Why, Hello and welcome to my little world of weirdness!
I state for the record that, while I really, really wish I did, I don't own any of the wonderful characters that will grace this story . . . they are all CLAMP's, always have been, always will be! However I do lay claim to a few of the original characters, for example . . . I own Hei-ying, and his false form, Tomodachi Yukito, I own Mystrasa Kyree, and Carolyn and Amanda Reed, I don't own The Dragon, Saurian because he is on loan from my very good friend, the ever intangible Blue Goo.
This is a Sequel to 'In This Tainted Soul . . .', which actually started out as this stories prequel . . . what can I say? I love writing!! Anyway, while it's not strictly need reading, since the first few chapters will be focus on establishing well . . . basically everything, it would still be nice if you go read up, especially if you want to know why Hei-ying is the way he is . . .
In This Tainted Soul . . . There Lies Hope . . .
By Dr Megalomania
[Wai!! Thank You for the 50 Reviews!!]
Part Four: Promise Me, Forever And Always
Later That Day . . .
The snow was falling lightly, and the winds were down . . . "Perfect flying weather," she smiled, Sakura looked down at her brother, "Are you sure you don't want to try?"
Touya shook his head, and focused on Eriol, the blue haired boy was riding Spinel sun as Sakura flew with her own wings, Yue, Ruby Moon and Keroberos flying strongly alongside her. Touya sighed and looked down at his sister's cohorts . . . //Cohorts?// he shook his head, so that was Clow's influence, Touya had already started to recognise what parts of his thoughts had been twined with Clow Reed. It was minor things that changed, his handwriting had become a little more spidery, he had taken to preferring fountain pens over ball points, he'd discovered a new understanding of Shakespeare . . . Touya chuckled to himself quietly, that last one he wasn't so sure he was happy to have. Many of his already learnt skills were merely added to, such as a new method of cooking or sewing. Little things, nothing that really mattered to the scheme of things but enhanced them.
The bigger things lay in the reaction of people around him. True only a few hours had elapsed between Eriol's test, and this training session in the park //Datte . . .// he thought as he looked down upon Syaoran and Tomoyo, as usual Tomoyo was filming Sakura's every movement, she had taken to the idea of Touya possessing Clow's magic and memories very well, she was even excited by the prospect. Syaoran also wasn't too shaken by it; the little wolf was only concerned about Sakura. He was sat beside Tomoyo, watching Sakura's flight carefully and taking notes. They had come up with this system of teaching, where Syaoran would teach Sakura in the theory of magic. Touya smiled at this, Clow's mother had been very well schooled in the art of magic and had taught Clow very well, Touya knew the Li Clan had maintained this level of teaching, and was comforted by the knowledge that Sakura was being taught by the very best and most powerful member of the Li Clan. Keroberos and Yue had agreed to teach her in the more practical and the physical aspects of the magic she used.
Touya smiled fondly, as he realised he was watching Keroberos and Yue re-enact the same lessons Clow Reed had given them, when they were just learning. He sighed and turned his attention back on Syaoran, the little wolf was looking at him now. Touya frowned good naturedly to let him know that nothing had changed between them, Syaoran nodded sharply as he understood the message. He looked relieved as he turned his attention back on Sakura; Touya knew the two were very close, their relationship staying so very innocent.
Syaoran was a perfect gentleman, he was waiting for her and Touya doubted they had gone any further than holding hands. //Sweet . . .// Some quiet voice in the back of his head mentioned, Touya blinked. That was another thing he was still trying to get to grips with; Clow had a voice. The magician's thoughts and opinions were restrained to a single word at times, but still it was something slightly disconcerting. He wondered, if Clow was restraining himself sometimes . . . often he could feel the powerful magician reacting to something, and wanting to do something about it. Touya wondered, if one day, he might let Clow take control, just for a short time and what it would be like to have to take a back seat in his own body . . .
He shook his head and looked up, Ruby was flying in high loops, she was thinking hard about everything. Not only Touya, but also Eriol's test. She found the idea of Eriol being capable of allowing a creation to die very disturbing. She spent the next two hours afterwards focused purely on Eriol, asking small questions about what he had done, why, what would he have done if Touya hadn't stood. Eriol smiled and said I would have stopped it. He was right; he had stood at the same time as Touya. However this wasn't evidence enough for Ruby, her nature was influenced by the Moon, 'Would Haves' were never enough for that type.
Eriol, Spinel and Keroberos were stopped in the air talking to Sakura. She listened carefully as the three explained a certain type of manoeuvre and argued about what they felt was the right way to go about it. She had taken to the idea of her brother and Clow very easily, she was like Tomoyo and had quizzed him about it after she and the rest of the group had gotten some sleep. Keroberos was still angry with him and Eriol, but over all he had given gruff consent. Touya smiled as he watched the lion rant away at Spinel, as the two argued, their masters sat lightly on their backs and laughed at their guardians. Sakura blinked, looked over at Yue, who was very quiet, she asked something of him and waited for a reply.
The angel was deep in thought; Keroberos fell silent and looked at him. Yue hadn't answer Sakura, she slid off Kero's back and fluttered closer to her Moon guardian, she reached out gently and touched Yue's shoulder. He looked up suddenly, disorientated and a little flustered having been discovered not keeping his mind on his task. He shook his head to signify there was nothing wrong, Sakura nodded, Kero smiled, and both returned to the argument. Yue glanced at Touya, he seemed a little disturbed by the discovery, he was quiet, contemplative of what this meant. Touya understood, a little, he was still trying to figure out Clow's memories properly. He had fragments, things that were easy to understand like Keroberos' birthday presents . . .
Clow smiled as he walked down the corridor, the smell of sunflowers and general summer floated down the corridor. The dark haired mage swung his head around the door, "So . . . I take it that you like my present?" He glanced around the Flower card was dancing merrily and producing dozens of Keroberos' favourite flower, the sunflower.
