Voldie Goes to Mordor
By: The Uruk-hai Hotties
So, what's up? It's kind of an icky rainy day today, but it's still warm. How nice! We were still in Florida when we wrote this part and it's true! Well, the part about the hotel is true. Paw Greenleaf got a catalogue in the mail and it has all kinds of cool Lotr stuff in it. Unfortunately, most of it is beyond my budget, especially with college coming up. Grrr… And I really wanted the One Ring. Either that or the leaf cloak clasp. Actually, I just want a cloak. Or an elvish outfit. Doesn't Legolas's velvet thingy look so comfy? I want it! I also want Frodo! Gimme! Gimme! Gimme!
Part 26
By: Paw, She-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named, Paw again, Angua27 and Paw yet another time.
Pippin: Good, I can get a pint then.
Voldie: Ah! I'm afraid of the rabbit!
Boromir: Oh, no! I lost my arm!
Merry: Can I get a Happy meal?
Ron: What's a Happy Meal? What kinda spell do you use to make a meal happy?
Hermione: Honestly…
Random Greasy-Spoon Restaurant Cashier, Person, Thing, um, yeah: Welcome to McArby King, can I take your order?
Pippin: Can I have a pint?
RGSRCPTUY: No!
*
Random Member of the CCKCCCCCCCKCCK (anti- China, rice, Kentucky, cockroaches, Californians, conditioner, Mickey mouse, hicks, and church) (a/n they don't actually say anything I guess, they just exist. We hate these things because they have c's or k's in them. Don't even bother asking why. We walked around Universal for 13 hours and had to get up at 6. That's reason enough)
Legolas: Don't join that, they're against conditioner!
Random Member of the CCKCCCCCCCKCCK: So?
Legolas: But what if you get split ends? And using a standard conditioner after washing will keep your hair shiny and healthy.
Random Member of the CCKCCCCCCCKCCK: Really? I didn't know that.
Legolas: Yes, as a matter of fact our products can provide you with a variety of conditioners that will better suit your hair type.
Random Member of the CCKCCCCCCCKCCK: Wow! I think I'll quit this stupid club and start using conditioner!
Legolas: Yeah!
*
Voldie: Hey look yonder! It's Florida!
Bull Dog Puppy: I reckon it be and over there is a purty spiffy Holiday Inn.
Legolas: Eww! I wanna go to that there 5-star hotel I read about in my Elf Vogue magazine.
Frodo: The Holiday Inn is just fine and besides I don't trust your magazines.
Legolas: I WANT MY HOTEL!!! *throws tantrum*
Frodo: Okay, okay, let's see if they have rooms available.
Voldie: Hey guys, how do I look in my new swim trunks.
Ron: I thought I was pale, but your skin is just wrong!
Voldie: It's a disadvantage to being a Dark Lord.
Random Pencil: I don't need trunks, but I can rot. Wanna see?
Ron: No!
Shifty Character: Elsewhere…
Harry: why do we have to wait for our rooms?
Aragorn: I dunno. But I shall ask.
Random Desk Clerk: May I help you?
Aragorn: Yes, I'd like to get a room.
Random Desk Clerk: Well, you will have to wait with the rest of these people.
Aragorn: How long have they been waiting?
Random Desk Clerk: Well that couple over there were in their 20s when they first came here.
Aragorn: Humph! I am Aragorn, son of Arathorn, Elessar, leader of the Dunedain, bearer of the sword that was broken, in the line of Isildur, *fifteen minutes later* Husband of Arwen Evenstar, King of Gondor, and I am a male model on the side.
Random Desk Clerk: Yeah, and I'm to pope. Go sit over by those chairs.
*
Aragorn: Well, harrumph! How dare he treat I, Estel, Strider…
Legolas: Please don't even start. We can only have that list once per chapter. Besides, I'm sure it'll be worth the wait to stay in a place like this.
Harry: Easy for you to say! You're immortal. I've only got a few years and I'm not going to waste them in this stupid waiting room.
Frodo: Well it doesn't look like we'll have to wait that long, here comes a desk clerk.
