Disclaimer: Don't own Fushigi Yuugi, na no da…

Chapter Two: What the #@&$#?!

  Well, so we return to the scene. Or rather, two hours later. Nuriko had succeeded in making Miaka look like more like a guy… it helped that the spell was designed so that the girls would look like bishounen, or vice versa. Houki had been called from the harem, and after promising not to reveal what had happened, got clothes for all the seishi. So now we see… oh no…

  'THAT'S IT, YOU STUPID MORON! YOU CHANGE BACK INTO A GIRL NOW, OR WE KILL YOU!' Tasuki, do not threaten Chichiri. No, I don't care if he's changed back into a guy. You're going to flame me? Nuriko's going to punch me? Err… okay, do whatever you want…

  And now we see that Chichiri has hastily changed back.

  'The other seishi are very scary, no da!'

  Um, quite. Probably the fact that they're… not exactly okay at the moment, you know. But now that all the seishi and their miko are properly attired, Hotohori has taken charge of things.

  'How are we going to reveal… that we have…'

  'Let's try a nice, simple approach. Pretend that we were girls all along.'

  'No, it ain't going to &@$# work. Remember Hotohori? And our voices…'

  'Oh, gomen, forgot about that…'

  'Okay, no da, the basic problem we have at the present moment is that we can't even act like girls, no da.'

  'Or guys.'

  'Miaka-san, it will be harder for you, because we have Nuriko to help us, while you…'

  'How about I help you, Miaka?'

  'Oh, Tamahome, that would be wonderful. Arigato!'

  And all of us wince.

  'What's wrong?'

  Nothing, Miaka, it's just that it's a bit weird… because you're a bishounen now… I think you should go with Tamahome now.

  'Okay…'

   Hotohori steps forward. 'And let us not forget the Seiryuu seishi…'

   'Wait… what will happen to Yui-chan?'

  Pause.

  'Oh shit…'

  Guys? And girls?

  'Yeah?'

  I'm going to switch over to the Seiryuu side for a while, see what they're doing there. And no, I won't tell them about your little problem. Chichiri, how about you go to Taiitsu-kun and ask her what to do? I don't know how the Konan people are going to take their seishi changing into girls, you know…

  'Um, okay, no da. I'll go now.'

  Wonderful, so now we have a little scene change. And all is not well in the state of Kutou. Tsk, tsk. Or it really depends on how you see it…

  What do we see here? Looks like Nakago has cooked up a plan for dealing with Konan and the Suzaku no Shichiseishi… (Cue scary music)…

  'So Suboshi and Amiboshi will strike here, Soi and Tomo will fight here, and Ashitare and Miboshi will cause a distraction. Meanwhile, I will go into the palace and find the Suzaku no Miko. Any questions?'

  Nakago looked up from his map, only to find most of his seishi… looking politely blank. Only Soi and Tomo were paying attention to him. Well, at least he knew Soi was, but Tomo on the other hand… had a rather lovesick look on his face, as far as Nakago could see through the face-paint. 'Lovely, the rest of them are all brain-dead. Why Seiryuu chose them to be his seishi, nobody knows,' the shogun thought in sarcasm. Oh wait…

  Nakago?

  What is it?

  I don't want to anger you, it's just that…

  What?

  You're insulting Amiboshi & Suboshi as well, and that means…

  Fangirls?

  Unfortunately so. I don't exactly know what's going to happen if angry fangirls come pouring into the fic…

  I see. In that case, I'll try to cut down on insulting them.

  Great, any effort is worth some recognition. Well, back to the fic then.

  'Does anyone disagree with the plan then?'

  Suboshi opens his mouth, but quickly decides against saying anything when Soi and Tomo give him a deadly look.

  'It's a great plan, Nakago-sama!'

  'We'll definitely be able to defeat them this time!'

  Ahem, Sansele?

  Yeah?

  Why are they so…

  Genki? Um, I think they had some sugar at tea.

  Long, deep sigh from Nakago…

  As Nakago explained the Top-Secret-Plan-That-Would-Definitely-Kill-The-Suzaku-Seishi (henceforth known as TSPTWDKTSS… great idea Nakago, a true brainwave.)

  Shut up.

  Yui-sama came in to tell the Seiryuu seishi to come for dinner. Immediately Suboshi stood up, despite Nakago's protest that he had not quite finished explaining yet… and immediately sat down again, after another round of murderous looks from Soi and Tomo.

  'Yui-sama, we'll go in two hours' time, I must explain the plan to them again, or we will never get our revenge.' Yui's face changed, and she stopped smiling.

  'You're quite right; I'll come back later. I'll… go study for a while.'

  So Yui… all right, fine, Yui-sama goes off to study in her room. Suboshi is looking a little mutinous, and Soi and Tomo are sitting up and taking notes most dutifully, while Nakago explains everything again. Poor Nakago. But is it not getting a little boring here? Let's go see what the Suzaku seishi are going to do…

  Well, well, back from Taiitsu-kun, eh, Chichiri? What did she say?

  She just gave me more of the same drug, and insisted we find a way to feed it to the Seiryuu seishi, no da. I suppose we have to think up a plan, not just to give them the drug, but also not expose our vulnerability, no da.

  And the Suzaku seishi and miko slump back, after trying their best to act like… their gender. What are they going to do now? And will they be able to stop the Seiryuu seishi's evil plan?

Ending credits play…

~~~~~~~~~

Thanks to all who reviewed! But ooh, a flame…

Nuriko: Let's give it to Tasuki!

Tasuki: Now I can flame Tamahome some more! Heh, heh…

Wait one sec…. TAMAHOME!!! Didn't I tell you not to insult me and the other reviewers?!

Tamahome: Eh, heh… (Runs away, Tasuki chasing him and flaming him)

A/n: Okay, I actually like Miaka; just that she's an idiot sometimes. And as you can see, she's a bishounen, regardless of what some may say… no hairy legs, because I can't remember a bishounen with those. Yep, just wanted to cross out any doubts… And don't kill me Tamahome fans! It was just a joke… (Backs off as far as possible)