Buffy rolled over on the concrete floor, feeling the satin slide across
her. Umph. Had to be the weirdest texture combination. Satin sheet, no
pillow, concrete. Spike should start a Holiday Inn. She sat up, wincing as
she heard her back crack. She stumbled to the small kitchenette, glaring
at his coffee-maker till it made sense to her. Waiting for it to drip, she
mumbled, "Stupid back. I slay for six-seven years, no big. Here comes the
biiiig scary DoubleMeat, and bam! Bad Buffy Back."
As soon as it hit the two cup mark, she jerked it out, and poured a cup in a mug she prayed Spike hadn't used for blood lately. Jammed it back it. "I hate you," she muttered. "I hate the world. I hate my back. I can't wait for the next apocalypse. I'll let you all fry."
The coffee maker stopped sputtering out it's live-giving sustenance. She knew there was something wrong with it. She shook her thumb at it. "See this?? I can kill you ten different ways with it. Give!" She hit the top petulantly. Hopefully, "Please?"
Spike heard her grumblings, and moreover sensed her absence from the floor near him. He sat up, blinked absently, yawned, and slowly stood up, stretching his injured side and hip slightly. He walked toward Buffy's voice. "Tap the on/off button a couple of times."
She jumped, sloshing the still hot coffee over her hand. "Oww." She glared at the coffee-maker, knowing somehow, it was this things fault. She smacked the on/off button. "I hate you."
Spike's eyes got wide and he rushed to her side, concern coming off him in waves. "Are you okay? Lemme see your hand."
She waved him off. "Fine."
He grabbed her hand anyway, looking at the minor burns. He turned on the cold water and held her hand beneath it. "I know you think you're invincible, but humor me."
She shivered at his touch, awareness running through her. She was awake now. "Ok." Meekly.
He smiled at her, and turned off the water. "The sun's not even up yet, and I'm already helping you. Here's another thing to add to the 'Weird Things About Spike' list." He looked at her hand again. "There. All better."
She smiled, and picked up her mug. Took a sip, even though it was black. "Perfect." She put a hand sleepily to the back of her head, forgetting she was tousled, and hair-sticky-uppy. No lip-glossy. Pajama-ee
He reached over and smoothed down a lock of hair that was standing at attention. Chuckled. "Want a brush, luv?"
Her eyes rounded. Closed in embarrassment. "Way with the morning ugly, I assume."
He smiled, kissed her forehead, and walked to the fridge. "I thought I told you that I think you're cute like that. Besides, I can't look much better."
Her eyes roamed over his turned back. The hell he couldn't. Bed-sexy was definitely applicable here. She gave a mental, 'Rowr.'
"Did you say somethin', luv?", Spike asked, keeping his back to her and rooting through the fridge.
She smirked at the thought and took a sip of her coffee, promptly choking. "No. What'd you hear?"
He turned around, holding an orange. "Dunno. Could've been Harm. Sounded like a cat."
She shrugged. "Maybe he's hungry."
Spike looked over to the cat's bowls that were on a mat in the shape of a giant Tweety Bird. "No. He's got plenty of dry food. And a little of the canned stuff left from last night." He glanced around, taking a small knife out of a drawer and proceeding to peel his orange. "Besides, I don't even see- Oh, there he is. On the couch with Dawn."
She nodded, then looked up shyly. "Um... brush?"
He looked at her for a moment. "You don't really need it now. I got rid of the one that was standing up. Now you're just cute. But if you want it, there's one on the nightstand. By my glasses case."
She nodded, walked to retrieve it. Running it through her hair, she looked at his glasses case. "It has a Tigger."
"I like Tigger," Spike replied, walking back into the 'bedroom' and offering her half the orange.
She took it, set it on the bedstand for when she was done brushing her hair. "And it's not nice to tell me I look cute in the morning."
He sat on the bed. "And why not?"
"One. Lying upsets your soul. And two, My hair is sticky uppy, I have no lipgloss, and when I TRY to look pretty, no one notices. I think from now on I'll just walk around in pajamas and bad hair. Oh, I'll have to beat men off with a stake." She pantomimed beating guys off by swinging the brush in front of her.
He chuckled and took a bite of orange. "One: I'm not lying. And Two: You're hair is cute, I don't care about the lip gloss, and I always notice that you're pretty. Because you always are."
She was tingling, because he was tingling. He wanted to touch her. But couldn't figure out why she was running scared. She grinned, and started to eat her half of the orange. "Thank you."
He grinned back and finished his half of the orange. "You're welcome."
She leaned forward, compelled to do something constructive, and picked up her sheet off the ground. Froze as her back pulled, and a sickening feeling rolled through her stomach at the sound. She tried to contain her wince and set the sheet on the bed.
Spike not only caught the wince, he felt her back catch. 'Damn, I thought the bond would be broken by now,' he thought. "Luv," he said aloud. "Do you.. Uh, is your back alright? Do you need me to rub it for you?" 'Absolutely no sexual undertone to THAT question,' he thought sarcastically.
She looked at him cautiously. "It'll be ok."
He ducked his head. "I won't hurt you, you know. I just want to help you feel better."
She sighed. She was never gonna beat the whole 'bond' thing if she didn't work at it. "Sorry... everyone who's ever rubbed my back was... um... sucky. Do you... really want to?"
"Yes. Besides, I owe you one, remember?", he said with a chuckle.
She smiled. "Yeah. So.. um... how....?"
He stood up. "Well, first you lay down. Do you want me to rub through your shirt, or roll it up?" He backpedaled. "Uh, that is, the pajama shirt, in back only..."
She laid down on his bed, trying to read what he wanted. If there were any undertones. "You can roll it up."
'Bloody idiot,' Spike thought, unaware that she could hear him. 'Way to make her nervous. She doesn't trust you yet.'
Buffy immediately relaxed her body into the sheets. "Well, Mr. Magic Hands?" She had to make him more comfortable. When he was cozy, so was she.
Spike gave an uncertain grin, and settled himself on the bed next to her, carefully rolling up the back of her pajama shirt, exposing the smooth skin of her back to him. "Ok. Now, where exactly does it hurt?"
She said pitifully, "Ya know.. the back area."
He grinned playfully, ran a finger up her spine. "There's a lot of back here, luv. I need directions."
A small "Oh" escaped her lips. "Um... my spine. And low, and by my ribs?"
He nodded. "Ok. Now tell me if anything is uncomfortable, luv." He started low on her back, alternately rubbing and gently using his knuckles to work out the first cramp that he found.
She smiled lazily and propped her head on her folded arms. "Mmm..."
He continued to work the muscle, gently, slowly, until the cramp was gone. Then he moved up to the other side. Repeated the motions with the cramp that he found there. And then for a moment just rubbed both sides at once, to relax the muscles completely and ensure that the cramps wouldn't come back. "How're we doin' so far, luv?"
She moaned low in her throat. "Mmm... as long as we're not stopping for a few months, we're good..."
He chuckled, then started on her spine. He ground his knuckles gently into the backbone, working out a cramp that seemed to stretch the entire length of the Slayer's back.
She let out a sigh, ending with a contented smile.
That cramp didn't want to go easily. It took a good fifteen minutes of rubbing and squeezing to remove it. Then, as he had done before, he continued his gently rubbing up and down her spine, making sure that it would be a long time before she got a cramp there again.
Buffy was absolutely unaware of any noises she made while he was rubbing her spine. It felt so good, and easy, and loose...
Spike chuckled. He thought that HE was the only one who could purr. "You hurting anywhere else, Slayer?"
She tilted her head into the bed, exposing her neck. Anything, just not stopping. "Neck?"
He grinned and obediently began rubbing her neck. There wasn't even a cramp there, but there was a minor amount of tension. He rubbed until even that was gone. "How's that?"
She made a totally non-sensical noise. "Mngt."
Spike held in a laugh, and kept rubbing, sliding his hands from her neck, down between her shoulder blades, all the way almost to her tail bone, then sliding back up, squeezing gently the whole way.
Bliss. Pure bliss was hers, and she reveled in it. She was trying to keep the 'rawr' feelings to a minimum, but they were creeping up on her, just as his hands were creeping up her back.
He slipped his hands around, rubbing between the ribs. If he had done it any lighter, it would have tickled. As it was, the feeling was total pleasure, and Spike knew it.
Heat. Everything in her contracted and released at the same time, and now her whole being was focused on the measuring of her heartrate. Flashing through her mind was every time those hands had been on her, squeezing her ribs, her hips. Letting her know, that he knew, that her body was his.
He continued with the ribs, alternating rubbing between them, and right on top of them. He could sense her feelings, and he knew that she was loving this. His hands went lower, rubbing the junction of ribs and hips, two fingers going under the elastic waist of her pajamas for a better grip. "Just tell me when you're ready to stop, luv."
