Title: Unfinished business: Chapter 6
Author: Nala (Nala@fanfiction.net)
Disclaimers in part 1
24 hours later
Kuwait Air force Base Hospital
Admiral's POV***
I grabbed the first transport out once I found out about Mac. How this could have happened is beyond me. I understand their confusion based on what they saw, but this is Mac. Even if they were suspicious they could have gone after her differently. I really don't even want to think of the repercussions if she doesn't survive. As it stands now Rabb will never forgive himself for shooting her in the first place, but if she dies. He won't make it through that.
I called the Secnav just before I got on the plane to let him know what was going on. I expected him to ream me for not telling him yesterday. I also expected his concern to be primarily focused on possible bad press, but he actually seemed concerned for her. I don't think Mac has any idea the effect she has on people. I've been angry as hell with her a couple of times, but she is still one of the people I respect most. She kind of gets under your skin without you knowing it. Her loyalty has always been admirable, but there is something else that amazes me about her. Through all the crap in her life and the bad choices and mistakes she has made, she never gives up. She simply picks herself back up, swallows her pride, and moves on. I know her past still haunts her, but she doesn't let it keep her from trying to do better.
I walk into the waiting room and see two extremely despondent men staring off into space. Both Rabb and Webb look exhausted, but it's the pain that haunts their eyes that really gets my attention. I got the update that she had slipped into a coma during the surgery just before I got on the plane. From what I was told I know that just one of the gunshot wounds would have been enough to threaten her life, but both of them together... I am surprised she is even alive. Grateful, but surprised. I hoped by the time I got here that she would have pulled out of it. Just looking at the two men I can tell that she hasn't. I wonder where her husband is and wonder how we are going to be able to deal with him.
I stand in front of them and clear my throat to get their attention. Rabb comes to attention immediately, but he won't meet my eyes. Webb just looks up, and then looks away.
"At ease, Rabb. Is there any news?" Right now I am barely holding back the urge to tear into both of them, but I know that won't help and they're in enough pain as it is.
"No, sir. She still hasn't pulled out of the coma. She hasn't gotten any worse, but not any better either." He is still avoiding looking at me. Smart man.
"You're both exhausted. I don't want to see you back here for at least 8 hours." Rabb starts to protest. "I will inform you immediately if there is any change, but right now I don't want to look at either one of you. Dismissed." The disgust in my voice probably makes my point better than anything I could say. Rabb simply nods and leaves as Clay carefully stays out of arms reach and follows Rabb. Part of me is still feeling guilty about letting her take the assignment and maybe I am taking it out on them a bit. I've rationalized a hundred times that she really was the best person for the job, but that has seldom soothed the pangs of my conscience.
I make my way to the nurses station and explain who I am and whom I am here to see. As I stand just inside the room, I see a man sitting next to her, holding her hand and talking to her softly in what must be Arabic. The love in his eyes and voice are unmistakable. I guess I've found her husband. As my eyes move to her still form, I am overwhelmed with how pale and lifeless she looks. There is little color to her usually olive skin and the vibrance that is Sarah Mackenzie seems to have completely left her. I'm not even sure this is the same woman that left for this mission almost 2 years ago. My mind struggles to take in the fact that she is even still alive, though barely. It wasn't until about 2 months ago that I finally believed she was really dead, and not just missing. To see her hanging on to life so precariously is hard for my mind to accept. I haven't told any of the staff about what is happening. They have been through enough already and don't need to worry one way or another until we're sure that Mac is going to pull out of this. My thoughts are interrupted as I feel her husband's gaze on me. The distrust and question as to who I am is clear in his eyes.
I am not even sure if he speaks English. At the questioning look in my eyes he introduces himself, thankfully in English.
"How do you know Amirah?"
At his question I struggle with what to say and how to tell him that the woman he loves is an American military officer. I know he has to already have an idea of that. We are on an American military base. I'm also a bit wary as to the effect this will have on him and I really don't need a confrontation with him. Sighing, I move to another chair in the room.
