Title: Unfinished Business: Chapter 8
Author: Nala (Nala@fanfiction.net)
Disclaimers in part 1
3 days later
Enroute to Dulles.
Mac's POV***
Today has seemed like a waking dream. I dressed in my uniform for the first time in almost 2 years. It actually took me a minute to notice that my silver oak leaves had been replaced by birds; signifying my promotion to full Colonel. I wonder when that happened? At my questioning glance, Harm merely smiled and told me I had more than earned it. He has been promoted to Captain and I think the bars look good on him. He told me as well that Bud had made Lt. Commander. The best news I've heard though is that Bud and Harriet have a 6-month-old girl. I am so incredibly happy for them, but when he told me they had named her Sarah. I was humbled and touched to have been given that honor.
As I look out the tiny pane of the window, I wonder how to meld my old life with my new one. It all seems pretty daunting at the moment and I wonder what my decision will be regarding staying in the Marines and JAG. I don't think I really want to leave the Marines, but I'm feeling pretty overwhelmed at the moment. I have a week off to re-acclimate to the life I left behind, but that hardly seems like enough.
It feels odd to be away from Jabir and I miss him terribly. He promised to come soon and I know Clay and the Admiral are doing everything they can to bring him to the states quickly. Webb left just after we talked and the Admiral had to follow him shortly. That only left Harm to stay with me until I was cleared medically to make the return trip home. At first I wasn't sure that I wanted him to stay. I have been struggling to understand what I still feel for him. At times it seems awkward and foreign, but at other times it seems like the most natural thing in the world to be sitting next to him. To see his smile and to hear his voice. When he looks at me sometimes its almost as if I never left. As if his cold words are washed away along with 2 years of believing he doesn't care. But so much has happened since I left.
As much as I have changed over the last 2 years, so has Harm. It's just been the last day that I've really noticed the subtle differences. He's still strong, but more vulnerable somehow. I can't really explain it; it's more a look in his eyes than anything else. And although his flyboy grin is still there, there seems to be a sadness lurking just beneath its surface. I wonder what brought about the changes in him. What could have possibly made such an impact on Harmon Rabb, Jr?
I fidget trying to get comfortable and I can feel Harm looking at me. He really has been so sweet about trying to help me with everything, especially after Jabir had to leave. At first I thought he was solely motivated by guilt, but I can see the concern in his eyes. After what happened before I left, I have to admit that I'm wary about letting him too close to me, emotionally. But if I am honest with myself, there is a part of me that will always belong to him.
I am happy with Jabir and I love him. He helped make me whole and gave me what I so badly needed. It isn't just what he has done for me that made me fall in love with him; it's the man that he is. But love is unique with each person that you feel it for, and once someone holds a piece of you I think they are a part of you for the rest of your life.
I sigh thinking about the long flight back with the wounds and stitches in my side giving me so much grief, but at least we're flying first class. Webb arranged it and I have to laugh thinking of how useful this situation is going to be. I recline my chair back as far as it can go and finally find a comfortable position. My body is still exhausted from the trauma it has been through and sleep comes quickly.
Harriet's POV****
Colonel Mackenzie is alive! It seems impossible but I am so grateful. We have missed her so much, and I know Captain Rabb has suffered without her. Right now I am rushing around my house trying to get lil AJ and baby Sarah ready to go with us to the airport. OH! I just realized she might not even know about baby Sarah, but I'm sure the Captain told her. When I found out I was pregnant again, I was so excited. I know it might seem strange to some that we named this child the same as our little one that we lost, but it just felt right. When I asked Captain Rabb what he thought, he just smiled and said that Sarah would be so honored if she were here. I don't know why he started calling her Sarah instead of Mac, but I suspect it made him feel closer to her. He has always been wonderful with lil AJ, but he is extra tender and sweet with baby Sarah. I think whenever he holds her, he feels closer to the Colonel.
I hope that she and Captain Rabb are doing ok. I don't know if she knows yet how he feels about her, and not knowing what happened while she was gone. well, I just hope that they can finally work things out. She deserves so much happiness and he loves her so much. Maybe they can both finally be happy. I am anxious to hear all about what happened when she was gone and how she managed to stay alive, and how Webb found her. Oh my, I better not bombard her all at once. Bud just walked in the door with the biggest grin on his face. He is excited too. He looked up to Colonel Mackenzie a lot. She was always kind to him and looked out for Bud. I know he has missed her terribly.
