Ok, our lovelies, here we go, chapter 10. I just want you all to know how
much we appreciate the reviews and constructive criticism. To Dawnie, your
chapter is gonna be like.... 29 or thirty. I love you girl. : ) All
disclaimers apply, Joss has evil lawyers that eat girls like us for lunch.
We just wanna have a little nakee play with James. (not... together,
tho... Seperately. cuz... the three thing? Nuh-uh. Just gross, thank you
very much. I don't share well.)
Always. Tequila
Spike awoke to the curious sensation of a scratchy wet thing rubbing his nose. He opened his eyes to see that Harmon was licking his face. He smiled and started to reach up and brush the cat away, but something was holding his hand. It was then that he realized that there was something warm, curled up against his back. And the scent that was particularly Buffy was wafting through the air. Spike realized with a shock that Buffy was wrapped around his back, her arm around his waist, holding his hand. He could feel her warm breath on the back of his neck, and a wave of contentment washed over him.
Buffy felt Spike stir. Closed her eyes, feigning sleep. Then stopped. She gripped his hand more tightly. "Morning."
Spike rolled over as best he could with a Slayer cuddled against his back. "Mornin', luv. How'd you sleep?"
She sighed deeply. "Mmm... Pretty good. You?"
"Best sleep I've gotten in months." This was followed by a wide yawn, ending in a quiet purr.
She gave a half smile. "How's your side and hip feel?"
He wiggled around a little, testing the wounds. "I think the side's all better..." He winced. "But the hip's gonna take awhile."
She frowned. "I want to look at it again."
He chuckled. "Just can't wait to get your hands on me, eh, Slayer?" He raised an eyebrow playfully.
She swatted gently at him.
He chuckled again. "Alright." As much as he didn't want to, he rolled over onto his stomach, dislodging Buffy from his back. This also put the injured hip on her side.
She glanced at the bandage, saw blood dried on it. She peeled the tape off slowly, trying not to reopen it. She winced and let out a small moan.
Spike flinched. "What? What is it?"
She said softly, "It hasn't closed at all. It's gonna take a while for it to heal."
Spike swiveled his head around, trying to see. "That can't be good. I thought I was supposed to heal fast... unless Tralfgor demons aren't poisonous, are they?"
She shook her head. "No... They gashed my back. It healed." "It just took about a week."
Spike let out a snort. "Great. So you're saying that I'm basically confined to quarters for a week?"
"Yup. Get comfy."
"Perfect." He growled. "I'm bleedin' trapped."
"Basically. Harm will keep you company."
He gave a little shudder. "I hate bein' trapped. It's like being in that cage back at the Initiative."
She carried the kit and mug back to the bed, handed him the blood, and started to re-dress his hip. "You're not trapped. It's like... vacation. I'll rent movies for you, and you can watch Passions, and do your nails, and play with Harm..."
He grinned. "Could you and Dawn maybe come over for awhile? We could watch the movies together."
She grinned. "I'm sure Dawn would love to, but Buffy has overtime Doublemeat Duty. I can come over when I'm done, after a quick sweep, though."
"You shouldn't be working at that crap trap."
She sighed. "Get over it. I have. I'll come over on one condition."
"What?"
"I won't have time to shower before I come, so I wanna bring a few towels, shampoo and soap so I can shower while you and Dawn are here. It'd just make it easier. Maybe a change of clothes, too."
He pointed at the bureau. "Why don't you just pick a drawer, put my stuff in a different drawer, and put your stuff in that one? It could be your own personal drawer."
That was... a step... She shifted. "Sure. I'll probably just do it when I get back one night." She placed the tape over the bandage carefully.
"Great. Maybe I'll invite Clem too. He and Dawn seem to get along really well, and he likes you."
She nodded. "Whatever makes you more comfortable."
"I'm comfortable with you, and Dawn. Which reminds me, didn't you say that you wanted to call the others? Tell them where you are?"
"Oh, shit!" She scrambled for the phone, dialed hastily. It picked up on the first ring. "Hi, Dawnie..." She glanced at Spike. "No... No! We didn't.... I mean... we did, but not.. like that. Spike got beat up last night by a goonie, and-" Buffy smiled. "He's gonna be just fine. He's inviting us over for movies this week. I'm sorry. We just... fell asleep, and I forgot to call and- Yeah... I know I'm grounded." She hung her head. "I promise to never not call again."
Spike chuckled. "While you're at it, say, "I promise, mom". "
Buffy started sputtering. "I- Dawn! Ewwww... where do you- oh, gross, I don't want to know. No, we didn't have crazy monkey sex."
Spike choked.
"Fine. I'll be home. Whenever I want to! That's when!"
Spike continued trying to hold back the hysterical laughter that was threatening to escape his marginal control.
"No, you can't go to Janice's. Because she's a skeazy skank, that's why!!"
A snort escaped Spike's twitching lips.
She glanced at Spike. Glared. "Because I am your guardian, and if you don't want to go live in a foster home where they can't love you half as much as I do, you'll stay home!"
"She could come here... If she wants," he offered.
She shook her head. "I'm sorry, too. Did you do the dishes or the laundry?" She cocked her head. "Then why are you even asking anyway? It's no until they're finished. I did appreciate you taking out the garbage last night. It made my day. Yes, really. Ok... ok. I love you, too. Bye." She hung up the phone and sighed.
Spike finally let out the laughter that had been threatening to escape since that "I'm grounded", comment.
Glared at him. "You try to raise a 15 year old. I'm grounded, three days. Full chores."
"Aww. Does that mean that I have to change my own bandages?"
She said petulantly, "I'm the grown up. I get to pick when I'm grounded."
"Then shouldn't you be able to unground yourself?"
She brightened. "Yeah! Whoooo-hoo! I'm ungrounded!" She snorted, "Crazy monkey sex my butt."
He laughed. "Two things. A: Do you realize how disgusting that sounded? And B: Did she really say that?"
She rolled her eyes. "Yes, and yes.... She said, and I quote, 'If you were gone all night having crazy monkey sex with Spike, don't even bother coming home, because I'm not speaking to you. Cuz it's like.. gross.' End quote."
He chuckled. "Yep, that's my Lil' Bit."
She sighed. "Yeah.. I promised to go patrolling with her tonight."
He growled. "You'd better go with her. No way is she going out there alone."
She arched her brow. "Um... ok... Dawn can patrol on her own. She does if I get sick."
His eyes got wide. "No she can not. She's only 15!"
Buffy said softly, "She's a scooby. Kinda like Scrappy. If she can slay, she can patrol."
Spike sat up. "If she's Scrappy, and I'm Scooby, then it's my job to make sure that she isn't the one who get's SPLATed."
Her voice snapped. "Lay back down. I am her guardian, Spike. I know what's best for her. I appreciate your faith in me and my decisions."
He laid down obediently. "Look, luv. It's not that I don't trust your judgment, it's just... I had a little sister too, you know."
She began putting the gauze and tape back in the box mechanically, looked up. "I can tell. Spike, she's not normal. She's.. the key. Which gives her my strength, my energy, and with a little work, my speed. She isn't the next slayer, but she lives in a hellmouth. She can- wants to help me."
He nodded, understanding. "I know, luv. I get it. I just,.. I like having someone to look after. If Dawn starts patrolling on her own, then she doesn't need me anymore." He closed his eyes.
She closed the box, feathered a kiss across his cheek. "Of course she does. She needs you, and me, and all the Scoobies. We just have to be non-chalant in our looking-after." She said, slightly enviously, "Besides, who does she come to first, when she needs to complain or talk about something? You."
He looked at her. "You know that she loves you, right, luv? You're her sister, her family. I'm just, well, basically her dog. Someone she can talk to that will listen no matter what, but I'm not family. You are."
She smiled sadly. "You really believe that, don't you? I know I'm her family. So is Giles. And Xander, and Willow, and Anya like.. a weird aunt or something. You're like... her big brother and best friend rolled into one person. She can depend on you, tell you anything, and know you'll protect her. She loves you. Because you're family. Because family is more than blood."
Tears came to his eyes. "Big brother? Me?" He thought for a moment. "So, all of us, we're a family? Even me? Even if Rupert and Harris don't like me?"
She nodded. "And Giles likes you. But you and me- we're not family."
"What are we, then?"
"Ex-lovers with potential?"
He grinned. "What kind of potential?"
"All kinds of potential. Cuz if we were family.." She leaned over his reclining frame, kissed him softly. "This would be weird..." Kissed him again.
He reached up, wrapped his arms around her, pulled her in close, and returned the kiss, with interest. She returned the interest, molding her lips to his, careful to keep her roaming hands away from his wounds. He purred into her mouth, and released for a moment to leave a trail of gently kisses down her neck. He encountered the scars from the Master and Angel, and alternately nuzzled and kissed the sensitive skin near them. Her breath was uneven, shaky, and she trembled as his lips took her neck. He made a different path on the return trip to her mouth, trailing kisses up her throat and under an ear, before returning to her mouth earnestly. She sighed as he kissed her again, her hands in his hair, down his shoulders, moving restlessly against him. Her mouth moved over his, nipping and licking gently, sucking one lip playfully before claiming his mouth again. Buffy felt Spike's hands creep over her back, and she arched into them, running her own fingers through his hair.
Their make-out session was suddenly interrupted by a British voice loudly proclaiming, "Get your filthy hands off her!"
Buffy sat up like she had been shocked, dismayed to see that she was now kneeling over Spike's lap. "Oh, God," she whimpered. "Gi-Giles...."
Giles cross the room with speed that a man half his age would have envied. He drew his fist back and clocked Spike square in the jaw, sending him falling off the bed.
Buffy promptly panicked. "What the hell are you doing??"
Giles ignored Buffy and proceeded to pummel Spike with everything he had. He kicked Spike hard in the ribs, right were the newly closed wound was. Spike howled in agony, but Giles wasn't deterred. "How DARE you touch her, you animal!!"
She began pulling at Giles, screaming at Spike, "Fight back!" Then wailing, "God, Giles, STOP IT!"
Spike curled into a ball, attempting to protect his wounded side and hip, both of which were beginning to bleed right through his pajama pants and shirt.
Giles got off a hard kick, and there was the sickening crunch of breaking ribs mixed with another howl from the vampire.
She yanked on her Watcher hard enough to pull him back from Spike slightly, enough to slide her body between theirs, laying over Spike protectively. She put her hands over his head, sheltering his body from the blows with her own.
Giles froze, staring down at his Slayer protecting the very vampire that he had rushed across town to save her from.
Spike was shaking beneath Buffers body. His blood began to seep into her clothes. She was murmuring to Spike softly, apologies running from her lips with every breath. She felt the blows stop and she looked at Giles, unaware tears had stained her cheeks. "What the hell is wrong with you??"
The Watcher stood, still staring at his Slayer. "I was protecting you. Xander said... Spike was... That he was... That he raped you."
She closed her eyes, pained. "He wasn't- he didn't- well, he almost, but-"
The Watcher's eyes flashed.
She shook her head, clearing her thoughts. "We don't... We don't have time for this. Go. Get... find material... We have to... We have to take care of him." She looked down at the vampire beneath her. "Spike?"
Spike was still shaking, his eyes closed. A huge bruise was quickly forming where the Watcher's fist had met his jaw. She ran her fingers gently over his face, concern making her shake, but steadying her mind at the same time. "Spike... do you have another first aid kit, or... or cloth?"
Meanwhile, Giles was stunned. "You want me to what? After what he did?"
She sighed, frustrated. "You got old news, Giles, and I will NOT sit here and explain it to you until you help me take care of him." One hand cupping Spike's cheek, she looked at her watcher, tears streaming down her cheeks. "Giles... Please." There was desperate entreaty in her voice. "Please."
