The Entertaining Escape, Part I: The Wary Warning
"Shut up, Potter!"
Harry was startled out of a deep sleep. It was still nighttime, but he could see by the navy blue sky that it was almost time to wake up anyways. He then realized what had waken him up. He glared at Malfoy.
"What's your problem? I was trying to sleep!"
"Yelling was more like it! Yelling on and on about some stupid book trying to eat you!" Malfoy sat up and ran his fingers through his silvery blond hair. "I can't take this anymore."
"You'd better shut up yourself before Madam Pomfrey comes in here. Imagine the rest of the day with no visitors."
Malfoy threw a glance at Harry, who was currently searching around his nightstand for his glasses. When he found them and put them on, it was almost as if the glasses had the ability to give Harry the correct temperature as well as correct his eyesight.
"It's freezing!" Harry yelped. He pulled the covers over his head as he shivered.
"Don't be such a prat, of course it's freezing," Malfoy muttered. "It took you long enough to realize it too."
"Shut up," Harry's muffled voice came from underneath the sheets. "Damn, I have to get out of here."
"Not until you get blue sparks."
"And how should you know that?" Harry asked, trying to pry information out of Malfoy about the disease.
"Shut up and go back to sleep."
Harry growled slightly. "How am I supposed to fall asleep now?"
"Easy. Close your eyes and count backwards."
It took Harry a second to realize that Malfoy hadn't given him a sarcastic remark, and that he was actually being helpful. No sooner had these thoughts crossed Harry's mind did Malfoy start talking again.
"It would help both of us. I'd get some quiet since you'd be asleep, and you get to give yourself a reminder counting lesson."
Harry couldn't help himself. He picked up his pillow and hurled it at Malfoy, who simply caught it and put it down on top of his own pillow. "Thanks."
Harry groaned in rage and annoyance before sheltering himself back underneath the sheets. It seemed that the noise had finally awaken Madam Pomfrey from her sleep and she emerged from her office sleepily.
"What are you two doing awake?" she asked. She switched on the lights. "Honestly, you two... Well, you might as well go back to sleep, because there's nothing else to do."
Harry groaned again. "Can't I leave? I feel much better, really I do."
"Just because you feel better, Mr. Potter, doesn't mean you are better," Madam Pomfrey said busily. She pulled off Harry and Malfoy's sheets, threw them into a pile as she had yesterday with the shirts, and walked back into her office.
Harry just gaped after her. "Can't I at least have my shirt back?" he muttered to himself.
Malfoy rolled his eyes and climbed out of bed.
"Where are you going?" Harry asked curiously.
"Is there anywhere to go?" Malfoy said sarcastically as he bent over and touched his toes. Harry had no idea he was so flexible as he watched Malfoy turn his back to Harry and stretch his arms and his legs. He then expressed his double jointed-ability and popped out his shoulder blades.
"Can you please not do that?" Harry muttered in disgust. He thought that being double jointed would be cool, but not if people started popping out their shoulder blades.
"Why were you watching anyways?" Malfoy replied as he popped them back into place. He yawned and combed his morning hair with his fingers.
"As if there's anything else to do," Harry said. He looked out of the window to see the sun start to rise. "I'm missing Charms," Harry sighed.
Malfoy didn't reply aloud as he sat back down on his bed. Harry couldn't help but glance at Malfoy, who seemed to go slack again. Madam Pomfrey bustled back in and she gasped. "No, no, Mr. Malfoy, please, do snap out of it!"
Malfoy tensed and looked around.
"You need rest, both of you!"
Harry couldn't stop the flow of complaints that went from his mouth. It was worst than being stuck with the Dursleys! All right, being stuck in the infirmary wasn't that bad, but it was still really boring!
"Then talk! Gossip as you little children do all of the time! Are you not in the same years?"
Harry nodded, and then he suddenly felt very tired. Yesterday's happenings hit him. He looked at Malfoy, who was staring out of the window. Malfoy... was attracted to him... And... Well, at least Malfoy was having a good time. He was probably staring at Harry all last night. But really, Harry shouldn't be talking.
