Why, Hello and welcome to my little world of weirdness!

I state for the record that, while I really, really wish I did, I don't own any of the wonderful characters that will grace this story . . . they are all CLAMP's, always have been, always will be! However I do lay claim to a few of the original characters, for example . . . I own Hei-ying, and his false form, Tomodachi Yukito, I own Mystrasa Kyree, and Carolyn and Amanda Reed, I don't own The Dragon, Saurian because he is on loan from my very good friend, the ever intangible Blue Goo.

In This Tainted Soul . . . There Lies Hope . . .

By Dr Megalomania

[Parts of this chapter has been written by my ever intangible Bluegoo, I worship at her feet for spotting something which I haven't had a chance to elaborate on]

Part Thirteen: My Heart Betrayed

"Stop it . . ." Sakura started to shake her head, "STOP IT! She glanced at Keroberos, who nodded at her, and sat. She looked at her brother; he still faced away from them, staring out the window. Eriol stared at Keroberos, his anger and utter heartbreak causing him to tremble. He stared at Kero until he stood and paced over to his former life's creation. Kero stared at him evenly. Eriol looked . . . lost for words. His mouth moved a few times, before he settled for sinking to his knees in front of the guardian. "When Yue was being bullied . . . neither you nor Hei-ying would tell me . . . why didn't you come to me?"

"Because I knew that Hei-ying would be given time enough to kill Yue." Kero blinked, his answer painfully simple, ". . . I couldn't risk it . . ."

Eriol nodded, he tapped his little finger and looked at Sakura and Syaoran, "When Yue was younger . . . When I allowed both Keroberos and Hei-ying teach him his lesson . . . Yue came to my study one day with a broken finger . . ." He glanced at Kero, "Hei-ying did that?" Kero nodded, "*Why*?!"

Kero smiled ruefully, "Why do you think Yue can recite his incantations word for word from the very words Clow wrote six centuries ago, and I can only remember the ones I really need to know . . . and the others I make up as I go along?" He snorted quietly, "Hei-ying did love to see *perfection* in everything you touched!"

There was a quiet sob from the window, Sakura looked up in time to see her brother slide his hand over his mouth, she looked at Eriol who managed to retain his expression, "The hair . . ." He glanced at Sakura to explain, "Hei-ying would cut Yue's hair nearly everyday because it grew so quickly--"

Kero snorted again, "That's what Hei-ying *told* you . . ." He laughed mockingly, "He cut it to stop Yue from looking any more like him . . ." The lion looked down and snorted to himself, "I'd hate to think what kind of reaction Hei-ying would have now if he saw him . . ." He looked up at Sakura and Syaoran, "Yue looks exactly like him now . . ."

Yukito soon lost consciousness as Yue transformed. The angel strode down the corridor, his problems were not quite sorted out yet, but he felt more clear headed. His thoughts turned briefly to the warning Tomodachi had issued, "What did he mean? Not everyone is, as they seems . . ." Yue murmured as he walked towards the study, "What can this mean?"

Sakura frowned, as Syaoran stood, the little wolf sighed and rubbed his eyes. He walked around a bit, "Let me get this straight . . . Hei-ying was Yue's . . .?"

"Prototype."

"And Clow's lover . . ." Syaoran nodded as he moved to the table, cold tea still in the pot. He poured some for himself, and sipped at it, it's cold bitterness waking him again, "So Hei-ying had the power of the stars and he was intended as the *what* to the Cardcaptor?

"The adviser of the . . ." Kero trailed off and blinked, "That's how he got the cards . . . Hei-ying . . . was the adviser of the cards, he was the one who was taught every little trick of each card, how to over come it, how to capture it . . ."

Eriol tipped his head back, and whispered, "Oh . . . no . . ."

Sakura felt sick to her stomach, "You mean this rejected guardian is holding my cards . . .? Why? Why would he want them?"

