The follwing story is one of absolute insanity, and uses a wide range of references and characters of different tvs/movies/other stuff including, Back to the Future, Gundam Wing, Dragon Ball Z, Weird Science, and much more! This is the third in the Goofball Z? series (although it's more like an actual sequel as opposed to GBZ 2 1/2 which just had a guy getting squished by a foot), and was conceived by the insane minds of TXA (Formally known as Howard) and Bob Barker (Not to be confused with the Game Show Host). So far there is only one chapter done, but there is a lot more to come, and it's going to get A LOT more weirder, including The Incredibly Odd Highly Anime Influenced Chapter.
Also for those who have NOT read the previous ones, it is okay. Here is a basic summary of the previous GBZ fics.
The 7 Goofballs were an odd group of super heroes lead by the old yet dead sexy Howard from Gundam Wing, and also consisted of ALF, Sailor Moon, Goku from DBZ, MC Hammer, Brock from Pokemon and Canadian Television Children's icon: Mr. Dressup. When or why they formed is pretty much unknown. Anyways, there adventures started when Princess Relena accidentally found them and asked for them to help save the Sanc Kingdom from the forces of OZ, which goes through various leadership changes including Mike from Canmore, Brain from Pinky and the Brain and Purple Tentacle from Day of the Tentacle. The Goofballs, along with the aid of Relena, went on the quest for the 7 dragon balls so they could use them to restore the Sanc Kingdom. To make a long story short, they managed to get all the Dragon Balls and save the day with that specific wish, along with the wish for Bowser from the Mario games to fulfill his dream of becoming a Harlem Globe Trotter. Unfortunately, by the end of their adventure they had lost Sailor Moon and MC Hammer. This was their last adventure. Two years later the rest of them decided to split up and go their seperate ways. It looked as if they wouldn't have to rejoin until one year aftter their parting that Howard received a phone call to reassamble the group.
Unfortuently, just as was about to this he was squished by a giant foot, ala Monty Python.
And now for "Goofball Z? Pi: The Irrational Story"
_________________________
Our story begins in the Hill Valley mall parking lot back in good old 1985...
"You made a time machine out of the Delorean!" shouted Marty.
"Well, you might as well travel through time in style." replied the Doc.
"Wow, we could go anywhere in time! This is gonna be cool!"
"You know that old batman show? Where they all wore tights and the fighting scenes had big words appear on the screen?"
"Yeah!"
"Ok, you must go back in time, and get me batman's autograph!"
"All right!"
Marty quickly jumps into the Delorean and gets her up to 88 mph. Suddenly Marty finds himself in an old batman episode.
He sees the Batmobile zoom past followed by a clown car. Marty observes the exchange of gunfire, and quickly gets involved and follows after the 2 vehicles. Somehow the Batmobile breaks down and the Joker's henchmen are able to capture Batman. Just as they are about to throw him into their clown car a fancy car pulls up beside them. The hydraulic door flies open, and a space man (Marty in his radiation suit) emerges from the craft.
"It's YOU!" says one of the henchmen.
"How are you gentlemen? All your base are belong to us. You are on the way to destruction."
"What you say?"
"You have no chance to survive, make your time. Ha Ha Ha!"
The henchmen quickly hand Batman over to Marty and then quickly speed off in their clown car.
Batman and Marty quickly hop into the Delorean (Marty stays in the radiation suit).
"Thanx for rescuing me."
"No problem."
"Oh, a radio," said batman as he turned on the Flux Capacitor. "Let's listen to 200.1..."
"Sure whatever," says Marty who isn't really paying much attention to Batman,
"Hey, space dude, I think those thugs realized the mistake that they made. They are following us..."
Marty floors it. Suddenly as their speed reaches the speed of 88 mph, they hear a sonic boom, followed by a crash and them some shouting.
"My garage!! You destroyed my garage!" shouted Howard.
The Delorian opened up within the mess of utter chaos, and out popped Marty and Batman, who were still slightly dazed from the crash.
"I expect the two of you to clean up this mess right now, and not to leave until it's cleaned up!", Howard added.
"But we...", uttered the slightly bewildered Marty.
"Look, I don't care who you are. You could be Batman and some teenager from 1985 who are time travelling in a Delorian that was crated by some insane professor, it doesn't matter. I still expect you two to clean this disaster up.", said Howard.
"Can at least ask you one question: What year is it?", asked Marty.
"Well, last I checked it was 2001, but my memory has been kind of foggy ever since I was squished by a giant foot two months ago. There's still something I'm susposed to do but I can't seem to remember what that is, but that's none of your business now clean my garage."
And so Marty and Batman laboured throughout the day cleaning and rearranging the garage until they decided that they deserved a well earn break. Howard allowed the two to take a short, and the two of them decided to raid Howard's cupboards and fridge to see what he had. Batman was particularly looking for some bananas because he had an uncontrolable craving for some bananas. Unfortuently, he discovered Howard had no bananas.
"I see you have no bananas", Batman pointed out to Howard.
Suddenly those lines turned a light bulb inside Howard's head. He remember saying line's like those before, and he finally remembered the thing he was suspossed to do.
"I'M SUSPOSED TO REASEMBLE MY SUPER HERO GROUP THE GOOFBALLS!!", exclaimed Howard.
