A.N: Please don't ask me where I got this idea, or WHY I wrote this... It was for a friend *coughPYROcough* of mine. This idea was purely from her sick, twisted little mind... I have just twisted it even more! *malicious laugh* NOW! *holds up arm and points finger* TO THE DICLAIMER!!! (and, no, 'diclaimer' is NOT spelled wrong... it is a joke... a very funny one at that.)

Disclaimer: Nothing in the story (i.e. characters, magical....er...thingies) belongs to me. They belong to the magnificent J.K. Rowling. McDonald's belongs to McDonald's... or whatever... TV's belong to whoever invented them... Parallel universes belong to the Twilight Zone. Bay Watch belongs to whoever made it up. Julie MacInnis belongs to my friend Jewlz (a.k.a. Pyro or Mad Eye Julie on FF.net) because it IS her. Only the pathetic plot belongs solely to me. Don't sue me, or I will bite you once I get on a sugar high again. *MmMmMmMm... Sugar...* Or I might just ask for your spleen... whichever happens, I ASSURE you that it will NOT be pretty!

THIS FANFICTION IS DEDICATED TO JEWLZ!

The Hamburger Files

By Kegogi

Chapter Two: The Fun Begins

After that eventful lunch, Ron began to get restless. He started to kick the booth he was in was such a force that Harry just could not eat any longer. Finally, he had had enough. "Ron," Harry started with a sigh.

"Yes?" Ron asked innocently. His two feet that were just moments ago pummeling the poor booth stopped abruptly.

"You about ready to go?"

"Sure, Harry. You're the one who brought me here. You have all the right in the world to drag me out..." Ronald said, "Besides, I was finished ages ago... You, Harry, eat like my mother did while she was on her diet a couple years ago. It used to take her over an hour to eat a salad."

Harry scowled at this remark. So what if he ate like a five-year-old. Even the greatest of Wizarding geniuses were entitled to their flaws. After all, Dumbledore liked CHAMBER music....

Harry stood up slowly and stretched his knobby legs. Had it been one minute or one hour since he last got up? Whatever it was, he was pretty sure it was a pretty long time thanks to his atrocious eating habits.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

"So," Ron asked a half an hour later, "Where are we going to go next?"

"I dunno," he admitted, "I really don't know what we're going to do next." Harry slowly rubbed his temples. Before they left, he had let Ron get another refill on his soda. Harry now regretted this full-heartedly; Ron still hadn't mastered the Art of the Straw yet. Little rivulets of soda still kept dribbling down the corners of his mouth and onto his once-white T-shirt, and it took all of Harry's will power not to run away or laugh...

The two friends walked together in silence. That is until Ron saw the display in Emerson's Electronics.

"Wow! Harry wait up!" Ron called.

Harry turned around to tell his friend to get a move on but stopped. What he saw nearly made his heart still. Ron was staring at the window of an appliance shop, and across of all the little T.V's in the window, his image ran. The tall redhead gawked in amazement. Slowly lifting up his right hand, he wiggled it around a bit. The T.V. Ron did the same, and Ron jumped back in surprise. "Harry, come ON!" he said more forcefully.

Harry shook his head, "No, Ron, we don't have TIME." That of course was a total lie. Both boys still had plenty of time to be out still. But Harry shuddered. Ron just touching an electrical device with a ten-foot pole spelled trouble.

"C'mon Harry!" Ron ran over and grabbed his friend by the shirt collar. "Can we just have a look?"

Harry shook his shaggy head forcefully no, and struggled to get out of his grasp. Ron held on tight however, so Harry shook harder. "HARRY!" Ron gasped in exasperation, "Don't be a big wet prat!" Harry's patience was wearing thin now; he didn't know how much more he could take before deciding to whip out his wand and cast a Full-body Bind on his friend. To Hell with the Ministry of Magic, he thought.

