Yo! Sorry the last chapter was so gruesome. I can't promise there won't be
more of the same. Don't worry, this chapter will be funnier.
Disclaimer: I only own Scales and PI2.
Ganondorf proudly strutted into the lounge. "Well, how was that?" he asked. "I thought it was very good, Ganondorf." Said Majora from the other side of the room. "Nice brutality." "At last, I have washed away the stench of failure from my last tournament!" said Ganondorf. "The next time I lay eyes on that rodent, I will give her a taste of my blade!" he promised. K. Rool was once again hitting on Scales. "Come on baby, what say you and me go out for dinner after the first round is over, huh?" Scales sighed. "K. Rool, for the last time, leave me alone. I am not even remotely attracted to you." "But look at me! I'm lean, I'm green, I'm a fighting machine! I'm the epitome of reptilian masculinity." Scales snorted out a laugh. "Oh come on, you don't even have a tail! And it looks to me like you could stand to lose a few pounds." "Hey, it's all muscle!" Scales poked his tummy. It wiggled, then settled. "Poke." "Hey, stop that!" "Poke." "Stop!" "Poke." "Aaargh!" Pi2 came on the P.A. system. "Boo, Bowser, please report to the arena. Your battle begins any moment." "Heh, I'm gonna win this one, furnace breath!" taunted King Boo as he flew for the door. "We'll see about that, see-through!"
The machines came online, forming the stage. It looked like the rooftop of a mansion, with two chimneys, a small shack with a locked door, and several pillars. "The stage for this battle is.the rooftop of Luigi's Mansion!" yelled PI2. In the audience, Luigi shivered. "Ooh.this-a brings back so-a many bad memories." "The battle is between King Boo and Bowser. The fight begins in 3." King Boo materialized on one end of the rooftop. "2." Bowser hopped out of a Warp Pipe. "1.Go!" Bowser started stomping towards King Boo, who floated there, waiting. Bowser charged King Boo head-on, preparing to knock him over, when he passed right through the ghost. "Huh? What the-" Bowser charged King Boo again, passing through him once more. Blinking, Bowser slowly approached the ghost and tried to touch him. His hand passed through to the other side. "The hell?" "Haha! Foolish Koopa! I'm a ghost! Nothing you do can affect me, since my transparency renders all attacks useless!" cackled King Boo. "Grrr.we'll see about that!" Bowser leapt into the air and smashed down, pulling off the Bowser Bomb. He passed through King Boo. He retreated into his shell and spun right at King Boo with his Whirling Fortress. He passed through King Boo. He grabbed at King Boo with his hand, trying to perform the Koopa Klaw. His hand grasped at the ghost, but did nothing. Frustrated, Bowser used his Fire Breath, desperately hoping it would work. It didn't. The flames passed through the ghost, who laughed evilly. "Damn it! What can I do to hurt you?" "Ha! You'll need something a lot stronger than your current attacks to damage me, reptile!" Bowser groaned. "I'm not a reptile, I'm an amphibian! Turtles are amphibians! Why do you people keep mistaking me for a dinosaur or something? Sheesh! Anyway, I do have something that'll make my attacks a lot stronger." He pulled an arm into his shell, rummaging through it. A second later, it came out again, holding what looked like a magic wand with a floating golden star at the top. "Take a look at this! Look what I stole from Star Haven! It's the Star Rod!" "Hey, I thought I-a took that from you!" cried Mario from the audience. "You did. I went back to Star Haven and took it back. I mean, it's not like those Star Spirit bozos have any actual security or anything." He waved the Rod around. "And now, to make myself unbeatable!" The star glowed. Bowser