Pride
and Passion
Part One...After Melanie
The big house was cold and dark when Scarlett lifted her head from
her hands. The tears had long since dried up and now her mind was
spinning. Rhett. Where was Rhett? The reminder of the finality of
his words came back to her and she pushed them away. She would think
about that tomorrow. Now she had to get to Ashley. Melly had,after
all asked her to take care of him. "It's convenient to have the first
wifes permission." Rhetts words again sprang to the forefront
of her thoughts as she smoothed her hair looking at her red rimmed
eyes in the hall mirror.
It was only a short walk back to Ashley and Melanies home. But,
now
it was just Ashley. Scarlett wondered how she would ever get by
without Melly. "And I do need her dreadfully right now too, with
Rhett gone," she said aloud as she approached the door.
She found Ashley staring into the half lit fire. Mellys small white
glove was still tightly clasped in his hands.
"Ashley," she said quietly reaching out to touch his arm. When he
turned to her and she saw the pain in his eyes her heart broke.
"Oh Ashley.....What shall we do without her?"
"She loved you Scarlett. She loved everyone but, you were the sister
she never had." A small tear escaped his eyes. "I can't live
without her!"
"You need to be strong Ashley Wilkes! Remember Beau!"
He nodded and straightened his back. Putting the glove on the back
of a chair, he cleared his throut. "Beau will not see his father
cry." He started towards the stairs.
"You'll help with the arrangements?" he asked without turning around.
"Of course, Ashley. Anything," Scarlett said softly as she watched
him slowly mount the stairs.
Not wanting to go back to the huge, empty house she called home,
she retreated to the parlor. She shivered and realized the fire was
now nearly out.
"Prissy!! Where are you? Come stir this fire!....Where is that girl
everytime I need her, she murmered as she tossed some wood into the
fireplace. "It will be the strap when I get my hands on her."
She sat in front of the fire as it crackled and spit but it
failed to warm her. Where was Rhett? On his way to Belle? He
would come back to her....he had to...he did love her afterall. She
laid her head on the back of the chair and closed her eyes. "What
would Melly do?" she thought. "Silly goose!! Melly would never have
treated Rhett that way. Melly was so kind, and so good. Melly...."
She must have drifted of for the next thing she knew, Mammy was
gently shaking her shoulder.
"Miz Scarlett...Miz Scarlett. You wake up now, y'hear. Let yo Mammy
take you home lamb and I take care of you."
Scarlett allowed her self to be led to the door, where Mammy
wrapped a shawl around her thin shoulders. She didn't know what time
it was...the sky was full of threatening clouds....angry and grey.
Like Scarlett's heart. Angry at Rhett for leaving her and grey
because Melly was gone.
When they reached Scarlett's home, Mammy ordered Pork to draw a
hot bath for Scarlett and sent her upstairs while Mammy got her
something to eat. It seemed to take her forever to climb the huge
staircase. The staircase Rhett had once carried her up. Would
everything always remind her of him? She shook of those thoughts. I
had only been one day. He could still come back. The funeral!!
There was no way he would miss Melanies funeral. Scarlett smiled as
Mammy walked into her bedroom with a tray of food.
"That's a girl Miz Scarlett. What yo smilin' fo?" Mammy asked.
"I was thinking of Melanie and how she helps me even in death,"
Scarlett answered. "I need to get word to Suellen and Careen about
Melly. I know they would want to be here after all she did for them
during the war."
"Yes Miz Scarlett. You jus leave it t' me. Come on know. You's git
undressed and in that tub. Yo's shivering."
Scarlett reached over and touched Mammy's hand. "Thankyou for
always taking care of me Mammy."
She only smiled and started to undo Scarlett's dress. She knew
her good enough to know when Scarlett had a sceme in that pretty head
of hers. And she also knew it probably had something to do with Mr.
Rhett. She had seen him leave yesterday while Miz. Scarlett was at
the Wilkes home. He'd had a suitcase. They was fightin' again,
but things would be back to normal again when they both cooled off.
Miz Scarlett was just so hot headed. Why couldn't she be more like Miz Ellen...God rest her soul.
