Chapter Five-
Disclaimer: I couldn't assault Naoko-sama this week cause of this stupid jacket nat gave me. We still don't own anything except that Jareth is on Nat's list...but they will be ours...oh yes they will be ours. MWAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHheheheehhe maaaaah!
Cher's AN: Don't tell Nat guys, but I stole all the men on her list...Ohhhhhhh Brucie rub harder....they give great massages. Rafe a little lower thanks. anyway Nat would just like to say that while she is tied up in the basement god knows how she got in there. Anyway where was I? Oh yes while Nat is tied in the basement she will sign a contract saying that all the men on her list belong to me now. Another plan perfectly executed.
Nat: -.-;;; mmmmmmmf
Cher: yes well on with the story ne?
"I HATE YOU JARETH YOU PIECE OF DONKEY SHIT!" Nat jumped up and turned around in circles. She cried in frustration. "Where the fuck am I DAMN YOU CHER SAVE ME ALREADY!"
Nat threw herself against a wall which gave way from her weight to reveal several tunnels and pathways. "This is more like it Jareth I'm coming to get you baby. You better be hard and ready. I know you liked the kiss."
Nat took off at a sprint down the tunnel ready for Jareth and his kissable mouth.
*******
She saw red.
This was the last straw she was sick and tired of it all.
"FUCK YOU JARETH! I KNOW YOU CAN HEAR ME YOU ARE A PIECE OF SHIT! WHY AM I THE ONE ALWAYS FALLING ON MY ASS! I KNOW YOU CAN HEAR ME! ANSWER ME YOU MALE SLUT POUNDER!"
Cher stood and threw herself at the wall of the circular room she was stuck in.
"YOU CAN HEAR ME I KNOW YOU CAN! I AM SO DAMN TIRED OF YOU AND YOUR FUCKING THINGS THAT MAKE ME FALL ON MY ASS FIRST THE HILL, THEN THE CAN CAN, THEN THE FUCKING CRYSTAL BALL THING, NOW THIS WHAT DO YOU WANT FROM ME? A TENDER ASS? IS THAT IT...IS IT?"
Cher broke down into sobs, her throat raw from screaming at nothing. A thought struck her.
"If I......find out......that you......and Nat......have been......fooling around......I will FUCKING KICK YOUR ASS AND RIP OUT YOUR CRYSTAL BALLS AND SMASH THEM INTO THE BOG OF ETERNAL STENCH YOU BASTARD!" Standing once again, Cher kicked the wall in frustration.
It gave way to a maze of tunnels and twists and Cher smiled proudly. "See what I can do Jareth? I can destroy this place in an instant. WATCH OUT JARETH YOUR ASS IS MINE!"
Cher took off in the direction of nothingness with a grin plastered across her face. She was running full speed when something from another direction slammed into her side and sent her sprawling to the ground.
"WHY YOU LITTLE..." Cher gasped at the figure before her. "You're not Hogfart...YOU'RE NAT!"
Nat and Cher looked at each other in shock before hurling themselves on one another causing an all out brawl.
"WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE SKANK LICKER?"
"ME? WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE? YOU'RE SUPPOSED TO BE RESCUEING ME FROM THE CASTLE!"
"YOU'RE SUPPOSED TO BE AT THE CASTLE!"
"SHUT UP SHERYAL!"
Silence. Sniffles.
"You called me a Sheryal."
Nat rolled her eyes and helped Cher off the floor. "Damn right I did. Come on we need to get out of these tunnels their hell on my complexion."
Cher stood, eyes fixed to the ground.
"GOD DAMNIT CHER LETS GO!"
Sniffles. Silence. Louder sniffles. Angry sigh.
"What is it?" Nat asked in exasperation.
"It's just...I wanted to show you that I was more then a stupid sheryal you know. I went through shit for you and I don't even get a hug."
Rolling her eyes Nat placed her arms around Cher and patted her back. The hug was an uncomfortable one and Nat quickly backed away. "Ok so are you with me? Can we go?"
Cher nodded with a stupid grin on her face.
*******
"I SAW MY CHERRY CRYING HARD AS CHER COULD CRY WHAT DO I DO? MY CHERRY'S ASS WAS SORE AND LEFT MY CHERRY BLUE WHAT DO I DO? WHAT KIND OF MAGIC SPELL TO DO?"