"Wha?", asked the puzzled Marty.
"Quick get the phone books! I have some important calls to make!", Howard cied out.
In no time, Howard was busy making calls , but quickly realized that besides him, there were only two other remaing goofballs out of the original 7, for Sailor Moon and MC Hammer had dissappeaered back when they went in search of Treize, Brock had mysteriously vanished after saying something about going to some island in the Caribean, and Mr. Dressup had recently passed away about a month or two ago. This left only him, ALF and Goku.
The 3 remaining Goofballs had reasembled at Howard's pad, while Marty and Batman had returned to cleaning the garage.
"What are we going to do?" asked Goku.
"I dunno," replied ALF.
"What kinda superhero group are we? Just an ugly alien, a guy with immeasurable strength, and a handsome guy," asked Howard.
"You aren't an alien, Howard," said ALF.
"I guess we need to replace everybody! But how do you replace guys like Mr. Dressup and MC Hammer? We need a guy who dresses strangly and a guy with some musical background! It's not like guys like that just walk suddenly appear!" stated Howard as Marty and Batman finished fixing the garage and walked into the kitchen.
"Now that we helped you, Can you help us?" asked Marty.
"What do you need?" asked Howard.
"We need to to generate 1.21 Gigawatts of power to return to our own times. And we know that, unlike in 1985, you can easily generate that kind of power," says Marty.
"Right... Like that is going to happen!" says Howard.
"Not even i have that kind of power!" says Goku.
"What the hell is a Gigawatt???" asked ALF.
So it was decided that they would have to stay in the present forever.
"Why don't you 2 become goofballs? Marty, you have some connections to music and Batman you are smart and dress funny!" says Howard.
It was then decided that this was a great idea!
"We need to lure Brock back... THe Question is... HOW?" exclaimed ALF.
"From my heart and from my hand. Why don't people understand my intentions?" said Goku.
"huh?"
"I saw it in a movie once we can use a computer to create female goofball using a computer! She will be so hot that she will lure Brock back for sure! Then there will once again be 7 of us." said Goku.
"THAT IDEA IS TERRIBLE!" says ALF
"Then what do YOU suggest we do?", inquired Howard.
"We'll hold auditions at Howard's place for the remanig two Goofballs two days from now and forget about Brock entirely. That way we don't have to worry about what happens if our plan doesn't lure Brock back."
"That sounds like a great idea", said Howard.
"Can we have pizza, before the auditions?", asked Batman.
"Yes. Yes we can, but we can only have Frozen pizzas because I HATE delivery."
And so the Goofballs put out an ad for the auditions ,and two days later the five of them met an hour before the audtions prepare, and to eat pizza.
"I THOUGHT I SAID NO DELIVERY!", exclaimed Howard.
"But it's not Delivery. It's Delapierno!", debated Goku.
"I don't care what fancy words you use to descrive it! It looks and tastes like delivery to me.", answered Howard.
Because the nearest grocery store was quite a ways from Howard's house, the four other goofballs quickly cutted out a circualr piece of card board, spreaded ketchup, meat and cheese on it, and then had Goku do a quick little attack on it to cook it.
"Mmmmmmmmmmmm...tastes just like frozen pizzas...", responded Howard as he munched on the cardboard.
After the goofballs finished up eating their pizza and their cardboard, it was then time for the auditions to begin. The five goofballs sat at a table while one by one, a person from the large lineup came up to convince them why they would be suited to be in the group. The first of the auditioners was a short metallic robot.
"What is your name?", questioned Batman.
"I am Astar, a robot from planet danger. I can put my arm back on, you can't so hahaha."
"WHAT YOU THINK YOU'RE BETTER THAN US JUST BECAUSE YOU CAN STICK A LIMB BACK ON YOUR BODY?!", exclaimed Alf, "We here at the goofballs don't accept Male Chicken y people like you."
The other four turned towards Alf with a strange look because of his remark involving male chickens.
"I didn't mean to say "Male Chicken y" I meant to say Male Chicken y."
They continued to stare at Alf, then Goku pointed towards a sinister looking fellow in the shadows and cried out, "I think HE'S Behind this!"
The sinister looking fellow started to laugh an evil maniacle laugh. "Yes I am behind Alf's strange use of words, for I am THE EVIL FILTER! And I censor out whatever words might seem offensive even if it's just a word that contains it in there like Alf's Male Chicken y."
"Get out of here, Evil Filter", said the annoyed Howard," We're trying to hold auditions and we don't need you messing our words up."
"Very well, then, but I may return", and with that he let out another evil maniacle laugh and soon was off.
"Now where were we before we were so rudely interrupted", said Howard getting back to the auditions and turning towards the robot with the ability to stick his arm back on, " Oh yes, now I remeber...
NEXT!"
"Hi, I'm Mike from Canmore"
"Hey, Didn't you die in the first Goofball Z??" asked Howard.
"He must be an imposter!!!" cried ALF as he brought out a big stick.
"I best return to Canmore! Come on Norm, to the Mikemobile!" said Mike as they quickly sped off.
"NEXT!"
"Hey, I'm Bob Mackenzie and this is my brother Doug eh."
