Why, Hello and welcome to my little world of weirdness!

I state for the record that, while I really, really wish I did, I don't own any of the wonderful characters that will grace this story . . . they are all CLAMP's, always have been, always will be! However I do lay claim to a few of the original characters, for example . . . I own Hei-ying, and his false form, Tomodachi Yukito, I own Mystrasa Kyree, and Carolyn and Amanda Reed, I don't own The Dragon, Saurian because he is on loan from my very good friend, the ever intangible Blue Goo.

In This Tainted Soul . . . There Lies Hope . . .

By Dr Megalomania

Part Twelve: Hidden Angel

Yue lay in bed beside his brother, the lion snored softly. //He was the second . . . I am the third . . .// Yue closed his eyes as he felt the nausea build again, he was a third. Clow had taught him carefully in the ways of magic, and the law of triad had always been so very important . . . so always very stressed . . . //And Clow ignored it . . .// Yue closed his eyes and turned his head to the window, Clow Reed had ignored one of the most important rules of magic . . .

Yue felt dirty.

He sat up and looked at his pale hands, he felt tainted, soiled. He was a mistake surely, Clow couldn't have purposely ignored this rule purely to prove his prowess as a magician . . . Yue clenched his hands, it couldn't be. Clow must have gotten carried away with his spells, his desire to help the Cardcaptor, which is why he made this awful mistake. He looked at Keroberos; the lion had started to growl in his sleep, Yue reached out tentatively with his mind . . .

Keroberos growled as he sat in the doorway. The black haired angel smiled softly as he rocked the tiny new angel in his arms, "Keroberos . . ." The jade eyes flashed reproachfully, "You'll wake Yue . . ."

"I don't want you near him . . ."

The pale lips curved into a knowing smile, "And yet I am . . . and there will be nothing you can do about it . . . Yue and I are more matched to each other than you . . ." The small white haired angel gurgled quietly in his arms, "Soon Clow will realise his mistake . . . and destroy you . . . I'm sure he would rather have two angels, than a scraggly mongrel lion . . ."

. . . Yue blinked, the dream was so vague, and yet . . . he knew that it was a memory for Keroberos. Yue sighed and rolled off the bed, so . . . this eldest brother was humanoid like him . . . perhaps this was why Clow could never love him. Yue sighed and walked out of the room, needing to get away from the sleeping lion. He walked along the quiet corridor mentally listing every aura he felt, everyone was still here . . . he paused outside the study, Eriol, Sakura and Touya were still up. He stepped closer to the door, and listened. The sensation of déjà vu shook him, he had done this before . . . Yue blinked and shook his head, focusing once more on what was being said.

"I will not assure Yue of that!" Sakura stamped her foot, "No. Just because Clow made some stupid mistake I will not accept that Yue is an unstable component . . . the other guardian, the one you sealed away . . . what or who was he?"

Touya frowned and glanced at Eriol, Eriol sighed, "We cannot remember his name . . . All we can know is that he was almost exactly like Yue in every way . . . except his aura was that of the stars . . ."

"He was a star guardian?"

"Yes . . . originally, Clow intended to have Kero and him as your only guardians . . . he felt that the moon was too distant, too cold to be of use to you . . . but he realised he needed an impartial . . ." Eriol trailed off and fell silent, the conversation stopped for some reason. Yue bit his lip and pushed away from the door. He stumbled slightly as he felt that nausea build again. The door swung opened and Touya stared at him, "Yue . . ."

Yue sank to the floor mutely, "You created me out of necessity . . . never because you wanted me . . ." 

"No . . ." Touya stepped forward to pulled Yue to his feet, "That's not true."

"It is . . ." Yue pushed him back, "Get away from me!" Touya crouched on the floor, as the angel pulled his knees to his chest.

"Please listen to me, Yue . . ."

Yue blinked miserably, "You *lied* to me . . . You *told* me you created me because you *wanted* me, you had seen me in a vision and that you *wanted* me . . ."

"I did, I told you the truth . . . but what Eriol has said is also true . . ." He raised his hand, "Yue please . . . try to understand . . ."

Yue shrank back, dipping his head, not knowing what to believe . . .

He sat in the park, his enhanced enchanted hearing helping him hear every word spoken at the mansion of Clow's child reincarnation. He closed his eye, and listen to Yue. Concentrating hard, he sent his youngest brother a fragment of a memory the two guardian angels shared . . .

