Authors Note: I do NOT own any of these characters, blah dee blah dee blah…I would appreciate no flames. Constructive criticism is what I'm looking for here. I don't want "YOU SUCK I HATE YOU FUCK OFF AND DIE YOU STINK DON'T WRITE." I want QUALITY feedback, if that's too much to ask…haha, I'm rambling now…Anyway, I'll probably add a few more chapters later, I guess…Oh, Squaresoft is the main Kahuna, they own all these characters….although I sure do wish I owned Tifa…hee hee, BOOYA!
::girlfriend comes up and smacks him::
OW!!! Hey, baby! Come back! I was just kidding! I love yooooooou!!!
::runs after her::
Tifa trudged along the snowy walkways of Sector 7. She lived in Midgar, a highly polluted city run by corrupted politicians. Tifa would often wonder why she stayed in this hellhole. She then remembered she was looking for Cloud. As she passed Sector 7's train station, she noticed a young girl standing a few yards near the train graveyard. As Tifa approached the girl, she recognized short, black hair. She then knew immediately who it was. It was Yuffie, a slick little bitch who could steal anything if she wanted to. Tifa frowned and turned.
Maybe she didn't see-
"Hey, Tifa!"
Dammit!
Tifa turned around and watched Yuffie run up to her.
"Bout' time you got here. I'm freezing my ass off!" Yuffie said as she approached Tifa.
"Quit whining. Have you seen Cloud?" Tifa asked bitterly. Yuffie shrugged and said,
"Last time I saw im' he was in your bar. "Seventh Heaven", right?"
"That's what I named it."
"Anyway, I'm thirsty. Are you going back? I'll come with ya." Yuffie said, rubbing her hands. Tifa reluctantly nodded and headed away from the train graveyard with Yuffie. Tifa didn't really like Yuffie that much, back when the group stopped by Yuffie's hometown of Utai, she remembered getting locked in a cage and having all of her material stolen. Not the most pleasant memory of Yuffie.
"Wait, what were you doing at the train graveyard?" Tifa suddenly turned.
"Oh, uh…" Yuffie blushed and turned a little.
"Well, you see, uh…I was…scanning."
"Scanning?"
"You know…the premises…"
"For what?"
"Uh…Shinra?" Yuffie said with a hopeful grin. Tifa paused and then shook her head.
"I don't want to know." She said as she started to walk again. There was an awkward silence as they both walked on. Tifa stopped suddenly again. She turned and stared at Yuffie for a moment.
"Wait…you were waiting for me?" Tifa asked. Yuffie quickly looked at Tifa and then the ground.
"Uhm…what are you talking about?" Yuffie asked innocently.
"I'm talking about when you first saw me. What did you say?" Tifa asked suspiciously. Tifa was beginning to find out what Yuffie was doing.
"I said…."hey, Tifa?" Yuffie answered. Again, another awkward pause.
"After that." Tifa was starting to get annoyed.
"Oh, I don't really remember…"
"It was five minutes ago!"
"I know, but when you think about it, that's a really long time."
"Yuffie!"
"Tifa?"
"Knock this dumb shit off! What did you say to me?!"
"I just told you!"
"YUFFIE!!!"
"Okay, okay! I said, "it's about time you got here!" Yuffie turned around indignantly. Tifa stared a moment more.
"I didn't tell you to wait for me. Why the hell would you say that to me?" Tifa asked, even more annoyed.
"…I have my reasons."
"Just tell me!"
"No!"
"Why the hell not!?"
"BECAUSE IT'S NONE OF YOUR FRIGGIN' BUISNESS!!!" Yuffie screamed as she turned around. Tifa stared in disbelief at Yuffie.
"Were you born completely retarded, or does it just come natural to you?" Tifa muttered as she turned around to walk. Tifa took a few steps and noticed that Yuffie wasn't following.
"I…I was swiping." Yuffie said suddenly. Tifa stopped.
"What?" She said over her shoulder.
"You know, pick-pocketing. Stealing from the rich, and keeping it to my goddamn self…" Yuffie said as she rubbed the tip of her boot into a patch of snow. Tifa sighed, and looked up at the sky. When Cloud decided to let Yuffie join the group, he thought it would be good move to get her out of stealing. After all, Yuffie did screw them over one time. He spent his own fortune on classes that could help her stop. Yuffie agreed to this, and swore to Cloud that she would never take anything from anyone ever again. After all, Cloud was giving her a place to stay and food to eat on the HighWind. Tifa rubbed her eyes.