Keroberos looked up, "Like it? I LOVE IT!!" He leapt off the bed and bounded over to his master, the mage laughed as the lion balanced precariously on his hind legs. Clow spread his arms and allowed Keroberos rest his front paws on them. He laughed heartily as Keroberos licked and slobbered all over his face, "Keroberos . . . Please! It's not very much . . ."
"It is!" Keroberos grinned, "It is a Clow card! One of the most powerful things in the entirety of the world!! Only you are more powerful!"
Clow sobered slightly, "Keroberos . . . no . . . You must never think that I am that powerful."
Keroberos blinked, "Why not?"
Clow smiled and stepped forward to hug the lion, "Never mind . . ." he murmured, he knew one day that he was going to die, and he wanted his creations to understand this. Clow just couldn't bring himself to tell them, explain to them that he wasn't powerful enough to stave off the most humbling aspects of life. All things end.
Keroberos chuckled slightly, "Hullo little one . . ."
Clow blinked and smiled as he realised who Keroberos was speaking to. He allowed Keroberos to drop form his arms, and turned. His youngest creation stood silently in the doorway, his white hair tied into a tight ponytail, his wings just retracting to show that he had only just transformed. Clow smiled gently at the small angel, Yue was just younger than Keroberos, with roughly six months between their creations. However, because Clow wasn't to be peculiar with their birthdays, he had elected to put their birthdays down as the day they first spoke to him. Keroberos had been created in the early months of summer, but didn't speak until the middle of the season; Yue was created in the latest days of autumn, but hadn't spoken until the early morning of Christmas.
The angel stepped forward, calmly staring at his brother. The lion sat, and looked straight into Yue's eyes. The angel had the appearance of a ten-year-old human boy now, a faint ghost of a smile flitted over his pale lips as he held out his hands. A sharp blue glow appeared, and faded to reveal an ice sculpture.
Clow smiled as he realised it was an ice sunflower, it was something so hard to create, and both Yue and Keroberos understood that the other could not touch personal presents like these. Yue's magic was too cold, and Keroberos' too hot to manage anything that was created. Keroberos smiled too, but he swallowed quietly, "It's beautiful . . ." He murmured, he looked into Yue's eyes, ". . . But a better present for me would be if you stayed, little one . . ." The normally boisterous lion ventured quietly, "Maybe stay all day?"
Yue's eyes dropped slightly, he stared through his brother, the ice sunflower melting and evaporating at the same time. Clow knelt beside Keroberos, ". . . Please?" He breathed, he hadn't seen Yue in so long, the angel was hiding within his false form for longer and longer periods of time. Every time he reappeared, he seemed weaker, paler . . . so much more subdued than his false form, Yukito. Clow lifted his hand to touch Yue's cheek but the angel looked away quickly, Clow sighed, and glanced at Keroberos.
The lion tried to smile and look like he meant it, "Perhaps you're tired . . ." Yue nodded, and extended his wings. Keroberos held up a paw to stop him, "Please . . ." Yue paused and tilted his head; Keroberos smiled weakly, "I want to see you . . . before my next birthday . . ."
"Reminiscing?"
Touya blinked and returned to the present, Eriol sat back on the long, broad branch. The two gazed at each other, Eriol smiled, "Or perhaps, he is making a nuisance of himself?"
Touya shook his head, "No . . . Clow hasn't had that much effect on me . . ." He cocked his head, "You?"
Eriol sobered slightly, "I have lived with him all my life, I was three when I realised what the memories really meant . . ." He shook his head at Touya's concerned frown, "Clow hasn't really been too bad with me, just small things . . . like your sister . . ."
"What do you mean?"
Eriol chuckled, "Syaoran would have had a lot of competition for her . . . had Clow not been so intertwined with my tastes." He looked at Tomoyo, "Not that I find anything to lament about . . ." H looked up at Touya, "What were you thinking about?"
Touya shook his head, "About this morning . . . why a test? Why not just ask me?"
"Why not just ask Sakura to simply change the cards?" Eriol asked, "Why throw so many obstacles in her way?" He shook his head, "I had to be sure that you received it all, and that you knew you were capable of it."
"I don't want it." Touya sighed, "Is there a way I can---?"
"No." Eriol sat up; "It went to you for a good reason . . . much as Clow trusts Sakura . . ."
"He doesn't trust anyone with the totality of his magic . . ." Touya snorted quietly, "Not even himself . . ."
"True." Eriol looked up at Ruby, "She's still thinking . . ."
"You scared her . . ." Touya looked at the blue haired boy intently, "For the first time in her life, you have truly scared her."
Eriol nodded, and his lavender grey eyes slid shut. Touya looked at Ruby as she stopped suddenly, and looked down at them. A beat of her wings later, she was by their sides. Eriol pulled his legs up and swung them down, he patted the branch beside him, "Join me?"
Ruby glanced at Touya before sitting by her master. "Something wrong?" She asked quietly, Eriol smiled and brushed her hair back gently.
"Are you angry with me?"
Ruby's lips pursed before she answered, "I cannot be angry with my master."
While she didn't notice, Touya saw the expression of pure infuriation flit over Eriol's face, he calmed almost as instantly, and explained in a gentle tone, "You should be . . ." She glanced at him sideways, as he continued, "I did not create you and Spinel to be mere puppets. If you are angry at me, then you have my blessing to take your fury out to it's full potential." She looked down again, as he shuffled closer and put a hand on her shoulder, "There is only one thing in this life that would ever make me furious and that is you being something I didn't create you to be . . ."
Ruby looked at him, and was very serious as she said clearly, "Do not do it again . . ." She slid off the branch and floated in the air, ". . . Because I will not let you . . ."
Eriol dipped his head apologetically, "Good . . ." He smiled at her proudly, and motioned her back to him. He wrapped his arms around her and rested his chin on her shoulder. Touya smiled at the warm scene, it hadn't been often he had seen such closeness between Eriol and his guardians. He frowned slightly as he noticed Ruby's eyelids flutter, her wings slowed to a lazy pace as she battled to stay conscious. Eriol smiled and patted her back gently, "Wake up . . ." He whispered.