//I know you're there . . .//

Yue closed his eyes tightly, trying to block out everything . . .

"I know you're there . . ." A cruel voice hissed from behind the massive locked door, "I know you're there, I know it!"

Yue looked up, his tiny child body was racked with pain, he was miserable, "You're right . . ."

"Of course I am, I am your oniisan."

"Oniisan. . ." Yue mumbled, "how can I make things better? How can I make everyone happy again?"

"It's you." The voice hissed sagely, "it's always been you, you have brought disorder to this family, and the only way to make everyone ordered once more is by making sure you disappear."

Yue wrapped his arms around his knees; he blinked back the tears as the truthfulness of his brother's words rang true in his battered soul. "How can I make things ordered once more?"

"Make Yue disappear. Make him never come back. Make everyone forget about him, never show him to anyone, he is the disorder . . ." The voice chuckled a little, "That's why Clow gave us false forms, so he could hide Yue . . . don't you see? He hates Yue so much he wanted to hide him behind that beautiful Yukito, that ever gentle snow rabbit . . ."

Yue nodded, it made sense . . . it made utter and complete sense . . .

Yue gasped as he returned to the present, his eldest brother's voice still echoing around his mind . . .

. . . Hei-ying smiled as he retracted from Yue's mind, he started to swing back and forth on the large metal swing, his youngest brother's voice still echoing in his heart . . .

Yue lifted his head and stared at Touya, the memory faded away as soon as it came . . . he couldn't remember the specifics but the message was clear, he was a mistake . . . he was the wrong corner. Clow had created a triad, and because his magic was such a mix, the spell had gone wrong and Yue was the product . . . he was the unstable part of the spell. He was the real reason why Clow had never wanted him, and that was why The Other had obviously tried to solve the problem. He had told Yue the truth, he had explained the right way things were meant to be in, and had tried to get rid of Yue . . . he had succeeded for a few years . . . but Yue had reappeared . . .

The moon angel blinked as he stared at Touya, all emotion draining away from his heart . . .

Hei-ying stretched his feet into the air, as he swung backward, his white hands tightening on the cold metal chains. A smile quirked at his bloodless lips as he kept his last eye closed. "You need to think . . ."

"I need to think . . ." Yue mumbled as he got to his feet, Touya helped him a little lifting the angel's elbow.

"I understand that, but please, Yue . . ." Touya murmured, concern clouding his judgement, he didn't want to let Yue out of his sight at all, "Let us sit in the study where it is warm and . . ."

Hei-ying lent back as he swung forward, "You need to clear your mind . . . *Alone* . . . Come to me . . ."

"I need to clear my mind." Yue pulled his arm out of Touya's grasp and glanced at his Mistress, "Alone . . . Do I have your permission to leave this mansion, Mistress?"

Sakura stepped forward, worry and doubt marring her usually happy features. She started to nod slowly. Touya frowned and reached out to grab Yue's arm again, Sakura's arm snaked out and grabbed his hand. She looked up at Yue, "Only . . . only if . . ." She pulled out the Windy card, "Only if you take her with you . . ."

Yue took the card, the Windy spirit looked slightly worried, he sighed, but nodded his head.

Eriol sighed deeply as Yue stalked down the corridor, "Touya . . ." He grabbed the taller boy's other hand and pulled him back into the study, "Let Yue clear his head, than we can talk sense into him . . ."

Yukito looked around the quiet playground, why was he here? Why had Yue taken him here? Yuki sighed and wrapped his coat around himself tighter. He wondered what was so wrong, that Sakura had allowed Yue to leave in the middle of the night with the windy card as his protector. He sighed and sat on the swing, rocking gently.

"You're out late . . ." A quiet voice observed from behind him, "Very late indeed Tsukishiro-san . . ."

Yukito slowed his swinging to look around, Tomodachi was standing behind him. The brown haired boy smiled and pulled off his overcoat, he wrapped it around Yuki's shoulders, and sat in the swing behind him.

"How do you do that?"

"Do what?"

"Appear like that?" Yuki began to swing again, gently so not to drop Tomodachi's coat. The brown haired boy smiled and took out his light green handkerchief. He pulled his monocle from his eye, and started to clean it gently. "Perhaps I should ask you the same? How is it you appear in places and don't seem to know how you got there?"