"Good Day Eh!" said Doug.
"We want to be superheros eh!"
"Do you have any experience?" asked Howard.
"Yeah, we do eh. Here you go hoser," said Doug as he handed Howard Strange Brew (the movie not a bottle).
So they watched Strange Brew
"Ha ha ha! You guys are hilarious!! NEXT!!!" exclaimed Howard.
A short little blonde girl wearing coveralls walks up to the Goofballs.
"What are you doing, funny mustache man?", she asked.
"We're holding auditions for our 6th and 7th Goofballs", answered Howard.
"Why?"
"Because we're susposed to be the 7 Goofballs, and we only have 5"
"Why?"
"Because they mysteriously vanished off the face of the earth"
"Why?"
"Because they were looking for Treize Krushenda who also mysteriusly vanished off the face of the earth"
"Why?"
"Nobody knows"
"Why?"
"Because it's mysterious"
"Why?"
"Quit asking WHY! Your either here to audition or you're not here at all."
The small little girl paused for a second and replied, "Okay I luv ya, bye bye!" And with that she ran off, while being chased by a large dog, who was then suddenly squashed by a mysterious foot.
"Where do these things people keep coming from?", asked ALF.
"Nobody knows", answered Howard and then summoned the next person to audition who happened to be a slightly obese man who wore a blue T-shirt a red shorts.
"So, what makes you qualified to be a Goofball", asked Batman.
"I'm not here to audition. I'm here to regester a complaint. THIS IS THE WORST FAN FIC EVER!"
"I see...", answered Howard.
"I mean this story makes barely any sense, it's full of spellinh errors, it seems like the writing keeps changing from past to present tense, All Your Base jokes are SOOOOOOOO last year, and several characters say stuff that are out of character, and isn't Howard susposed to live in the future? And radios don't even go up to 200, so why would Batman be trying to go to that station? And what the heck is up with the giant feet squishing people? Are you trying to be funyn by doing some sort of Monty Python reference. As I said: "WORST FAN FIC EVER!"
Suddenly from out of nowhere a giant foot comes hurdling towards the ground and squishes the large guy who happened to own a comic store.
"NEXT!"
"Look, here's a talking puppet."
"No Wait, I'm a REAL boy!", and with those words something strange began to happen, it looked as if the wooden boy was about to sneeze, but Batman had knowledge of what this boy could do.
"WATCH OUT EVERYBODY! SHE'S GONNA GROW!", he warned, and sure enough the boy's nose grew in to a large tree branch.
"um... I hate to break it to you, but we are looking for superheros. You want the next kingdom where they want fairytale creatures..." replied Howard.
"Oh, thanx..."
"NEXT!"
"ok, that'd be me."
"Alrighty, what can you do?" asked Howard.
Music begins to play.
"I can Sing!" He begins to sing.
"As he came into the window
It was the sound of a crescendo
He came in her apartment
He left the blood stains on the carpet
She ran underneath the table
He could see she was unable
So she ran into the bedroom
She was struck down, it was her doom
Annie are you ok?
So, Annie are you ok?
Are you ok, Annie
Annie are you ok?
So, Annie are you ok
Are you ok, Annie
Annie are you ok?
So, Annie are you ok?
Are you ok, Annie?
Annie are you ok?
So, Annie are you ok, are you ok, Annie?
Annie are you ok?
Will you tell us that you're ok?
There's a sign in the window
That he struck you - a crescendo Annie
He came into your apartment
He left the blood stains on the carpet
Then you ran into the bedroom
You were struck down
It was your doom
Annie are you ok?
So, Annie are you ok?
Are you ok, Annie
Annie are you ok?
So, Annie are you ok
Are you ok, Annie
Annie are you ok?
So, Annie are you ok?
Are you ok, Annie?
Annie are you ok?
You've been hit by
You've been hit by - a smooth criminal
So they came into the outway
It was Sunday - what a black day
Mouth to mouth resuscitation
Sounding heartbeats - intimidations
Annie are you ok?
So, Annie are you ok?
Are you ok, Annie
Annie are you ok?
So, Annie are you ok
Are you ok, Annie
Annie are you ok?
So, Annie are you ok?
Are you ok, Annie?
Annie are you ok?
Annie are you ok?
Will you tell us that you're ok?
There's a sign in the window
That he struck you - a crescendo Annie
He came into your apartment
He left the blood stains on the carpet
Then you ran into the bedroom
You were struck down
It was your doom
Annie are you ok?
So, Annie are you ok?
Are you ok Annie?
You've been hit by
You've been struck by - a smooth criminal
Okay, I want everybody to clear the area right now!
Aaow!
Annie are you ok?
I don't know!
Will you tell us, that you're ok?
I don't know!
There's a sign in the window
I don't know!
That he struck you - a crescendo Annie
I don't know!
He came into your apartment
I don't know
Left blood stains on the carpet
I don't know why baby!
Then you ran into the bedroom
I don't know!
You were struck down
It was your doom - Annie!
Annie are you ok?
Dad gone it - baby!
Will you tell us, that you're ok?
Dad gone it - baby!
There's a sign in the window
Dad gone it - baby!
That he struck you - a crescendo Annie
Hoo! Hoo!