"Kick her in the ass then make her yell and scream?"
"O.o. Those are the wrong words GOBLINS BE GONE!" Jareth sat at his throne cross legged attempting to sing his song. Goblins scattered and finally Jareth was left alone.
"How can it be that I have fallen for such a sheryal?" Shaking his head Jareth conjured up a crystal ball. "Oh sweet Cher where are you?"
Gazing into his balls, Jareth searched for the girl that had captured his heart. A small smile crossed his face as the image of Cher cleared. She was attempting to scratch some food that was caught in her teeth. A loud burp echoed throughout the room she was in then a pink blush stained Cher's cheek. "Opps." Was all she could muster.
Jareth smiled and widened the view. "I must see how her beautiful body is holding.....WHAT IN THE WORLD?" Jareth stood in shock to find that the wider picture showed Nat standing beside Cher.
"They've met up? THEY WEREN'T MEANT TO MEET UP! HOGFART GET IN HERE!" The sound of grunts were heard as Hoggle made his way up the stairs and into the throne room.
"Yes your highness?" He bowed to one knee giving a perfect bulge shot of Jareth.
"Hogwol, I want you to find Cher and Nat and separate them. They cannot be traveling through my labyrinth together. Do you understand?"
Hoggle nodded and stood to leave.
"HOGNUTS WAIT! Give this parcel to them. Make sure they consume the contents and when they are done be sure that they are separated. Don't defy me Hogdoodle."
Hoggle nodded sheepishly and stepped away slowly.
"By nightfall my plan will be complete. And thirteen hours will be up. Cher can trade places with Nat and she will be mine forever."
*******
"Never in all of Tokyo have I...OUF!" Darien lurched forward as something hit his back. He rolled over quickly. His defensive instinct kicking in. What he saw was a red head grinning up at him.
"What in the world...are you?"
A headless body jiggled over and picked up it's head.
"Don't have no problems no problems ain't got no suitcase no suitcase ain't got no clothes to worry about ain't got no real estate or jewelry or gold mines to hang me up i just throw in my hand throw in his hand with the chilliest bunch in the land they don't look much but they're sure chilly chilly they're positively glow glow, huh! chilly down with the wild gang think small with the wild gang bad hep with the wild gang don't lose your head. when your thing gets wild chilly down, chilly down with the wild gang hey, i'm a wild child! walk tall with the wild gang whoo! Walk tall! good times, bad food bleh! Blub blub blub blub! when your thing gets wild chilly down, chilly down..."
Darien thwaped the Fiery upside the head. "SHUT UP YOU MORON! I don't chilly down with no one but Natsua!"
Darien whacked the fiery with his cane and then jumped away. "I'll save you Natsua!"
*******
"Dude are we there yet?"
"No."
"Are we there YET?"
"No ."
"Yet?"
"NOO!"
"How bout now?"
"NO NOT YET!"
"Dude yet?"
"CHER, WE HAVEN'T EVEN LEFT YET WHAT THE FUCK DO YOU THINK?"
Cher looked at Nat with a blank stare. "So let's go then." She made her way in the direction she had gone in when she ran straight into someone...for the second time.
"GOD DAMN IT WHO IS IT NOW? Hognipple?"
"It's Hoggle."
Cher picked herself up off the grown and yanked down her skirt which had once again ridden up much to Hoggle's delight.
"Cher who is this little wrinkly NippleHog?"
"Hogwanger."
"Hogdinkle."
"IT'S HOGGLE!" The little dwarf had a hissy fit while Cher and Nat stared at Jareth, who had just made his presence known.
"Well ladies it looks like you're in a little bit of a predicament. Perhaps you'd like to see how you are faring?" Cher and Nat nodded eagerly as Jareth pulled back a curtain. It revealed a large screen TV with the Junk lady standing beside it smiling her toothless smile.
"OH GROSS!" Cher turned her back and clutched her stomach while Nat quietly snickered. "Dude she is ugly. I wonder if.....WE ONLY HAVE 4 HOURS LEFT? DUDE 4 HOURS CHER GET THE FUCK UP OFF THE GROUND WE HAVE 4 HOURS LEFT!" Nat glared at Jareth while yanking Cher off her feet. "How are we supposed to finish this in four hours?"