Yuki smiled, "I asked first . . ."

Tomodachi chuckled quietly, "Very well . . . I felt someone in pain around here . . ." Yukito blinked as Yue woke up again, and started to listen. Tomodachi tilted his head back and stared into the clear night's sky, "I just wanted to help them . . . I can feel their confusion, their sorrow . . ."

"What do you know . . .?" Yukito felt his voice turn a little hoarse as Yue tried to speak.

Tomodachi smiled and looked at him, "You found out something about yourself that you don't like . . ." Yukito blinked, feeling Yue warming to this man, Tomodachi nodded, "I found out something about myself that I didn't like either . . ." He sighed and started to swing, his motions at the same time as Yuki's as they swung together. "I used to have brothers, two little brothers . . ."

Yuki blinked, Yue smiled sadly, //And I used to have an older brother . . .//

"They were taken away from me when they were very young . . . my middle brother might retain some memory of me . . . but my youngest . . ." Tomodachi swallowed heavily, "He . . . I . . . I doubt he has any memory of me at all . . ." The dark haired boy tilted his head back again, "All I want in life is to see them again . . ."

Yukito nodded, "Is that why you have come to Japan?"

"A little . . ." Tomodachi swallowed again, "I don't really . . ."

"I understand . . ." Yukito smiled, "It's okay . . . you needn't tell me . . ."

Tomodachi smiled and nodded, "Thank you . . . what about you? If I may ask . . ." He glanced at him, "Is it Touya?"

Yukito's swinging slowed slightly, "A little . . ."

The dark haired boy slowed to keep them in sync, "May I suggest the problem?" Yukito made no movement, but Yue was clearly listening. Tomodachi smiled and continued. "Feel free to correct me but . . . You and Touya have a relationship, it has been stable for years and years, and then something has happened to cause an imbalance . . . I suppose this must be the death of his father . . ." Yue started to nod slightly, and Yukito's features began to blank, "Since then, he feels a little more . . ." Tomodachi paused, "I'm reluctant to use the phrase possessive but it does seem to apply . . ."

"What are you talking about?" Yukito suggested quietly, he wasn't liking the conversation. His emotions were too raw, too open at the moment to tackle, he didn't feel the strength to fend off Tomodachi's encouraging smiles, his charming disposition, so very warm now . . . Yue nodded for him, "please . . . continue . . ."

Tomodachi tilted his head, "He objects to you spending time with me . . ."

A nod was his answer.

Tomodachi's eyes narrowed slightly as Yukito dipped his head to stare at the snow, a smirk built on his lips as he continued, "I shouldn't be surprised . . . I guess he just doesn't want you to figure out what it is to be treated like an equal . . ."

Yuki's head snapped up, "Pardon me?"

Tomodachi looked the picture of calm and serenity as he continued, "Pardon me for my bluntness, but from the first time I saw you two together, I genuinely thought that he was some sort of Master to you and you were nothing more than a well kept pet . . ." Tomodachi smiled slightly as if he had made a joke, "When I said I could sense magic I meant that I could sense . . . well, I had the feeling that you were some sort of magic construct and that he had created you for his own purpose . . ."

Yue's anger started to build at this idea, "I am no one's pet!"

"Indeed you aren't," Tomodachi slipped off his swing and stood in behind Yuki's, pushing the snow rabbit gently, while goading him further. "That's just the feeling I got from the way he looks at you at times . . ." Tomodachi frowned, he hated himself for being so obvious in his attempts, his Mistress' scripted phrases stuck to his tongue. He closed his eyes and pushed his unsuspecting brother again, "And now he wants to prevent you from talking to others about your feelings . . ." As Yukito swung back, Tomodachi grasped his shoulders gently, "If you don't mind me asking . . . what are your feelings anyway?"

"I . . ." Yukito turned in his seat slightly, and looked up, Tomodachi stared down at him, a gently, encouraging smile floating on his lips. Yukito blinked, Tomodachi had very jade eyes, he'd noticed before, but they were so very green, and . . . he felt Yue smile inside; the dark haired boy's eyes were very handsome as well. The curled strands of Tomodachi's hair swayed gently in the night's cool breeze. "I . . ."

Tomodachi winked, "You keep saying that . . ."

