Disclaimers as before.
This is a much shorter chapter than the others. Just preparing the groundwork.
Thanks Starlight for your review.
Chapter 7
Eleni stood at the entrance, waving goodbye, watching Hagrid usher everyone to the train station. It had rained chaos all morning as students packed up the last of their belongings, handed in late assignments and made frantic last goodbyes.
Ron had asked her again if she wanted to join he and Harry for Christmas but Eleni sadly declined the offer. Not that she wouldn't have minded going and being amongst a large, gregarious family. She imagined a long table, everyone jammed pack around it, eating and laughing and ducking Fred and George's ongoing pranks.
However Professor McGonagall liked to remind her every chance she got, of the hours she had spent drawing up the extensive timetable of tutorials. Eleni didn't think she had the courage to announce that she had made a sudden change of plans and wasn't remaining behind over Christmas. Professor McGonagall would probably whip out her wand and cast some terrible spell as punishment.
Instead Eleni watched the last student disappear in the mist, their footsteps dying away and meandered back to the Gryffindor common room. Oh well, she rationalised sadly. At least the Christmas break would give her a further chance to catch up. The dreamless sleep potion had worked wonders, giving her renewed energy and she had been a flurry of activity the last week, almost spending as much time in the library as Hermoine.
'Pickled onions,' she said to the fat lady, who opened the porthole and let her into the common room.
Only a few of the first years and sixth years had remained behind and most of them were crowded around the fire talking and playing chess. She didn't really know them well enough to butt in and no one asked her to join in, so Eleni went up to her room and sat on the bed.
Tutorials weren't to begin till the following day but after an hour of staring into space, she decided to find Professor Snape and get her daily vial.
It was the last time he was giving her the dreamless sleep potion. He had reminded her the previous day with an almost gleeful look, that the new one was ready and that she had one more night to go.
Eleni felt morose and down about changing potions. It wasn't going to be fun having memories gnawing at her all night like a ravenous dog, even if they were gradual and at a distance. It was silly she thought, going off the dreamless potion when it was working so well. But that was Professor Snape for you. He probably missed seeing her look like a mess.
She just couldn't make him out. He was so enigmatic. In his class that week, he had been especially brutal with her, his eyes on her like an eagle while she worked on her potion, sarcastic if she dared make a mistake, never hesitate to deduct a swagger of points.
Yet when she returned later in the day for the dreamless potion, his eyes were neutral having lost their glare and unpleasantness and he'd briefly inquire how she was sleeping and if she was feeling better. It didn't make sense she thought. Like he had to go out of his way to cover any kindness with cruelty.
The door to his classroom was half open, yet Eleni didn't dare walk in. She knocked lightly on the door and waited.
'Yes,' he began in an annoyed voice. 'Oh it's you Miss Devon,' he said when she slunk in tentatively. 'Come in.'
'I hope I'm not disturbing you,' she said, 'I've just came for my dreamless potion.'
He put down his quill and looked at her. 'Yes of course. Have you remembered that tomorrow I begin you on the new one.'
'No, I haven't forgotten,' she shrugged.
'Any changes with your sleep pattern?'
'Well I suppose,' she sighed reluctantly. 'My sleep hasn't been as restful and sometimes I get flashes of things but I can't make it out, it's all blurred.' He was right about the memories coming during the day if they were blocked at night she thought. The flashes of whatever it was supposed to be had certainly been disconcerting.
'Mmm,' he said tapping his finger on the desk, almost as if he had forgotten she was there, 'it's as I expected.'
'Professor Snape,' began Eleni, 'what I don't understand is…'
But with a flick of his hand, he waved the question away before it had even fully formulated in her head.
'Don't bother asking,' he said, 'because I am not going to tell you.'
'So you do know about my past,' she said.
Snape didn't answer immediately. Instead he shifted the pile of books on his desk to one side and then began to clean his quill. She waited in silence not daring to interrupt.
Eventually he raised his head and looked at her.
'Miss Devon or I should say Eleni,' he said, startling her, with his almost gentle tone, 'you place me in a difficult position. Professor Dumbledore believes that it's better you remember in your own time. Hence the new potion, which will ease the memories back.'
Eleni strained forward listening, balancing on the balls of her feet. 'So Professor Dumbledore knows about my past too? I suppose everyone does except me.'
'No,' he said, 'not everyone. Now is that all?'
Her stomach gave a sudden lurch, as a question crystallized in her mind.
'Was it my fault they died?' she asked.
Snape visibly flinched at the question. It was understandable he thought, but the girl was like a ferret, she didn't give up.
'Who are you talking about?' he asked slowly.
'My parents,' she said. 'In my dream I am calling out to my mother and someone's laughing and telling me she's dead. I think that it's my father that is also struck down and killed. But the thing is that when I wake up I know that it's my fault, that I caused their deaths. Although I don't even know for certain it's them, I haven't seen their faces but I know that I'm calling out for my mother and please Professor Snape, I must know if it's my fault.'
The room sank into a troubled silence. The only sound was the hint of a draught moving through the dungeons, licking at her legs.
Eleni shook herself out of an almost trancelike state. She was horrified at what she had just done. Fancy confiding in Snape and telling him something that she wouldn't dare tell anyone else. The most unapproachable teacher at Hogwarts.
Yet Eleni guessed that out of everyone at Hogwarts, he wouldn't be too quick to judge her, after all he had a dark past too.
She looked at him, hardly daring to breathe, somewhat surprised that he hadn't as yet made some sort of disparaging comment.
'What else can you remember?' he asked quietly, his voice breaking into the silence like a knife.
'Screams,' she said. 'Awful high pitch screaming. People begging for their lives and these reptile faced things, who are yelling "crucio" and laughing. And then something ripping against my chest and throwing me against the wall but I don't know what.'
Snape leaned forward. 'At any point do you recognize them?'
'No.'
'What about your surroundings? Do you know where you are?'
'No sir, I don't.'
'I see,' he said, withdrawing back, becoming as still as a tree in an ancient forest.
'Professor Snape,' Eleni eventually said, when he showed no sign of moving.
His gaze shifted and moved to her eyes. 'Whatever you remember,' he said, 'whatever you are told by others, remember that none of it was your fault. And at this time, I can tell you no more, so no more questions.'
'I suppose,' she said, 'I should take the potion and go.'
'Yes,' he said, taking out the vial of blue liquid and placing it on the desk in front of him.
Eleni moved tentatively to the desk and picked up the vial, letting its coolness permeate through her hand, while becoming aware that a curious tension had risen between them.
'Then I'll see you tomorrow for this tutorial that Professor McGonagall has organised,' he said with what looked like a half sneer and almost a half smile.
'Yes,' she said. 'I'll see you tomorrow.'
Only when she left did Snape allow himself to take a deep breath. He had been tempted to tell all. She had looked so fragile, so lost and confused. How much worse could it get, after all she had guessed correctly about her parents.
Perhaps he thought, another talk with Professor Dumbledore was needed.