Voldie Goes to Mordor
By: The Uruk-hai Hotties
I don't have much to babble about (except how cute Pippin looks when he first sees the ent. Aw!) so we're just movin' on. Keep in mind that Maw doesn't read Lotr/HP and she didn't see the movie until yesterday so forgive her for inaccuracies.
Part 27
By: Maw, Angua27, and Paw G.
Band Director: Okay everyone on the bus. *group stuffs themselves back on the bus in an exhausted, trance-like silence*
Death: I SEE DEAD PEOPLE.
Pippin: Gasp! Does that mean I'm dead? No! I'll never enjoy another pint again! *starts to cry*
Death: YOU'RE NOT DEAD.
Pippin: *suddenly stops bawling* But I though you said you see dead people.
Death: I DO.
Pippin: Then I must be dead!
Death: I SEE LIVING PEOPLE TOO.
Pippin: Then why the heck am I talking to you?! Samwise, grab me a pint!
Samwise: Grab it yourself.
Legolas: *looks at Death with starry eyes* You really see dead people?
Death: *pauses* YES…
Legolas: Well, um, do you see my mom? *whispering* It's kind of important.
Death: *looks at the elf and begins scanning the area behind him* WHY, YES. SHE'S STANDING BEHIND YOU. (a/n Hmmm… Legolas's mom is dead? But she's an elf! Read, Maw.)
Legolas: *whirls around* Mom! I have so much I – Hey! I don't see her!
Death: WELL SHE SAYS SHE CAN SEE YOU. WHE ALSO SAYS YOUR HAIR LOOKS LIKE CRAP.
Legolas: *lip trembles* I'm sorry mommy, *pleading to the air now in front of him* but the Florida sewage water is completely wrecking it! There's nothing I can do!
Death: LIAR.
Legolas: *blinks* What?
Death: SHE CALLED YOU A LIAR. SHE SAYS YOU COULD HAVE BOUGHT AND USED BOTTLED WATER.
Legolas: But Mum, I don't have any money!!
Death: WHY NOT?
Legolas: Because I spent it all on shopping for myself.
Death: AND YOU DIDN'T BUY ME ANYTHING?
Legolas: Well, mum, you're, um, dead.
Death: AND WHAT IS THAT SUPPOSED TO MEAN?! JUST BECAUSE I'M DEAD DOESN'T MEAN I WOULDN'T ENJOY A CHANGE IN WARDROBE EVERY NOW AND THEN!
Legolas: *clutching Death's robes* I'm so sorry mum! *crying* Will you ever forgive me?
Death: *coughs* UM, OKAY, I FORGIVE YOU.
Legolas: *hugs Death* Oh, thank you, Mum! Thank you! I knew you love me.
Death *eyes (a/n or rather two blue points of infinity in his empty eye sockets) widen* UM, YOU ASKED FOR MY FORGIVENESS BUT YOUR MUM IS STILL, AH, UNFORGIVING.
Legolas: No! Mum!
Pippin: Ah! There's my pint!
Shifty Character: Sorry, but things were getting pretty weird.
Voldie: Look out the window everyone! Universal Studios!
Harry: Well it's about time.
Ron: Whoa. It looks so wicked!
Voldie: Yes, yes, I know.
Hagrid: You're a wizard Harry.
Harry: Yes, yes, I know! I don't know why it's so bloody important for you to keep saying that so do me a favour and shut your mouth!!!!
Hagrid: That's disrespectful…
Harry: Just be quiet. I haven't gotten on a ride yet and I'm already in a bad mood.
Ron: That was a WICKED tantrum Harry.
Voldie: You seemed quite out of line, young man!
Harry: Quit patronizing me!! Forget all of you! I'm going to go rid on that E.T. thing.
Ron: That sounds WICKED! I want to go too!
Harry: No! I'm going by myself. *walks away*
All: *remain in silence for one moment*
Voldie: To the E.T. Ride!
All: E. T.!!!
*
E.T: E.T. nach Hause telefonieren!
Lotte: Ooh! Ooh! Er spricht Deutsch!