Touya pushed away from the glass, "He was never powerful enough to capture them himself! He must have outside help!" He turned away from the window and snarled, "Someone must have released him, because I know my father would *never* unleash him, and Eriol?"

"Never!" Eriol sat up, "But how?"

Kero cocked his head, "Don't you have the book you sealed him in anymore?"

"When I say I have Clow's library," Eriol looked at him, "I meant I have every book that I could find again, every book that wasn't destroyed, every book that wasn't given to the Li clan . . . every book that wasn't stolen . . . Hei-ying was . . ."

"Stolen . . ." Touya muttered, "And probably sold, though why anyone would desire a book that couldn't be opened . . ."

"Restore the balance to the way it was . . . the new order . . ." Sakura started to brainstorm quickly, "Do any of these phrases have any sort of meaning to either of you?"

Eriol glanced at her, "Ancient spells . . . Cast mostly by the most greedy of magicians . . ."

"What do you mean?"

"When Clow Reed was alive, the magic world was dying." Eriol stood, "In fact, Clow Reed was supposed to save it . . ." He chuckled mirthlessly, "That old Peter Pan thing with the clapping and the 'I do believe in faeries' isn't far from the truth . . . magic must be believed in order to exist . . ." He sighed, "With the magic world dying, many magicians tried to cast spells over their reincarnations, making sure each reincarnation would live longer and longer, and would try to make the magic world live again." He stared into the fire, "But it wasn't unheard of for a reincarnation to go against the will of the first life . . . so some magicians would try to restore the balance . . . try to come back, live again, and kill the reincarnation's soul to inhabit the body themselves . . ."

"Is it possible that Clow Reed---?"

"NO!" Eriol spun to look at her, "Clow divided everything in two . . . there are only two reincarnations, myself and your father, now that is down to one . . ."

"Could that upset any balance?"

"No . . ." Touya paced over to the chair, and sat, "The balance wouldn't be disturbed by that . . ." He looked up and stared at Sakura intently, "It must be something else . . ."

Yue blinked, he'd never heard about this 'Hei-ying' . . . the name sounded uncomfortably familiar, he knew it had something to do with the Li's, that one of Clow's favourite uncles were named that, but somehow he felt that wasn't the 'Hei-ying' Keroberos was referring to.

"Do you remember everything now?" Keroberos asked of Eriol and Touya, "Maybe there was something that happened during the time you took him as your lover, some sort of power transfer that made Hei-ying a little more powerful over myself and Yue?"

There was a silence before Sakura turned the questioning a different way, "Maybe something happened during his sealing? Why did you seal him?"

Yue tried not to gasp, Clow had never allowed Yue to love him . . . However, this 'Hei-ying' had been, he was barely concentrating as he listened to Touya, //However . . . this 'Hei-ying' had been . . .//

"He, um, he became too unstable for me to handle, and I began to hate him . . ." Touya hung his head, and Eriol continued the account with a hushed shamed voice, "I used him, and when Keroberos and Yue were created I stopped using him . . . thinking that he would stop loving me as easily as I had him . . ."

"But he didn't . . ." Keroberos finished for him, "Which is why, when you started to pay so much attention to Yue, he tried to get you attention back."

"Hai . . ." Eriol stared at him thoughtfully, "You never turned against me and Yue was created to be just like him . . . why did he--?"

Keroberos shook his head slowly, "Maybe because it was him . . . he was a sick bastard and *everything* he touched became corrupted . . . besides, I gave you my solemn promise . . . I'd never allow anything to harm Yue."

Yue put his hands over his mouth, feeling suddenly very sick . . . if he was just like this 'Hei-ying' guardian, did this mean that one day he would cause history to repeat itself, and make Touya hate him . . . Yue didn't know if he could take this much longer . . .

Eriol eyed Keroberos for a few seconds, "If you hadn't . . . never swore this, would you?"

