"You're kidding!" Sirius roared as he slammed down the piece of parchment
that had previously landed in his toast. Next to him, Anya, Portia and
Remus wore identical expressions of surprise.
"What's the matter?" Anya asked, more than a bit worried aobut Sirius's mental state of mind.
"Read this," he shoved the parchment into her hands. Scanning the paper, her expression changed drastically, and she broke out into a fit of giggles.
"May I ask what's so funny?" Portia asked with raised eyebrows.
"Listen to this.
Dear Mr Black,
As part of the sixth and seventh year curriculum this year, the Ministry of Magic has requested we give a short course about the Reproductive Health of the students. Please be informed that you are to teach the 6th years. We will assign you a co-teacher shortly.
Thankyou,
Albus Dumbledore,"
Anya was laughing so hard at the end of the letter tears were streaming down her face. Remus and Portia also looked to be having trouble trying to keep straight faces.
"S'not funny!" Sirius protested.
"Actually, it is. Very funny in fact," Remus said, finally succumbing to the laughter he had previously hidden. Portia dissolved into giggles, Anya was still laughing, but Sirius did not look amused. The flapping of an owl at her ear signified to Anya that she had mail. She carefully removed it from the large barn owl, and gave it a piece of her toast. Unfolding the note it had left, the smile rapidly left her face. She groaned loudly. Portia and Remus gave similar responses to the mail that had arrived for them. Now it was Sirius's turn to look smug.
"I can't believe they're making us do this, " Portia complained.
"At least it's part of your job description. I signed up for teaching Defence Against the Dark Arts, not teaching a bunch of 7th years about making babies!" Remus said bitterly.
"Oh, you're doing the 7th years as well. Guess we're co-teachers than Remus," Portia noticed. This placated Remus slightly. "That means we have to teach together, doesn't it?" Sirius said glumly to Anya. She gave him an offended look.
"Not that that's a bad thing!" he apologised hastily. Eyebrows still raised very high, Anya turned back to her letter.
"I think this is going to be on the most humiliating experiences I'll ever go through," she said ominously. Her three teacher friends shared the same feelings of pessimism.
"Holy hell! " Ron cursed, reading the notice pinned to the common room board. This caught Harry's and Hermione's attention of course, and so they too joined Ron at the board.
"Oh god," Hermione sighed.
"Yes?" Ron said, quick as a wink. Hermione elbowed him in the ribs, and he took a step back.
"I can't believe they're making us do this," Harry groaned. As the crowd of 6th and 7th years grew around them, the level of giggling was raised quite considerably. Some people just laughed it off, but others blushed a deep red when they read the announcement regarding their Reproductive Health classes. The buzz about the classes grew over the coming days, and it was in Care of Magical Creatures that excitement finally bubbled over. Sirius was finding it hard to teach, as his pupils chatted about the Health classes they were to attend in a few hours.
"I wonder what they'll actually teach us?"
"I hope they aren't gross!"
"What if we already know everything?!"
"I wonder who's taking us?"
Questions were flying around the class, but Sirius only managed to pick up on the last one. He looked disgruntled as he called the class to attention.
"I know that some of you may be a bit interested as to what this afternoon's Health classes will entail, but for now, please keep your noise down to a dull roar. And I'm sure you will find out who's taking you for the classes when you walk into the room!" With that, Sirius started his lesson about Griffins.
When the 6th years walked into the Ballroom that afternoon, many of them got a bad case of the giggles. Anya and Sirius were standing out the front on a mini-platform, arguing about who-knows-what. When Sirius saw Harry he waved half-heartedly, but didn't stop his tirade with Anya. Finally, when everyone was seated, the two teachers turned to look at the students. Neither knew exactly where to start.
"Ok, welcome everyone!" Anya started.
"I know most of you don't think you need to be here, because you may think you already know everything. And if I remember my 6th year class, we also thought we knew this stuff pretty well! But there are still some things you need to know, and that's what we are here for. I must stress that just because we are teaching you these spells, there is no pressure for you to actually USE them, we would prefer you didn't actually!" Anya introduced the topic well, and after awhile, Sirius joined in as well. The 6th years sat in amazement through the 'talk', not saying anything till they exited the hall. Many of the students were a bit wide-eyed.
"You don't think we went a bit.overboard?" Sirius asked worriedly. Anya smiled, laughed and punched him lightly in the gut.
