Voldie Goes to Mordor
By: The Uruk-hai Hotties
I just took this Lotr personality test and you know who they said I was most like? Denethor! Can you believe it?! I'm so scandalized. I hated Denethor with a passion. Just ask Maw, I was yelling at him during Photo as I was reading the book. Grrr... You'd think I could get anyone better. I'd rather be Sauron! Okay, on with the story.
Part 20 (*gasp* 20?? Already??)
By: Paw Greenleaf and Mr. Frodo (aka "Kokushi, Mr. Frodo, Kyook" on ff.net)
Paw Greenleaf: Why is it blizzarding? It's spring for god's sake!
Saruman: I know not, but all I can say is that I'm straighter than a leaf being blown around in a tornado!
Shifty Character: I think it's time for a MEANWHILE... *at Hogwarts*
Saruman: Wow, this is a really impressive castle, but I still think my citadel is SO better.
Voldie: Well it definitely beats my old run down mansion.
Samwise: The moving staircases are a nice touch, but this place needs more pastels!
Frodo: Hey, can we go visit Moaning Myrtle?
Harry: I don't think you would want to -
Pippin: Oh yes we do!
Harry: Well, if you insist, I'll take you to her bathroom. *they walk to that bathroom with the "Out of Order" sign*
Moaning Myrtle: Oh why have you come to make fun of me again? Yes, I have glasses! Yes, I'm ugly! Get used to the idea!
Merry: But we just wanted to visit you!
M. M.: Oh yeah, just like Olive Hornby wanted to "visit" me when she come in here to tease me!
Pippin: *backing away* We'll be going now...
Ron: *cough* idiot! *cough*
M.M.: *starts crying hysterically*
Shifty Character: Meanwhile, back at the Prancing Pony...
Pippin: I want my PINT! Gimme my pint right now!
Mr. Butterbur: All right, all right. Hold your horses.
Pippin: I ain't got no horses, but what I should have is my -
Mr. Butterbur: Here! Take your pint already! *Pippin is drinking happily as the Nazgul walk in looking all ghetto*
Head Nazgul: Wazzup, Butterbur my man! Guess what, bro? I got my right arm tattooed!
Mr. Butterbur: Don't you mean you got a tattoo on your right arm?
Head Nazgul: No, man! I'm a skeleton, homie. Wanna see it? *shows him a tattoo of a cute fuzzy bunny saying "I love the inflation bunny"* (a/n We watch too much Standard Deviants in Economics class*
Mr. Butterbur: How very - very touching. Uh, it's so you!
H. Nazgul: Oh, I know. Hey my hobbit peeps! How's it hangin' wit you?
Frodo: Um, why are you acting all friendly now? You did try to kll us last time we were here.
H. Nazgul: Oh no we didn't! Fatty and his followers were supposed to be here. You know, that hobbit who's trying to take over Middle Earth and defeat my man Sauron.
Samwise: Ah-hah. That explains a lot. Because my Mr. Frodo was so scared that night he wouldn't even - *Frodo elbows him*
Samwise: I'll shut up now.
Paw Greenleaf: I think whoever invented ellipses and hyperboles should be dragged out onto the street and shot.
Pippin: What's an ellipse?
Paw G.: This pointless thing in math that I'm NEVER going to use in later life, so I don't see why they have to torture me by making me sit through this class learning it! Grr!
Pippin: Oh.
Paw G.: And another thing! CHEMISTRY! All evil stems from it!
H. Nazgul: Oh, well if that's what's wrong wit Fatty, I'll just go over there and make Harry here put a Memory Charm on him so he won't remember any of it!
Nazgul #9: Somehow I highly doubt that's the problem, but ya know...
Paw G.: No, I mean that's another subject they use to torture us poor innocent students!
Random Pencil: Hey, can I interrupt here?
Paw G.: You always do.
Random Pencil: We're on page 60!
Samwise: *dragging Frodo by the arm* C'mon, Mr. Frodo, let's go celebrate!
Frodo: Let go of me you pervert! I'M NOT GAY! I wish people would quit making my gay in their fanfics!
Angua27: Well you and Samwise are a bit too friendly in the books to be considered straight.
Saruman: I'm straighter than Samwise! Oh wait, I already used that one...
*
Sam: And me and Frodo are not straight at all!
Frodo: Hey, are you making fun of me because I only have nine fingers, Sam?
Sam: Never Mr. Frodo! I was merely saying that we woke up homoerotically inclined this morning, so we weren't straight.
Frodo: Oh...
Boromir: Hey everybody's favourite rotting corpse is back! Let's get down to business, to defeat Sauron. Did he send me four hobbits, when I asked for tons?
Frodo, Sam, Pippin, and Merry: Hey we're hobbit enough to take you out corpse boy!
Boromir: Sorry guys, it's only a song! I really love you, you guys! I love hobbits! And I love you guys!
All: Ewww... his arm fell off!
Boromir: Oops, maybe I should go get that fixed!
Purely Random Intermission: la da da da dum...
Random Narrator: And then from out of nowhere appeared Harry Potter and crew.
*Harry Potter and crew appear*
Random Narrator: Then a ton of orcs appear.
*do do do do... waiting for exactly one ton of orcs to appear*
Random Narrator: Can't you weigh those orcs any faster?
Scottie from Star Trek: We're weighing 'em with all we got cap'n!
Random Narrator: ...okay.
*exactly one ton of orcs appear*
Random Narrator: There is suddenly a great flash of lightening that strikes Hagrid's foot.
Hagrid: Harry, did you know that - OWWW! Holy gallopin' Gamgees!