She whimpered in her head. Deep sexy voice. She took a quiet gasp of breath. "Now is fine."
He obediently stopped, pulled her pajama shirt back down, and sat at the head of the bed.
She laid still a moment, composing, pulling herself together. She sat up slowly, stretched. "Thank you."
He smiled at her. "You're welcome. Feel better?"
'Just a jumble of mental tension...' "Loads."
He ignored the mental message, except to remind himself to do some research on the blood bond later. "So, I'm guessing that I'm not 'sucky', huh?"
She smiled. "Consider yourself kidnapped."
He cocked his head sideways. "Kidnapped?"
She nodded, and laid back down on the bed on her back. "Mmm-hmm. I'm keeping you for my very own masseuse."
He grinned. "Oh, that's not kidnapping. Especially if you agree to do the same for me from time to time." Chuckled. "Just go easy on the ribs. I don't want to kick my leg off."
She smiled lazily. "Yeah, that makes ya feel good."
He laughed. "You have no idea." He stretched out beside her on his side, looking at her. "I'm guessing you're relaxed, huh? Shot in the dark."
She smiled, feeling his own lack of tension. "Mmm... totally and completely."
He grinned, rolled onto his back and stretched, feeling his own back pop comfortably as he did.
She tsk-ed him. "Gettin' old. You're starting to creak like our stairs."
He chuckled. "You haven't heard my knees when I've been sitting a long time. Sounds like the cannons in the 1812 overture."
She crinkled her nose. "Ew."
"I'm kidding, luv. More like a champagne cork."
A shudder ran through her body. "Sick."
He grinned at her. "Come on, luv. Slayers don't get grossed out that easily. You can chop the head off a demon and watch the slime spray on a wall, but you can't take a few old bone sounds?"
"It's the... popping-ness. That's fluid being pushed from their normal place with pressure. It's gross."
"That's what happens when you open a coke."
She gave him a droll look. "Wow. It's a good think I don't drink my own body fluids. Or that'd really be gross."
Spike made a face. "I do not drink MY blood. So that doesn't even count."
"Mmm-hmm..."
He poked her hip just to make a playful point.
She squirmed. "Don't take away the relaxedness."
He chuckled. "Gotcha. No removing of relaxedness." Buffy sighed, looked at her sister snuggled on the couch. "How does she sleep like that?"
Spike glanced at Dawn. "Dunno. The sleep of the innocent. She doesn't have any reason not to sleep like that, so she does."
Buffy shrugged in agreement. "I can barely remember when I could sleep like that."
"I can't remember mine at all," Spike said quietly.
She glanced at him. "You can't remember your home?"
He gave a rueful chuckle. "If you're talking about when I was human, not really. I told you, I didn't have any friends, my parents were too busy for me, and didn't care to boot. All I had going for me was my little sister who died when I was ten. I guess that's when I stopped being able to sleep like that."
"How did she-"
"Pneumonia. Nearly got me too."
"Pneumonia? But that's-" She stopped. It wasn't fixable in the 1800's. "I'm sorry."
"It was a long time ago." A sigh. "Doesn't matter anymore."
She gave herself a second to prepare for the pain, then took his hand. "It always matters."
He smiled. "How come you care about me? And why does Dawn? And why did your mum? I don't deserve people like you."
Buffy rolled, still holding his hand, and kissed his cheek. "Everyone deserves people who care."
He blinked back a tear. "But why do you care?"
"I think we care because you have a big- if scheming- heart. And normal hearts just don't impress us."
He chuckled. "Well, you're right about one thing. No one in this group is normal."
"Yup. Normal is boring."
He laughed, and nuzzled her gently. "Thanks for making me feel better, luv. You're getting good at this."
Buffy could feel him mulling over something in the back of his mind. She needed to know what it was. She smiled at him. "Thanks. What are you worrying about?"
He looked at her. "I'm not worried about anything."
She shrugged, made something up quickly. "You had that line. Here." She poked a finger between his eyebrows.
He 'grr'ed playfully, and batted her hand away. "Are you saying that I have wrinkles?" 'Change the subject,' he thought. 'Don't worry her. Not important.'
She smiled, but heard his thoughts. "Lots when you get bumpy."
"That doesn't count."
She laid her head on his chest, relaxed. "Guess not." She laid in reflective silence, hoping he'd do the same.
He slipped an arm around her, immensely enjoying their closeness, but still thinking. 'It should have worn off by now. No blood bond, Slayer's blood or not, should last more than two days. And yet... what the bloody hell is going on? Her feelings, her thoughts, sometimes. Not normal. At least, I don't think so. Maybe it is. After all, I've never had a bond with a living person, let alone a Slayer. Who's to say what's normal, anyway? Look at yourself. Vampire, without soul, falls for Slayer, becomes obsessed with not hurting her, and it get's bad enough that he goes and does the one thing he swore to never do: Get a bleedin' soul. And what good did it do, anyway? I wonder if she's figured out that I never wanted the chip out. That I was after the soul all along. Maybe I'll tell her... someday.'
Buffy wiped her mind carefully clean. "Spike?"
"Yeah?"
She nuzzled him softly, and said, "I'm glad you're my friend."
He smiled. "I'm glad we can be friends, after all I've put you through." Gave her a sideways hug.
She shrugged. "And vice versa."
"Naw. I'm much worse than you. All you really did was drop a church on me." He grinned. "And annoyed the hell out of me, but that's beside the point."
She laughed. Distractions equals goodness. No more blood thinking. She put a hand softly on his chest, looked at his lips, then his eyes. "We're not always just going to be friends, though, right?"
He smiled again. "I'm hoping for more. But it's really up to you. Whatever we wind up as, though, I hope nothing changes this. Being together, laughing, having fun, helping eachother. I hope that doesn't change, cause I like it."
She smiled genuinely, touched her lips to his. A flood of emotions washed through both of their minds, some her's, and some his. Love, happiness, fear, pain, longing, and more love. Spike deepened the kiss, allowing his tongue to duel playfully with hers before pulling back and alternately nuzzling and kissing a path down her neck. Buffy tilted her neck, allowing him easier access. He continued blazing a trail down her throat, nipping playfully with his blunt teeth part of the time. True, she had wanted to shift his mind gears, but always, when he touched her body, he touched something inside. She lay on her back, looked up at him.
Spike stopped, looked at the positions that they were in, and froze, a streak of fear racing through his mind. He wouldn't hurt her again. He couldn't move.
Her hand snaked up to the back of his head, and she drew it back to her neck, head tilted up. Hoped he caught the significance. Trust.
Spike relaxed and went back to his playful nipping and licking, under an ear this time. Knowing from experience that it was one of Buffy's weak spots, like his earlobe was one of his.
A slow, female smile curved her lips, and under his, her body shook. In a rough whisper she said, "Cheater."
"Takes one to know one, Slayer," he whispered in her ear, then shifted to do the same thing to the other side. Didn't want that side to feel left out.
She ran her hands over his arms, her fingers playing with his own, then abandoning them to curl in his hair.
Remembering the 'above the waist' rule, he slipped a hand into her pajama shirt, sliding it around her ribs. He purred while he kissed her neck, loving the feeling of her fingers in his hair.
She arched her body into his touch, ducking her head to press her lips to his. Spike returned the kiss, purring into her mouth, his hands finding the spots on her sides that he knew so well. They rivaled the under her ears in sensitivity.
She gently bit his bottom lip playfully, nibbled at each corner of his mouth, ran her tongue along the seam in his lips, dragging in a deep breath before they kissed.
Spike moaned happily, and went back to her throat, going down over her chin and straight down her neck, stopping to nibble and lick just above her pajama neckline.
She sighed, her body moving restlessly, one leg wrapping around Spike's. Spike paused. Looked her in the eyes. "Do you want to stop?", he said, panting slightly.
She leaned her head back, pulling in deep breaths. "Dawn."
"Huh?"
She closed her eyes. "My sister is asleep on your couch... and I'm about to-"
Spike grinned, kissed under an ear again, rubbing her side at the same time. "About to what?"
She wrapped a leg around his, and hitched herself up for a bit more leverage, rubbed against him, sucking on his neck. "Something like that."
Spike's eyes crossed momentarily, and he also forgot how to speak. "Uhgni.."
She felt his pain. But still bit at his neck gently. "Mmm-hmm.."
Spike moaned, and nearly lost his marginal control right there. "B-Buffy... stop.." But he was thinking just the opposite.
Buffy pulled back, the arousal in voice and thoughts slightly throwing her. She scrambled off the bed. "I'm sorry."
He sat up. "Wait... What? No. Don't be sorry, luv. I started it. It's my fault."
Her own desire still rocking her system, she shook her head in disgust. How horrible could she be?? Her baby sister was sleeping on the couch, less then fifteen feet away, and here she was, jumping some guy. An incredibly hot guy, but never the less..