Smiling, Jareth conjured up two crystal balls and spun them in his hand. "My labyrinth is simple, for those who are simple. Farewell ladies. Cher do try to eat something. Your body is frail."
Cher looked at Jareth with a quizical stare and burped loudly. "Opps."
She giggled impishly. "Wait...WHY DO YOU KEEP TALKING ABOUT MY BODY?" She looked down at her Brittany Spears school uniform she was wearing and sighed. "I..."
"Come on Cher lets go before he takes away more time." Nat grabbed Cher's hand and dragged her to a ladder. "Climb!" She ordered.
"You climb it dick noblet."
"I'll climb it." The forgotten Hoggle trotted over and began the upward ascent.
"Hogpoodle? Are we there yet?"
End note - Cher: Jareth cut it out . well Nat somehow broke free and is now running around Cambodia looking like a rabid dog so I guess the end note is up to me
Nat: Stupid Sheryal. Well I'd just like to say that contract was a total fake and I retrieved all my men on my list including Rafe. This is not the end. There are still many chapters to come so keep a watch for us and...
Cher: NAT THESE PANTS ARE HAND WASH ONLY! NOW THEY'RE RUINED YOU WHOZZA! Dude there will be more chapters if Nat pulls her whozza of a finger out.
Nat: Email us Natchersluts@hotmail.com
Cher: We won't bite...hard ^^
Nat: Cher don't scare them off like last time...she accidentally sent out her picture to all the people that emailed us. Word has it they all went to the loony bin!
Cher: I'm not THAT bad
Random person who saw Cher's pic: AHHHHHHHHH IT'S SO UGLY...MY EYES MY EYES IT HURTS IT HURTS MAKE IT STOP!
Cher: -.-;;;
Nat:
Cher: You are the weakest link...
Nat: GOODBYE!
Cher: AUSSIE AUSSIE AUSSIE
Nat: OI OI OI !!!!!!!
Disclaimer: I couldn't assault Naoko-sama this week cause of this stupid jacket nat gave me. We still don't own anything except that Jareth is on Nat's list...but they will be ours...oh yes they will be ours. MWAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHheheheehhe maaaaah!
Cher's AN: Don't tell Nat guys, but I stole all the men on her list...Ohhhhhhh Brucie rub harder....they give great massages. Rafe a little lower thanks. anyway Nat would just like to say that while she is tied up in the basement god knows how she got in there. Anyway where was I? Oh yes while Nat is tied in the basement she will sign a contract saying that all the men on her list belong to me now. Another plan perfectly executed.
Nat: -.-;;; mmmmmmmf
Cher: yes well on with the story ne?
"I HATE YOU JARETH YOU PIECE OF DONKEY SHIT!" Nat jumped up and turned around in circles. She cried in frustration. "Where the fuck am I DAMN YOU CHER SAVE ME ALREADY!"
Nat threw herself against a wall which gave way from her weight to reveal several tunnels and pathways. "This is more like it Jareth I'm coming to get you baby. You better be hard and ready. I know you liked the kiss."
Nat took off at a sprint down the tunnel ready for Jareth and his kissable mouth.
*******
She saw red.
This was the last straw she was sick and tired of it all.
"FUCK YOU JARETH! I KNOW YOU CAN HEAR ME YOU ARE A PIECE OF SHIT! WHY AM I THE ONE ALWAYS FALLING ON MY ASS! I KNOW YOU CAN HEAR ME! ANSWER ME YOU MALE SLUT POUNDER!"
Cher stood and threw herself at the wall of the circular room she was stuck in.
"YOU CAN HEAR ME I KNOW YOU CAN! I AM SO DAMN TIRED OF YOU AND YOUR FUCKING THINGS THAT MAKE ME FALL ON MY ASS FIRST THE HILL, THEN THE CAN CAN, THEN THE FUCKING CRYSTAL BALL THING, NOW THIS WHAT DO YOU WANT FROM ME? A TENDER ASS? IS THAT IT...IS IT?"