He came into your apartment
Dad gone it!
Left blood stains on the carpet
Hoo! Hoo! Hoo!
Then you ran into the bedroom
Dad gone it!
You were struck down
It was your doom - Annie!
Aaow!!!"
"WOW! That was amazing!" said Howard. "I was deeply moved... NEXT!"
The next person to audition was a typical looking man who didn't appear as if he could do anything extraordinary.
"So, what accomplishments have you made that make you qualified to be a goofball?", asked Howard.
"Well yesterday I had some REAL GOOD Chicken Stew!", answered the man with a feeling of self-satisfaction.
"I see..."
"And then... I ATE THE BOWL!!"
"WOAH!", gasped the Goofballs in awe of this bowl eating man.
"Quick! Goofball huddle, everyody!", announced Howard as they all gathered around.
"This guy is good", remarked Marty who hadn't really had the chance to say anything throughout this entire fic.
"A little TOO good, if you ask me", added Batman.
"Exactly", replied Howard, "This guy might outshine the rest of us with his bowl eating capabilities. We might be known has "Bowl Eater and the other guys"! And that is a risk we can not take!
NEXT!"
The next auditioner was man with a pencil on his head, and his son, who also had a pencil on his head.
"I am Pencil Head!", he announced.
"And I am SON OF PENCIL HEAD!", his Son added.
"We errase crime"
"Two generations... Thank you", dismissed Batman.
Then a guy who somewhat resembled Evlis came up to the stand and started swinging his arms and his hips, like all elvis impersinators do, however he was rudely interrupted when a large man in a black leather jacket with sunglasses on, picked him up and threw him across the area.
"I'd say he has pottential", commented Goku about the man in the jacket, but just as they were about to do any interviewing, he had left the scene and was now strolling down the street singing a song to himself.
"Somebody once told me the world is gonna roll me
I ain't the sharpest tool in the shed
She was looking kind of dumb with her finger and her thumb
In the shape of an "L" on her forehead
Well the years start coming and they don't stop coming
Fed to the rules and I hit the ground running
Didn't make sense not to live for fun
Your brain gets smart but your head gets dumb
So much to do so much to see
So what's wrong with taking the back streets
You'll never know if you don't go
You'll never shine if you don't glow..."
Unfortuently we can not continue this song anymore because it completly irrelevant to the story and is WAY too overused in today's movies. Meanwhile, the Goofballs were growing weary and impatient, for they could not find any one who would be suited enough to be one of the next Goofballs. Maybe there weren't any people out there who could live up to their qualifications, or maybe Howard should have done more advertising for them than just posting up a small little notice at one of the local bars.
"Guys", annoucned ALF, "I suggest we figure out a new way to fill the spots of the 6th and 7th Goofball"
"But How?", asked Goku.
"We'll put out a challenge to all the people of the world!" exclaimed ALF.
"Excellent idea ALF!!!! And who ever can fulfil our task, will be in!" replied Howard.
"Exactly, so whoever can cut down the tallest tree in that forest with a Herring will be the newest goofball!" shouted ALF.
Howard smacks ALF with a trout. "That is the dumbest idea I ever heard!" said Howard angrily.
"There is something fishy going on here," commented Marty.
"I have idea that might help you!", spoke robotic voice
They all turned and saw a guy in a wheel chair!
"Uhm, who are you?", asked Howard.
"I know who it is!", exclaimed Goku, "It's R2D2!"
"You know Goku", said Alf,"I think your right. He does remind me of R2D2"
"I am not R2D2 you ignorant fools!", spoke the angered man's computerized voice box in which he spoke from, "I am Ste---"
"I'm not completely sure this guy is R2D2", contemplated Howard," R2D2, seemed to be a lot more intelligent than this guy."
"Can you please let me tell you who I am?"
"We already know!", exclaimed Goku,"You're R2D2!"
"I am not that talking trash can!"
"If you're not R2D2, then who are you?", asked Batman.
"I am Steven Hawking, world famous physicist and considered by many as the world's smart human."
"If you're so smart", started Goku, "Then WHAT did I have for breakfast?"
"I am intelligent, not telepathic", rationalized steven.
"Hmmmmmmmmmm..you don't seem that smart to me", said Alf.
"Do you want me to help you or not?", said the irritated Steven.
"Look you guys, we should let this guy help us. He may hold the key on how we can fill up our empty Goofball spaces", reasoned Howard who too was becoming irritated and wanted to put an end to this meaningless arguing.
"Here is my plan", began Steven, "Using a computer, we'll create our own female Goofball. She will fill the 6th place. Then we'll use her beauty to lure Brock back, and then the group shall be completed."
"Wow!", gasped the amazed Goofballs, "That IS a brilliant idea!"
"I'm sorry I underestimated you, Mr Hawking", apologized Goku, "I now see that only a genius like youself could come with such an ingenius plan."
"Well what are we waiting for?", asked Marty, "let's get cracking!"
"But where are we going to carry out such a task?", asked Alf.
"Right here," said Steven, "Right now!"
He quickly typed in some info into his pc. Then whipped out his printer, and printed out the fattest and ugliest guy you ever saw.
The man quickly ran off.
"I'll try again" said Steven.
