Author's Note: I don't own 'X-men' or 'Lumberjack Song'. They belong to Marvel Comics and Monty Python.


Wolverine Song (Sung by Wolverine and the X-men)

By Charles Xavier


"Hey, Wolverine!" Said Jubilee. "What's it like being yourself?"

"Well, Jubes, I've always enjoyed being an X-men. And with you by my side, it just makes me want to sing……sing…..sing……"


I am Wolverine

And I'm all right

I work all day

I like to fight


He is Wolverine

And he's all right

He works all day

And he likes to fight


I take down guys

I beat them up

I throw them in the garbage can

I sign my autographs

For all my die-hard fans


He takes down guys

He beats them up

He throws them in the garbage can

He signs his autographs

For all his die hard fans


He is Wolverine

And he's all right

He works all day

And he likes to fight


I take down guys

I cut them up

I slice them with my claws

I wear Jubilee's clothing

And hang with young male whores


He takes down guys

He cuts them up

He slices them with his claws

He wears Jubilee's clothing

And hangs with young male whores


Everyone looked at each other confused. Jubilee's smile dimmed, but still she stood beside Wolverine as he continued his song. Gene simply nudged Cyclops who began to support the others to carry on singing.


He is Wolverine

And he's all right

He works all day

And he likes to fight


I take down guys

I strip their clothes

I like to kiss their butts

I wish I'd been a homo

Just like my dear old pops


He takes down guys

He strips their clothes…..


The X-men looked at each other and scowled at Wolverine.

"Oh! Shut up!"

"You little pervert!"

"Tu es un petit merde!"

"Go back to where you came from!"

"We're leaving!"

"You're a disgrace!"


All the X-men left the scene, leaving Wolverine to sing for himself. Jubilee began to sulk silently.

"Oh, Wolverine!" She cried. "And I thought you were so cool!"