Spike raised a shaking hand, still not opening his eyes, and pointed to a sarcophagus. "Th- there. First a- aid kit."
Giles gave one last look at the Slayer and vampire, then walked over and retrieved the first aid kit, handing it to Buffy.
She looked in the sarcophagus, found an extra set of sheets for the bed, a plain, rough cotton. She tossed them at Giles. "Start ripping"
Without a word, Giles began ripping the sheets into strips, perfectly sized for bandages.
She pulled the flannel pants down so she could see his wound. It had stopped gushing, but there was a steady blood flow. She applied pressure, trying to get it to stop. "Spike?"
Spike responded by opening one eye, and looking at Buffy.
She almost whimpered at his beaten visage, but her face reflected nothing but fierce determination. "You need to keep talking to me. I want you to stay awake, ok?"
The vampire's voice was scratchy. "Why? Earlier... wanted me to sleep."
She had bandaged his hip quickly, efficiently. She straddled them now, to touch his ribs as softly as she could. Let out a small laugh. "Yeah, I did. You never do listen when I talk. Tell me when it hurts, ok?" She moved from the top of his ribs slowly down, feeling each one, around and straight across. When she touched the broken rib, Spike half growled, half screamed in pain. She winced slightly but continued down until she reached the end of them.
Spike opened both eyes and glanced around, locking on Giles. There was a flash of anger, and then fear as the Watcher approached him. But Giles was only handing more bandages to his Slayer. Still, Spike stayed tensed.
She looked at the object of his distress. "Go get me blood, warm it. Only fill it 2/3s of the way. I want the rest to be whiskey." She looked at the vampire. "Spike.. I want you to cough."
"Why?"
She glared at him. "Can you just do it?"
He inhaled slowly, every inch his dead lungs expanded making the rib ache even more. When he had filled his lungs sufficiently, he let out an explosive, and extremely painful, cough.
She reached a hand up, opened his mouth and swept two fingers at the back of his tongue and around his throat.
"Uh choo ooin?", Spike asked. Meaning What you doing?.
Pulled them out, looked at her fingers and let out a shaky laugh. "You didn't puncture a lung." She called over her shoulder, "Giles... he didn't puncture a lung!"
"That's good," Giles said as he returned, carrying the mug of warm blood and whiskey. Spike winced as Giles handed it to him.
She started to slide the cotton strips under his back as gently at she could, getting ready to wrap his ribs. She frowned. "Giles, you need to put a pillow on your lap, and support his upper back and head. Help him drink. It'll make his ribs easier to wrap, too."
The Watcher let out a exasperated sigh, but did as his Slayer asked. Spike stayed tensed. There was no way that Rupert was catching him off guard again.
She gave Spike a small smile. "God, you're ugly. Relax and talk to me. Giles will not hurt you again." She arched a brow at her watcher as she began to tie a row of knots down Spike's rib cage.
Giles looked down at the agitated vampire in his lap. "Calm down, Spike. You heard Buffy. I promise not to hurt you again."
Spike relaxed slightly. Buffy would protect him, after all. "What are you doing now?"
She saw his eyelids start to droop and said loudly, in a whiny tone. "Wrapping your ribs. And it's hard when there's no one to talk to."
Spike put a hand over one ear. "Ow. Sorry. Uh, but why can't I go to sleep? I thought I'd heal faster that way."
"Yes, and not wake up. How lovely. I don't know how vampires work, but people call having your head smashed violently into the ground and hit repeatedly a concussion." She repeated it slowly. "Con-cush-unnn. Say it with me."
Spike chuckled and instantly regretted it, as the movement caused a painful clutch in his side. "But I'm already dead. What's the worst that could happen?"
She had forgotten about his side. She swore. Began unwrapping his ribs so she could bandage his side. "Well," she huffed, "I would be extremely bored on this my-what- third time at the wheel o' life?"
"You could turn to dust, or go into a vampiric coma," Giles supplied.
She glanced worriedly at her watcher. "They do that?"
Giles gave her a reassuring smile. "It is a defense mechanism when they don't have enough food. They basically sleep for as long as their human body fat will allow, and then wake up in a blood rage. A vampire in that condition will bite anything that moves. Even a swaying tree. I've actually seen it. But it wouldn't happen to Spike, because he's eating."
Spike's eyes got wide, and he gulped the rest of the mug of blood.
"But it's just... it's not... blood, blood." She had fixed his side and was once again wrapping his ribs. She smiled at Spike. "Well, you kill a traflgar demon, but manage to get your ass kicked by a lovely British gentleman. And here I am again. Fixing you. Didn't I say I'd kick your ass if you did that again?"
Spike grinned. "Yeah. But in my defense, I didn't go out on my own. This "gentleman" came to me!" He reached up and gently tapped Giles on the shoulder in a playful manner. Then paused, wondering if he had gone too far. His concerns were allayed when Giles playfully squeezed his neck, sending a shiver down the vampire's spine. "Hey! Quit it, Rupert."
She snapped at both of them, "What? Not enough horseplay for one day?? I will knock both your heads together!"
Spike and Giles both looked ashamed. "Sorry," the two Brits said in unison.
She glanced at Giles as Spike looked on the verge of sleep again. "Should I- I mean... would my-my blood help him?"
Giles' eyes widened, and Spike started awake. "Uh, that's not a good idea, luv," the vampire said.
"But, it'll jumpstart your healing... Not a lot," she implored of her watcher. "Just.. just a little."
"Buffy," Giles began. "You really shouldn't." He looked at Spike's empty mug. "But you can get him some more from upstairs. This seems to be gone." He looked down at Spike. "What, do you have two stomachs?"
Spike just grinned.
She gave Giles a small grin. "Please, keep him awake."
"How do you propose that I do that?"
She took Spike's mug and headed upstairs for a new jug of blood. "Talk to him... Spike, explain Passions to Giles."
Spike brightened. He looked up at the Watcher. "Well, you see, it started a couple of years ago...."
Giles gave Buffy a look that said "Please hurry!"
She scampered upstairs, looked for the jug and found it in a mini-fridge. She pulled up her dark tee-shirt, the long scratch down her side she had gotten at the cemetery just healing. She scratched at it, but it refused to bleed. She looked around, trying to remember any other recent wounds. None. She picked up a small paring knife off the counter and unbuttoned her jeans. She slid them down, and bracing herself, made a cut on her upper thigh. Shuddered as she made it deep enough to bleed. She held the mug to the cut, letting her blood, her life spill into it. She waited as long as she could, then slid a tissue over the cut, holding it in place while she slid her jeans back up. She buttoned them and filled the mug the rest of the way with the blood from the jug. She came downstairs, heated it quickly, and came back to her watcher and vampire. She handed it to Giles, motioning for him to help Spike drink.
Giles nodded, and gently poked Spike's neck, drawing his attention away from where he had been petting Harmon. Spike accepted the mug and took a sip, then another, and another. Then his eyes got wide, and he stared at Buffy, saying nothing as he slowly finished the mug.
She avoided his eyes, instead focusing on putting another layer of cotton strips over his ribs to re-enforce the first layer, making his torso stiff, harder to bend, so the healing would be quicker, neater.
The trio entered a strained silence that was broken when Harmon meowed for Buffy to pick him up. She picked him up quickly, stroking his fur, her gaze unfocused.
Harmon knew there was something weird going on, but he couldn't figure out what. All he knew was that his owner kept staring at the nice girl, and the mean man didn't look at anyone. "Purrrouw?"
It broke her out of her reverie. "Giles, we need to-" To what? "To get him on the bed. Make him comfortable."
Spike looked around. "I thought I was comfortable." He shot a pointed look at Buffy. "You know, I don't usually eat so much."
She hugged the cat to her chest, kissed its head. "Giles can't sit here for a- however long it'll take, and the floor will get cold. You need... your strength up. You should eat a lot."
Giles and Buffy helped Spike to his feet, and carefully guided him over to the bed. Buffy arranged the covers around him, tucking him in carefully. Once they had him settled, Giles looked to Buffy. "I'm going to get back to the Magic Box. Are you coming?"
She shook her head. "No. Will you-" she snagged his hand, "Will you just.. sit with me for a little bit?"
The Watcher smiled at her, and glanced at Spike. "Certainly." He pulled a chair over and sat next to the bed. "I'll stay as long as you need me."
She stood while she let Spike drift off to sleep, noting the time, and reassured herself she would wake him in an hour, every hour. She climbed into Giles' lap, and rested her head on his shoulder.
Giles gently put his arms around his Slayer, rocking her slowly back and forth. "I'm sorry," he said quietly, so as not to wake the vampire.
She nodded her head, accepting his words. "I'm sorry I haven't- explained anything to you."
"It's not your fault. I suppose that I should have made sure of the facts before I rushed over here." He gave a little chuckle. "Especially since the 'facts' came from Xander."
She smiled ruefully. "Yeah... That's a good indication that the facts could be wrong." She leaned up, kissed his cheek. "That was very heroic."
He laughed quietly. "I saved you from... What is Spike to you, anyway?"
She laid her hands over Giles', where they were wrapped around her. "I love you. I want to say that first. I never want to disappoint you, and I- I love you."
He smiled at her. "I love you, too, Buffy. It's almost like... like you're the daughter that I never had." He hugged her gently.
She scrunched herself against him in the best backwards hug she could manage. "You *are* the dad I never had. But Spike... Spike is.. was... he's my ex-lover."
He nodded. "I know. You told me as much when we were in the back of the Magic Box a few months ago, after he disappeared for awhile. When Willow was.... you know. After Warren was killed."
She ducked her head. "I... I know... I had... broken up with him. And one night, he was so- sad, and, broken, and he- he wanted me."
"He attacked you." It was not a question.
Buffy wouldn't-couldn't- defend that action. "Yes. I- I stopped him. He never- He didn't-"
"But he would have, Buffy." Giles said with a shake of his head. "If you hadn't been able to stop him, he would have. He made his intentions clear."
She was silent a long time. "Maybe. That Spike might have. And he left. And when he came back, he was different."
"The soul."
She shrugged. "That was part of it. Even before the soul, after he- when I stopped him from- His eyes, Giles. They didn't look like a demon's. They looked like a guilt-ridden man's."
Giles looked at her. "But he couldn't feel guilt, Buffy. A vampire, without a human soul, can not feel guilt, or shame, or anything like that." He looked at the slumbering vampire on the bed. "And yet.. I wonder.."
She looked at him, her eyes shining, "What do you wonder?"
Giles shook his head. What he was considering made no sense, and it went against everything that he'd been taught as a Watcher.
She laid a hand on his arm. "Da-Giles... please." Her eyes were welling, and she prayed that he would share with her, not let her be alone.
He sighed, repeated what he'd said earlier. "A vampire without a soul can not feel guilt, shame, remorse, or grief. And yet, when you were... gone... I would often find Spike crying up in your room. Or him and Dawn sleeping on the couch, holding a jacket, or shirt of yours. Many a time I saw him pacing in front of your grave, yelling at himself for failing you." Giles looked at his Slayer. "That doesn't sound like a normal vampire to me."
She buried her head in his chest. "He's not. He's- I was so scared that you'd kill him."
Giles hugged her again, and started rocking once more. "I intended to. But when I saw you, huddled over him, protecting him, I knew that something that Xander had said must have been wrong." He looked at her. "But I am wondering. If Spike is nothing more to you than an ex-lover, why protect him like that? I could have hurt you."
She looked her watcher, her surrogate father, her support, and best friend in the eye. "Spike and I are involved." She ducked her head, finding she had the courage to say the words, but not see the disappointment in his eyes. "And I think I'm in love with him."
