Uhhhhh . . . Was That Meant To Happen?
Summery: Elrond accidentally mixes up the wrong concoction for the wrong species. . . the result? Fido. . . uh . . . I mean Frodo turns into a dog, a golden retriever PUPPY to be exact but worse is yet to come. . . there's still the ring to destroy and no-ones willing to take it. A/N: Do NOT ask where I got this idea from . . . cause I can't remember!!! Hope you like it! Disclaimer for all chapters: I own Nuttin. Setting: This is meant to take place in Rivendell just before Frodo wakes up and finds out he's the groom-to-be of the lovely ring.
Chapter One: Puppy Troubles
Elrond the so-called Mighty was busy mixing up a potion for his beloved daughter, Arwen's, sick dog. It was, by the way, laying at his feet wheezing like there was no hope for it, basically there wasn't. But Elrond, being the good DADDY that he was decided that he could make the dog a PUPPY again.
Now Elrond, being the great half-elvan show-off that he was, decided to ALSO mix another potion at the same time for the injured Frodo and ALSO decided to keep it right next to the Puppy Potion.
Why, is anyone's, including the author's, guess.
Unfortunately he was called away because one of the really cute elf children had broken a very old (300,000 years to exact) statue of the darling elf, Galadriel. (No the writer does NOT care how old Galadriel really is.)
The aged dog lifted itself upon it rickety legs and investigated the contents on the table. He was just pondering what Elrond had mixed for him when he accidentally nocked the Puppy Potion into the Healing Potion. The dog, seeing nothing of interest, like pal dog food, layed back down.
It was at that moment that Elrond came back in muttering words that would burn the innocent ears of any species of human or animal (the dog was deaf so it wasn't harmed).
Elrond was so mixed up in anger that he didn't noticed the Healing Potion wasn't a lovely blue but had sugar, spice and everything nice . . . sorry wrong story.
He grabbed the Puppy Potion (no he didn't notice that it had been nocked over) and placed it in the dogs mouth.
It gave a cough and within seconds began to shrink to the size of a three month old Golden Retriever pup, the fur turned a pale yellow, short and very fine and soft.
Four minutes later a puppy stood where an old and near-death dog had layed.
"Now for Frodo's turn." He said, and picked the puppy up along with the potion.
He walked down the hall which led to the room where his patient lay in a deep coma (mmm . . . Elijah Wood . . . unconscious . . . in bed and . . . ::drools::).
Gandalf looked up and gave an exclamation. "Well, is everything ready?"
"Yep." Elrond replied putting the puppy on the bed where it started to lick Frodo's toes. (A/N: wish that were me.)
Gandalf muttered something and picked the dog up and placed it on the floor where it scampered off to do whatever three month old puppies do: Seek and destroy expensive and irreplaceable things . . . like Gandalf's staff for starters!!!
The wizard looked at the contents of the vile and noticed that the potion was a soft pink (told ya it was made of sugar, spice and everything nice!)
"Hay Elrond? Wasn't the potion meant to be, I don't know, BLUE?!"
Elrond looked at the vile stupidly. "And?"
Gandalf rolled his eyes, for a three thousand year old guy Elrond was just another stupid blond elf (but not my LEGGY!!!). "So you wanna risk killing the kid?"
The elf shrugged, "Couldn't hurt."
The two went up beside the bed and while Gandalf held Frodo's mouth open by holding his nose (Hay, he's a wizard, not a doctor, deal with it) Elrond poured the contents down the unconscious hobbits throat.
He gave a cough and opened his bright blue eyes.
Gandalf and Elrond whooped and high-fived each other.
But Frodo gave another cough and turned into the exact replica of the Golden Retriever puppy that was currently chewing up Gandalf staff with it's sharp little teeth.
"What the . . ." Gandalf trailed off.
"Uhhhhh. . . Was that meant to happen?" Elrond asked still holding the vile in shock.
"I don't think so," Gandalf muttered.
"What do we do?" the elf lord asked.