"Luv, come back. Sit down. I'll be good. I promise."
She glanced worriedly at the couch, his words not really registering. Still asleep.
Unfortunately, it was then that he picked up a stray emotion. Disgust. He misinterpreted. "I.. uh.. have to go to the bathroom!", he said quickly. Hoping that the fact that vampires didn't pee wouldn't hit her until after he got away. 'Stupid, bloody vampire. You felt that emotion. She thinks you're disgusting. How could you ever think that she could love you?'
Buffy sat on the bed, her head in her hands. Shit. Just.... Shit... and 'How could you ever think that she could love you?' -what? Where had that- ? Oh, God. Spike. She ran barefoot to the tunnel, knocked on the door. "Can you talk while you're in there?"
The door was closed, but not locked. And she could hear the sounds of snuffling from inside. There was no answer. Not spoken, anyway. 'She'll go away. Just be quiet. Doesn't care.. Can't breathe.'
She sat down outside the door. "Well, I can talk while you're in there. We can't- Spike... I like... I like... being with you... like that. But it was selfish of me to... to want to... be with you while my sister was here..."
'Trying to make you feel better. Doesn't really mean it.' This thought was followed by a now audible sobbing. Then the sink turned on. 'Drown the sound out. Don't let her see.'
"If she had woken up... I can't... She doesn't... understand that kind of want... that need. I care Spike. I care what she thinks of me. And... and you. And of us, being together. I want her to... respect it. And how can she when I can be so reckless?"
'Maybe she does care? No.. Maybe? Don't know. Can't breathe.'
She laid a hand on the knob, turned it. She walked in, closed the door, and sat on the floor. "Hey."
Spike was curled up in the corner next to the toilet, also on the floor. He glanced up. His eyes were reddened by the tears, and they were still falling. "Why'd you come in?", he asked quietly.
She shrugged. "Why'd you run away?"
He sniffed. "Felt like it." 'Don't like you seeing me cry. Weak. Pitiful, William.'
She sighed. "We weren't gonna walk away anymore. Crying doesn't make you... pitiful."
'Pathetic.' "I didn't walk. I trotted."
She gave him a half smile. "Har har." She glanced down. Her toes were cold. "I wish I could cry."
He looked at her. "Why can't you?" 'If you're out of tears, I've got some to spare,' he thought sarcastically.
Shrugged. "I dunno. I can cry for other people. People I care about... But I'm kinda all cried out over me."
He "pfft"ed. "Apparently, I'm not. Hundred and thirty years old, and I'm still just a wimpy, bad poetry writing, poofter."
She looked at him. "I really really like you. I could even fall in love with you. I like your poetry. I love that you can cry, and you were strong enough to carry a fifteen year old emotionally after her mom and sister died." She raised a hand for his silence. "I'm not done."
He had opened his mouth, but quickly closed it.
"You've gained the respect and friendship of people who have done nothing for the past seven years but think of creative ways to dust you. You've averted apocalypses, and have a soul. And you happen to be pretty damn hot." She could have sworn that the vampire blushed. "So what, exactly, is the sad, pitiful, pathetic weak part of that? Because I fail to see it."
He looked at her, his thoughts jumbled. 'Is she right? But what about... Doesn't matter? Could fall in love with me? She likes me?' He made an amused noise. "Define 'respect and friendship', because I don't really see it in anyone but you, the Bit, Red, and sometimes Rupert. Anya is confusing, and I know Harris really doesn't like me, if not downright hates me."
She frowned. "Well, Spike, usually, after a one night stand? You don't see the person anymore. If you have any questions about Standard Operating Procedure there, ask Parker. He's great at it. She kinda sees you all the time. And so does the ex that caused the fling." She smiled. "To my saintly credit, I never hit Anya."
Spike growled. "Don't mention Parker, the asshole." He looked at her. "Did you want to? Hit Anya, I mean."
She considered. "I used to. I had to not see her for a couple days. But no. I understand."
He looked at her hopefully. "You do? What do you understand about it? Cause I'm still unclear." He thought. "Could have been the whiskey."
She said softly, "Tequila, Jack Daniel's, and brandy."
He chuckled. "Yeah. I'm this close to quitting drinking entirely after that. Now, what do you understand?"
Her eyes focused hazily on the floor. "If it's not about emotion, then it's about feeling. Wanting to feel something."
He nodded. "That's how some relationships start, isn't it. When you want someone to take the hurt away?"
She looked him in the eye. "You wanted caring. So did she."
"I meant with you and I."
Panic. Pure unadulterated panic swept her system clear of anything she could say to help herself out. Yes. Panic, and desperation. "What do you mean?"
Spike looked at her, feeling the panic that was coursing through her. He forced himself to ignore it. "When you started with me, it was just so that you could feel something. Is it still like that?"
"D-Do I feel something? Of course I feel something. It's not... not just about feeling something now. I... It's..."
"Yes?"
"It's caring. I care about you. I care for you."
He felt tears threatening again, but held back. 'Enough of being a poofter for one night,' he thought with a mental growl. "You care... About me? But you don't love me." That was not a question. He honestly believed it.
She felt her shoulders hunching up, protecting from the emotional blows she was feeling. "Why are you pushing me?" she cried.
He slowly stood up. Walked two steps closer, and sat down again, within arms reach this time. "I'm sorry, luv. I know that it's hard for you. I just wish I knew why. It's so easy for me to tell you how I feel. I don't understand why it's so hard for you. Please forgive me. I didn't mean to push you." He considered offering a hug, but decided against it. No need to tempt fate.
She ran a hand over her face. Said tiredly, "We said... we promised. Slow. You haven't even been back for two months, and we almost... with Dawn in the room."
"I'm sorry."
"And... I know... I know you want a big emotional... thing, scene, and I can't... I'm not good at them, Spike. And, ya know what? Sure. I'm scared. Too much, too fast." She gave him a gentle look. "But.. good at the same time."
He nodded. "I know. I'm scared too. I've never felt anything like this, and the... intensity.. It frightens me." He wiped away a stray tear on her face. "And you're right. This is good. Good that we can talk, can connect, can understand what the other one thinks and feels. But you know what?"
A quiet, slightly fearful, "What?"
He gave a small chuckle. "There's such a thing as TOO much understanding. I don't know what you're getting, but I'm ready for this blood bond to break." He looked at her. "Unless it's just me who's still getting thoughts and emotions."
She shrugged. ""Lightly, once in a while. But not... uber-heavy emotion stuff."
He looked at her. "Yeah? What're you getting?"
She shrugged again. "I got sad at work, but it wasn't... 'I work at the Double Meat' sad. It wasn't my grief."
He took a quick breath. "The tower dream? You felt that?"
"I didn't.... see your dream, if that's what you mean. I just felt, sad, kinda hysterical for a couple seconds. What- what do you get?"
He cocked his head. "I'm not sure. Earlier today, I thought I was getting actual words. A word here, a sentence there. But when we were... almost.. you know... I felt almost as if I was in two bodies at once. Strange. Did you get that?"
She cocked her head to the side, pretended to consider. "A little..." 'like four times that...'..."Yeah."
He grinned. "And there's a sentence. And I quote: "like four times that.." ."
She gave him a quick grin. "I was testing."
"Oh, were you, now?"
Gave a shaky sigh. "Go you with the mind reading!" Bright cheery smile.
He ducked his head. "I hope... I hope that not everything you've gotten from me was all... painful stuff."
She shook her head. "No.. sometimes, I feel really... easy, content, and I know that's not mine either. But no scenes... no words."
"Oh. I guess it's stronger on my end."
Buffy shrugged helplessly. "Sorry."
"Come on, luv," Spike said, standing up and offering her a hand. "Let's go wake your sis. It's time for the two of you to head home."
She nodded. "Yeah... We've got groceries to get..." She took his hand, stood.
Spike, in true chivalrous fashion, held the door for her. "After you."
She gave him a weird look then trooped into the crypt. And found Dawn sitting on the couch, curled into a ball, knees tight to her chest, arms crossed, looking suspiciously like she had been crying, her face infinitely unsure and scared.
Spike immediately sat down next to her. "What's wrong, Lil' Bit? You have a nightmare?" He gently rubbed small circles on her back.
Dawn swallowed, looked like she finally got her bearings and said softly. "Yeah. Real nightmare."
He hugged her softly. "What happened, Niblet?"
Buffy crossed more slowly, grabbing a glass of water on her way. Knelt in front of her. "Dawnie... What happened?" Looked at Spike's gullible face and said, "Really."
Dawn grabbed the water and drank defensively. "I told you. Nightmare."
Spike snorted at the Slayer, then turned his attention back to Dawn, not completely letting go of her.