I feel the tingles of excitement rush through me for the millionth time today and I find myself amazed all over again that they found her. The Admiral didn't say much when he called, but he did tell me that she was wounded badly and would have to wait a few days to come back. I sensed there was a lot he didn't say and I wonder what happened over there. In less than an hour Bud and I will be meeting her and Captain Rabb at Dulles. The only hard part about this is the difficulty I had explaining to lil AJ that his Aunt Mac was back from heaven. I wonder if he will even remember her, but I hope so. I have spent all week trying to remind him of who she was by looking at pictures and telling him stories. But it's been. wow, almost 2 years since she left.
1500
Dulles Airport
Rabb's POV***
Mac looks completely exhausted and I know her wounds must be causing her a lot of pain. "Mac, you don't look so good." I'm back to calling her Mac. It was too awkward for her when I called her Sarah. She seemed too uneasy every time I did.
"I don't feel so good. Can we wait for a minute until everyone is off? I don't think I can handle getting bumped around right now." There is a fine sheen of sweat forming on her forehead and I know she has to be hurting. I reach into my carryon and pull out the prescription the doctor gave her for the pain. She looks at me warily but when she doesn't protest I get even more worried. Right now I'm glad that I made sure only Bud and Harriet met us today. I didn't think she would be up to seeing many people right off and I can tell it was the right decision. She leans back and closes her eyes, but it's a good ten minutes before the plane empties out.
"Come on marine, time to get out of here." She looks up with the most vulnerable look in her eyes and my breath catches.
"Harm, I've been gone for a long time. What if I can't do this?" I didn't even think of her concerns in that regard and I want to kick myself for being so insensitive.
"I've got you Mac. Don't worry, it'll all work out." I blush at my words but she seems too tired to notice. Instead she just smiles at me gratefully and I find myself falling for her all over again. She's so tired I have to help her up and I walk with my arm around her for support. I don't want her to be in pain, but I cherish these few moments when she is leaning on me, seemingly trusting me. I know that once she is feeling better physically, the walls will probably come back up.
Just before the exit, she hesitates. I feel her need to do this on her own and I let go, though I stay as close as possible in case she needs me. She squares her shoulders and slowly walks out the door. In spite of her pain and exhaustion, she looks like she's ready to take on the world.
Bud's POV**
I think we're at the right gate, but I haven't seen the Captain or Colonel come out yet. The last person walked off a couple of minutes ago and I'm really wondering if I wrote something down wrong. I hope not, that would be pretty embarrassing.
"Honey, are you sure we're at the right gate?" I mumble nervously and start to look around. My son keeps asking if I'm sure Aun Mac is coming back from heaven today. The poor kid is going to be confused again. It took us forever to try and convince him she wasn't coming back. And now, we had to tell him that she got special permission to return. I know this is going to cost me a fortune in therapy for him when he gets older.
"Mommy, I want Aun Mac and Unca Harm." Harriet tries to distract him but that is only going to work so long. Just as I'm about to suggest we check with a gate agent, movement at the exit of the jetway catches my eye. I almost wouldn't have recognized her if it weren't for Captain Rabb staying protectively by her side. It's kinda uncanny how different she looks, while looking the same too. It reminds me of a body snatchers episode I saw once on TV. It was really spooky. Eww, I wonder if that stuff really happens?
Harriet and I both stand at attention as soon as they come close enough. Colonel Mackenzie manages a weak smile and shakes her head. "Some things don't change."
"At ease you two." Captain Rabb laughs
"Ma'm, it's so good to have you back. I can't believe you aren't dead, but you look so different." Kill me now before I say anything else stupid. I'm just so excited to see her that my mouth is getting ahead of me.
Harriet's POV***
The colonel looks so tired and weak it breaks my heart, but as soon as she sees baby Sarah sleeping in Bud's arms her expression softens and turns wistful.
"Is this her?"
Nodding, I ask if she wants to hold her.