"I think running away is not and option, and we have no antidote and THANKS to your daughters DOG my STAFF is completely RUINED so our only choice is for it to wear off." Gandalf thundered pointing to the dog.
"Bilbo's gonna kill me," Elrond muttered sitting down.
"Oh shit," Gandalf swore. "I completely forgot about him!"
Meanwhile, Frodo the Puppy was sitting in the sheets wondering what Gandalf and Elrond were peeing themselves about.
He wasn't going to die was he? He started to breath in deeply and was bombarded with smells that he had never realised existed.
Was it always like this in Rivendell? To have a greater sense of ones surroundings?
Frodo would have been very calm . . . If he hadn't tried to talk that is.
'Hay Gandalf. What's wrong? You lose a contact or something'?' he said. Instead what came out was: "Whine woof. Rrrawf? Rrawfrrawfrr woof?" he stopped dead.
Panic took over. Why could he talk in Common Speech? Was something more dire happening?
Frodo looked at himself and nearly fainted. He quickly closed his eyes for a few seconds then he slowly opened them and looked and nearly fainted again.
While Frodo was discovering first hand what it was like to be a dog Gandalf and Elrond (the Stupid) were still peeing themselves.
Then finally Elrond came up with great idea.
"How about we just tell Bilbo."
Gandalf hit him with the broken and saliva covered staff.
But He-Who's-Stupidity-Knows-No-Bounds (Elrond) kept at it. "What I mean is he may let us live if we tell him instead of him finding out."
Gandalf was just about to hit him again but began to think about what Elrond had said.
"You may have a point there." He said putting down his staff. So the wizard and the elf (along with two ADORABLE puppies) walked toward their doom . . . um . . . I mean Bilbo's room.
Good ol' Bilbo was writing a book (it was called: 1,2,3 Dwarfs and Me) when he noticed to dogs currently chewing his large toes.
"Mongrel dogs." He said and he KICKED one (no it wasn't Arwen's). It yelped and looked at him with it's baby BLUES!!
"Never seen you before," he muttered and picked up his nephew (NO he didn't know it was his nephew!!).
Frodo looked at his uncle and whined. 'Uncle it's me!! HELP!!'
"You look like Arwen's dog except . . . you have blue eyes . . . like my nephew." Realisation started to dawn on the aged guys face and he said. "I'm hungry and you, my little dog, must be too."
Frodo just rolled his eyes. God this guy was STUPID. Didn't he realise he WAS his nephew?!?!
At that moment He-Who's-Stupidity-Knows-No-Bounds and the wizard guy came rushing in and when they found Bilbsie and his nephew they realised that the aged geezer hadn't a clue of what was going on.
"Um . . . Bilbo?" Elrond started. "We need to talk to you about your nephew."
"Is he all right?" Bilbo asked alarmed.
"Um . . . that depends on your definition of 'Is he all right,' " Gandalf said nervously.
"I mean is he alive and well."
"He's alive and definitely licken,"
Short Stuff (Bilbo) didn't understand the last word so decided to dismiss it.
"Well, then what is wrong?"
"Let's just say he has four furry feet now."
"Four . . . ? Wh . . . what has happened to him?"
"You should know . . . he's on your lap."
"On my . . . lap?" he looked at the puppy. "OH MY GOD!!! WHAT HAVE YOU DONE TO HIM?!?!"
"It wasn't my fault it was his!" the wizard cried and pointed to He-Who's- Stupidity-Knows-No-Bounds. "Blame him!"
"I blame both of you!"
"Let's sort this out at the meeting."
"Damn straight and you can tell the people why a dog instead of my nephew is delivering the bloody ring!"
"Hay! I just thought of something." Stupid (who else?) said suddenly.
"What?" both Wizard and Short Stuff snapped.
"How are you going to give him the sword and coat thingy?"
"Well, we'll just have to cut them down to his size. Ain't we?"
"Who cares! We can sort this out at the council." Gandalf exploded and stormed out of the room.
