High Society
warning: references to yaoi (homosexual) situations, (no actual lemon content)
notes: "..." is Kildean, everyone speaks it all the time... except Sydney and Ashley. they can both speak French : )
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"But if we do /that/ then the stream will never have enough momentum to reach the coast... you have to adjust the gradient..."
"If we re-contour the shore, Ashley, we'll have to move the tower..."
"No we won't... here... just give me the pen! I'll prove it!"
Sydney snorted and passed the notebook over. "I think your numbers are off."
"/I/ think..." Ashley stopped himself mid-rebuttal and sighed in frustration. "/I/ think we've been arguing about this for /far/ too long..." The mage looked up in amusement from his nest of blankets as the older man casually tossed the large sack of plans to the floor next to the bed. "I /also/ think that we really ought to get up at some point... neither of us are tired, there's no reason to lounge in bed..."
The blonde's smile was mischievous as he crawled into the knight's lap and made himself comfortable. "... But there's no reason /not/ to either..."
He ignored the man's amused snort and proceeded to demonstrate some of the perks by trailing kisses along Ashley's jaw while his hands went elsewhere. "Besides... you /are/ sleeping right now... why shouldn't you be in bed?"
"If I'm already in bed /there/ shouldn't I be doing something /else/ here?" Ashley was fully aware of the fact that he was rapidly losing this particular battle. His grumbles were growing less effective as he became distracted. "You know... being productive...?"
"This is productive..."
"You're impossible."
"Are you saying you don't want to?" Sydney paused to give him a /look/. The larger man could've stared it down, but after a moment shrugged and burrowed them both back into the blankets. It was occasionally worth it to admit the cultist was right.
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The early evening light glinted off the gentle waves as a small shape fluttered into existence and proceeded to wing it way across the water to the singular structure. Bright pink feathers ruffled in the breeze as it settled on the balcony and cautiously peered through the ornate glass doors. There was no movement inside, but a tan arm draped over the edge of the bed proved that /someone/ was there. Pausing to adjust his powdered wig and hat, the small creature let out a soft sigh an began to politely tap the glass. It took some time to get a response.
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// I don't recall asking Dolores for a wake up call... //
Ashley tried very hard to ignore the persistent tapping sound. // ...and why is she knocking on the window...? // Cursing his landlady he buried his head further under the pillow and pulled the warm body sprawled across his chest a little closer. The blonde's contented murmur took a moment to penetrate his sleepy mind but succeeded in bringing him fully awake.
// Wait... if Sydney's here... then /that/ is /not/ Dolores... // He began the tedious task of untangling himself from the excessive bedding and leveraged himself up on an elbow to glare blearily across the room. He pondered the sight a moment before rubbing his eyes and trying again. The vision refused to alter however, and admitting defeat, he gently prodded the dozing mage until he grumbled and cracked a lazy gray eye.
"Nffft... What...?"
"I think it's for you..." Ashley couldn't help but grin as the smaller man cautiously gazed over at the still knocking figure and stared in disbelief.
"...'the Hell...?"
"Maybe if you see what it wants it'll stop tapping..."
Sydney made a face. "You go, it might bite."
"'Tis wearing a doublet and pompadour... I /doubt/ it's threatening... what /is/ it anyway?"
"Flying monkey."
Ashley digested the bland statement in stages. "... Monkey...? but why /pink/...?"
Rolling out of bed while pulling on a robe, the mage stumbled to the balcony and glared at the visitor. "Yes?! What?" The creature gave a toothy grin before reaching into its small jacket and producing a large envelope. It presented its delivery with a florid bow and promptly hopped off the railing and fluttered off. Sydney scuffed the few pink feathers off the edge of the balcony in irritation before collapsing back on the bed. The knight watched in amusement as his partner glared at the elegant paper a moment before carefully breaking the seal. The envelope was addressed to "My Two Idiots" in a very decorative calligraphy.
"Müllencamp?"
"Müllencamp." The blonde scanned the note inside quickly, an eyebrow raising higher with every line read. He read it again.