Harry: How wonderful for him. Let's get on the ride.
Frodo: Wow, these aliens look like they've been into the Old Toby.
Legolas: Purty colors…
Voldie: We soooo have to get off here. Who's idea was this anyway?
Sam: *twiddles thumbs guiltily*
*
Paw G.: OK, people lets go to Twister.
Voldie: Yay! Me just love tornadoes.
Everyone: *watching the show*
Merry: AAAAHHHH! BIG-SCARY-WEIRD-TORNADO!
Maw: Yeee-haw! This here's fun! OOO! Look yonder at that thar fire!
Paw: Oh good. It's over.
Ron: Now let's go on Earthquake! I hear it's simply WICKED!
Everyone: *go on Earthquake*
Harry: Oky, that was dumb.
Legolas; Yeah, really! My hair got messed up! Look! That strand is out of place!
Dumbledore; It was OK.
Pippin: I'm hungry. I want a pint!
Frodo: Let's go watch the parade first.
Everyone: *screaming* Gimme beads! We want beads!
*after parade*
Maw: I got more than you Paw.
Paw G: Hush up, Maw.
Maw: HOW-DY!
Pippin: Can I please get my pint now!
Hermione: Oh look! The parade's coming down another street! Let's go people!
Everyone: *get more beads*
Pippin: If I don't get my pint soon, I'm gonna SCREAM!
Prof. Flitwick: Ok, ok, calm down!
Paw G: That pizza restaurant smells good.
Angua: Let's go there!
*everybody walks in*
People in Restaurant: *stare at some of the non-human characters, then continue eating*
Random British Family: Hello! Would you like to trade beads?
Voldie: Sure!
Saruman: Anyone got a blue one?
Paw G: *trades with Random British Guy* So, do you say WICKED in England? (a/n Paw G. actually did ask a random British guy is they say "wicked in England. He said the younger kids do, but we got him to say it too.)
Ron: I do!
Paw G: I wasn't talking to you.
Random British Family: Yeah, we do.
Paw G.: I want to go to England.
**
By: The Uruk-hai Hotties
I don't have much to babble about (except how cute Pippin looks when he first sees the ent. Aw!) so we're just movin' on. Keep in mind that Maw doesn't read Lotr/HP and she didn't see the movie until yesterday so forgive her for inaccuracies.
Part 27
By: Maw, Angua27, and Paw G.
Band Director: Okay everyone on the bus. *group stuffs themselves back on the bus in an exhausted, trance-like silence*
Death: I SEE DEAD PEOPLE.
Pippin: Gasp! Does that mean I'm dead? No! I'll never enjoy another pint again! *starts to cry*
Death: YOU'RE NOT DEAD.
Pippin: *suddenly stops bawling* But I though you said you see dead people.
Death: I DO.
Pippin: Then I must be dead!
Death: I SEE LIVING PEOPLE TOO.
Pippin: Then why the heck am I talking to you?! Samwise, grab me a pint!
Samwise: Grab it yourself.
Legolas: *looks at Death with starry eyes* You really see dead people?
Death: *pauses* YES…
Legolas: Well, um, do you see my mom? *whispering* It's kind of important.
Death: *looks at the elf and begins scanning the area behind him* WHY, YES. SHE'S STANDING BEHIND YOU. (a/n Hmmm… Legolas's mom is dead? But she's an elf! Read, Maw.)
Legolas: *whirls around* Mom! I have so much I – Hey! I don't see her!
Death: WELL SHE SAYS SHE CAN SEE YOU. WHE ALSO SAYS YOUR HAIR LOOKS LIKE CRAP.
Legolas: *lip trembles* I'm sorry mommy, *pleading to the air now in front of him* but the Florida sewage water is completely wrecking it! There's nothing I can do!
Death: LIAR.
Legolas: *blinks* What?
Death: SHE CALLED YOU A LIAR. SHE SAYS YOU COULD HAVE BOUGHT AND USED BOTTLED WATER.
Legolas: But Mum, I don't have any money!!
Death: WHY NOT?