Giles cupped her chin, raising her eyes to his. "You're in love with him?" The look in his eyes wasn't *exactly* what she'd thought it would be. He actually looked... interested?
Buffy looked down, then up, down, and finally glanced in his eyes, her version of stuttering. "I think so."
"When did you figure it out? If I may ask." He gave her a soft smile. "And what kind of 'involved', are the two of you?"
"When I realized that when I was sleeping in an immortal enemies arms, and didn't once dream of a coffin. When I found out he is ticklish, when he talks to me in his sleep." Her eyes got large. "We have... have rules. We don't... we're not involved like- like that."
He smiled at her, hiding a chuckle. "I know. But I do have to ask you something."
Her eye peeked up at him. "Huh?"
He reached down, playfully grabbing at a sensitive spot on her side. "Spike's ticklish?"
She squirmed, gave him a baleful look, then confided, "All over."
Giles chuckled. "Now there's something I didn't know."
She nodded. "I didn't either. It was a lucky guess." Her eyes drifted closed, and her head nodded on Giles' chest. She snapped back awake. Looked at a clock. "I need to- to wake him. Make sure he's ok."
Giles helped her stand up. "By all means. Uh, how do you wake the dead, anyway?"
She was slightly embarrassed to have Giles watching her do this. She leaned close to him over the bed, ran a hand down his arm. Whispered softly, "Good morning..."
Spike lazily opened one blue eye. "Mornin', luv," he responded reflexively. It was getting to be a pattern. He stretched slightly, then winced. "Ouch."
She smiled happily. "Yeah. Ouch."
He yawned, showing fangs for an instant, but gaining control quickly. "What'd you two do while I was asleep?", he asked with a nod in Giles' direction.
Her hands grew suddenly restless. She tugged on the covers, pulled them to his neck, then down, straightening. "We... talked."
"'Bout what?"
Giles hid a chuckle with a cough.
Without looking at her Watcher, she responded quickly, "Everything. Now, I just woke you up to make sure you would- ya know, wake up. So... go back to bed."
He glanced around, confused. "But I'm already in bed. And I'm not sleepy anymore."
She frowned. "Are you sure?"
"Yep."
"You need more blood. You need to get better. I'll go.. get you another cup."
He gave her a look. "Oh, I think I've had enough."
"It'll make you better. Drinking." She licked her lips. "Want water?"
Spike just looked at Buffy, his eyes speaking volumes.
Giles glanced at the two of them. ""If Spike is going to be staying up, then I'd best be off. I left the Magic Box short-handed when I stormed out."
She jerked slightly, almost forgetting about Giles. "Of.. of course. Can you have Dawn call the DoubleMeat, tell them there was a medical emergency? I won't be able to make it in for a few days?"
"Certainly. You have three vacation days with pay saved up. Want me to call them in too?"
She nodded. "Yes, please."
Giles nodded, then started up the stairs, paused, turned around, walked back, and hugged Buffy. "I love you. Remember that."
She hugged him back, fiercely. "I love you, too, Da-Giles. I love you, too, Giles."
Giles whispered in her ear, still hugging her tightly. "If you want to call me 'dad', I wouldn't say no."
She looked at him shyly. Whispered, "I love you, Dad."
He hugged her again. "I love you, Buffy. And I'll never be disappointed in you. Please don't ever hesitate to tell me anything. Ever. Okay?"
She nodded. "Ever. I promise."
A quiet sniff sounded from the bed, and the pair looked over to see Spike wiping tears from his eyes. He had obviously heard all that. Damn vampire ears.
Giles stood next to the bed, and placed a comforting hand on Spike's shoulder. "And you, just concentrate on getting better. No more fights." "Okay," Spike agreed, fighting a sudden urge to hug Giles.
She gave a soft laugh. Blinked back her own tears, and gave Giles a final kiss on the cheek. "Go on. I'm sure the Magic box is tumbling into despair without you. Hurry."
Giles made his exit with one last wave to the pair.
Buffy stood, her eyes fixed on the ladder till she heard the crypt door shut. She jerked towards the small kitchenette. "I bet you're thirsty.. I can- get you some water." She grabbed a glass and turned the faucet on, filling the glass.
"Just make sure that it comes from the proper place."
She grinned, seemingly oblivious. "How silly. Of course it will." She took a long drink of the water herself, then filled the glass again.
"No running out to a stream, or trying to get it out of a glacier." He stared at her back. "I know what you did."
She kept her back to him. "I'm just getting you water, Spike, I don't-"
"The blood," he growled, attempting to sit up. "Your blood."
She still didn't turn. "Lay back down."
"No denial privileges."
She turned slowly, her eyes cool. "It's just blood, Spike. My body makes more."
"That's not it, Slayer. I won't drink it again. If I'd refused before, then Rupert would have known that something was wrong, and I didn't want him mad at you."
"And I won't have you turn to dust. So you'll take what I give you."
"I'll heal without hurting you."
"I just opened a recent wound, Spike. It's not a big deal-"
"You cut a hole in your leg with a paring knife. I smelled it when you did."
Her stomach jumped. "Come on, Spike. I don't cut myself. You might have smelled the blood-"
"Then bring me the knife."
She rolled her eyes rather convincingly. "What *knife*, Spike? Why don't you just lie back down and-"
He growled, sat up further, ignoring the stabs of pain from the wounds. "*The* knife. The paring knife that I left on the counter from when I ate an apple earlier."
"Fine. Just... lie back down. I don't want you hurt anymore than you are."
He reclined against the pillows, still watching her closely.
She went back up the ladder, pretended to hunt around the top half, snagging a wet paper towel and the knife, wiping it clean while she 'searched'. "I can't- oh! Found it!" She tossed the towel back in the garbage and came down with the clean knife. "This it?"
He took the knife, looked at it, turned it over and looked at it some more. "Looks clean." He glanced around. "Where's Harmon? Here, kitty kitty kitty!" Obediently, the cat leaped up onto the bed. "Hey boy, what do you make of this?" He held the knife out for the cat to sniff.
She glanced at the cat, giving it a 'vibe-warning'. 'Don't betray me', she prayed.
Harmon sniffed the knife for a moment, then looked straight into Buffy's eyes. "Meroow?" He walked over, sat next to her, and placed a paw on the spot on her thigh that she had cut earlier. "Rowr."
Spike just looked from the cat to Buffy and back again. "I don't suppose you'll drop your jeans if I ask nicely."
She had almost winced when the cat laid its paw on her. "Probably not."
He looked at her sadly. "Why'd you do it, luv? I'll be fine in a few days. You know it."
"I didn't know!" She exploded at him. "I didn't know. You were still, and... quiet, and... Do you know how much blood there was everywhere?" She shook her head. "You don't. I do. I cleaned it all off you. I had to be calm, and in charge while you were drying up. My blood makes you strong."
"And losing it makes you weak!"
She shrugged, her actions still understandable in her mind. "If it took my blood to heal you faster, there wasn't a decision to be made."
He just looked at her. Apparently, he wasn't getting through. "Ok, what if I told you that Slayer blood does other things to vampires? Particularly males."
She shrugged carelessly. "You're in no position to hurt me. I could restrain you easily enough."
He snorted. "Bloody aphrodisiac, that's what it is."
She wasn't getting through to him, either. "If I was... ill, and you had something that could make me better, faster, would you give it to me?"
Didn't even blink. "If you needed my dust, I'd stake myself over a jar."
She could have screamed. "Then WHAT is your problem!!??"
"Because if I'm here or not doesn't matter! You do. You're the Slayer. You have your little family to look out for. What do I have? A cat. The world wouldn't lose much if I was suddenly gone, but it would end without you." He looked at her, pleading with his eyes. "Please, luv. Just say that you'll never do that again."
"It matters to me! You have the same family I do, and damnit don't demean yourself." She shook her head. "I can't. If you got hurt again, I'd do it again." She sighed, exasperated. "I'm not saying everytime you stub your toe, I'm gonna- reopen a wound, but when it comes down to it, Spike, if my blood will save you, I'll hand it over in a chalice."
He sighed, realizing that there was no changing her mind. He held up his hands in surrender. "Ok, luv. Okay. You win." He looked at her curiously. "I mean that much to you?"
She half-laughed, half-sobbed. "I told my "dad" I had sex with you. What do you think?"
He reached up, put a hand on her shoulder. "Don't cry, luv. Please?" He sniffed. "You'll get me started again, and I'm running out of liquid."
She sniffed hard once, and pulled away from his hands, walked back to the sink. She took the water and handed it to him.
He smiled at her, and downed the water in one gulp. "So, what did you and Rupert really talk about while I was visiting the land of the unconscious?"
She surveyed him. He was still too pale- even for a corpse. His eyes had a sunken look that she didn't appreciate, which made his puffy bruised jaw look disproportionate. She wondered if he would smell just a few drops of her blood in the next mug she gave him. "Everything. You. The bathroom. Me. Him. Your soul."
Spike made a choked sound. "Me? What about my soul?" His eyes got wide. "I"m not going to lose it, am I? Cause I'm sure as hell not going through the trials again."
She shook her head. "No. Just... your soul. And how you're not a typical vampire."
"Uh, thanks? I think."
She decided that if he didn't look better that night, she would slip him just a touch more of her blood. "It was a compliment."
"Oh. And what else?" He was genuinely interested.
She shrugged. "How much he loves me."
Spike smiled. "He would have to be deaf, dumb, blind, and stupid not to love you. You just seem to have that effect on people."
She grinned, tossed her hair out of her eyes. "Yeah. I really do." She laughed.
He chuckled, noting happily that it didn't hurt as much. "Yeah. You even wormed your way into the stony heart of your mortal enemy. Namely, me."
Buffy blinked sweetly and blew him a kiss. Then looked at him carefully. "Are you... sure you wouldn't like some more blood?"
He smiled. "Not right now. I would like to know what Rupert had to say about me." He got quiet. "Does he... hate me? For what happened?"
She shook her head thoughtfully. "He would kill you for me. That was clear. But he sees how you've changed. He doesn't hate you."
He sighed. "That's good. And what else did you or he say about little vampy me?"
She swallowed. "He wanted to know how.. involved we are. Because, of course, he would walk in when we were the most involved we've ever been..."
"And you said?"
"That we don't- That we have rules."
He nodded. "That explains the lack of him trying to kill me after I woke up." He cocked his head at her. "But I sense there's more. What else?"
She licked her lips, curled back into the chair she and Giles had shared. "I told him- what I told you. That I- I might be falling in love with you."
Spike just smiled at her. "Might be?" Cocked an eyebrow playfully.
She gave a slight laugh. A half smile. "Did you hear him, Spike?" Buffy said in wonder. "He said I could never disappoint him."
He grinned at her. "Yeah. But I already knew that. He loves you, Buffy. And a little thing like sleeping with a vampire? Pfft. That's old news to him. He loves you unconditionally. Like Dawn does, like all of the Scoobies do." He glanced down at the sheets. "Like I do."
She smiled, wanting so badly to say, "I love you, too", but slow... slow. "Dawn's has a condition."
He looked up. "Oh? And what might that be?"
"Uhhh.... I believe it's called the 'Hurt Spike and Die' clause. Very serious, involves high frequency screeching and odd green glowing."
"Are you trying to say that you think that she loves me more than you!? Uh- uh. No way. You're big sis. And her love of me has a 'hurt Buffy and dust' clause."
She grinned. "Well, then, I guess we're doomed to forever not hurt eachother."
Spike chuckled. "I think I can live with that. But anyway, what would the Lil' Bit do? Tickle us to death?"
"Ha. Probably." Her eyes turned serious, inquisitive. "Spike?"
