Don't own anything recognisable from JK Rowling's Harry Potter books.

Chapter 7

Green eyes.

Sirius was wandering down the corridor to the great hall thinking about Pat's confession last night. She had enjoyed herself, she had told him that with her thank you.

He got hot under the collar just thinking about the thank you. After she had left he had taken an icy cold shower, completely forgetting about the washing up he had to do.

It hadn't helped, especially when his x-rated dreams of her and what he'd wanted to do to her, had meant that it was imperative that he take another in the morning in case he embarrassed himself in front of his first class. He looked around the great hall searching for the red-haired goddess he had seen last night. Instead he noticed another familiar woman.

"Lunar?" Sirius was overjoyed when he saw his younger sister standing in the great hall.

"Lunar!" He called out again as he ran down the stairs.

He enveloped her in a huge hug. "What are you doing here?" He took in the pile of suitcases that his narcissistic sister had brought. 'Enough for two lifetimes!' He thought.

His eyes narrowed. "I thought you couldn't get any holiday this year?"

She laughed, tossing her blonde shiny hair back and forth, which reminded Sirius of the Women's magazine she had read that in. 'How to influence people with one look.'

"Of course I can get a holiday!" She said after looking at the state of the great hall's floor, wrinkling her nose and whispering "Wingardium Leviosa" at her suitcases. "What do you take me for? A workaholic?"

Sirius, sighing at his sister's crumpled nose, picked up her bags.

"Don't you have porters for that?" she asked looking at her fingernails as if she had chipped a nail.

"Of course madam, that would be me. Would you like a room? Or shall we give you the 5 star experience, and just lock you in the tower with a crust of stale bread?" His eyes twinkled with merriment (A/N I don't know where that word came from!).

"Oh, Sirius! You always were a big joker!" She bubbled.

'That's what you think!' He walked up the stairs to one of the spare rooms used by pupil's guests, and imagined all sorts of torture devices. Sirius loved his sister dearly, but she could be a pain in the arse sometimes!

'Especially when it came to men!' He decided as he passed Nearly-headless Nick, Professor Flitwick, and Professor Dumbledore on the way.

He looked at his sister flouncing down the corridor. The articles he had read to her had paid off. 'How to win friends and influence Ghosts.' Made Nick hide behind a pillar as she smiled the widest smile you have ever seen. '10 ways to make your boss notice you' made Dumbledore choke on his lemon drop as she waved saucily at him.

'How can she wave saucily?' Sirius thought.

It was '50 ways to attract the man of your dreams.' That made Professor Flitwick trip over and do a double somersault before landing on his bottom painfully. He was running away from Lunar playing with her hair and winking at him.

'Can she not give it a REST?' Sirius could have screamed at this point. Eventually, after what seemed like years of torture they reached the room.

"Okay! We're on our own, would you drop the act!" Sirius all but yelled at Lunar.

"I have a reputation to maintain! I can't be seen to be intelligent when all my admirers expect me to blonde and beautiful!" She collapsed in a fit of giggles. "Its only an act! No need to take it so seriously! After working day and night sending letters to people…" She put on a voice. "… 'Dear Sir or Madam, We understand you have been using unlawful magic. Please be warned that there are strict rules about this' etc etc etc. Can't I have a bit of fun when I'm away from there? Besides you really shouldn't get at me you know. Not when I'm risking my career to get a certain file…"

She dug in her bag and dug out a brown envelope. Sirius made a grab for the folder just as she snatched it back. "No way older brother, not until you tell me why you want this."

"I asked Andromeda to get it as well!" He said while flushing an alarming shade of pink.

"Don't change the subject, big bro. Oh and bigger sis sends her love as well, she was the one who sent me here. She said "You must go and deliver this to Sirius. When my baby brother starts checking up on women, you know he's getting serious."." She started opening the envelope. "I haven't read this... yet." She looked at him and took in the redness of his cheeks. "Blushing as well! Well big brother. Would you like to tell me about her or do I have to read it?"

He growled at her, the pink deepened to red. "Give me the file."

She looked at him the same way she had done when they were kids. She was determined to get the truth out of him. This made her an excellent member of staff for the Ministry.

