A Dream of Reality: Chapter One

Premonitions

A/N: I wrote this about two years ago and it's still saved on my computer, so…here it is. The writing is kind of iffy since I wrote it way back then, but I'm too lazy to go back and change it. ^_^ It's a good beginning, I suppose, for that one idea I had so long ago…I'll finish writing it if I get reviews! Thanks.

Disclaimer: The locations and story of Final Fantasy VIII and all characters are copyrighted to Squaresoft and Hironobu Sakaguchi.

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A young girl stood leaning against the balcony in the "secret" after hours meeting place, in Balamb Garden. She smiled prettily despite what was going on inside her heart as she imagined that night when she had first laid eyes upon that handsome stranger…the one whose voice sounded as music when he spoke—which was rarely ever. He was such a taciturn young man, and she had no idea why she was so swept away by him and his two left feet while dancing that night.

"Rinoa." She jumped, then, recognizing that the voice belonged to the one she had just been thinking of, she turned around to face him.

"Oh, Squall, you scared me. I thought you were in the dormitories, just like the others…"

"I…couldn't sleep," he admitted with a slight look of innocence written on his face. She smiled at that. "I don't know what came over me—but I just had this…premonition to come here, and when I did…"

"You found me."

Her gaze followed him as he walked over stiffly, then leaned against the balcony and rested his head on one arm. Something about him seemed different…though she couldn't quite tell what—just something in his posture. A long moment of silence passed, as Rinoa continued to gaze at him, trying to understand why he was acting differently. Squall turned his head swiftly, realizing she was staring at him, and gave her a questioning look…though she noticed he was blushing furiously in the dark.

"What…?"

"Nothing, sorry. So…since we're here, and alone—"

He raised an eyebrow at her. "…Rinoa, what are you—"

"No, no! I just meant…do you want to talk about things? So much has happened after…well, after that entire ordeal…"

"Whatever."

"Squall, I'm serious. I've been feeling like…like you're hiding something from me. It's only been a few days—but during them I've felt cut off from you, somehow. Like you're trying to distance yourself from me…I just want to know something: is it just my imagination, or is there really something on your mind? Squall…I really want you to talk to me…for once."

"Distancing myself from you? It's just your imagination." As he said those last words, he felt a sudden cry of pain in his heart; he felt like if he was going to keep it inside him any longer, he would explode from all the pain he was causing himself.

At that, Rinoa looked away, hiding the hurt in her eyes. She knew something was going on—and it hurt her even more that he wouldn't say.

Squall saw her reaction and raised a hand to her shoulder, but let it drop after a moment of hesitation. Why was he always like this? He never knew what to say at the right times. Hurting Rinoa like this made him feel like the worst person in the world. It was true, after such a long time he realized he was unable to live without her—but this time he just couldn't bring himself to tell her anything. I'm sorry, Rinoa. You've always been so good to me—even when I was such a jerk to you…I can't believe someone like you would actually see something in me.

"Squall…you're thinking again, aren't you?" Rinoa noticed the usual frown on his face, but this time there was a look of confusion behind his expression.

"…I'm thinking of how much I suddenly feel very tired," he said, trying to hide the turmoil in his emotions by sounding irritated, "get some sleep…you're probably going to need it tomorrow." He walked slowly over the bridge, and, just before disappearing around the corner, he stole one last glance at Rinoa, but her back was turned toward him.

* * *

Squall awoke with a start to a sudden knocking on his dormitory door. He reached up, ran his fingers through his hair, and realized he was sweating. He knew he'd had that same dream…the one he had been having for the past few weeks. But there was no time to think about that—whoever was knocking sounded like they needed to get to him urgently.

"Squall, Squall! Are you awake in there?!" Quistis' voice rang out.

Sighing, Squall roused himself out of bed, threw on his coat and opened the door, blinking furiously as his eyes accustomed to the bright morning light. "What is it?"

"Something's up—are you fully awake? We need you down at the bridge, pronto!"

"Not again," he mumbled under his breath as he followed Quistis down the hall.

When they reached the bridge, he found everyone except Rinoa waiting for him there. "What is it?" he asked, in a more urgent tone, realizing from all their panic-stricken faces the urgency of the situation.

Irvine was the first to break the silence. "It's Rinoa, Squall…I was going to check up on her this morning just to see how she was feeling, and I couldn't find her anywhere! I don't know…I say we get to the Ragnarok immediately and sort this out—though I have no idea where she's disappeared off to."

Squall's brow furrowed as he struggled to take in everything he had just heard. "Wait a second—what do you mean, 'checking up on her to see how she was feeling'?" He glared at Irvine suspiciously.

Irvine's eyes darted to the others for help, but they all shrugged and kept their silence. "Listen, Squall…Rinoa was, well—upset last night. We were all playing Triple Triad in the infirmary, and she just appeared suddenly. To put it bluntly, she was, well, crying."

Squall's gaze softened a little and they all noticed his blue eyes wavering. Oh god, what have I done to her? I thought it would all be okay this morning…but now she's gone.

