Chapter four-
Disclaimer: Cher tried to tackle Naoko-sama in the street. She got sent to jail...we still don't own anything but I got to touch Rafe's ass it was the best second of my life.
Nat's AN: I love Darien *smooch * I don't own him though, damnit... btw I am a brunette not a blonde. *giggles*
Cher: You act blonde...oh I'm not supposed to be in these an's
Jareth grinned evilly as he watched Nat lay unconscious on the cold floor of his oubliette.
"She is quite beautiful," he said aloud as he watched shadows run across her sexy features.
" I find myself quite attracted to her... but..." Jareth paused as he looked through another crystal ball showing Cher burping rapidly after consuming her vegimite and bread.
"There is also Cher"
"They are both extremely tempting, and it would be possible for me to have BOTH of them" Jareth smirked. "But I'm sure they would be killing each other over me, so I must pick one." Jareth frowned and stared at Cher, who was now occupied in picking out a wedgie.
"I feel a weird closeness to Cher... I feel a bond between us... and she proberly knows a lot more slutty tricks than Nat does. I'm finding it a lot harder to resist her offerings."
Looking smug Jareth turned his attention back to Nat who was slowly awakening. "I think it's time to go visit Nat...after all, I WAS supposed to take her back to the castle, not let her run around by herself. Besides, maybe I can find out some things about Cher."
Jareth chuckled and with a flick of his wrist, disappeared into a cloud of glitter.
*********
Darien, the tuxedo clad figure took of his mask and wiped the sweat from his forehead, his sexy blue eyes taking in his surroundings. Mountains of garbage were spread as far as his extremely sexy blue eyes could see. Jumping off the labyrinth wall, Darien walked slowly towards the garbage, trying to see his way through all the mess.
"Where the hell am I?" Darien thought, "I must save my Natsua before it is too late... but how am I going to get through all of this crap."
Suddenly, Darien heard a clattering noise to his left, and saw a large pile of rubbish moving. Swiftly, he advanced towards the mass, but froze when it turned around.
"Oh my god" Darien thought "That's not a junk pile... that's a woman!"
A face in the middle of the rubbish smiled and licked it's dry lips.
"Oh my my my, it looks like I have found the best treasure today haven't I?"
Darien cringed at the sight of the beast woman, her hideous face contorted, her fat little body shaking beneath her raggy dress, and the mountains of rubbish sitting on her back.
"I am Tuxedo Mask, and I am here to save my Natsua. Tell me your name demon." The beast's eyes lit up at the sound of his extremely sexy voice.
"Oh you sound even better than you look don't you hmmmmm? You my sexy little junk find are standing in MY part of the labyrinth. I am the junk lady and this is my kingdom."
Darien clenched his jaw " Tell me, how do I find my Natsua? Please you must tell me."
The junk lady sighed "Look forget about this Natsua girl, she might have fallen in the bog of eternal stench for all you know, and she will smell like cat shit forever. Look at me Tuxey baby. I'm more woman than you ever need."
Darien's hot blue eyes widened in horror "My patience is growing thin. You best...."
The junk lady interrupted Darien "Don't be all prudish baby, you're just uptight because you haven't been getting any... come on I can help you out, even The Goblin King has come to me for some help, if you know what I mean." The junk lady coughed and winked, causing the rubbish on her back to jiggle. "Enough chit chat baby, let me show you how much a junk lady can pleasure you."
Before Darien could protest the junk lady ripped of her raggy dress and put her hands on her dimply hips. Darien's eyes widened in disgust at the sight of her saggy tits flapping in the wind, and the pieces of junk protruding from her body. Darien stumbled backwards, and gagged.
"Oh come now baby, it's all good. Don't keep me waiting."
In shock, Darien took a step backwards but stumbled over an old toy on the floor. Falling on his back, he screamed when the junk lady straddled him.
"Get off me you old bag!" he roared and threw a rose at her head.
"EEEEKKKK" screamed the junk lady "Get it off me it's clean, it's clean!!!!!"
Struggling to pull the fresh rose out of her head, the junk lady stumbled off behind her mountains of rubbish. Darien rolled over and vomited on the floor.
"Oh god that was close.. I have to get out of her before that beast comes back. She was worse than Cher!"
Looking around, Darien spotted a pathway leading into a jungle, and sprinted towards it.
*********
Nat opened her eyes and moaned.