The butterfly girl's eyes snapped open, and she pulled away, she smiled at him and looped backwards. Eriol smiled after her as she flew back up to her brother and the others.
"What was that?" Touya asked quietly.
"Our magic."
"Is it dangerous?" Touya looked up, "I mean she was falling asleep . . . Why would you . . .?"
"I wasn't . . . it's simply the effect we have on them." Eriol smiled, "That's why I prefer to confine my affections to our private time . . . so no one can spot this weakness in them . . ."
Touya gazed at him, "Is it so bad?"
Eriol laughed, "No . . . only when they are not concentrating fully they fall asleep . . . if they are not willing . . ."
"Good." Touya nodded, he gazed up at Yue. "What was wrong with Yue?"
"When?"
"When we gave Keroberos the Flower card . . . what was wrong with him?"
"I've been trying to figure that out since I could recall Clow's memories," Touya raised an eyebrow as Eriol sighed, "I'm not entirely sure . . . you realise there is a---?"
"Gap in Clow's memory?" Touya pulled up his knees and rested his arms on them, "Yes, I do . . . What happened?"
The gap was of about ten years, Touya knew Clow remembered it perfectly clear, however he chose not to share it with his reincarnations, or whoever stumbled across his memory. It was like . . . Touya hugged his knees slightly as he named the feeling; it was like waking up in the morning, knowing you had had one of the most vivid dreams, knowing that you had done and said something, but when you tried to recall it, there was nothing, absolutely nothing. He sighed and looked at Yue, "Perhaps something terrible happened . . . maybe something Yue did . . ."
As soon as the words left his tongue, he felt angry with himself for even suggesting it. Eriol frowned at him disapprovingly, "Yue has never brought a moment of unhappiness to our life!" He sighed, "If anything it was most likely our fault . . . if we don't remember, it is because Clow doesn't *want* to remember . . ."
Touya nodded, and pressed his fingers against his lips, feeling them as a centuries old sensation rolled over him. There were other things he could remember though, things Clow had impressed on his memories so hard so not to lose them ever. He looked up, "Yue once told me Clow never loved him . . ."
"I know . . ." Eriol unconsciously mimicked the taller boy, "I really don't understand why Clow held back that night . . ." He snorted as he glanced at Touya, "You know I envy you . . ." He leant towards him and hissed good-naturedly, "You've been with him!"
Touya's hand dropped from his lips as he smiled, "If it helps . . . we've never gone all the way . . ."
Eriol grimaced in an exaggerated manner, "No, that's worse!" He stood and moved closer, Touya swung his legs down as Eriol sat beside him, the smaller boy nudge him with his shoulder, "You can't even describe to me what he's like!"
The dark haired boy smiled, and leant closer, his voice dropping to a husky tone, "He's just as we created him . . . Perfect in *every* way . . ."
"I know that!"
Touya laughed quietly, "And he's very restrained . . . perhaps shy . . . I can't tell . . ." Touya paused, and thought for a bit, "He's very giving . . . submissive . . ." He glanced at Eriol, "And having seen your little flash of temper, I know now why I have been beginning to find that a little annoying . . . We never created him to be a servant . . ."
Eriol swung his legs a little; "I hope you're never told him off for it . . ."
"No . . . Of course not, although I would mind him being a little more . . . like he was *that* night . . ."
Eriol's eyes slid shut, he sighed, "Oh . . . That night . . ." He leaned towards Touya again, "It's all your fault . . ."
"I know . . ." Touya smiled as he recalled the memory. Clow and Yue were just about to consummate their relationship when Clow had had a vision . . . a vision about Touya and Yue, it had led Clow to realise that he wasn't the one for Yue, Touya was . . . after the vision Clow cast a spell that would make Yue forget entirely about their night of unconsummated passion.
Touya sighed; "You could have taken him . . ." He looked pointedly at Eriol, "Afterwards . . . after your task . . ."
"No . . ." The blue haired boy looked up, "He was already too in love with you . . . Besides I . . ."
"Kaho?"
"Maybe . . ." Eriol shook his head, ". . . For a while . . ."
"Why?"
"I wanted to distract myself . . ." Eriol looked down wistfully, "From her . . ."
Touya followed his gaze, Tomoyo was still videotaping Sakura. The white snow flecked her dark purple hair, and she was wearing a long cloak like Sakura's, except it was a deep purple. She was beautiful, Touya noticed. Long hair and pale skin, precisely what Clow liked in a woman . . . or indeed any sexual partner. Touya smiled at Eriol, "She's yours if you would try it."
"She is in love with Sakura . . ." Eriol shook his head, ". . . You realise that, don't you?"
"She cannot pine for Sakura for the rest of her life . . . or she will repeat her mother's history . . ."
Eriol met Touya's deep blue gaze, "I know . . ." He murmured, "But I can't---" he stopped suddenly and looked down. Sakura had landed and was staring up at the two hesitantly. The pair blinked as they realised they were being watched. "Gomen nasai!" Sakura called up quietly, "We didn't mean to disturb your conversation . . ."
Syaoran and Sakura linked arms and walked along the path together, Syaoran talked to her in low tones what he thought of her flying that day. Tomoyo smiled, she knew Syaoran well enough to know that he would have nothing but constructive criticism for her, and would try his hardest to help her.
She looked up, as Kero fluttered alongside Spinel sun, their argument still carried on even thought their anger seemed less imposing in their false forms. Yue and Ruby were not with them as they walked back, they had requested to stay behind in the empty park, like their sun counterparts, the two liked to talk as often as they could.
She looked behind herself; Touya and Eriol hung back, walking slower than the rest. They were still talking.
