Why, Hello and welcome to my little world of weirdness!

I state for the record that, while I really, really wish I did, I don't own any of the wonderful characters that will grace this story . . . they are all CLAMP's, always have been, always will be! However I do lay claim to a few of the original characters, for example . . . I own Hei-ying, and his false form, Tomodachi Yukito, I own Mystrasa Kyree, and Carolyn and Amanda Reed, I don't own The Dragon, Saurian because he is on loan from my very good friend, the ever intangible Blue Goo.

In This Tainted Soul . . . There Lies Hope . . .

By Dr Megalomania

Part Fifteen: Falling apart

He grunted twice, came, and rolled off her.

He sighed as he moved to the edge of the bed, and placed his feet on the cool wooden floor. Breathed slowly as he dragged a hand through his sleek black hair, a deep chuckle from behind him caused alternative ripples of arousal and repulsion in his tight stomach. Hei-ying growled and smothered both emotions. "Why Saurian?"

Kyree giggled, a disturbing sound, something so childlike from someone so malevolent, she rolled on to her stomach, her loose corkscrewed hair spilling over her pale back like ink, and over her shoulders her small shoulders. Her ashen skin sickly white against the deep violet of the mussed sheets.

"Why not Saurian?" She snorted coldly, "What could be the difference? You would both kill that girl."

Hei-ying frowned and turned to face her, "He'll make a mess of it, leave some sort of clue . . ."

"I know."

"Then why?!" He felt his temper flare unchecked, his more irrational unstable side ignite at her clear non-answers. "I would do the job just as easily, but faster, cleaner and shar—"

"I want you."

He fell silent at her sudden change of subject. She stared at him hard, her eagle like eyes darting over his features, a sly smile spreading over her passion-swollen lips. Kyree pushed herself on to an elbow and drawled lovingly, "I love you."

Hei-ying groaned quietly, his anger fading as his arousal grew once again. "Clow . . ."

"I've always loved you . . ." Her amusement faintly coloured her soft drawl, "You've got such a power over me . . . I can hardly resist . . ."

He tensed, feeling old rules constricting in his mind, "I hold no power over my Master . . ." He looked away tiredly and started to chant, "You are the Master Clow Reed . . . every action you do . . . every word you say . . ." Hei-ying felt his heart constrict and worked hard not to let his throat follow, ". . . is ultimately true and right . . ." He opened his jade eye and stared at her, "And I must obey . . ."

Mystrasa shivered visibly as he recited his Spell, she pressed her head back, laughed deeply and stared at the canopy, again!

Hei-ying growled to himself, anger at her request, and hatred of his arousal for her. He climbed over her, felt her legs tighten around him as he dipped into her. He rammed her as hard as he could as he spat each word again.

"You are the Master Clow Reed . . ."

The Hiirawagizawa Mansion was silent.

Yue remained locked away, still refusing to come out; Eriol shook his head as he past Keroberos and Spinel in the hallway. Spinel was draped over Keroberos' back haunches, and both were still sleeping. He paused outside Sakura's room, and peered in, Sakura was hugging her knees, and Tomoyo was unpicking her sewing again. Her hands were shaking so much. Eriol frowned and stepped in. Sakura barely raised her head, knowing there was no news; Tomoyo didn't look up as he knelt in front of her. "Tomoyo . . ."

"No matter what I do . . . I just keep making the same mistake . . ." She growled quietly, failing miserably as she tried to sound as light and happy as usual. She started to sew again rapidly, and her hands began to shake again. Tomoyo cried out in pain as she stabbed her finger. She picked up her sewing and shook it slightly. "Shit!"

Sakura raised her head, "Tomoyo-chan . . . Are you okay?"

"No, I'm not okay!" Tomoyo stood and shook her head sharply, instantly regretting her harsh words, "I'm sorry, Sakura-chan . . . I'm so sorry . . ."

Eriol tipped his head, and stood slowly, he pulled Tomoyo out of the room, "We'll be back soon, Sakura . . ."

Sakura nodded numbly and curled up on the bed, her mind only on what was happening in the downstairs study. Syaoran had been on the phone to his family for the last hour now.

Eriol pulled Tomoyo to his bedroom, and locked the door. He turned to face her as she paced back and forth restlessly, "I've never seen you swear . . . Especially in front of Sakura . . ."

She paused and shook her head at him, "It's spreading . . . to Li-kun's family . . . How much longer before it attacks Sakura-chan directly . . ."

"It's made that attempt alrea—"

"No!" Tomoyo spun and walked towards him, "It tested us . . . Poked at us to see which side of us is weakest!!"