"No, I don't want to wake her up." As she softly touches her cheek, she seems to be somewhere else entirely. "She's so precious and she's just. beautiful." Looking back to Bud and I, her eyes glisten. "I'm so happy for the two of you."
"I hope you don't mind that we named her Sarah. It just felt right and.."
"Harriet, I couldn't be more honored that you would choose to name her that."
"Permission to hug the Colonel?"
"Consider it an order, and its Mac." I try to hug her as softly as possible but she still grimaces slightly in pain. I start to ask her about how she got shot, but then I see her wedding ring and I get completely side tracked.
"Ma'm. When did this happen?" When I saw it I could tell by the look in Captain Rabb's eyes that it wasn't his ring on her finger. Now I really want to know what happened while she was gone.
"A little over 2 months ago. It's a long story." She smiles weakly and I am suddenly aware that Captain Rabb is actually helping her stay standing at this point.
"Oh look at me being the busybody. Lets get you out of here so that you can rest." It's at that moment that lil AJ decides to make his presence known.
"Aun Mac?" He is a little unsure at first and seems to be thinking seriously about something. "Did you really get to come back from heaven? Did you see my goldfish, Arnie? Daddy said that even fish go to heaven." The Colonel seems confused, but it only lasts for a moment and I remember why I love her so much. She stares back at him and makes a look like she is thinking really hard about something.
"Was he about this big?" At his surprised nod she smiles and continues. "Yep, I think I met him. He had a friend with him too." At her mention of a friend for his lost goldfish my son's eyes grow bright and he smiles. Before I can stop him he rushes to her and hugs her around the legs. Looking up he adds in his best grown up voice. "I'm glad you came back, Aun Mac. But I don't think you should go again. Unca Harm misses you too much."
The unsure look that the Colonel gives the Captain breaks my heart. She still doesn't know how he feels, and he will never tell her with another man's ring on her finger.
3 hours later
Enroute to Mac's Apt
Mac's POV***
I am completely exhausted. It was so good to see Bud and Harriet again, but I just didn't have the energy to answer all their questions. I can't believe how much lil AJ has grown. When he asked me about being in heaven, it took me a minute to figure out what he was talking about. That poor little guy has to be so confused. And baby Sarah is adorable. I can't wait to really spend some time with them.
As Harm drives me home, I find myself searching for familiar places. I see a store or two that I don't recognize, but the area has remained the same for the most part. I find a strange comfort in that and wonder what awaits me at my apartment. My thoughts turn to Harm and how considerate and protective he has been. He's been pretty quiet most of the evening. Staying just close enough to help if I need it, but far enough away to give me the space I need. I think it will take awhile to regain our friendship, but today gave me hope that it's possible. Lil AJ's statement about Harm missing me too much caught me off guard. I wonder what he meant.
"We're here. You sure you won't stay at my place. You're still pretty weak." His eyes are full of concern and not for the first time I have to stop myself from wondering what he is feeling.
"No. I need to be in my own place. Speaking of, how did you get my apartment back?" He just shrugs his shoulders and tells me it was Webb's doing. As I walk up to my apt, I am filled with mixed emotions. Harm opens the door and I walk in slowly. Looking around, I feel like I've been transported back in time. As far as I can tell, most everything is the way it was when I left. Of course, after 2 years my memory might not be that good. I immediately go to my couch and practically collapse. I vaguely hear Harm put some things in my room and then he comes back out to the front room.
"Um, there are a few of your things that are still at my apt. I'll bring them over tomorrow if it's ok." I mumble an ok, wondering why he has some of my stuff at his place, but I'm really too tired to think about it. It feels so good to lie down. I don't think I am going to make it to my bed. Harm must know this because he stands over me silently and then without saying anything scoops me up and takes me to my room. I'm too tired to protest and he places me softly on my bed. I mumble that I can handle the rest and he quietly leaves my room and closes my bedroom door. I barely make it out of my clothes before I collapse into blissful sleep and hope that Jabir comes soon.
