind. In fact she could still feel the warmth of blood against her side, and it wasn't until a long moment had passed that she registered the blood was not her own but his.

So she took her love
For to gaze awhile
Upon the fields of barley
In his arms she fell as her hair came down
Among the fields of gold

Ana wanted to push him away, to punish him for his betrayals, but like a child she could do little more then cry against his shoulder once he had released her lips and shifted their weight so that he lay on his side instead of on top of her. After many minutes that passed like so many seconds he wiped her tears away and lifted her lips to his own once more. Perhaps to prevent her from speaking, perhaps hoping he could stop her from remembering.

Ames was disgusted with himself for doing what he did now, feeling as if he were manipulating her by trying to distance her from the memory, to make her forget what she had just remembered. Though he tried to deny it, a part of him enjoyed feeling how she needed him to support her weight, to hold her still. Her crying bothered him though, he had always hated making her cry. With his free hand, he began stroking her hair, tangling his fingers in the long black tresses.

Ana knew what he was doing, she remembered too well how he would distract her from her anger and pain with the pleasure of kisses and caresses. Nausea arose in her throat and she wanted badly to shove him out the window behind him, to push him through the shards of glass and watch him fall through the air as he had once watched her plunge from the sky. Yet for some reason, she couldn't move, couldn't make the one small motion required of her. She loathed his deceptions, loathed herself for not having realized sooner just why he had kept her around, yet even so she couldn't push him away, her body welcoming his touch instead. Her heart erasing their past, pushing away the part of her mind that told her she was doing this for the sake of her assignment.

Will you stay with me will you be my love
Among the fields of barley
We'll forget the sun in his jealous sky
As we lie in fields of gold

"Ana?" The small whisper against her ear came as a question, and Ana did not need to wonder what he was asking permission for. To deny him would be easiest, after everything that had happened the word 'no' was what should've come most naturally, but saying no would mean having to deal with the memories that had come for the rest of the night. Saying no would mean being left alone with her thoughts, and tonight thinking was the last thing she wanted to do. Thinking might make her realize that she hadn't been herself for many days, that the time she'd spent in this place, with him, had drained much of the life out of her. That the woman standing here now was a pathetic confused wimp in comparison to the strong calculating one who had stood here three days ago.

Almost reluctantly she nodded into his chest, letting him help her up onto her feet and lead her out of the room. Pushing away all warning bells and common sense, when they came to her door, he paused but she kept on going, stopping at the door to his room. She looked up at him, and he realized that it was a test of trust. She would give him what he wanted - but she needed to know he trusted her. Or at least that's how he interpreted it. Never once did it cross his mind that she was using him to gain entrance to his room. That in her heart of hearts she felt as if she were selling her soul for the safety of the other deflectors. That in her heart she couldn't tell if it was love or desperate loathing that consumed her and made her swallow her pride. Once they were surrounded by the unilluminated tranquility of his room she gently removed his tie, thoughts of strangling him flitting through her mind only briefly. Defeated by the gentleness of his lips and the soft burning feeling left by his hands. The sensations of the flesh burying the screams of her mind. Testing her confusion tolerance.

In the still air there was the gentle breath of night even through the steel walls, the velvet breeze of autumn even trough the closed windows. The heartbeat Ana felt against her own was fast but steady, much like her own. It throbbed against her own pulse, humming through her skin into her blood. In the darkness his eyes bore into her soul, questioning that her forgiveness would come so quickly, drilling through all her deceptions towards her real reasons.

In his eyes the present vanished, the past disappeared and the future ceased to exist. In his eyes she found a loneliness to match her own despair and a love that she had sought and not found many years before. His hands wondered slowly down her body once the dress she'd been wearing fell to the ground. His touch unbearably hot to her icy pale skin, melting away all common sense and logical thought, forcing her mind into a nearly oblivious haze.