Eriol blinked at her, his mind taking this in. "Why?"

"Because whoever it is can't get to Sakura-chan directly, can't just face her . . . She's too strong for them right now . . . And so they're slowly chipping away at her defences!!"

Eriol grabbed her and pulled her close, "Calm down . . . Please, this isn't the Tomoyo I love . . ."

Tomoyo froze in his arms.

She pulled away from him and stared into his face, "What did you just say?"

He stared back at her, his expression blank for a few seconds before . . .

". . . A-and know . . ." He tilted his head gently, and looked at her checking her response, "I've never known you to be so angry about something . . ." He slipped his arms off her and walked away, "Admittedly . . ." He murmured as he sank on to his bed, "I can't stand the idea either . . ."

Tomoyo stood still for a bit, thinking, before she turned and knelt in front of him. She stared at the hard wood floor as she explained her anger. "I just . . . I just want it to be anyone but Li-kun's mother . . ." She sniffed, "Anyone but her . . . I know that's a horrid thing but I . . . Sakura-chan doesn't realise it but she's our only ally in the Li clan . . . the only one that wants Li-kun to be with Sakura-chan and if she's dead . . ."

"Why do you want Sakura-chan to be with Syaoran?"

Tomoyo looked up at him, revealing sorry eyes to him, she smiled tearfully, "Because I cannot make Sakura-chan happy . . . and Syaoran does . . . so I . . . I just want her to be happy and her happiness means more to me . . ."

Eriol nodded, and lifted his hand to stroke her head gently. As she dipped her head again, he slid off the bed and knelt beside her, wrapping his arms about her small frame, wishing there was something he could do, anything, to take away her pain.

Hei-ying stepped out of his Mistress' room, and slid the door shut quietly. He returned to his room quietly and as speedily as he could, desperate to return to his only abode of stability. The dark winged angel curled up on his bed, and clutched his head, digging perfect fingernails into his skull, begging the old confusion to stop.

"Someone . . . please . . ."

". . . Help me . . ."

Yue lay in his bed, curled up and clutching his head. Digging his fingernails into his head, feeling the queasiness rise gorge in his throat again. He closed his eyes, as the voices in his mind got louder again, //He was my lover . . . I can't love you Yue, not like that, you are my creation . . . hateful bastard . . .// He winced and drew a quick breath. //If you hadn't sworn this to me . . . it would be nice to claim back some of your attention for myself . . . I don't want you near him . . . he hates Yue so much he wanted to hide him behind that beautiful Yukito, that ever gentle snow rabbit . . . thy love shalt be thy disgrace . . . the new order shalt be once again . . .//

Yue's eyes snapped open, order . . . that's what his mind craved . . . the calm and order of . . .

". . . Yue . . ."

Hei-ying's jade eye snapped open, the park . . . he felt ordered there, perhaps . . .

. . . Tomodachi would be there, Yue got up and started to dress again. He could trust no one in this house anymore, no one . . . not even Keroberos. His elder brother had lied to him, Clow had lied to them . . . they never loved him as much as they claimed, they only did what they did out of necessity, because Yue was the judgement maker never because they had . . .

. . . loved him, Hei-ying choked as he felt this realisation hit him. Hei-ying loved Yue, hated Yue . . . he clutched his head again and groaned out loud, "What's happening to me?! I want him . . . I want him *dead* . . . it's the only way!" He rolled out of bed and stormed over to his dresser, he looked around the table and growled as he searched desperately for his scissors. "Where are they?!" He yelled, losing his temper completely, his scissors were a gift from the man he loved. He screamed and yelled as he started to trash the desk, "Where are they?!"

He didn't notice a dark figure in the doorway; pale hands gloves twirled the shiny pair of scissors over and over.

 "Now . . . No matter what he says, no matter what he does, keep away from him . . . I don't think he's . . ."

Hei-ying stared into the mirror as he heard his younger brother's warning ring out again, his hands gripped the edge of the desk tightly, as he stared at his own image in the glass. "I'm not . . ." He whispered, trying to deny his younger brother.

Glinting black eyes stared at him harder; the hands stilled, and then slipped the scissors into a pocket. The dark figure smiled a sinister sneer, as she turned and walked away silently, her spell forcing the memory to rise up in his mind, Keroberos' voice could still be heard clearly echoing in both their minds. Kyree's control strengthening again.

". . . I don't think Hei-ying's . . . I don't think he is . . ."

Hei-ying felt tears roll from his eye, he closed it and shook his head, "I'm not!"