"HARRY!" Ron was going red in the face now, but Harry kept his ground. He wouldn't go into that store even if his life depended on it. He knew that as soon as he gave in, both of their lives would most likely be put in jeopardy. However, Ron seemed to be the one who got impatient. With a great jump, he knocked over the smaller boy and beat him to the ground. All around, Muggles began to watch with great interest, but Ron didn't notice. The two boys tumbled over onto the concrete sidewalk and rolled a couple of feet. Harry was trying with all of his might to hold out against his friend, and succeeded in hitting him in the nose, yet Ron managed to pin him to the ground. "We're going into Emerson's Ee-lick-tronics NOW," he panted breathlessly.

Harry nodded silently and pushed Ron off of him. The Muggle who had gathered for the fight began to disperse, but not without a good amount of gossip. Who was that tall red-haired man, and what happened to them, and of course, why couldn't one of them talk right? Harry of course heard all of these, and he wanted to tackle some of those Muggles for being so thick. He wanted to scream at the top of his lungs that Ron was a wizard, and that he didn't need ee-lick-tronics. He wanted to scream to GOD for letting him give in. Now all Harry had to do was pray that he and Ron will get out of the store alive.

Ron grabbed Harry by his shirt collar to make sure that he didn't get away and walked calmly to the door of the shop. He looked as if nothing had happened, and he was even winking at the pretty young girls who were looking strangely at him. They all tossed their golden locks and laughed.

Harry's face was burning as Ron opened the door to the electronics store and held it open for him. "Ladies first," he joked.

"Shut up," Harry hissed under his breath. Ron was making fun of him just because he lost a fight. Harry roughly grabbed Ron's arm and threw him into the store.

Ron stumbled a bit. Then his eyes lit up. The shop was absolutely filled to the top with every type of electronic device you could find. Ron ran through the aisles, dragging Harry with him and pointed at each thing as they passed.

"What's this?" he asked Harry.

"That would be a telephone," Harry answered calmly.

"A tellyfern..." he slowly reached out to stroke its shiny plastic surface. Then he picked up the receiver. "What do you do with it?"

"You use it to talk to other people. Even if they're half-way around the world."

Ron's face brightened. "Oh yeah! I remember this! Hermione tried to teach me how to use one a few years back! You remember, dontcha Harry?"

Harry grimaced but nodded. During the summer before his third year, Ron had dared to call the Dursley household in hopes of talking to Harry. He could still remember being able to hear Ron's voice coming from the receiver from over ten feet away. And it was most unfortunate that Uncle Vernon had been the one to answer.

But Harry was surprised to find out that Hermione had taught Ron how to use the phone. He figured that she'd have the sense to tell him not to yell.

"What's that?" Ron asked again.

"That's a VCR, Ron. People use it to play things called videos."

"A Vee-See-Are," Ron repeated, "What's that?"

"That's a computer,"

"Aaaah. A kumpooter."

"Right, Ron."

"What's this?"

"That's a computer too. Called a laptop."

"Oh. A taplop." Ron hurried down the aisles, pointing out different gadgets and whatnot, asking what each of their names were in turn. Every now and then, he would mumble something like, Silly Muggles under his breath. Many of those things he considered stupid and useless and utterly boring. "I mean, who would want to play with a little rimoke-controlled car when they could drive a real one?"

At the back of the store though, Ron stopped cold. He let his jaw drop to the floor, and his blue eyes went wide. In front of him was a huge big-screen TV in all its glory. On the screen, there was an ocean scene with pretty women in bikinis waving from the beach. Ron waved back, dazed, his mouth still wide-open.

"Er... Ron?" Harry said, "that's a television. Those girls aren't really here you know."

Ron turned red as one of the girls giggled and started to dance on the screen. "Uh huh."

"Ah, gentlemen. I see you've witnessed the wonders of the ZenoBox 5000," said a greasy voice from behind.

Harry jumped, startled. That voice sounded too much like Snape's. Stupid, Harry yelled at himself mentally, Snape wouldn't dare go into the Muggle world. Stupid! Stupid! Harry spun around to look at the person who spoke. In front of him stood a tall, dirty-looking man in a rumpled sweatshirt with his shaggy brown hair falling into his eyes. It looked like he hadn't shaved in a week. Typical electronic junkie.