"I know but I . . ." Yukito blinked as he felt a surge of Yue's annoyance, "I'm no one's pet!" Thin eyebrows shot up in surprise over slightly amused jade eyes, Yukito quickly followed, "And I don't think this is an appropriate conversation." Yukito stumbled up from the seat, not liking the way Yue's anger was turning, nor the way Tomodachi was speaking, "I think I should return home now . . ."

"That's another thing you keep repeating . . ." Tomodachi smiled, "Let me walk you part the way . . .?"

Yukito frowned slightly, and was going to refuse when . . .

"Certainly."

Yuki blinked and growled at Yue as the angel pushed him back, and linked arms with Tomodachi.

Eriol sat on the edge of his bed and stared at the occupant. Tomoyo slept lightly, her pale neck exposed, her dark hair spilling over his white pillow. He shook his head and stood, he was going to sleep in with Spinel in his room . . . he stepped out into the dark corridor, //As soon as Yue returned.//

An hour had past and the angel hadn't returned, Sakura had fallen asleep, and Touya had carried her to the guests' corridor, to sleep in Syaoran's arms. Touya was so worried about Yue, he cared only that his sister was safe and comfortable. Eriol smiled as Touya stepped out suddenly. The taller boy raised an eyebrow, silently questioning. Eriol shook his head, silently answering.

"Still no sign of him?"

The pair turned, Keroberos sat on the floor behind them. "No . . ." Eriol shook his head, "Keroberos?"

The lion nodded.

"Who was this first angel?"

". . . I better get a lifetime's worth of pudding for this . . ." Keroberos sighed and padded along the corridor. "If I have to say his name, it'll take that much to wash the disgust out of my mouth." He nodded; starting to walk past them, "Let's go somewhere comfortable . . ."

"His name was Hei-ying . . . you named him for your favourite uncle . . ."

Eriol lay on his side on the couch and stared at the fire with Touya, who sat in the large favourite chair of Clow's, Kero sat with his back to the warm fire, as he told his story.

"I always hated that name . . ." Kero muttered as he looked down, "He was a bastard, I hated him . . . you and Yue never came close to loathing him as much as I did. Yue simply because he was too young, you because you always believed Hei-ying was simply *misguided*, by some old spell you tried to use on him. You called it the Obedience Spell, and you only gave it to Hei-ying, never to me and Yue. I believe you replaced the spell with the Yin-Yang Effect, to make Yue and I loyal more to each other than you. Hei-ying was loyal, and loyal only to you." He sighed and looked up, "He was the star guardian, and was created ten years before I and Yue were created, you never spoke much about this gap, but Yue always showed me the few samples of your writings he could find from the period. I think you were in some kind of depression."

"Mister Hilligans . . ." Eriol sighed, "I remember him, he died around then . . ."

"Correction . . . that's what Clow's selective memory tells you, *Hei-ying* murdered him." Kero growled, "He did it because . . ." The lion closed one eye as he tried to remember what Clow had said, "Because Hei-ying thought Hilligans wanted to stop you from being with him."

Touya sighed, "What happened between his creation and yours?"

"I don't know."

Eriol sighed, "Clow never told you?"

"Never . . ." Kero glanced at the clock, five in the morning. "Clow hated talking about the past . . . and much as I hated that habit, I beginning to understand . . . we cannot allow Yue to continue to remember Hei-ying . . ."

"Why not?"

Sakura stepped in, her tiredness setting a deep frown in her young face; she looked years older than normal. She gathered her long pink cloak about her, and her voice cracked with the grogginess of disturbed sleep, her eyes were saddened and dully as she repeated herself, "Hmmm? Why not?"

"Clow made a decision long ago rather than force Yue to remember everything, he would allow Yue to block out the memories . . ." Kero shook his head, dipping it once in respect to his Mistress, and twice in an effort to keep the old emotions at bay, "That is why Yue is the way he is now."

"What does that mean?" Syaoran stood beside Sakura, his hand resting on her waist, either supporting her, supporting himself, or possibly support for the both of them. He guided her in and they sat by Keroberos, Sakura leaned forward and grabbed Kero's face, "Tell me now. The truth, all of it, this guardian you call Hei-ying, what is different about Yue now to what you remember, and why Clow Reed is so ashamed of it."