"My fucking head" she cried, her body still trembling from her adventure with the hands. "Stupid bastards dropping me on the head like that." Nat stood up off the floor and looked around. "Now where the hell am I?"
The room was bare and dark, with only 1 lit candle on the wall. Directly above her was a hole with a grate. "That must have been where I fell!"
Nat strode over to the hole angrily. "HEY! You guys!"she screamed up at the hole "Thanks a lot you fuck heads, dropping me like that."
"You chose down HAHAHAHAHAHA" the hands replied.
Stomping her foot in anger, Nat looked on the floor, and picked up a few rocks on the floor. "Take that you stupid hand jobs!!" she shrieked and began pegging the rocks through the hole at the hands. To her happiness she could hear some of the hands shout in pain.
"I wouldn't do that if I were you" a voice said behind her.
Nat spun around and her mouth dropped open. Jareth stood there, his hands on his hips, he's legs drawn apart, and a smile on his lips.
"Well it's about time you showed up!" Nat cried "You were supposed to take me to the castle you boofhead, but thanks to you, I've been chased by a beast, molested by hands, and fell on my head."
Jareth smiled and raised his hands in the air "I apologise Nat. It was wrong of me to leave you there... by now you should have heard me sing to you."
"Damn straight" Nat replied huffily.
Still smiling, Jareth advanced towards Nat. "I'll tell you what... I'll take you back to my castle, and sing three songs for you.... But... I want you to tell me as much stuff about Cher that you know."
Nat's face dropped "You like Cher?"
Jareth walked closer, his face a few centimeters away from Nat's. "Yes I admit I do... but you are still a sexy girl."
Nat pouted, causing Jareth to look down at her lips "Fine then. I tried but I don't know what the problem is... maybe you're gay, or something. Besides I have my Darien..." Nat sighed and stopped pouting. "Ok, as soon as I tell you about Cher, you have to take me to the castle, deal?" "Deal" replied Jareth.
For the next ten minutes, Nat told Jareth all about Cher's passion for men, beer, sailor moon, Ralph Fiennes, Labyrinth, her fetishes, and her annoying habits including falling off chairs and clearing her throat.
"I know she likes you though," concluded Nat "So I hope you two are happy."
Jareth smiled and leaned forward, pushing his nose against Nat's. "Thank you Nat... I shall take you to the castle now."
Nat stared with stars in her eyes at Jareth's mouth and smiled.
"What the hell" she said out loud, and before Jareth had a chance to move, Nat closed her eyes and pushed her lips against Jareth's lips.
Startled, Jareth was about to move, but found the taste of Nat's peach lip balm intoxicating. He pushed his mouth against Nat's lips harder, and ran his hands down her back, pushing her body against his. Nat gasped in his mouth and thrust her hands in his hair. After a few minutes, Jareth pulled away and ran a hand through his hair. Nat stood still, a smile on her red lips, breathing hard.
Jareth was shocked, horny, and annoyed. "I..." he started. "Why.."
Nat continued to smile, not saying anything.
"I... I have to get out of here" Jareth stuttered, and flicked his wrist.
Nat's eyes bulged open. "DON'T YOU DARE RUN OFF, YOU SAID YOU WERE GOING TO TAKE ME BACK TO THE CASTLE!"
But it was too late, Jareth was gone in another cloud of glitter.
"COME BACK HERE YOU BOOFHEAD! HOW DARE YOU RUN OFF IN HER POOFY CLOUD OF GLITTER! AHHH YOU JERK!! I KNOW YOU CAN HEAR ME! JARETH!!! YOU LIKED KISSING ME! DON'T THINK I DIDN'T NOTICE THE BULGE GROWTH IN YOUR TIGHTS!! AHHH JARETH!!!!!!! JARREEETTTHHHH!!!!!!!!"
*******
Cher continued down the path until she eventually came to a dead end where there were two doors. In front of the two doors were some Card Guards, one blue, one red. Cher fluffed up her black hair and strolled towards the card guards.
"Hey which one is the door to the castle?" Cher demanded.
The red and blue card guards giggled and stared at Cher. "We can't tell you that, you have to figure it out for yerself. But remember one of us tells the truth and one of us always lies" They said and suddenly leant behind the cards and giggled.
Cher ignored them and sighed "Well, which one of you lie?"
"He's the liar" the red card said, motioning to the blue card.
"That's not right. I always tell the truth."
"Oh what a lie " chuckled the red card.