Rabb's POV***
Being with her all day, but not being able to touch her or tell her I love her is killing me. She's so weak right now; I just want to take care of everything for her. I know that isn't my place and I know I have to be patient in gaining her friendship back, but . It's just so hard. I wonder if this is how she felt, wanting to move forward with me, but me being unwilling to do so. Now that I am ready, she belongs to another. I haven't been able to find a single thing about him that I dislike, other than the fact that he has her and I don't. Truthfully, I respect him because he truly makes her happy. He doesn't have the arrogance that Brumby did and I'm not even going to compare him to Dalton or Chris.
I groan thinking of how awkward Lil AJ's statement was about me missing her. Don't get me wrong, I don't mind if she knows how much it hurt me to believe she was dead. I just don't think she's ready to hear about how I feel yet and I don't want to push her. I've caused her enough pain already. She has kept the small amount of conversation we have had steered away from any topic of us. When I started to apologize to her in the hospital for my cold words the night before and the day she left, she just turned away from me. I barely heard her whisper pleading with me not to talk about it.
I walk around the apartment and am impressed by how quickly Webb had things put together. I wonder how he could so exactly arrange things the way they were. Hah, The spook probably took pictures of everything before I cleaned it out. Kinda weird in a sweet sort of way, I guess. No, the word sweet doesn't really come to mind when I think of Webb. It's just weird.
I know that I should leave and go back to my apartment, but I'm worried about leaving her alone. What if something goes wrong and she needs help in the middle of the night? I rationalize that the Admiral sort of gave me an order when he said to watch out for her and I really wouldn't want to disobey an order.. Well, if I sleep on the couch and get up early enough she'll never know I stayed. I decide this is my best option and struggle to fit my long frame on her couch. This is going to be a long night, but I wouldn't have gotten any sleep at my place worrying about her anyway. I just hope that the small amount of progress we've made towards recapturing our friendship won't disappear.
END CHAPTER 8
ARGH!! Sorry this chapter is a bit choppy and disjointed. I could have held onto it for days to try and make it what I wanted, but I think I got fed up with it so you got it anyway. I know, I'll blame it on the characters being confused and having conflicting feelings. How does that sound?? =0) Ok, only tiny shipper scenes, but it's the base to build on. LOL. I wanted to say thanks for the kind reviews and encouraging emails. Believe me, they help motivate me. =0) I'm writing the next chapter as soon as I post this.
Disclaimers in part 1
3 days later
Enroute to Dulles.
Mac's POV***
Today has seemed like a waking dream. I dressed in my uniform for the first time in almost 2 years. It actually took me a minute to notice that my silver oak leaves had been replaced by birds; signifying my promotion to full Colonel. I wonder when that happened? At my questioning glance, Harm merely smiled and told me I had more than earned it. He has been promoted to Captain and I think the bars look good on him. He told me as well that Bud had made Lt. Commander. The best news I've heard though is that Bud and Harriet have a 6-month-old girl. I am so incredibly happy for them, but when he told me they had named her Sarah. I was humbled and touched to have been given that honor.
As I look out the tiny pane of the window, I wonder how to meld my old life with my new one. It all seems pretty daunting at the moment and I wonder what my decision will be regarding staying in the Marines and JAG. I don't think I really want to leave the Marines, but I'm feeling pretty overwhelmed at the moment. I have a week off to re-acclimate to the life I left behind, but that hardly seems like enough.
It feels odd to be away from Jabir and I miss him terribly. He promised to come soon and I know Clay and the Admiral are doing everything they can to bring him to the states quickly. Webb left just after we talked and the Admiral had to follow him shortly. That only left Harm to stay with me until I was cleared medically to make the return trip home. At first I wasn't sure that I wanted him to stay. I have been struggling to understand what I still feel for him. At times it seems awkward and foreign, but at other times it seems like the most natural thing in the world to be sitting next to him. To see his smile and to hear his voice. When he looks at me sometimes its almost as if I never left. As if his cold words are washed away along with 2 years of believing he doesn't care. But so much has happened since I left.
As much as I have changed over the last 2 years, so has Harm. It's just been the last day that I've really noticed the subtle differences. He's still strong, but more vulnerable somehow. I can't really explain it; it's more a look in his eyes than anything else. And although his flyboy grin is still there, there seems to be a sadness lurking just beneath its surface. I wonder what brought about the changes in him. What could have possibly made such an impact on Harmon Rabb, Jr?