"God damn…dammit, Yuffie!" Tifa screamed. Yuffie looked at the ground.
"I know…I'm sorry…" Yuffie said quietly.
"Cloud spends a fucking fortune to help you, and what the hell do you do!? You dick him over! Not to mention you just dicked all of us over! Cloud's cut all of our expenses for you! I haven't had one goddamn hot shower on that piece of shit aircraft since-" Tifa yelled. Tifa could see that Yuffie was starting to cry.
"Oh, Jesus, Yuffie…" She said as she ran over to her. Tifa hugged Yuffie while she cried on Tifa's shoulder.
"I'm sorry…I'm so sorry….I couldn't help myself. That's why I grabbed your attention…A cop was about to catch me, so I used you as a way to get out of there before I was arrested." Yuffie sobbed. Tifa cursed in her mind again and again. She felt sorry for Yuffie. Yuffie didn't really have that great of a childhood, and she had to steal a lot for survival.
"It's ok. C'mon. I'll get you a drink. On the house. C'mon, let's go. It'll be fine, we'll talk to Cloud." Tifa said as she walked with Yuffie. Yuffie pulled away.
"Oh, god no! I couldn't! He'd hate me!" Yuffie started to cry and then ran off into the darkness of an alley. Tifa went after her, but Yuffie was well gone.
"Dammit…this is turning out to be one freakin' amazing week…" Tifa muttered as she trudged back to her bar.
Dammit, what the hell am I going to tell Cloud? He'll want to kill her! Tifa thought as she entered the small square where the bar was located. Her heart then sank because she saw Cid and Reeve fighting two drunks. Cid's nose was bloody, and his left arm was limp. Reeve wasn't any better, the left side of his face was cut and bleeding, and there was another cut above his right eyebrow. Both of their shirts were cut and bloody as well, she saw that one drunk had a knife.
Oh, Jesus Christ, he's got a KNIFE! Tifa thought frantically and ran towards them. As she approached, Reeve ripped off a plank of wood from nearby steps, and smashed it over the head of one of the drunks. Cid kneed the other in the stomach.
"Eat that , ya sonofabitch!" Cid screamed as the first drunk stumbled.
"Fuck you!" The drunk yelled back as he tackled Cid. Cid kicked him off and booted him across the face one last time. The drunk passed out. Reeve wasn't so lucky. The second drunk swiped the knife at Reeve, and luckily, Reeve dodged it. The drunk took another two swipes, one of them hitting Reeve's arm. Reeve cringed because of the pain, and smashed the plank over the drunk's head. The drunk took another smash and he was down for the count. Reeve then spat on him. Cid laughed as he picked up the drunk he was fighting and threw him into a dumpster. He then looked up and saw Tifa running full speed at him.
"Cid, you friggin' DUMBASS!!!" She yelled as she socked him in the side.
"Dammit, OW! Tifa, what the hell was that for?!" He whined as he cradled the side of his ribcage.
"For making the place look bad, you freaking idiot!" Tifa yelled back. Reeve just shrugged and went inside the bar. A roar of laughter and applause spilled out as Reeve stepped in. Cid rubbed the back of his neck.
"I'm sorry, Tif, but you know I have a bad temper. Those guy's were cussin' and wreckin' the whole bar. I had to do something." Cid said.
"So you beat the living hell out of them!? Each day I lose customers because of you fighting drunks!" Tifa yelled. She was so pissed at the moment that she forgot about Yuffie.
Then she remembered.
DAMMIT!
Now she was even more pissed.
"Umm…sorry?" Cid said sheepishly. There was an odd pause. Cid sniffed blood back into his nose. Tifa shook her head and said,
"Look, never mind. I have too much shit going down rather to be worried about the bar. Let's just go in, have a beer, and we'll have Aeris tend your wounds." She started up the stairs to the bar.
"Tif, I gotta admit, it was one HELLUVA fight…" Cid said to her back. Tifa turned and stared at Cid. He grinned. Tifa couldn't help but grin as well.