He did some more quick typing and pressed the print button. Will the Goofball's plan to create a 6th Goofball work? Will they ever learn what Howard's phone call was about, and will Fox ever stop airing Power Ranger series?
Tune in to the next thrilling and exciting GBZ Chapter to find these answers and more!
Or at least the answers to the first two questions. ^_^
Also for those who have NOT read the previous ones, it is okay. Here is a basic summary of the previous GBZ fics.
The 7 Goofballs were an odd group of super heroes lead by the old yet dead sexy Howard from Gundam Wing, and also consisted of ALF, Sailor Moon, Goku from DBZ, MC Hammer, Brock from Pokemon and Canadian Television Children's icon: Mr. Dressup. When or why they formed is pretty much unknown. Anyways, there adventures started when Princess Relena accidentally found them and asked for them to help save the Sanc Kingdom from the forces of OZ, which goes through various leadership changes including Mike from Canmore, Brain from Pinky and the Brain and Purple Tentacle from Day of the Tentacle. The Goofballs, along with the aid of Relena, went on the quest for the 7 dragon balls so they could use them to restore the Sanc Kingdom. To make a long story short, they managed to get all the Dragon Balls and save the day with that specific wish, along with the wish for Bowser from the Mario games to fulfill his dream of becoming a Harlem Globe Trotter. Unfortunately, by the end of their adventure they had lost Sailor Moon and MC Hammer. This was their last adventure. Two years later the rest of them decided to split up and go their seperate ways. It looked as if they wouldn't have to rejoin until one year aftter their parting that Howard received a phone call to reassamble the group.
Unfortuently, just as was about to this he was squished by a giant foot, ala Monty Python.
And now for "Goofball Z? Pi: The Irrational Story"
_________________________
Our story begins in the Hill Valley mall parking lot back in good old 1985...
"You made a time machine out of the Delorean!" shouted Marty.
"Well, you might as well travel through time in style." replied the Doc.
"Wow, we could go anywhere in time! This is gonna be cool!"
"You know that old batman show? Where they all wore tights and the fighting scenes had big words appear on the screen?"
"Yeah!"
"Ok, you must go back in time, and get me batman's autograph!"
"All right!"
Marty quickly jumps into the Delorean and gets her up to 88 mph. Suddenly Marty finds himself in an old batman episode.
He sees the Batmobile zoom past followed by a clown car. Marty observes the exchange of gunfire, and quickly gets involved and follows after the 2 vehicles. Somehow the Batmobile breaks down and the Joker's henchmen are able to capture Batman. Just as they are about to throw him into their clown car a fancy car pulls up beside them. The hydraulic door flies open, and a space man (Marty in his radiation suit) emerges from the craft.
"It's YOU!" says one of the henchmen.
"How are you gentlemen? All your base are belong to us. You are on the way to destruction."
"What you say?"
"You have no chance to survive, make your time. Ha Ha Ha!"
The henchmen quickly hand Batman over to Marty and then quickly speed off in their clown car.
Batman and Marty quickly hop into the Delorean (Marty stays in the radiation suit).
"Thanx for rescuing me."
"No problem."
"Oh, a radio," said batman as he turned on the Flux Capacitor. "Let's listen to 200.1..."
"Sure whatever," says Marty who isn't really paying much attention to Batman,
"Hey, space dude, I think those thugs realized the mistake that they made. They are following us..."
Marty floors it. Suddenly as their speed reaches the speed of 88 mph, they hear a sonic boom, followed by a crash and them some shouting.
"My garage!! You destroyed my garage!" shouted Howard.
The Delorian opened up within the mess of utter chaos, and out popped Marty and Batman, who were still slightly dazed from the crash.
"I expect the two of you to clean up this mess right now, and not to leave until it's cleaned up!", Howard added.
"But we...", uttered the slightly bewildered Marty.
"Look, I don't care who you are. You could be Batman and some teenager from 1985 who are time travelling in a Delorian that was crated by some insane professor, it doesn't matter. I still expect you two to clean this disaster up.", said Howard.
"Can at least ask you one question: What year is it?", asked Marty.
"Well, last I checked it was 2001, but my memory has been kind of foggy ever since I was squished by a giant foot two months ago. There's still something I'm susposed to do but I can't seem to remember what that is, but that's none of your business now clean my garage."
And so Marty and Batman laboured throughout the day cleaning and rearranging the garage until they decided that they deserved a well earn break. Howard allowed the two to take a short, and the two of them decided to raid Howard's cupboards and fridge to see what he had. Batman was particularly looking for some bananas because he had an uncontrolable craving for some bananas. Unfortuently, he discovered Howard had no bananas.
"I see you have no bananas", Batman pointed out to Howard.
Suddenly those lines turned a light bulb inside Howard's head. He remember saying line's like those before, and he finally remembered the thing he was suspossed to do.
"I'M SUSPOSED TO REASEMBLE MY SUPER HERO GROUP THE GOOFBALLS!!", exclaimed Howard.
"Wha?", asked the puzzled Marty.
"Quick get the phone books! I have some important calls to make!", Howard cied out.