was suddenly covered in a shimmering, rainbow-colored light. "Oh yeah! Now I'm invincible! Let's see if your transparency will stop me now!" Bowser reached out with his glowing Koopa Klaw and.passed right through King Boo's body. "WHAT?! But you said." King Boo laughed. "I lied! The only way you can damage me is if you had a flashlight and a vacuum cleaner, and since I already cast a spell on myself to protect me from the light of day, you can't do nothing' to me!" Bowser growled, then had a sudden idea. The crown on King Boo's head didn't look noncorporeal. He snatched the jeweled crown from the ghost's head. "Yoink!" "Wha-hey! Give that back!" he said angrily. Bowser waved the crown. "What? You want this thing back?" "Yes, give it to me!" "Try and get it then!" Bowser waved the crown over King Boo. The ghost tried to grab it, but Bowser pulled his hand back. "Ah, too slow. Try again!" He played cat-and-mouse with King Boo, always making sure to pull the crown away at the last instant. King Boo was, as you would imagine, furious. Bowser was having loads of fun, and the audience was having a laughing fit over his treatment of the royal ghost, but he figured it was time to stop playing around. He stomped over to the edge of the roof and faced King Boo. He dangled the crown over the edge. "You want the crown, boy? You want the crown?" "Yes, give it to me already!" screamed King Boo. "Okay boy, go fetch it!" said Bowser, dropping the crown off the stage. King Boo screamed and flew down after it, catching it inches from the ground. He smothered it with kisses before putting it back on his head. "There! Now I'll go back up there and teach that Koopa a lesson he'll.never.forget." Boo suddenly realized that he had gone below the level of recovery. He had lost. "NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!" Bowser laughed as the stage faded away and he was lowered to the ground. "Yeah! Whoo! I did it! I did it! And I didn't even take a single hit!" Bowser did a little victory dance as his followers and much of the crowd cheered. Boo sobbed and flew away, crying. What a sore loser!
Another fine match, eh? I admit, this one was more of a joke than anything else. Don't worry, the next one will be more action-packed. I think. Please review! Next time: As Bowser is congratulated for using such cunning and trickery in winning his first match, King K. Rool and Wario duke it out in the arena. Which of these two will win? The tailless crocodile, or the fat ugly Italian? Find out next time on.Super Smash Bosses!
Ganondorf proudly strutted into the lounge. "Well, how was that?" he asked. "I thought it was very good, Ganondorf." Said Majora from the other side of the room. "Nice brutality." "At last, I have washed away the stench of failure from my last tournament!" said Ganondorf. "The next time I lay eyes on that rodent, I will give her a taste of my blade!" he promised. K. Rool was once again hitting on Scales. "Come on baby, what say you and me go out for dinner after the first round is over, huh?" Scales sighed. "K. Rool, for the last time, leave me alone. I am not even remotely attracted to you." "But look at me! I'm lean, I'm green, I'm a fighting machine! I'm the epitome of reptilian masculinity." Scales snorted out a laugh. "Oh come on, you don't even have a tail! And it looks to me like you could stand to lose a few pounds." "Hey, it's all muscle!" Scales poked his tummy. It wiggled, then settled. "Poke." "Hey, stop that!" "Poke." "Stop!" "Poke." "Aaargh!" Pi2 came on the P.A. system. "Boo, Bowser, please report to the arena. Your battle begins any moment." "Heh, I'm gonna win this one, furnace breath!" taunted King Boo as he flew for the door. "We'll see about that, see-through!"