Harry looked away quickly, vowing to himself that it would be the last time he looked at Malfoy unless he was talking to him.
"Madam Pomfrey, may I have my shirt at least?"
"No," Madam Pomfrey said. "It's better if the cold wind hit you full force. You'll feel much better if it's that way."
"Why?"
"Mr. Malfoy will explain," Madam Pomfrey said as she began to leave the infirmary. "But please, if it does get too cold, there are shirts in the closet, but only if it gets too cold!" and she left the infirmary all together.
"God, I can't stand this!" Harry yelled. "Kill me, somebody!"
"You don't want that," Malfoy said. "You should at least allow You-Know-Who to have fun with you."
"You mean your master?" Harry growled.
Malfoy stood up in anger and glared at Harry, but he didn't answer. He couldn't have answered anyways, because the next moment the door burst open, and the very next second Hermione was hanging on him. Ron was throwing a fit and was going on and on about Malfoy raping Harry.
"What are you talking about?" both Harry and Malfoy asked incredulously.
"Everyone knows that you like-" Ron started at Malfoy, but Harry leapt on him with Hermione still hanging around his neck, which resulted in the three falling to the ground. He covered Ron's mouth and muttered hastily in his ear that Malfoy didn't know Harry knew yet - he had been in the infirmary all night yesterday.
"But then he knows that we know he's gay," Ron muttered as he stood up.
"Not exactly," Hermione said, standing up as well. "It was only until we were at Hogwarts did many of the people find out about it."
Malfoy had surely heard Hermione, but he didn't seem to be curious at all, or even care. Ron and Hermione continued talking with Harry about everything that had happened after he ran from the hall - about Snape throwing at fit and McGonagall going after Harry, and then the rumor spreading that Malfoy was also in the infirmary and he had raped Harry.
Harry couldn't help but laugh. The idea seemed so idiotic, especially since Malfoy had barely even spoken to Harry all night. Still, Hermione expressed her feelings very clearly.
"This doesn't mean he won't try to hurt you," she whispered worriedly to Harry.
"No, honestly," Harry whispered back. "He won't touch me, I swear."
"Are you sure?" Ron muttered, "Because I can always throw him out of the window if you need me to..."
"No, it's okay," Harry muttered. Madam Pomfrey came back at that moment and rushed Hermione and Ron away, yelling after them that they were very late for classes. Before Hermione had left, however, she did some thinking and mouthed, "Pumpkin," to Harry, and it took him a while to realize that it must be the Gryffindor password.
Harry laid back down in gratitude, and Malfoy in boredom. And so the two boys were thrown back into silence. Finally, Malfoy broke it.
"I've been thinking, Potter, that if we're going to survive Madam Pomfrey and her dumb infirmary we're going to just have to work together."
Harry hated Malfoy, true, but he couldn't help but perk up slightly. "What are you saying?"
"That we at least try to escape."
"What about the disease?"
Malfoy laughed. "The disease is a flu. What you were hearing Madam Pomfrey and Professor McGonagall say last night was about a disease that's going around in the area that you live. They were worried that that was the problem you had, but if that was the problem, your skin would be turning blue right about now."
Harry was suddenly relieved. He rolled over and looked at Malfoy. "So what's the plan?"
"You do know that this is only for amusement and that we'll be caught," Malfoy said.
"Of course."
"You do know that as soon as our flu completely leaves our systems we'll be sent to detention."
"Of course."
"You do know that I'll still hate your guts down to the ground, you great prat."
"Of course."
"Then lets go," Malfoy said, jumping out of bed and walked over to the closet. He pulled on a shirt and tossed another one to Harry, who caught it and pulled it on. Malfoy then left the infirmary, and Harry jumped out after him and together they left the infirmary and stole down the corridors. Harry realized at that moment that they would be much better off either back in the infirmary or with two of his most prized objects - his invisibility cloak and The Marauder's Map.
"Come to Gryffindor with me," Harry said.
"What? Why?" Malfoy muttered as he looked around the corner. "You don't even know the password."