"The colonel, er, Amirah, was under my command when she left for this mission." His eyes darken and he looks at me apprehensively.
"So it is true. She is a spy?"
Shaking my head I struggle again with how to explain who Mac is without giving away any details he shouldn't know. "No, She's a Marine lawyer. We chose her to go undercover in Al-Farabi's home because of her skills in Farsi and Arabic."
I can see the confusion on his face. "She is a lawyer?"
"A marine lawyer."
In his silence I can tell he is trying to come to terms with the fact that the woman he loves isn't who he thinks she is. "She was not sent to spy on me?" His question is filled with anguish and I know he doubts everything that has happened between them.
"No, Jabir. She was only supposed to be at Al-Fabir's for a few months."
"But then I took her away from Al-Fabir and you did not know where she was?"
The pain I felt at her disappearance flashes through me and my voice is barely a whisper as I look over to her still form. "We thought she had been killed."
I can feel his careful consideration of what I have said. "You care for her very much?"
His underlying question is obvious. "Yes Jabir. She is very special to me. Like a daughter." His relief at my description of my feelings for Mac is apparent. His body language becomes less defensive and he sits back down next to her.
"I love her very much."
Once again the uncertainty and pain in his voice is obvious. "Jabir, from what I have heard she is very much in love with you too." His eyes still hold skepticism.
"Jabir, I know that she told one of my men that she wished she could stay here with you, instead of going back to her friends and her own country." He's still not convinced and for some unknown reason to me I really want this man to know how much she loves him. There is a basic goodness to him that is visible. I realize as well that I am grateful to him for keeping her safe even if he didn't know what he was doing. "Jabir, why would she sacrifice her life for you if she didn't love you. If she were just spying on you, she wouldn't have done that. Her love for you was too much for her to let you die."
His acceptance of what I have said visibly washes through him and he starts to sob as he holds her hand. Turning away from me he calls softly to her again. The pleading tone in his voice is enough for me to know that he is begging her to come back to him. I just hope she hears him. I really don't want to lose her all over again.
The next few hours pass with him trying to explain what happened in the year that Mac has been missing. He talked of how he had taken her from Al- Fabir and her initial distrust of him. He laughed as he told me that she hadn't said a single word to him for an entire month. That's my stubborn jarhead all right. I watched as he was transported to another world as he told me of how he had been mesmerized with her from the very beginning. He could tell she was different and even as a servant she possessed more strength, intelligence and beauty than any woman he had ever met. Given that he is a Sheik's son, I know his experience with women can't be limited. Something seemed to click in his mind as he told me of the first time she let him touch her. "She could not love me until she knew that I didn't agree with my father's attempts to purchase weapons for Al-Queida. Now I understand why it was so important to her." He sat in silence as I wondered at their relationship. Seeming to sense my questions he rushed to assure me that he never touched her until she came to him. "I would never hurt Amirah that way. Amirah doesn't seem to understand how beautiful she is, especially in her heart. She has been hurt many times in her past?" At my nod, he continued. "I could see the pain in her eyes. I thought it was for her dead husband, but it was for someone else?"
How do I answer that question? Rabb has by far hurt her the most, but there have been others. And there's her father, who although I know she has forgiven, she still carries the scars of his emotional abuse. "Mac has been hurt by most of the men in her life, in one way or another." His eyes flood with anger at the thought that anyone could be cruel to her.
"She is called Mac?"
"That is what her friends call her. Its part of her last name, but her first name is Sarah." He is hungry to know more about her and the life that she lived before he knew her.
"My Amirah is strong." He has pride in his eyes as he looks back to her. "but she is also soft and loving." As he looks back to me, his eyes are filled with fear. "You are going to take her away from me?" It seems more of a statement than a question.
I don't know how to answer that and I can't hold his gaze. "She can't stay, Jabir. She won't be safe. She has family and friends that love her and miss her. They still think she is dead."
