Things That Go Bump In The Night
'Oh I know just what to do with you' squealed the Sorting Hat as he saw tiny Professor Flitwick furtively enter Dumbledore's office late that January night. 'Hush!' squeeked Professor Flitwick with a panicked glance towards the door. 'Imagine if Dumbledore heard us!' The brim of the hat turned up in what could only be described as amusement.
'Now behave, Hat' said Flitwick sounding commanding. 'It's my turn to be in charge tonight. And I've bought us a little something to play with.' 'I am sorry, master' said that battered black hat, noting with relief that the little old wizard in front of him was smiling again. Professor Flitwick reached deep into his robes and pulled out a pure black raven. The Sorting Hat gasped with excitement, the brim drooping off the edge of his shelf. 'I take it you are impressed?' inquired little Proffessor Flitwick. 'It is a thing of beauty! And who hasn't, at one time or another, wanted to have sex with all the sexy ravens?' Professor Flitwick nodded enthusiastically. This was why he loved the old hat so much, they were on the same wave length. That and the fact that the head gave terrific head. He smirked at his pun.
Professor Dumbledore padded softly along the corridor to his office holding his old gold lantern. Now that Voldemort had risen he was completely flooded with work, not just the regular running of the smooth which rarely went smoothly, but he was having to head the opposition to Voldemort as well since Fudge seemed to be in complete denial. Still, he knew that he could at least take comfort in the fact that he had a staff of highly professional, talented wizards working with him whom he would trust his life to. He muttered the password, 'acidpops', and climbed the stairs in his fluffy socks. He glanced down at the socks with a twinkle in his eye. That Christmas he had received not one, but seventy four pairs of socks from various people both in and out of Hogwarts. He had a feeling Harry had something to do with it. He reached his office door, pushed it open and stopped dead in his path. It wasn't often Albus Dumbledore was completely shocked but the sight before him was enough to do it. Professor Flitwick was laying back in one of the soft chairs by his fireplace with the thousand year old Sorting Hat perched on his rather impressive erection. 'Goodness,' Dumbledore thought, 'for such a tiny man he really is very blessed'. He gave himself a mental shake and forced himself to look back at Flitwick who, having registed Dumbledore in the room had frozen in panic. Dumbledore's eyes slid up and noticed something he hadn't seen on first observation. There was a raven pecking at Flitwick's nipples. 'Albus!' Flitwick squeaked. 'I was just. cleaning the Sorting Hat.' As soon as the words were out of his mouth Professor Flitwick mentally kicked himself. Honestly, cleaning the Sorting Hat? He would never buy that. Or would he? Flitwick casually glanced up to see Dumbledore standing in exactly the same position with a merry twinkle in his eye. He opened his mouth and just one word came out. 'Naked?' With a squeak Professor Flitwick leapt out of his seat and ran out of the office, clutching the hat in place to cover himself. Professor Dumbledore turned to the raven, perched on the edge of the chair.
'Honestly, I thought it was our night together this evening.'
'Oh I know just what to do with you' squealed the Sorting Hat as he saw tiny Professor Flitwick furtively enter Dumbledore's office late that January night. 'Hush!' squeeked Professor Flitwick with a panicked glance towards the door. 'Imagine if Dumbledore heard us!' The brim of the hat turned up in what could only be described as amusement.
'Now behave, Hat' said Flitwick sounding commanding. 'It's my turn to be in charge tonight. And I've bought us a little something to play with.' 'I am sorry, master' said that battered black hat, noting with relief that the little old wizard in front of him was smiling again. Professor Flitwick reached deep into his robes and pulled out a pure black raven. The Sorting Hat gasped with excitement, the brim drooping off the edge of his shelf. 'I take it you are impressed?' inquired little Proffessor Flitwick. 'It is a thing of beauty! And who hasn't, at one time or another, wanted to have sex with all the sexy ravens?' Professor Flitwick nodded enthusiastically. This was why he loved the old hat so much, they were on the same wave length. That and the fact that the head gave terrific head. He smirked at his pun.
Professor Dumbledore padded softly along the corridor to his office holding his old gold lantern. Now that Voldemort had risen he was completely flooded with work, not just the regular running of the smooth which rarely went smoothly, but he was having to head the opposition to Voldemort as well since Fudge seemed to be in complete denial. Still, he knew that he could at least take comfort in the fact that he had a staff of highly professional, talented wizards working with him whom he would trust his life to. He muttered the password, 'acidpops', and climbed the stairs in his fluffy socks. He glanced down at the socks with a twinkle in his eye. That Christmas he had received not one, but seventy four pairs of socks from various people both in and out of Hogwarts. He had a feeling Harry had something to do with it. He reached his office door, pushed it open and stopped dead in his path. It wasn't often Albus Dumbledore was completely shocked but the sight before him was enough to do it. Professor Flitwick was laying back in one of the soft chairs by his fireplace with the thousand year old Sorting Hat perched on his rather impressive erection. 'Goodness,' Dumbledore thought, 'for such a tiny man he really is very blessed'. He gave himself a mental shake and forced himself to look back at Flitwick who, having registed Dumbledore in the room had frozen in panic. Dumbledore's eyes slid up and noticed something he hadn't seen on first observation. There was a raven pecking at Flitwick's nipples. 'Albus!' Flitwick squeaked. 'I was just. cleaning the Sorting Hat.' As soon as the words were out of his mouth Professor Flitwick mentally kicked himself. Honestly, cleaning the Sorting Hat? He would never buy that. Or would he? Flitwick casually glanced up to see Dumbledore standing in exactly the same position with a merry twinkle in his eye. He opened his mouth and just one word came out. 'Naked?' With a squeak Professor Flitwick leapt out of his seat and ran out of the office, clutching the hat in place to cover himself. Professor Dumbledore turned to the raven, perched on the edge of the chair.
'Honestly, I thought it was our night together this evening.'