And so it was a wise old wizard, a stupid blond elf, an old geezer that looked like he'd came from the set of 'The Land Before Time' series and two adorable puppies. They walked into the council (NO not the LAWFUL ONE) and sat down while all the dudes from far and near looked on amused at seeing that He-Who's- Stupidity-Knows-No-Bounds had a few animals trailing in his wake.
"Hay look," Merry said, pointing. "It's Snow White bringing in more diseased animals into the realm of Fantastica."
All sniggered in response to the joke except for poor Pippin, who, as we all know, was a blank as Picassio when he died.
"I don't get it." He said simply.
"Pippin?" Merry asked seriously. "Did you take your tablets this morning?"
Pippin smiled, like the vacant fool he was. "Yes. And they tasted like peppermint."
Merry exploded. "THOSE WERE MY TICK-TACKS!!"
"No wonder my mouth feels fresher." He smiled again at Merry.
Merry sighed and said. "Come on let's go and take you medies."
"Do I get ice-cream after?" Pippin asked hopefully.
"Only if I can find the rest of my weed, which has mysteriously disappeared."
"I though it was stuffing to go with the turkey last night." Pippin whined.
"So that's why everyone was so happy," Merry said as they disappeared.
Everyone watched as the two young hobbits left.
"Well, that was interesting, I must admit." Legolas muttered to the elf beside him, who nodded in agreement.
Half an hour later . . .
Nothin much had changed except for a huge freaking argument that made the author break out her powers and place the nine guys together.
Much like survivor really.
"Oooooooh, I like that show." Pippin commented as he and Merry walked in.
They stopped dead in their tracks.
There were two identical puppies playing (well, I had to make them do SOMETHING instead of looking cute. That gets tiring after a while)
"What's wrong with Frodo?" Merry asked as he, Pippin, Legolas, Aragorn, Borimor, Gimli, Gandalf, Sam and Bilbo watched as the two puppies continued to play and generally ignore the people around them. "He's either taken the wrong potion or he has a serious allergy to fleas."
The only way they could tell them apart was because Fido . . . uh . . . I mean Frodo still had the ring and it's chain around his now tiny, fluffy, yellow neck and he still had his BABY BLUES.
"He has turned into Arwen's puppy, Linker." Elrond said, straight faced.
"So now the ring-barer is now the FLEA-BEARER!" Merry said laughing.
Pippin started sniggering. "Well, this sure DOGed things up!"
With that, he and Merry fell about laughing until Bilbo whacked them with his walking stick.
"It's NOT funny!" Bilbo said sternly.
"Must come from the Brandybuck side!" Pippin continued.
"Yeah! It must!" Merry laughed. Then he stoped only realising Pippin had just insulted his whole family. "HAY!!"
"What?" Pippin said still sniggering.
"That was cruel."
"And? Your point being?" Pippin shrugged.
Merry jumped up and pushed Pippin. Pippin pushed Merry. Merry retaliated and punched Pippin in the stomach.
While Merry and Pippin were duking it out, Gandalf had a quiet word with the author.
"Well, will he become a hobbit again?" he question.
"Mmm not telling." I answered.
"Will the quest be completed successfully?"
"Mmm not telling." I answered.
"Okay, the number one question on my mind is . . . will I die?"
"Mmm not telling." I answered.
"You do realise I'm a very old, powerful AND respected wizard?" he challenged.
"You do realise I'm a fanfic writer with the power to either make you gay or severely attracted to Sam?"
"EAK!" he shrieked and sat back down.
The author allowed herself a small smirk.
"Well," Merry asked. "What do we do now?"
"We toilet train Fido." Was Borimor's reply as he watch a sheepish puppy accidentally relieve himself in the middle of the Council's Court.
Will this problem screw up the quest? Will Pippin and Merry continue telling their Flea-Bearer jokes? YES!!! But I need help with that! Will Bill make an appearance in the next chapter? Cause. He's my second fave LotR character! Will He-Who's-Stupidity-Knows-No-Bounds turn Fido back into a Hobbit? Does anyone REALLY know the Lyric's to "How much is that doggie in the window?" Will I stop asking these questions and write the next chapter? Only if I gets 10 reviews. Find out in the next chapter of Uhhhhh. . .Was That Meant To Happen?