He stares back to her again. "I cannot lose her." He ponders his next statement for several minutes before he voices it out loud. "Can I come with her? I would give up anything to be with Amirah." I know this man has just inherited billions of oil and property with his father's death, but he is ready to give it all up for Mac. I think Mac has finally made a very good choice in Jabir. I'm afraid at what will happen to either one if they are separated.
"That's not up to me, Jabir. There are so many issues to be decided. When people find out about who she is, there will be danger. For both of you. How will you deal with that?"
"I will do anything to stay with her. Anything." The resolve in his eyes gives me hope that they just might make it through this; if Mac will just wake up.
2 days later
Mac's hospital room
Admiral Chegwidden's POV***
It's been 2 days since I got here and still no sign that she will come out of this damn coma. I don't think Jabir has left her side for more than a few minutes at a time; except for after I told him about his father. His reaction is still a mystery to me. He was definitely upset, but there seemed to be an underlying relief at the news. I wonder what the full story is there. There is an unspoken but fragile truce between Jabir and Webb and Rabb. The first day that Jabir and I talked he asked about them. I tried to explain what happened, but the pain on their faces has done more to soften his hate than anything else. Webb and Rabb have mostly stayed in the waiting area. I think looking at her fragile condition is too hard for both of them, considering it's their fault. I'm mildly surprised that Webb hasn't left given his importance with the CIA, but he remains; growing more despondent by the hour. Rabb is even worse and is barely holding himself together. Mac, do you know how many lives hang in the balance with yours?
Mac's POV***
My body feels so heavy. Everything is muted and fuzzy. I am struggling to remember where I am and what happened but my mind seems completely disconnected from my body. The only sound in the room is the soft whirring of machines, but I can feel someone's presence next to me. My body jerks as I remember the sounds of the shots being fired and images of their guns pointed at Jabir. That vision is replaced by eyes looking at me; cold and accusing. Overwhelming fear tightens my chest and I struggle to breathe. I try to call out for Jabir, but something stops me and icicles of fear cut through me. I struggle trying to free myself but as I do pain explodes through my body. The intensity of it makes my skin flush and I feel my stomach churn. Where is he?!
Admiral's POV***
The frantic beeping of the machines grabs my attention and I see her body jerk. She seems to be fighting something unseen as she struggles wildly. The breathing tube keeps her from calling out and she gasps for breath, fighting the machine that has been keeping her alive. Her eyes are open but unseeing as Jabir tries to calm her. The frantic activity on the monitors brings the nurses and a doctor rushing into the room. One of them shouts that they have to stabilize her fast or they could lose her. Jabir is still calling to her franticly, trying to get through to her. Hearing the shouting, Webb and Rabb rush into the room and stare in terror as the doctor yells orders to his staff. One of the nurses pushes Jabir away and he desperately tries to reach her. Finally, he pushes the nurse out of the way and leans over to her. Pullling her face to his he calls to her again. A flash of recognition passes through her eyes and she immediately starts to relax. He strokes her face and starts talking to her softly, trying to reassure her. I watch as her heart rate slowly returns to normal and her breathing becomes less labored. The doctor waits a few minutes more and before he leaves tells Jabir that he will remove the breathing tube in a few hours once he is sure that she is stable. As Jabir gazes at her, I see his love for her reflected back to him in her own eyes. Although I can't understand a word that Jabir is saying to her, I suddenly feel as though I am intruding on what should be a private moment. I am afraid as well that once she sees Webb and Rabb she will become upset again and hurt herself. I motion to both of them to follow me out. The longing in Rabb's eyes tears at me. I know he wants to hold her and comfort her as Jabir is doing, but he lost that right a long time ago. And I'm not sure he will ever have the chance again.
Mac's POV***
I listen as Jabir explains that I have been in a coma for several days. The pain and fear in his eyes breaks my heart as he tells me that he thought he had lost me. His eyes shine with love and I am suddenly afraid because I know he will despise me once he knows who I am. My eyes tear as I think of the hate and betrayal that I know will replace the love I see.
"Amirah, why do you cry? Are you in pain?" the desperation in his voice makes my tears flow faster.