"Yeah?"
"Can you- can you tell it's my blood rushing in your veins? What does it... feel like?"
He paused, reflected inward, thought for a moment. "It's hard to describe. But it's almost like I can sense the emotions that you were feeling when you cut yourself. That's actually how I knew about the paring knife. I can almost see it. But it's like it's headed for *my* leg." He looked at her. "This happens from time to time with all vampires. You're supposed to ignore it."
"It doesn't hurt, does it? Because then, you guys wouldn't feed... Or is it with just a lot of blood? Can you feel it with just a tiny bit?"
He shivered a little. "That's why you're supposed to ignore it. Feeling the prey's pain, their fear when you bite. It'll scare you to death. It even happens to me with cow's blood. And yeah. Sometimes, the blood from the butcher is from two or three different cows at once. And I can feel them. How scared they were when the bullet went through their heads..." He trailed off, staring at the wall. Refocused on her. "It's almost enough to make you give up Big Macs. Bad attempt at a joke."
She grinned softly. "I got it. What if.... you get someone who is giving blood out of love? Can you feel that, too, or does it hurt?"
He smiled at her, almost shyly. "Yeah. You mean like you did? That would explain this wonderful, warm feeling. It's new."
She smiled at him. "What if there's only a few drops, and a lot of other blood. Does the other blood overpower the few drops?"
He knew what she was trying to do, but didn't want to let on. "Let me put it this way. In that last batch of butchers blood, I got three cows, two pigs, a goat, and a chicken. The cows had been wondering what was for dinner, the pigs lived with a bunch of geese, the goat had recently eaten a pair of boxers, and the chicken crossed the road. Does that answer your question?"
She frowned, lost in her own musings. "Yeah..." Maybe by the time he noticed, he'd have already swallowed it. Or she could dilute it with water, then mix it with the blood.
He looked at her, sighed. "Luv, please don't do it again. I recovered from that beating the hell bitch gave me without your blood. I think I can recover from being kicked by a British gentleman."
Her eyes jerked to his face. "I- That's not-" She gave him a good pout. "Giles is very strong."
"I have a connection to you now, luv. For the next few hours, I'll be able to sense any powerful thoughts or feelings that you have. So don't even bother trying to dilute it, or try to slip it past me."
Her eyes met his, and she tried to block her thoughts. "That's weird. Stop it."
He chuckled. "I wish I could. You think I like knowing that you told Rupert that I'm ticklish... Wait a minute. That was private!"
She gasped. "Stop it! Those are my thoughts!! Get out! And it's... um... community information, now...." She laughed softly.
He rolled over painfully onto his stomach, and stuffed his head under a pillow. "Oh, no. I hope he doesn't tell anyone else."
"I don't think he will. I think he feels kind of sheepish about beating the stuffing out of you."
He pulled his head back from under the pillow. "He *did not* beat anything out of me. I wasn't ready. If I'd had a moment to prepare, I'd have kicked his ass."
Spike chuckled. "I just had a thought. I wonder if you can read me too. I've never been close to someone who's blood that I'm carrying."
She tried to focus. "How do I try?"
He laid back, closed his eyes. "Just search your mind for a thought that doesn't feel like you. I'll make it easy." He concentrated, sending a picture of Mr. Gordo dancing a waltz with his Tigger.
She concentrated, too, saw a hazy outline of her pig dancing with his tigger. She focused on it till it became sharp and clear in her mind.
"Well?"
She felt like she could walk around the image, seeing them from all angles. Like she was walking in his mind. "Mr. Gordo and Tigger," she answered absently.
He kept his eyes closed. "Good, you're in. The next thing you should get are my emotions."
And she did. Warmth slid around her, a soft love, and an uneasy ripple. He was as nervous as she was.
"If you bring up a picture of a person, you should be able to get my feelings on them." He tried to keep the nervousness out of his voice. He'd never done anything like this before. Not on purpose, anyway.
His mind was alight with images and colors. She figured that the colors stood for something, for in a corner, bathed in black shadows was Cecily, and... oh, gross. He had lied. He had kissed Angel, once. Dru stood by, watching. She turned away quickly, to a see a blue haze, Spike, and William bent over notebooks... peace. She focused on his words, because all the colors and images were getting overwhelming. She brought Dawn to the fore. She was bathed in a pink light, and protective waves poured off her area.
Spike relaxed a little at the image of Dawn. His Niblet. He purred softly, still in the trance.
Her mind brought forth Giles. He was swathed in an almost violet-blue light. Royalty, something reminded her. Respect. Care. 'Father', the unspoken word floated though their shared minds. 'Mine too'.
A smile curved her lips. Yes, father.
She wondered if she was pushing it, and thought intently of Xander. He was bathed in a cavalcade of colors, and words came flying at her. Idiot, frustrating, care? care. Loyal. Worry. Anger. Peace, irritation.
'Don't tell him', more words floated past, Spike's voice. 'Like him... sometimes.'
'Lips are sealed,' she answered.
Spike relaxed even further, if that was possible. He brought up Willow... allowing his mind to do what it would. She was in a greenish light, but there was a shadow behind her. It was the dark Willow, with black hair and eyes. But she was in a cage. Spike's feelings bubbled up: Caring, understanding, friendship, and a minor point of anger. 'Holding back', he said to Buffy. 'She's strong.'
She reached out a hand to touch her friend, her own mind bathed her in red. Protective, fierce love. 'She'll be ok... Eventually, we all will.'
'Yeah. I know. Now'
As much as she enjoyed this, her whole body was shaking. 'Now what?'
'Pull back, if you want. Find thoughts that are yours alone. Cling to them, let them pull you back.'
She shook her head. Pulled one last person to the fore. 'Walk away... I want to do this one alone. Search my mind for someone, if you want to.'
'Okay'. Spike occupied his time shifting through Buffy's thoughts of Joyce. Her memories of the person he had loved so much. He was unaware that his physical body was crying.
Buffy waited till she couldn't feel his presence, and pulled Druscilla to the fore. Forever having a tea party. She stared intently at her. Her light was green. And darkly shadowed. She felt pain, and happiness, and confusion from her. But she felt no love. She let Druscilla drift back to her place near the shadows.
'Ready now?', Spike's disembodied voice floated around her.
She saw herself close to the fore. And walked purposefully away from it. That was not hers to observe. She focused on Mr. Gordo, sleeping with him in third grade at a sleepover. 'Got my thought. You?'
Quiet music floated around. 'Think of a wonderful thought, any happy little thought'. Spike's laugh floated around her. 'Yeah. See you in a moment'.
She drifted back to her body, her eyes opening sleepily. Her body shook, head to toe.
Spike's eyes opened, and a similar shiver ran through him. That was unlike anything he'd ever felt before. He looked at Buffy. "You okay, luv?"
"I think so... I think I need food." She stood, wobbling slightly, and toddled to the fridge.
He rocked back on the pillows, and patiently waited for her return.
Her stomach bubbled uneasily, so she discounted food and settled for another glass of water. Got comfortable in her chair.
Spike waited, but she didn't say anything. So he broke the silence. "So, what'd you think of my mind, luv? Find anything that you didn't already know?"
She gave him a measured glance. "That maybe I shouldn't have lost 'Deepest Secret'. But that's it."
He chuckled. There was almost no pain that time. "I still would have been two points ahead of you, Slayer."
She sniffed superiorly. "But I bet I could have scored three points off you if you had been honest."
He play growled. "In what universe?"
She tapped her chest. "Mine, buddy."
"And I was honest. About everything but that."
"Exactly! I could have asked three questions you wouldn't have answered off that ONE."
"And you would've been cheating again. That's a bad habit."
"No way. I would have waited my turn. It's worth it to watch you squirm."
He snorted. "I think you've seen enough of me squirming lately, Slayer."
She considered it. "Nope. I would have liked to win. But... I'll let you off, but only cuz you've had the crap kicked outta you twice today."
"Thank you, oh wise and powerful Buffy. Whatever would I do without you?"
She grinned. "Definitely be a few bruises short."
He chuckled. "I've lost count of how many bruises and broken bones this relationship has gotten me, luv. Over the long run, anyway."
Buffy said thoughtfully, "I wonder how many times we've beaten the crap out of eachother?"
"473," he answered quickly. "Not counting post-chip beatings."
She winced. "Ow.. And how many pairs of my clothes do you think you've ruined, Mr. Rough Sex?"
He grinned. "My clothes, or yours?"
"Mine."
"9."
"Ten."
He cocked his head. "I'm forgetting one?"
"My camel-hair coat that has grass-stains now??"
"That doesn't count. And it will come out with baking soda and ginger ale."
"No it won't. I've tried everything. And why doesn't it count? It met the grass of my front lawn with an audible dirt-grinding noise."
"You said pairs of clothes. That is a single item. Drop it off here. If I can't get the stain out, I'll buy you a new one."
She shrugged. "No big. It took the trip to Goodwill a while ago."
He chuckled. "Should have known. I'll get you a new one, anyway. I owe you as much."
She frowned. "Cuz I don't have enough clothes? Spike, don't spend anymore money on me."
He smiled at her, raised an eyebrow. "So you're going to deny me the pleasure of shopping for you? But what will I do with my money?"
"Hotwings, bloomin' onions, Christmas presents, orange-pink roses for Dawn's birthday... A great number of things."
He grinned. "Oh! Yeah. Niblet's birthday is coming up, isnt' it? I wonder what I should get her."
She rolled her eyes. "Um.. duh, much? She likes opals. Set in silver. And Rhinos."
"I was being sarcastic, luv. Open the top drawer on the nightstand. You're looking for an orange bag."
She followed his instructions, and pulled out the bag. "This?"
"Yep. Not wrapped yet, so you can open it and tell me what you think."
She reached in and pulled it out. Awwed. She held the pink rhino up and squealed, then noticed the silver necklace set with opals. She turned the necklace over, murmured the inscription. "To my Lil' Bit". "Spike... she's.... oh man... she's gonna flip."
He was looking vulnerable again. "Do you really think she'll like it?"
She walked to his side, kissed his cheek. "She'll forever be your slave," she remarked dryly.
He grinned happily. "I thought I was your slave? Wasn't that in my song last year?" He hummed a couple of verses.
She groaned. "Let's not go there..." She replaced the gift, put it back in the drawer.
He smiled at her. "I.. I don't think I ever told you, but you have a beautiful singing voice." He ducked his head. "Wonderful. Never off key once."
She looked very vulnerable herself. "Thank you. You sing great too. Potently."
He looked up, grinned. "Really? I was in a choir when I was seven. Got out of it when my family moved to London, though."
She laughed. "Me and Mom sang making dinner."
He smiled. "Did your mom ever tell you that I spent the night there once? When you were at an all night Scooby meeting."
She frowned at her mother. "No, she didn't. I'd have grounded her."
"I took off before sunrise the next morning. But I slept on the couch, and she sang me a lullaby."
Buffy smiled. "That sounds like something Mom would do. Why'd you stay the night?"
"I'd been having a bad day. It was right after Dru dumped me the second time. Just before those army idiots grabbed me. I was sad, and Joyce made me cocoa, and sang me the song from Mary Poppins." He looked at her. "You know, the Stay Awake song? Best piece of reverse psychology ever set to music."
She sighed. "Where I come with stakes staking, my mother comes in with lullabies... Yeah.. I used to hear it a lot."
He sniffed, the tears threatening again. "Always works for me. I wasn't even really tired and it knocked me out for six hours."
She sat on his bed, ran a hand over his tousled curls. "You were special to her."
"I know. I miss her." He leaned his head into her hand, looked at her imploringly. "Lie down with me?"