In no time, Howard was busy making calls , but quickly realized that besides him, there were only two other remaing goofballs out of the original 7, for Sailor Moon and MC Hammer had dissappeaered back when they went in search of Treize, Brock had mysteriously vanished after saying something about going to some island in the Caribean, and Mr. Dressup had recently passed away about a month or two ago. This left only him, ALF and Goku.
The 3 remaining Goofballs had reasembled at Howard's pad, while Marty and Batman had returned to cleaning the garage.
"What are we going to do?" asked Goku.
"I dunno," replied ALF.
"What kinda superhero group are we? Just an ugly alien, a guy with immeasurable strength, and a handsome guy," asked Howard.
"You aren't an alien, Howard," said ALF.
"I guess we need to replace everybody! But how do you replace guys like Mr. Dressup and MC Hammer? We need a guy who dresses strangly and a guy with some musical background! It's not like guys like that just walk suddenly appear!" stated Howard as Marty and Batman finished fixing the garage and walked into the kitchen.
"Now that we helped you, Can you help us?" asked Marty.
"What do you need?" asked Howard.
"We need to to generate 1.21 Gigawatts of power to return to our own times. And we know that, unlike in 1985, you can easily generate that kind of power," says Marty.
"Right... Like that is going to happen!" says Howard.
"Not even i have that kind of power!" says Goku.
"What the hell is a Gigawatt???" asked ALF.
So it was decided that they would have to stay in the present forever.
"Why don't you 2 become goofballs? Marty, you have some connections to music and Batman you are smart and dress funny!" says Howard.
It was then decided that this was a great idea!
"We need to lure Brock back... THe Question is... HOW?" exclaimed ALF.
"From my heart and from my hand. Why don't people understand my intentions?" said Goku.
"huh?"
"I saw it in a movie once we can use a computer to create female goofball using a computer! She will be so hot that she will lure Brock back for sure! Then there will once again be 7 of us." said Goku.
"THAT IDEA IS TERRIBLE!" says ALF
"Then what do YOU suggest we do?", inquired Howard.
"We'll hold auditions at Howard's place for the remanig two Goofballs two days from now and forget about Brock entirely. That way we don't have to worry about what happens if our plan doesn't lure Brock back."
"That sounds like a great idea", said Howard.
"Can we have pizza, before the auditions?", asked Batman.
"Yes. Yes we can, but we can only have Frozen pizzas because I HATE delivery."
And so the Goofballs put out an ad for the auditions ,and two days later the five of them met an hour before the audtions prepare, and to eat pizza.
"I THOUGHT I SAID NO DELIVERY!", exclaimed Howard.
"But it's not Delivery. It's Delapierno!", debated Goku.
"I don't care what fancy words you use to descrive it! It looks and tastes like delivery to me.", answered Howard.
Because the nearest grocery store was quite a ways from Howard's house, the four other goofballs quickly cutted out a circualr piece of card board, spreaded ketchup, meat and cheese on it, and then had Goku do a quick little attack on it to cook it.
"Mmmmmmmmmmmm...tastes just like frozen pizzas...", responded Howard as he munched on the cardboard.
After the goofballs finished up eating their pizza and their cardboard, it was then time for the auditions to begin. The five goofballs sat at a table while one by one, a person from the large lineup came up to convince them why they would be suited to be in the group. The first of the auditioners was a short metallic robot.
"What is your name?", questioned Batman.
"I am Astar, a robot from planet danger. I can put my arm back on, you can't so hahaha."
"WHAT YOU THINK YOU'RE BETTER THAN US JUST BECAUSE YOU CAN STICK A LIMB BACK ON YOUR BODY?!", exclaimed Alf, "We here at the goofballs don't accept Male Chicken y people like you."
The other four turned towards Alf with a strange look because of his remark involving male chickens.
"I didn't mean to say "Male Chicken y" I meant to say Male Chicken y."
They continued to stare at Alf, then Goku pointed towards a sinister looking fellow in the shadows and cried out, "I think HE'S Behind this!"
The sinister looking fellow started to laugh an evil maniacle laugh. "Yes I am behind Alf's strange use of words, for I am THE EVIL FILTER! And I censor out whatever words might seem offensive even if it's just a word that contains it in there like Alf's Male Chicken y."
"Get out of here, Evil Filter", said the annoyed Howard," We're trying to hold auditions and we don't need you messing our words up."
"Very well, then, but I may return", and with that he let out another evil maniacle laugh and soon was off.
"Now where were we before we were so rudely interrupted", said Howard getting back to the auditions and turning towards the robot with the ability to stick his arm back on, " Oh yes, now I remeber...
NEXT!"
"Hi, I'm Mike from Canmore"
"Hey, Didn't you die in the first Goofball Z??" asked Howard.
"He must be an imposter!!!" cried ALF as he brought out a big stick.
"I best return to Canmore! Come on Norm, to the Mikemobile!" said Mike as they quickly sped off.
"NEXT!"
"Hey, I'm Bob Mackenzie and this is my brother Doug eh."
"Good Day Eh!" said Doug.
"We want to be superheros eh!"
"Do you have any experience?" asked Howard.
"Yeah, we do eh. Here you go hoser," said Doug as he handed Howard Strange Brew (the movie not a bottle).
So they watched Strange Brew
"Ha ha ha! You guys are hilarious!! NEXT!!!" exclaimed Howard.