"Sorry about that," he said. He reached over to the ZenoBox and changed the channel. A football game between England and Portugal flipped on. Ron frowned.

The shaggy-looking salesman went on, "On slow days we tend to like to watch Bay Watch. Good ol' American show brings a lot of entertainment."

Harry nodded. He could see why. He was a bloody fifteen year-old boy, for crying out loud.

The man continued on and on about the ZenoBox, and how it was the best TV of it's kind out there with high-quality digital picture and sound and the added features of being able to pause in the middle of a program with a bonus of 973 television channels and how it also had one-touch recording without the hassle of a VCR and how it housed a built-in DVD player with game console and the extra feature of a remote control which could be controlled with brain signals or....

Harry lost track of everything from there. He was more content in watching Ron fiddle around with the TV's controls. He had to make sure that nothing went wrong. He didn't want to end up having to buy the stupid thing if Ron broke it.

Ron had his pointer finger on the button which flipped the channels up. All the stations were flipping by so quickly that you couldn't even see what they were. All you could make out was the channel number in the corner. 767, 768, 769, 770, 771, 772....

Harry turned back to the droning salesman. He noticed that the man obviously hadn't brushed his teeth in a day or two either. The man was probably too wrapped up in some video game.

Harry saw the channel numbers flip by out of the corner of his eye. 899, 900, 901, 902, 903, 904..... He heard Ron mumble, "Nine hundred bloody channels and nothing's on!" Harry knew that Ron was still looking for the channel with Bay Watch on, and he almost laughed. Ron didn't know that all he had to do in the first place was hit the down button once.

Suddenly, Harry caught a glimpse of an orange-colored spark coming from Ron's fingertip. It was immediately absorbed by the television. Another spark came out. It too was sucked up. Harry stole a glance at the salesman, hoping he hadn't noticed anything. Harry looked back again. Apparently Ron didn't know either.

Now the sparks were coming from Ron's fingers five of six at a time, and they were all being taken in by the TV. Harry knew that that wasn't good.

The salesman's head snapped up quickly, his eyes wide. He saw it. "Hey! Kid!"

Ron looked up at the man but it was too late. The sparks were now pouring from his hand and into the television. He tried to yank his hand away, but it seemed to be stuck. The channels were flipping by faster than ever now. All the numbers seemed to blur and twist, and suddenly the TV started to glow brighter and brighter. All the colors swirled together, and now the light form the TV was brighter than ever and—

Ron gave a hoarse cry as he was sucked through the screen, shattering the glass everywhere. At the last moment, he tried to grab Harry's hand to get out, but it was too late. Both he an Harry were flung through a tunnel of white light and twisting colors. The electronics shop was only a small dot behind them now, getting tinier and tinier every second. Harry tried to cry out, but it felt as if someone stuck their hand down his throat. He gagged. He could feel a great weight being pressed up against his chest as he was flung along the tunnel of colors.

Both boys could scarcely breathe now, their speed was so great. They hurtled endlessly down the lights, head over heels and three other directions at once. Ron flung his freckly arms out and tried to slow himself down, but he grimaced in pain. They couldn't touch the walls of the tunnel, or they'd hurt themselves. Now that message was clear.

Harry was beginning to get lightheaded now, and Ron was turning green. Suddenly, they were forced through a barrier of the brightest white light they had ever seen before in their lives and collided feet-first with a hard metal door. It flung open and both boys toppled gracelessly out onto a linoleum floor.

Harry groaned and sat up shakily. The room he was in seemed to be spinning around, and he couldn't get a decent look at it. He closed his eyes, starting to feel sick again. Beside him, Ron started to cough and looked around, dazed and confused.

"H—Harry.... W—where are we?"

A/N 2: That's a wrap on chapter two! Tell me what you think! Didja like the portal thingy? You did? Good! Now go review like good little boys and girls!