She smiled again, the two were very deep in conversation when Sakura landed, perhaps catching up on old times in Clow's life, or perhaps discussing the implications this would undoubtedly have on Sakura' life.
Sakura pulled her cloak's hood off gently; she adored the cloak Tomoyo had made four years ago. It was a deep rose pink, her favourite, with a fake fur lining in a similar colour, it was warm and it reached all around her. The sleeves were deep and also warm with the same lining at the cuffs. It had looped buttons at the collar, four silver chains that looped over four silver stars; the design was simple and sharp. Sakura was becoming very attached to it, Kero had joked that she was becoming like Clow by insisting that she wear this cloak almost everywhere. Sakura smiled at Tomoyo, as the purple haired girl pulled her cloak's heavy hood off as well. Tomoyo's was exactly the same only in a deep shade of purple that set off her striking hair. Hers had hearts, where Sakura's had stars.
"Sakura-chan?" Tomoyo picked up Sakura's hands, "Were you able to fly all right with this cloak?"
"I was!" Sakura hugged her friend tightly, "This cloak is perfect!"
Kero chuckled as he fluttered past her into the sitting room, "Just like Clow Reed!!" He taunted, "Come on Suppi, we have much catching up to do!"
"Idiot!" Spinel rolled his eyes and fluttered closer to Sakura, "Thank you for inviting us in mistress Sakura . . ."
Sakura stroked his head, "My home is always open to you!"
Spinel dipped his large blue head and followed after Kero, Tomoyo smiled, "You are so kind, Sakura-chan!" She held up her camera, "Would you like to review your flight now?"
"Perhaps later . . ." Sakura smiled lopsidedly at her dearest friend, "I'm a little tired now . . ."
Syaoran stepped forward and pulled his green hat off, "Why are you tired?"
"Syaoran-kun, we all must be tired!" Sakura laughed, "We didn't get that much sleep last night!" Syaoran nodded, and grasped her hand.
"Come on then . . ." He pulled her hand slightly, "I'll put you in bed, and we can discuss your lesson until you fall asleep."
Sakura pulled her hair ties out of her hair and sat on her bed, Syaoran, over protective as he was, had slipped out of the room to fetch her something to drink. She sighed and looked out the window, Yue and Ruby had not returned yet and it had been three hours. The snow was starting to fall heavier than before, she wasn't too worried but she knew Kero would be starting to get agitated. Kero seemed to have this very strange habit during wintertime, he hated snow with a passion he rarely showed, this hatred seemed to extend to an overprotective zeal Kero held over Yue. Sakura chuckled slightly, as she remembered one time when Syaoran and Tomoyo had been over, before her father died . . .
"Have you closed all your windows tight?"
Tomoyo and Syaoran were over; they were working on a simple school project. Kero was by the window as he did every winter's snowstorm. He was talking to Yue on the pink phone Tomoyo had given him.
"And are you staying inside?" Kero asked patiently, "I know you can fly in snowstorms but I still prefer you didn't . . . Uh huh . . . I know that too . . . Yes that too, little one . . ."
Syaoran looked up, "Did he just refer to Yue as 'little one'?"
"Hai!" Tomoyo smiled, "It appears Kero-chan is the elder by six months . . ."
"Really?!" Syaoran glanced at Kero as the tiny guardian beast paced along the window, he was wearing his small headphones and mic. "I would never of thought that stuffed animal was the older . . . I always assumed Yue was the oldest . . . I mean the way he acts . . ."
Sakura laughed gently, "You've never seen Kero-chan during a snowstorm . . . Yue, are you warm? Yue, are you safe? Yue, is there anything I can get you?"
"Little one." Kero said sternly, "I will not have you flapping about in the storm . . . Stay where you are . . . No, I said Stay. Where. You. Are. Yue! . . . eh?!" He looked at the phone's display. "He cut me off!" He frowned and started to dial, "Yue is such a stubborn little kaijuu!"
Sakura winked, "He sounds like Oniichan, ni?"
"That's kinda scary . . ." Syaoran nodded as he stared at Kero.
"Don't do that . . . Yuki? Would you mind if I talk to Yue please? . . . What?!" Keroberos growled, "Fine then . . . Yue, return to your--- oh, so now you want to talk? Good, now as I was saying, stay there. I don't want you to fly in the storm . . . Why not?! Have you seen it out there?!"
Sakura smiled fondly as she stared out, Kero had flown to Touya and demanded he take the car and pick up Yue from Yuki's house. The small guardian beast wouldn't allow Yue to fly at all during snowstorms, and when Yukito and Yue came to live with them, Keroberos wouldn't even let them out of his sight. Keroberos would often just flutter after the snow bunny as he was cooking, or would pad after the angel in his full form, either way he was never more than three meters away.
Sakura had always wondered why that was, Kero never really answered, saying something about a silly little accident . . . but never really telling her about it. She mused quickly about asking her brother but decided that it was something that could wait.
The door opened quietly, "Sakura?"
Sakura turned away from the window to find Syaoran entering and sliding the door shut. He set down the two steaming cups of green tea quickly and joined her, "What's wrong?"
She shook her head, "Nothing . . . I was just wondering about Yue."
"He and Ruby haven't returned yet, Keroberos is starting to get a little tetchy . . ." He wrapped his arms around her waist and pulled her away from the window, "after you have had a decent sleep, Eriol and I will go retrieve them." Sakura sighed and allowed herself to be pulled away back to the bed. She smiled as she realised Syaoran was sinking into the warm bed himself. This was something he rarely allowed himself to do. She pulled his arms around her and turned over to face him. Syaoran sighed, "You were magnificent today . . ."
Sakura blushed, "Arigato . . . although I still need to get my twist right . . ."
"I've seen you do it perfectly before . . . Remember when you were faced against the Void card?" He raised his fingers to brush her cheek gently, "You were so determined . . ." He smiled, "I love you."
Sakura pressed her face against him, and allowed her magic to intertwine with his, "I love you too . . ."