See the west wind move like a lover so
Upon the fields of barley
Feel her body rise when you kiss her mouth
Among the fields of gold

The club was crowded, pulsing with the rhythm of music being played too loudly. At the table where she sat, Ana barely noticed. She was laughing at something Crissy had said about her brother, acting flirty with some random human just to annoy Ames who she knew was at the next table. This was training mission; meant to teach them how to keep their cool amongst enemies. Ana didn't see much use the exercise, but she did enjoy the opportunity it offered to loosen up a bit. "I bet you sing like an angel." The complement the human man sitting beside her gave was unwelcome, but it did ring true.

"You'd win." Ana took a sip of drink and turned to Crissy as if to say 'pesky little things aren't they'. The human was taken aback at Ana's lack of modesty and despite all his earlier attentions to her he decided to humble her.

"Really? Do prove it will you?" Everyone looked annoyed at this; they hid it fairly well, picking up cups and the like but Dave noticed and decided to make things a bit more entertaining so as to keep the familiars on task, in character.

"Yeah Ana sing. In fact, I'll bet that little twit sitting next to you $100 that you'll be encored." The human smiled at this, no one had been encored yet, the money was as good as his. He shook Dave's hand to seal it and Ana walked to the stage amidst loud cheering. Faintly she heard Crissy say: "I'll double that bet you made with my brother."

The moment her voice rung out over the speaker system, every familiar in the house, about a hundred in all, turned to look at her in silence. Even a few humans paused for a second to see who had captured such a large amount of attention. At her table, the human looked about and groaned dishing out three hundred dollars even though she was only halfway through the first verse.

Across the room she saw Sandeman sit down besides Ames, she watched them with interest - nearly fudging up a few lyrics in the process. She hoped that Sandeman wouldn't mention that he'd seen her vomit earlier, she'd made up the excuse that she'd drank to much but neither he nor Ames were the type to buy easy explanations. Thinking about this, she began hoping that the waves of nausea she'd felt tonight wouldn't overtake her while she was onstage for all to see - the familiars would insist the priestess see her and there were some things even Ana didn't know how to hide. It bothered her that she couldn't hear their conversation; but she simply hadn't the training to filter out the thousand and one other sounds that filled the cavernous room.

Suddenly she saw Ames start, turning to her with an almost stubborn determination in his eyes. She saw him move his lips in Sandeman's direction, but his gaze stayed locked on her. She could see love there; open adoration and a promise of loyalty that might as well have been spoken and without even seeing herself she knew that an answering promise could be seen in her own gaze.

I never made promises lightly
And there have been some that I've broken
But I swear in the days still left
We'll walk in fields of gold
We'll walk in fields of gold

When Ana awoke she didn't move or cry out, in her ear she could hear Ames' even breathing, against her body his skin served as a searing reminder of what she had done. A silent tear slipped from her eye, showing just how much she despised herself for having manipulated his love the way she had, for greeting the memory of his betrayal with not only regret, bit relief. Using it to justify her actions instead of understanding his. Her dreams that night had been disconcerting fragmented memories that felt like tips of icebergs.

She felt him awaken beside her, but didn't move because she couldn't face him just now. For she feared that at a glance he would unmask her. The human half of her was heartbroken, knowing that she had once loved Ames and that he had chosen to betray her but the familiar side of her was in pain, crying out as much for vengeance as for love. She kept still and after a moment of stroking her hair he seemed to decide to let her sleep and gathered some clothing from his dresser silently closing the door behind him as he walked out. Ana lay still a half an hour more until she was sure that he was gone, then rose on unsteady feet.

In the bathroom she glanced at herself in the mirror, to confused to recognize the face looking back at her. The nauseous feel of her memories returned then, making her unsteady on her feet. Quite suddenly her vision swam away. Replaced by an image of breaking glass and a sensation of falling through the air, seeing only a narrow field of stars above. Unable to control herself she retched into the sink, a quiet unmistakable loathing filling her. She felt low, as if she'd sold some part of herself in order to get what she needed despite the fact that she did in truth love Ames.

Needing to feel cleansed Ana did the next best thing to confession; she took a burning hot shower and then got to work.

Unwilling to touch the clothing she'd worn the previous night, Ana wrapped herself only in a towel as she glanced about Ames bedroom in daylight. Besides the bed there was a large desk, a computer, a place where he kept his pet snakes and the usual false alter hidden behind a bookshelf. The room was decorated in Oak furniture and tones of dark blue and black; it was interesting but unsurprising. She approached the computer and after hacking past its defenses grabbed a zip disk and began copying his hard drive. Riffling through and making note of his papers as the computer did its work.