The black eyes slid shut as the dark figure began to laugh quietly, as she paced further away slowly. Hei-ying's wild protests echoing for real.

". . . *Sane* . . . anymore. . ."

"WHERE ARE THEY?!"

Sakura got up. She blinked and gently wiped the tears from her eye. //Syaoran-kun . . .//

She stepped down the stairs and soon found herself outside Eriol's study. Syaoran had been locked in there for the last hour now. She drew a breath, and steadied herself. Whether he liked it or not she was going in. she raised her hand to knock.

The door swung open before her knuckles could touch it.

Syaoran stared at her, his eyes dry, his expression blank. Sakura gulped, swallowed, and blinked at him. He didn't look upset at all. He started to raise an eyebrow. "Is breakfast ready then?"

Sakura frowned, "No way, Syaoran-kun."

Both eyebrows shot up in mild surprise, "I'm not getting breakfast then?"

Her emerald eyes narrowed, "Oh no . . . I won't let you . . ."

The little wolf's head tilted to the side as Sakura pushed past him. She growled as she paced around the room, "I won't let you just bury this under that cool mask of yours!"

"There's nothing to talk about . . ." He walked over to the desk calmly and picked up a piece of paper, "My mother says she felt Clow Reed's magic . . . not his magic aura per se, but a creation of his . . . perhaps that Hei-ying creature has attacked my family." He sighed, "In any case . . . My mother has ordered me to stay here, to protect you."

Sakura frowned, "Eriol mentioned that the Li's have strict traditions . . . Protocols about attacks on the family . . . He said that you might be ordered back to China to protect them . . ."

"Normally, I would return to China, particularly to attend a Li funeral but this time I cannot." He glanced at the paper, "It was a dying wish that I remain and protect you."

"Whose?"

He stared at her, his throat working slightly. He turned away and wrote on a slip of paper quickly, and walked away to the window. Sakura glanced at his receding figure, before stepping forward and lifting the paper to read.

Li Meilin.

Sakura felt her head swim. Her knees couldn't support her and she sank to the ground. Her throat closed, pulling so tight she couldn't breath. //Meilin-chan. . .// the paper crumpled in her hands and she started to tremble violent. First her father . . . her cards . . . the Reeds . . . and now Meilin . . . A small sob sounded, a whimper pushed itself out of her. She felt . . . she felt . . .

"Mei . . . lin . . . chan . . ." She cried, her voice getting louder, "Meil-lin-chan! MEEEIII-LIIIN-CHAAAANNN!!!"

Eriol paused on the stairs as Sakura's voice rang out, his arms instantly rushing to Tomoyo as her breath rushed out of her.

Ruby closed her eyes and bowed her head. Her hand paling as she griped the table top for support.

Touya shook his head slowly, and turned away. The pain in his sister's voice too much to hear.

Spinel looked up, and shook Keroberos. The lion looked at him quizzically before his jaw dropped open. "Oh no . . ." He closed his eyes, "Not that girl . . . oh Clow . . . what have you done . . .?"

Sakura opened her eyes again, and sniffed, "Meilin-chan . . ." She groaned, "Oh Meilin-chan . . ." She clenched her fist, and looked at Syaoran, "You . . ." She shook her head quickly, and pulled herself to her full height. "You . . ." She drew a stabilising breath, "You must return for her funeral, I'll be fine. I won't let Meilin-chan's memory be--"

Two swift steps and Syaoran was face to face with her.

"I will not allow Mei-rin's last wish be ignored."

"Her funeral . . ." Sakura shook her head, "Please . . ."

He stared down at another sheet of paper, "It's a trap . . ." He read, "Auntie, it's a trap for Xiao Lang, tell him to stay . . . stay with Sakura . . . it's a tra---"

Sakura shut her eyes as Syaoran cut off quickly; he closed his eyes, "Not another word spoken. Her last wish stays." Sakura moaned quietly as Syaoran turned and walked to the window again, "Her last wish stays."

Kyree opened the window and let her tired Sun guardian flutter through. He growled, as he landed heavily, "It's done . . ." he growled, "The girl is dead."

"I know . . ." Mystrasa smirked as she turned from the window, her gown billowing with the wind. She scratched the dragon's chin gently, "You must be hungry . . ."

He grunted deeply, "To say the least . . . that little bitch didn't scream for me . . . put me right off eating her . . ."

Kyree chuckled as she walked over to Saurian's muchly unused bed. "I thought you might have a bit of an appetite, so I did a little shopping for you . . ." She pulled the mouldy blanket off the quivering human girl. She looked to be sixteen at the most, her deep chocolate hair was mussed, and her deep brown eyes wide as she struggled weakly from her bonds. Despite the gag, the girl began to scream as the dragon advanced on her. "Oh Mistress . . . You shouldn't have . . ."