"You don't know when to shut up, do you?" Tifa said as she pushed the bar doors open. As she entered, a whole new atmosphere waved over her. A certain warmth surrounded her, a sense of feeling peace and tranquility. She searched for the word to describe it.
Home.
That was the first word that came to her thoughts. Home. Not the best place in the entire world, but Tifa at least owned it. She saw people drinking, laughing, telling stories to each other, and some were drinking their sorrows away. Reeve caught glimpse of her.
"Hey! There's my favorite hostess!" He yelled. Everyone turned and gave Tifa a cheer of welcome. She smiled and waved to everyone as she made her way to the bar table. Once she reached it, she was suddenly grabbed by the waist and pulled toward someone.
"What the-?!" She yelped in confusion. Tifa whipped around to see Cloud smiling broadly.
"And where the hell was you?! You gots drinks to soive, missus!" He exclaimed in a Brooklyn-ish accent. Tifa laughed and gave him a warm kiss hello. Tifa then jumped over the bar table. Cloud sat on a stool near her.
"Want something?" Aeris popped up from under the bar table with a few bottles a beer.
"Geezus, Aeris! If ya wanna scare the shit out of us, just take off your shirt!" Cloud said. Aeris angrily hit Cloud on the arm while he laughed.
"Wait…I thought you didn't condone drinking alcohol?" Cloud asked. Aeris shrugged.
"I don't. I just need a job so I can make some money. Tif was nice enough to give me a job. A job as a flower girl doesn't exactly rake in the dough, you know." She answered.
"Speaking of jobs, TIF! Gemme a lager brewski!" Cloud ordered.
"Cloud, that's not even what it's called."
"LAGER BREWSKI!"
"Excuse me?"
"Oh, I mean, uh…may I have one of the very harsh liquored drinks that I like, please?"
"Yes. That's more like it." Tifa said as she handed it over.
"I still don't understand how you can drink that crap…" Aeris said as she watched Cloud gulp it down.
"DeeeeeeeAMN!!!! That's friggin' GOOD!" He said as he shook away the shock. Then, as he looked at the glass,
"I dunno. I guess I like hard drinks."
"I know something else hard that Tifa likes…" Cid chimed in. Tifa smacked him upside the head.
"*Gasp* You bastard! How dare you talk about my penis in public! It's sacred to Tifa!" Cloud mocked. Tifa took a swing at Cloud, but he ducked out of the way.
"We gotta 2-11 in progress, baby!" He said in a Austin Powers-ish voice. Everyone laughed. There was a loud thump at the door, and an enormous figure loomed into the bar. Barret trudged over the bar.
"Heeeey, looky looky, somehow a pimped-out grizzly bear got in!" Cloud said as he got back on his stool.
"Shut the hell up." Barret growled as he sat down.
"God, what a rough night." he sighed.
"Why, what's the matter big guy?" Tifa asked as she cleaned out a mug for him. Barret sighed and stretched his huge muscles.
"Vince and I busted Rude again, but he gave one helluva gunfight." Barret reached for the mug and gulped the beer down in seconds. He let out a little gasp and put it down. He then yawned.
"Geezus, I got so much work in this job." Barret sighed.
"Then work it, girl!" Cloud said as he ridiculously snapped his fingers all around.
"Didn't I tell you to shut the hell up?"
"Well, you-"
"Excuse me?"
"No, Barret, I was just-"
"Oh, am I confused?"
"…(sigh)…No…"
"I thought so. Tif, hit me again….thanks….I just wanna stay home with Marlene." Barret said as he sucked down his second beer. He held his mug out for another. Tifa shook her head no.
"Uh-uh. It's after nine. Two's your limit." She said as she took the mug away from Barret. She started to polish it.
"Christ, Tifa! Come on!" Barret whined. Tifa shook her head again.
"Come on Ilene, oh I swear on my knee, at this moMENT, you mean EVERY-THIIIIINGGGG!!!" Cloud started to sing into his mug.
"What the hell is wrong wit you, cracka!? You on dope or sumthin'!?" Barret yelled at him.
"COME ON, Ilene!" Cloud started to sing again. Tifa shook her head and laughed. Barret was known to be a little bit of a lush at times, so every now and then she would cut him off. She started to wonder if she should've focused on Cloud instead. Vincent walked up and sat down next to Barret. He had a sullen look on his face, as he always did.