She reclined slowly until her head was level with his on the bed. She laid very still.
"Thanks, luv." He sniffed. "I was suddenly feeling really lonely."
She turned her head, lightly brushed his cheek with her lips. "You're never alone now."
He ran a hand through her hair. "I know."
Always. Tequila
Spike awoke to the curious sensation of a scratchy wet thing rubbing his nose. He opened his eyes to see that Harmon was licking his face. He smiled and started to reach up and brush the cat away, but something was holding his hand. It was then that he realized that there was something warm, curled up against his back. And the scent that was particularly Buffy was wafting through the air. Spike realized with a shock that Buffy was wrapped around his back, her arm around his waist, holding his hand. He could feel her warm breath on the back of his neck, and a wave of contentment washed over him.
Buffy felt Spike stir. Closed her eyes, feigning sleep. Then stopped. She gripped his hand more tightly. "Morning."
Spike rolled over as best he could with a Slayer cuddled against his back. "Mornin', luv. How'd you sleep?"
She sighed deeply. "Mmm... Pretty good. You?"
"Best sleep I've gotten in months." This was followed by a wide yawn, ending in a quiet purr.
She gave a half smile. "How's your side and hip feel?"
He wiggled around a little, testing the wounds. "I think the side's all better..." He winced. "But the hip's gonna take awhile."
She frowned. "I want to look at it again."
He chuckled. "Just can't wait to get your hands on me, eh, Slayer?" He raised an eyebrow playfully.
She swatted gently at him.
He chuckled again. "Alright." As much as he didn't want to, he rolled over onto his stomach, dislodging Buffy from his back. This also put the injured hip on her side.
She glanced at the bandage, saw blood dried on it. She peeled the tape off slowly, trying not to reopen it. She winced and let out a small moan.
Spike flinched. "What? What is it?"
She said softly, "It hasn't closed at all. It's gonna take a while for it to heal."
Spike swiveled his head around, trying to see. "That can't be good. I thought I was supposed to heal fast... unless Tralfgor demons aren't poisonous, are they?"
She shook her head. "No... They gashed my back. It healed." "It just took about a week."
Spike let out a snort. "Great. So you're saying that I'm basically confined to quarters for a week?"
"Yup. Get comfy."
"Perfect." He growled. "I'm bleedin' trapped."
"Basically. Harm will keep you company."
He gave a little shudder. "I hate bein' trapped. It's like being in that cage back at the Initiative."
She carried the kit and mug back to the bed, handed him the blood, and started to re-dress his hip. "You're not trapped. It's like... vacation. I'll rent movies for you, and you can watch Passions, and do your nails, and play with Harm..."
He grinned. "Could you and Dawn maybe come over for awhile? We could watch the movies together."
She grinned. "I'm sure Dawn would love to, but Buffy has overtime Doublemeat Duty. I can come over when I'm done, after a quick sweep, though."
"You shouldn't be working at that crap trap."
She sighed. "Get over it. I have. I'll come over on one condition."
"What?"
"I won't have time to shower before I come, so I wanna bring a few towels, shampoo and soap so I can shower while you and Dawn are here. It'd just make it easier. Maybe a change of clothes, too."
He pointed at the bureau. "Why don't you just pick a drawer, put my stuff in a different drawer, and put your stuff in that one? It could be your own personal drawer."
That was... a step... She shifted. "Sure. I'll probably just do it when I get back one night." She placed the tape over the bandage carefully.
"Great. Maybe I'll invite Clem too. He and Dawn seem to get along really well, and he likes you."
She nodded. "Whatever makes you more comfortable."
"I'm comfortable with you, and Dawn. Which reminds me, didn't you say that you wanted to call the others? Tell them where you are?"
"Oh, shit!" She scrambled for the phone, dialed hastily. It picked up on the first ring. "Hi, Dawnie..." She glanced at Spike. "No... No! We didn't.... I mean... we did, but not.. like that. Spike got beat up last night by a goonie, and-" Buffy smiled. "He's gonna be just fine. He's inviting us over for movies this week. I'm sorry. We just... fell asleep, and I forgot to call and- Yeah... I know I'm grounded." She hung her head. "I promise to never not call again."
Spike chuckled. "While you're at it, say, "I promise, mom". "
Buffy started sputtering. "I- Dawn! Ewwww... where do you- oh, gross, I don't want to know. No, we didn't have crazy monkey sex."
Spike choked.
"Fine. I'll be home. Whenever I want to! That's when!"
Spike continued trying to hold back the hysterical laughter that was threatening to escape his marginal control.
"No, you can't go to Janice's. Because she's a skeazy skank, that's why!!"
A snort escaped Spike's twitching lips.
She glanced at Spike. Glared. "Because I am your guardian, and if you don't want to go live in a foster home where they can't love you half as much as I do, you'll stay home!"
"She could come here... If she wants," he offered.
She shook her head. "I'm sorry, too. Did you do the dishes or the laundry?" She cocked her head. "Then why are you even asking anyway? It's no until they're finished. I did appreciate you taking out the garbage last night. It made my day. Yes, really. Ok... ok. I love you, too. Bye." She hung up the phone and sighed.
Spike finally let out the laughter that had been threatening to escape since that "I'm grounded", comment.
Glared at him. "You try to raise a 15 year old. I'm grounded, three days. Full chores."
"Aww. Does that mean that I have to change my own bandages?"
She said petulantly, "I'm the grown up. I get to pick when I'm grounded."
"Then shouldn't you be able to unground yourself?"
She brightened. "Yeah! Whoooo-hoo! I'm ungrounded!" She snorted, "Crazy monkey sex my butt."
He laughed. "Two things. A: Do you realize how disgusting that sounded? And B: Did she really say that?"
She rolled her eyes. "Yes, and yes.... She said, and I quote, 'If you were gone all night having crazy monkey sex with Spike, don't even bother coming home, because I'm not speaking to you. Cuz it's like.. gross.' End quote."
He chuckled. "Yep, that's my Lil' Bit."
She sighed. "Yeah.. I promised to go patrolling with her tonight."
He growled. "You'd better go with her. No way is she going out there alone."
She arched her brow. "Um... ok... Dawn can patrol on her own. She does if I get sick."
His eyes got wide. "No she can not. She's only 15!"
Buffy said softly, "She's a scooby. Kinda like Scrappy. If she can slay, she can patrol."
Spike sat up. "If she's Scrappy, and I'm Scooby, then it's my job to make sure that she isn't the one who get's SPLATed."
Her voice snapped. "Lay back down. I am her guardian, Spike. I know what's best for her. I appreciate your faith in me and my decisions."
He laid down obediently. "Look, luv. It's not that I don't trust your judgment, it's just... I had a little sister too, you know."
She began putting the gauze and tape back in the box mechanically, looked up. "I can tell. Spike, she's not normal. She's.. the key. Which gives her my strength, my energy, and with a little work, my speed. She isn't the next slayer, but she lives in a hellmouth. She can- wants to help me."
He nodded, understanding. "I know, luv. I get it. I just,.. I like having someone to look after. If Dawn starts patrolling on her own, then she doesn't need me anymore." He closed his eyes.
She closed the box, feathered a kiss across his cheek. "Of course she does. She needs you, and me, and all the Scoobies. We just have to be non-chalant in our looking-after." She said, slightly enviously, "Besides, who does she come to first, when she needs to complain or talk about something? You."
He looked at her. "You know that she loves you, right, luv? You're her sister, her family. I'm just, well, basically her dog. Someone she can talk to that will listen no matter what, but I'm not family. You are."
She smiled sadly. "You really believe that, don't you? I know I'm her family. So is Giles. And Xander, and Willow, and Anya like.. a weird aunt or something. You're like... her big brother and best friend rolled into one person. She can depend on you, tell you anything, and know you'll protect her. She loves you. Because you're family. Because family is more than blood."
Tears came to his eyes. "Big brother? Me?" He thought for a moment. "So, all of us, we're a family? Even me? Even if Rupert and Harris don't like me?"
She nodded. "And Giles likes you. But you and me- we're not family."
"What are we, then?"
"Ex-lovers with potential?"
He grinned. "What kind of potential?"
"All kinds of potential. Cuz if we were family.." She leaned over his reclining frame, kissed him softly. "This would be weird..." Kissed him again.
He reached up, wrapped his arms around her, pulled her in close, and returned the kiss, with interest. She returned the interest, molding her lips to his, careful to keep her roaming hands away from his wounds. He purred into her mouth, and released for a moment to leave a trail of gently kisses down her neck. He encountered the scars from the Master and Angel, and alternately nuzzled and kissed the sensitive skin near them. Her breath was uneven, shaky, and she trembled as his lips took her neck. He made a different path on the return trip to her mouth, trailing kisses up her throat and under an ear, before returning to her mouth earnestly. She sighed as he kissed her again, her hands in his hair, down his shoulders, moving restlessly against him. Her mouth moved over his, nipping and licking gently, sucking one lip playfully before claiming his mouth again. Buffy felt Spike's hands creep over her back, and she arched into them, running her own fingers through his hair.
Their make-out session was suddenly interrupted by a British voice loudly proclaiming, "Get your filthy hands off her!"
Buffy sat up like she had been shocked, dismayed to see that she was now kneeling over Spike's lap. "Oh, God," she whimpered. "Gi-Giles...."
Giles cross the room with speed that a man half his age would have envied. He drew his fist back and clocked Spike square in the jaw, sending him falling off the bed.
Buffy promptly panicked. "What the hell are you doing??"
Giles ignored Buffy and proceeded to pummel Spike with everything he had. He kicked Spike hard in the ribs, right were the newly closed wound was. Spike howled in agony, but Giles wasn't deterred. "How DARE you touch her, you animal!!"
She began pulling at Giles, screaming at Spike, "Fight back!" Then wailing, "God, Giles, STOP IT!"
Spike curled into a ball, attempting to protect his wounded side and hip, both of which were beginning to bleed right through his pajama pants and shirt.
Giles got off a hard kick, and there was the sickening crunch of breaking ribs mixed with another howl from the vampire.
She yanked on her Watcher hard enough to pull him back from Spike slightly, enough to slide her body between theirs, laying over Spike protectively. She put her hands over his head, sheltering his body from the blows with her own.
Giles froze, staring down at his Slayer protecting the very vampire that he had rushed across town to save her from.
Spike was shaking beneath Buffers body. His blood began to seep into her clothes. She was murmuring to Spike softly, apologies running from her lips with every breath. She felt the blows stop and she looked at Giles, unaware tears had stained her cheeks. "What the hell is wrong with you??"
The Watcher stood, still staring at his Slayer. "I was protecting you. Xander said... Spike was... That he was... That he raped you."
She closed her eyes, pained. "He wasn't- he didn't- well, he almost, but-"
The Watcher's eyes flashed.
She shook her head, clearing her thoughts. "We don't... We don't have time for this. Go. Get... find material... We have to... We have to take care of him." She looked down at the vampire beneath her. "Spike?"
Spike was still shaking, his eyes closed. A huge bruise was quickly forming where the Watcher's fist had met his jaw. She ran her fingers gently over his face, concern making her shake, but steadying her mind at the same time. "Spike... do you have another first aid kit, or... or cloth?"
Meanwhile, Giles was stunned. "You want me to what? After what he did?"
She sighed, frustrated. "You got old news, Giles, and I will NOT sit here and explain it to you until you help me take care of him." One hand cupping Spike's cheek, she looked at her watcher, tears streaming down her cheeks. "Giles... Please." There was desperate entreaty in her voice. "Please."
Spike raised a shaking hand, still not opening his eyes, and pointed to a sarcophagus. "Th- there. First a- aid kit."