Damn it. I can't say anything with this stupid breathing tube in. I can't stand to look at him and I try to turn my face away, feeling ashamed at having deceived him. I feel his hands gently pull my face back as he begs to know what is wrong. I fight to turn away again, but he is too strong and I feel my body give into the sleep that is calling to me. As I fight the heaviness of my eyelids, the last thing I see are his tears slipping down his face.
Webb POV**** None of us have spoken a word since we left Mac's room. I can't even begin to express the relief I feel that she has woken up. The doctor seems to think that now that she has she will recover fully, but it will take a few weeks. The admiral hasn't said anything, and I know he is at a loss as to what can be done for Mac and Jabir. Rabb just sits silently, staring at the floor. I feel pity for him. He has lost Mac all over again, but this time to another man. I'm not really sure how he is going to handle it, but there are a lot of unknowns in this situation. I don't know how Mac is going to deal with being separated from Jabir. This situation couldn't be messier. With his father's death, Jabir is the sole inheritor of billions of dollars in land and oil refineries, but most of it is in Iraq. His father was an Al-Queida supporter and he is married to an American military officer. Our government is not exactly going to welcome him with open arms, unless.. No, I shouldn't even think about it. If something happened to him because I get him involved, Mac will kill me. I can't stand the silence any longer and get up to walk around. As I pass by Mac's room I hear Jabir begging her to tell him what is wrong, but she is too tired to keep her eyes open. As she slips into sleep, Jabir looks around helplessly.
"Is she ok?" My question is barely a whisper but it startles him. His eyes are at first filled with hate for me, but he seems too tired to be able to maintain the feeling. He shakes his head and slips back into the chair.
"She won't even look at me. I do not understand what is wrong."
I know this isn't any of my business, but I know Mac well enough to know that she is probably feeling guilty for deceiving him. And the love she feels for him has been obvious, so that leads me to one conclusion. "Do you think that she's afraid you'll hate her, now that you know who she is?"
The thought of hating her seems abhorrent to Jabir as he shakes his head vigorously. "I could never hate Amirah. She is my life. She is everything to me. I understand why she betrayed my father. I wish I had the courage to stop him myself. What he was doing was wrong, but I was afraid of him. Nothing but Amirah matters to me."
I consider myself a hardened spook, but his heartfelt declaration of love touches me. I decide immediately that I will do everything possible to help him come to America with Mac. She deserves some happiness, and I owe her for so many things. I am again faced with my own shame for doubting Mac and putting her in this position. Rabb may hate me for what I do now, but I know that even in his own pain he wants her to be happy. "Jabir, you need to tell Mac that you know who she is. She needs to know that you don't hate her for what she had to do, and for lying to you." He nods his understanding and I see a flicker of gratefulness pass through his eyes. As I leave the room, I feel marginally good about myself for the first time in years.
Rabb's POV****
She's going to live. I'm not sure if she will ever be able to forgive me for what I've done, but at least she is alive. The relief is bittersweet as I realize that I have found her only to lose her again. Part of me is truly happy for her. I have never seen so much peace and happiness in her eyes, as I did when she was with Jabir that night. But, I am afraid for her as well. I don't know how they are going to work out all the issues surrounding Jabir and who he is. I wonder if she will even come back and work at JAG. She certainly doesn't need to work to support herself. I know that Mac loved her job and it was never for money, but she is so different now that I don't know if she will even want to be a Marine anymore. That thought sends chills down my spine. So much of Mac is, or was, being a marine. Surely she hasn't changed that much.
I don't know what I am going to say when I see her. An apology sure as hell doesn't cut it when you doubt the woman you love and then almost kill her. The Admiral has hardly said a word to me. I can't blame him, after what I have done. I'll be lucky if he doesn't bring me up on charges.
END CHAPTER 6
I know, most everyone's sick of the Mac/Jabir stuff but I can't write it out that quickly. It would cheapen the storyline in my opinion. Chapter 7 follows immediately so that I can leave you in a slightly better place. =0)
Oh, do other authors get hate mail from their stores or am I just special that way??? =0) No, I'm not pleading for nice reviews, but I REALLY am curious about that.