"Hi." He said dully as he rubbed his forehead. Cloud hopped off his stool and danced up to him.
"Aww, is da widdle zombwe sad? Does da widdle zombwe wanna blowjob from Tifa to make it all better?" Cloud mocked in a baby voice. He started to shake Vincent a little, and soon enough, Vincent grinned.
"Hell, I'm game." Vincent said.
"OW!"
He said a few seconds later. Aeris laughed and shook her head.
"Oh yeah. Cloud's drunk off his ass. That proves it." She said. Cloud grinned.
"Maybe I was, and maybe I isn't." He said. His speech was definitely a little slurred. He was reaching for his glass, but then fell to the ground. Tifa let a burst of laughter out.
"Barret, honey, please be kind enough to pick up my pathetic excuse for a boyfriend off the floor, please?" She asked sweetly. Barret ginned slightly and picked Cloud up with a massive paw. Barret yawned as he plopped Cloud back on his own seat.
Damn, Tifa thought. He DOES look tired. She couldn't help but notice the bags under Barret's eyes.
"Barret, why don't you catch some shut-eye, huh? You look wiped." She suggested. Barret nodded and slowly got up. He sort of waddled to the pinball machine that led down to his living/bed room. He pulled a lever and machinery groaned as the lift went down. Tifa was so intent on watching Barret, she didn't even notice that Cloud had passed out, and was drooling on her arm.
"Oh, you spikey-headed idiot." She muttered under her breath. Tifa lifted Cloud's head.
Good LORDY, for someone so buff, his head weighs a ton! It has to be all that gel he pumps into his hair! Tifa thought as she struggled him onto the bar table. Aeris suddenly turned to her.
"Hey, where's theif?" She asked. She meant Yuffie. That was her nickname. Tifa was wiping off dribble from her fore-arm, so she sort of half-consciously shrugged. Tifa then realized what she asked.
"Oh, OH! Right. She ran off somewhere." Tifa said, snapping back to reality. Reality then gave her a slap to the head.
SHIT! Yuffie! She remembered the predicament that she was in. Tifa leaned against the bar table, thinking.
"Hey…you okay?" Vincent asked suddenly. For a dead guy, he sure was sweet. Tifa smiled slightly and went back to cleaning out mugs with Aeris.
"Well, I caught her swiping." Tifa sighed out. Vincent nearly spilled his drink, and Aeris almost dropped a glass.
"WHAT?!" They shrieked in unsion. Tifa rolled her eyes.
"Oh, don't act so surprised! This is Yuffie we're talking about!" She said. Vincent shook his head and sipped some of his drink.
"Didn't Cloud spend like a fortune on her?!" He asked angrily. Tifa nodded sadly.
"You really caught her?" Aeris asked. Tifa didn't really feel like talking about this at the particular moment, she was sore as hell and wanted to go to bed. She tried ignoring the question by acting focused on a little smudge in the glass, and she rubbed it furiously to try and get it out. It had no avail though, Vincent and Aeris had their eyes on Tifa. And Tifa HATED being watched. It made her all nervous and she would start to sweat a little.
"Well…I didn't really catch her…she sort of used me like a patsy."
"A patsy?"
"She told me that a cop was about to catch her, so she used me to get out of the situation."
"And you helped her?"
"Vince, how the hell was I supposed to know? I was looking for this nitwit, Cloud!"
"Really? Why?" Tifa suddenly thought about what Aeris had just asked. Why was she looking for Cloud? Doesn't matter. She would think about it later.
"That doesn't matter, Aeris. What matters is that Tifa found her." Vince said. Tifa gave a quick thank you to him in her mind.
"Yes, true. But how much did Cloud spend on her? Like, twenty-two thousand gil?" Aeris asked.
"Fifty-five thousand to be exact." A raspy voice came from Cloud's direction. Tifa whipped around to see Cloud, eyes shut tight, pinching the area right above his nose. He got up.
"Cloud, I am SO sorry, I just go there and she was already doing it, I swear, I could've stopped her if I just got there a little-"
"Tifa." Cloud held up his hand, and it silenced her. He walked over to her slowly and gave her a hug.