Random Desk Clerk: We've found you a room.
Legolas: See! I told you! Where is it?
Random Desk Clerk: See those doors over there?
Aragorn: Yup.
Random Desk Clerk: That's your room.
Aragorn: But it's the elevator!
Random Desk Clerk: Unfortunately, we have no room for you anywhere else.
Voldie: We have, like, sixty-five people. There's no way we can fit into an elevator.
Random Desk clerk: You can use all four. The other guests can just squish in, they don't really need to use them anyway. And we'll give you all the free water you want.
Pippin: It comes in pints?
Random Desk Clerk: Yup.
Pippin: I'm getting one!
Angua27: I really wouldn't advise that.
Pippin: Ew! It tastes like sewage water!
Angua27: Told ya.
*
Legolas: Hey this fire alarm thing is cool looking. I think I'll take it as a souvenir.
Sam: But it says "Don't take the fire alarm down".
Legolas: But it's so cool! I so need it to match my room!
Frodo: I see dead people! (a/n Can you tell we were watching The Sixth Sense?)
Sam: Take your ring off and they'll go away.
Frodo: So cold. Help!
Sam: Take your feet out of the ice bucket, Mister Frodo.
Frodo: Oh. That would make sense.
Legolas: This sewage water is terrible on my hair. I think they used the pool water for their plumbing.
Random Orc: I'm a hottie!
Merry: Isn't this a five star hotel?
Pippin: No. There aren't five stars here in the hotel.
Merry: But people keep on saying that it's a five star hotel.
Pippin: I guess five stars sounds better than one star.
Arwen: I'm an Evenstar.
Random Narrator: Yes, you are.
Varda: I invented stars.
Random Fact: The sun is a star.
Random Star: I am soooo hot.
Superstar: I am so hot also.
Random Orc: But I am still a hottie.
Super Nova: Dude, I am hot also.
Shifty Character: Back to the story line…
Random Star: But I don't wanna leave.
Shifty Character: Dude, you are hot, but, dude, you are just too random.
Random Star: Okay.
**
By: The Uruk-hai Hotties
So, what's up? It's kind of an icky rainy day today, but it's still warm. How nice! We were still in Florida when we wrote this part and it's true! Well, the part about the hotel is true. Paw Greenleaf got a catalogue in the mail and it has all kinds of cool Lotr stuff in it. Unfortunately, most of it is beyond my budget, especially with college coming up. Grrr… And I really wanted the One Ring. Either that or the leaf cloak clasp. Actually, I just want a cloak. Or an elvish outfit. Doesn't Legolas's velvet thingy look so comfy? I want it! I also want Frodo! Gimme! Gimme! Gimme!
Part 26
By: Paw, She-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named, Paw again, Angua27 and Paw yet another time.
Pippin: Good, I can get a pint then.
Voldie: Ah! I'm afraid of the rabbit!
Boromir: Oh, no! I lost my arm!
Merry: Can I get a Happy meal?
Ron: What's a Happy Meal? What kinda spell do you use to make a meal happy?
Hermione: Honestly…
Random Greasy-Spoon Restaurant Cashier, Person, Thing, um, yeah: Welcome to McArby King, can I take your order?
Pippin: Can I have a pint?
RGSRCPTUY: No!
*
Random Member of the CCKCCCCCCCKCCK (anti- China, rice, Kentucky, cockroaches, Californians, conditioner, Mickey mouse, hicks, and church) (a/n they don't actually say anything I guess, they just exist. We hate these things because they have c's or k's in them. Don't even bother asking why. We walked around Universal for 13 hours and had to get up at 6. That's reason enough)
Legolas: Don't join that, they're against conditioner!
Random Member of the CCKCCCCCCCKCCK: So?
Legolas: But what if you get split ends? And using a standard conditioner after washing will keep your hair shiny and healthy.
Random Member of the CCKCCCCCCCKCCK: Really? I didn't know that.
Legolas: Yes, as a matter of fact our products can provide you with a variety of conditioners that will better suit your hair type.