"Hei-ying was the first guardian; I don't know what happened between the ten years of our creations." Kero yawned tiredly, "When I was born, he was barely on the right side of sanity, Yue's creation tipped him over the edge. He didn't understand, after having Clow to himself for so long, that Clow could bear to share his love with others. Hei-ying tried to kill me once, by drowning me in a pond . . . he failed, but Clow didn't release that Hei-ying was the one that tried to drown me."

Sakura blinked, "Why didn't you tell Clow?"

"I'll give Hei-ying one thing . . ." Keroberos snorted with sarcastic mirth, his voice dripped with derisive warmth, "he had the gift to persuade you what you once held to be true, was not so . . . I trusted Clow, and for some reason, I trusted everything Hei-ying said, he was a very influential older brother." The lion lay down and remembered, "He told me that Clow had asked him to do it, and I believed him . . . he said that I was too different from Clow and him, and that Clow was beginning to regret my creation. I started to try to be as quiet as Hei-ying, but that seemed to make things worse, Clow started to fall into one of those damned depressions of his again."

Sakura glanced at Touya, his eyes were closed, as was Eriol's, they were both taking in everything. "Then what happened?"

"Yue was born." Kero smiled, "He was much slower to develop than Hei-ying and I . . . and Clow really didn't understand it either, but . . ." Kero smiled even more, "His childhood is one of my sweetest memories, his laughter, his very being was a gift." The tears from earlier began to return, and Kero laughed, "He was always so happy, I know it's hard to see in him now . . . even after two or three months he was still a tiny baby but we didn't care because he was---"

"Our little moonbeam . . ." Touya murmured, he sat forward slightly, "It's coming back . . ."

"Clow can't fight it anymore . . . the gaps, even the parts where his memory is selective . . . it's becoming clear . . ." Eriol kept his eyes closed, "Hei-ying . . . was my lover during those ten years . . . once you were created, Keroberos . . ."

"You stopped, you . . ." Understanding started to occur to Kero, ". . . pushed him away and concentrated on me, which is why he tried to kill me . . ." Keroberos frowned as he remembered something Hei-ying had once asked him, "He wanted your full attention back . . ."

Touya's eyes snapped open, "Keroberos . . . Yue has a right to know now . . ."

"To know what, Clow?" Kero growled slightly, "That you were in love with the first angel . . . that you rejected his love because you already got it from someone else?"

"That's not true!" Touya stood, and paced to the window, "I just want Yue to know the truth now . . ."

"Really?! Since when?!" Sakura jumped slightly, as Kero got to his feet, his calm instantly dissipating, "You made the decision to let him slide into this, you cannot take it back!"

Touya sighed sharply; "I want him to know why!"

"Why what?" The lion spat harshly.

"Why I couldn't touch him . . ." Touya stared out the window, and muttered quietly, "Why I couldn't truely love him the way I wanted to . . ."

Kero's eyes narrowed, "you can't . . . you told us that any love we felt for you was the same that any creation felt for his creator . . . and you told Yue that it was the same way for creators . . ." Keroberos paused, his anger tainted his voice, cold sarcasm dripped off every word, "No, you did better than that . . . you told him that any love he felt was no better than a domestic animal!"

Touya's head snapped up at this, "I never said---!"

"That's what you lead him to believe, Damnit Clow!" Keroberos slapped the floor with his paw, "You spent years, decades convincing him of that . . . I won't let you ruin what he has now!"

"What?! What does he have now?!" Touya/Clow started to get desperately angry at this, "Hmmm? Tell me!"

"He has Touya!" Keroberos roared, "And a Mistress that tries to be his friend not a Master!"

The words might have as well have been a slap.

Clow fell silent, and his shock showed in Eriol's face as well as Touya's. Syaoran showed no other emotion other than flicking his eyes from Eriol to Touya, trying to gauge their reactions; Sakura clapped a hand over her mouth, she felt Keroberos had crossed a line. Both Eriol and Touya were staring at him as if betrayed. Keroberos looked away, "I'm sorry . . ." He whispered, "I'm still so angry at you . . . Yue has Touya, he has a lover who would never . . ." He looked up and trailed off, "That's something that's not my business, but I . . . I *know* Yue deserved so much better than you cheerfully telling him on his birthday of all days that you were going to die . . ."