Buffy swept a hand across Dawn's face, moving stray pieces of her hair out of her watery eyes. "You wake up screaming from nightmares, Dawnie. Who's bed did you used to sneak into?"
At her sisters defiant eyeroll, she grabbed Dawn's chin gently. "Tell me."
"Come on, Bit," the vampire added. "Tell us. Maybe we can help."
Dawn receded more into the corner of the couch, slowly pulling from both their touches. "I heard you yelling."
Spike glanced at Buffy, a worried look on his face. "Yeah. We had a bit of a fight. But we worked it out. We're okay, now. Right, Slayer?"
Buffy nodded. Emphatically. "Way ok. See, Dawn? We're ok."
Dawn got stiff. "That's what mom and dad would say, Buffy, and you know it."
Her sister winced. She did, indeed. She took a deep breath.
Spike looked at Buffy, totally clueless about what to do. 'Teenagers are so confusing,' Spike thought, deliberately thinking loudly so that the Slayer would hear it.
"Dawn... sometimes, we- especially Spike and I- need to shout to get our point across." She shook her head at Spike. She knew exactly. Painfully exactly what her sister meant. She continued. "It doesn't mean we hate eachother, or... or that anyone is... is gonna get hit." She looked at Dawn meaningfully.
Dawn looked at her sister hopefully.
Spike tried to help. "We've spent nearly the entire time that we've known each other beating the crap out of each other. Old habits die hard. And all we did was yell. And we don't even usually do that."
Buffy said cautiously, "We could hurt eachother, Dawn. We might say things we don't mean." Her hand petted Dawn's knee through the blanket.
Spike grinned at Buffy. "Actually, we've been getting along quite well lately."
She gave him a look. 'A little more innuendo for my sister, please??' "But we'll work it out, too. And it will never, ever change how we are around you."
Dawn was visibly relaxing.
Buffy said, "If we do fight, Dawn, I'll never forbid you to go see him, I promise. And if he's mad at me, he'll never -ever- get mad at you, too." She looked at Spike for confirmation. "Right, Spike?"
Spike chuckled. "What matters is that we're trying, Bit. We can't ask too much of each other right now, because neither of us is ready. And, when one of us pushes the wrong button, the other one yells. It's what we do." He gave Dawn a gentle hug. "She's right. I'll never be mad at you."
Dawn tucked her hair behind her ears. "So... you're like... not mad? Or anything?"
Spike grinned. "Nope. I'm feeling pretty good. How're you, Slayer?"
She smiled. "Better. Because we talked it out, Dawnie. A little loudly, but... we're fine now. How are you?"
Dawn shrugged. "Better."
Spike smiled at the teenager. "Good. Now, you two had better run along home, before it's too late and Rupert comes back and beats me up again for keeping you so long."
Dawn gaped. "Giles did WHAT?"
Buffy covered quickly. "He's kidding, Dawn."
'Oops', Spike thought. 'Sorry. Thought she knew.' "Yeah, Bit. Kidding."
"Giles came looking for me, and he and Spike had words. That's all. He's scared of Giles being all grrr-British-on-his-butt."
Dawn giggled.
"HEY! I'm not scared of Rupert," Spike snorted, then moved to the other end of the couch, away from the sisters. "Me? Scared of a Watcher? What's next? Running from Harris?"
Buffy rolled her eyes at Dawn, who looked decidedly better. "C'mon, Dawn. Grab a pair of my clothes and go change, brush your teeth, that stuff. Then we've gotta go shopping."
Dawn hopped up, revealing her jamma-wear. Old sweats, way too long, and a black tee-shirt. "Anything I want?"
Buffy rolled her eyes, gave a fake groan of pain. "You are SUCH an operator. Anything."
Spike stood up decidedly slower and walked to the bed, leaving the sisters to figure this out. He laid down, content to watch.
Dawn grabbed her cutest clothes and scampered off to the bathroom before her sister changed her mind.
"Hurt them and your *dead*!" Buffy called after her. Her only response was the bathroom door slamming.
Spike chuckled from his spot on the bed. "Sure you can handle her, luv? She's a handful."
Buffy flopped on her back, on the bed beside Spike. "No... Ugh... I'll never see those pants again." She smiled at him. "How do you think I did?"
He pretended to think. "Hmm. I give it a 5.8 for presentation, and a 6.0 for technical merit."
She flopped a hand out to smack him half-heartedly. "No way. I give it a 10."
He chuckled and rolled out of the way of her hand, causing her to hit the pillow instead. "I was doing figure skating scores, luv. 6.0 is the highest."
"Oh." She gave a smug grin. "Yeah. Definitely a six."
"I thought you'd know that. You used to skate, didn't you? You've got that little picture of you on your desk."
She shook her head. "Only for fun."
"Ah. Now me, I've never done anything like that. Don't have the natural grace for it. I'd look like a penguin, while you're a swan."
She rolled her eyes. "Yeah... and I hear blah-blah-blah-blah- I'm full of crap-blah-blah-blah..."
"Oh come on, luv. I mean it. I would like to ask you somethin', though. About something that I overheard you think a while ago."
Her eyes grew round, and she trailed off on her 'blah''s that she had kept up through his speech. "Huh?"
"When we were.. kissing, earlier. After we pulled back. I very clearly heard the word 'disgust'. I just wanted to know..." He looked away, then back again, determined to face her answer. "Do you... Was it me that disgusted you?"
She pursed her lips. "No." In her mind, unnoticed by her, it echoed firmly. "I was just... It was directed to me."
He looked at her. "You were disgusted with yourself? For kissing me? Or for almost.. when Dawn was in the room?" He looked at her, his blue eyes half closed. "Because I'd hate to think that the soul has made me a bad kisser."
She blushed, very, very lightly. "She could have woken up at anytime... She can't- I don't even want her to understand how much I want you."
He gave a wolfish grin. "Want me? Well, I'm free now..." He leaned toward her, his body language and mind telling her that, no matter what he'd just said, he wasn't going any further than she would let him.
She smiled back, reached forward, ran a hand down his chest. A welcome if she had ever given one. He purred at her touch, and pulled her into a kiss. Lovingly touching his cold lips to her warm ones. She drew in his bottom lip, nibbled it softly. Spike nuzzled her, resting their foreheads together as he mimicked her actions with her lip and his teeth. Her body responded to the touch, moving closer.
Spike slid a hand around her, rubbing her back in a gentle, calming motion. It served not to get either of them too worked up, while allowing some of the touch that the vampire craved. He pulled from her mouth for a moment, and playfully kissed the tip of her nose. She scrunched her nose playfully, enjoying his touch, adding her own to the front of his chest, above the bandages for his ribs. Spike grinned for a moment, before returning to her mouth, allowing his tongue to play across her lips. At the same time, he pushed into her hands, loving the contact. Like an overgrown cat. Her mouth opened under his, her hands kneading at his chest gently.
Spike purred as his tongue dueled playfully with the Slayer's. He nuzzled her forehead again. 'Do you want to stop?', he asked in thought.
Before she formulated an answer, or thought to pretend she hadn't heard it, the door to the bathroom opened.
"Oops," Spike said, quickly laying back, so that it just looked like they'd been laying side by side the whole time. Except for the fact that Buffy's lips were slightly swollen, and Spike had some of her lipgloss on his mouth. He quickly licked it off.
Buffy smiled at her sister as she pranced in, made up, hair shining- as usual. "Geez. Took long enough. Get lost?"
Dawn rolled her eyes at her sister, then said pointedly to Spike, "You missed some, top lip, left corner." She arched a brow at her sister. "Putting gloss on Spike now?"
Spike tried to look innocent. "Well, you painted my nails, what else was left for her to do?"
Dawn shrugged. "I suppose when I put gloss on Andrew, I'll do it the same way. Ya know, ramming my mouth to his in hopes he gets the full effect of the flavor."
Buffy's chin dropped.
Spike snarled loudly and sat up, then laid back down at a pain in his ribs. "Ooh. Ouch. Ok, not done healing yet."
Buffy's mouth moved. Apparently, someone had hit her mute button. "Mmm.. Dawn!!" There it was. Volume.
Spike, meanwhile, was rubbing his side through the bandage. "Bloody stupid bones. Heal already!", he muttered, along with a few choice words in a language that neither Summers knew.
Buffy spared him a glance, put a hand gently to her side. "I think, that it's time to go."
Spike looked up from his rib rubbing. 'You feel that?', he thought at her. 'Nod or shake your head.'
She pretended not to hear, but it made her speaking to Dawn difficult. "Say g.. bye to Spike." She was feeling frosty.
Dawn grinned, and chirped, "Bye, Spike. See you tonight? Oh. No. Mindy's. But.... Saturday, yeah?"
Spike grinned at the younger Summers. "Yeah, Saturday. And no tickling me this time."
She nodded. "I promise."