***

"Now Max!" Alec and Max stood yelling in hushed whispers amongst the lockers of Jam Pony as Original Cindy kept watch.

"No! You said twelve hours damn it - so give me twelve hours." Cindy coughed and Max turned to rifling through the contents of her book bag for a few moments. "And it's only 8:00 AM anyway, we need to be sure he's not home when we go in for her. Or weren't you paying attention in strategic class?"

"Oh that - I was too busy staring at the teachers legs." Max glared at Alec, wondering how he could joke about something like this. "You know - kind of like how Logan stares at yours when your pants are tight." She looked up sharply, realizing that he was just peeved they weren't mobilizing yet.

"Twelve hours is twelve hours Alec. Besides - Ames seventy-two hours aren't up for another forty minutes. It'll do him some good to be nervous for once." Grazing Alec as she walked by him Max picked up a run as if this were a morning like any other. In her life normality was what kept her grounded - even when everything normal was a pretense.

***

Many years have passed since those summer days
Among the fields of barley
See the children run as the sun goes down
Among the fields of gold

Ana stood in front of the mirror in her room, wearing the same dark pants and black turtleneck she had the day of her capture. The disk she'd made was secure in a sealed pocket she'd sewn into the lining of her jacket weeks ago though its presence could not be seen in the slightest.

Her reflection was the same, only the woman in the mirror wasn't the same woman who'd been there a week ago, the strong sensible lady who was sure of her identity and emotions. In her place was girl who'd been buried and forgotten years ago, a pale hallow woman-child whose soul was too deeply scared in too many places.

What she wore now were the only items she'd been able to bring herself to touch. Everything else had broken the frozen calm she'd forced over her mind, brought back the need to remember her past, to find the answers to questions she'd completely forgotten. She had done her task and completed her mission, it was, in essence, time to leave. The past few days had been more then just emotionally draining for her, they had served to remove her from every part of her present reality by shoving her violently into the past. Walking out the front door would bring back a part of herself; yet dimly she remembered the wine glass and bloodstains in the study. Perhaps leaving could wait, for what could one last task hurt?

As she picked up the shards of glass, Ana numbly thought about her sketchbook, debating whether or not to take it with her. Not paying attention, she cut herself on a shard of glass. The blood fell on the photo of Ray, and as Ana sucked at her wound blood roared in her ears, blood soon accompanied by voices. Come with us Ana! You can't change anything by staying! Helicopter lights swept into her vision once more, as did Sandeman's out stretched hand. I have to try. Her own voice this time, she was speaking. I can't leave without knowing what he'd say if only - A sad sort of look from him, an almost heartbroken gaze, followed by a furrowed brow and at last understanding. It wasn't alcohol that made you throw up that night in the club was it? And the nausea you felt during class wasn't from the cadaver… Ana remembered looking at him, confirming his suspicions with her eyes before backing away. Like a broken damn the vanished memories buried truths flooded back into the front of her mind.

The weight of it pressed her down, causing her to fall numbly to the ground, blood still streaming from her hand. "Oh my God." The color drained from her face and neck, her heart seemed almost to stop. "I was pregnant." Blindly she fumbled for the telephone that she knew was somewhere in the room, attached to one of the walls. Automatically dialing the first number that came to mind.


You'll remember me when the west wind moves
Upon the fields of barley
You can tell the sun in his jealous sky
When we walked in fields of gold
When we walked in fields of gold
When we walked in fields of gold

The beeping in the lunchroom bothered Alec - Who wasn't answering their damned beeper? He glanced around at the tables around him, only to find that their occupants were glaring at him. Suddenly, quiet unpleasantly in fact, Alec realized that the beeping was coming from him, but he didn't have a beeper. Yes I do he suddenly remembered the bloody item Jon had pressed into his hands before dying, its her he realized it has to be. Suddenly leaping up Alec ran for a phone, taking careful note of the number and praying that he wasn't too late this time.