Cher broke down into sobs, her throat raw from screaming at nothing. A thought struck her.
"If I......find out......that you......and Nat......have been......fooling around......I will FUCKING KICK YOUR ASS AND RIP OUT YOUR CRYSTAL BALLS AND SMASH THEM INTO THE BOG OF ETERNAL STENCH YOU BASTARD!" Standing once again, Cher kicked the wall in frustration.
It gave way to a maze of tunnels and twists and Cher smiled proudly. "See what I can do Jareth? I can destroy this place in an instant. WATCH OUT JARETH YOUR ASS IS MINE!"
Cher took off in the direction of nothingness with a grin plastered across her face. She was running full speed when something from another direction slammed into her side and sent her sprawling to the ground.
"WHY YOU LITTLE..." Cher gasped at the figure before her. "You're not Hogfart...YOU'RE NAT!"
Nat and Cher looked at each other in shock before hurling themselves on one another causing an all out brawl.
"WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE SKANK LICKER?"
"ME? WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE? YOU'RE SUPPOSED TO BE RESCUEING ME FROM THE CASTLE!"
"YOU'RE SUPPOSED TO BE AT THE CASTLE!"
"SHUT UP SHERYAL!"
Silence. Sniffles.
"You called me a Sheryal."
Nat rolled her eyes and helped Cher off the floor. "Damn right I did. Come on we need to get out of these tunnels their hell on my complexion."
Cher stood, eyes fixed to the ground.
"GOD DAMNIT CHER LETS GO!"
Sniffles. Silence. Louder sniffles. Angry sigh.
"What is it?" Nat asked in exasperation.
"It's just...I wanted to show you that I was more then a stupid sheryal you know. I went through shit for you and I don't even get a hug."
Rolling her eyes Nat placed her arms around Cher and patted her back. The hug was an uncomfortable one and Nat quickly backed away. "Ok so are you with me? Can we go?"
Cher nodded with a stupid grin on her face.
*******
"I SAW MY CHERRY CRYING HARD AS CHER COULD CRY WHAT DO I DO? MY CHERRY'S ASS WAS SORE AND LEFT MY CHERRY BLUE WHAT DO I DO? WHAT KIND OF MAGIC SPELL TO DO?"
"Kick her in the ass then make her yell and scream?"
"O.o. Those are the wrong words GOBLINS BE GONE!" Jareth sat at his throne cross legged attempting to sing his song. Goblins scattered and finally Jareth was left alone.
"How can it be that I have fallen for such a sheryal?" Shaking his head Jareth conjured up a crystal ball. "Oh sweet Cher where are you?"
Gazing into his balls, Jareth searched for the girl that had captured his heart. A small smile crossed his face as the image of Cher cleared. She was attempting to scratch some food that was caught in her teeth. A loud burp echoed throughout the room she was in then a pink blush stained Cher's cheek. "Opps." Was all she could muster.
Jareth smiled and widened the view. "I must see how her beautiful body is holding.....WHAT IN THE WORLD?" Jareth stood in shock to find that the wider picture showed Nat standing beside Cher.
"They've met up? THEY WEREN'T MEANT TO MEET UP! HOGFART GET IN HERE!" The sound of grunts were heard as Hoggle made his way up the stairs and into the throne room.
"Yes your highness?" He bowed to one knee giving a perfect bulge shot of Jareth.
"Hogwol, I want you to find Cher and Nat and separate them. They cannot be traveling through my labyrinth together. Do you understand?"
Hoggle nodded and stood to leave.
"HOGNUTS WAIT! Give this parcel to them. Make sure they consume the contents and when they are done be sure that they are separated. Don't defy me Hogdoodle."
Hoggle nodded sheepishly and stepped away slowly.
"By nightfall my plan will be complete. And thirteen hours will be up. Cher can trade places with Nat and she will be mine forever."
*******
"Never in all of Tokyo have I...OUF!" Darien lurched forward as something hit his back. He rolled over quickly. His defensive instinct kicking in. What he saw was a red head grinning up at him.
"What in the world...are you?"
A headless body jiggled over and picked up it's head.