Buffy planted a hand in her sister's back. "March."
"Goodbye, girls," Spike called after them. 'See you, luv,' he added mentally.
She gave a small jolt. 'Just... walk,' she told herself sternly. "Bye!" The Summer's echoed together.
'Don't you wish it was that easy?'
As soon as it hit the two cup mark, she jerked it out, and poured a cup in a mug she prayed Spike hadn't used for blood lately. Jammed it back it. "I hate you," she muttered. "I hate the world. I hate my back. I can't wait for the next apocalypse. I'll let you all fry."
The coffee maker stopped sputtering out it's live-giving sustenance. She knew there was something wrong with it. She shook her thumb at it. "See this?? I can kill you ten different ways with it. Give!" She hit the top petulantly. Hopefully, "Please?"
Spike heard her grumblings, and moreover sensed her absence from the floor near him. He sat up, blinked absently, yawned, and slowly stood up, stretching his injured side and hip slightly. He walked toward Buffy's voice. "Tap the on/off button a couple of times."
She jumped, sloshing the still hot coffee over her hand. "Oww." She glared at the coffee-maker, knowing somehow, it was this things fault. She smacked the on/off button. "I hate you."
Spike's eyes got wide and he rushed to her side, concern coming off him in waves. "Are you okay? Lemme see your hand."
She waved him off. "Fine."
He grabbed her hand anyway, looking at the minor burns. He turned on the cold water and held her hand beneath it. "I know you think you're invincible, but humor me."
She shivered at his touch, awareness running through her. She was awake now. "Ok." Meekly.
He smiled at her, and turned off the water. "The sun's not even up yet, and I'm already helping you. Here's another thing to add to the 'Weird Things About Spike' list." He looked at her hand again. "There. All better."
She smiled, and picked up her mug. Took a sip, even though it was black. "Perfect." She put a hand sleepily to the back of her head, forgetting she was tousled, and hair-sticky-uppy. No lip-glossy. Pajama-ee
He reached over and smoothed down a lock of hair that was standing at attention. Chuckled. "Want a brush, luv?"
Her eyes rounded. Closed in embarrassment. "Way with the morning ugly, I assume."
He smiled, kissed her forehead, and walked to the fridge. "I thought I told you that I think you're cute like that. Besides, I can't look much better."
Her eyes roamed over his turned back. The hell he couldn't. Bed-sexy was definitely applicable here. She gave a mental, 'Rowr.'
"Did you say somethin', luv?", Spike asked, keeping his back to her and rooting through the fridge.
She smirked at the thought and took a sip of her coffee, promptly choking. "No. What'd you hear?"
He turned around, holding an orange. "Dunno. Could've been Harm. Sounded like a cat."
She shrugged. "Maybe he's hungry."
Spike looked over to the cat's bowls that were on a mat in the shape of a giant Tweety Bird. "No. He's got plenty of dry food. And a little of the canned stuff left from last night." He glanced around, taking a small knife out of a drawer and proceeding to peel his orange. "Besides, I don't even see- Oh, there he is. On the couch with Dawn."
She nodded, then looked up shyly. "Um... brush?"
He looked at her for a moment. "You don't really need it now. I got rid of the one that was standing up. Now you're just cute. But if you want it, there's one on the nightstand. By my glasses case."
She nodded, walked to retrieve it. Running it through her hair, she looked at his glasses case. "It has a Tigger."
"I like Tigger," Spike replied, walking back into the 'bedroom' and offering her half the orange.
She took it, set it on the bedstand for when she was done brushing her hair. "And it's not nice to tell me I look cute in the morning."
He sat on the bed. "And why not?"
"One. Lying upsets your soul. And two, My hair is sticky uppy, I have no lipgloss, and when I TRY to look pretty, no one notices. I think from now on I'll just walk around in pajamas and bad hair. Oh, I'll have to beat men off with a stake." She pantomimed beating guys off by swinging the brush in front of her.
He chuckled and took a bite of orange. "One: I'm not lying. And Two: You're hair is cute, I don't care about the lip gloss, and I always notice that you're pretty. Because you always are."
She was tingling, because he was tingling. He wanted to touch her. But couldn't figure out why she was running scared. She grinned, and started to eat her half of the orange. "Thank you."
He grinned back and finished his half of the orange. "You're welcome."
She leaned forward, compelled to do something constructive, and picked up her sheet off the ground. Froze as her back pulled, and a sickening feeling rolled through her stomach at the sound. She tried to contain her wince and set the sheet on the bed.
Spike not only caught the wince, he felt her back catch. 'Damn, I thought the bond would be broken by now,' he thought. "Luv," he said aloud. "Do you.. Uh, is your back alright? Do you need me to rub it for you?" 'Absolutely no sexual undertone to THAT question,' he thought sarcastically.
She looked at him cautiously. "It'll be ok."
He ducked his head. "I won't hurt you, you know. I just want to help you feel better."
She sighed. She was never gonna beat the whole 'bond' thing if she didn't work at it. "Sorry... everyone who's ever rubbed my back was... um... sucky. Do you... really want to?"
"Yes. Besides, I owe you one, remember?", he said with a chuckle.
She smiled. "Yeah. So.. um... how....?"
He stood up. "Well, first you lay down. Do you want me to rub through your shirt, or roll it up?" He backpedaled. "Uh, that is, the pajama shirt, in back only..."
She laid down on his bed, trying to read what he wanted. If there were any undertones. "You can roll it up."
'Bloody idiot,' Spike thought, unaware that she could hear him. 'Way to make her nervous. She doesn't trust you yet.'
Buffy immediately relaxed her body into the sheets. "Well, Mr. Magic Hands?" She had to make him more comfortable. When he was cozy, so was she.
Spike gave an uncertain grin, and settled himself on the bed next to her, carefully rolling up the back of her pajama shirt, exposing the smooth skin of her back to him. "Ok. Now, where exactly does it hurt?"
She said pitifully, "Ya know.. the back area."
He grinned playfully, ran a finger up her spine. "There's a lot of back here, luv. I need directions."
A small "Oh" escaped her lips. "Um... my spine. And low, and by my ribs?"
He nodded. "Ok. Now tell me if anything is uncomfortable, luv." He started low on her back, alternately rubbing and gently using his knuckles to work out the first cramp that he found.
She smiled lazily and propped her head on her folded arms. "Mmm..."
He continued to work the muscle, gently, slowly, until the cramp was gone. Then he moved up to the other side. Repeated the motions with the cramp that he found there. And then for a moment just rubbed both sides at once, to relax the muscles completely and ensure that the cramps wouldn't come back. "How're we doin' so far, luv?"
She moaned low in her throat. "Mmm... as long as we're not stopping for a few months, we're good..."
He chuckled, then started on her spine. He ground his knuckles gently into the backbone, working out a cramp that seemed to stretch the entire length of the Slayer's back.
She let out a sigh, ending with a contented smile.
That cramp didn't want to go easily. It took a good fifteen minutes of rubbing and squeezing to remove it. Then, as he had done before, he continued his gently rubbing up and down her spine, making sure that it would be a long time before she got a cramp there again.
Buffy was absolutely unaware of any noises she made while he was rubbing her spine. It felt so good, and easy, and loose...
Spike chuckled. He thought that HE was the only one who could purr. "You hurting anywhere else, Slayer?"
She tilted her head into the bed, exposing her neck. Anything, just not stopping. "Neck?"
He grinned and obediently began rubbing her neck. There wasn't even a cramp there, but there was a minor amount of tension. He rubbed until even that was gone. "How's that?"
She made a totally non-sensical noise. "Mngt."
Spike held in a laugh, and kept rubbing, sliding his hands from her neck, down between her shoulder blades, all the way almost to her tail bone, then sliding back up, squeezing gently the whole way.
Bliss. Pure bliss was hers, and she reveled in it. She was trying to keep the 'rawr' feelings to a minimum, but they were creeping up on her, just as his hands were creeping up her back.
He slipped his hands around, rubbing between the ribs. If he had done it any lighter, it would have tickled. As it was, the feeling was total pleasure, and Spike knew it.
Heat. Everything in her contracted and released at the same time, and now her whole being was focused on the measuring of her heartrate. Flashing through her mind was every time those hands had been on her, squeezing her ribs, her hips. Letting her know, that he knew, that her body was his.
He continued with the ribs, alternating rubbing between them, and right on top of them. He could sense her feelings, and he knew that she was loving this. His hands went lower, rubbing the junction of ribs and hips, two fingers going under the elastic waist of her pajamas for a better grip. "Just tell me when you're ready to stop, luv."
She whimpered in her head. Deep sexy voice. She took a quiet gasp of breath. "Now is fine."
He obediently stopped, pulled her pajama shirt back down, and sat at the head of the bed.
She laid still a moment, composing, pulling herself together. She sat up slowly, stretched. "Thank you."
