Author's Notes: I just kinda wrote different parts to this chapter at different times of the day. Usually, for me to write a chapter I have to do it in one sitting. This chapter sort of shows why. I jump from angsty to humor to just whatever. ^^;; This chapter is a little odd to say the least. I wrote it a few days ago and then I changed a bunch of stuff to make it funnier ¬.¬ Bad humor though. This chapter is the result of eating Schuldig-flavored candy (no, I don't mean that flavor ^^;;; )

Disclaimer: These bishounen do not belong to me. *sobs* They belong to Takehito Koyasu *swoons* and Project Weiss and whoever owns them that I didn't list here. Speaking of which, I'm sure someone has written something similar to this (I mean there's like 2,681 Weiss fics on FF.net alone, like someone hasn't conceived this idea). I don't plagiarize fics. I didn't copy this from someone else's work, so if it looks similar, don't email me with a 'You %#^%$&%*-ing copycat' message or something.

Also, I want to thank Koyuki Aode (*extra glomp for you for pocky refill!*) Rinny, Shizuyoko, Rikkali, Leigh Roslyn Merquise, and Psycho-Shounen for reviewing! *glomps* Reviews mean so much to me!

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Brad's Worst Reality Chapter Four

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"Nagi-kun..." Tot whispered after the kiss ended.

Mocha brown eyes watched Nagi. Their faces were mere inches apart. Nagi felt a blush creep up on him again. No...no this was wrong... Brad would KILL him if he found out! And yet...

He leaned in again, but this time Tot stopped him from their kiss.

"Nagi-kun...I feel...something...down there..."

"Down there?" Nagi repeated, his body was pressed up against Brad's so of course he felt the erection too. He put some space in between them as he blushed again, "A-ano...it's just...um...it'll go away after awhile..."

"How?"

"Um," Nagi stood up quickly, "I-I gotta go."

He opened the bedroom door, and headed for the bathroom when a hand caught his shoulder. He jumped in surprise and turned around.

"Schuldig!"

"Hey, who you having fun with in there?" Schuldig asked.

"I don't know what you're--"

"Tch, you can't hide things from a telepath. Her thoughts were practically screaming."

"Ah..."

"Now the question I have for you is, who were you kissing?" the German smirked, "Brad or Tot?"

"...I'm not sure..."

"Just stay away from him, Nagi."

Nagi scowled, "You're just angry that you didn't get your night of sex from Brad." He said matter-of-factly.

"Hah, whatever," Schuldig clenched his fists, "I can have Brad whenever I want!"

"Sure you can."

"I don't see why his body is off limits," Schuldig whined, leaning against the wall, "His body is still intact, and it's not like HE has to go through with it."

"I don't think that's the point," Nagi said, suddenly sounding very bored.

"Like you would care. You probably wanna be in there screwing him senseless too."

"...................."

"Well I'm first, dammit!" Schuldig ran into Nagi's room where Tot was.

Nagi stayed in the hallway for a moment, listening to what would happen. There was a scream, a smacking noise, a shout of pain, then the door opened and Schuldig stepped out. His fingers lightly brushed a wound on his face.

"How come no one told me she stuffs that rabbit with rocks, rather than stuffing?" Schuldig asked, a tad of sarcasm in his voice.

"I didn't think it was an important fact you needed to know," Nagi said, rolling his eyes.

Schuldig swore under his breath and walked to the living room. Nagi leaned against the wall, glancing in his bedroom.

What exactly do I feel anyway? Nagi thought.

Inside Brad's room, the American was just barely suppressing a laugh at having Seen that one coming to Schuldig.

"I think you made god laugh today," Farfarello commented.

"Oh, just go back to slicing yourself," Schuldig replied bitterly, grabbing the remote and flipping through the TV channels.

Nagi came into the room and slumped on the couch. He should've actually been doing his homework, but he couldn't concentrate.

"Done obsessing over our favorite American?" Schuldig taunted.

"I could ask the same about you."

"Oh you know me, I never give up."

"You should get a hobby Schuldig," Farfarello commented, running the blade of his knife over his skin, "Like knife collecting, or knife cleaning, or licking knives, or finding a deity to try to kill."

Schuldig put his hand to his chin, "But isn't sex a hobby?"

"To you, maybe."

The German sighed, "I can't take this... Any of you have five minutes to spare?"

"As long as I get to handcuff you to the headboard."

"As long as I get to restrain you with my telekinesis."

Schuldig rolled his eyes, "You two are no fun. Doesn't matter. I wanted the rather elusive incredibly sexy Brad Crawford anyway. Not his lackeys."

Both Nagi and Farfarello glared at him.

"Um..."

The telepath glanced up at the voice, "What?"

Tot walked over to Schuldig, "I'm sorry for attacking you, but you scared me back there."

Schuldig blinked. This was the first time he'd heard Brad's voice say 'sorry' and the word hadn't even come from him. Sorry, huh? Schuldig decided to take advantage of this one.

"I don't know if I can forgive you," he said in a mock-saddened voice, "I mean the pain in my heart hurts more than my face..."

"Eto..."

"I think there's only one way you can make me feel better."

"How?"

Schuldig grabbed Tot's -er, Brad's- hand, "I'll show you. It's in my room."

"Schuldig..."

The German turned to see a petite girl glaring at him.

"God dammit, Brad!" Schuldig threw a mini-temper tantrum and sat back down on the couch.

"If you're so restless and horny, then why don't you just go out and find a stranger to screw?"

"Nooo," Schuldig whined, "I want yoooouu..."

"Don't long for something you can't have."

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Author's Notes: Sorry, short chapter again. Poor Schuldig. ^^;; It seems everyone's out to get a piece of Brad's body, ne? Well, 'cept Farfarello. He's a nice knife-licking psychopathic Irishman --who hurts god too! ^_^ And I know...there really isn't that much Farfarello in this story. My explanation is simple: I simply don't write him very well. Gomen ne, Farfie fans.