Summery: Elrond accidentally mixes up the wrong concoction for the wrong species. . . the result? Fido. . . uh . . . I mean Frodo turns into a dog, a golden retriever PUPPY to be exact but worse is yet to come. . . there's still the ring to destroy and no-ones willing to take it. A/N: Do NOT ask where I got this idea from . . . cause I can't remember!!! Hope you like it! Disclaimer for all chapters: I own Nuttin. Setting: This is meant to take place in Rivendell just before Frodo wakes up and finds out he's the groom-to-be of the lovely ring.
Chapter One: Puppy Troubles
Elrond the so-called Mighty was busy mixing up a potion for his beloved daughter, Arwen's, sick dog. It was, by the way, laying at his feet wheezing like there was no hope for it, basically there wasn't. But Elrond, being the good DADDY that he was decided that he could make the dog a PUPPY again.
Now Elrond, being the great half-elvan show-off that he was, decided to ALSO mix another potion at the same time for the injured Frodo and ALSO decided to keep it right next to the Puppy Potion.
Why, is anyone's, including the author's, guess.
Unfortunately he was called away because one of the really cute elf children had broken a very old (300,000 years to exact) statue of the darling elf, Galadriel. (No the writer does NOT care how old Galadriel really is.)
The aged dog lifted itself upon it rickety legs and investigated the contents on the table. He was just pondering what Elrond had mixed for him when he accidentally nocked the Puppy Potion into the Healing Potion. The dog, seeing nothing of interest, like pal dog food, layed back down.
It was at that moment that Elrond came back in muttering words that would burn the innocent ears of any species of human or animal (the dog was deaf so it wasn't harmed).
Elrond was so mixed up in anger that he didn't noticed the Healing Potion wasn't a lovely blue but had sugar, spice and everything nice . . . sorry wrong story.
He grabbed the Puppy Potion (no he didn't notice that it had been nocked over) and placed it in the dogs mouth.
It gave a cough and within seconds began to shrink to the size of a three month old Golden Retriever pup, the fur turned a pale yellow, short and very fine and soft.
Four minutes later a puppy stood where an old and near-death dog had layed.
"Now for Frodo's turn." He said, and picked the puppy up along with the potion.
He walked down the hall which led to the room where his patient lay in a deep coma (mmm . . . Elijah Wood . . . unconscious . . . in bed and . . . ::drools::).
Gandalf looked up and gave an exclamation. "Well, is everything ready?"
"Yep." Elrond replied putting the puppy on the bed where it started to lick Frodo's toes. (A/N: wish that were me.)
Gandalf muttered something and picked the dog up and placed it on the floor where it scampered off to do whatever three month old puppies do: Seek and destroy expensive and irreplaceable things . . . like Gandalf's staff for starters!!!
The wizard looked at the contents of the vile and noticed that the potion was a soft pink (told ya it was made of sugar, spice and everything nice!)
"Hay Elrond? Wasn't the potion meant to be, I don't know, BLUE?!"
Elrond looked at the vile stupidly. "And?"
Gandalf rolled his eyes, for a three thousand year old guy Elrond was just another stupid blond elf (but not my LEGGY!!!). "So you wanna risk killing the kid?"
The elf shrugged, "Couldn't hurt."
The two went up beside the bed and while Gandalf held Frodo's mouth open by holding his nose (Hay, he's a wizard, not a doctor, deal with it) Elrond poured the contents down the unconscious hobbits throat.
He gave a cough and opened his bright blue eyes.
Gandalf and Elrond whooped and high-fived each other.
But Frodo gave another cough and turned into the exact replica of the Golden Retriever puppy that was currently chewing up Gandalf staff with it's sharp little teeth.
"What the . . ." Gandalf trailed off.
"Uhhhhh. . . Was that meant to happen?" Elrond asked still holding the vile in shock.