Disclaimers in part 1
24 hours later
Kuwait Air force Base Hospital
Admiral's POV***
I grabbed the first transport out once I found out about Mac. How this could have happened is beyond me. I understand their confusion based on what they saw, but this is Mac. Even if they were suspicious they could have gone after her differently. I really don't even want to think of the repercussions if she doesn't survive. As it stands now Rabb will never forgive himself for shooting her in the first place, but if she dies. He won't make it through that.
I called the Secnav just before I got on the plane to let him know what was going on. I expected him to ream me for not telling him yesterday. I also expected his concern to be primarily focused on possible bad press, but he actually seemed concerned for her. I don't think Mac has any idea the effect she has on people. I've been angry as hell with her a couple of times, but she is still one of the people I respect most. She kind of gets under your skin without you knowing it. Her loyalty has always been admirable, but there is something else that amazes me about her. Through all the crap in her life and the bad choices and mistakes she has made, she never gives up. She simply picks herself back up, swallows her pride, and moves on. I know her past still haunts her, but she doesn't let it keep her from trying to do better.
I walk into the waiting room and see two extremely despondent men staring off into space. Both Rabb and Webb look exhausted, but it's the pain that haunts their eyes that really gets my attention. I got the update that she had slipped into a coma during the surgery just before I got on the plane. From what I was told I know that just one of the gunshot wounds would have been enough to threaten her life, but both of them together... I am surprised she is even alive. Grateful, but surprised. I hoped by the time I got here that she would have pulled out of it. Just looking at the two men I can tell that she hasn't. I wonder where her husband is and wonder how we are going to be able to deal with him.
I stand in front of them and clear my throat to get their attention. Rabb comes to attention immediately, but he won't meet my eyes. Webb just looks up, and then looks away.
"At ease, Rabb. Is there any news?" Right now I am barely holding back the urge to tear into both of them, but I know that won't help and they're in enough pain as it is.
"No, sir. She still hasn't pulled out of the coma. She hasn't gotten any worse, but not any better either." He is still avoiding looking at me. Smart man.
"You're both exhausted. I don't want to see you back here for at least 8 hours." Rabb starts to protest. "I will inform you immediately if there is any change, but right now I don't want to look at either one of you. Dismissed." The disgust in my voice probably makes my point better than anything I could say. Rabb simply nods and leaves as Clay carefully stays out of arms reach and follows Rabb. Part of me is still feeling guilty about letting her take the assignment and maybe I am taking it out on them a bit. I've rationalized a hundred times that she really was the best person for the job, but that has seldom soothed the pangs of my conscience.
I make my way to the nurses station and explain who I am and whom I am here to see. As I stand just inside the room, I see a man sitting next to her, holding her hand and talking to her softly in what must be Arabic. The love in his eyes and voice are unmistakable. I guess I've found her husband. As my eyes move to her still form, I am overwhelmed with how pale and lifeless she looks. There is little color to her usually olive skin and the vibrance that is Sarah Mackenzie seems to have completely left her. I'm not even sure this is the same woman that left for this mission almost 2 years ago. My mind struggles to take in the fact that she is even still alive, though barely. It wasn't until about 2 months ago that I finally believed she was really dead, and not just missing. To see her hanging on to life so precariously is hard for my mind to accept. I haven't told any of the staff about what is happening. They have been through enough already and don't need to worry one way or another until we're sure that Mac is going to pull out of this. My thoughts are interrupted as I feel her husband's gaze on me. The distrust and question as to who I am is clear in his eyes.
I am not even sure if he speaks English. At the questioning look in my eyes he introduces himself, thankfully in English.
"How do you know Amirah?"
At his question I struggle with what to say and how to tell him that the woman he loves is an American military officer. I know he has to already have an idea of that. We are on an American military base. I'm also a bit wary as to the effect this will have on him and I really don't need a confrontation with him. Sighing, I move to another chair in the room.
"The colonel, er, Amirah, was under my command when she left for this mission." His eyes darken and he looks at me apprehensively.