Syaoran sighed as he felt her strong rose pink aura press against his own green soul. He smiled and regretfully sat up. He rolled and put his feet on the floor. Sakura watched him as he retrieved the tea he had brought up.
"What has the response been from your family?"
Syaoran paused with his back to her, "To you?" He asked cautiously, he had yet to tell her, while his mother had grown accustomed to her, the Elders . . .
"No, I meant about my brother and having Clow's magic."
He breathed a sigh of relief quietly and turned back to her, "I haven't told them . . ." He raised a teasing eyebrow, "I did only just find out . . ."
Sakura blushed, "That's true . . ." She smiled and lay back to stare at her ceiling, "It feels so strange to know that my brother is now just as powerful as I am . . ." She closed her eyes, and murmured, "I can feel him now . . . Now I know what I'm looking for, I can feel him . . ."
Syaoran sat beside her as he sipped his tea and watched her, she was very powerful now, just as he had increase his magic over the years as well. He blushed slightly as he realised he still had a little way to go before he reached his mother's levels but still, the Li clan were indeed very powerful now. He looked at Sakura again as she started to drift off into a light sleep, she was so beautiful to him, and it was hard to imagine that he could ever spend another day without her.
The elders had been calling for his return, but with his engagement to Meilin over, and his mother managing his position as clan head, he had stayed in Japan. He was planning of staying until he could propose to Sakura, even though he was very aware that with her background, Sakura might not be considering marrying until she was much older. Syaoran hadn't had such a luxury, he had been told, as with his training, that it was all for the good of the clan that he find a wife, settle, and produce at least one offspring. Ensuring the Li clan remained the most powerful family in China. He shook his head, he wanted this as well, and with the addition of his love, not to mention the card mistress, he felt this could all be achieved, but still the elders didn't seem to approve of a girl that hadn't been brought up in the Li clan tradition.
Like Clow Reed's mother, every Li clan girl had been trained hard, in magic, in martial arts, in practical living. Women in the Li clan were always treated as equals, and were highly respected. While the rest of china were only just realising this, the Li's had been accustomed to this idea for the last six hundred years. However, the elders objected to the idea that Sakura might not be as fully trained in the instinct to maintain the family as Syaoran had. He stroked the side of her face gently; he knew she was . . . if only he could make them see her at her very best like he did every day, in every encounter they faced, even when she was training.
"One day . . ." He whispered, "I will find proof enough for them . . . one day . . ."
Eriol smiled as he moved quietly around the Kinomoto household. Touya had retired to his room; his first use of Clow's magic had actually tired him. Keroberos and Spinel sun were sleeping lightly in the living room, the winter taking it's toll on them as usual. The Moon guardians were still out, it had worried Keroberos slightly, but Eriol promised that as soon as everyone had had some rest, then they would retrieve the errant guardians.
Quiet singing drew him to the warm kitchen, it was Tomoyo, of course; she sat on a stool by the oven, sewing patiently. He stood in the doorway, momentarily hiding his aura. It was habit, but he quickly realised that Tomoyo, being the only one without any magic, couldn't sense him. Her back was to him, as she sang something . . . He closed his eyes and smiled, something in French. It sounded like something that should have a deep, slow piano and sweet violins to it.
Her perfect harmony and simple indulgence in such an undemanding task as sewing made him stare wistfully at her. He was very deeply in love with her, he had realised this a long time ago. Tilting his head, and wrapping his arms around himself, he watched her silently. The smell of warm cake floated easily past him, he closed his eyes, and took it all in. She was warm, simple . . . after years of having so much magic, so much power; Eriol longed to be as Tomoyo was.
Normal.
He wanted her, as well, her gentle kindness, her patient care. And he would give her everything that he was in return, his life, his soul, his magic. He smiled, as she paused in her singing to check her sewing up against the light. She was creating under-robes for the large pink cloak she had made for Sakura. He had to admit, while this cloak of Sakura's was nice, it's deep pink suiting her well, it was Tomoyo's that he preferred, especially in the snow. He'd been caught once or twice in his games with Sakura that morning, distracted when his eyes fell on Tomoyo.
The deep purple cloak spread around her, flecked with white snow, her dark hair falling around her shoulders in lazy ringlets. She watched their flight with avid interest, her generous pale lips smiling gently. He noted with a sigh, puberty had been kind to, not only Sakura, but also her during his time away. She had a slight waist, rounded at the hips where Sakura was jutting; her legs were slim and strong, arms deceivingly delicate, pale hands soft and cleanly manicured. Her posture was gentile, and refined, her eyes clear and still as kind as the first day he saw her.
Eriol sighed silently, as she resumed her song, she was so charming . . . she offered him everything he wanted, needed, desired in a companion . . . after so long a time, even his past life was so lonely. He had loved Yue, he'd loved Yue still, but . . . Touya was the one for Yue, and Eriol was merely the reincarnation for Sakura's test. He knew he was supposed to be with Kaho, thus making sense of her involvement in the entire affair . . . He frowned slightly, at the promises his parents had made to Kaho's family to make them send her with Clow's bell rather than their only son. They had wanted to keep him a little while longer, and therefore agreed to engage him to Kaho. However, when he had come to Japan to fulfil his destiny with Sakura, he had realised that Tomoyo was someone he had longed for.
She was unburdened, without immense magic. Tomoyo had a little, he doubted she could sense it, but she had the smallest of magic within her soul . . . she didn't have to observe common rituals, see every ghost, every spirit . . . //Wasn't proclaimed the saviour of the magic world from the day she was born . . .// Eriol shook his head as Clow's usual complaint rang through, Clow and his reincarnation had always been plagued by the pressure of eager magicians and other such magical persons. Tomoyo had never had any such pressures . . . she was normal, and caring, and totally loving.
Tomoyo giggled to herself slightly as she held up the dress again, "Everything must be perfect for Sakura-chan!" She held it close to her chest, "I must try my hardest!"