"Enjoy your meal . . . and conserve your strength, you'll need it soon . . . " Kyree smiled as she slide the door shut, a quiet chuckle issued from her lips, "Poor Terada . . . I'm sure he'll miss his dear little wife terribly . . ."

Everyone stood as Syaoran and Sakura entered. The breakfast table set, and everyone but Yue and Yukito were stood around. Eriol stared at Syaoran, "When must you leave?"

Syaoran looked at Sakura, "I'm not."

Ruby glanced at Eriol, then back at the little wolf, "But the funeral . . .?"

"Will go ahead without me . . ." Syaoran pulled out a seat and motioned Sakura to sit. She looked stunned, and a decade older than she was. She held up her hand and grasped Syaoran's tightly as he sat. Touya exchanged a look with Eriol, before speaking, "Why?"

Syaoran pulled out a piece of paper, and started to read, "It's a trap . . ." He murmured, not really needing the paper to remind him of words he knew by heart, "Auntie, it's a trap for Xiao Lang, tell him to stay . . . stay with Sakura . . . it's a tra---"

There was a moment's silence as he looked at each of them.

"So we are confirmed . . . whoever our enemy is has intimate knowledge of us . . ." Spinel shook his head, "First the Reeds, and now they are starting on the Li's."

"Not exactly." Syaoran said quietly, "Mei-rin was killed to get me to go to China. Whoever is doing this wants us to break up," he glanced at Sakura, "They want Sakura alone."

"It's Tomodachi." Ruby slammed her fist on the table, "It's him!" She leant forward, "He's being trying to put a wedge between Touya and Moony!"

Touya held up his hand, "We can't---"

"We can!" She hissed, "Is it any surprise that when he appears that Yue starts to act funny?!"

Eriol shook his head, "If this Tomodachi is truly responsible for this, why haven't we felt his power . . .?" Ruby growled as she sat back, incapable of answering, "Precisely." He continued, "We can't feel *enough* power from him to be capable of this . . ."

Syaoran squeezed Sakura's hand, his only outwardly sign of grief, "There's more . . ."

Tomoyo sipped her tea, her hands trembling slightly. "What is it?"

"They left a letter . . ." He stared directly at Eriol. "Clow's symbol on the back, and handwriting on the front . . . To live again, one more time . . ."

Eriol blinked, "What does that mean?" He felt all eyes turn on him, "I don't know what that means . . . there is *no* one in this world that can draw the Clow sign except myself, Touya, and my creations . . . It's impossible because the ability to draw it in utter perfection is *only* handed down through Clow's soul!"

Silence befell the table again.

The words hanging in the air.

To live again, one more time . . .

Yue checked his robes again, perfection the order of the day. He brushed his fringe back, his hair tied tighter today than normal, //not a hair out of place// he frowned, that black plait was still stubbornly in place. He'd tucked it into the main bulk of his hair, hence the tighter ties. Yue breathed in, hoping his face didn't display a single line of worry and stepped down the stairs, wondering where everyone was.

"What are we going to do?" Ruby sat forward again, "Huh? What can we do? What are our options?"

Eriol slouched back in his chair and stared at Sakura, she looked so despondent it was hard to imagine she'd ever smile again, "I'm so sorry to do this to you . . ." Sakura looked up as he continued, "To let you see such a horrible mistake . . ."

She frowned and stood, she walked around the table and stared at each of them, "No . . . we can't let them get to us like this . . ." Syaoran met her eyes and despite himself smiled slightly, Sakura The Undefeatable was coming back, "No!" She called, "Meilin-chan will not have been murdered, and then I roll over and hand over my cards!" She walked over to Eriol and looked at him, "Don't apologise, everyone makes mistakes . . . it just happens that way . . ."

"I know, I've never had to face it . . . this I know. I've never wanted to face this." Eriol shook his head, "It was a horrible period of Clow's life, and just like him; I would rather forget it."

"Well now, you can't . . ." Eriol turned to face his descendant, Syaoran had been particularly angry when they had informed the group downstairs; he was disappointed with Clow for forgetting such an important facet of magic. Balance. "That's not an option anymore! Whatever is stalking us is becoming bigger than we can handle . . . we must fight it now . . ."

"I just wish there is someway we could keep Yue out of it . . ." Keroberos sighed and looked down into his tea, "I can't take another shift . . ."