"So it is true. She is a spy?"
Shaking my head I struggle again with how to explain who Mac is without giving away any details he shouldn't know. "No, She's a Marine lawyer. We chose her to go undercover in Al-Farabi's home because of her skills in Farsi and Arabic."
I can see the confusion on his face. "She is a lawyer?"
"A marine lawyer."
In his silence I can tell he is trying to come to terms with the fact that the woman he loves isn't who he thinks she is. "She was not sent to spy on me?" His question is filled with anguish and I know he doubts everything that has happened between them.
"No, Jabir. She was only supposed to be at Al-Fabir's for a few months."
"But then I took her away from Al-Fabir and you did not know where she was?"
The pain I felt at her disappearance flashes through me and my voice is barely a whisper as I look over to her still form. "We thought she had been killed."
I can feel his careful consideration of what I have said. "You care for her very much?"
His underlying question is obvious. "Yes Jabir. She is very special to me. Like a daughter." His relief at my description of my feelings for Mac is apparent. His body language becomes less defensive and he sits back down next to her.
"I love her very much."
Once again the uncertainty and pain in his voice is obvious. "Jabir, from what I have heard she is very much in love with you too." His eyes still hold skepticism.
"Jabir, I know that she told one of my men that she wished she could stay here with you, instead of going back to her friends and her own country." He's still not convinced and for some unknown reason to me I really want this man to know how much she loves him. There is a basic goodness to him that is visible. I realize as well that I am grateful to him for keeping her safe even if he didn't know what he was doing. "Jabir, why would she sacrifice her life for you if she didn't love you. If she were just spying on you, she wouldn't have done that. Her love for you was too much for her to let you die."
His acceptance of what I have said visibly washes through him and he starts to sob as he holds her hand. Turning away from me he calls softly to her again. The pleading tone in his voice is enough for me to know that he is begging her to come back to him. I just hope she hears him. I really don't want to lose her all over again.
The next few hours pass with him trying to explain what happened in the year that Mac has been missing. He talked of how he had taken her from Al- Fabir and her initial distrust of him. He laughed as he told me that she hadn't said a single word to him for an entire month. That's my stubborn jarhead all right. I watched as he was transported to another world as he told me of how he had been mesmerized with her from the very beginning. He could tell she was different and even as a servant she possessed more strength, intelligence and beauty than any woman he had ever met. Given that he is a Sheik's son, I know his experience with women can't be limited. Something seemed to click in his mind as he told me of the first time she let him touch her. "She could not love me until she knew that I didn't agree with my father's attempts to purchase weapons for Al-Queida. Now I understand why it was so important to her." He sat in silence as I wondered at their relationship. Seeming to sense my questions he rushed to assure me that he never touched her until she came to him. "I would never hurt Amirah that way. Amirah doesn't seem to understand how beautiful she is, especially in her heart. She has been hurt many times in her past?" At my nod, he continued. "I could see the pain in her eyes. I thought it was for her dead husband, but it was for someone else?"
How do I answer that question? Rabb has by far hurt her the most, but there have been others. And there's her father, who although I know she has forgiven, she still carries the scars of his emotional abuse. "Mac has been hurt by most of the men in her life, in one way or another." His eyes flood with anger at the thought that anyone could be cruel to her.
"She is called Mac?"
"That is what her friends call her. Its part of her last name, but her first name is Sarah." He is hungry to know more about her and the life that she lived before he knew her.
"My Amirah is strong." He has pride in his eyes as he looks back to her. "but she is also soft and loving." As he looks back to me, his eyes are filled with fear. "You are going to take her away from me?" It seems more of a statement than a question.
I don't know how to answer that and I can't hold his gaze. "She can't stay, Jabir. She won't be safe. She has family and friends that love her and miss her. They still think she is dead."
He stares back to her again. "I cannot lose her." He ponders his next statement for several minutes before he voices it out loud. "Can I come with her? I would give up anything to be with Amirah." I know this man has just inherited billions of oil and property with his father's death, but he is ready to give it all up for Mac. I think Mac has finally made a very good choice in Jabir. I'm afraid at what will happen to either one if they are separated.