Giles gave one last look at the Slayer and vampire, then walked over and retrieved the first aid kit, handing it to Buffy.
She looked in the sarcophagus, found an extra set of sheets for the bed, a plain, rough cotton. She tossed them at Giles. "Start ripping"
Without a word, Giles began ripping the sheets into strips, perfectly sized for bandages.
She pulled the flannel pants down so she could see his wound. It had stopped gushing, but there was a steady blood flow. She applied pressure, trying to get it to stop. "Spike?"
Spike responded by opening one eye, and looking at Buffy.
She almost whimpered at his beaten visage, but her face reflected nothing but fierce determination. "You need to keep talking to me. I want you to stay awake, ok?"
The vampire's voice was scratchy. "Why? Earlier... wanted me to sleep."
She had bandaged his hip quickly, efficiently. She straddled them now, to touch his ribs as softly as she could. Let out a small laugh. "Yeah, I did. You never do listen when I talk. Tell me when it hurts, ok?" She moved from the top of his ribs slowly down, feeling each one, around and straight across. When she touched the broken rib, Spike half growled, half screamed in pain. She winced slightly but continued down until she reached the end of them.
Spike opened both eyes and glanced around, locking on Giles. There was a flash of anger, and then fear as the Watcher approached him. But Giles was only handing more bandages to his Slayer. Still, Spike stayed tensed.
She looked at the object of his distress. "Go get me blood, warm it. Only fill it 2/3s of the way. I want the rest to be whiskey." She looked at the vampire. "Spike.. I want you to cough."
"Why?"
She glared at him. "Can you just do it?"
He inhaled slowly, every inch his dead lungs expanded making the rib ache even more. When he had filled his lungs sufficiently, he let out an explosive, and extremely painful, cough.
She reached a hand up, opened his mouth and swept two fingers at the back of his tongue and around his throat.
"Uh choo ooin?", Spike asked. Meaning What you doing?.
Pulled them out, looked at her fingers and let out a shaky laugh. "You didn't puncture a lung." She called over her shoulder, "Giles... he didn't puncture a lung!"
"That's good," Giles said as he returned, carrying the mug of warm blood and whiskey. Spike winced as Giles handed it to him.
She started to slide the cotton strips under his back as gently at she could, getting ready to wrap his ribs. She frowned. "Giles, you need to put a pillow on your lap, and support his upper back and head. Help him drink. It'll make his ribs easier to wrap, too."
The Watcher let out a exasperated sigh, but did as his Slayer asked. Spike stayed tensed. There was no way that Rupert was catching him off guard again.
She gave Spike a small smile. "God, you're ugly. Relax and talk to me. Giles will not hurt you again." She arched a brow at her watcher as she began to tie a row of knots down Spike's rib cage.
Giles looked down at the agitated vampire in his lap. "Calm down, Spike. You heard Buffy. I promise not to hurt you again."
Spike relaxed slightly. Buffy would protect him, after all. "What are you doing now?"
She saw his eyelids start to droop and said loudly, in a whiny tone. "Wrapping your ribs. And it's hard when there's no one to talk to."
Spike put a hand over one ear. "Ow. Sorry. Uh, but why can't I go to sleep? I thought I'd heal faster that way."
"Yes, and not wake up. How lovely. I don't know how vampires work, but people call having your head smashed violently into the ground and hit repeatedly a concussion." She repeated it slowly. "Con-cush-unnn. Say it with me."
Spike chuckled and instantly regretted it, as the movement caused a painful clutch in his side. "But I'm already dead. What's the worst that could happen?"
She had forgotten about his side. She swore. Began unwrapping his ribs so she could bandage his side. "Well," she huffed, "I would be extremely bored on this my-what- third time at the wheel o' life?"
"You could turn to dust, or go into a vampiric coma," Giles supplied.
She glanced worriedly at her watcher. "They do that?"
Giles gave her a reassuring smile. "It is a defense mechanism when they don't have enough food. They basically sleep for as long as their human body fat will allow, and then wake up in a blood rage. A vampire in that condition will bite anything that moves. Even a swaying tree. I've actually seen it. But it wouldn't happen to Spike, because he's eating."
Spike's eyes got wide, and he gulped the rest of the mug of blood.
"But it's just... it's not... blood, blood." She had fixed his side and was once again wrapping his ribs. She smiled at Spike. "Well, you kill a traflgar demon, but manage to get your ass kicked by a lovely British gentleman. And here I am again. Fixing you. Didn't I say I'd kick your ass if you did that again?"
Spike grinned. "Yeah. But in my defense, I didn't go out on my own. This "gentleman" came to me!" He reached up and gently tapped Giles on the shoulder in a playful manner. Then paused, wondering if he had gone too far. His concerns were allayed when Giles playfully squeezed his neck, sending a shiver down the vampire's spine. "Hey! Quit it, Rupert."
She snapped at both of them, "What? Not enough horseplay for one day?? I will knock both your heads together!"
Spike and Giles both looked ashamed. "Sorry," the two Brits said in unison.
She glanced at Giles as Spike looked on the verge of sleep again. "Should I- I mean... would my-my blood help him?"
Giles' eyes widened, and Spike started awake. "Uh, that's not a good idea, luv," the vampire said.
"But, it'll jumpstart your healing... Not a lot," she implored of her watcher. "Just.. just a little."
"Buffy," Giles began. "You really shouldn't." He looked at Spike's empty mug. "But you can get him some more from upstairs. This seems to be gone." He looked down at Spike. "What, do you have two stomachs?"
Spike just grinned.
She gave Giles a small grin. "Please, keep him awake."
"How do you propose that I do that?"
She took Spike's mug and headed upstairs for a new jug of blood. "Talk to him... Spike, explain Passions to Giles."
Spike brightened. He looked up at the Watcher. "Well, you see, it started a couple of years ago...."
Giles gave Buffy a look that said "Please hurry!"
She scampered upstairs, looked for the jug and found it in a mini-fridge. She pulled up her dark tee-shirt, the long scratch down her side she had gotten at the cemetery just healing. She scratched at it, but it refused to bleed. She looked around, trying to remember any other recent wounds. None. She picked up a small paring knife off the counter and unbuttoned her jeans. She slid them down, and bracing herself, made a cut on her upper thigh. Shuddered as she made it deep enough to bleed. She held the mug to the cut, letting her blood, her life spill into it. She waited as long as she could, then slid a tissue over the cut, holding it in place while she slid her jeans back up. She buttoned them and filled the mug the rest of the way with the blood from the jug. She came downstairs, heated it quickly, and came back to her watcher and vampire. She handed it to Giles, motioning for him to help Spike drink.
Giles nodded, and gently poked Spike's neck, drawing his attention away from where he had been petting Harmon. Spike accepted the mug and took a sip, then another, and another. Then his eyes got wide, and he stared at Buffy, saying nothing as he slowly finished the mug.
She avoided his eyes, instead focusing on putting another layer of cotton strips over his ribs to re-enforce the first layer, making his torso stiff, harder to bend, so the healing would be quicker, neater.
The trio entered a strained silence that was broken when Harmon meowed for Buffy to pick him up. She picked him up quickly, stroking his fur, her gaze unfocused.
Harmon knew there was something weird going on, but he couldn't figure out what. All he knew was that his owner kept staring at the nice girl, and the mean man didn't look at anyone. "Purrrouw?"
It broke her out of her reverie. "Giles, we need to-" To what? "To get him on the bed. Make him comfortable."
Spike looked around. "I thought I was comfortable." He shot a pointed look at Buffy. "You know, I don't usually eat so much."
She hugged the cat to her chest, kissed its head. "Giles can't sit here for a- however long it'll take, and the floor will get cold. You need... your strength up. You should eat a lot."
Giles and Buffy helped Spike to his feet, and carefully guided him over to the bed. Buffy arranged the covers around him, tucking him in carefully. Once they had him settled, Giles looked to Buffy. "I'm going to get back to the Magic Box. Are you coming?"
She shook her head. "No. Will you-" she snagged his hand, "Will you just.. sit with me for a little bit?"
The Watcher smiled at her, and glanced at Spike. "Certainly." He pulled a chair over and sat next to the bed. "I'll stay as long as you need me."
She stood while she let Spike drift off to sleep, noting the time, and reassured herself she would wake him in an hour, every hour. She climbed into Giles' lap, and rested her head on his shoulder.
Giles gently put his arms around his Slayer, rocking her slowly back and forth. "I'm sorry," he said quietly, so as not to wake the vampire.
She nodded her head, accepting his words. "I'm sorry I haven't- explained anything to you."
"It's not your fault. I suppose that I should have made sure of the facts before I rushed over here." He gave a little chuckle. "Especially since the 'facts' came from Xander."
She smiled ruefully. "Yeah... That's a good indication that the facts could be wrong." She leaned up, kissed his cheek. "That was very heroic."
He laughed quietly. "I saved you from... What is Spike to you, anyway?"
She laid her hands over Giles', where they were wrapped around her. "I love you. I want to say that first. I never want to disappoint you, and I- I love you."
He smiled at her. "I love you, too, Buffy. It's almost like... like you're the daughter that I never had." He hugged her gently.
She scrunched herself against him in the best backwards hug she could manage. "You *are* the dad I never had. But Spike... Spike is.. was... he's my ex-lover."
He nodded. "I know. You told me as much when we were in the back of the Magic Box a few months ago, after he disappeared for awhile. When Willow was.... you know. After Warren was killed."
She ducked her head. "I... I know... I had... broken up with him. And one night, he was so- sad, and, broken, and he- he wanted me."
"He attacked you." It was not a question.
Buffy wouldn't-couldn't- defend that action. "Yes. I- I stopped him. He never- He didn't-"
"But he would have, Buffy." Giles said with a shake of his head. "If you hadn't been able to stop him, he would have. He made his intentions clear."
She was silent a long time. "Maybe. That Spike might have. And he left. And when he came back, he was different."
"The soul."
She shrugged. "That was part of it. Even before the soul, after he- when I stopped him from- His eyes, Giles. They didn't look like a demon's. They looked like a guilt-ridden man's."
Giles looked at her. "But he couldn't feel guilt, Buffy. A vampire, without a human soul, can not feel guilt, or shame, or anything like that." He looked at the slumbering vampire on the bed. "And yet.. I wonder.."
She looked at him, her eyes shining, "What do you wonder?"
Giles shook his head. What he was considering made no sense, and it went against everything that he'd been taught as a Watcher.
She laid a hand on his arm. "Da-Giles... please." Her eyes were welling, and she prayed that he would share with her, not let her be alone.
He sighed, repeated what he'd said earlier. "A vampire without a soul can not feel guilt, shame, remorse, or grief. And yet, when you were... gone... I would often find Spike crying up in your room. Or him and Dawn sleeping on the couch, holding a jacket, or shirt of yours. Many a time I saw him pacing in front of your grave, yelling at himself for failing you." Giles looked at his Slayer. "That doesn't sound like a normal vampire to me."
She buried her head in his chest. "He's not. He's- I was so scared that you'd kill him."
Giles hugged her again, and started rocking once more. "I intended to. But when I saw you, huddled over him, protecting him, I knew that something that Xander had said must have been wrong." He looked at her. "But I am wondering. If Spike is nothing more to you than an ex-lover, why protect him like that? I could have hurt you."
She looked her watcher, her surrogate father, her support, and best friend in the eye. "Spike and I are involved." She ducked her head, finding she had the courage to say the words, but not see the disappointment in his eyes. "And I think I'm in love with him."
Giles cupped her chin, raising her eyes to his. "You're in love with him?" The look in his eyes wasn't *exactly* what she'd thought it would be. He actually looked... interested?