"I don't think so," Gandalf muttered.
"What do we do?" the elf lord asked.
"I think running away is not and option, and we have no antidote and THANKS to your daughters DOG my STAFF is completely RUINED so our only choice is for it to wear off." Gandalf thundered pointing to the dog.
"Bilbo's gonna kill me," Elrond muttered sitting down.
"Oh shit," Gandalf swore. "I completely forgot about him!"
Meanwhile, Frodo the Puppy was sitting in the sheets wondering what Gandalf and Elrond were peeing themselves about.
He wasn't going to die was he? He started to breath in deeply and was bombarded with smells that he had never realised existed.
Was it always like this in Rivendell? To have a greater sense of ones surroundings?
Frodo would have been very calm . . . If he hadn't tried to talk that is.
'Hay Gandalf. What's wrong? You lose a contact or something'?' he said. Instead what came out was: "Whine woof. Rrrawf? Rrawfrrawfrr woof?" he stopped dead.
Panic took over. Why could he talk in Common Speech? Was something more dire happening?
Frodo looked at himself and nearly fainted. He quickly closed his eyes for a few seconds then he slowly opened them and looked and nearly fainted again.
While Frodo was discovering first hand what it was like to be a dog Gandalf and Elrond (the Stupid) were still peeing themselves.
Then finally Elrond came up with great idea.
"How about we just tell Bilbo."
Gandalf hit him with the broken and saliva covered staff.
But He-Who's-Stupidity-Knows-No-Bounds (Elrond) kept at it. "What I mean is he may let us live if we tell him instead of him finding out."
Gandalf was just about to hit him again but began to think about what Elrond had said.
"You may have a point there." He said putting down his staff. So the wizard and the elf (along with two ADORABLE puppies) walked toward their doom . . . um . . . I mean Bilbo's room.
Good ol' Bilbo was writing a book (it was called: 1,2,3 Dwarfs and Me) when he noticed to dogs currently chewing his large toes.
"Mongrel dogs." He said and he KICKED one (no it wasn't Arwen's). It yelped and looked at him with it's baby BLUES!!
"Never seen you before," he muttered and picked up his nephew (NO he didn't know it was his nephew!!).
Frodo looked at his uncle and whined. 'Uncle it's me!! HELP!!'
"You look like Arwen's dog except . . . you have blue eyes . . . like my nephew." Realisation started to dawn on the aged guys face and he said. "I'm hungry and you, my little dog, must be too."
Frodo just rolled his eyes. God this guy was STUPID. Didn't he realise he WAS his nephew?!?!
At that moment He-Who's-Stupidity-Knows-No-Bounds and the wizard guy came rushing in and when they found Bilbsie and his nephew they realised that the aged geezer hadn't a clue of what was going on.
"Um . . . Bilbo?" Elrond started. "We need to talk to you about your nephew."
"Is he all right?" Bilbo asked alarmed.
"Um . . . that depends on your definition of 'Is he all right,' " Gandalf said nervously.
"I mean is he alive and well."
"He's alive and definitely licken,"
Short Stuff (Bilbo) didn't understand the last word so decided to dismiss it.
"Well, then what is wrong?"
"Let's just say he has four furry feet now."
"Four . . . ? Wh . . . what has happened to him?"
"You should know . . . he's on your lap."
"On my . . . lap?" he looked at the puppy. "OH MY GOD!!! WHAT HAVE YOU DONE TO HIM?!?!"
"It wasn't my fault it was his!" the wizard cried and pointed to He-Who's- Stupidity-Knows-No-Bounds. "Blame him!"
"I blame both of you!"
"Let's sort this out at the meeting."
"Damn straight and you can tell the people why a dog instead of my nephew is delivering the bloody ring!"
"Hay! I just thought of something." Stupid (who else?) said suddenly.
"What?" both Wizard and Short Stuff snapped.
"How are you going to give him the sword and coat thingy?"
"Well, we'll just have to cut them down to his size. Ain't we?"
"Who cares! We can sort this out at the council." Gandalf exploded and stormed out of the room.
