A Matter of Mistakes
Chapter One: The Start of Chaos
It was a normal day in the Konan palace. The sun was shining over the land, the birds were singing… so beautiful.
'LEKKA SHINEN!'
Yes, well, it did start out as a normal day…
Oh. We have Mitsukake running after Tasuki, who's just flamed Tamahome. For the 368th time. I suppose Mitsukake got tired of healing Tamahome. And all the Suzaku seishi are coming out too…
Sansele?
Yeah?
Just narrate.
Fine, whatever… Nuriko looked as if he wanted to help in whacking Tasuki, Chichiri was trying to keep everyone sane, but as Chiriko said, 'When Mitsukake-sama goes nuts, the world is in serious danger.' Which later went into the history books, or so it is said. The three of them were frantically chasing the two, but as Tasuki's seishi power is speed, all had a slight problem. As for Mitsukake… refer to aforementioned Chiriko quote.
Back at the palace, Miaka was comforting the fatally wounded Tamahome.
'Oh, Tamahome! Don't die, please, I could never live without you…'
'For you, Miaka, I would undergo anything, anything…'
'Tamahome…'
'Miaka…'
'Tamahome…'
'Miaka…'
We'll leave the lovebirds to their… interesting… conversation… You see, Tasuki, having just come back from Mt. Reikaku after a few days, was really hungry. Of course, he still ate neater than Miaka, but he was really unhappy when she snatched for the last bun. He loved her, but certain things happen when you get a bandit really pissed. Yeah. So… huh? We're going to have a flashback? Chiriko, spare us, please…
~~~~~
'LEKKA SHINEN!'
Miaka stared motionless at the flame rushing at her. How could you, Tasuki, how could you… she bit her lip and turned away, knowing that she could never move in time to dodge it…
Then, suddenly, someone pushed her away. She turned just in time to see Tamahome burnt by the fire… meant for her… 'TAMAHOME!!!'
~~~~~
Miaka brushed away tears. Then she saw, through her tear-filled eyes, the last bun. And of course she thought: FOOOOOOOOOD~! But in her haste, she knocked over Chichiri's chair. His kasa, which he had hung on the back of it, fell to the ground. Miaka hurriedly picked it up, but didn't notice a small bottle which rolled out of it… Typical Miaka… And I have just been told by the Suzaku seishi to not diss her. How do they stand her?
Finally, the Suzaku seishi returned. Mitsukake had a field day scaring Tasuki, and decided to heal Tamahome. When all the seishi were happy and all, dinner was served. Most of them had spent five hours running round Konan, you see. Just before the seishi got to the dinner table, Miaka rushed there, nearly slipping on a small round object. Looking down, she realised that there was a little bottle there, with what looked like… salt in it. Quickly, she seasoned the food with it, hoping that it would taste so much the better. But of course, to Miaka, anything would taste great… no; I have no desire to be burnt… I can't stop dissing Miaka though…
All was well, until the seishi and miko decided to go to bed. Then suddenly, there was a great fuss, and many cries of 'ITAI!' '#@*$!' 'OW!' All the Suzaku seishi and miko were rolling on the floor in great pain. This would have been a great moment for the Seiryuu to pop in and invade Konan, but they were scheduled to appear later, rather than now. Or maybe they just didn't know. Yes, it is possible. Half a minute after the first twinges of pain…
'Is everyone okay now, no… oh, no…'
'Chichiri, how come your voice is higher?'
'Miaka, how come your voice is lower?'
Pause.
'AHHHHHHHHHH!'
'Hotohori-sama, I'm a girl now! Everything's okay, right?'
'Nuriko… I was also affected…'
'NOOOO!'
'Hey, %@*#$, I'm a woman!'
'Is this a Kutou spell, Chichiri-san?' (A/n: Nakago would like to comment that he would never do anything so stupid. Maybe not. But Tomo would.)
Then an idea came to Chichiri's mind. 'Oh no… please don't let it be…' He searched through his kasa frantically, then turned to face the others. 'Did anyone see a small tube of white powder?'
There was silence. Then Miaka quavered (as far as she could in a deep voice), 'I…thought it was salt…'
'All right. Then just what was that powder, Chichiri?' Hotohori was trying to take control of the situation, and not freak out that he was a girl. Not bad. Can see why he is the emperor.
'Taiitsu-kun gave me that, no da. Some of us were supposed to sneak into Kutou and plant it in the Seiryuu seishi's food, no da. It gives the victim a gender change…'
'For how long?' Tasuki interrupted quickly.
Chichiri, for once, showed a slightly uncertain expression. 'Uh, no da… Actually, there is no cure for it yet…'
Pause.
'NOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!'
The ending credits start playing.
But first, screen stop; then rewind a little bit.
You guys forgot the narrator's comments.
'#@*$, do we really have to go through this?'
Yes, Tasuki, and by the way, did I tell you how stunning you look now?
'*#@^….'
Don't curse; it's unbecoming of a girl.
'I hate women…'
Doesn't that mean you should like Miaka now?
'NO!'
Tamahome and Miaka… looks like you have a little problem now…
Sounds of sniffling and crying are emitted.
Poor Nuriko, the time that he has a chance, it's taken away.
'Come here, Miaka…'
'What… Nuriko, stop looking so murderous…'
'WHY DIDN'T YOU GIVE ME THE POWDER FIRST?'
'Tamahome, tasukete… oh no…'
'Sansele, why are you sniggering?'
Don't ask. Hotohori, I hope that you can still rule the country.
'Of course, but now… I am so utterly beautiful…'
… Ooh, I've never seen Chichiri actually even look like a girl before…
'Don't rub it in, no da. Taiitsu-kun will kill me…'
Don't worry. If she does, some interesting things will happen. Did I mention you look really cute as a chibi?
'Sniff, sniff…'
Damn, gomen, gomen… Mitsukake, glad to see you really do look like a girl.
'At the very least…'
Chiriko, what say you?
'It's an interesting phenomenon. I must research on it.'
Hope you can find a cure quickly…
Ending credits finally get to play…