Buffy looked down, then up, down, and finally glanced in his eyes, her version of stuttering. "I think so."
"When did you figure it out? If I may ask." He gave her a soft smile. "And what kind of 'involved', are the two of you?"
"When I realized that when I was sleeping in an immortal enemies arms, and didn't once dream of a coffin. When I found out he is ticklish, when he talks to me in his sleep." Her eyes got large. "We have... have rules. We don't... we're not involved like- like that."
He smiled at her, hiding a chuckle. "I know. But I do have to ask you something."
Her eye peeked up at him. "Huh?"
He reached down, playfully grabbing at a sensitive spot on her side. "Spike's ticklish?"
She squirmed, gave him a baleful look, then confided, "All over."
Giles chuckled. "Now there's something I didn't know."
She nodded. "I didn't either. It was a lucky guess." Her eyes drifted closed, and her head nodded on Giles' chest. She snapped back awake. Looked at a clock. "I need to- to wake him. Make sure he's ok."
Giles helped her stand up. "By all means. Uh, how do you wake the dead, anyway?"
She was slightly embarrassed to have Giles watching her do this. She leaned close to him over the bed, ran a hand down his arm. Whispered softly, "Good morning..."
Spike lazily opened one blue eye. "Mornin', luv," he responded reflexively. It was getting to be a pattern. He stretched slightly, then winced. "Ouch."
She smiled happily. "Yeah. Ouch."
He yawned, showing fangs for an instant, but gaining control quickly. "What'd you two do while I was asleep?", he asked with a nod in Giles' direction.
Her hands grew suddenly restless. She tugged on the covers, pulled them to his neck, then down, straightening. "We... talked."
"'Bout what?"
Giles hid a chuckle with a cough.
Without looking at her Watcher, she responded quickly, "Everything. Now, I just woke you up to make sure you would- ya know, wake up. So... go back to bed."
He glanced around, confused. "But I'm already in bed. And I'm not sleepy anymore."
She frowned. "Are you sure?"
"Yep."
"You need more blood. You need to get better. I'll go.. get you another cup."
He gave her a look. "Oh, I think I've had enough."
"It'll make you better. Drinking." She licked her lips. "Want water?"
Spike just looked at Buffy, his eyes speaking volumes.
Giles glanced at the two of them. ""If Spike is going to be staying up, then I'd best be off. I left the Magic Box short-handed when I stormed out."
She jerked slightly, almost forgetting about Giles. "Of.. of course. Can you have Dawn call the DoubleMeat, tell them there was a medical emergency? I won't be able to make it in for a few days?"
"Certainly. You have three vacation days with pay saved up. Want me to call them in too?"
She nodded. "Yes, please."
Giles nodded, then started up the stairs, paused, turned around, walked back, and hugged Buffy. "I love you. Remember that."
She hugged him back, fiercely. "I love you, too, Da-Giles. I love you, too, Giles."
Giles whispered in her ear, still hugging her tightly. "If you want to call me 'dad', I wouldn't say no."
She looked at him shyly. Whispered, "I love you, Dad."
He hugged her again. "I love you, Buffy. And I'll never be disappointed in you. Please don't ever hesitate to tell me anything. Ever. Okay?"
She nodded. "Ever. I promise."
A quiet sniff sounded from the bed, and the pair looked over to see Spike wiping tears from his eyes. He had obviously heard all that. Damn vampire ears.
Giles stood next to the bed, and placed a comforting hand on Spike's shoulder. "And you, just concentrate on getting better. No more fights." "Okay," Spike agreed, fighting a sudden urge to hug Giles.
She gave a soft laugh. Blinked back her own tears, and gave Giles a final kiss on the cheek. "Go on. I'm sure the Magic box is tumbling into despair without you. Hurry."
Giles made his exit with one last wave to the pair.
Buffy stood, her eyes fixed on the ladder till she heard the crypt door shut. She jerked towards the small kitchenette. "I bet you're thirsty.. I can- get you some water." She grabbed a glass and turned the faucet on, filling the glass.
"Just make sure that it comes from the proper place."
She grinned, seemingly oblivious. "How silly. Of course it will." She took a long drink of the water herself, then filled the glass again.
"No running out to a stream, or trying to get it out of a glacier." He stared at her back. "I know what you did."
She kept her back to him. "I'm just getting you water, Spike, I don't-"
"The blood," he growled, attempting to sit up. "Your blood."
She still didn't turn. "Lay back down."
"No denial privileges."
She turned slowly, her eyes cool. "It's just blood, Spike. My body makes more."
"That's not it, Slayer. I won't drink it again. If I'd refused before, then Rupert would have known that something was wrong, and I didn't want him mad at you."
"And I won't have you turn to dust. So you'll take what I give you."
"I'll heal without hurting you."
"I just opened a recent wound, Spike. It's not a big deal-"
"You cut a hole in your leg with a paring knife. I smelled it when you did."
Her stomach jumped. "Come on, Spike. I don't cut myself. You might have smelled the blood-"
"Then bring me the knife."
She rolled her eyes rather convincingly. "What *knife*, Spike? Why don't you just lie back down and-"
He growled, sat up further, ignoring the stabs of pain from the wounds. "*The* knife. The paring knife that I left on the counter from when I ate an apple earlier."
"Fine. Just... lie back down. I don't want you hurt anymore than you are."
He reclined against the pillows, still watching her closely.
She went back up the ladder, pretended to hunt around the top half, snagging a wet paper towel and the knife, wiping it clean while she 'searched'. "I can't- oh! Found it!" She tossed the towel back in the garbage and came down with the clean knife. "This it?"
He took the knife, looked at it, turned it over and looked at it some more. "Looks clean." He glanced around. "Where's Harmon? Here, kitty kitty kitty!" Obediently, the cat leaped up onto the bed. "Hey boy, what do you make of this?" He held the knife out for the cat to sniff.
She glanced at the cat, giving it a 'vibe-warning'. 'Don't betray me', she prayed.
Harmon sniffed the knife for a moment, then looked straight into Buffy's eyes. "Meroow?" He walked over, sat next to her, and placed a paw on the spot on her thigh that she had cut earlier. "Rowr."
Spike just looked from the cat to Buffy and back again. "I don't suppose you'll drop your jeans if I ask nicely."
She had almost winced when the cat laid its paw on her. "Probably not."
He looked at her sadly. "Why'd you do it, luv? I'll be fine in a few days. You know it."
"I didn't know!" She exploded at him. "I didn't know. You were still, and... quiet, and... Do you know how much blood there was everywhere?" She shook her head. "You don't. I do. I cleaned it all off you. I had to be calm, and in charge while you were drying up. My blood makes you strong."
"And losing it makes you weak!"
She shrugged, her actions still understandable in her mind. "If it took my blood to heal you faster, there wasn't a decision to be made."
He just looked at her. Apparently, he wasn't getting through. "Ok, what if I told you that Slayer blood does other things to vampires? Particularly males."
She shrugged carelessly. "You're in no position to hurt me. I could restrain you easily enough."
He snorted. "Bloody aphrodisiac, that's what it is."
She wasn't getting through to him, either. "If I was... ill, and you had something that could make me better, faster, would you give it to me?"
Didn't even blink. "If you needed my dust, I'd stake myself over a jar."
She could have screamed. "Then WHAT is your problem!!??"
"Because if I'm here or not doesn't matter! You do. You're the Slayer. You have your little family to look out for. What do I have? A cat. The world wouldn't lose much if I was suddenly gone, but it would end without you." He looked at her, pleading with his eyes. "Please, luv. Just say that you'll never do that again."
"It matters to me! You have the same family I do, and damnit don't demean yourself." She shook her head. "I can't. If you got hurt again, I'd do it again." She sighed, exasperated. "I'm not saying everytime you stub your toe, I'm gonna- reopen a wound, but when it comes down to it, Spike, if my blood will save you, I'll hand it over in a chalice."
He sighed, realizing that there was no changing her mind. He held up his hands in surrender. "Ok, luv. Okay. You win." He looked at her curiously. "I mean that much to you?"
She half-laughed, half-sobbed. "I told my "dad" I had sex with you. What do you think?"
He reached up, put a hand on her shoulder. "Don't cry, luv. Please?" He sniffed. "You'll get me started again, and I'm running out of liquid."
She sniffed hard once, and pulled away from his hands, walked back to the sink. She took the water and handed it to him.
He smiled at her, and downed the water in one gulp. "So, what did you and Rupert really talk about while I was visiting the land of the unconscious?"
She surveyed him. He was still too pale- even for a corpse. His eyes had a sunken look that she didn't appreciate, which made his puffy bruised jaw look disproportionate. She wondered if he would smell just a few drops of her blood in the next mug she gave him. "Everything. You. The bathroom. Me. Him. Your soul."
Spike made a choked sound. "Me? What about my soul?" His eyes got wide. "I"m not going to lose it, am I? Cause I'm sure as hell not going through the trials again."
She shook her head. "No. Just... your soul. And how you're not a typical vampire."
"Uh, thanks? I think."
She decided that if he didn't look better that night, she would slip him just a touch more of her blood. "It was a compliment."
"Oh. And what else?" He was genuinely interested.
She shrugged. "How much he loves me."
Spike smiled. "He would have to be deaf, dumb, blind, and stupid not to love you. You just seem to have that effect on people."
She grinned, tossed her hair out of her eyes. "Yeah. I really do." She laughed.
He chuckled, noting happily that it didn't hurt as much. "Yeah. You even wormed your way into the stony heart of your mortal enemy. Namely, me."
Buffy blinked sweetly and blew him a kiss. Then looked at him carefully. "Are you... sure you wouldn't like some more blood?"
He smiled. "Not right now. I would like to know what Rupert had to say about me." He got quiet. "Does he... hate me? For what happened?"
She shook her head thoughtfully. "He would kill you for me. That was clear. But he sees how you've changed. He doesn't hate you."
He sighed. "That's good. And what else did you or he say about little vampy me?"
She swallowed. "He wanted to know how.. involved we are. Because, of course, he would walk in when we were the most involved we've ever been..."
"And you said?"
"That we don't- That we have rules."
He nodded. "That explains the lack of him trying to kill me after I woke up." He cocked his head at her. "But I sense there's more. What else?"
She licked her lips, curled back into the chair she and Giles had shared. "I told him- what I told you. That I- I might be falling in love with you."
Spike just smiled at her. "Might be?" Cocked an eyebrow playfully.
She gave a slight laugh. A half smile. "Did you hear him, Spike?" Buffy said in wonder. "He said I could never disappoint him."
He grinned at her. "Yeah. But I already knew that. He loves you, Buffy. And a little thing like sleeping with a vampire? Pfft. That's old news to him. He loves you unconditionally. Like Dawn does, like all of the Scoobies do." He glanced down at the sheets. "Like I do."
She smiled, wanting so badly to say, "I love you, too", but slow... slow. "Dawn's has a condition."
He looked up. "Oh? And what might that be?"
"Uhhh.... I believe it's called the 'Hurt Spike and Die' clause. Very serious, involves high frequency screeching and odd green glowing."
"Are you trying to say that you think that she loves me more than you!? Uh- uh. No way. You're big sis. And her love of me has a 'hurt Buffy and dust' clause."
She grinned. "Well, then, I guess we're doomed to forever not hurt eachother."
Spike chuckled. "I think I can live with that. But anyway, what would the Lil' Bit do? Tickle us to death?"
"Ha. Probably." Her eyes turned serious, inquisitive. "Spike?"
"Yeah?"
"Can you- can you tell it's my blood rushing in your veins? What does it... feel like?"