I fidget trying to get comfortable and I can feel Harm looking at me. He really has been so sweet about trying to help me with everything, especially after Jabir had to leave. At first I thought he was solely motivated by guilt, but I can see the concern in his eyes. After what happened before I left, I have to admit that I'm wary about letting him too close to me, emotionally. But if I am honest with myself, there is a part of me that will always belong to him.
I am happy with Jabir and I love him. He helped make me whole and gave me what I so badly needed. It isn't just what he has done for me that made me fall in love with him; it's the man that he is. But love is unique with each person that you feel it for, and once someone holds a piece of you I think they are a part of you for the rest of your life.
I sigh thinking about the long flight back with the wounds and stitches in my side giving me so much grief, but at least we're flying first class. Webb arranged it and I have to laugh thinking of how useful this situation is going to be. I recline my chair back as far as it can go and finally find a comfortable position. My body is still exhausted from the trauma it has been through and sleep comes quickly.
Harriet's POV****
Colonel Mackenzie is alive! It seems impossible but I am so grateful. We have missed her so much, and I know Captain Rabb has suffered without her. Right now I am rushing around my house trying to get lil AJ and baby Sarah ready to go with us to the airport. OH! I just realized she might not even know about baby Sarah, but I'm sure the Captain told her. When I found out I was pregnant again, I was so excited. I know it might seem strange to some that we named this child the same as our little one that we lost, but it just felt right. When I asked Captain Rabb what he thought, he just smiled and said that Sarah would be so honored if she were here. I don't know why he started calling her Sarah instead of Mac, but I suspect it made him feel closer to her. He has always been wonderful with lil AJ, but he is extra tender and sweet with baby Sarah. I think whenever he holds her, he feels closer to the Colonel.
I hope that she and Captain Rabb are doing ok. I don't know if she knows yet how he feels about her, and not knowing what happened while she was gone. well, I just hope that they can finally work things out. She deserves so much happiness and he loves her so much. Maybe they can both finally be happy. I am anxious to hear all about what happened when she was gone and how she managed to stay alive, and how Webb found her. Oh my, I better not bombard her all at once. Bud just walked in the door with the biggest grin on his face. He is excited too. He looked up to Colonel Mackenzie a lot. She was always kind to him and looked out for Bud. I know he has missed her terribly.
I feel the tingles of excitement rush through me for the millionth time today and I find myself amazed all over again that they found her. The Admiral didn't say much when he called, but he did tell me that she was wounded badly and would have to wait a few days to come back. I sensed there was a lot he didn't say and I wonder what happened over there. In less than an hour Bud and I will be meeting her and Captain Rabb at Dulles. The only hard part about this is the difficulty I had explaining to lil AJ that his Aunt Mac was back from heaven. I wonder if he will even remember her, but I hope so. I have spent all week trying to remind him of who she was by looking at pictures and telling him stories. But it's been. wow, almost 2 years since she left.
1500
Dulles Airport
Rabb's POV***
Mac looks completely exhausted and I know her wounds must be causing her a lot of pain. "Mac, you don't look so good." I'm back to calling her Mac. It was too awkward for her when I called her Sarah. She seemed too uneasy every time I did.
"I don't feel so good. Can we wait for a minute until everyone is off? I don't think I can handle getting bumped around right now." There is a fine sheen of sweat forming on her forehead and I know she has to be hurting. I reach into my carryon and pull out the prescription the doctor gave her for the pain. She looks at me warily but when she doesn't protest I get even more worried. Right now I'm glad that I made sure only Bud and Harriet met us today. I didn't think she would be up to seeing many people right off and I can tell it was the right decision. She leans back and closes her eyes, but it's a good ten minutes before the plane empties out.
"Come on marine, time to get out of here." She looks up with the most vulnerable look in her eyes and my breath catches.
"Harm, I've been gone for a long time. What if I can't do this?" I didn't even think of her concerns in that regard and I want to kick myself for being so insensitive.
"I've got you Mac. Don't worry, it'll all work out." I blush at my words but she seems too tired to notice. Instead she just smiles at me gratefully and I find myself falling for her all over again. She's so tired I have to help her up and I walk with my arm around her for support. I don't want her to be in pain, but I cherish these few moments when she is leaning on me, seemingly trusting me. I know that once she is feeling better physically, the walls will probably come back up.