"It's not your fault. We'll deal with this tomorrow. I feel like hell. I'm going up to sleep now." He rasped out. Cloud then slowly walked up the stairs to the bedrooms. Tifa quickly thought about how Cloud spent some extra cash to remodel some of the bar, like giving it an extra floor.
"Boy, he didn't seem too happy." Vincent said.
Tifa glanced up at the clock.
"Geezus! Twelve already?! Okay, peoples, closing time!" She yelled to the crowd. She found it odd to be so late already. There was a wave of groans and whines that came from most of the men.
"Oh, knock it off, ya pussies! Go home to yer wives!" Cid shouted. He got a roar of laughter from that one. Tifa wasn't sure if that was supposed to be funny or not. Oh well. The crowd slowly died out as people eventually left. Cid and Vincent started to help Tifa put the chairs upside-down onto the tables while Aeris cleaned up behind the bar. Tifa paused for a moment after she turned over the last chair. She loved this place, no matter how run-down it was. It had some sort of nostalgic feel to it, almost like a part of history. Tifa shook away the thought of that. A crappy bar with bad wood-flooring isn't likely to be a part of history. But still…she got that feel from it. Most probably because this was where she spent most of her years becoming a woman. Then again, most of her woman-hood spent in this bar was avoiding guys who tried to look up her skirt or down her tank top.
Perverts, they act like they've never seen tits before. She thought angrily. Oh well, that was a long time ago, and any guy who even glances at her top either gets his ass kicked by her or Cloud. Cid then stretched out and yawned. Tifa stopped daydreaming.
"Well, I'd better get going. It is pretty late." Cid yawned again without covering his mouth. That always bothered Tifa, when people didn't cover their mouth when they yawn. First off, it looks like the person is retarded, she would think.
"Me too. Aeris, need a ride?" Vincent asked. Aeris nodded happily and hopped over the bar table.
"G'night Tif. Get some sleep, sexy." Cid teased. Tifa grinned and said,
"Get out before I make sure you dick goes out that door dismembered. Good night." Cid grinned slyly and went out through the bar doors. Vincent and Aeris said goodnight as well, and then they left through the doors. Tifa sighed and looked at the cracked floor for a moment.
"…And then there was one." She joked to herself as she climbed the stairs to her room. Cloud slept in the room next to her, although sometimes he would come in to "visit" or just sleep next to her. She then thought about how often she and Cloud made love, and realized it wasn't a whole lot. That didn't bother her either, she wasn't the nymphomaniac type, like some of the women she knew. Whenever Tifa would go out with some of the girls from the bar to go shopping or something , they would always be talking about who they screwed and who sucked what while Tifa would be eyeing up a cute pair of boots that were on sale. Come to think of it, she never really talked that much at all, at least, on those subjects. Tifa isn't the type where she believe that size matters. She had always wanted a romantic relationship, and every now and then she wouldn't mind a few hours of passion inbetween it. But knowing every male in this entire complex, it was always boobies, boobies, boobies; ass, ass, ass. Cloud was sort of an exception. Aside from being a little too horny, Tifa thought he could be sweet at times. She really didn't see a relationship being able to form between them, since he was still partially in love with Aeris. They flirt all the time. But apparently in this day and age, if you fucked someone, you're in a relationship with that someone. She would even wonder why she called him a boyfriend. They just kind of screwed around. Once in her room, Tifa took of the little scrunchie she had towards the bottom of her long hair, and threw it on her dresser. She was a little messy. She flicked her hair twice in opposite directions, letting all her thick locks of coco brown hair fall everywhere as she sat on her bed. She turned to look in the mirror on her dresser. She liked having her hair untouched or unbinded. It was just too much to handle because it got in the way. She slipped off her gloves and boots and nearly tore off her socks, falling off her bed in the process. Tifa giggled a little as she got back up.
"Well, that was kinda stupid." She said to no one. She then stood up and stretched out as far as she possibly could, exhaling sharply after releasing the stretch. She stood in front of her mirror as she took of her shirt and miniskirt and tossed it on the floor. She then looked herself over. The bra she was wearing was a few sizes too small.