Eriol's sweet daydream was broken. She was totally loving . . . of Sakura, not of him. He stepped in closer quietly, as Tomoyo once again resumed her singing, his chest constricting with a deep pain. He was the most powerful magician in the western sphere, and equalled only by Touya in the eastern, and yet . . . Tomoyo's eyes slid closed as she began a new song. It was in English, and Eriol could easily fit the words to his heart. It was a promise of love, a promise to love even when it was never to be returned.
He raised his hand slightly, letting it hover behind her. Some darker part of him, some small part of Clow burned darkly. He could *make* her forget her love for Sakura . . . or at least he could dampen it. He could cast any number of spells, each would make her obey his every command, satisfy his every desire . . . whisper sweet nothings into his ear at night and sound like she meant it. His eyes narrowed coldly, he could make her love him forever and always . . . his hand began to glow slightly . . .
The snow fell in soft swirls as Ruby sat in the tree with Yue.
"Are you okay?" She said quietly, surprising herself with the sound of her voice, it had now been three hours since either had said a single word. She looked at Yue, who looked back at her, surprise raising a single eyebrow.
"I'm fine . . ." A ghost of a smile flittered over his features, "It's nice to have you back in Japan . . ." Now she raised an eyebrow, he looked away, "I do *like* you . . . you are my cousin, remember?"
"It's strange having family, isn't it?"
"Not really, Clow Reed always insisted . . . I was always Little One, Keroberos was always Oniichan, and Clow was always . . ."
Ruby giggled teasingly, "Pappy?"
Yue's head snapped towards her, "No . . . Always Clow, he never insisted that we call him father . . . Eriol?"
"For a little while . . . although . . ." Ruby looked thoughtfully up at the snowing sky, "He made us stop it when Suppi wanted to call him Papa . . ." Yue gasped quietly, and looked away. //Papa . . .?// he frowned slightly, Ruby glanced at him. Yue appeared to be lost in thought, "Nani?"
Yue's eyes cleared, and he came back to the present. "Papa? It sounds so familiar . . ." He looked at Ruby, "Why did he stop letting you call him this?"
"I don't know . . ." Ruby shrugged, "Bad things from Clow's past, I guess . . ."
"Clow said we never brought a moment of sadness to his life . . ." Yue murmured quietly, staring at her.
Ruby looked up at the sky again, it was getting dark again. "Perhaps not from the time when you were created to the moment he died . . . but what about his life before . . .?"
"Clow never liked to talk about the past . . ." Yue held out his hand and caught a snowflake in his hand. He stared at it intently, as he murmured, "Oniichan either . . . everything I know about the mansion is from the books . . ."
Ruby chuckled, "I know . . ."
Yue looked at her, allowing the snowflake to fall from his cold finger once more, "How do you know?"
She leant against him and whispered, "Hiirawagizawa-sama's library is merely Clow's with the additions that Hiirawagizawa-sama has bought or written . . . Suppi reads them all the time . . . he found one of your incantation books, it's filled with notes and scribbles and . . ." She eyed him, "I would never thought about you as a doodler. Yue blushed, as she laughed, "I brought them with me."
"Brought what?"
"The book, all of your books and Keroberos'!" She smiled proudly, "I'm sure Hiirawagizawa-sama won't mind that you have them back!"
He folded his arms and fluttered his wings, "Did you even bother to ask?"
"No . . ." she smiled, "Hiirawagizawa-sama might have said 'No' . . ."
Yue rolled his eyes, and shook his head as the snow continued to fall in swirls.
Tomoyo blinked as she felt a movement behind her, she gasped when someone placed their hand on her shoulder. Eriol chuckled and walked around, "I forget that you can't feel me coming . . ." he trailed off when he noticed her rubbing her index finger against her thumb slightly, "Gomen nasai . . . I've hurt you . . ."
Tomoyo smiled and waved the finger slightly, "It's just a needle prick, no harm . . ."
Eriol looked around quickly, and pulled another stool closer to the oven, he picked up her hand and pulled it over into his lap. Grasping it gently, he pulled up his other hand and waved it slowly over the small puncture. She looked at him as he concentrated on healing the insignificant wound. Eriol looked slightly . . . angry with himself. His brows were drawn together as if he was internally berating himself; she frowned, Hiirawagizawa Eriol was one person she never expected to ever be angry at himself for doing something. She wondered what he had done; it couldn't have been for that shock, the injury was so small it didn't even warrant his magic to heal.
She watched his face as he gently inspected his handiwork, it will sting for a few moments still . . . he mumbled quietly, before resting her hands between his gently. There was a warm tingle as he held her hand, and she assumed he was still directing magic into her hand, she couldn't feel any sting. He was trying her hardest to keep what little discomfort she might feel from her.
That was just like him, she noticed, he was a gentle boy . . . //. . .Man// she mentally corrected, he was a man trapped in a boy's body because of his almost overwhelming magic. She felt her head swim slightly as she took in his features. Like Syaoran, Eriol had come into the teenaged years easily, his hair had only grown slightly, and his skin as pale and soft as the day they first met. His lavender-grey eyes retained their mischievous sparkle, but his grace and maturity made him almost irresistible.
She smiled slightly as she realised that was his one advantage over Sakura, he was someone who could understand her properly. She chewed the inside of her cheek a little before speaking, "Hiirawagizawa-kun?"
He didn't look up as he stared at her hand again, "Hai?"
"Daijobu desu ka?" She asked quietly, he looked so . . . out of character, she wondered if he was all right.
His eyes flittered up and glanced at her over the rim of his spectacles then looked back down again, he rested her hand in his again, "What makes you ask?"
"You seem . . . angry . . . doushite?"
Eriol swallowed, and looked away from their clasped hands, "No reason . . ."
"Could it be because of Touya-kun?" She raised an eyebrow as he looked at her, and snorted with half amusement.