He smiled at her. "You're welcome. Feel better?"
'Just a jumble of mental tension...' "Loads."
He ignored the mental message, except to remind himself to do some research on the blood bond later. "So, I'm guessing that I'm not 'sucky', huh?"
She smiled. "Consider yourself kidnapped."
He cocked his head sideways. "Kidnapped?"
She nodded, and laid back down on the bed on her back. "Mmm-hmm. I'm keeping you for my very own masseuse."
He grinned. "Oh, that's not kidnapping. Especially if you agree to do the same for me from time to time." Chuckled. "Just go easy on the ribs. I don't want to kick my leg off."
She smiled lazily. "Yeah, that makes ya feel good."
He laughed. "You have no idea." He stretched out beside her on his side, looking at her. "I'm guessing you're relaxed, huh? Shot in the dark."
She smiled, feeling his own lack of tension. "Mmm... totally and completely."
He grinned, rolled onto his back and stretched, feeling his own back pop comfortably as he did.
She tsk-ed him. "Gettin' old. You're starting to creak like our stairs."
He chuckled. "You haven't heard my knees when I've been sitting a long time. Sounds like the cannons in the 1812 overture."
She crinkled her nose. "Ew."
"I'm kidding, luv. More like a champagne cork."
A shudder ran through her body. "Sick."
He grinned at her. "Come on, luv. Slayers don't get grossed out that easily. You can chop the head off a demon and watch the slime spray on a wall, but you can't take a few old bone sounds?"
"It's the... popping-ness. That's fluid being pushed from their normal place with pressure. It's gross."
"That's what happens when you open a coke."
She gave him a droll look. "Wow. It's a good think I don't drink my own body fluids. Or that'd really be gross."
Spike made a face. "I do not drink MY blood. So that doesn't even count."
"Mmm-hmm..."
He poked her hip just to make a playful point.
She squirmed. "Don't take away the relaxedness."
He chuckled. "Gotcha. No removing of relaxedness." Buffy sighed, looked at her sister snuggled on the couch. "How does she sleep like that?"
Spike glanced at Dawn. "Dunno. The sleep of the innocent. She doesn't have any reason not to sleep like that, so she does."
Buffy shrugged in agreement. "I can barely remember when I could sleep like that."
"I can't remember mine at all," Spike said quietly.
She glanced at him. "You can't remember your home?"
He gave a rueful chuckle. "If you're talking about when I was human, not really. I told you, I didn't have any friends, my parents were too busy for me, and didn't care to boot. All I had going for me was my little sister who died when I was ten. I guess that's when I stopped being able to sleep like that."
"How did she-"
"Pneumonia. Nearly got me too."
"Pneumonia? But that's-" She stopped. It wasn't fixable in the 1800's. "I'm sorry."
"It was a long time ago." A sigh. "Doesn't matter anymore."
She gave herself a second to prepare for the pain, then took his hand. "It always matters."
He smiled. "How come you care about me? And why does Dawn? And why did your mum? I don't deserve people like you."
Buffy rolled, still holding his hand, and kissed his cheek. "Everyone deserves people who care."
He blinked back a tear. "But why do you care?"
"I think we care because you have a big- if scheming- heart. And normal hearts just don't impress us."
He chuckled. "Well, you're right about one thing. No one in this group is normal."
"Yup. Normal is boring."
He laughed, and nuzzled her gently. "Thanks for making me feel better, luv. You're getting good at this."
Buffy could feel him mulling over something in the back of his mind. She needed to know what it was. She smiled at him. "Thanks. What are you worrying about?"
He looked at her. "I'm not worried about anything."
She shrugged, made something up quickly. "You had that line. Here." She poked a finger between his eyebrows.
He 'grr'ed playfully, and batted her hand away. "Are you saying that I have wrinkles?" 'Change the subject,' he thought. 'Don't worry her. Not important.'
She smiled, but heard his thoughts. "Lots when you get bumpy."
"That doesn't count."
She laid her head on his chest, relaxed. "Guess not." She laid in reflective silence, hoping he'd do the same.
He slipped an arm around her, immensely enjoying their closeness, but still thinking. 'It should have worn off by now. No blood bond, Slayer's blood or not, should last more than two days. And yet... what the bloody hell is going on? Her feelings, her thoughts, sometimes. Not normal. At least, I don't think so. Maybe it is. After all, I've never had a bond with a living person, let alone a Slayer. Who's to say what's normal, anyway? Look at yourself. Vampire, without soul, falls for Slayer, becomes obsessed with not hurting her, and it get's bad enough that he goes and does the one thing he swore to never do: Get a bleedin' soul. And what good did it do, anyway? I wonder if she's figured out that I never wanted the chip out. That I was after the soul all along. Maybe I'll tell her... someday.'
Buffy wiped her mind carefully clean. "Spike?"
"Yeah?"
She nuzzled him softly, and said, "I'm glad you're my friend."
He smiled. "I'm glad we can be friends, after all I've put you through." Gave her a sideways hug.
She shrugged. "And vice versa."
"Naw. I'm much worse than you. All you really did was drop a church on me." He grinned. "And annoyed the hell out of me, but that's beside the point."
She laughed. Distractions equals goodness. No more blood thinking. She put a hand softly on his chest, looked at his lips, then his eyes. "We're not always just going to be friends, though, right?"
He smiled again. "I'm hoping for more. But it's really up to you. Whatever we wind up as, though, I hope nothing changes this. Being together, laughing, having fun, helping eachother. I hope that doesn't change, cause I like it."
She smiled genuinely, touched her lips to his. A flood of emotions washed through both of their minds, some her's, and some his. Love, happiness, fear, pain, longing, and more love. Spike deepened the kiss, allowing his tongue to duel playfully with hers before pulling back and alternately nuzzling and kissing a path down her neck. Buffy tilted her neck, allowing him easier access. He continued blazing a trail down her throat, nipping playfully with his blunt teeth part of the time. True, she had wanted to shift his mind gears, but always, when he touched her body, he touched something inside. She lay on her back, looked up at him.
Spike stopped, looked at the positions that they were in, and froze, a streak of fear racing through his mind. He wouldn't hurt her again. He couldn't move.
Her hand snaked up to the back of his head, and she drew it back to her neck, head tilted up. Hoped he caught the significance. Trust.
Spike relaxed and went back to his playful nipping and licking, under an ear this time. Knowing from experience that it was one of Buffy's weak spots, like his earlobe was one of his.
A slow, female smile curved her lips, and under his, her body shook. In a rough whisper she said, "Cheater."
"Takes one to know one, Slayer," he whispered in her ear, then shifted to do the same thing to the other side. Didn't want that side to feel left out.
She ran her hands over his arms, her fingers playing with his own, then abandoning them to curl in his hair.
Remembering the 'above the waist' rule, he slipped a hand into her pajama shirt, sliding it around her ribs. He purred while he kissed her neck, loving the feeling of her fingers in his hair.
She arched her body into his touch, ducking her head to press her lips to his. Spike returned the kiss, purring into her mouth, his hands finding the spots on her sides that he knew so well. They rivaled the under her ears in sensitivity.
She gently bit his bottom lip playfully, nibbled at each corner of his mouth, ran her tongue along the seam in his lips, dragging in a deep breath before they kissed.
Spike moaned happily, and went back to her throat, going down over her chin and straight down her neck, stopping to nibble and lick just above her pajama neckline.
She sighed, her body moving restlessly, one leg wrapping around Spike's. Spike paused. Looked her in the eyes. "Do you want to stop?", he said, panting slightly.
She leaned her head back, pulling in deep breaths. "Dawn."
"Huh?"
She closed her eyes. "My sister is asleep on your couch... and I'm about to-"
Spike grinned, kissed under an ear again, rubbing her side at the same time. "About to what?"
She wrapped a leg around his, and hitched herself up for a bit more leverage, rubbed against him, sucking on his neck. "Something like that."
Spike's eyes crossed momentarily, and he also forgot how to speak. "Uhgni.."
She felt his pain. But still bit at his neck gently. "Mmm-hmm.."
Spike moaned, and nearly lost his marginal control right there. "B-Buffy... stop.." But he was thinking just the opposite.
Buffy pulled back, the arousal in voice and thoughts slightly throwing her. She scrambled off the bed. "I'm sorry."
He sat up. "Wait... What? No. Don't be sorry, luv. I started it. It's my fault."
Her own desire still rocking her system, she shook her head in disgust. How horrible could she be?? Her baby sister was sleeping on the couch, less then fifteen feet away, and here she was, jumping some guy. An incredibly hot guy, but never the less..
"Luv, come back. Sit down. I'll be good. I promise."
She glanced worriedly at the couch, his words not really registering. Still asleep.