"Squall, I'm sure whatever you're thinking of is important—but don't you think we ought to try to find her? I mean, for all we know, she could be in major trouble!" Selphie said.

"But where could she have gone?" Zell asked.

"Home…" Squall murmured to himself.

"Timber!" Selphie exclaimed, running for the door. "Come on, everyone, we're going to find Rinoa, and I'm driving!"

* * *

For the entire trip to Timber, Squall sat morosely, thinking of what Rinoa could have been so upset by. Was it something I said? It's probably because she feels like we're growing apart—and she knows I'm hiding something from her. But it's got to be something more serious than that…or she wouldn't have run off like that. I know her, she wouldn't do something careless like running away in the middle of the night unless she really was being bothered by something. ……Or do I know her? She just ran off in the middle of the night…so I guess I don't know her as well as I thought I did.

At that, he felt his heart in his throat, wishing he could hear Rinoa tell him cheerfully that everything was all right. I'm always wishing to be with her, but only when she's not around. Is it just that I'm ungrateful that she's here? I know I love her… but I've never told her that. Does she already know, or is it because of that that she ran away? She must not think she's wanted here…just because of how I ignored her last night. Why was I being so stupid? All she wanted was for me to hold her in my arms and tell her there's nothing that I would ever hide from her.

He fought back the tears that were threatening to pour from his eyes as Irvine's voice rang out over the intercomm. "We've reached Timber…prepare for one of Selphie's shaky landings."

"Oh, why don't you shut up, Irvinny—" Selphie's voice was cut off as the Ragnarok landed on the ground with a thud.

When they reached Timber, Squall began to feel dread creeping up on him. "If she went, then she surely must have had a reason to get away from us. She might not want to see us again," he said, trying subconsciously to back out of his situation.

"What are you talking about? The only reason why she left is because she felt hurt by you—and if you don't do something about it before it's too late, Ifrit knows what will happen to you two!" Zell said bluntly, pushing him forwards into the town.

"Squall, don't try to back out of it—we're already in way too deep, and if I was the one who was upset…sure, I'd want to have someone come and comfort me." Quistis said, looking sternly at Squall.

"…And what if you are the reason they went away…because they hate you now. They wouldn't want to see you ever again." Squall said sulkily.

"Stop it, you're being pessimistic now! Besides, you have no idea what's going on in Rinoa's head right now…and she already knows you found out that she's gone…every second wasted while we stand here is a precious long time to Rinoa. Your relationship could be on the brink of ending, man, so get a hold of yourself!" Zell pushed Squall further along the road.

When they reached the house where the plump woman, the leader of the Forest Owls, lived, Selphie knocked timidly on the door. The surprised face that appeared in the doorway was Zone's.

"Oh, it's you guys. What are you doing here?" He didn't sound too enthusiastic.

"Squall, go ahead and explain." Quistis pushed him forward.

He hesitated for a moment, then began, "Zone…is Rinoa here?" At the look on Zone's face, Squall continued hastily, "I don't believe she's in any major trouble…I think she's just—well, she needed a break from us and we couldn't find her this morning. Has she showed up here?"

"No…but if she does, I'll make sure to tell her that it was good of her to get away. Really, getting caught up in all this sorceress business is too much for our little princess. It's all your fault, you know, " he said, raising an eyebrow at Squall. "If it weren't for you, she wouldn't have left us to dwindle back here—and I'll bet she finally realized that you're all taking advantage of her, so she left. Good for her."

Squall looked even more desperate at that. "Listen, I didn't do anything to hurt her—I just…" he stopped as Zone shut the door in his face.

"So much for that. I guess she's not in Timber, huh?" Irvine said, "I wonder where she is?"

"Not to make you feel any worse, Squall, but maybe Zone's right. Maybe she's had enough and she just had to get away…but I'm sure she'll come back when she's ready! I mean, it's obvious she cares for you so much…it shows whenever she just so much as looks at you. I remember the time when I told her I'd get your ring for her…she was blushing so much and had this kinda dreamy look in her eyes."

"So what are you trying to tell me?! That Rinoa left because I hurt her so terribly?" Squall began desperately.

"No, Squall. Keep to your senses…I'm getting a bad feeling here. We don't know where she is…and she's probably lost, too. That puts her at a disadvantage—an easy target, for whoever's out there. We've got to keep looking for her, and we'd better find her, fast." Quistis warned.

Oh god, Quistis is right. She's in trouble…and it's all my fault. Because I had to keep it from her—I should have told her… A shadow crossed over Squall's face. It's happening…oh god, Rinoa, I should never have let you go! Now you're really in trouble…just like in my dream.

I'm sorry, Rinoa…

Squall felt a lump rising in his throat and tears burned in his eyes. The others were staring at him, astonished to find him on the verge of tears, but he ignored them.

"Isn't he…overreacting, just a bit?" Selphie whispered to Irvine, but she was silenced by three angry glares.

Squall buried his face in his hands. Let them stare. Rinoa could be gone forever, and I don't know where to find her. I'll never hold her in my arms again.

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