"That's not up to me, Jabir. There are so many issues to be decided. When people find out about who she is, there will be danger. For both of you. How will you deal with that?"
"I will do anything to stay with her. Anything." The resolve in his eyes gives me hope that they just might make it through this; if Mac will just wake up.
2 days later
Mac's hospital room
Admiral Chegwidden's POV***
It's been 2 days since I got here and still no sign that she will come out of this damn coma. I don't think Jabir has left her side for more than a few minutes at a time; except for after I told him about his father. His reaction is still a mystery to me. He was definitely upset, but there seemed to be an underlying relief at the news. I wonder what the full story is there. There is an unspoken but fragile truce between Jabir and Webb and Rabb. The first day that Jabir and I talked he asked about them. I tried to explain what happened, but the pain on their faces has done more to soften his hate than anything else. Webb and Rabb have mostly stayed in the waiting area. I think looking at her fragile condition is too hard for both of them, considering it's their fault. I'm mildly surprised that Webb hasn't left given his importance with the CIA, but he remains; growing more despondent by the hour. Rabb is even worse and is barely holding himself together. Mac, do you know how many lives hang in the balance with yours?
Mac's POV***
My body feels so heavy. Everything is muted and fuzzy. I am struggling to remember where I am and what happened but my mind seems completely disconnected from my body. The only sound in the room is the soft whirring of machines, but I can feel someone's presence next to me. My body jerks as I remember the sounds of the shots being fired and images of their guns pointed at Jabir. That vision is replaced by eyes looking at me; cold and accusing. Overwhelming fear tightens my chest and I struggle to breathe. I try to call out for Jabir, but something stops me and icicles of fear cut through me. I struggle trying to free myself but as I do pain explodes through my body. The intensity of it makes my skin flush and I feel my stomach churn. Where is he?!
Admiral's POV***
The frantic beeping of the machines grabs my attention and I see her body jerk. She seems to be fighting something unseen as she struggles wildly. The breathing tube keeps her from calling out and she gasps for breath, fighting the machine that has been keeping her alive. Her eyes are open but unseeing as Jabir tries to calm her. The frantic activity on the monitors brings the nurses and a doctor rushing into the room. One of them shouts that they have to stabilize her fast or they could lose her. Jabir is still calling to her franticly, trying to get through to her. Hearing the shouting, Webb and Rabb rush into the room and stare in terror as the doctor yells orders to his staff. One of the nurses pushes Jabir away and he desperately tries to reach her. Finally, he pushes the nurse out of the way and leans over to her. Pullling her face to his he calls to her again. A flash of recognition passes through her eyes and she immediately starts to relax. He strokes her face and starts talking to her softly, trying to reassure her. I watch as her heart rate slowly returns to normal and her breathing becomes less labored. The doctor waits a few minutes more and before he leaves tells Jabir that he will remove the breathing tube in a few hours once he is sure that she is stable. As Jabir gazes at her, I see his love for her reflected back to him in her own eyes. Although I can't understand a word that Jabir is saying to her, I suddenly feel as though I am intruding on what should be a private moment. I am afraid as well that once she sees Webb and Rabb she will become upset again and hurt herself. I motion to both of them to follow me out. The longing in Rabb's eyes tears at me. I know he wants to hold her and comfort her as Jabir is doing, but he lost that right a long time ago. And I'm not sure he will ever have the chance again.
Mac's POV***
I listen as Jabir explains that I have been in a coma for several days. The pain and fear in his eyes breaks my heart as he tells me that he thought he had lost me. His eyes shine with love and I am suddenly afraid because I know he will despise me once he knows who I am. My eyes tear as I think of the hate and betrayal that I know will replace the love I see.
"Amirah, why do you cry? Are you in pain?" the desperation in his voice makes my tears flow faster.