"What does it say?" Ashley pulled the paper from the smaller man's perplexed grip to read it himself, puzzling through the curly Kildean script.
***
Dearest Sydney, and Ashley;
You are cordially invited to my semi-centennial Croquet Championship Garden Social in three days. Attendance is Mandatory. Formal Dress. No Weapons. BYOM. (Bring Your Own Mallet)
Your Loving Goddess;
M.
P.S.- Did you like my monkey? I made him especially for delivering these, his name is Bo.
***
"Bo." The knight was torn between laughing and shaking his head in disbelief. Sydney began to gently smack himself in the head while muttering irate curses. The larger man let him for a moment before carefully pinning the hand down. "Oye. So we get dragged to a party... how bad can it be...? Müllencamp's been away for a while, 'twould be interesting to see what she's been up to..."
"You don't understand... 'Attendance Mandatory', Ashley... That means /everybody/ is going to be there... 'Tis going to be awful..."
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Bo fluttered between tall spires and multi-colored mists searching for his next destination when he was suddenly enveloped in a massive shadow. With a monkey-shriek of terror he dove quickly out of the way of a large toothy maw attempting to devour him and settled on a near by peak. Chattering in irritation, the pink animal gestured irately at the bronze dragon until it settled its bulk near by to stare curiously. Bo produced another invitation. The dragon carefully opened the delicate note with a massive claw and held it up to farsightedly peruse the contents. The monkey, still grumbling, headed off for its next destination.
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Pompadour and hat carefully in place the monkey-messenger waved goodbye to the still giggling twins in the tree as they stared at their note. Passing through the transitory border region, it sighed in frustration as it began to dodge arrows. Beneath him a veritable army stared up in curiosity.
"/Cease fire/! Do not /maim/ the monkey!"
Bo shifted his course towards the loud voice and reached into his jacket again.
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Back in the spires of his Homeland, Chang finished reading his note for the third time. Blinking a draconic eye he incinerated it with a irate huff, and promptly set off. Something would have to be done to avert this disaster.
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Livia accepted her note calmly, and offered Bo a banana. Bo declined.
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Mole decided he liked the cute pink monkey. With a long suffering sigh Bo allowed himself to be dragged into the muddy tunnels and cuddled. He hoped the man would read his note soon.
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" Sydney! "
// Right on schedule...//
The mage looked up from the continually evolving plans for renovation to see a large shape winging at high speed towards the beach. The blonde calmly finished the last calculation and closed the inkwell in time to prevent the spray of sand from getting in. The dragon hit the beach like an overgrown cat, digging furrows in the soft surface before coming to a stop.
" Greetings Neighbor. I presume you received one of /these/ today? " Sydney held up the innocuous looking envelope and promptly shielded against the involuntary burst of flame that erupted from the new arrival.
" Stop that. "
" Sorry. " Chang resumed his human form in a swirl of scales and carefully dusted the sand from his long coat. " Instinctive reaction... " He took a moment to look around. " Oh, I see you've finally decided to move in together... about time... I got tired of coming here only to have to go /there/ and vice versa... how goes the redecorating? I see he kept the tree... "
" Yes... I've grown rather fond of it myself... as for the rest... well, we're working on it... " He gestured idly towards the notebook full of maps and calculations. " Merging our realms will likely take a while. "
The Mongolian thoughtfully tugged on his mustache and nodded in agreement. " So, how have you been? I haven't been by to see you in a while it seems, our schedules are becoming conflicted now that She had started giving you chores... "
" I am well, the work is interesting, and there is always Ashley of course. " The mage conceded the last fact with a slight smile.
" Bah. I see the initial charm of having a mate is still in effect... It's been several years now, haven't the two of you started squabbling yet? "
Sydney laughed, " We /started/ by 'squabbling'... How would we tell the difference? "
" Point taken. And how is he occupying his time? I assume he off in the Waking at present? " Chang settled himself on a corner of the blonde's beach blanket.