A short little blonde girl wearing coveralls walks up to the Goofballs.
"What are you doing, funny mustache man?", she asked.
"We're holding auditions for our 6th and 7th Goofballs", answered Howard.
"Why?"
"Because we're susposed to be the 7 Goofballs, and we only have 5"
"Why?"
"Because they mysteriously vanished off the face of the earth"
"Why?"
"Because they were looking for Treize Krushenda who also mysteriusly vanished off the face of the earth"
"Why?"
"Nobody knows"
"Why?"
"Because it's mysterious"
"Why?"
"Quit asking WHY! Your either here to audition or you're not here at all."
The small little girl paused for a second and replied, "Okay I luv ya, bye bye!" And with that she ran off, while being chased by a large dog, who was then suddenly squashed by a mysterious foot.
"Where do these things people keep coming from?", asked ALF.
"Nobody knows", answered Howard and then summoned the next person to audition who happened to be a slightly obese man who wore a blue T-shirt a red shorts.
"So, what makes you qualified to be a Goofball", asked Batman.
"I'm not here to audition. I'm here to regester a complaint. THIS IS THE WORST FAN FIC EVER!"
"I see...", answered Howard.
"I mean this story makes barely any sense, it's full of spellinh errors, it seems like the writing keeps changing from past to present tense, All Your Base jokes are SOOOOOOOO last year, and several characters say stuff that are out of character, and isn't Howard susposed to live in the future? And radios don't even go up to 200, so why would Batman be trying to go to that station? And what the heck is up with the giant feet squishing people? Are you trying to be funyn by doing some sort of Monty Python reference. As I said: "WORST FAN FIC EVER!"
Suddenly from out of nowhere a giant foot comes hurdling towards the ground and squishes the large guy who happened to own a comic store.
"NEXT!"
"Look, here's a talking puppet."
"No Wait, I'm a REAL boy!", and with those words something strange began to happen, it looked as if the wooden boy was about to sneeze, but Batman had knowledge of what this boy could do.
"WATCH OUT EVERYBODY! SHE'S GONNA GROW!", he warned, and sure enough the boy's nose grew in to a large tree branch.
"um... I hate to break it to you, but we are looking for superheros. You want the next kingdom where they want fairytale creatures..." replied Howard.
"Oh, thanx..."
"NEXT!"
"ok, that'd be me."
"Alrighty, what can you do?" asked Howard.
Music begins to play.
"I can Sing!" He begins to sing.
"As he came into the window
It was the sound of a crescendo
He came in her apartment
He left the blood stains on the carpet
She ran underneath the table
He could see she was unable
So she ran into the bedroom
She was struck down, it was her doom
Annie are you ok?
So, Annie are you ok?
Are you ok, Annie
Annie are you ok?
So, Annie are you ok
Are you ok, Annie
Annie are you ok?
So, Annie are you ok?
Are you ok, Annie?
Annie are you ok?
So, Annie are you ok, are you ok, Annie?
Annie are you ok?
Will you tell us that you're ok?
There's a sign in the window
That he struck you - a crescendo Annie
He came into your apartment
He left the blood stains on the carpet
Then you ran into the bedroom
You were struck down
It was your doom
Annie are you ok?
So, Annie are you ok?
Are you ok, Annie
Annie are you ok?
So, Annie are you ok
Are you ok, Annie
Annie are you ok?
So, Annie are you ok?
Are you ok, Annie?
Annie are you ok?
You've been hit by
You've been hit by - a smooth criminal
So they came into the outway
It was Sunday - what a black day
Mouth to mouth resuscitation
Sounding heartbeats - intimidations
Annie are you ok?
So, Annie are you ok?
Are you ok, Annie
Annie are you ok?
So, Annie are you ok
Are you ok, Annie
Annie are you ok?
So, Annie are you ok?
Are you ok, Annie?
Annie are you ok?
Annie are you ok?
Will you tell us that you're ok?
There's a sign in the window
That he struck you - a crescendo Annie
He came into your apartment
He left the blood stains on the carpet
Then you ran into the bedroom
You were struck down
It was your doom
Annie are you ok?
So, Annie are you ok?
Are you ok Annie?
You've been hit by
You've been struck by - a smooth criminal
Okay, I want everybody to clear the area right now!
Aaow!
Annie are you ok?
I don't know!
Will you tell us, that you're ok?
I don't know!
There's a sign in the window
I don't know!
That he struck you - a crescendo Annie
I don't know!
He came into your apartment
I don't know
Left blood stains on the carpet
I don't know why baby!
Then you ran into the bedroom
I don't know!
You were struck down
It was your doom - Annie!
Annie are you ok?
Dad gone it - baby!
Will you tell us, that you're ok?
Dad gone it - baby!
There's a sign in the window
Dad gone it - baby!
That he struck you - a crescendo Annie
Hoo! Hoo!
He came into your apartment
Dad gone it!
Left blood stains on the carpet
Hoo! Hoo! Hoo!
Then you ran into the bedroom
Dad gone it!
You were struck down
It was your doom - Annie!
Aaow!!!"
"WOW! That was amazing!" said Howard. "I was deeply moved... NEXT!"