"You think I was happy about that?" Eriol sat up, his young face etched in frustration. "You really think I enjoyed telling my most precious creations that I had to leave them?" His voice seemed to constrict with complete sorrow, "All this time you have thought this?"

". . . You sounded it."

"That doesn't mean a damned thing, I was only told that morning!" Both Touya and Eriol started to get really upset, Touya hid his emotions and stared out the window, Eriol was the one doing all the talking now, "Do you have any idea how much I bawled my eyes out that morning?! I had to leave you that day! No warning, nothing, I couldn't prepare you, I wasn't even allowed to prepare myself!"

"You spent most of that day locked in your study! You could have spent that time with Yue and consoling him!" Keroberos growled, "We sat on the roof, in the freezing snow, him sobbing into my shoulder because he loved you so much!"

"I had to prepare for the future!"

"That's what you've always done!" Kero roared, old anger beginning to build, "You were so wrapped up in the future that you couldn't see with your own eyes how dangerous Hei-ying was becoming!"

Yukito felt barely aware of himself as Yue chatted animatedly, he had never been this way with Yue, never been pushed back. //Is this how you feel Yue . . .?// Yukito said weakly, overwhelmed by Yue's forced awareness, // When I am in control and you watch my life through my eyes?//

Tomodachi smiled as he walked slowly with Yukito, he could tell Yue was the one in control. His mission was going well, he reflected, and soon, Yue would be his once more. "Do you have any siblings?"

Yue smiled slightly, as he allowed Tomodachi to link his arm with his false form's, it was unusual but Tomodachi, in this dark moment of his life, was very appealing to him, Yue felt he could talk and talk to this man and try to forget about this true nature of his being. Tomodachi's strong moon laced aura, combined with the revelations of the night, were very luring, very comfortable, very . . . "I have one, although his is my older brother . . ."

"Really? Tell me about him . . ."

"He's . . ." Yue giggled slightly and lent on Tomodachi's arm a little more, "Very fat, from eating too much pudding . . ."

"Is he mean to you?"

"Never!"

Tomodachi barked a laugh, and pulled Yukito along, "Are you well . . .? You seem a little drunk . . ."

Yue straightened instantly, "I'm fine."

Tomodachi smiled, "It's all right, half moons do that to me as well . . ." He lent towards his walking companion, and whispered wickedly, "I do love a good Yue . . ." Yue squeaked, and giggled. Tomodachi wrapped his hand around his waist to stabilise him, "I should get you home . . . back home to your little Master . . ."

"I am no one's pet!" Yue frowned; he was getting more than thick headed with Tomodachi's closeness. "I am my own person."

"Of course you are, until you step inside that door and they start to question you as to where you were! What were you doing? Who were you talking to?"

"They wouldn't!" Yue looked up, Eriol's house looming slightly, it looks so unbalanced without the three most upper floors. He tilted his head to Tomodachi, "It's . . . very late, I have to . . ."

Tomodachi wrapped his arms around the snow rabbit's waist, "I shall see you soon?"

Yue smiled and wrapped his arms around the dark haired boy's neck, "I . . ." Yukito kicked, and struggled, bring Yue back to his senses. He stepped back, careful to maintain Yuki's usual facial expressions, "I've got to go . . ."

"Sure thing . . ." Tomodachi turned and started to walk away, "But Yukito . . .?"

Yukito stared at him, "Hai?"

Tomodachi tilted his head back, once again staring into the night sky, "Be wary . . . not everyone is, as they seem . . . not every belief you held to be true is so . . ."

Yukito blinked in surprise as Tomodachi walked away.

------------------------------

And Now It's Time To Leave It To Doctor Megalomania!!!

Clow: These last two chapters are nothing but one huge giant info dump aren't there?

DrM: Pretty much so . . . [Looks appealingly to readers] I mean come on, when they start to beat the crap out of each other you don't want any huge chunk of info, do you?

Clow: I still say you should put a health warning on these info dumps!!

DrM: Well, that's just you, Mister 'I'm Preparing For The Future!!'

Clow: What? I was . . . I wasn't playing Tertris at all!! It was your imagination! [Looks around quickly] By the way, I beat you all time high score!!

DrM: CURSES!!!!

Clow: [Gulps and runs off, with DrM running after him with a giant frying pan] PLEASE R&R!! HURRY!! ARRRRGGGGHHH!! DrM! STOP IT!! ARRRRGGGGGHHH!