Sakura frowned in confusion, "What shift?"

Keroberos looked at her, "When Hei-ying tried to kill Yue, Yue was left so traumatised by it he tried to block it all out . . . when that happened, there was some sort of shift . . . destroying Yue, and creating Yue/Yukito as we know him now . . ." He sighed again and stared at Eriol, "I don't know about you but I . . . I can't take the prospect of Yue having another major shift in personality."

"Neither can I, Keroberos . . ." Touya murmured, "Neither can I . . ."

Tomoyo sighed, "So Yue is unstable after all?"

Yue paused outside the door, as Tomoyo's voice echoed down the corridor. Eriol could be heard sighing, and answering, "To some extent . . . he's not aware of his slight mental disorder . . ."

"Slight?!" Keroberos growled louder, "Yue is the product of whatever that bastard instilled in him; Yukito is all I have left of my beautiful little brother!!" Yue's face hardened, as Keroberos continued, "There were times when Yue would slip back into his old ways, and since our release from the book, those times have been increasing slightly. Sure, it's just the odd smile, or maybe the odd chuckle, but for me . . . that's enough to hope. Maybe . . . just maybe he'd come back, go back together . . . Yuki could stop denying Yue's presence and just be himself again . . ." The lion paused, and mumbled, "I can't take another shift, I won't let this happen again . . . I'm not going to lose him again!"

"Not going to lose whom, Keroberos?" Kero turned, and found Yue standing in the doorway, gazing down on them. He stepped in silently, taking his place by Touya, and looked at each of them. "Who is it you are so afraid of losing?"

"No one . . ." Keroberos smiled weakly, "How are you feeling today?"

"I'm . . ." Yue stared at him, ". . . sick."

Sakura ran around the table, "Of what?" She said in concern. Yue glared at her coldly, and then his cold gaze slipped on to Keroberos.

"I'm sick of you," He trembled with a deep rage, "I'm sick of you *lying* to me!"

Keroberos' face fell, "You heard us . . ."

Yue's eyes narrowed slightly as he stood, "I don't need your protection, I don't *want* your protection. Consider yourself free of your oath to Clow."

Keroberos was quiet as he murmured; "I'll always stand by it . . . even if . . ."

"I don't *want* it!" Yue snapped, slamming his hands down on the table, "I don't *need* you! I don't need *anything* from you!" He glanced at Eriol, who had started to stand.

"Yue . . ."

"Keep away from me! I don't want you to even *touch* me!" Yue stepped back, "You told me my love was nothing more than a pet's! Well, fine then! I don't need you either." He looked at Sakura, his cool eyes narrowing even more, "And Keroberos . . .? If you want the *Mistress'* attention so much, you're welcome to it."

He turned and walked away, leaving Sakura staring after him in horror. She swallowed and started to run after him, "Yue!"

The Moon guardian paused inside the adjoining-kitchen, and stared at his Mistress as she ran towards him. Keroberos stared at him in horror as he waited until the last second to slammed the kitchen door shut with his telekinesis, Sakura screamed as the door made painful contact with her face. Syaoran ran to her and gathered her up in his arms, "Sakura! Are you all right?"

Ruby and Spinel jumped up and ran after Yue, forcing the door open. They found him pacing the kitchen restlessly, "You can't do that!" Ruby screamed at him, "What's come over you?!"

Yue's eyes narrowed as he glared at her, he was silent as he approached her, "You were never a mistake . . ." He murmured quietly. "Never a *mistake*, you were *meant* to be . . ."

"That doesn't mean you break your Mistress' nose!" Ruby was very angry, "What's wrong with you?! Have you lost your min—"

Ruby's tirade was cut short as Yue slapped her, hard. So hard that she fell to the floor.

"Shut up." He snapped, "I'm sick of you too!"

Yue slammed open the door and stormed out, he stepped over Sakura, brushed past Touya, who couldn't even lift his head to look at him.

--------------------------------

And Now It's Time To Leave It To -----

DrM and Clow: [Raise arms and waves them about, screaming] ARRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!

Hei-ying, Kyree and Saurian: YES!!! [High fives, and cheering] We're winning, we're winning!! [Clap] They're losing, they're losing!! [Clap] We're winning, we're winning!!

DrM and Clow: [Raise arms and waves them about, screaming] ARRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!

Hei-ying, Kyree and Saurian: [cheering] We're winning, we're winning!! [Clap] They're losing, they're losing!! [Clap] We're winning, we're winning!!

Yue: [rubs temples] Please stop the madness . . . Readers and Read-ettes . . . please R&R!!