Now as Mammy pored the hot water over her head, Scarlett was still smiling. She had to get
a new dress for Melly's funeral....black of course. Something so that when she wore it, Rhett would go mad with love and come home that very night. There was no way that Belle could give him what she did. Scarlett frowned at the thought of Belle. What kind of lady could do a thing like giving herself to a man for money. When she had married Frank Kennedy, it had been to save Tara....something that needed to be done. And of course she had always loved Rhett, she just hadn't known it. But Belle. What did Rhett see in her anyways? She certainly wasn't attractive in the least. Besides, the color of her hair was indecent. With a toss of her pretty head she forgot about Belle and started to eat the soup and fresh bread Mammy had left for her. With her mouth full, Scarlett said to Mammy, "I will be needing a new dress for the funeral. And a new hat too. Something with a nice big bow under the chin." She snuggled down into the warm blankets. She didn't mind if Rhett wasn't there. When he saw her in a few days, he'd be back. Warm thoughts of him taking her in his arms and saying that he was wrong to leave filled her mind until she fell asleep.
It was then that the nightmares started. Yankees at Tara.....Bonnie falling from the pony.....Melanie dying....and images of Rhett and Belle laughing at her were filling her dreams. She tossed and turned all night and woke with sweat poring from her forhead. She cursed the darkness and retreated downstairs. The clock read 4am. These nightmares just had to stop she thought as she walked towards the decanter and poured herself a glass of brandy. She downed it and poured another. She walked back up to her room, drank the brandy and got back into bed. She did sleep a fitful couple of hours, when Mammy came and woke her up to say that she had company. "Is it Rhett??" she aked jumping out of bed and heading for the closet.
"No Miz Scarlett. Is Dr. and Mizzes Meade," she said as she helped Scarlett into the dress she had picked from the closet. "They's be wantin' to talk 'bout Miz Melly's funeral wid you."
Scarlett scowled as Mammy brushed back her hair into a tight roll at the back of her neck. Ashley had asked her to help with the arrangements and she wasn't going to let anyone, let alone the Meades, tell her what should be done. Melly was her best friend and she new what was best for her. She checked in the mirror and satisfied that she looked mournful enough, made her way down the stairs. Why do I care what they think anyway, she thought annoyed at herself for caring. Because I want people to know that I really loved Melly and they all think I used her as a way to get to Ashley. That might have been true at the beginning, but not at the end. Damn it!! Why did this happen to her? Melly would have been the one that Scarlett had gone to for advise about the funeral. And now she was on her own with Rhett who knows where and Ashley would be no good to anyone for a while to come. Life had always been unfair to her. She stopped before she entered the parlor and took a deep breath.
"Dr. Meade, Mrs. Meade," she said softly, bringing her handkerchief up and lightly dabbing her nose.
"Good morning Scarlett, said Dr. Meade while Mrs. Meade mearly nodded. "Sorry to bother you but under the circumstances we felt we must come and discuss some things with you."
"I understand and I can assure you that everything will be taken care of. Ashley has asked me to make the arrangements and I will do so."
She saw Mrs. Meades eyes flash, but just for a second. This caused Scarlett's head to raise just slightly. Mrs. Meade continued, "Of course. If there is anything we can do to help, you must let us know."
"I will. And thank you," she added. The old cat. What was she going to do when Ashley had already requested Scarlett's help. She led them to the door and as it closed behind the Meades, Scarlett felt all her strength leave with them. It was so hard to keep a brave face and remain strong when all she really wanted to do was lock herself in her room. And to have another drink of brandy. But she musn't just yet for she needed to go and see Ashley.
Aunt Pitty Pat Hamilton answered the door, her smelling salts gripped in her chubby hands. The damn lady is shaking more than usual, Scarlett mused as she watched the ridiculous curls dance all over her head.
"Oh Scarlett," she wailed. "This is just terrible. How shall we all go on? Poor Ashley didn't sleep a wink last night. And everytime I move I fear I shall faint! "
"Stop!" Scarlett demanded harshly, grabbing hold of the old lady's arm. "It will do nobody any good to see you acting so. Ashley and Beau need our strength right now." She turned to Prissy. " Go and brew some tea and serve it to Aunt Pitty in her bedroom. And then some tea and sandwiches to Mr. Ashley. And no dawdling!"
She turned, pausing only for a second to catch her breath and walked up the stairs to Ashley's room. People would surely talk about her being alone with Ashley in such intimate quarters and so soon after the death of his wife. Rhett was sure to hear, the way gossip traveled through this town. But, at this moment she didn't care. A promise was a promise and nothing the old pea hens could say would make her break her last promise to Melly. She hadn't always been kind to Melanie and she was going to make up for that now if she had to fight with her last breath.
The door to Ashley's room was open just enough for Scarlett to look in. Ashley sat in a chair with his head in his hands. Although it pained her to disturb his grieving, she knocked at the door. Ashley turned his face towards her and she was shocked to see how much he had changed in such a short time. He had aged ten years in the last day....his unshaven face was grey, his eyes bloodshot.