Goddammit, I like grow every five seconds! I hate boobs! I'll have to get some bigger sizes tomorrow. She thought angrily to herself. Oh well. There wasn't really anything she could do. She looked down at her endowments. Hundreds of women came up to her telling how jealous they were of her bust. Tifa frankly didn't give a damn, she'd prefer to be flat like a table, for chrissake. She then also started looking her butt over, and was thoroughly pleased. Most women always think their butt is too big, but Tifa would work out those muscles to get a perfectly-shaped ass. And to be honest, she did. Tifa never thought her butt was big- ever. She always believed she had a perfect ass. A slight pain came to her left breast from the tight bra. She looked down at them again. All in all, the buggers do help her get some attention. With a wink, a jiggle, and a swish of her hips she could make any guy do anything she wanted them to.
Well, they may be a pain, but I can still work it! She thought as pumped her hip to the side. She started to laugh softly after watching her self do that in the mirror. She looked ridiculous. Although, some jerk would have most probably been turned on by that. Tifa stopped laughing and frowned slightly as she noticed her scar. She ran a finger along it slowly. The scar went from right above her right breast, diagonaly down and tucked under her left breast, all the way down past her left rib. She stopped suddenly and looked around. She felt like…she was being watched. Tifa would always get an odd feeling if someone was watching her. She then heard slight breathing.
"What the…hell?" She said as she strained to listen. She noticed that it was coming from her clothes pile near the door…wait…she never made that clothes pile. As she neared it closer, she saw a red bandana on top of the pile…The same…red bandana…that-
"WEDGE!!!!" Tifa screamed at the top of her lungs. The portly little guy jumped out of the pile, and made a break for it. Tifa stopped him by round-house kicking him into the wall. She kept her foot on his throat, putting more pressure on it by the second. Tifa was PISSED. Wedge grinned and laughed nervously as he started to sweat.
"Heh heh, Tifa! Fancy meeting you here, heh…" He said, voice shaking. Tifa pressed her foot against his throat hard.
"WHY are YOU in MY ROOM?!?" Tifa demanded. She was in her complete panties at the moment, but she didn't care. She was ready to kill Wedge.
"Oh, I uh, just came in for a sec, and I uh, tripped over this pile here, and uh- gak!" Wedge started but Tifa pressed harder.
"You wouldn't have been SPYING on me Wedge, would you? Because that would make you a PEEPING TOM. And you KNOW I HATE peeping toms…" Tifa growled through her teeth. Wedge shook his head violently. He struggled for a moment, and then broke free by poking Tifa right in her cooch. After all, she did have her legs spread quite a bit. One for balance and the other crushing his throat. Tifa let out a shriek and chased after him a bit down the hall. Tifa suddenly felt how cold it was. It was relatively warm in her room, but the hallways were freezing. As Wedge skipped down the stairs and got away, Tifa's nips became rock hard.
"CHRIST, it's cold!" She said as hobbled back to her room, jumping up and down like and idiot. Since no one was around, she was rubbing her arms madly to try and gain feeling back. She was also rubbing her breasts like a madwoman. As she rounded the corner to her room, she was massaging her nipples to gain feeling and less pain. She froze after rounding it. Standing at the door across from her room, staring at her like she was nuts, was Biggs. He was in his bathrobe.
"Uh…hi Tif?" He said. She suddenly realized that she had one foot in the air still, and she still had her hands on her nipples. Tifa jumped a little and stood up straight. She then realized her nips were showing quite well. Tifa quickly folded her arms over them to cover them up.
"Yea, uh, hi Biggs." She said, trying to sound as casual as she possibly could in this humiliating situation.
"I was just, uhm, going to the bathroom." He said, still staring at her like she was crazy. Tifa nodded. He opened the door to his room.
"Uh…good nip- uh- night!." Biggs said nervously.
"Good night!" Tifa squeaked. He closed the door. Tifa heard him mutter,
"Crazy bitches with their masturbation techniques…" Tifa turned red immediately. Boy, that looked good. She thought. There she was, in a bra two sizes too small, nipples as hard as rock, jumping up and down like an idiot, bouncing all over the place, and all the while, she was massaging her nipples. Great. Tifa had never been so humiliated in her life. She rushed into her room, throwing on PJ pants and a t-shirt, and jumped into bed, turning out the light on the way. She made the decision that night that she was going to hurt Wedge.
In the worst possible way that is ever possible.
Actually, better yet-
She was going to kill him.