Wadsworth ==Sirius
Guard Dogs ==Fluffy
Yvette== Hermione
Mrs.Ho== Snape
Colonel Mustard== Seamus
Mrs. White== Dean
Mrs. Scarlet== Harry
Professor Plum==Draco
Mrs. Peacock== Parvati
Mr. Green== Ron
Mr. Boddy== Pansy
Motorist== Goyle
Cop== Lavendar
J. Edgar Hoover==Neville
Singing Telegram Girl== Crabbe
34 -- INT. GROUND FLOOR--THE STUDY -- 34
The camera faces the door that leads from the study to the hall.
The men are carrying the cook's body into the study, effectively blocking off the women's view.
Draco: (dropping Snape and pointing) Look!
Sirius and Ron: What?
Draco: The body's gone!
Snape is dropped.
Parvati: What are you all staring at?
Ron: Nothing . . .
Parvati: Well, who's there?
Seamus: Nobody.
Sirius: Nobody. No Body, that's what we mean. Mrs. Pansy's body. It's gone.
Dean: Maybe she wasn't dead.
Draco: She was.
Harry: We should have made sure!
Parvati: How? By cutting her head off, I suppose.
Dean: That wasn't called for.
Harry: Where is she?
Draco: We better look for her.
They look around.
Ron: Well . . . she couldn't have been dead.
Draco: She was. At least I thought she was. But . . . what difference does it make now?
Harry: It makes quite a difference to her. Maybe there is life after death.
Dean: Life after death is as improbable as sex after marriage.
Ron: Maybe Mrs. Pansy killed the cook!
Harry and Dean: Yes!
Sirius: How?
Ron is at a loss.
Parvati: Well, if you'll excuse me, I have to, um . . . (to Hermione) Is there a little girls' room?
Hermione: Oui, oui, madame.
Parvati: No, I just want to powder my nose, thank you.
Hermione is bewildered.
Parvati steps over Snape's corpse into the hall.
Harry, wandering around, picks up something.
Harry: What's this, Sirius?
Sirius: I'm afraid those are the negatives to which Colonel Seamus earlier referred.
Seamus: (Going for them) Oh, my God!
Harry: Were you planning to blackmail him, Sirius?
Sirius: Certainly not! I'd obtained them for the Colonel, and I was going to give them back as soon as Mrs.Pansy was unmasked.
Harry: Mmmm . . . very pretty. Would you like to see these, Hermione? They might shock you . . .
Hermione: No, merci. I am a lay-dee.
Harry: Oh, how do you know what kind of pictures they are if you're such a "lay-dee"?
Draco: What sort of pictures are they?
Seamus: They are my pictures, and I'd like them back, please.
Harry: No, I'm afraid there's something in them that concerns me too.
Prof. Draco snatches the pictures and holds them up to the light.
Draco: Let me see . . .
Dean: (looking) Oh, my. Nobody can get into that position.
Draco: (putting the pictures down) Sure they can. Let me show you.
Draco starts to demonstrate with Dean on the couch.
Dean: Get off me!
35 -- INT. GROUND FLOOR--THE HALL--REAR -- 35
Parvati opens the door to the bathroom.
She screams.
Mrs. Pansy's body falls out and lands in her outstretched arms.
She is almost certainly dead now; her head is bloody.
The party runs out to help her.
Draco: Mrs. Pansy!
Ron: She's attacking her!
They pull the corpse off Parvati.
Dean: Well, she's dead.
Sirius: Mrs. Pansy. Dead. Again.
Parvati: (fanning herself) Oh, my God . . .
Sirius: She's going to faint.
Draco: Somebody catch her!
Sirius: (going behind Parvati and encircling her with his arms) I'll catch you. Fall into my arms. (she slips right through them.) Sorry . . .
Dean: (looking at Ron) You've got blood on your hands . . .
Ron: (panicking) I didn't do it!
Sirius: She's got new injuries.
He picks up Mrs. Pansy's arm and lets it fall again.
Sirius: Well, she's certainly dead now. Why would anyone want to kill her twice?
Harry: It seems so unnecessary.
Seamus: It's what we call "overkill."
Draco: It's what we call "psychotic."
Ron: Unless she wasn't dead before.
Draco: What's the difference?
Sirius: (shouting) That's what we're trying to find out! We're trying to find out who killed her, and where, and with what!
Draco: There's no need to shout!
Sirius: (even louder) I'm not shouting!! All right, I am. I'm shouting, I'm shouting, I'm shout--
At which point the candlestick, which had been nestled above the bathroom door, falls and hits him on the head.