He paused, reflected inward, thought for a moment. "It's hard to describe. But it's almost like I can sense the emotions that you were feeling when you cut yourself. That's actually how I knew about the paring knife. I can almost see it. But it's like it's headed for *my* leg." He looked at her. "This happens from time to time with all vampires. You're supposed to ignore it."
"It doesn't hurt, does it? Because then, you guys wouldn't feed... Or is it with just a lot of blood? Can you feel it with just a tiny bit?"
He shivered a little. "That's why you're supposed to ignore it. Feeling the prey's pain, their fear when you bite. It'll scare you to death. It even happens to me with cow's blood. And yeah. Sometimes, the blood from the butcher is from two or three different cows at once. And I can feel them. How scared they were when the bullet went through their heads..." He trailed off, staring at the wall. Refocused on her. "It's almost enough to make you give up Big Macs. Bad attempt at a joke."
She grinned softly. "I got it. What if.... you get someone who is giving blood out of love? Can you feel that, too, or does it hurt?"
He smiled at her, almost shyly. "Yeah. You mean like you did? That would explain this wonderful, warm feeling. It's new."
She smiled at him. "What if there's only a few drops, and a lot of other blood. Does the other blood overpower the few drops?"
He knew what she was trying to do, but didn't want to let on. "Let me put it this way. In that last batch of butchers blood, I got three cows, two pigs, a goat, and a chicken. The cows had been wondering what was for dinner, the pigs lived with a bunch of geese, the goat had recently eaten a pair of boxers, and the chicken crossed the road. Does that answer your question?"
She frowned, lost in her own musings. "Yeah..." Maybe by the time he noticed, he'd have already swallowed it. Or she could dilute it with water, then mix it with the blood.
He looked at her, sighed. "Luv, please don't do it again. I recovered from that beating the hell bitch gave me without your blood. I think I can recover from being kicked by a British gentleman."
Her eyes jerked to his face. "I- That's not-" She gave him a good pout. "Giles is very strong."
"I have a connection to you now, luv. For the next few hours, I'll be able to sense any powerful thoughts or feelings that you have. So don't even bother trying to dilute it, or try to slip it past me."
Her eyes met his, and she tried to block her thoughts. "That's weird. Stop it."
He chuckled. "I wish I could. You think I like knowing that you told Rupert that I'm ticklish... Wait a minute. That was private!"
She gasped. "Stop it! Those are my thoughts!! Get out! And it's... um... community information, now...." She laughed softly.
He rolled over painfully onto his stomach, and stuffed his head under a pillow. "Oh, no. I hope he doesn't tell anyone else."
"I don't think he will. I think he feels kind of sheepish about beating the stuffing out of you."
He pulled his head back from under the pillow. "He *did not* beat anything out of me. I wasn't ready. If I'd had a moment to prepare, I'd have kicked his ass."
Spike chuckled. "I just had a thought. I wonder if you can read me too. I've never been close to someone who's blood that I'm carrying."
She tried to focus. "How do I try?"
He laid back, closed his eyes. "Just search your mind for a thought that doesn't feel like you. I'll make it easy." He concentrated, sending a picture of Mr. Gordo dancing a waltz with his Tigger.
She concentrated, too, saw a hazy outline of her pig dancing with his tigger. She focused on it till it became sharp and clear in her mind.
"Well?"
She felt like she could walk around the image, seeing them from all angles. Like she was walking in his mind. "Mr. Gordo and Tigger," she answered absently.
He kept his eyes closed. "Good, you're in. The next thing you should get are my emotions."
And she did. Warmth slid around her, a soft love, and an uneasy ripple. He was as nervous as she was.
"If you bring up a picture of a person, you should be able to get my feelings on them." He tried to keep the nervousness out of his voice. He'd never done anything like this before. Not on purpose, anyway.
His mind was alight with images and colors. She figured that the colors stood for something, for in a corner, bathed in black shadows was Cecily, and... oh, gross. He had lied. He had kissed Angel, once. Dru stood by, watching. She turned away quickly, to a see a blue haze, Spike, and William bent over notebooks... peace. She focused on his words, because all the colors and images were getting overwhelming. She brought Dawn to the fore. She was bathed in a pink light, and protective waves poured off her area.
Spike relaxed a little at the image of Dawn. His Niblet. He purred softly, still in the trance.
Her mind brought forth Giles. He was swathed in an almost violet-blue light. Royalty, something reminded her. Respect. Care. 'Father', the unspoken word floated though their shared minds. 'Mine too'.
A smile curved her lips. Yes, father.
She wondered if she was pushing it, and thought intently of Xander. He was bathed in a cavalcade of colors, and words came flying at her. Idiot, frustrating, care? care. Loyal. Worry. Anger. Peace, irritation.
'Don't tell him', more words floated past, Spike's voice. 'Like him... sometimes.'
'Lips are sealed,' she answered.
Spike relaxed even further, if that was possible. He brought up Willow... allowing his mind to do what it would. She was in a greenish light, but there was a shadow behind her. It was the dark Willow, with black hair and eyes. But she was in a cage. Spike's feelings bubbled up: Caring, understanding, friendship, and a minor point of anger. 'Holding back', he said to Buffy. 'She's strong.'
She reached out a hand to touch her friend, her own mind bathed her in red. Protective, fierce love. 'She'll be ok... Eventually, we all will.'
'Yeah. I know. Now'
As much as she enjoyed this, her whole body was shaking. 'Now what?'
'Pull back, if you want. Find thoughts that are yours alone. Cling to them, let them pull you back.'
She shook her head. Pulled one last person to the fore. 'Walk away... I want to do this one alone. Search my mind for someone, if you want to.'
'Okay'. Spike occupied his time shifting through Buffy's thoughts of Joyce. Her memories of the person he had loved so much. He was unaware that his physical body was crying.
Buffy waited till she couldn't feel his presence, and pulled Druscilla to the fore. Forever having a tea party. She stared intently at her. Her light was green. And darkly shadowed. She felt pain, and happiness, and confusion from her. But she felt no love. She let Druscilla drift back to her place near the shadows.
'Ready now?', Spike's disembodied voice floated around her.
She saw herself close to the fore. And walked purposefully away from it. That was not hers to observe. She focused on Mr. Gordo, sleeping with him in third grade at a sleepover. 'Got my thought. You?'
Quiet music floated around. 'Think of a wonderful thought, any happy little thought'. Spike's laugh floated around her. 'Yeah. See you in a moment'.
She drifted back to her body, her eyes opening sleepily. Her body shook, head to toe.
Spike's eyes opened, and a similar shiver ran through him. That was unlike anything he'd ever felt before. He looked at Buffy. "You okay, luv?"
"I think so... I think I need food." She stood, wobbling slightly, and toddled to the fridge.
He rocked back on the pillows, and patiently waited for her return.
Her stomach bubbled uneasily, so she discounted food and settled for another glass of water. Got comfortable in her chair.
Spike waited, but she didn't say anything. So he broke the silence. "So, what'd you think of my mind, luv? Find anything that you didn't already know?"
She gave him a measured glance. "That maybe I shouldn't have lost 'Deepest Secret'. But that's it."
He chuckled. There was almost no pain that time. "I still would have been two points ahead of you, Slayer."
She sniffed superiorly. "But I bet I could have scored three points off you if you had been honest."
He play growled. "In what universe?"
She tapped her chest. "Mine, buddy."
"And I was honest. About everything but that."
"Exactly! I could have asked three questions you wouldn't have answered off that ONE."
"And you would've been cheating again. That's a bad habit."
"No way. I would have waited my turn. It's worth it to watch you squirm."
He snorted. "I think you've seen enough of me squirming lately, Slayer."
She considered it. "Nope. I would have liked to win. But... I'll let you off, but only cuz you've had the crap kicked outta you twice today."
"Thank you, oh wise and powerful Buffy. Whatever would I do without you?"
She grinned. "Definitely be a few bruises short."
He chuckled. "I've lost count of how many bruises and broken bones this relationship has gotten me, luv. Over the long run, anyway."
Buffy said thoughtfully, "I wonder how many times we've beaten the crap out of eachother?"
"473," he answered quickly. "Not counting post-chip beatings."
She winced. "Ow.. And how many pairs of my clothes do you think you've ruined, Mr. Rough Sex?"
He grinned. "My clothes, or yours?"
"Mine."
"9."
"Ten."
He cocked his head. "I'm forgetting one?"
"My camel-hair coat that has grass-stains now??"
"That doesn't count. And it will come out with baking soda and ginger ale."
"No it won't. I've tried everything. And why doesn't it count? It met the grass of my front lawn with an audible dirt-grinding noise."
"You said pairs of clothes. That is a single item. Drop it off here. If I can't get the stain out, I'll buy you a new one."
She shrugged. "No big. It took the trip to Goodwill a while ago."
He chuckled. "Should have known. I'll get you a new one, anyway. I owe you as much."
She frowned. "Cuz I don't have enough clothes? Spike, don't spend anymore money on me."
He smiled at her, raised an eyebrow. "So you're going to deny me the pleasure of shopping for you? But what will I do with my money?"
"Hotwings, bloomin' onions, Christmas presents, orange-pink roses for Dawn's birthday... A great number of things."
He grinned. "Oh! Yeah. Niblet's birthday is coming up, isnt' it? I wonder what I should get her."
She rolled her eyes. "Um.. duh, much? She likes opals. Set in silver. And Rhinos."
"I was being sarcastic, luv. Open the top drawer on the nightstand. You're looking for an orange bag."
She followed his instructions, and pulled out the bag. "This?"
"Yep. Not wrapped yet, so you can open it and tell me what you think."
She reached in and pulled it out. Awwed. She held the pink rhino up and squealed, then noticed the silver necklace set with opals. She turned the necklace over, murmured the inscription. "To my Lil' Bit". "Spike... she's.... oh man... she's gonna flip."
He was looking vulnerable again. "Do you really think she'll like it?"
She walked to his side, kissed his cheek. "She'll forever be your slave," she remarked dryly.
He grinned happily. "I thought I was your slave? Wasn't that in my song last year?" He hummed a couple of verses.
She groaned. "Let's not go there..." She replaced the gift, put it back in the drawer.
He smiled at her. "I.. I don't think I ever told you, but you have a beautiful singing voice." He ducked his head. "Wonderful. Never off key once."
She looked very vulnerable herself. "Thank you. You sing great too. Potently."
He looked up, grinned. "Really? I was in a choir when I was seven. Got out of it when my family moved to London, though."
She laughed. "Me and Mom sang making dinner."
He smiled. "Did your mom ever tell you that I spent the night there once? When you were at an all night Scooby meeting."
She frowned at her mother. "No, she didn't. I'd have grounded her."
"I took off before sunrise the next morning. But I slept on the couch, and she sang me a lullaby."
Buffy smiled. "That sounds like something Mom would do. Why'd you stay the night?"
"I'd been having a bad day. It was right after Dru dumped me the second time. Just before those army idiots grabbed me. I was sad, and Joyce made me cocoa, and sang me the song from Mary Poppins." He looked at her. "You know, the Stay Awake song? Best piece of reverse psychology ever set to music."
She sighed. "Where I come with stakes staking, my mother comes in with lullabies... Yeah.. I used to hear it a lot."
He sniffed, the tears threatening again. "Always works for me. I wasn't even really tired and it knocked me out for six hours."
She sat on his bed, ran a hand over his tousled curls. "You were special to her."
"I know. I miss her." He leaned his head into her hand, looked at her imploringly. "Lie down with me?"
She reclined slowly until her head was level with his on the bed. She laid very still.
"Thanks, luv." He sniffed. "I was suddenly feeling really lonely."
She turned her head, lightly brushed his cheek with her lips. "You're never alone now."
He ran a hand through her hair. "I know."