"Hello Scarlett," he said wanly, trying to smile.
"Ashley," she said moving to him. She laid a hand on his and squeezed it. "Prissy has brought some tea and sandwiches. Please try to have some." She motioned to the snoopy slave to shoo and handed Ashley a cup of the hot tea. He accepted it, but only took a few sips before setting it on the bedside table. It was strange, Scarlett thought as she looked at him, how much her feelings for him had changed over night. The man she had spent so much of her life persuing and loving was now nothing more than a friend to her. Oh how much time she had wasted. She felt suddenly sick as she thought of Rhett and how she could have spent all this time loving him. She stood quickly and felt suddenly dizzy. "OH" she gasped as her knees gave out under her. Ashley jumped up to grab her and put his arms around her waist to bring her back up to the standing position.
"Scarlett! Are you OK?" Ashley asked, a worried look on his face.
"Yes. I'm fine. I just got lightheaded for a moment. Maybe I should try to eat something." She smiled up at him. He looked so sad that she couldn't resist putting a hand on his cheek. It was at that moment that the door to the bedroom opened and India Wilkes walked in.
She looked horrified as she stared at her brother with his hands on Scarlett's waist, and she with her hand on his cheek. But, the suprise soon turned to anger and as she walked towards them, she began to speak, hatred dripping from her voice.
"I should have known," she seethed. " I should have known that you would be after my brother before Melanie was even in the ground. Why....why you are no better than that Watling woman!"
"India! Please don't speak that way! You have misinterpreted what you see here," Ashley implored his sister. "Scarlett became dizzy and I was only helping her to her feet."
"Oh please, Ashley. I have misinterpreted nothing. Everyone knows what she is and now I am going to say it!" She stood, facing the woman she had hated long before she had stolen Charles Hamilton from her. "You are no better than white trash, Scarlett. You've made a living of stealing men who don't belong to you just to benefit yourself and your own selfish intentions. Well, my brother will not be your next victim. Why, no wonder your own husband has left town!"
Rhett had left town? Not waiting to hear anything else India had to say or even to defend herself, Scarlett ran from the room and out of the house. She stood on the street for a moment not knowing which way to go. Suddenly it came to her and before she could stop herself, she was walking towards Belle Watlings. If anyone knew where Rhett was, it would be, much to Scarlett's chagrin, Belle.
Part One...After Melanie
The big house was cold and dark when Scarlett lifted her head from
her hands. The tears had long since dried up and now her mind was
spinning. Rhett. Where was Rhett? The reminder of the finality of
his words came back to her and she pushed them away. She would think
about that tomorrow. Now she had to get to Ashley. Melly had,after
all asked her to take care of him. "It's convenient to have the first
wifes permission." Rhetts words again sprang to the forefront
of her thoughts as she smoothed her hair looking at her red rimmed
eyes in the hall mirror.
It was only a short walk back to Ashley and Melanies home. But,
now
it was just Ashley. Scarlett wondered how she would ever get by
without Melly. "And I do need her dreadfully right now too, with
Rhett gone," she said aloud as she approached the door.
She found Ashley staring into the half lit fire. Mellys small white
glove was still tightly clasped in his hands.
"Ashley," she said quietly reaching out to touch his arm. When he
turned to her and she saw the pain in his eyes her heart broke.
"Oh Ashley.....What shall we do without her?"
"She loved you Scarlett. She loved everyone but, you were the sister
she never had." A small tear escaped his eyes. "I can't live
without her!"
"You need to be strong Ashley Wilkes! Remember Beau!"
He nodded and straightened his back. Putting the glove on the back
of a chair, he cleared his throut. "Beau will not see his father
cry." He started towards the stairs.
"You'll help with the arrangements?" he asked without turning around.
"Of course, Ashley. Anything," Scarlett said softly as she watched
him slowly mount the stairs.
Not wanting to go back to the huge, empty house she called home,
she retreated to the parlor. She shivered and realized the fire was
now nearly out.
"Prissy!! Where are you? Come stir this fire!....Where is that girl
everytime I need her, she murmered as she tossed some wood into the
fireplace. "It will be the strap when I get my hands on her."
She sat in front of the fire as it crackled and spit but it
failed to warm her. Where was Rhett? On his way to Belle? He
would come back to her....he had to...he did love her afterall. She
laid her head on the back of the chair and closed her eyes. "What
would Melly do?" she thought. "Silly goose!! Melly would never have
treated Rhett that way. Melly was so kind, and so good. Melly...."
She must have drifted of for the next thing she knew, Mammy was
gently shaking her shoulder.