" He's in Spain at present... he and some German confederates are attempting to develop a better type of hand-cannon... the Spaniards are offering a considerable sum of money to beef up their military. "
" Odd I never considered your 'barbarian' to be the sort of man to encourage the warlike tendencies of others... "
" I think he's more interested in it from a metallurgical stand point than a military one... but yes if this invention takes hold... 'twould change the way things are done. "
" Noisy dirty things... hand-cannon... I dislike them. Well, I suppose that dispenses with pleasantries... We have a problem, Cub. "
" 'Garden Social'... " Sydney made a face.
" If I have to spend three hours together with Titus I'm going to have to kill him... there's just no other way to look at it... 'No Weapons' indeed... I'll have my claws... "
The mage laughed as his mentor flexed his fingers threateningly. " No, remember? 'Formal Dress' She'll make you stay human... /I/ on the other hand could probably get away with claws... But don't forget...B.Y.O.M... this could be advantageous..."
" What are you /planning/, Cub... "
" Well, She never specified that they had to be /wooden/ mallets... I bet Ashley could play the game with fair competence... with a war hammer... I've seen him nail some pretty accurate swings."
" ... And it /is/ a 'mallet'... how devious... I love it. You'll bring one too of course... "
" I was thinking something a little more subtle... but yes, it'll be 'multi-purpose'... I have to defend myself from Livia after all... "
" Yourself...? Or Ashley? " Chang grinned at the younger man's sour expression.
" Same thing is it not? I can't stand it when she gets all clingy... "
" Jealousy, Cub...? Amusing. " The man's usually clinical tones held a definite flavor of humor.
" Have you seen the way she flirts with him? It's disgusting! She's my /grandmother/... " The cultist kicked an offensive heap of sand.
" Ahhhh... No I have not yet had that 'pleasure'... And how does your chosen feel about her... attentions? "
" Well, if I don't put /my/ mallet to good use... he /will/... " Sydney's grin was wolfish.
" This is going to be one /Hell/ of a party... "
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When Ashley returned, he rapidly found work for himself outside. The mage showed no obvious outward sign of his ill humor, had merely greeted him with an absent-minded kiss before returning to his work. The nature of the books and materials littering the table in the work room however caused the Riskbreaker to raise a cautious eyebrow and calmly make his excuses. He had learned early on that it was best not to be around when the cultist was plotting mayhem. The knight was certain he'd be brought into the plan when it was required, until then he chose to spend the time peacefully recreating his workshop in a low building adjacent to the tower.
The tall man was just putting the finishing touches on a long-handled 'mallet' when Sydney put in an inquisitive appearance.
" Ooh! A Workshop! We haven't had one of these before..."
Ashley gave the hammer a loose practice swing. It looked decorative and harmless enough, but its weight was considerable.
// Pity I can't just start the party by tapping her one to the head and depositing her in a bush... Livia is going to be... interesting... // He brought himself back to the conversation as he felt thin arms rap around him from behind.
"Yes, it seemed appropriate. Had to make this toy after all, and for some reason I work better with the raw materials then by fabricating the end product... besides I can ponder some of the problems from 'work' here too... safer if one of the prototypes decides to blow up."
The mage chuckled into his back and then made a noise of displeasure. "You smell like sword polish... and soot..."
"... And sweat no doubt. That is a peril of physical labor... I suppose I could complain that you smell like... what /is/ that scent...?" Ashley pulled the smaller man around in order to better smell his hair. "Chalk? and Nightshade? What have you been up to?"
"Precautionary measures... same as you... Speaking of which can you make me a mallet tomorrow? Nothing too threatening if you please... but it has to be all of one piece... and preferably consist of Linden wood; although Rowan is also acceptable."
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The temple's grounds were decked out far more elaborately than at any other time Ashley had seen them. Instead of the traditional clean Grecian style terraces and courtyards there was a bonanza of tropical plants, several of which seemed to be more than a little animate. It was quite a change.
// Not that I make an effort to visit that often... Usually Müllencamp just stops by when she wants something done... //
The knight made a conscious effort not to attempt to loosen his stiff collar and followed his mage up the steps. The eldest of the Quartet was waiting for them. Ryo genuflected to the Riskbreaker, looking as serious as ever despite his 'festive' costume. His robes were a cheerful floral print and were accented by a large blossom tucked behind his left ear.