Cher looked at both of the guards and noticed that they continued to look behind their cards and giggle. "What are you guys doing?" Cher asked.
Looking down, Cher realised that there was another set of card guards directly under the card. There were two heads for each card. And the red card bottom head was looking up Cher's skirt. "WHY YOU DIRTY BASTARD!" Cher shrieked, and kicked the bottom head.
"YOW OH YOWWWWWW!" he moaned and rubbed his head, whilst the blue card guards laughed.
Pulling her skirt down, Cher rolled her eyes. "That's for looking up my skirt. Now tell me which door leads me to the castle? My friend Nat might be there by now."
The red guards whispered to each other than sighed.
"It's their door," they said motioning to the blue card guards door.
"Thank you" Cher said and strutted towards the door, which opened for her. Walking through the door, Cher smiled but screamed when the floor opened up under her.
"That's for kicking me in the head" the red guards yelled out as Cher plummeted through the hole. Halfway through the hole, Cher realised that she was being caught by hundreds of green hands. Cher smiled as the hands were situated all over her body. Instantly Cher began rubbing against the hands.
"Stop that! You have to tell us which way you would like to go!" scolded a hand.
Cher ignored them and continued rubbing against the hands.
"Up or down" they demanded.
"Oh touch me..." Cher moaned. "Touch me down there"
The hands weren't very clever and didn't understand Cher. "Do what?"
"Lower baby!!!! Down more!!" Cher ordered like a dominatrix.
Shrugging, the hands dropped Cher. "She chose down!!" they squealed.
Cher screamed in frustration and in fear as she fell the rest of the way down and landed with a bang on her ass.
End Note: Cher: you know what sucks...the way I always fall on my ass...I'm gonna write about that in the next chapter. I hate falling on my ass my ass is fragile.
Nat: not anymore. Email us, Natchersluts@hotmail.com and please Cher stop pretending to be readers by emailing yourself...it's not cool.
Cher: I don't know what you mean.
Nat: -.-;;;
Cher: ^^
Nat: Honestly Cher it's the newest fashion.
Cher: You are the weakest link...
Nat: GOODBYE!
Cher: AUSSIE AUSSIE AUSSIE!!!!
Nat: OI OI OI !!!!!!!!!!!
Disclaimer: Cher tried to tackle Naoko-sama in the street. She got sent to jail...we still don't own anything but I got to touch Rafe's ass it was the best second of my life.
Nat's AN: I love Darien *smooch * I don't own him though, damnit... btw I am a brunette not a blonde. *giggles*
Cher: You act blonde...oh I'm not supposed to be in these an's
Jareth grinned evilly as he watched Nat lay unconscious on the cold floor of his oubliette.
"She is quite beautiful," he said aloud as he watched shadows run across her sexy features.
" I find myself quite attracted to her... but..." Jareth paused as he looked through another crystal ball showing Cher burping rapidly after consuming her vegimite and bread.
"There is also Cher"
"They are both extremely tempting, and it would be possible for me to have BOTH of them" Jareth smirked. "But I'm sure they would be killing each other over me, so I must pick one." Jareth frowned and stared at Cher, who was now occupied in picking out a wedgie.
"I feel a weird closeness to Cher... I feel a bond between us... and she proberly knows a lot more slutty tricks than Nat does. I'm finding it a lot harder to resist her offerings."
Looking smug Jareth turned his attention back to Nat who was slowly awakening. "I think it's time to go visit Nat...after all, I WAS supposed to take her back to the castle, not let her run around by herself. Besides, maybe I can find out some things about Cher."
Jareth chuckled and with a flick of his wrist, disappeared into a cloud of glitter.
*********
Darien, the tuxedo clad figure took of his mask and wiped the sweat from his forehead, his sexy blue eyes taking in his surroundings. Mountains of garbage were spread as far as his extremely sexy blue eyes could see. Jumping off the labyrinth wall, Darien walked slowly towards the garbage, trying to see his way through all the mess.
"Where the hell am I?" Darien thought, "I must save my Natsua before it is too late... but how am I going to get through all of this crap."
Suddenly, Darien heard a clattering noise to his left, and saw a large pile of rubbish moving. Swiftly, he advanced towards the mass, but froze when it turned around.
"Oh my god" Darien thought "That's not a junk pile... that's a woman!"
A face in the middle of the rubbish smiled and licked it's dry lips.
"Oh my my my, it looks like I have found the best treasure today haven't I?"