Sam: Where?
**
By: The Uruk-hai Hotties
I just took this Lotr personality test and you know who they said I was most like? Denethor! Can you believe it?! I'm so scandalized. I hated Denethor with a passion. Just ask Maw, I was yelling at him during Photo as I was reading the book. Grrr... You'd think I could get anyone better. I'd rather be Sauron! Okay, on with the story.
Part 20 (*gasp* 20?? Already??)
By: Paw Greenleaf and Mr. Frodo (aka "Kokushi, Mr. Frodo, Kyook" on ff.net)
Paw Greenleaf: Why is it blizzarding? It's spring for god's sake!
Saruman: I know not, but all I can say is that I'm straighter than a leaf being blown around in a tornado!
Shifty Character: I think it's time for a MEANWHILE... *at Hogwarts*
Saruman: Wow, this is a really impressive castle, but I still think my citadel is SO better.
Voldie: Well it definitely beats my old run down mansion.
Samwise: The moving staircases are a nice touch, but this place needs more pastels!
Frodo: Hey, can we go visit Moaning Myrtle?
Harry: I don't think you would want to -
Pippin: Oh yes we do!
Harry: Well, if you insist, I'll take you to her bathroom. *they walk to that bathroom with the "Out of Order" sign*
Moaning Myrtle: Oh why have you come to make fun of me again? Yes, I have glasses! Yes, I'm ugly! Get used to the idea!
Merry: But we just wanted to visit you!
M. M.: Oh yeah, just like Olive Hornby wanted to "visit" me when she come in here to tease me!
Pippin: *backing away* We'll be going now...
Ron: *cough* idiot! *cough*
M.M.: *starts crying hysterically*
Shifty Character: Meanwhile, back at the Prancing Pony...
Pippin: I want my PINT! Gimme my pint right now!
Mr. Butterbur: All right, all right. Hold your horses.
Pippin: I ain't got no horses, but what I should have is my -
Mr. Butterbur: Here! Take your pint already! *Pippin is drinking happily as the Nazgul walk in looking all ghetto*
Head Nazgul: Wazzup, Butterbur my man! Guess what, bro? I got my right arm tattooed!
Mr. Butterbur: Don't you mean you got a tattoo on your right arm?
Head Nazgul: No, man! I'm a skeleton, homie. Wanna see it? *shows him a tattoo of a cute fuzzy bunny saying "I love the inflation bunny"* (a/n We watch too much Standard Deviants in Economics class*
Mr. Butterbur: How very - very touching. Uh, it's so you!
H. Nazgul: Oh, I know. Hey my hobbit peeps! How's it hangin' wit you?
Frodo: Um, why are you acting all friendly now? You did try to kll us last time we were here.
H. Nazgul: Oh no we didn't! Fatty and his followers were supposed to be here. You know, that hobbit who's trying to take over Middle Earth and defeat my man Sauron.
Samwise: Ah-hah. That explains a lot. Because my Mr. Frodo was so scared that night he wouldn't even - *Frodo elbows him*
Samwise: I'll shut up now.
Paw Greenleaf: I think whoever invented ellipses and hyperboles should be dragged out onto the street and shot.
Pippin: What's an ellipse?
Paw G.: This pointless thing in math that I'm NEVER going to use in later life, so I don't see why they have to torture me by making me sit through this class learning it! Grr!
Pippin: Oh.
Paw G.: And another thing! CHEMISTRY! All evil stems from it!
H. Nazgul: Oh, well if that's what's wrong wit Fatty, I'll just go over there and make Harry here put a Memory Charm on him so he won't remember any of it!
Nazgul #9: Somehow I highly doubt that's the problem, but ya know...
Paw G.: No, I mean that's another subject they use to torture us poor innocent students!
Random Pencil: Hey, can I interrupt here?
Paw G.: You always do.
Random Pencil: We're on page 60!
Samwise: *dragging Frodo by the arm* C'mon, Mr. Frodo, let's go celebrate!
Frodo: Let go of me you pervert! I'M NOT GAY! I wish people would quit making my gay in their fanfics!
Angua27: Well you and Samwise are a bit too friendly in the books to be considered straight.
Saruman: I'm straighter than Samwise! Oh wait, I already used that one...
*
Sam: And me and Frodo are not straight at all!
Frodo: Hey, are you making fun of me because I only have nine fingers, Sam?
Sam: Never Mr. Frodo! I was merely saying that we woke up homoerotically inclined this morning, so we weren't straight.
Frodo: Oh...
Boromir: Hey everybody's favourite rotting corpse is back! Let's get down to business, to defeat Sauron. Did he send me four hobbits, when I asked for tons?
Frodo, Sam, Pippin, and Merry: Hey we're hobbit enough to take you out corpse boy!
Boromir: Sorry guys, it's only a song! I really love you, you guys! I love hobbits! And I love you guys!
All: Ewww... his arm fell off!
Boromir: Oops, maybe I should go get that fixed!
Purely Random Intermission: la da da da dum...
Random Narrator: And then from out of nowhere appeared Harry Potter and crew.
*Harry Potter and crew appear*
Random Narrator: Then a ton of orcs appear.
*do do do do... waiting for exactly one ton of orcs to appear*
Random Narrator: Can't you weigh those orcs any faster?
Scottie from Star Trek: We're weighing 'em with all we got cap'n!
Random Narrator: ...okay.
*exactly one ton of orcs appear*
Random Narrator: There is suddenly a great flash of lightening that strikes Hagrid's foot.
Hagrid: Harry, did you know that - OWWW! Holy gallopin' Gamgees!
Sam: Where?
**