"Don't have no problems no problems ain't got no suitcase no suitcase ain't got no clothes to worry about ain't got no real estate or jewelry or gold mines to hang me up i just throw in my hand throw in his hand with the chilliest bunch in the land they don't look much but they're sure chilly chilly they're positively glow glow, huh! chilly down with the wild gang think small with the wild gang bad hep with the wild gang don't lose your head. when your thing gets wild chilly down, chilly down with the wild gang hey, i'm a wild child! walk tall with the wild gang whoo! Walk tall! good times, bad food bleh! Blub blub blub blub! when your thing gets wild chilly down, chilly down..."
Darien thwaped the Fiery upside the head. "SHUT UP YOU MORON! I don't chilly down with no one but Natsua!"
Darien whacked the fiery with his cane and then jumped away. "I'll save you Natsua!"
*******
"Dude are we there yet?"
"No."
"Are we there YET?"
"No ."
"Yet?"
"NOO!"
"How bout now?"
"NO NOT YET!"
"Dude yet?"
"CHER, WE HAVEN'T EVEN LEFT YET WHAT THE FUCK DO YOU THINK?"
Cher looked at Nat with a blank stare. "So let's go then." She made her way in the direction she had gone in when she ran straight into someone...for the second time.
"GOD DAMN IT WHO IS IT NOW? Hognipple?"
"It's Hoggle."
Cher picked herself up off the grown and yanked down her skirt which had once again ridden up much to Hoggle's delight.
"Cher who is this little wrinkly NippleHog?"
"Hogwanger."
"Hogdinkle."
"IT'S HOGGLE!" The little dwarf had a hissy fit while Cher and Nat stared at Jareth, who had just made his presence known.
"Well ladies it looks like you're in a little bit of a predicament. Perhaps you'd like to see how you are faring?" Cher and Nat nodded eagerly as Jareth pulled back a curtain. It revealed a large screen TV with the Junk lady standing beside it smiling her toothless smile.
"OH GROSS!" Cher turned her back and clutched her stomach while Nat quietly snickered. "Dude she is ugly. I wonder if.....WE ONLY HAVE 4 HOURS LEFT? DUDE 4 HOURS CHER GET THE FUCK UP OFF THE GROUND WE HAVE 4 HOURS LEFT!" Nat glared at Jareth while yanking Cher off her feet. "How are we supposed to finish this in four hours?"
Smiling, Jareth conjured up two crystal balls and spun them in his hand. "My labyrinth is simple, for those who are simple. Farewell ladies. Cher do try to eat something. Your body is frail."
Cher looked at Jareth with a quizical stare and burped loudly. "Opps."
She giggled impishly. "Wait...WHY DO YOU KEEP TALKING ABOUT MY BODY?" She looked down at her Brittany Spears school uniform she was wearing and sighed. "I..."
"Come on Cher lets go before he takes away more time." Nat grabbed Cher's hand and dragged her to a ladder. "Climb!" She ordered.
"You climb it dick noblet."
"I'll climb it." The forgotten Hoggle trotted over and began the upward ascent.
"Hogpoodle? Are we there yet?"
End note - Cher: Jareth cut it out . well Nat somehow broke free and is now running around Cambodia looking like a rabid dog so I guess the end note is up to me
Nat: Stupid Sheryal. Well I'd just like to say that contract was a total fake and I retrieved all my men on my list including Rafe. This is not the end. There are still many chapters to come so keep a watch for us and...
Cher: NAT THESE PANTS ARE HAND WASH ONLY! NOW THEY'RE RUINED YOU WHOZZA! Dude there will be more chapters if Nat pulls her whozza of a finger out.
Nat: Email us Natchersluts@hotmail.com
Cher: We won't bite...hard ^^
Nat: Cher don't scare them off like last time...she accidentally sent out her picture to all the people that emailed us. Word has it they all went to the loony bin!
Cher: I'm not THAT bad
Random person who saw Cher's pic: AHHHHHHHHH IT'S SO UGLY...MY EYES MY EYES IT HURTS IT HURTS MAKE IT STOP!
Cher: -.-;;;
Nat:
Cher: You are the weakest link...
Nat: GOODBYE!
Cher: AUSSIE AUSSIE AUSSIE
Nat: OI OI OI !!!!!!!