The next person to audition was a typical looking man who didn't appear as if he could do anything extraordinary.
"So, what accomplishments have you made that make you qualified to be a goofball?", asked Howard.
"Well yesterday I had some REAL GOOD Chicken Stew!", answered the man with a feeling of self-satisfaction.
"I see..."
"And then... I ATE THE BOWL!!"
"WOAH!", gasped the Goofballs in awe of this bowl eating man.
"Quick! Goofball huddle, everyody!", announced Howard as they all gathered around.
"This guy is good", remarked Marty who hadn't really had the chance to say anything throughout this entire fic.
"A little TOO good, if you ask me", added Batman.
"Exactly", replied Howard, "This guy might outshine the rest of us with his bowl eating capabilities. We might be known has "Bowl Eater and the other guys"! And that is a risk we can not take!
NEXT!"
The next auditioner was man with a pencil on his head, and his son, who also had a pencil on his head.
"I am Pencil Head!", he announced.
"And I am SON OF PENCIL HEAD!", his Son added.
"We errase crime"
"Two generations... Thank you", dismissed Batman.
Then a guy who somewhat resembled Evlis came up to the stand and started swinging his arms and his hips, like all elvis impersinators do, however he was rudely interrupted when a large man in a black leather jacket with sunglasses on, picked him up and threw him across the area.
"I'd say he has pottential", commented Goku about the man in the jacket, but just as they were about to do any interviewing, he had left the scene and was now strolling down the street singing a song to himself.
"Somebody once told me the world is gonna roll me
I ain't the sharpest tool in the shed
She was looking kind of dumb with her finger and her thumb
In the shape of an "L" on her forehead
Well the years start coming and they don't stop coming
Fed to the rules and I hit the ground running
Didn't make sense not to live for fun
Your brain gets smart but your head gets dumb
So much to do so much to see
So what's wrong with taking the back streets
You'll never know if you don't go
You'll never shine if you don't glow..."
Unfortuently we can not continue this song anymore because it completly irrelevant to the story and is WAY too overused in today's movies. Meanwhile, the Goofballs were growing weary and impatient, for they could not find any one who would be suited enough to be one of the next Goofballs. Maybe there weren't any people out there who could live up to their qualifications, or maybe Howard should have done more advertising for them than just posting up a small little notice at one of the local bars.
"Guys", annoucned ALF, "I suggest we figure out a new way to fill the spots of the 6th and 7th Goofball"
"But How?", asked Goku.
"We'll put out a challenge to all the people of the world!" exclaimed ALF.
"Excellent idea ALF!!!! And who ever can fulfil our task, will be in!" replied Howard.
"Exactly, so whoever can cut down the tallest tree in that forest with a Herring will be the newest goofball!" shouted ALF.
Howard smacks ALF with a trout. "That is the dumbest idea I ever heard!" said Howard angrily.
"There is something fishy going on here," commented Marty.
"I have idea that might help you!", spoke robotic voice
They all turned and saw a guy in a wheel chair!
"Uhm, who are you?", asked Howard.
"I know who it is!", exclaimed Goku, "It's R2D2!"
"You know Goku", said Alf,"I think your right. He does remind me of R2D2"
"I am not R2D2 you ignorant fools!", spoke the angered man's computerized voice box in which he spoke from, "I am Ste---"
"I'm not completely sure this guy is R2D2", contemplated Howard," R2D2, seemed to be a lot more intelligent than this guy."
"Can you please let me tell you who I am?"
"We already know!", exclaimed Goku,"You're R2D2!"
"I am not that talking trash can!"
"If you're not R2D2, then who are you?", asked Batman.
"I am Steven Hawking, world famous physicist and considered by many as the world's smart human."
"If you're so smart", started Goku, "Then WHAT did I have for breakfast?"
"I am intelligent, not telepathic", rationalized steven.
"Hmmmmmmmmmm..you don't seem that smart to me", said Alf.
"Do you want me to help you or not?", said the irritated Steven.
"Look you guys, we should let this guy help us. He may hold the key on how we can fill up our empty Goofball spaces", reasoned Howard who too was becoming irritated and wanted to put an end to this meaningless arguing.
"Here is my plan", began Steven, "Using a computer, we'll create our own female Goofball. She will fill the 6th place. Then we'll use her beauty to lure Brock back, and then the group shall be completed."
"Wow!", gasped the amazed Goofballs, "That IS a brilliant idea!"
"I'm sorry I underestimated you, Mr Hawking", apologized Goku, "I now see that only a genius like youself could come with such an ingenius plan."
"Well what are we waiting for?", asked Marty, "let's get cracking!"
"But where are we going to carry out such a task?", asked Alf.
"Right here," said Steven, "Right now!"
He quickly typed in some info into his pc. Then whipped out his printer, and printed out the fattest and ugliest guy you ever saw.
The man quickly ran off.
"I'll try again" said Steven.
He did some more quick typing and pressed the print button. Will the Goofball's plan to create a 6th Goofball work? Will they ever learn what Howard's phone call was about, and will Fox ever stop airing Power Ranger series?
Tune in to the next thrilling and exciting GBZ Chapter to find these answers and more!
Or at least the answers to the first two questions. ^_^