Darien cringed at the sight of the beast woman, her hideous face contorted, her fat little body shaking beneath her raggy dress, and the mountains of rubbish sitting on her back.
"I am Tuxedo Mask, and I am here to save my Natsua. Tell me your name demon." The beast's eyes lit up at the sound of his extremely sexy voice.
"Oh you sound even better than you look don't you hmmmmm? You my sexy little junk find are standing in MY part of the labyrinth. I am the junk lady and this is my kingdom."
Darien clenched his jaw " Tell me, how do I find my Natsua? Please you must tell me."
The junk lady sighed "Look forget about this Natsua girl, she might have fallen in the bog of eternal stench for all you know, and she will smell like cat shit forever. Look at me Tuxey baby. I'm more woman than you ever need."
Darien's hot blue eyes widened in horror "My patience is growing thin. You best...."
The junk lady interrupted Darien "Don't be all prudish baby, you're just uptight because you haven't been getting any... come on I can help you out, even The Goblin King has come to me for some help, if you know what I mean." The junk lady coughed and winked, causing the rubbish on her back to jiggle. "Enough chit chat baby, let me show you how much a junk lady can pleasure you."
Before Darien could protest the junk lady ripped of her raggy dress and put her hands on her dimply hips. Darien's eyes widened in disgust at the sight of her saggy tits flapping in the wind, and the pieces of junk protruding from her body. Darien stumbled backwards, and gagged.
"Oh come now baby, it's all good. Don't keep me waiting."
In shock, Darien took a step backwards but stumbled over an old toy on the floor. Falling on his back, he screamed when the junk lady straddled him.
"Get off me you old bag!" he roared and threw a rose at her head.
"EEEEKKKK" screamed the junk lady "Get it off me it's clean, it's clean!!!!!"
Struggling to pull the fresh rose out of her head, the junk lady stumbled off behind her mountains of rubbish. Darien rolled over and vomited on the floor.
"Oh god that was close.. I have to get out of her before that beast comes back. She was worse than Cher!"
Looking around, Darien spotted a pathway leading into a jungle, and sprinted towards it.
*********
Nat opened her eyes and moaned.
"My fucking head" she cried, her body still trembling from her adventure with the hands. "Stupid bastards dropping me on the head like that." Nat stood up off the floor and looked around. "Now where the hell am I?"
The room was bare and dark, with only 1 lit candle on the wall. Directly above her was a hole with a grate. "That must have been where I fell!"
Nat strode over to the hole angrily. "HEY! You guys!"she screamed up at the hole "Thanks a lot you fuck heads, dropping me like that."
"You chose down HAHAHAHAHAHA" the hands replied.
Stomping her foot in anger, Nat looked on the floor, and picked up a few rocks on the floor. "Take that you stupid hand jobs!!" she shrieked and began pegging the rocks through the hole at the hands. To her happiness she could hear some of the hands shout in pain.
"I wouldn't do that if I were you" a voice said behind her.
Nat spun around and her mouth dropped open. Jareth stood there, his hands on his hips, he's legs drawn apart, and a smile on his lips.
"Well it's about time you showed up!" Nat cried "You were supposed to take me to the castle you boofhead, but thanks to you, I've been chased by a beast, molested by hands, and fell on my head."
Jareth smiled and raised his hands in the air "I apologise Nat. It was wrong of me to leave you there... by now you should have heard me sing to you."
"Damn straight" Nat replied huffily.
Still smiling, Jareth advanced towards Nat. "I'll tell you what... I'll take you back to my castle, and sing three songs for you.... But... I want you to tell me as much stuff about Cher that you know."
Nat's face dropped "You like Cher?"
Jareth walked closer, his face a few centimeters away from Nat's. "Yes I admit I do... but you are still a sexy girl."
Nat pouted, causing Jareth to look down at her lips "Fine then. I tried but I don't know what the problem is... maybe you're gay, or something. Besides I have my Darien..." Nat sighed and stopped pouting. "Ok, as soon as I tell you about Cher, you have to take me to the castle, deal?" "Deal" replied Jareth.
For the next ten minutes, Nat told Jareth all about Cher's passion for men, beer, sailor moon, Ralph Fiennes, Labyrinth, her fetishes, and her annoying habits including falling off chairs and clearing her throat.
"I know she likes you though," concluded Nat "So I hope you two are happy."