Just before the exit, she hesitates. I feel her need to do this on her own and I let go, though I stay as close as possible in case she needs me. She squares her shoulders and slowly walks out the door. In spite of her pain and exhaustion, she looks like she's ready to take on the world.
Bud's POV**
I think we're at the right gate, but I haven't seen the Captain or Colonel come out yet. The last person walked off a couple of minutes ago and I'm really wondering if I wrote something down wrong. I hope not, that would be pretty embarrassing.
"Honey, are you sure we're at the right gate?" I mumble nervously and start to look around. My son keeps asking if I'm sure Aun Mac is coming back from heaven today. The poor kid is going to be confused again. It took us forever to try and convince him she wasn't coming back. And now, we had to tell him that she got special permission to return. I know this is going to cost me a fortune in therapy for him when he gets older.
"Mommy, I want Aun Mac and Unca Harm." Harriet tries to distract him but that is only going to work so long. Just as I'm about to suggest we check with a gate agent, movement at the exit of the jetway catches my eye. I almost wouldn't have recognized her if it weren't for Captain Rabb staying protectively by her side. It's kinda uncanny how different she looks, while looking the same too. It reminds me of a body snatchers episode I saw once on TV. It was really spooky. Eww, I wonder if that stuff really happens?
Harriet and I both stand at attention as soon as they come close enough. Colonel Mackenzie manages a weak smile and shakes her head. "Some things don't change."
"At ease you two." Captain Rabb laughs
"Ma'm, it's so good to have you back. I can't believe you aren't dead, but you look so different." Kill me now before I say anything else stupid. I'm just so excited to see her that my mouth is getting ahead of me.
Harriet's POV***
The colonel looks so tired and weak it breaks my heart, but as soon as she sees baby Sarah sleeping in Bud's arms her expression softens and turns wistful.
"Is this her?"
Nodding, I ask if she wants to hold her.
"No, I don't want to wake her up." As she softly touches her cheek, she seems to be somewhere else entirely. "She's so precious and she's just. beautiful." Looking back to Bud and I, her eyes glisten. "I'm so happy for the two of you."
"I hope you don't mind that we named her Sarah. It just felt right and.."
"Harriet, I couldn't be more honored that you would choose to name her that."
"Permission to hug the Colonel?"
"Consider it an order, and its Mac." I try to hug her as softly as possible but she still grimaces slightly in pain. I start to ask her about how she got shot, but then I see her wedding ring and I get completely side tracked.
"Ma'm. When did this happen?" When I saw it I could tell by the look in Captain Rabb's eyes that it wasn't his ring on her finger. Now I really want to know what happened while she was gone.
"A little over 2 months ago. It's a long story." She smiles weakly and I am suddenly aware that Captain Rabb is actually helping her stay standing at this point.
"Oh look at me being the busybody. Lets get you out of here so that you can rest." It's at that moment that lil AJ decides to make his presence known.
"Aun Mac?" He is a little unsure at first and seems to be thinking seriously about something. "Did you really get to come back from heaven? Did you see my goldfish, Arnie? Daddy said that even fish go to heaven." The Colonel seems confused, but it only lasts for a moment and I remember why I love her so much. She stares back at him and makes a look like she is thinking really hard about something.
"Was he about this big?" At his surprised nod she smiles and continues. "Yep, I think I met him. He had a friend with him too." At her mention of a friend for his lost goldfish my son's eyes grow bright and he smiles. Before I can stop him he rushes to her and hugs her around the legs. Looking up he adds in his best grown up voice. "I'm glad you came back, Aun Mac. But I don't think you should go again. Unca Harm misses you too much."
The unsure look that the Colonel gives the Captain breaks my heart. She still doesn't know how he feels, and he will never tell her with another man's ring on her finger.
3 hours later
Enroute to Mac's Apt
Mac's POV***
I am completely exhausted. It was so good to see Bud and Harriet again, but I just didn't have the energy to answer all their questions. I can't believe how much lil AJ has grown. When he asked me about being in heaven, it took me a minute to figure out what he was talking about. That poor little guy has to be so confused. And baby Sarah is adorable. I can't wait to really spend some time with them.