"I do too," Harry said. "Come on."
"Shut up, Potter!"
Harry was startled out of a deep sleep. It was still nighttime, but he could see by the navy blue sky that it was almost time to wake up anyways. He then realized what had waken him up. He glared at Malfoy.
"What's your problem? I was trying to sleep!"
"Yelling was more like it! Yelling on and on about some stupid book trying to eat you!" Malfoy sat up and ran his fingers through his silvery blond hair. "I can't take this anymore."
"You'd better shut up yourself before Madam Pomfrey comes in here. Imagine the rest of the day with no visitors."
Malfoy threw a glance at Harry, who was currently searching around his nightstand for his glasses. When he found them and put them on, it was almost as if the glasses had the ability to give Harry the correct temperature as well as correct his eyesight.
"It's freezing!" Harry yelped. He pulled the covers over his head as he shivered.
"Don't be such a prat, of course it's freezing," Malfoy muttered. "It took you long enough to realize it too."
"Shut up," Harry's muffled voice came from underneath the sheets. "Damn, I have to get out of here."
"Not until you get blue sparks."
"And how should you know that?" Harry asked, trying to pry information out of Malfoy about the disease.
"Shut up and go back to sleep."
Harry growled slightly. "How am I supposed to fall asleep now?"
"Easy. Close your eyes and count backwards."
It took Harry a second to realize that Malfoy hadn't given him a sarcastic remark, and that he was actually being helpful. No sooner had these thoughts crossed Harry's mind did Malfoy start talking again.
"It would help both of us. I'd get some quiet since you'd be asleep, and you get to give yourself a reminder counting lesson."
Harry couldn't help himself. He picked up his pillow and hurled it at Malfoy, who simply caught it and put it down on top of his own pillow. "Thanks."
Harry groaned in rage and annoyance before sheltering himself back underneath the sheets. It seemed that the noise had finally awaken Madam Pomfrey from her sleep and she emerged from her office sleepily.
"What are you two doing awake?" she asked. She switched on the lights. "Honestly, you two... Well, you might as well go back to sleep, because there's nothing else to do."
Harry groaned again. "Can't I leave? I feel much better, really I do."
"Just because you feel better, Mr. Potter, doesn't mean you are better," Madam Pomfrey said busily. She pulled off Harry and Malfoy's sheets, threw them into a pile as she had yesterday with the shirts, and walked back into her office.
Harry just gaped after her. "Can't I at least have my shirt back?" he muttered to himself.
Malfoy rolled his eyes and climbed out of bed.
"Where are you going?" Harry asked curiously.
"Is there anywhere to go?" Malfoy said sarcastically as he bent over and touched his toes. Harry had no idea he was so flexible as he watched Malfoy turn his back to Harry and stretch his arms and his legs. He then expressed his double jointed-ability and popped out his shoulder blades.
"Can you please not do that?" Harry muttered in disgust. He thought that being double jointed would be cool, but not if people started popping out their shoulder blades.
"Why were you watching anyways?" Malfoy replied as he popped them back into place. He yawned and combed his morning hair with his fingers.
"As if there's anything else to do," Harry said. He looked out of the window to see the sun start to rise. "I'm missing Charms," Harry sighed.
Malfoy didn't reply aloud as he sat back down on his bed. Harry couldn't help but glance at Malfoy, who seemed to go slack again. Madam Pomfrey bustled back in and she gasped. "No, no, Mr. Malfoy, please, do snap out of it!"
Malfoy tensed and looked around.
"You need rest, both of you!"
Harry couldn't stop the flow of complaints that went from his mouth. It was worst than being stuck with the Dursleys! All right, being stuck in the infirmary wasn't that bad, but it was still really boring!
"Then talk! Gossip as you little children do all of the time! Are you not in the same years?"
Harry nodded, and then he suddenly felt very tired. Yesterday's happenings hit him. He looked at Malfoy, who was staring out of the window. Malfoy... was attracted to him... And... Well, at least Malfoy was having a good time. He was probably staring at Harry all last night. But really, Harry shouldn't be talking.
