Author's Note:
This fanfic is in response to a challenge the InterNutter has on her web page. (Go to http://cat.devil.com for details. I believe it's on her "miscellaneous" page. Check out her other stuff while you're at it, too. She's got a lot of neat stuff.) While this story may not what she had in mind, I hope she enjoys it.
Please review and give me useful feedback. You don't flame me, I don't flame you. (And believe me, I can get very creative...) This story is still open to massive re-writes. I'm having issues with the fact that it seems so contrived...
Standard disclaimer: I don't own the X-men and I'm not making a dime (or even a nickel) off this story.
Radical Nike
Part Four
Kurt was reminded of when he was eleven and he had gotten himself wedged inside a hollow tree. He had been hiding from an angry farmer.
He had been completely innocent of any wrongdoing, of course. He had just had the bad luck of passing by when the wind had blown his hat off. The farmer had apparently not seen him performing at the circus the day before and assumed the worst. He had taken after the boy with nothing but the shovel he'd been carrying, yelling "Demon!" as loudly as he could. Kurt was so badly startled he had just run like mad.
Kurt's family had eventually tracked him down. He could almost remember the relief he had felt when Papa's ax had carefully split the trunk and he could breathe again.
He hadn't known how to teleport back then.
Why is it that when I'm being good that I get into the worst trouble?
The oddest thing about his current predicament was that he couldn't really feel his body. It was there, but he couldn't make it do anything.
At least when he was caught inside the tree, he could wiggle his fingers and toes.
He had already given up trying to teleport.
Looks like you're good and caught.
He tried to remember what the words on the outside of the jar were.
By the totem held within, thou are trapped inside. The words of the one who bears this token is thy law.
Romany sorcery. Nasty stuff. Someone had put that jar there, hoping he would pick it up. That someone knew his habits.
Oh, well. As soon as he got out of this mess, he'd simply change all his hiding spots.
Easy to say.
Kurt tried moving again, but no luck.
Damn.
Sylvan looked behind himself. No wolf, just other students. Maybe he had imagined the wolf. The ghostly hand, too.
Some sorcerer.
Reality asserted itself, as did teenage pride. He'd look awfully silly carrying a cookie jar to the soccer field, especially if he was trying to blend in. He slowed down and carefully stowed it under the bleachers. He'd collect it later.
He didn't notice the figures lurking in the shadows further down.
A trio of mutants watched the goth turn and walk away casually.
Pietro, of course, reached the thing first. "Man, I don't get it." He could talk slow when he wanted to. "It's just a stupid cookie jar." He picked it up and turned it at different angles, as if it would make him understand it better.
"So what's inside?" Todd asked sarcastically.
"Maybe it's his stash of weed or something and he didn't want to get caught with it inside the school," Tabitha Smith said brightly, snapping her gum loudly.
"Yeah, with everyone on the field, nobody could prove it belonged to anybody, yo?" Toad chortled.
Pietro scowled. "Like the buzz even lasts long enough."
"Speak for yourself, Silver." Tabitha pulled the lid off. "It's ours now. Besides, it's empty anywa-AY—"
Sulfurous smoke poured out and Pietro dropped the jar.
The Brotherhood scattered.
The smoke coalesced into the familiar form of Nightcrawler, who immediately collapsed to ground and began rubbing his limbs. His hologram flickered for a moment, then died completely.
He sighed at the sight of his blue hands and stretched. "Ach, that's so much better..." he trailed off when he saw his audience. "Vas? Did you do this to me?"
The mutants stared. "Um, Blue, how'd you get stuffed into a jar?" Tabitha asked weakly.
"Shut up, yo! He didn't know it wasn't us!" Todd yelled.
Nightcrawler grinned. "That's okay. I seriously doubt any of you have the intelligence necessary to pull this little trick off, anyway." He eyed the fallen cookie jar and bent to pick it up.