Legolas: Because I spent it all on shopping for myself.
Death: AND YOU DIDN'T BUY ME ANYTHING?
Legolas: Well, mum, you're, um, dead.
Death: AND WHAT IS THAT SUPPOSED TO MEAN?! JUST BECAUSE I'M DEAD DOESN'T MEAN I WOULDN'T ENJOY A CHANGE IN WARDROBE EVERY NOW AND THEN!
Legolas: *clutching Death's robes* I'm so sorry mum! *crying* Will you ever forgive me?
Death: *coughs* UM, OKAY, I FORGIVE YOU.
Legolas: *hugs Death* Oh, thank you, Mum! Thank you! I knew you love me.
Death *eyes (a/n or rather two blue points of infinity in his empty eye sockets) widen* UM, YOU ASKED FOR MY FORGIVENESS BUT YOUR MUM IS STILL, AH, UNFORGIVING.
Legolas: No! Mum!
Pippin: Ah! There's my pint!
Shifty Character: Sorry, but things were getting pretty weird.
Voldie: Look out the window everyone! Universal Studios!
Harry: Well it's about time.
Ron: Whoa. It looks so wicked!
Voldie: Yes, yes, I know.
Hagrid: You're a wizard Harry.
Harry: Yes, yes, I know! I don't know why it's so bloody important for you to keep saying that so do me a favour and shut your mouth!!!!
Hagrid: That's disrespectful…
Harry: Just be quiet. I haven't gotten on a ride yet and I'm already in a bad mood.
Ron: That was a WICKED tantrum Harry.
Voldie: You seemed quite out of line, young man!
Harry: Quit patronizing me!! Forget all of you! I'm going to go rid on that E.T. thing.
Ron: That sounds WICKED! I want to go too!
Harry: No! I'm going by myself. *walks away*
All: *remain in silence for one moment*
Voldie: To the E.T. Ride!
All: E. T.!!!
*
E.T: E.T. nach Hause telefonieren!
Lotte: Ooh! Ooh! Er spricht Deutsch!
Harry: How wonderful for him. Let's get on the ride.
Frodo: Wow, these aliens look like they've been into the Old Toby.
Legolas: Purty colors…
Voldie: We soooo have to get off here. Who's idea was this anyway?
Sam: *twiddles thumbs guiltily*
*
Paw G.: OK, people lets go to Twister.
Voldie: Yay! Me just love tornadoes.
Everyone: *watching the show*
Merry: AAAAHHHH! BIG-SCARY-WEIRD-TORNADO!
Maw: Yeee-haw! This here's fun! OOO! Look yonder at that thar fire!
Paw: Oh good. It's over.
Ron: Now let's go on Earthquake! I hear it's simply WICKED!
Everyone: *go on Earthquake*
Harry: Oky, that was dumb.
Legolas; Yeah, really! My hair got messed up! Look! That strand is out of place!
Dumbledore; It was OK.
Pippin: I'm hungry. I want a pint!
Frodo: Let's go watch the parade first.
Everyone: *screaming* Gimme beads! We want beads!
*after parade*
Maw: I got more than you Paw.
Paw G: Hush up, Maw.
Maw: HOW-DY!
Pippin: Can I please get my pint now!
Hermione: Oh look! The parade's coming down another street! Let's go people!
Everyone: *get more beads*
Pippin: If I don't get my pint soon, I'm gonna SCREAM!
Prof. Flitwick: Ok, ok, calm down!
Paw G: That pizza restaurant smells good.
Angua: Let's go there!
*everybody walks in*
People in Restaurant: *stare at some of the non-human characters, then continue eating*
Random British Family: Hello! Would you like to trade beads?
Voldie: Sure!
Saruman: Anyone got a blue one?
Paw G: *trades with Random British Guy* So, do you say WICKED in England? (a/n Paw G. actually did ask a random British guy is they say "wicked in England. He said the younger kids do, but we got him to say it too.)
Ron: I do!
Paw G: I wasn't talking to you.
Random British Family: Yeah, we do.
Paw G.: I want to go to England.
**