"Miz Scarlett...Miz Scarlett. You wake up now, y'hear. Let yo Mammy
take you home lamb and I take care of you."
Scarlett allowed her self to be led to the door, where Mammy
wrapped a shawl around her thin shoulders. She didn't know what time
it was...the sky was full of threatening clouds....angry and grey.
Like Scarlett's heart. Angry at Rhett for leaving her and grey
because Melly was gone.
When they reached Scarlett's home, Mammy ordered Pork to draw a
hot bath for Scarlett and sent her upstairs while Mammy got her
something to eat. It seemed to take her forever to climb the huge
staircase. The staircase Rhett had once carried her up. Would
everything always remind her of him? She shook of those thoughts. I
had only been one day. He could still come back. The funeral!!
There was no way he would miss Melanies funeral. Scarlett smiled as
Mammy walked into her bedroom with a tray of food.
"That's a girl Miz Scarlett. What yo smilin' fo?" Mammy asked.
"I was thinking of Melanie and how she helps me even in death,"
Scarlett answered. "I need to get word to Suellen and Careen about
Melly. I know they would want to be here after all she did for them
during the war."
"Yes Miz Scarlett. You jus leave it t' me. Come on know. You's git
undressed and in that tub. Yo's shivering."
Scarlett reached over and touched Mammy's hand. "Thankyou for
always taking care of me Mammy."
She only smiled and started to undo Scarlett's dress. She knew
her good enough to know when Scarlett had a sceme in that pretty head
of hers. And she also knew it probably had something to do with Mr.
Rhett. She had seen him leave yesterday while Miz. Scarlett was at
the Wilkes home. He'd had a suitcase. They was fightin' again,
but things would be back to normal again when they both cooled off.
Miz Scarlett was just so hot headed. Why couldn't she be more like Miz Ellen...God rest her soul.
Now as Mammy pored the hot water over her head, Scarlett was still smiling. She had to get
a new dress for Melly's funeral....black of course. Something so that when she wore it, Rhett would go mad with love and come home that very night. There was no way that Belle could give him what she did. Scarlett frowned at the thought of Belle. What kind of lady could do a thing like giving herself to a man for money. When she had married Frank Kennedy, it had been to save Tara....something that needed to be done. And of course she had always loved Rhett, she just hadn't known it. But Belle. What did Rhett see in her anyways? She certainly wasn't attractive in the least. Besides, the color of her hair was indecent. With a toss of her pretty head she forgot about Belle and started to eat the soup and fresh bread Mammy had left for her. With her mouth full, Scarlett said to Mammy, "I will be needing a new dress for the funeral. And a new hat too. Something with a nice big bow under the chin." She snuggled down into the warm blankets. She didn't mind if Rhett wasn't there. When he saw her in a few days, he'd be back. Warm thoughts of him taking her in his arms and saying that he was wrong to leave filled her mind until she fell asleep.
It was then that the nightmares started. Yankees at Tara.....Bonnie falling from the pony.....Melanie dying....and images of Rhett and Belle laughing at her were filling her dreams. She tossed and turned all night and woke with sweat poring from her forhead. She cursed the darkness and retreated downstairs. The clock read 4am. These nightmares just had to stop she thought as she walked towards the decanter and poured herself a glass of brandy. She downed it and poured another. She walked back up to her room, drank the brandy and got back into bed. She did sleep a fitful couple of hours, when Mammy came and woke her up to say that she had company. "Is it Rhett??" she aked jumping out of bed and heading for the closet.
"No Miz Scarlett. Is Dr. and Mizzes Meade," she said as she helped Scarlett into the dress she had picked from the closet. "They's be wantin' to talk 'bout Miz Melly's funeral wid you."
Scarlett scowled as Mammy brushed back her hair into a tight roll at the back of her neck. Ashley had asked her to help with the arrangements and she wasn't going to let anyone, let alone the Meades, tell her what should be done. Melly was her best friend and she new what was best for her. She checked in the mirror and satisfied that she looked mournful enough, made her way down the stairs. Why do I care what they think anyway, she thought annoyed at herself for caring. Because I want people to know that I really loved Melly and they all think I used her as a way to get to Ashley. That might have been true at the beginning, but not at the end. Damn it!! Why did this happen to her? Melly would have been the one that Scarlett had gone to for advise about the funeral. And now she was on her own with Rhett who knows where and Ashley would be no good to anyone for a while to come. Life had always been unfair to her. She stopped before she entered the parlor and took a deep breath.
"Dr. Meade, Mrs. Meade," she said softly, bringing her handkerchief up and lightly dabbing her nose.