"Welcome Rood-Bearer! The Mistress extends her bountiful greetings and awaits you in the center courtyard... Ah Sydney, I see you have arrived as well... you know where everything is." The cultist flashed one of his more artificial smiles at the prudish priest before firmly pulling the knight into the building. He couldn't resist smirking over his shoulder though, blatantly looking over the older man's obviously Müllencamp-inspired apparel.
"Nice toga. But I'm not sure that pink is your color..." Sydney could feel the glare directed at his back as he guided his companion away from the irritating man. The arm beneath his grip gradually relaxed.
// 'Tis a little early to make a scene yet, Ashley... Braining the man would accomplish little. //
// Could he have /been/ any more insulting? //
// You should see them when I come here alone... //
// Really... //
The mage looked up in alarm at the man's 'too-calm' tone. // Don't even think about it. They /are/ the eldest... they can be snooty as it pleases them... not like they can /do/ anything... I could probably take the four of them together with almost no effort. //
// So why let them do that... //
// Stop being so protective... they're not worth it. Well... maybe later... but only for fun. //
Sydney gave his croquet mallet a practice swing, swiping at a pot of writhing tendrils. The wooden mallet made grazing contact with one of the vines and made a curious chiming noise. The plant immediately froze in place, rock hard. The mage chuckled, pulling the still curiously staring swordsman along.
" You came! " Müllencamp was all smiles and cheerfulness as she swept down on them like a tidal wave. Her silks were an even more riotous assembly of color than usual.
// What does she mean by that?! The note said 'Attendance Mandatory'... //
// Hush Ashley... be polite. //
The cultist and the goddess soon fell into an animated discussion of her recent adventures and Ashley found himself at liberty to settle at one of the decorative tables positioned around the clearing. None of the other major personalities had put in an appearance yet and he idly wondered when Chang would arrive. He cautiously sipped the punch delivered by a curious black and white bird and watched as the remaining three members of the Quartet supervised the various elements of the set up. Pyr and Doz in their matching togas carefully arranged the last of the large potted-plants, while Kia kept a careful eye on a small army of the waddling birds. Each of the short creatures was equipped with a towel and a silver tray; they seemed very dexterous despite their lack of hands.
// Huh... but with those tiny wings... amphibious? They have duck-like feet... Another of Müllencamp's custom creations no doubt. //
He was distracted from his reverie by a gentle tug at his boot. Suddenly wary of the long tablecloths, Ashley slowly peered under the heavy fabric.
" Hello Mole. "
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No one was quite certain when Lynn and Lon made their arrival but the other three guests all arrived almost simultaneously. The Mongolian made a bee-line for Ashley's table, his iridescent robes fluttering behind him and giving silent voice to his already frazzled temper. Almost as soon as he sat down, a small bird trotted up with a cup of tea. Chang stared perplexed at the animal as it waddled off.
" Is that a Penguin?! "
The Riskbreaker simply shrugged. " What's a 'penguin'? "
Both men fell into silent contemplation of the well laden sideboard; watching as the occasional small hand darted down from the foliage above, or up from under the table, to snatch various pieces of food.
" This place gets too weird. "
" Indeed."
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Sydney was not having a good time but he could at least delight in the fact that Livia was having a worse one. The croquet course was more than big enough to allow the ten serious players to form a single game if you didn't take the size of the various egos into account. Lynn and Lon weren't playing by the convenient excuse that they had forgotten their mallets, although frankly the mage wondered how they would've played since they would have had to leave the thick vegetation to come onto the green. Mole had been promptly disqualified by trying to "burrow" under the carefully manicured lawn and then proceeding to eat his ball.
// I wonder if /I/ could get away with that... but her ball looks to be solid gold or some such nonsense... besides I /really/ want to beat the snot out of her... //
He kept his polite smile firmly in place as she tapped her ball through two wickets in a row with a smirk. Livia was the only player ahead of him on the course but seemed to take deliberate delight in only moving forward just enough to keep ahead, but not out distance him completely. Her golden ball chimed melodically as it came to rest directly in front of the next gate as she finished her turn. She had been deliberately doing just that for the last eight wickets. Livia smiled sweetly. Sydney resisted the urge to grind his teeth.