The machines came online, forming the stage. It looked like the rooftop of a mansion, with two chimneys, a small shack with a locked door, and several pillars. "The stage for this battle is.the rooftop of Luigi's Mansion!" yelled PI2. In the audience, Luigi shivered. "Ooh.this-a brings back so-a many bad memories." "The battle is between King Boo and Bowser. The fight begins in 3." King Boo materialized on one end of the rooftop. "2." Bowser hopped out of a Warp Pipe. "1.Go!" Bowser started stomping towards King Boo, who floated there, waiting. Bowser charged King Boo head-on, preparing to knock him over, when he passed right through the ghost. "Huh? What the-" Bowser charged King Boo again, passing through him once more. Blinking, Bowser slowly approached the ghost and tried to touch him. His hand passed through to the other side. "The hell?" "Haha! Foolish Koopa! I'm a ghost! Nothing you do can affect me, since my transparency renders all attacks useless!" cackled King Boo. "Grrr.we'll see about that!" Bowser leapt into the air and smashed down, pulling off the Bowser Bomb. He passed through King Boo. He retreated into his shell and spun right at King Boo with his Whirling Fortress. He passed through King Boo. He grabbed at King Boo with his hand, trying to perform the Koopa Klaw. His hand grasped at the ghost, but did nothing. Frustrated, Bowser used his Fire Breath, desperately hoping it would work. It didn't. The flames passed through the ghost, who laughed evilly. "Damn it! What can I do to hurt you?" "Ha! You'll need something a lot stronger than your current attacks to damage me, reptile!" Bowser groaned. "I'm not a reptile, I'm an amphibian! Turtles are amphibians! Why do you people keep mistaking me for a dinosaur or something? Sheesh! Anyway, I do have something that'll make my attacks a lot stronger." He pulled an arm into his shell, rummaging through it. A second later, it came out again, holding what looked like a magic wand with a floating golden star at the top. "Take a look at this! Look what I stole from Star Haven! It's the Star Rod!" "Hey, I thought I-a took that from you!" cried Mario from the audience. "You did. I went back to Star Haven and took it back. I mean, it's not like those Star Spirit bozos have any actual security or anything." He waved the Rod around. "And now, to make myself unbeatable!" The star glowed. Bowser was suddenly covered in a shimmering, rainbow-colored light. "Oh yeah! Now I'm invincible! Let's see if your transparency will stop me now!" Bowser reached out with his glowing Koopa Klaw and.passed right through King Boo's body. "WHAT?! But you said." King Boo laughed. "I lied! The only way you can damage me is if you had a flashlight and a vacuum cleaner, and since I already cast a spell on myself to protect me from the light of day, you can't do nothing' to me!" Bowser growled, then had a sudden idea. The crown on King Boo's head didn't look noncorporeal. He snatched the jeweled crown from the ghost's head. "Yoink!" "Wha-hey! Give that back!" he said angrily. Bowser waved the crown. "What? You want this thing back?" "Yes, give it to me!" "Try and get it then!" Bowser waved the crown over King Boo. The ghost tried to grab it, but Bowser pulled his hand back. "Ah, too slow. Try again!" He played cat-and-mouse with King Boo, always making sure to pull the crown away at the last instant. King Boo was, as you would imagine, furious. Bowser was having loads of fun, and the audience was having a laughing fit over his treatment of the royal ghost, but he figured it was time to stop playing around. He stomped over to the edge of the roof and faced King Boo. He dangled the crown over the edge. "You want the crown, boy? You want the crown?" "Yes, give it to me already!" screamed King Boo. "Okay boy, go fetch it!" said Bowser, dropping the crown off the stage. King Boo screamed and flew down after it, catching it inches from the ground. He smothered it with kisses before putting it back on his head. "There! Now I'll go back up there and teach that Koopa a lesson he'll.never.forget." Boo suddenly realized that he had gone below the level of recovery. He had lost. "NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!" Bowser laughed as the stage faded away and he was lowered to the ground. "Yeah! Whoo! I did it! I did it! And I didn't even take a single hit!" Bowser did a little victory dance as his followers and much of the crowd cheered. Boo sobbed and flew away, crying. What a sore loser!
Another fine match, eh? I admit, this one was more of a joke than anything else. Don't worry, the next one will be more action-packed. I think. Please review! Next time: As Bowser is congratulated for using such cunning and trickery in winning his first match, King K. Rool and Wario duke it out in the arena. Which of these two will win? The tailless crocodile, or the fat ugly Italian? Find out next time on.Super Smash Bosses!