Sirius hits the floor.
Guard Dogs ==Fluffy
Yvette== Hermione
Mrs.Ho== Snape
Colonel Mustard== Seamus
Mrs. White== Dean
Mrs. Scarlet== Harry
Professor Plum==Draco
Mrs. Peacock== Parvati
Mr. Green== Ron
Mr. Boddy== Pansy
Motorist== Goyle
Cop== Lavendar
J. Edgar Hoover==Neville
Singing Telegram Girl== Crabbe
34 -- INT. GROUND FLOOR--THE STUDY -- 34
The camera faces the door that leads from the study to the hall.
The men are carrying the cook's body into the study, effectively blocking off the women's view.
Draco: (dropping Snape and pointing) Look!
Sirius and Ron: What?
Draco: The body's gone!
Snape is dropped.
Parvati: What are you all staring at?
Ron: Nothing . . .
Parvati: Well, who's there?
Seamus: Nobody.
Sirius: Nobody. No Body, that's what we mean. Mrs. Pansy's body. It's gone.
Dean: Maybe she wasn't dead.
Draco: She was.
Harry: We should have made sure!
Parvati: How? By cutting her head off, I suppose.
Dean: That wasn't called for.
Harry: Where is she?
Draco: We better look for her.
They look around.
Ron: Well . . . she couldn't have been dead.
Draco: She was. At least I thought she was. But . . . what difference does it make now?
Harry: It makes quite a difference to her. Maybe there is life after death.
Dean: Life after death is as improbable as sex after marriage.
Ron: Maybe Mrs. Pansy killed the cook!
Harry and Dean: Yes!
Sirius: How?
Ron is at a loss.
Parvati: Well, if you'll excuse me, I have to, um . . . (to Hermione) Is there a little girls' room?
Hermione: Oui, oui, madame.
Parvati: No, I just want to powder my nose, thank you.
Hermione is bewildered.
Parvati steps over Snape's corpse into the hall.
Harry, wandering around, picks up something.
Harry: What's this, Sirius?
Sirius: I'm afraid those are the negatives to which Colonel Seamus earlier referred.
Seamus: (Going for them) Oh, my God!
Harry: Were you planning to blackmail him, Sirius?
Sirius: Certainly not! I'd obtained them for the Colonel, and I was going to give them back as soon as Mrs.Pansy was unmasked.
Harry: Mmmm . . . very pretty. Would you like to see these, Hermione? They might shock you . . .
Hermione: No, merci. I am a lay-dee.
Harry: Oh, how do you know what kind of pictures they are if you're such a "lay-dee"?
Draco: What sort of pictures are they?
Seamus: They are my pictures, and I'd like them back, please.
Harry: No, I'm afraid there's something in them that concerns me too.
Prof. Draco snatches the pictures and holds them up to the light.
Draco: Let me see . . .
Dean: (looking) Oh, my. Nobody can get into that position.
Draco: (putting the pictures down) Sure they can. Let me show you.
Draco starts to demonstrate with Dean on the couch.
Dean: Get off me!
35 -- INT. GROUND FLOOR--THE HALL--REAR -- 35
Parvati opens the door to the bathroom.
She screams.
Mrs. Pansy's body falls out and lands in her outstretched arms.
She is almost certainly dead now; her head is bloody.
The party runs out to help her.
Draco: Mrs. Pansy!
Ron: She's attacking her!
They pull the corpse off Parvati.
Dean: Well, she's dead.
Sirius: Mrs. Pansy. Dead. Again.
Parvati: (fanning herself) Oh, my God . . .
Sirius: She's going to faint.
Draco: Somebody catch her!
Sirius: (going behind Parvati and encircling her with his arms) I'll catch you. Fall into my arms. (she slips right through them.) Sorry . . .
Dean: (looking at Ron) You've got blood on your hands . . .
Ron: (panicking) I didn't do it!
Sirius: She's got new injuries.
He picks up Mrs. Pansy's arm and lets it fall again.
Sirius: Well, she's certainly dead now. Why would anyone want to kill her twice?
Harry: It seems so unnecessary.
Seamus: It's what we call "overkill."
Draco: It's what we call "psychotic."
Ron: Unless she wasn't dead before.
Draco: What's the difference?
Sirius: (shouting) That's what we're trying to find out! We're trying to find out who killed her, and where, and with what!
Draco: There's no need to shout!
Sirius: (even louder) I'm not shouting!! All right, I am. I'm shouting, I'm shouting, I'm shout--
At which point the candlestick, which had been nestled above the bathroom door, falls and hits him on the head.
Sirius hits the floor.