" It seems we get to wait until the turn comes back to you again... " She adjusted a perfect golden ringlet with the flick of a finger.
" So it seems... "
" We never talk any more, Sydney... you really must come visit me more often. "
" I've been a little busy, Livia... "
" /Grandmother/, Sydney... show some respect. " She was too busy watching Titus fumble his turn to see the cultist roll his eyes. " But you're busy? Really? Whatever do you do? Nothing important surely... You're far too young for much responsibility... But Chang tells me that you and the Rood Bearer had recently consolidated your realms... I found the news rather unbelievable... "
Across the small field he caught Ashley's eye and made an eloquent face. The knight kept his expression blank, but there was a definite twinkle in their brown depths. " Unbelievable? Why is that, I wonder... "
Müllencamp gave a tremendous swing -causing a massive divot- and her ball slowly rolled forward two feet before pausing, and continuing at a course ninety degrees from before. It rolled through the gate. She bowed as the Quartet applauded appreciatively.
" I just thought it strange... Now that he is no longer receiving instruction for you, I would have thought he would've grown more independent... not less. I wonder that he doesn't tire of your company... you can be... tedious at times, Sydney. " She smiled benevolently at the younger man.
" We seem to get along quite well, but thank you for your concern. " Visions of throttling the gauzy-gowned woman danced in the back of his head. Ashley took his turn, not really trying to advance his position; Chang did likewise.
She turned her eyes back to the Riskbreaker, obviously admiring the sculpted muscles hinted at through his silk shirt. " A man of his /abilities/ deserves to be... treated with /care/... Maybe I should stop by some time an see if there is anything he needs... " When the knight looked over, she gave a little wave. Sydney rolled his eyes again.
" I assure you, /Grandmother/, we are both perfectly satisfied with arrangements as they are now... and will likely remain so for some time... Your interference is both unnecessary and undesirable... "
" But Sydney, as pretty as you are, you can't possibly fulfill /all/ his needs... a man like that... he shouldn't have to content himself with mere school-fellow companionship... Yes, I really must invite him over... for his own /good/... " Her voice turned musing as she pondered the problem, completely oblivious to the way her young relative's hands had developed an almost white-knuckled grip on his mallet.
// Syd, why don't you just tell her that I had you twice on the kitchen table yesterday and have done with the conversation if she bothers you that much? You're wound so tight that 'tis giving /me/ a headache... //
The aristocratic woman eyed her companion in concern as he suddenly doubled over in a strange fit of coughing. It took him several seconds to get his breath back and he circumspectly blotted his eyes as he waved off her worried suggestions that he get a drink.
// Don't /do/ that! I almost laughed in her face! //
// Would you like /me/ to tell her? I will... //
// No! I promised Chang that I wouldn't antagonize her today... although if she says one more thing about your /needs/... so help me god... //
// As you like... But it /would/ shut her up... // The thought faded with gentle good humor as the knight once more entered conversation with the short Asian.
Sydney took another calming breath before realizing that it was his turn. Assessing the situation of the gates, his smile became beatific.
// /Finally/... I've got you... pride before the fall, Livia... //
" As I was about to say... before I... umm... inhaled some pollen... was that so far Ashley has had no complaints about anything /lacking/ in our relationship, for either the business or the intimate elements... but I'll be certain to inform him of your offer... should he ever change his mind... " He carefully angled his first shot through the wicket and moved to line up the second.
" How could you possible compare what /you/... /do/... to the passion that a woman can incite in a man?... I'm certain he is somehow coerced into maintaining what is obviously an unsatisfactory arrangement... "
// 'Coerced'?! Oh that tears it ... // Sydney calmly took the next shot, deliberately driving his ball through the wicket and solidly impacting with Livia's.