As Harm drives me home, I find myself searching for familiar places. I see a store or two that I don't recognize, but the area has remained the same for the most part. I find a strange comfort in that and wonder what awaits me at my apartment. My thoughts turn to Harm and how considerate and protective he has been. He's been pretty quiet most of the evening. Staying just close enough to help if I need it, but far enough away to give me the space I need. I think it will take awhile to regain our friendship, but today gave me hope that it's possible. Lil AJ's statement about Harm missing me too much caught me off guard. I wonder what he meant.
"We're here. You sure you won't stay at my place. You're still pretty weak." His eyes are full of concern and not for the first time I have to stop myself from wondering what he is feeling.
"No. I need to be in my own place. Speaking of, how did you get my apartment back?" He just shrugs his shoulders and tells me it was Webb's doing. As I walk up to my apt, I am filled with mixed emotions. Harm opens the door and I walk in slowly. Looking around, I feel like I've been transported back in time. As far as I can tell, most everything is the way it was when I left. Of course, after 2 years my memory might not be that good. I immediately go to my couch and practically collapse. I vaguely hear Harm put some things in my room and then he comes back out to the front room.
"Um, there are a few of your things that are still at my apt. I'll bring them over tomorrow if it's ok." I mumble an ok, wondering why he has some of my stuff at his place, but I'm really too tired to think about it. It feels so good to lie down. I don't think I am going to make it to my bed. Harm must know this because he stands over me silently and then without saying anything scoops me up and takes me to my room. I'm too tired to protest and he places me softly on my bed. I mumble that I can handle the rest and he quietly leaves my room and closes my bedroom door. I barely make it out of my clothes before I collapse into blissful sleep and hope that Jabir comes soon.
Rabb's POV***
Being with her all day, but not being able to touch her or tell her I love her is killing me. She's so weak right now; I just want to take care of everything for her. I know that isn't my place and I know I have to be patient in gaining her friendship back, but . It's just so hard. I wonder if this is how she felt, wanting to move forward with me, but me being unwilling to do so. Now that I am ready, she belongs to another. I haven't been able to find a single thing about him that I dislike, other than the fact that he has her and I don't. Truthfully, I respect him because he truly makes her happy. He doesn't have the arrogance that Brumby did and I'm not even going to compare him to Dalton or Chris.
I groan thinking of how awkward Lil AJ's statement was about me missing her. Don't get me wrong, I don't mind if she knows how much it hurt me to believe she was dead. I just don't think she's ready to hear about how I feel yet and I don't want to push her. I've caused her enough pain already. She has kept the small amount of conversation we have had steered away from any topic of us. When I started to apologize to her in the hospital for my cold words the night before and the day she left, she just turned away from me. I barely heard her whisper pleading with me not to talk about it.
I walk around the apartment and am impressed by how quickly Webb had things put together. I wonder how he could so exactly arrange things the way they were. Hah, The spook probably took pictures of everything before I cleaned it out. Kinda weird in a sweet sort of way, I guess. No, the word sweet doesn't really come to mind when I think of Webb. It's just weird.
I know that I should leave and go back to my apartment, but I'm worried about leaving her alone. What if something goes wrong and she needs help in the middle of the night? I rationalize that the Admiral sort of gave me an order when he said to watch out for her and I really wouldn't want to disobey an order.. Well, if I sleep on the couch and get up early enough she'll never know I stayed. I decide this is my best option and struggle to fit my long frame on her couch. This is going to be a long night, but I wouldn't have gotten any sleep at my place worrying about her anyway. I just hope that the small amount of progress we've made towards recapturing our friendship won't disappear.
END CHAPTER 8
ARGH!! Sorry this chapter is a bit choppy and disjointed. I could have held onto it for days to try and make it what I wanted, but I think I got fed up with it so you got it anyway. I know, I'll blame it on the characters being confused and having conflicting feelings. How does that sound?? =0) Ok, only tiny shipper scenes, but it's the base to build on. LOL. I wanted to say thanks for the kind reviews and encouraging emails. Believe me, they help motivate me. =0) I'm writing the next chapter as soon as I post this.