Harry looked away quickly, vowing to himself that it would be the last time he looked at Malfoy unless he was talking to him.
"Madam Pomfrey, may I have my shirt at least?"
"No," Madam Pomfrey said. "It's better if the cold wind hit you full force. You'll feel much better if it's that way."
"Why?"
"Mr. Malfoy will explain," Madam Pomfrey said as she began to leave the infirmary. "But please, if it does get too cold, there are shirts in the closet, but only if it gets too cold!" and she left the infirmary all together.
"God, I can't stand this!" Harry yelled. "Kill me, somebody!"
"You don't want that," Malfoy said. "You should at least allow You-Know-Who to have fun with you."
"You mean your master?" Harry growled.
Malfoy stood up in anger and glared at Harry, but he didn't answer. He couldn't have answered anyways, because the next moment the door burst open, and the very next second Hermione was hanging on him. Ron was throwing a fit and was going on and on about Malfoy raping Harry.
"What are you talking about?" both Harry and Malfoy asked incredulously.
"Everyone knows that you like-" Ron started at Malfoy, but Harry leapt on him with Hermione still hanging around his neck, which resulted in the three falling to the ground. He covered Ron's mouth and muttered hastily in his ear that Malfoy didn't know Harry knew yet - he had been in the infirmary all night yesterday.
"But then he knows that we know he's gay," Ron muttered as he stood up.
"Not exactly," Hermione said, standing up as well. "It was only until we were at Hogwarts did many of the people find out about it."
Malfoy had surely heard Hermione, but he didn't seem to be curious at all, or even care. Ron and Hermione continued talking with Harry about everything that had happened after he ran from the hall - about Snape throwing at fit and McGonagall going after Harry, and then the rumor spreading that Malfoy was also in the infirmary and he had raped Harry.
Harry couldn't help but laugh. The idea seemed so idiotic, especially since Malfoy had barely even spoken to Harry all night. Still, Hermione expressed her feelings very clearly.
"This doesn't mean he won't try to hurt you," she whispered worriedly to Harry.
"No, honestly," Harry whispered back. "He won't touch me, I swear."
"Are you sure?" Ron muttered, "Because I can always throw him out of the window if you need me to..."
"No, it's okay," Harry muttered. Madam Pomfrey came back at that moment and rushed Hermione and Ron away, yelling after them that they were very late for classes. Before Hermione had left, however, she did some thinking and mouthed, "Pumpkin," to Harry, and it took him a while to realize that it must be the Gryffindor password.
Harry laid back down in gratitude, and Malfoy in boredom. And so the two boys were thrown back into silence. Finally, Malfoy broke it.
"I've been thinking, Potter, that if we're going to survive Madam Pomfrey and her dumb infirmary we're going to just have to work together."
Harry hated Malfoy, true, but he couldn't help but perk up slightly. "What are you saying?"
"That we at least try to escape."
"What about the disease?"
Malfoy laughed. "The disease is a flu. What you were hearing Madam Pomfrey and Professor McGonagall say last night was about a disease that's going around in the area that you live. They were worried that that was the problem you had, but if that was the problem, your skin would be turning blue right about now."
Harry was suddenly relieved. He rolled over and looked at Malfoy. "So what's the plan?"
"You do know that this is only for amusement and that we'll be caught," Malfoy said.
"Of course."
"You do know that as soon as our flu completely leaves our systems we'll be sent to detention."
"Of course."
"You do know that I'll still hate your guts down to the ground, you great prat."
"Of course."
"Then lets go," Malfoy said, jumping out of bed and walked over to the closet. He pulled on a shirt and tossed another one to Harry, who caught it and pulled it on. Malfoy then left the infirmary, and Harry jumped out after him and together they left the infirmary and stole down the corridors. Harry realized at that moment that they would be much better off either back in the infirmary or with two of his most prized objects - his invisibility cloak and The Marauder's Map.
"Come to Gryffindor with me," Harry said.
"What? Why?" Malfoy muttered as he looked around the corner. "You don't even know the password."
"I do too," Harry said. "Come on."