"Would I have ever harmed Yue?" Eriol nodded slowly, Keroberos glanced at Sakura, then back at Eriol, "It hurt . . . I'll admit that, when suddenly after Yue's creation, your entire attention focused solely on him . . . and I'll admit, there was a *brief* second when Hei-ying once asked me to join with him, when I thought it *might* be a good idea, it would be *nice* to claim back some of your attention for myself . . ."

Yue's eyes narrowed as he stepped silently away from the door, "So . . . not everyone is, as they seem . . ." He spun on his foot and returned to the guest room.

He sat in front of the dresser's mirror and stared at himself, he wondered what Hei-ying looked like, exactly like him? Did he have the same hair?

//Yes.//

Yue blinked as he heard his own mind answer the questions; did he have the same eyes? //Yes// The same colours? //No.// Black? //Hair . . .// Green? //Jade, he preferred to call it *jade* . . .// Did he sound like me? //No . . . Now you are like him, just like him . . . and one day you'll *be* just like him . . .//

Yue picked up a sheet of paper, and started to draw . . . not controlling his hand, he started with an eye, and broadened out into a face, one he'd never known, but had always known. It was him.

It was Hei-ying.

Even though the picture was merely a line drawing, not a speck of colour in it at all, Yue's mind began to fill it in, in Yue's mind the simple black lines and white paper seemed to burst into colour. Confident jade green eyes stared out from the page, a tight shiny black plait of hair fell from behind one ear; and on the other side, the rest of his immensely long hair was gathered and tied into a single tight twist. He was impeccable. Neat, tidy, the vision of perfection. He reminded Yue of Clow, with his black hair and even gaze.

It was Hei-ying.

Yue's hand began to feel itchy; he looked at the palm intensely, rubbing it hard to make the strange feeling go. He stared at his hand in incredibility as a jade glow started to appear. The glow faded as it deposited a white plait in his hand. Yue blinked as he stared at the strange piece of hair, it was tied with a neat piece of jade cloth. He wasn't thinking as he glanced from the severed plait to the picture, and was thinking even less as he lifted the plait and placed it against his scalp, just behind the ear the long plait falling over his shoulder.

There was a quiet fizzle as the plait welded itself to his head.

Yue tugged at it, it wouldn't break off. It was sealed there . . .

He looked into the mirror and gasped quietly, his mind stopped playing with the colours . . . the white plait wasn't white anymore . . . it was whip-thin, black . . . And looked just like Hei-ying's . . .

Hei-ying flew through the window effortlessly, and closed it just as silently; he dragged a hand through his shiny black hair before walking down the corridor towards his Mistress' study. The night had been so hard . . . soul wearing for him in a way he had never felt. He stepped down the corridor, like a shadow made solid, hair swinging behind him.

He felt as though he were walking through a maze, lost, having lost his way, his direction, his purpose . . . That visit had taken more out of him than the simple use of magic to transform into his false form should have done, and he was so tired . . . he never remembered feeling so tired. The night and stars were his element and his power, and usually revitalised him.

Now it was an effort not to stumble, and the dark walls of this cold place hazed in time with his steps. Each pace, though, was even and sure, he didn't want Saurian and Mystrasa to think him weak. Especially that Bastard, his Mistress's Sun guardian, it was natural that its yin magic would repel his yang.

No. Saurian was not . . . not his yang, or his yin . . .

For a few moments, Hei-ying felt his body twist away from the Mistress' study. He hadn't done what the Mistress had told him to, not exactly, not the blind obedience he should have given her, and doubtless they waited inside for him. He frowned and started to walk to the study once more.

He slowed to a stop as he thought about Yue, the way his body had swayed towards him as they walked together, //I want him now . . .// Hei-ying blinked as the feeling grew intense, not willing to admit the truth, Hei-ying reminded himself of his sworn promises, He wanted . . . he wanted to hurt him . . . Sink his fingers into the pale flesh, draw blood . . . as he Sunk deeper, he wanted to hold him and murmur that it would be over soon . . .

He wanted to . . .

He wanted . . .