"Hardly . . ." He sighed, and smiled fondly at her. "Sakura looks so well, you must take so much care over her . . ."
Tomoyo blushed, "She is Sakura-chan . . . I must take care of her . . . she might not need it but I . . ."
"You give her your love anyway . . ." He smiled, "She does need you . . ." Eriol stood, "The keeper of my former life's cards has chosen her friends well . . ." He walked past her, pausing to rest a hand on her shoulder. Tomoyo looked up at Eriol as he stared to the door, a half smile quirking his profile, "You are . . . a wonderful friend . . ."
Tomoyo blinked and sat for a few moments after he left, just thinking about his words. She only came out of her deep thoughts when she remembered she was baking. As Daidouji Tomoyo tended to the sweet smelling cake, she didn't notice the rapidly fading magical burn in the kitchen counter, the hand print was fading away as the powerful magic of the spell evaporated . . . the spell unused as lust and temptation gave way to love and respect . . .
Keroberos rolled on to his back, and opened his eyes. The room was darker now. Yawning and stretching, he quickly rolled on to his back and changed into his smaller form. He followed his nose through to the kitchen. "Konbanwa, Keroberos . . ." Eriol murmured as he set the table, he turned to look at the guardian beast, "Sleep well?"
Keroberos looked around, "Where is Yue?"
Yukito strolled into the room carrying a large tray of food, "Konbanwa, Kero-chan!"
"Konbanwa . . ." Kero smiled, and fluttered after his brother, "When did you return?"
"You worry too much Oniichan . . ." The snow rabbit smiled gently and patted the small yellow guardian, "I came home an hour ago," Yukito murmured, and started to arrange the various bowls of food. He smiled as Kero fluttered over him, and landed softly on his head. Since Fujitaka's death Kero and Yukito had grown much closer, Kero seemed to mourn the death, but wanted to comfort Yukito more. He was very apt at it, Yukito noticed; he explained that while Yukito evidently didn't have much memory of it, he and Yue had been inconsolable when Clow had died.
He tilted his head so he could see his brother as the small golden bear slid on to his shoulder, "'Niichan?"
"Hai?"
"Why don't I remember Clo---?"
Kero sighed and shook his head, "We have had this conversation before little one . . ." He fluttered off and folded his arms, "You were made to forget because it might have affected Yue's judgment of Sakura."
Yukito sighed, "True . . . demo . . ."
"Hai?" The tiny golden guardian sank towards the table, and started to pick at the breadbasket, he picked out a small roll and started to chew on it absently. "What is it, little one?"
"What was I like when I was younger?" Yukito knelt by the table and rested his chin on his arms as he stared at Keroberos.
"You were sweet like sugar . . ." Kero blinked and looked up, Touya was standing in the doorway, he continued, "And you were as happy as you are now . . ." He fell silent and nodded slightly, his blue eyes crimped slightly, "Hello . . . my guardians . . ."
Yukito giggled as he fed Keroberos some more bread, the large lion slobbered all over his hand, "Kero-chan!" Yuki chided through his laughter, "Stop it!"
Kero smiled happily, "I can't help it little one!" He leant over and licked Yuki's cheek, "You taste so nice!"
"Ayyyaaaa!!" Yuki squealed, "That's ticklish!!"
Nakuru giggled so hard her drink went the wrong way, Spinel shook his head, and said in a haughtily sarcastic tone, "Keroberos, these are very immature Moon guardians, don't you think?"
Kero snorted, and adopted the best British accent he could muster, "I say, I think you're right there Spinel ol' boy!"
Touya suddenly stood and paced out into the kitchen, Sakura followed close on his heels, "Oniichan?"
He was gripping the counter very hard as the living room descended into another bout of laughter, "Iie . . . it's nothing, Sakura-chan . . ."
"Sakura-chan?" Sakura repeated, a little confused, "Oh! That's right . . . Clow-sama?"
Clow turned quickly, "Iie!" He paced over quickly and motioned her to sit with him, he smiled and clasped her hands, "I am now with your brother, I wish for you to call me by a more familiar name . . ."
Sakura smiled, "Hai, Clow-san?"
"Good enough for now . . ." There was another bout of laughter, followed by Nakuru protesting hard about being made to laugh while she was drinking. Touya's face crumpled again slightly.
"What's wrong?"
He looked at her, "I missed them for so long . . . Yue and Keroberos . . . being so close and yet . . ." He sighed, "I am no longer a big part of their life anymore . . ."
"Iie!" Sakura leant towards him, "You are . . . Yue has many nice stories he always tells of you . . . and Kero---" Sakura clapped her hands over her mouth and blushed.
Clow tilted his head, and smiled, "Nani?"
"Kero-chan . . . always said that you were a man with . . ."
"Many problems?" Sakura's head snapped up, and Clow laughed, "I know . . . he always said it . . . even to my face . . . even though I was his master!"
Eriol smiled as his soul's other half re-entered, "Ah, Touya-san!"
Touya blinked, feeling a little disorientated as Clow stepped back into the shadows of his mind, "Hai?"
"I have a gift for you . . ." Eriol smiled and levitated a box over, "I meant to give it to your father demo . . ." He shook his head, "I realised it may have been a little too small for him . . ." The box landed easily in Touya's hands, "I'm sure if we ask Daidouji-chan for a little assistance they will fit perfectly . . ."
Syaoran shook his head, "The hat's too tilted to the left . . ."
Touya knelt down in exasperation, "Then you correct it then . . ."
Syaoran lifted the small hat off Touya's head and brushed it off. It was just like his family's traditional hat, the same one he wore in his traditional robes, but it was in matching colours with Touya's new set of robes, and his didn't have any jewel stones. It was a simple hat; with black as its main colour, and deep purple lining, where Syaoran was orange, Touya was a deep purple. It had bright sunflower yellow, as it's borders, which matched the robes. Touya's robes looked similar to Clow Reed's except it was all a lot more practical.