"Her name's Pat Carver, and she's an Auror for the ministry." He said bluntly.

"Yes… and… ?"

He sighed resignedly.

"I don't know… she knows everything about me. I know practically nothing about her… except…" He trailed off.

"Except… ?" Lunar pounced on that word.

Sirius looked at Lunar and scowled. "I am not going to say any more." He said firmly.

She sighed and handed him the folder despairingly.

"So…" She asked brightly, deliberately changing the subject. "what are we going to do now?"

~ ~ ~ ~ * ~ ~ ~ ~

"… But you don't like Professor Trelawney! You told me she couldn't predict the future of a snail!"

Pat stopped dead in the corridor overhearing Hermione's outburst. She approached the empty classroom. The door was open a crack and she could see Harry and Hermione arguing. Harry's back was to the door, but Hermione's face was flushed with annoyance.

"She said that someone I trusted would betray me and then I would die!" You couldn't mistake Harry's voice for anyone else's.

"She also said that you would die the first time she met you! Last week she said that Ron's hand would be cut off, and that a freak hurricane would strike Hogwarts! And did that happen? No!" Hermione was getting increasingly angry. "Besides Harry, Sirius would never do anything to hurt you!"

"But all the accidents I've been having recently. And she also predicted that Voldemort would come back! You weren't there for that but she did." Harry's voice became louder and louder.

"Harry!" Hermione had to practically scream to be heard. "Did she say the word Sirius? Huh?" Hermione's voice croaked at the stress of screaming, so she lowered her voice and changed tack.

"Did she just say that someone would betray you? Or did she make up some other predictions that will come true?"

Harry shuffled uncomfortably on the spot. Hermione decided this was a yes. "Well? What else did she say?"

"She told me that Hagrid would elope with Professor McGonagall, and … that Ron would turn into a fish." Harry mumbled reluctantly.

"There… you see! She doesn't know anything! Besides it was kind of obvious at lunchtime when you ignored Sirius that something was wrong. She probably wanted to prove that she could predict something that would come true for once!"

Pat moved away from the classroom. She didn't like the sound of that. If Sirius and Harry weren't talking then Harry had no one to protect him. She decided to approach Dumbledore about the situation.

~ ~ ~ ~ * ~ ~ ~ ~

Sirius and Lunar were in the Staff room. Sirius was keeping a watchful eye on the door, so that if Pat came near he could take her away before Lunar questioned her in a manner that rivalled the Spanish Inquisition for technique, and results.

Lunar was renewing old acquaintances with the professors.

"Oh, Albus! That's the funniest thing I ever heard! Did you hear that Sirius? Ohhhh! I'll be laughing all the time I'm here!" She looked at Sirius and shrewdly said. "Sirius? Are you paying attention to anything we're saying or are you looking out for your Auror?"

She got up and started outrageously acting. "Oh, Auror. Auror! Wherefore art thou Auror? But what's in a name? An Auror by any other name would kiss as sweet?" She knelt down at his feet. "Does she big brother? Does she kiss sweetly?"

Sirius flushed in embarrassment. To take his mind off of the woman at his feet and to gain time to answer the question he looked around the staff room at the other teachers. Professor McGonagall and Dumbledore were red in the face with the uncontrollable laughter they were trying to suppress. Snape looked as happy as he could with the thought of Sirius' discomfiture, and Flitwick was in hysterics, he almost fell off his chair.

"Ummm…" Sirius began, he was interrupted by a vicious comment from Snape.

 "You mean you have to think about it? She was either a good kisser or she wasn't. Which was it?" A gleam of satisfaction appeared in Snape's eye.

"Uhh…."

Lunar was getting tired of Sirius not answering the question. She climbed onto his lap, and twisted his hair with her fingers.

"Come on Sirius baby. Was it a wet dead fish, or a case of… I don't know…"

She moved herself so she was facing him and screamed.

"I love you! I love you! I want your children! Marry me my darling and we shall be together forever!"

"Yeah!" Sirius yelped as Lunar did a Chinese burn on her arm.