Light flared from the cookie jar and visible needles of light stabbed through Nightcrawler's hands.
Needless to say, but he let go of it in a hurry.
The Brotherhood mutants gathered around him while he rubbed his hands, panting.
Pietro was eyeing the jar with renewed interest. Grinning, he retrieved it from the ground. "Icantouchitjustfine. Iwonderwhathappenswhenyouputthelidbackon—" He made like he was going to replace the lid.
Nightcrawler's eyes popped open and he moved to stop him.
"Justkidding." Pietro idly spun the jar like a basketball. "Justrelax,furball."
To everyone's astonishment, Nightcrawler visibly un-tensed and stood at ease.
He was still glaring at Pietro, whose rapid mind came to a conclusion.
"You have to do what I say, don't you? Answer."
"Ja."
"Why?" Oh, this-was-waytoomuchfun!
"Some idiot put a spell on that jar to trap me inside. I have to do whatever the person holding it tells me to. If you shut it, I'll go back in."
He never stopped glaring.
"Smile."
Nightcrawler grinned, but his eyes were furious.
"Hopupanddown."
Nightcrawler began to hop up and down, still grinning.
"Whenyouhop,doathree-hundred-sixtydegreeturn."
Nightcrawler began to spin in mid-air, still grinning, but they could see it really, really hurt.
"Okay,youcanstopallthatnow."
Nightcrawler fell on his face and growled.
Pietro turned to his astonished accomplices.
"YouhaveGOTtotrythis."
Jean started and glanced towards the bleachers. "Kurt—?" She began to work her way through the crowd. *Kurt? Where are you?*
A moment passed before he responded. *Bleachers. Get me away from these jerks, please!*
There, she could see some rather familiar people underneath. *What's the Brotherhood doing to you?*
*Right now, taking turns bossing me around. Jean, they have a cookie jar. You need to get it away from them. My life may depend on it. My pride is already completely destroyed.*
*Kurt, what's going on?*
*JUST DO IT.*
Jean winced. *Scott, Kitty, Evan, Rogue. I've found Kurt. He's under the bleachers with the Brotherhood.*
She hurried under the bleachers, making sure no one paid any attention to what was going on. **The fire is much more interesting,** she projected. **Maybe someone's trapped inside the school. Watch for the rescue team.**
She crept up towards the Brotherhood. Toad looked in her direction. **I'm not here, there's absolutely nothing but litter in this direction.** Toad started picking at his ear with his pinky, ignoring her, when he suddenly started to laugh hysterically, pointing at something.
She drew closer and saw Nightcrawler running in a circle, chasing his own tail. He was chanting something in a language she didn't understand, but from his state of mind, it couldn't be too flattering.
*Scott, everybody, don't draw attention to me. I'm going to try and steal that jar that Boom-boom is holding. Focus on Nightcrawler. As soon as I have the jar, we need to get it as far away from them as possible.*
Scott sent an affirmative, though she knew he was as curious about the jar as she was.
"Maximov, what have you done to Kurt?" Scott appeared in the half-light beneath the bleachers, the shadows falling over him in stark lines.
Quicksilver laughed. "Wouldn'tyoulovetoknow,One-eye."
"He works for us now, foo. Check it out!" Toad gloated.
Boom-boom, who was currently holding the jar, smirked and casually said "Hey, Blue, grab Cyclops and drop him in the pool, would ya?"
Jean watched in shock as Kurt stopped chasing his tail and jumped onto Scott.
Bamf.
"What the Hell?" Rogue and Evan appeared simultaneously at opposite sides of the bleachers. "All right, I don't know what ya did ta Nightcrawler, but it's not gonna stop me from poundin' ya inta the ground, ya losers!"
Evan simply shot a round of spikes at them.
Jean concentrated on making the fire extremely interesting. *Kitty, you're going to have to get that jar. I'm too busy with damage control.*
Trust Kurt to tell them to pick a fight with the Brotherhood while the entire school was less than twenty feet away.