Random Member of the CCKCCCCCCCKCCK: Wow! I think I'll quit this stupid club and start using conditioner!
Legolas: Yeah!
*
Voldie: Hey look yonder! It's Florida!
Bull Dog Puppy: I reckon it be and over there is a purty spiffy Holiday Inn.
Legolas: Eww! I wanna go to that there 5-star hotel I read about in my Elf Vogue magazine.
Frodo: The Holiday Inn is just fine and besides I don't trust your magazines.
Legolas: I WANT MY HOTEL!!! *throws tantrum*
Frodo: Okay, okay, let's see if they have rooms available.
Voldie: Hey guys, how do I look in my new swim trunks.
Ron: I thought I was pale, but your skin is just wrong!
Voldie: It's a disadvantage to being a Dark Lord.
Random Pencil: I don't need trunks, but I can rot. Wanna see?
Ron: No!
Shifty Character: Elsewhere…
Harry: why do we have to wait for our rooms?
Aragorn: I dunno. But I shall ask.
Random Desk Clerk: May I help you?
Aragorn: Yes, I'd like to get a room.
Random Desk Clerk: Well, you will have to wait with the rest of these people.
Aragorn: How long have they been waiting?
Random Desk Clerk: Well that couple over there were in their 20s when they first came here.
Aragorn: Humph! I am Aragorn, son of Arathorn, Elessar, leader of the Dunedain, bearer of the sword that was broken, in the line of Isildur, *fifteen minutes later* Husband of Arwen Evenstar, King of Gondor, and I am a male model on the side.
Random Desk Clerk: Yeah, and I'm to pope. Go sit over by those chairs.
*
Aragorn: Well, harrumph! How dare he treat I, Estel, Strider…
Legolas: Please don't even start. We can only have that list once per chapter. Besides, I'm sure it'll be worth the wait to stay in a place like this.
Harry: Easy for you to say! You're immortal. I've only got a few years and I'm not going to waste them in this stupid waiting room.
Frodo: Well it doesn't look like we'll have to wait that long, here comes a desk clerk.
Random Desk Clerk: We've found you a room.
Legolas: See! I told you! Where is it?
Random Desk Clerk: See those doors over there?
Aragorn: Yup.
Random Desk Clerk: That's your room.
Aragorn: But it's the elevator!
Random Desk Clerk: Unfortunately, we have no room for you anywhere else.
Voldie: We have, like, sixty-five people. There's no way we can fit into an elevator.
Random Desk clerk: You can use all four. The other guests can just squish in, they don't really need to use them anyway. And we'll give you all the free water you want.
Pippin: It comes in pints?
Random Desk Clerk: Yup.
Pippin: I'm getting one!
Angua27: I really wouldn't advise that.
Pippin: Ew! It tastes like sewage water!
Angua27: Told ya.
*
Legolas: Hey this fire alarm thing is cool looking. I think I'll take it as a souvenir.
Sam: But it says "Don't take the fire alarm down".
Legolas: But it's so cool! I so need it to match my room!
Frodo: I see dead people! (a/n Can you tell we were watching The Sixth Sense?)
Sam: Take your ring off and they'll go away.
Frodo: So cold. Help!
Sam: Take your feet out of the ice bucket, Mister Frodo.
Frodo: Oh. That would make sense.
Legolas: This sewage water is terrible on my hair. I think they used the pool water for their plumbing.
Random Orc: I'm a hottie!
Merry: Isn't this a five star hotel?
Pippin: No. There aren't five stars here in the hotel.
Merry: But people keep on saying that it's a five star hotel.
Pippin: I guess five stars sounds better than one star.
Arwen: I'm an Evenstar.
Random Narrator: Yes, you are.
Varda: I invented stars.
Random Fact: The sun is a star.
Random Star: I am soooo hot.
Superstar: I am so hot also.
Random Orc: But I am still a hottie.
Super Nova: Dude, I am hot also.
Shifty Character: Back to the story line…
Random Star: But I don't wanna leave.
Shifty Character: Dude, you are hot, but, dude, you are just too random.
Random Star: Okay.
**