A gasp of astonishment came from the door. Every face turned towards Pat as she ran from the door.

Sirius stood up quickly. Lunar, who was still on his lap at this point was unceremoniously dumped on the floor.

"Looks like she likes you too big bro.!" Lunar said wryly as she picked herself up off the floor. "Do you want me to go and explain… ?" Sirius waved her into silence as he stalked from the room.

"Not now. I have to go find her."

Lunar shrugged and faced the other teachers. "Sounds like wedding bells!!" She grinned.

"So… tell me about the girl who has snagged my brother's heart?"

~ ~ ~ ~ * ~ ~ ~ ~

Pat headed back off to her room. Her thought filled with Sirius' red face as he…

"Damn the man to hell!" She growled.

She stormed into her room and threw herself on the bed.

"Should have known he was that type! Blonde hair, blue eyes, Bimbo!"

She couldn't stop her cruel sadistic mind from replaying the scene. Sirius in the arms of a gorgeous woman. Looking very embarrassed as the other teachers around him laughed!

"They probably knew about her. They were in on the joke! Play about with the Auror. Mess with her mind. Then dump her."

The bimbo had proposed to him! And he had said Yeah, as if he was in pain!.

"The bastard!" She cried out.

She heard the soft knocking on the door. She knew who it was.

"Go drown yourself, you creep! I trusted you!" She changed tack. "What would have happened last night if I hadn't stopped us? huh? You would have cheated on her with me! Made me feel like a cheap common… "

She turned her back towards the door in an unconscious way of shutting him out, but kept on yelling. Not even stopping to draw breath.

"… Don't even think about talking to me while I'm here! Don't even think about coming near me! Shows how stupid I am huh? I even thought I could love you at one point! …"

Her throat constricted at the word love. She was nearing tears, but still the tirade of insults carried on. "But that's all over now! You… you… evil, ungrateful, cheating swine! I could swing for you right now but that would be too…" She turned to face the door but instead collided with something. Something solid and black. Something that smelt of spices and mint.

"Sirius?!?! How the hell did you get in here?" She shook her head in revulsion. "Never mind that. Get out of here!"

"You thought you could love me?" He asked tenderly. "Is that what this is about?"

"No!" She screamed. "Its about you and your blonde bimb… fiancé!"

"The blonde girl, who was sat on me. Pestering me about you, and pretending to be me screaming I love you, was my sister Lunar."

"Your sister? ……. You love me?"

"Yes." He grinned. She screwed up her eyes and looked at him suspiciously.

"Yes to what? Yes she's your sister, or …. "

"Or…. ?"

"Or yes… you love me." She looked at him straight in the eye.

"Yes… to both."

A/N

I know… bit speedy isn't he?

Just a quick note today.

Thanks for the offer Sirius of Askaban, but I can't accept the offer. A/ I'd prefer to keep my stuff on the web, so everyone can read it. And B/ I am over 18. (Thanks for the big compliment)

Thanks to Blondieindisguise, Sapphireskies and PrincessSelphie for continuing (Or just beginning! (love new readers!)) to read and review my work! Please keep them coming! All your reviews keep me going!

Jestr017 – thanks for reading and reviewing. Don't worry about having something "witty or super-fun to say", many of my chapters don't!

Again Siriuslyinlove thanks for 'r&r'ing. I agree, a man who cooks is great! (Shame I can't find one!) You want more action? Hmmm…. I'll think about it!

Mrs Grim! I wouldn't know how many people Sirius has slept with! Thanks for the compliments! I'll take into account the fact that you think Pat is stupid! (Although I think in this chapter that Sirius and Lunar act more idiotically!) No! Unfortunately Pat is not modelled after me! (I wish!) Although you are right – she is probably someone I would like to be! (Or as you put it the ideal me!) (Then again the heroines of most of my stories are based loosely around the ideal me!) (Hope you enjoyed your prom!)

Please review! Comments and questions are welcome!

(I know it's hard to think of a review! It takes me a while as well!)

Love to you all.

Krusty.

Xxx

Oh yeah! P.S. Lunar parodies Shakespeare's Romeo and Juliet. (It's not mine either!)