Eriol laughed at this observation, saying Clow always figured that Fujitaka would be the more practical of the two.
Nakuru eagerly help Touya pull on the second layer of clothing, the first was a very simple white linen shirt, and loose white linen trousers, all tied at the waist by a thick, black belt. The second was a slightly more complicated sunflower yellow and royal blue waistcoat, that was exactly like Clow's. Everything in Clow's favourite robes was repeated here in Touya's but for the trousers and the infinitely more practical jacket. The jacket had a similar baggy, cloak-like feel to it, but it had simple loose sleeves, and the back held Clow's magic circle, black lines upon gold. Keroberos remarked it was Clow's travelling cloak, the one he used to use when he wanted his full cloak to arrive at their destination un-creased, he'd nudged Sakura when he mentioned that Clow soon became so attached to his full cloak that he started to not care about it getting creased.
Sakura raised her fist and growled at him, "Kero-chan!" Which had the guardian beast laughing nervously. Sakura turned her attention back on to her brother. Syaoran patted the hat on firmly, tilting it back slightly, so it rested on her brother's crown as Syaoran's usually did.
Nakuru smiled as she and Yukito assisted with Touya's coat. "There now . . ." she stepped back, and brushed some lint off the sleeves, "That's perfect . . . don't you think?"
Tomoyo nodded, and sat beside Eriol, "I think the trousers could be a bit longer, as could the coat and waistcoat . . . everything this just needs a little taking out, so Touya-kun can grow into it . . ." she glanced at Eriol, "How are your robes?"
"They're fine," Eriol smiled, "But thank you anyway . . ."
"Perhaps . . ." Tomoyo nodded, "Perhaps I should created something similar for Sakura-chan . . ."
Sakura smiled, "Iie! I like the bright clothes you create for me!" She turned to her brother, and smiled, "It looks very handsome Oniichan . . . although aren't you meant to do up the buttons?"
Touya's hand went to his neck, there were three buttons for the collar, he frowned, "I can't do the damned things up." Yuki stood, and smiled as he did the three star, Moon and sun shaped fasteners up for him. He stepped back to look Touya over once, "There now you look like a real magician."
Touya frowned at him, and glanced at his sister, "Better?"
"Hai!" Sakura giggled as she hugged him quickly, "Now we are a family of magicians!" She paused, "Demo . . ."
"Hai?"
She looked up, "What will we do about your staff?"
"Don't worry, Sakura-chan," Eriol stood, "When the time is right Touya will create his own staff . . ."
"When will that be?" Touya adjusted the cuffs slightly, and quietly slipped his hand into Yuki's, the snow rabbit smiled back. Eriol chuckled, and walked over to Syaoran, "You will have to ask your teacher . . ."
Touya's head snapped over to Syaoran, "Teacher?!"
Syaoran raised an eyebrow, "You will not get your staff or wand until you have been trained in the art of magic . . . I, Keroberos, Yue, Eriol, and Spinel will be your teachers . . ."
Tomoyo chuckled, "And what about Sakura-chan and Ruby Moon?"
Syaoran frowned at her, as Eriol snorted, "I seem to recall that the Li clan, with the exception of Clow Reed's mother, do not allow women to teach magic to men . . . they may learn it, they may teach it to other women, but they may not teach a man . . ."
Nakuru spluttered as she took to her feet, "I am just a good a teacher as Suppi!"
As Ruby protested, Touya led Yukito into the hallway. "Will you teach me magic too, Yuki-kun?"
Yukito blushed, "I don't know any . . ."
Touya smiled, and stepped forward, "Demo . . ." he wrapped his arms around the snow rabbit's waist, "You cast such a spell over me . . . I can hardly break free of your power . . ." Yukito smiled and rested his head on Touya's shoulder, the taller dark haired boy smiled gladly, "I'm glad to see that finding out about Clow and I being one hasn't changed anything . . ." Yukito instantly stiffened, Touya frowned, ". . . Or has it?"
Yukito pulled away slightly, "I feel Yue . . . he feels . . . uncomfortable with the idea . . ."
Something clouded Touya's eyes briefly, "May I speak with him?"
Yukito felt Yue force him take a step back, "No."
Touya's face creased slightly, "Yue . . ."
"I said no." Yue forced Yukito to retreat even more, Touya nodded slightly as Yukito started to walk up the stairs. The snow rabbit paused, "I'm sorry . . ." He murmured without looking back, he continued up the stairs, not waiting for Touya's answer.
"Iie . . ." Touya whispered, staring after him sadly, "I understand . . ."
--------------------------
And Now It's Time To Leave It To ---
Clow: Clow Reed!! [Sits in DrM's usual chair] konnichiwa, and welcome to the next instalment of There Lies Hope, I *hope* you are keeping up with all the info-dump-ness of this chapter!! Worthy of Nelvana, I say!! [looks around] you maybe wondering where DrM is. . . well, she's called a sickie, and so I'll be hosting today's show. . .
Eriol: What about me?!
Clow: [All sarky like]Ooooh, mister 'I will survive'! What do you want?!
Eriol: Just because I am the only one who will definitely see the dawn at the end of this fic, doesn't mean you can taunt me!!
Sakura: And what about me?! I'm the title character and *I* don't have a guarantee that I will see the new dawn at the end!!
DrM: [Drags self to show] Must . . . get to . . . fic . . . Mustn't let Clow and co spill . . . all the beans . . . must get . . .
Yue: [growls] What are you doing here?! You should be in bed, not typing up A/Ns!!
DrM: Must . . . ask . . . Readers, precious readers to R&R . . . and thank them for the *Fifty* Reviews . . . never expected There Lies Hope to do that well . . .
Yue: [picks DrM up] Okay, you've done that . . . now back to bed with thee!!
Clow: [sighs] My moment in the limelight stolen by DrM again . . . [sighs] Oh well, 'till next time!! Please R&R!!