Voldie Goes to Mordor
By: The Uruk-hai Hotties
Well, this is the last chapter I'm typing before we go to… you'll never guess where. FLORIDA!!! Wow, how'd you know? And I probably won't even finish it as I only have 15 minutes left of work. Woo-hoo! Go me!
Part 23
By: Angua27, the return of Maw, and Angua27 otra vez.
Voldie: Hey guys! I have great news!
Pippin: Ooh! Do tell!
Voldie: I was just about to do that. They've cancelled all our hotel reservations!
Legolas: And that's good because…? I don't think I can stand sleeping outside again. It's so unhygienic, especially around the incredibly grimy Fellowship.
Aragorn: Hey! You were the one that brought the inflatable mattress and wouldn't let us move on until you'd taken a bath. We would have had the ring destroyed in a week without you.
Voldie: You're not letting me finish! We were upgraded to a five-star hotel! (a/n This actually happened and the hotel is just like I describe it!)
Ron: Woo hoo! Wicked!
Voldie: They have movies and Playstations and a spa and it's connected to the largest shopping mall in Florida!
Legolas: *faints*
Harry: I think he's happy.
Gimli: Maybe he won't leave the hotel now. Yay!
Frodo: Yay! Go Voldie! The Fellowship is in debt to you.
*
Voldie: Yes, and the hotel has an outdoor pool.
Harry: A pool?
Paw: Are you deaf or somethin'?! The man said a pool…
Harry: Sorry…
Paw G.: Paw, we be goin' to Florida!
Paw: Well, everyone must be deaf around here today! Of course we're going to Florida. Where have you been man?
Paw G: Your voice changed Paw! Are you goin' Git-toe on me?!
Paw: I always was git-toe dawgie-dawg.
Voldie: Excuse me, but that was very rude to interrupt. We were doing fine until you and your ridiculous accents entered the scene.
Paw: Yeah, homie, well blame it on ya narr-ate-her.
Narrator: *raises hands innocently* What?!
Voldie: *shakes head in hands* Anyway, there's cable TV in every room, Web TV, movies…
(a/n I have to go. See you when I get back from FLORIDA!!!!)
(a/n *ahem* I'm back! It was great fun! We even met a Random British Guy who will later be a character. Now, where was I?)
Legolas: *body pales to color of corpse*
Ron: Wicked!
Paw G.: Hot dog!
Voldie: Yes, yes, I know! Now, who's car are we taking?
*silence except for crickets chirping*
Sam: Um, I forgot to tell you… I don't think we have any accessible means of transportation.
Voldie: What?! Not even a horse?!
Pippin: Nope. But maybe if I sell a pint…
Maw: *running in with Death's scythe* Mwhahahahaha!
Death: WILL SOMEONE PLEASE MAKE HER GIVE ME MY SCYTHE BACK?
Maw: Mwhahahahaha! *begins riding scythe like witch's broom and flies*
Death: *blinks* I DIDN'T KNOW IT COULD DO THAT.
Voldie: That's our ticket! Quick, someone grab her!
*
Hagrid: Gosh dern it! I slit me hand open. That thing's sharp.
Voldie: Well, there she goes. Looks like we still don't have a ride.
Death: GUESS I'M OFF TO THE UNEMPLOYMENT OFFICE.
Ron: Hey Paw G! Don't you have a car?
Paw G.: Er… Um, you can't have it. It's not that I don't trust you guys though. Honest! *sarcasm, sarcasm*
Voldie: So what are we supposed to do? It's not like we can fit everyone on Harry's Firebolt.
Harry: I don't think all of Britain has enough broomsticks. Our cast just keeps on growing.
Random Beach Umbrella: Yup! And you know I have to come too. Couldn't go to Florida without a Random Beach Umbrella.
Hugo Bracegirdle: Yes. I think we could.
Voldie: Well, it looks like we have one solution and one solution only.
Hermione: Rent a car? Buy an airplane ticket? Walk? Apparate? Take a cruise ship? Use a portkey? Floo powder?
Voldie: Of course not! Those are stupid ideas and much too complicated. No we must… *cue scary music* hitchhike.
Sam: What?! You never know what kind of weirdos could show up!
Maw: Mwahahahahahaha! *swoops over everyone*
Everyone except Boromir: *ducks*
Boromir's head: Oh, shit.
Voldie: I think even a drunken truck driver is safer than here.
Legolas: I'm ready!
Arwen: You packed more than me. Hey! Is that my new Coach purse? Leggy! You steal everything from me.
Legolas: I do not you grimy-man lover! I just borrowed it.
Arwen: Grimy-man lover? Look who's talking. I know all about you and Aragorn.
Aragorn: You do? I mean… nonsense!
Legolas: Er, I think I'll make sure I packed everything. Bye!
Aragorn: Hey, wait! You can't leave me here! Come back!