"Good morning Scarlett, said Dr. Meade while Mrs. Meade mearly nodded. "Sorry to bother you but under the circumstances we felt we must come and discuss some things with you."
"I understand and I can assure you that everything will be taken care of. Ashley has asked me to make the arrangements and I will do so."
She saw Mrs. Meades eyes flash, but just for a second. This caused Scarlett's head to raise just slightly. Mrs. Meade continued, "Of course. If there is anything we can do to help, you must let us know."
"I will. And thank you," she added. The old cat. What was she going to do when Ashley had already requested Scarlett's help. She led them to the door and as it closed behind the Meades, Scarlett felt all her strength leave with them. It was so hard to keep a brave face and remain strong when all she really wanted to do was lock herself in her room. And to have another drink of brandy. But she musn't just yet for she needed to go and see Ashley.
Aunt Pitty Pat Hamilton answered the door, her smelling salts gripped in her chubby hands. The damn lady is shaking more than usual, Scarlett mused as she watched the ridiculous curls dance all over her head.
"Oh Scarlett," she wailed. "This is just terrible. How shall we all go on? Poor Ashley didn't sleep a wink last night. And everytime I move I fear I shall faint! "
"Stop!" Scarlett demanded harshly, grabbing hold of the old lady's arm. "It will do nobody any good to see you acting so. Ashley and Beau need our strength right now." She turned to Prissy. " Go and brew some tea and serve it to Aunt Pitty in her bedroom. And then some tea and sandwiches to Mr. Ashley. And no dawdling!"
She turned, pausing only for a second to catch her breath and walked up the stairs to Ashley's room. People would surely talk about her being alone with Ashley in such intimate quarters and so soon after the death of his wife. Rhett was sure to hear, the way gossip traveled through this town. But, at this moment she didn't care. A promise was a promise and nothing the old pea hens could say would make her break her last promise to Melly. She hadn't always been kind to Melanie and she was going to make up for that now if she had to fight with her last breath.
The door to Ashley's room was open just enough for Scarlett to look in. Ashley sat in a chair with his head in his hands. Although it pained her to disturb his grieving, she knocked at the door. Ashley turned his face towards her and she was shocked to see how much he had changed in such a short time. He had aged ten years in the last day....his unshaven face was grey, his eyes bloodshot.
"Hello Scarlett," he said wanly, trying to smile.
"Ashley," she said moving to him. She laid a hand on his and squeezed it. "Prissy has brought some tea and sandwiches. Please try to have some." She motioned to the snoopy slave to shoo and handed Ashley a cup of the hot tea. He accepted it, but only took a few sips before setting it on the bedside table. It was strange, Scarlett thought as she looked at him, how much her feelings for him had changed over night. The man she had spent so much of her life persuing and loving was now nothing more than a friend to her. Oh how much time she had wasted. She felt suddenly sick as she thought of Rhett and how she could have spent all this time loving him. She stood quickly and felt suddenly dizzy. "OH" she gasped as her knees gave out under her. Ashley jumped up to grab her and put his arms around her waist to bring her back up to the standing position.
"Scarlett! Are you OK?" Ashley asked, a worried look on his face.
"Yes. I'm fine. I just got lightheaded for a moment. Maybe I should try to eat something." She smiled up at him. He looked so sad that she couldn't resist putting a hand on his cheek. It was at that moment that the door to the bedroom opened and India Wilkes walked in.
She looked horrified as she stared at her brother with his hands on Scarlett's waist, and she with her hand on his cheek. But, the suprise soon turned to anger and as she walked towards them, she began to speak, hatred dripping from her voice.
"I should have known," she seethed. " I should have known that you would be after my brother before Melanie was even in the ground. Why....why you are no better than that Watling woman!"
"India! Please don't speak that way! You have misinterpreted what you see here," Ashley implored his sister. "Scarlett became dizzy and I was only helping her to her feet."
"Oh please, Ashley. I have misinterpreted nothing. Everyone knows what she is and now I am going to say it!" She stood, facing the woman she had hated long before she had stolen Charles Hamilton from her. "You are no better than white trash, Scarlett. You've made a living of stealing men who don't belong to you just to benefit yourself and your own selfish intentions. Well, my brother will not be your next victim. Why, no wonder your own husband has left town!"
Rhett had left town? Not waiting to hear anything else India had to say or even to defend herself, Scarlett ran from the room and out of the house. She stood on the street for a moment not knowing which way to go. Suddenly it came to her and before she could stop herself, she was walking towards Belle Watlings. If anyone knew where Rhett was, it would be, much to Scarlett's chagrin, Belle.