//Yue.//

Hei-ying spat and clutched his head with his hands, momentarily revealing his scarred eye-socket. Then the moment was gone, wiped away as his blank expression returned. He understood this effect. Mystrasa had warned him of it, with macabre enjoyment.

//This hunger . . .// she had told him, thin fingers playing over his spine //The hunger that makes serpents devour themselves . . .// and laughed as he had frozen, knowing his inner thoughts revealed to her.

//You've got it . . .// Mocking and cold, // . . . Haven't you?//

That was it, a destroying hunger and repulsion at once.

//The Syndrome . . . not the Effect . . . the Yin-Yang Syndrome . . .//

It was pulling his unstable being apart. For a moment it seemed the shadowy figure would turn and walk away, but then Hei-ying stood straighter and breathed deeply.

//It's the only way . . . The only cure Yue . . . The only cure for me . . .//

He would not fail. He would be strong. This tiredness would pass, like the fleeting half-remembered phrases of a poem falling through his mind. //Little Sunbeam . . . Little Moonbeam . . . May there always be . . .// Like the uncomfortable feeling, like the cold sting of regret he carried with him always . . .

It would fade . . .

//Beyond faith . . . Chance . . . All else . . .//

. . . A child's voice, a girl, pretty and small . . .

//. . . There lies hope . . .//

. . . He was resolute.

// . . . This yearning . . .//

Hei-ying took a moment to collect himself, compose his manifestation once again, before stepping through to the Mistress' study.

Mystrasa Kyree was at ramrod straight in her copy of Clow Reed's favourite chair, her staff was loosely grasped in one hand, and her eyes fixated on her deep purple magic circle. The Cardcaptor's actions . . . her discussions . . . Mystrasa was watching them. Saurian was lounging on the floor, wrapped around his Mistress' chair in his middle form, a large cat-sized dragon. He was chewing absently on a rotting bone, and licked his lips, "And the child reincarnation's concubine . . . and the butterfly girl . . ." He chuckled deeply, "How I'd love to sink my teeth into them . . ."

Mystrasa didn't answer, didn't even make any motion indicating she had heard him or acknowledged Hei-ying's silent entry. He glanced at her hand, feeling the cards' fading anger at him. There was still enough of their spirit untamed by the Mistress' control collars for them to send him every prick of hatred, and anger they still held for him. He sighed and drew closer. Saurian hissed quietly, "Oh, and that Clow Sun guardian . . . Keroberos . . . he looks like he has some meat on him . . ." Saurian closed his dark red eyes and sighed, he happily thought about the things he could do to them before he would feast on them. "Unless of course our little Moonbeam hasn't given the game away."

Hei-ying's eye rolled towards him, "I told you to stop calling me that . . ."

Saurian raised himself, "What could you do to stop me?" He hissed darkly as he leant closer, "You should be more careful . . . and what is this about 'Not everyone is as they seem'? . . . what the hell is that?"

Mystrasa chuckled deeply.

Saurian growled, "That wasn't what you were supposed to say!"

"I felt . . ." Hei-ying address his Mistress, the dragon could be dealt with later, "I felt that his false form wasn't taking to my story . . . I thought a change of tactics was needed . . ."

Mystrasa Kyree nodded slowly.

Hei-ying glanced into the pool; the card Mistress was leaning heavily into the embrace of the Li clan head. Saurian growled, "She is taking comfort from him . . . Mistress let me . . . let me break them now!" He jerked his head in Hei-ying's direction, "He's trying to warn them Mistress, let me break them now and let's be done with this Clow guardian reject."

Hei-ying's jade eye twitched slightly, otherwise he showed no emotion. Mystrasa lifted her hand to pet Saurian's head, "Your enthusiasm is quite admirable . . ." She smirked, "And you are right . . ."

Saurian purred and cracked an eye open to look at Hei-ying.

". . . About the Li clan head . . . we need to break him . . . get him away from the card Mistress . . . she draws too much comfort from him . . ."