// Ashley, tell Chang I'm sorry... but I really have to hurt Livia /right now/...The truce is off, he has my permission to take a shot at Titus whenever he pleases... //
// Sydney? //
Livia's eyes became suddenly panicked as she watched the mage place the balls side-by-side with a smirk. " 'What I /do/'...? " He carefully measured the distance to the nearest fountain with a calculating eye.
" Don't you /dare/ grandchild... "
Sydney ignored her protest, his voice taking on a sadistic tone, " ... I believe the word you're looking for is /sodomy/, Grandmother... Or perhaps /fucking/... Which /yes/, we do partake of... and /yes/ is immensely satisfying for /both/ of us. In addition to which there is the painfully simple fact that unlike /you/, I love him for considerably more that what is in his pants! " With a sharp swing from his stick, the golden ball executed a perfect arc and landed with a splash in the bubbling pool. " Now... Why don't you go away. I have nothing further to say to you today. " The cultist chipped his ball through the next wicket and took his last shot, leaving him with only one gate before the pole that marked the final point in the game.
Livia, left with no alternative but to swallow her pride and retrieve her ball, shut her gaping mouth with an audible snap and stalked off.
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Ashley was certain that the dragon-form or not, Chang was about to start breathing fire. Their original, unspoken, plan was to deliberately lag behind the other players so as to not have to put up with any additional insanity. The knight felt a little bad at first in leaving Sydney several gates ahead with only his problematic relative for company, but he had no intention of trying to navigate his ball through the congestion of Müllencamp and the Quartet's gates in order to catch the two distant blondes. He was certain that his blunt comments would not help matters anyway. The mage could take care of himself, but who was going to take care of Titus? Needless to say the failing of their particular strategy made itself known as they realized what an abominable player the Roman was. No matter how bad Ashley and Chang endeavored to be, the other man simply never pulled ahead. For the Mongolian, it was infuriating.
" Just /hit/ the ball, /Citizen/... No! not /that/ way! " The small man began to chew the end of his mustache once more in irritation. The legionnaire glowered menacingly at the other two men and went to stand next to his ball.
" This game is too girly for me, now /dueling/... That's /my/ idea of good entertainment... This nonsense with balls and sticks and rules and such... no wonder Sydney is good at it, and those three Grecian pansies... put them all in dresses I say... then you won't tell the difference between them and the women... I'm actually /surprised/ at /you/ Dragon-Cur, you've already got the dress, but you seem to play as badly as the Bearer and I do... maybe there's hope for you yet... " Having spoken his peace, Titus, waved for a fresh glass of wine from the ever attentive waddling steward.
Ashley and Chang exchanged a long look, the situation was growing intolerable. The robed man casually knocked his ball off course and into the Roman's while the man's attention was turned. Ashley smiled. Chang smiled. Titus' ball went soaring into the bush currently inhabited by Lynn and Lon, a moment later a muffled munching could be heard. The legionnaire swore a fierce oath and stalked off to attack the bushed with his mallet. The knight took his turn and deliberately bounced his ball off the side of the wooden gate. It was really far more challenging to get it to bounce of the narrow band of wood.
" Now that /that's/ taken care of... what were we talking about again? " Chang looked cautiously around, and seeing no one paying any attention, he rolled his ball closer with his foot.
" I believe you were going to tell me exactly how the modernization of projectile weaponry will bring about the end of "civilized warfare" as we know it... pray, continue. "
" Ah, so I was... " Some gates ahead of them, Müllencamp's ball tapped against Kia's and proceeded to devoured it whole. The priestess, long aquatinted with the goddess' whimsical humor, simply shrugged and smiled. Her fellow priests hesitated a moment before resuming their clapping as usual. If Müllencamp was happy, /they/ were happy.
Sydney was happy. He lazily bounced his ball off the final pole, signifying victory, and then tossed it under the table for Mole. The goddess waved in congratulation and continued to play as he wandered over to the fountain to see how his grandmother faired in retrieving her ball. She was standing in the pool, scanning the depths grumpily only to look up at his approach. Her fake politeness, like his, was no longer in effect.