Unfortunately, it was then that he picked up a stray emotion. Disgust. He misinterpreted. "I.. uh.. have to go to the bathroom!", he said quickly. Hoping that the fact that vampires didn't pee wouldn't hit her until after he got away. 'Stupid, bloody vampire. You felt that emotion. She thinks you're disgusting. How could you ever think that she could love you?'
Buffy sat on the bed, her head in her hands. Shit. Just.... Shit... and 'How could you ever think that she could love you?' -what? Where had that- ? Oh, God. Spike. She ran barefoot to the tunnel, knocked on the door. "Can you talk while you're in there?"
The door was closed, but not locked. And she could hear the sounds of snuffling from inside. There was no answer. Not spoken, anyway. 'She'll go away. Just be quiet. Doesn't care.. Can't breathe.'
She sat down outside the door. "Well, I can talk while you're in there. We can't- Spike... I like... I like... being with you... like that. But it was selfish of me to... to want to... be with you while my sister was here..."
'Trying to make you feel better. Doesn't really mean it.' This thought was followed by a now audible sobbing. Then the sink turned on. 'Drown the sound out. Don't let her see.'
"If she had woken up... I can't... She doesn't... understand that kind of want... that need. I care Spike. I care what she thinks of me. And... and you. And of us, being together. I want her to... respect it. And how can she when I can be so reckless?"
'Maybe she does care? No.. Maybe? Don't know. Can't breathe.'
She laid a hand on the knob, turned it. She walked in, closed the door, and sat on the floor. "Hey."
Spike was curled up in the corner next to the toilet, also on the floor. He glanced up. His eyes were reddened by the tears, and they were still falling. "Why'd you come in?", he asked quietly.
She shrugged. "Why'd you run away?"
He sniffed. "Felt like it." 'Don't like you seeing me cry. Weak. Pitiful, William.'
She sighed. "We weren't gonna walk away anymore. Crying doesn't make you... pitiful."
'Pathetic.' "I didn't walk. I trotted."
She gave him a half smile. "Har har." She glanced down. Her toes were cold. "I wish I could cry."
He looked at her. "Why can't you?" 'If you're out of tears, I've got some to spare,' he thought sarcastically.
Shrugged. "I dunno. I can cry for other people. People I care about... But I'm kinda all cried out over me."
He "pfft"ed. "Apparently, I'm not. Hundred and thirty years old, and I'm still just a wimpy, bad poetry writing, poofter."
She looked at him. "I really really like you. I could even fall in love with you. I like your poetry. I love that you can cry, and you were strong enough to carry a fifteen year old emotionally after her mom and sister died." She raised a hand for his silence. "I'm not done."
He had opened his mouth, but quickly closed it.
"You've gained the respect and friendship of people who have done nothing for the past seven years but think of creative ways to dust you. You've averted apocalypses, and have a soul. And you happen to be pretty damn hot." She could have sworn that the vampire blushed. "So what, exactly, is the sad, pitiful, pathetic weak part of that? Because I fail to see it."
He looked at her, his thoughts jumbled. 'Is she right? But what about... Doesn't matter? Could fall in love with me? She likes me?' He made an amused noise. "Define 'respect and friendship', because I don't really see it in anyone but you, the Bit, Red, and sometimes Rupert. Anya is confusing, and I know Harris really doesn't like me, if not downright hates me."
She frowned. "Well, Spike, usually, after a one night stand? You don't see the person anymore. If you have any questions about Standard Operating Procedure there, ask Parker. He's great at it. She kinda sees you all the time. And so does the ex that caused the fling." She smiled. "To my saintly credit, I never hit Anya."
Spike growled. "Don't mention Parker, the asshole." He looked at her. "Did you want to? Hit Anya, I mean."
She considered. "I used to. I had to not see her for a couple days. But no. I understand."
He looked at her hopefully. "You do? What do you understand about it? Cause I'm still unclear." He thought. "Could have been the whiskey."
She said softly, "Tequila, Jack Daniel's, and brandy."
He chuckled. "Yeah. I'm this close to quitting drinking entirely after that. Now, what do you understand?"
Her eyes focused hazily on the floor. "If it's not about emotion, then it's about feeling. Wanting to feel something."
He nodded. "That's how some relationships start, isn't it. When you want someone to take the hurt away?"
She looked him in the eye. "You wanted caring. So did she."
"I meant with you and I."
Panic. Pure unadulterated panic swept her system clear of anything she could say to help herself out. Yes. Panic, and desperation. "What do you mean?"
Spike looked at her, feeling the panic that was coursing through her. He forced himself to ignore it. "When you started with me, it was just so that you could feel something. Is it still like that?"
"D-Do I feel something? Of course I feel something. It's not... not just about feeling something now. I... It's..."
"Yes?"
"It's caring. I care about you. I care for you."
He felt tears threatening again, but held back. 'Enough of being a poofter for one night,' he thought with a mental growl. "You care... About me? But you don't love me." That was not a question. He honestly believed it.
She felt her shoulders hunching up, protecting from the emotional blows she was feeling. "Why are you pushing me?" she cried.
He slowly stood up. Walked two steps closer, and sat down again, within arms reach this time. "I'm sorry, luv. I know that it's hard for you. I just wish I knew why. It's so easy for me to tell you how I feel. I don't understand why it's so hard for you. Please forgive me. I didn't mean to push you." He considered offering a hug, but decided against it. No need to tempt fate.
She ran a hand over her face. Said tiredly, "We said... we promised. Slow. You haven't even been back for two months, and we almost... with Dawn in the room."
"I'm sorry."
"And... I know... I know you want a big emotional... thing, scene, and I can't... I'm not good at them, Spike. And, ya know what? Sure. I'm scared. Too much, too fast." She gave him a gentle look. "But.. good at the same time."
He nodded. "I know. I'm scared too. I've never felt anything like this, and the... intensity.. It frightens me." He wiped away a stray tear on her face. "And you're right. This is good. Good that we can talk, can connect, can understand what the other one thinks and feels. But you know what?"
A quiet, slightly fearful, "What?"
He gave a small chuckle. "There's such a thing as TOO much understanding. I don't know what you're getting, but I'm ready for this blood bond to break." He looked at her. "Unless it's just me who's still getting thoughts and emotions."
She shrugged. ""Lightly, once in a while. But not... uber-heavy emotion stuff."
He looked at her. "Yeah? What're you getting?"
She shrugged again. "I got sad at work, but it wasn't... 'I work at the Double Meat' sad. It wasn't my grief."
He took a quick breath. "The tower dream? You felt that?"
"I didn't.... see your dream, if that's what you mean. I just felt, sad, kinda hysterical for a couple seconds. What- what do you get?"
He cocked his head. "I'm not sure. Earlier today, I thought I was getting actual words. A word here, a sentence there. But when we were... almost.. you know... I felt almost as if I was in two bodies at once. Strange. Did you get that?"
She cocked her head to the side, pretended to consider. "A little..." 'like four times that...'..."Yeah."
He grinned. "And there's a sentence. And I quote: "like four times that.." ."
She gave him a quick grin. "I was testing."
"Oh, were you, now?"
Gave a shaky sigh. "Go you with the mind reading!" Bright cheery smile.
He ducked his head. "I hope... I hope that not everything you've gotten from me was all... painful stuff."
She shook her head. "No.. sometimes, I feel really... easy, content, and I know that's not mine either. But no scenes... no words."
"Oh. I guess it's stronger on my end."
Buffy shrugged helplessly. "Sorry."
"Come on, luv," Spike said, standing up and offering her a hand. "Let's go wake your sis. It's time for the two of you to head home."
She nodded. "Yeah... We've got groceries to get..." She took his hand, stood.
Spike, in true chivalrous fashion, held the door for her. "After you."
She gave him a weird look then trooped into the crypt. And found Dawn sitting on the couch, curled into a ball, knees tight to her chest, arms crossed, looking suspiciously like she had been crying, her face infinitely unsure and scared.
Spike immediately sat down next to her. "What's wrong, Lil' Bit? You have a nightmare?" He gently rubbed small circles on her back.
Dawn swallowed, looked like she finally got her bearings and said softly. "Yeah. Real nightmare."
He hugged her softly. "What happened, Niblet?"
Buffy crossed more slowly, grabbing a glass of water on her way. Knelt in front of her. "Dawnie... What happened?" Looked at Spike's gullible face and said, "Really."
Dawn grabbed the water and drank defensively. "I told you. Nightmare."
Spike snorted at the Slayer, then turned his attention back to Dawn, not completely letting go of her.
Buffy swept a hand across Dawn's face, moving stray pieces of her hair out of her watery eyes. "You wake up screaming from nightmares, Dawnie. Who's bed did you used to sneak into?"
At her sisters defiant eyeroll, she grabbed Dawn's chin gently. "Tell me."
"Come on, Bit," the vampire added. "Tell us. Maybe we can help."