"What shall we do?" Saurian hissed, "Shall we drown him like we did the first reincarnation . . . or perhaps pay a little visit as we did to that Moon priestess . . ."

Mystrasa leered, "No . . . Our little clan head recently sent a letter, a reply to someone in China . . ." She smiled as she raised her hand over the magic circle. It warped and changed, to show a typically Chinese garden. A girl with black hair smiled as she tended to some lotus plants with love and care.

"As I recall . . ." Kyree smiled as she watched the girl, "The Li clan have very strict traditions about the death of a close family member . . . It's damned near law that no matter wherever you are in the world you *must* attend the funeral . . ."

The girl smiled as she patted the soil down hard, her red eyes sparkling with warmth.

"Find her . . ." Mystrasa murmured, "And kill her . . ."

Hei-ying closed his eye and was about to answer, 'Yes, Mistress' when Mystrasa spoke again.

". . . Saurian."

Hei-ying's jade eye snapped open as his Mistress gave the order to Saurian, "Find her . . ." Mystrasa lounged back in her chair and drawled her deadly order lazily, "Rip out her throat . . . her spleen, her stomach, her heart . . . no, rip out her *heart* first, and show it to her, draw screams from her . . ." Hei-ying closed his eye, she knew that he didn't want to know what Saurian was going to do to her, ". . . Screams of pain, of *fear* . . . show her no mercy . . . and then . . ." Mystrasa started to laugh, ." . . leave her to bleed to death . . ."

Saurian threw back his head and laughed heartily, "I didn't know my birthday had come early . . . what about the rest of his family?"

"Leave them be." Mystrasa snapped quietly, ". . . they will have to deal with all that blood, won't they? . . . And not to mention . . ." She held her hand out and a letter appeared in a flash, "If you make a bloodbath out of everyone there . . . there will be no one left to read this . . ."

Hei-ying stared at the girl. "What is her name?"

"Meilin . . ." Mystrasa smiled, "Li Meilin . . ." She turned to Saurian as he transformed into his smaller form, "Take from her, a single lock of hair . . . take it before you kill her . . . before you spill blood on it . . ."

"Mistress . . ." Saurian smirked, "I'm sure little Moonbeam there would far rather have---"

"Do it!" Mystrasa growled, she sank into her chair, "Now go, get out of my sight . . . I want her dead now!"

Saurian smirked one last time at Hei-ying before spreading his dark brown wings and swooping out the window. Hei-ying stared at the window, and then soundlessly watched the young girl in the pool. He closed his last remaining eye.

"Li . . . Meilin . . ."

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And Now It's Time For Leave It To Doctor Megalomania!!!

DrM: Well, then . . . things are about to---

Meilin: [angrily barges in] I *better* not DIE in the next chapter!! You *better* not KILL me off, like you did that Kaho woman!!

DrM: [presses hand over heart] Oh, Meilin . . . my darling little Meilin . . . [Hurt] would I do something like that to you?

Meilin: [Softens] Well . . . I guess not . . .

DrM: [Grins]

Meilin: [Growling] why are you grinning?!

DrM: [Still grinning] I suffer from the same Mental Disorder as Eriol . . . I can't help it my face is like this naturally . . .

Meilin: As long as I don't kick the bucket . . . [Doesn't notice Saurian making cut-throat motions behind her back] And I just know, the readers agree with me . . . [Turns to readers] You want me to kick Saurian's ugly butt all the way back to England, don'tcha?

Saurian: [Blinks, and then turns the readers] No, you don't!! You want me to KILL Meilin don't you? [Nods enthusiastically] See . . . I see D.I. Angel, and French-Fille already grinning for me!!

DrM: [folds arms] I don't know why you're arguing . . . the next chapter has already decided who gets the butt-whuping, and let's just say, it's a pivotal moment . . . one side is gonna start winning! But --- [presses finger against computer screen] You won't find out unless you R&R!! Please!!