"Like you wouldn't have loved to know this stuff at their age!" she teased, and he blushed.
"What's the matter?" Anya asked, more than a bit worried aobut Sirius's mental state of mind.
"Read this," he shoved the parchment into her hands. Scanning the paper, her expression changed drastically, and she broke out into a fit of giggles.
"May I ask what's so funny?" Portia asked with raised eyebrows.
"Listen to this.
Dear Mr Black,
As part of the sixth and seventh year curriculum this year, the Ministry of Magic has requested we give a short course about the Reproductive Health of the students. Please be informed that you are to teach the 6th years. We will assign you a co-teacher shortly.
Thankyou,
Albus Dumbledore,"
Anya was laughing so hard at the end of the letter tears were streaming down her face. Remus and Portia also looked to be having trouble trying to keep straight faces.
"S'not funny!" Sirius protested.
"Actually, it is. Very funny in fact," Remus said, finally succumbing to the laughter he had previously hidden. Portia dissolved into giggles, Anya was still laughing, but Sirius did not look amused. The flapping of an owl at her ear signified to Anya that she had mail. She carefully removed it from the large barn owl, and gave it a piece of her toast. Unfolding the note it had left, the smile rapidly left her face. She groaned loudly. Portia and Remus gave similar responses to the mail that had arrived for them. Now it was Sirius's turn to look smug.
"I can't believe they're making us do this, " Portia complained.
"At least it's part of your job description. I signed up for teaching Defence Against the Dark Arts, not teaching a bunch of 7th years about making babies!" Remus said bitterly.
"Oh, you're doing the 7th years as well. Guess we're co-teachers than Remus," Portia noticed. This placated Remus slightly. "That means we have to teach together, doesn't it?" Sirius said glumly to Anya. She gave him an offended look.
"Not that that's a bad thing!" he apologised hastily. Eyebrows still raised very high, Anya turned back to her letter.
"I think this is going to be on the most humiliating experiences I'll ever go through," she said ominously. Her three teacher friends shared the same feelings of pessimism.
"Holy hell! " Ron cursed, reading the notice pinned to the common room board. This caught Harry's and Hermione's attention of course, and so they too joined Ron at the board.
"Oh god," Hermione sighed.
"Yes?" Ron said, quick as a wink. Hermione elbowed him in the ribs, and he took a step back.
"I can't believe they're making us do this," Harry groaned. As the crowd of 6th and 7th years grew around them, the level of giggling was raised quite considerably. Some people just laughed it off, but others blushed a deep red when they read the announcement regarding their Reproductive Health classes. The buzz about the classes grew over the coming days, and it was in Care of Magical Creatures that excitement finally bubbled over. Sirius was finding it hard to teach, as his pupils chatted about the Health classes they were to attend in a few hours.
"I wonder what they'll actually teach us?"
"I hope they aren't gross!"
"What if we already know everything?!"
"I wonder who's taking us?"
Questions were flying around the class, but Sirius only managed to pick up on the last one. He looked disgruntled as he called the class to attention.
"I know that some of you may be a bit interested as to what this afternoon's Health classes will entail, but for now, please keep your noise down to a dull roar. And I'm sure you will find out who's taking you for the classes when you walk into the room!" With that, Sirius started his lesson about Griffins.
When the 6th years walked into the Ballroom that afternoon, many of them got a bad case of the giggles. Anya and Sirius were standing out the front on a mini-platform, arguing about who-knows-what. When Sirius saw Harry he waved half-heartedly, but didn't stop his tirade with Anya. Finally, when everyone was seated, the two teachers turned to look at the students. Neither knew exactly where to start.
"Ok, welcome everyone!" Anya started.
"I know most of you don't think you need to be here, because you may think you already know everything. And if I remember my 6th year class, we also thought we knew this stuff pretty well! But there are still some things you need to know, and that's what we are here for. I must stress that just because we are teaching you these spells, there is no pressure for you to actually USE them, we would prefer you didn't actually!" Anya introduced the topic well, and after awhile, Sirius joined in as well. The 6th years sat in amazement through the 'talk', not saying anything till they exited the hall. Many of the students were a bit wide-eyed.
"You don't think we went a bit.overboard?" Sirius asked worriedly. Anya smiled, laughed and punched him lightly in the gut.
"Like you wouldn't have loved to know this stuff at their age!" she teased, and he blushed.