Dawn receded more into the corner of the couch, slowly pulling from both their touches. "I heard you yelling."
Spike glanced at Buffy, a worried look on his face. "Yeah. We had a bit of a fight. But we worked it out. We're okay, now. Right, Slayer?"
Buffy nodded. Emphatically. "Way ok. See, Dawn? We're ok."
Dawn got stiff. "That's what mom and dad would say, Buffy, and you know it."
Her sister winced. She did, indeed. She took a deep breath.
Spike looked at Buffy, totally clueless about what to do. 'Teenagers are so confusing,' Spike thought, deliberately thinking loudly so that the Slayer would hear it.
"Dawn... sometimes, we- especially Spike and I- need to shout to get our point across." She shook her head at Spike. She knew exactly. Painfully exactly what her sister meant. She continued. "It doesn't mean we hate eachother, or... or that anyone is... is gonna get hit." She looked at Dawn meaningfully.
Dawn looked at her sister hopefully.
Spike tried to help. "We've spent nearly the entire time that we've known each other beating the crap out of each other. Old habits die hard. And all we did was yell. And we don't even usually do that."
Buffy said cautiously, "We could hurt eachother, Dawn. We might say things we don't mean." Her hand petted Dawn's knee through the blanket.
Spike grinned at Buffy. "Actually, we've been getting along quite well lately."
She gave him a look. 'A little more innuendo for my sister, please??' "But we'll work it out, too. And it will never, ever change how we are around you."
Dawn was visibly relaxing.
Buffy said, "If we do fight, Dawn, I'll never forbid you to go see him, I promise. And if he's mad at me, he'll never -ever- get mad at you, too." She looked at Spike for confirmation. "Right, Spike?"
Spike chuckled. "What matters is that we're trying, Bit. We can't ask too much of each other right now, because neither of us is ready. And, when one of us pushes the wrong button, the other one yells. It's what we do." He gave Dawn a gentle hug. "She's right. I'll never be mad at you."
Dawn tucked her hair behind her ears. "So... you're like... not mad? Or anything?"
Spike grinned. "Nope. I'm feeling pretty good. How're you, Slayer?"
She smiled. "Better. Because we talked it out, Dawnie. A little loudly, but... we're fine now. How are you?"
Dawn shrugged. "Better."
Spike smiled at the teenager. "Good. Now, you two had better run along home, before it's too late and Rupert comes back and beats me up again for keeping you so long."
Dawn gaped. "Giles did WHAT?"
Buffy covered quickly. "He's kidding, Dawn."
'Oops', Spike thought. 'Sorry. Thought she knew.' "Yeah, Bit. Kidding."
"Giles came looking for me, and he and Spike had words. That's all. He's scared of Giles being all grrr-British-on-his-butt."
Dawn giggled.
"HEY! I'm not scared of Rupert," Spike snorted, then moved to the other end of the couch, away from the sisters. "Me? Scared of a Watcher? What's next? Running from Harris?"
Buffy rolled her eyes at Dawn, who looked decidedly better. "C'mon, Dawn. Grab a pair of my clothes and go change, brush your teeth, that stuff. Then we've gotta go shopping."
Dawn hopped up, revealing her jamma-wear. Old sweats, way too long, and a black tee-shirt. "Anything I want?"
Buffy rolled her eyes, gave a fake groan of pain. "You are SUCH an operator. Anything."
Spike stood up decidedly slower and walked to the bed, leaving the sisters to figure this out. He laid down, content to watch.
Dawn grabbed her cutest clothes and scampered off to the bathroom before her sister changed her mind.
"Hurt them and your *dead*!" Buffy called after her. Her only response was the bathroom door slamming.
Spike chuckled from his spot on the bed. "Sure you can handle her, luv? She's a handful."
Buffy flopped on her back, on the bed beside Spike. "No... Ugh... I'll never see those pants again." She smiled at him. "How do you think I did?"
He pretended to think. "Hmm. I give it a 5.8 for presentation, and a 6.0 for technical merit."
She flopped a hand out to smack him half-heartedly. "No way. I give it a 10."
He chuckled and rolled out of the way of her hand, causing her to hit the pillow instead. "I was doing figure skating scores, luv. 6.0 is the highest."
"Oh." She gave a smug grin. "Yeah. Definitely a six."
"I thought you'd know that. You used to skate, didn't you? You've got that little picture of you on your desk."
She shook her head. "Only for fun."
"Ah. Now me, I've never done anything like that. Don't have the natural grace for it. I'd look like a penguin, while you're a swan."
She rolled her eyes. "Yeah... and I hear blah-blah-blah-blah- I'm full of crap-blah-blah-blah..."
"Oh come on, luv. I mean it. I would like to ask you somethin', though. About something that I overheard you think a while ago."
Her eyes grew round, and she trailed off on her 'blah''s that she had kept up through his speech. "Huh?"
"When we were.. kissing, earlier. After we pulled back. I very clearly heard the word 'disgust'. I just wanted to know..." He looked away, then back again, determined to face her answer. "Do you... Was it me that disgusted you?"
She pursed her lips. "No." In her mind, unnoticed by her, it echoed firmly. "I was just... It was directed to me."
He looked at her. "You were disgusted with yourself? For kissing me? Or for almost.. when Dawn was in the room?" He looked at her, his blue eyes half closed. "Because I'd hate to think that the soul has made me a bad kisser."
She blushed, very, very lightly. "She could have woken up at anytime... She can't- I don't even want her to understand how much I want you."
He gave a wolfish grin. "Want me? Well, I'm free now..." He leaned toward her, his body language and mind telling her that, no matter what he'd just said, he wasn't going any further than she would let him.
She smiled back, reached forward, ran a hand down his chest. A welcome if she had ever given one. He purred at her touch, and pulled her into a kiss. Lovingly touching his cold lips to her warm ones. She drew in his bottom lip, nibbled it softly. Spike nuzzled her, resting their foreheads together as he mimicked her actions with her lip and his teeth. Her body responded to the touch, moving closer.
Spike slid a hand around her, rubbing her back in a gentle, calming motion. It served not to get either of them too worked up, while allowing some of the touch that the vampire craved. He pulled from her mouth for a moment, and playfully kissed the tip of her nose. She scrunched her nose playfully, enjoying his touch, adding her own to the front of his chest, above the bandages for his ribs. Spike grinned for a moment, before returning to her mouth, allowing his tongue to play across her lips. At the same time, he pushed into her hands, loving the contact. Like an overgrown cat. Her mouth opened under his, her hands kneading at his chest gently.
Spike purred as his tongue dueled playfully with the Slayer's. He nuzzled her forehead again. 'Do you want to stop?', he asked in thought.
Before she formulated an answer, or thought to pretend she hadn't heard it, the door to the bathroom opened.
"Oops," Spike said, quickly laying back, so that it just looked like they'd been laying side by side the whole time. Except for the fact that Buffy's lips were slightly swollen, and Spike had some of her lipgloss on his mouth. He quickly licked it off.
Buffy smiled at her sister as she pranced in, made up, hair shining- as usual. "Geez. Took long enough. Get lost?"
Dawn rolled her eyes at her sister, then said pointedly to Spike, "You missed some, top lip, left corner." She arched a brow at her sister. "Putting gloss on Spike now?"
Spike tried to look innocent. "Well, you painted my nails, what else was left for her to do?"
Dawn shrugged. "I suppose when I put gloss on Andrew, I'll do it the same way. Ya know, ramming my mouth to his in hopes he gets the full effect of the flavor."
Buffy's chin dropped.
Spike snarled loudly and sat up, then laid back down at a pain in his ribs. "Ooh. Ouch. Ok, not done healing yet."
Buffy's mouth moved. Apparently, someone had hit her mute button. "Mmm.. Dawn!!" There it was. Volume.
Spike, meanwhile, was rubbing his side through the bandage. "Bloody stupid bones. Heal already!", he muttered, along with a few choice words in a language that neither Summers knew.
Buffy spared him a glance, put a hand gently to her side. "I think, that it's time to go."
Spike looked up from his rib rubbing. 'You feel that?', he thought at her. 'Nod or shake your head.'
She pretended not to hear, but it made her speaking to Dawn difficult. "Say g.. bye to Spike." She was feeling frosty.
Dawn grinned, and chirped, "Bye, Spike. See you tonight? Oh. No. Mindy's. But.... Saturday, yeah?"
Spike grinned at the younger Summers. "Yeah, Saturday. And no tickling me this time."
She nodded. "I promise."
Buffy planted a hand in her sister's back. "March."
"Goodbye, girls," Spike called after them. 'See you, luv,' he added mentally.
She gave a small jolt. 'Just... walk,' she told herself sternly. "Bye!" The Summer's echoed together.
'Don't you wish it was that easy?'