*
By: The Uruk-hai Hotties
Well, this is the last chapter I'm typing before we go to… you'll never guess where. FLORIDA!!! Wow, how'd you know? And I probably won't even finish it as I only have 15 minutes left of work. Woo-hoo! Go me!
Part 23
By: Angua27, the return of Maw, and Angua27 otra vez.
Voldie: Hey guys! I have great news!
Pippin: Ooh! Do tell!
Voldie: I was just about to do that. They've cancelled all our hotel reservations!
Legolas: And that's good because…? I don't think I can stand sleeping outside again. It's so unhygienic, especially around the incredibly grimy Fellowship.
Aragorn: Hey! You were the one that brought the inflatable mattress and wouldn't let us move on until you'd taken a bath. We would have had the ring destroyed in a week without you.
Voldie: You're not letting me finish! We were upgraded to a five-star hotel! (a/n This actually happened and the hotel is just like I describe it!)
Ron: Woo hoo! Wicked!
Voldie: They have movies and Playstations and a spa and it's connected to the largest shopping mall in Florida!
Legolas: *faints*
Harry: I think he's happy.
Gimli: Maybe he won't leave the hotel now. Yay!
Frodo: Yay! Go Voldie! The Fellowship is in debt to you.
*
Voldie: Yes, and the hotel has an outdoor pool.
Harry: A pool?
Paw: Are you deaf or somethin'?! The man said a pool…
Harry: Sorry…
Paw G.: Paw, we be goin' to Florida!
Paw: Well, everyone must be deaf around here today! Of course we're going to Florida. Where have you been man?
Paw G: Your voice changed Paw! Are you goin' Git-toe on me?!
Paw: I always was git-toe dawgie-dawg.
Voldie: Excuse me, but that was very rude to interrupt. We were doing fine until you and your ridiculous accents entered the scene.
Paw: Yeah, homie, well blame it on ya narr-ate-her.
Narrator: *raises hands innocently* What?!
Voldie: *shakes head in hands* Anyway, there's cable TV in every room, Web TV, movies…
(a/n I have to go. See you when I get back from FLORIDA!!!!)
(a/n *ahem* I'm back! It was great fun! We even met a Random British Guy who will later be a character. Now, where was I?)
Legolas: *body pales to color of corpse*
Ron: Wicked!
Paw G.: Hot dog!
Voldie: Yes, yes, I know! Now, who's car are we taking?
*silence except for crickets chirping*
Sam: Um, I forgot to tell you… I don't think we have any accessible means of transportation.
Voldie: What?! Not even a horse?!
Pippin: Nope. But maybe if I sell a pint…
Maw: *running in with Death's scythe* Mwhahahahaha!
Death: WILL SOMEONE PLEASE MAKE HER GIVE ME MY SCYTHE BACK?
Maw: Mwhahahahaha! *begins riding scythe like witch's broom and flies*
Death: *blinks* I DIDN'T KNOW IT COULD DO THAT.
Voldie: That's our ticket! Quick, someone grab her!
*
Hagrid: Gosh dern it! I slit me hand open. That thing's sharp.
Voldie: Well, there she goes. Looks like we still don't have a ride.
Death: GUESS I'M OFF TO THE UNEMPLOYMENT OFFICE.
Ron: Hey Paw G! Don't you have a car?
Paw G.: Er… Um, you can't have it. It's not that I don't trust you guys though. Honest! *sarcasm, sarcasm*
Voldie: So what are we supposed to do? It's not like we can fit everyone on Harry's Firebolt.
Harry: I don't think all of Britain has enough broomsticks. Our cast just keeps on growing.
Random Beach Umbrella: Yup! And you know I have to come too. Couldn't go to Florida without a Random Beach Umbrella.
Hugo Bracegirdle: Yes. I think we could.
Voldie: Well, it looks like we have one solution and one solution only.
Hermione: Rent a car? Buy an airplane ticket? Walk? Apparate? Take a cruise ship? Use a portkey? Floo powder?
Voldie: Of course not! Those are stupid ideas and much too complicated. No we must… *cue scary music* hitchhike.
Sam: What?! You never know what kind of weirdos could show up!
Maw: Mwahahahahahaha! *swoops over everyone*
Everyone except Boromir: *ducks*
Boromir's head: Oh, shit.
Voldie: I think even a drunken truck driver is safer than here.
Legolas: I'm ready!
Arwen: You packed more than me. Hey! Is that my new Coach purse? Leggy! You steal everything from me.
Legolas: I do not you grimy-man lover! I just borrowed it.
Arwen: Grimy-man lover? Look who's talking. I know all about you and Aragorn.
Aragorn: You do? I mean… nonsense!
Legolas: Er, I think I'll make sure I packed everything. Bye!
Aragorn: Hey, wait! You can't leave me here! Come back!
*