Damn it. I can't say anything with this stupid breathing tube in. I can't stand to look at him and I try to turn my face away, feeling ashamed at having deceived him. I feel his hands gently pull my face back as he begs to know what is wrong. I fight to turn away again, but he is too strong and I feel my body give into the sleep that is calling to me. As I fight the heaviness of my eyelids, the last thing I see are his tears slipping down his face.
Webb POV**** None of us have spoken a word since we left Mac's room. I can't even begin to express the relief I feel that she has woken up. The doctor seems to think that now that she has she will recover fully, but it will take a few weeks. The admiral hasn't said anything, and I know he is at a loss as to what can be done for Mac and Jabir. Rabb just sits silently, staring at the floor. I feel pity for him. He has lost Mac all over again, but this time to another man. I'm not really sure how he is going to handle it, but there are a lot of unknowns in this situation. I don't know how Mac is going to deal with being separated from Jabir. This situation couldn't be messier. With his father's death, Jabir is the sole inheritor of billions of dollars in land and oil refineries, but most of it is in Iraq. His father was an Al-Queida supporter and he is married to an American military officer. Our government is not exactly going to welcome him with open arms, unless.. No, I shouldn't even think about it. If something happened to him because I get him involved, Mac will kill me. I can't stand the silence any longer and get up to walk around. As I pass by Mac's room I hear Jabir begging her to tell him what is wrong, but she is too tired to keep her eyes open. As she slips into sleep, Jabir looks around helplessly.
"Is she ok?" My question is barely a whisper but it startles him. His eyes are at first filled with hate for me, but he seems too tired to be able to maintain the feeling. He shakes his head and slips back into the chair.
"She won't even look at me. I do not understand what is wrong."
I know this isn't any of my business, but I know Mac well enough to know that she is probably feeling guilty for deceiving him. And the love she feels for him has been obvious, so that leads me to one conclusion. "Do you think that she's afraid you'll hate her, now that you know who she is?"
The thought of hating her seems abhorrent to Jabir as he shakes his head vigorously. "I could never hate Amirah. She is my life. She is everything to me. I understand why she betrayed my father. I wish I had the courage to stop him myself. What he was doing was wrong, but I was afraid of him. Nothing but Amirah matters to me."
I consider myself a hardened spook, but his heartfelt declaration of love touches me. I decide immediately that I will do everything possible to help him come to America with Mac. She deserves some happiness, and I owe her for so many things. I am again faced with my own shame for doubting Mac and putting her in this position. Rabb may hate me for what I do now, but I know that even in his own pain he wants her to be happy. "Jabir, you need to tell Mac that you know who she is. She needs to know that you don't hate her for what she had to do, and for lying to you." He nods his understanding and I see a flicker of gratefulness pass through his eyes. As I leave the room, I feel marginally good about myself for the first time in years.
Rabb's POV****
She's going to live. I'm not sure if she will ever be able to forgive me for what I've done, but at least she is alive. The relief is bittersweet as I realize that I have found her only to lose her again. Part of me is truly happy for her. I have never seen so much peace and happiness in her eyes, as I did when she was with Jabir that night. But, I am afraid for her as well. I don't know how they are going to work out all the issues surrounding Jabir and who he is. I wonder if she will even come back and work at JAG. She certainly doesn't need to work to support herself. I know that Mac loved her job and it was never for money, but she is so different now that I don't know if she will even want to be a Marine anymore. That thought sends chills down my spine. So much of Mac is, or was, being a marine. Surely she hasn't changed that much.
I don't know what I am going to say when I see her. An apology sure as hell doesn't cut it when you doubt the woman you love and then almost kill her. The Admiral has hardly said a word to me. I can't blame him, after what I have done. I'll be lucky if he doesn't bring me up on charges.
END CHAPTER 6
I know, most everyone's sick of the Mac/Jabir stuff but I can't write it out that quickly. It would cheapen the storyline in my opinion. Chapter 7 follows immediately so that I can leave you in a slightly better place. =0)
Oh, do other authors get hate mail from their stores or am I just special that way??? =0) No, I'm not pleading for nice reviews, but I REALLY am curious about that.