*PROFESSOR!*
Scott and Kurt re-appeared over the school's swimming pool and landed with a splash.
Kurt immediately grabbed him again and 'ported them to the deck.
"Sorry, mein Freund. As long as they got that cursed jar, I have to obey them." Kurt shook his arms, spraying water all over. He looked as pleased as a wet cat.
"The jar that Jean mentioned."
"Ja."
"How did that happen?"
"Do you believe in sorcery, Scott?"
"Uh, not really."
"Well, as of today, you do," Kurt growled. "If I disappear, by the way, don't be alarmed. That just means that someone put the lid back on the jar."
"Oh-kay." Kurt definitely became stranger the longer you knew him. "Can we discuss this on the way back to the field?"
"I am not going back there, man." He squeezed some water out of his shirt. "Maybe Tabitha will forget all about me and that jar if she doesn't see me. I do not want to drop any more of you into the pool—or anywhere else, for that matter."
Scott saw the look on his face and decided not to argue. He thought furiously for a moment. "Return to the mansion. Get a new holowatch. Then 'port yourself back into the school. Everyone thinks that you were abducted this morning and the police were called. We need to give them something to work with..."
Kurt twitched. The last thing he wanted was the police to see him and think he really was a legitimate demon...
Scott didn't notice. "Find yourself somewhere extremely out of the way that someone can conceivably be kept locked inside of."
Rats in the basement, Kurt reminded himself thoughtfully. "Then what?"
"Start yelling and screaming for all you're worth. Oh, give me your wallet."
Kurt handed it over, and watched as the older boy cleaned out his cash and credit cards. "Throw this away where someone can find it, too." With that, Scott turned and began to run back to the soccer field, his jeans plastered to his legs.
Kurt stared after him and raised his white eyes to the heavens. Dear Gott, not only am I a genie, I'm a mugging victim. This is turning into a bizarre, bizarre day, mein Freund... I guess I get to figure out a reason to explain why I'm sopping wet, too...
*Jean, don't let anyone put the lid back on that jar! Kurt will be trapped inside again!*
"Geez, Scott, as if I didn't have enough to do..." Fortunately, the Professor had been able to help divert the crowd's attention.
Neither of them could keep it up much longer.
Nearby, Kitty crouched, waiting her chance to seize the jar. Boom-boom was still hanging onto it like her life depended on it.
Evan and Rogue were trying to pin down Quicksilver.
Well, time for a practical test of your abilities, Shadowcat... Kitty lunged forward, charging at Boom-boom as fast as her feet could carry her.
Boom-boom saw her and threw a time bomb at her, but she phased and didn't even feel the heat. Reaching the blonde mutant, Kitty grabbed the open jar.
Easy as taking a football from an elf.
She didn't bother to stop running. She could hear Boom-boom cursing and swearing behind her. Kitty practically flew into the parking lot, ducking for cover among the cars. She whispered apologies to the owner's of the batteries and radios that she could feel shorting out as she passed through them.
Kitty couldn't hear Boom-boom chasing her anymore, but she phased herself into a mini-van to hide, just in case.
She looked at the object in her hands.
"A cookie jar?"
"Goddamnit, you little cunt." The bimbo had escaped. There was no way that she was going to break into every single car on the lot to find her. She nearly threw the jar's lid in frustration.
"Miss, is there a reason for you to be out here? All the students are supposed to be on the field."
"I must have taken a wrong turn," Tabitha seethed, then stalked her way back to all the nitwits watching the firetrucks.
The policeman let her go.
At least I still have the lid, for all the good it'll do me. Maybe we can use it as an ashtray or something...
Not long afterwards, a pair of firemen conducting a floor to floor search of the school heard someone yelling down in the basement. They managed to trace it to an old locker and pried it open with a fire ax.
"Danke. I was beginning to think nobody would find me."