" You are a monster, Sydney Barbadora... you know that right? A miserable, scrawny, effeminate excuse for a fop who doesn't know shit about shit, but /thinks/ that he does. You'll never amount to anything at all, you're a disappointment just like your Fa... " The cultist cut her off with a gentle tap from his mallet. Frozen, she stood half soaked in the fountain, mouth agape and hand pointing at where Sydney had been standing. He calmly fished her ball out of the fountain and balanced it on top her pointed finger, tapping it as well so that it would stay in place. She could do nothing but glare as he stepped back to artistically assess his work before bowing slightly and wandering off to get another glass of punch. The sound of laughter came from under the table.
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" What the Devil's the matter with Livia? " Chang had long since given up any pretext of being interested in the rapidly depopulating game in order to stare curiously at the 'posed' woman.
" Sydney, if I had to guess... I have to admit... she looks good... it really expresses her natural personality... " Ashley used his mage-sight and watched a moment as the woman slowly began to pick at the complex bindings on the enchantment.
" If she can get out of that without help... I'll be impressed... " Chang dissolved his giant mallet with a look and kicked his wooden ball to join Sydney's under the long table. " Right then, I'm leaving... I think I've had about all the /fun/ I can handle from /this/ crowd... Do you still want to practice next week? "
" Umm... Yes, why not... if you're available... " The shorter man followed the Riskbreaker's gaze over to where Sydney was watching the still-shouting soldier attacking a giggling hedge. The hedge appeared to be winning. The blonde smacked the back of the helmeted-head with his mallet. Titus, now human-statuary, was rapidly swamped with various garlands of flowers from the twins in the bush. Chang blinked in surprise and then laughed long and loud before dissolving in a shimmering light.
The mage stalked over and handed Ashley a glass of punch.
"Well, /our/ work here is done... what do you think, home?"
"/Home/." Sydney smirked at the knight's empathetic agreement. Tossing a jaunty salute to his goddess, he linked arms with the taller man and they strolled out of the building.
"I still don't believe you wanted me to tell Livia that you /had/ me on the kitchen table... That was such a..."
"...Cruel thing to say?"
"I was /going/ to say, 'Such a lie.'... You've /never/ had me on the kitchen table." The blonde smirked.
"I wasn't aware it was something that needed to be addressed... It probably wouldn't be very comfortable. Maybe if we piled some bedding on top..."
"Sometimes you're so practical it makes me sick."
"Sorry."
"No you're not."
"Not really, no... So you still want to?"
"On the table? Hmmm to be honest, I'd prefer the bed. Fewer splinters."
Ashley finally cracked a smile and scooped the blonde up, carrying him home.
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In the courtyard, Müllencamp, Lynn, Lon and Mole started playing Duck-Duck-Goose amidst the planters while the Quartet began to clean up. Livia's statue was hoisted out of the fountain by an amused Ryo who carefully placed her in a wheelbarrow to be taken home. Titus, buried in a mound of flora, was mistaken for a plant and went undiscovered for several hours.
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Wow... this was pointless... : ) Can you believe I wrote this whole chapter for no other point than to introduce Chang? Ah well I love PWP omake style pieces... but I wonder if this is funny for other people too... And I wonder if Sydney is strictly /in character/ for the whole thing... but he does have a mean streak running under all that urbanity after all, and Livia really is an annoying creature... originally I was going to have Ashley thwack her one... but I liked the idea of human-statuary better... So you've now met "the neighbors" originally I was going to write a whole multi-part story about this stuff but I realized it would just be silly... so I wrote this instead. I love Müllencamp... even when she cheats. Righty-o!
big thanks to.... oh, Disney's Mary Poppins for the bloody penguins (I love those damn things). 'Wizard of Oz' for inventing the general concept of 'flying monkey' an idea that just never gets old for me... And 'Alice in Wonderland' for the idea of a freaky croquet match from Hell... This is one of the few games I know of that might have existed in the Renaissance so Croquet it is :) besides... I /like/ Croquet... it's a vicious mean spirited game. : )
See ya,
Lunar.
http://www.roodinverse.homestead.com