Jareth smiled and leaned forward, pushing his nose against Nat's. "Thank you Nat... I shall take you to the castle now."
Nat stared with stars in her eyes at Jareth's mouth and smiled.
"What the hell" she said out loud, and before Jareth had a chance to move, Nat closed her eyes and pushed her lips against Jareth's lips.
Startled, Jareth was about to move, but found the taste of Nat's peach lip balm intoxicating. He pushed his mouth against Nat's lips harder, and ran his hands down her back, pushing her body against his. Nat gasped in his mouth and thrust her hands in his hair. After a few minutes, Jareth pulled away and ran a hand through his hair. Nat stood still, a smile on her red lips, breathing hard.
Jareth was shocked, horny, and annoyed. "I..." he started. "Why.."
Nat continued to smile, not saying anything.
"I... I have to get out of here" Jareth stuttered, and flicked his wrist.
Nat's eyes bulged open. "DON'T YOU DARE RUN OFF, YOU SAID YOU WERE GOING TO TAKE ME BACK TO THE CASTLE!"
But it was too late, Jareth was gone in another cloud of glitter.
"COME BACK HERE YOU BOOFHEAD! HOW DARE YOU RUN OFF IN HER POOFY CLOUD OF GLITTER! AHHH YOU JERK!! I KNOW YOU CAN HEAR ME! JARETH!!! YOU LIKED KISSING ME! DON'T THINK I DIDN'T NOTICE THE BULGE GROWTH IN YOUR TIGHTS!! AHHH JARETH!!!!!!! JARREEETTTHHHH!!!!!!!!"
*******
Cher continued down the path until she eventually came to a dead end where there were two doors. In front of the two doors were some Card Guards, one blue, one red. Cher fluffed up her black hair and strolled towards the card guards.
"Hey which one is the door to the castle?" Cher demanded.
The red and blue card guards giggled and stared at Cher. "We can't tell you that, you have to figure it out for yerself. But remember one of us tells the truth and one of us always lies" They said and suddenly leant behind the cards and giggled.
Cher ignored them and sighed "Well, which one of you lie?"
"He's the liar" the red card said, motioning to the blue card.
"That's not right. I always tell the truth."
"Oh what a lie " chuckled the red card.
Cher looked at both of the guards and noticed that they continued to look behind their cards and giggle. "What are you guys doing?" Cher asked.
Looking down, Cher realised that there was another set of card guards directly under the card. There were two heads for each card. And the red card bottom head was looking up Cher's skirt. "WHY YOU DIRTY BASTARD!" Cher shrieked, and kicked the bottom head.
"YOW OH YOWWWWWW!" he moaned and rubbed his head, whilst the blue card guards laughed.
Pulling her skirt down, Cher rolled her eyes. "That's for looking up my skirt. Now tell me which door leads me to the castle? My friend Nat might be there by now."
The red guards whispered to each other than sighed.
"It's their door," they said motioning to the blue card guards door.
"Thank you" Cher said and strutted towards the door, which opened for her. Walking through the door, Cher smiled but screamed when the floor opened up under her.
"That's for kicking me in the head" the red guards yelled out as Cher plummeted through the hole. Halfway through the hole, Cher realised that she was being caught by hundreds of green hands. Cher smiled as the hands were situated all over her body. Instantly Cher began rubbing against the hands.
"Stop that! You have to tell us which way you would like to go!" scolded a hand.
Cher ignored them and continued rubbing against the hands.
"Up or down" they demanded.
"Oh touch me..." Cher moaned. "Touch me down there"
The hands weren't very clever and didn't understand Cher. "Do what?"
"Lower baby!!!! Down more!!" Cher ordered like a dominatrix.
Shrugging, the hands dropped Cher. "She chose down!!" they squealed.
Cher screamed in frustration and in fear as she fell the rest of the way down and landed with a bang on her ass.
End Note: Cher: you know what sucks...the way I always fall on my ass...I'm gonna write about that in the next chapter. I hate falling on my ass my ass is fragile.
Nat: not anymore. Email us, Natchersluts@hotmail.com and please Cher stop pretending to be readers by emailing yourself...it's not cool.
Cher: I don't know what you mean.
Nat: -.-;;;
Cher: ^^
Nat: Honestly Cher it's the newest fashion.
Cher: You are the weakest link...
Nat: GOODBYE!
Cher: AUSSIE AUSSIE AUSSIE!!!!
Nat: OI OI OI !!!!!!!!!!!