And so it was a wise old wizard, a stupid blond elf, an old geezer that looked like he'd came from the set of 'The Land Before Time' series and two adorable puppies. They walked into the council (NO not the LAWFUL ONE) and sat down while all the dudes from far and near looked on amused at seeing that He-Who's- Stupidity-Knows-No-Bounds had a few animals trailing in his wake.
"Hay look," Merry said, pointing. "It's Snow White bringing in more diseased animals into the realm of Fantastica."
All sniggered in response to the joke except for poor Pippin, who, as we all know, was a blank as Picassio when he died.
"I don't get it." He said simply.
"Pippin?" Merry asked seriously. "Did you take your tablets this morning?"
Pippin smiled, like the vacant fool he was. "Yes. And they tasted like peppermint."
Merry exploded. "THOSE WERE MY TICK-TACKS!!"
"No wonder my mouth feels fresher." He smiled again at Merry.
Merry sighed and said. "Come on let's go and take you medies."
"Do I get ice-cream after?" Pippin asked hopefully.
"Only if I can find the rest of my weed, which has mysteriously disappeared."
"I though it was stuffing to go with the turkey last night." Pippin whined.
"So that's why everyone was so happy," Merry said as they disappeared.
Everyone watched as the two young hobbits left.
"Well, that was interesting, I must admit." Legolas muttered to the elf beside him, who nodded in agreement.
Half an hour later . . .
Nothin much had changed except for a huge freaking argument that made the author break out her powers and place the nine guys together.
Much like survivor really.
"Oooooooh, I like that show." Pippin commented as he and Merry walked in.
They stopped dead in their tracks.
There were two identical puppies playing (well, I had to make them do SOMETHING instead of looking cute. That gets tiring after a while)
"What's wrong with Frodo?" Merry asked as he, Pippin, Legolas, Aragorn, Borimor, Gimli, Gandalf, Sam and Bilbo watched as the two puppies continued to play and generally ignore the people around them. "He's either taken the wrong potion or he has a serious allergy to fleas."
The only way they could tell them apart was because Fido . . . uh . . . I mean Frodo still had the ring and it's chain around his now tiny, fluffy, yellow neck and he still had his BABY BLUES.
"He has turned into Arwen's puppy, Linker." Elrond said, straight faced.
"So now the ring-barer is now the FLEA-BEARER!" Merry said laughing.
Pippin started sniggering. "Well, this sure DOGed things up!"
With that, he and Merry fell about laughing until Bilbo whacked them with his walking stick.
"It's NOT funny!" Bilbo said sternly.
"Must come from the Brandybuck side!" Pippin continued.
"Yeah! It must!" Merry laughed. Then he stoped only realising Pippin had just insulted his whole family. "HAY!!"
"What?" Pippin said still sniggering.
"That was cruel."
"And? Your point being?" Pippin shrugged.
Merry jumped up and pushed Pippin. Pippin pushed Merry. Merry retaliated and punched Pippin in the stomach.
While Merry and Pippin were duking it out, Gandalf had a quiet word with the author.
"Well, will he become a hobbit again?" he question.
"Mmm not telling." I answered.
"Will the quest be completed successfully?"
"Mmm not telling." I answered.
"Okay, the number one question on my mind is . . . will I die?"
"Mmm not telling." I answered.
"You do realise I'm a very old, powerful AND respected wizard?" he challenged.
"You do realise I'm a fanfic writer with the power to either make you gay or severely attracted to Sam?"
"EAK!" he shrieked and sat back down.
The author allowed herself a small smirk.
"Well," Merry asked. "What do we do now?"
"We toilet train Fido." Was Borimor's reply as he watch a sheepish puppy accidentally relieve himself in the middle of the Council's Court.
Will this problem screw up the quest? Will Pippin and Merry continue telling their Flea-Bearer jokes? YES!!! But I need help with that! Will Bill make an appearance in the next chapter? Cause. He's my second fave LotR character! Will He-Who's-Stupidity-Knows-No-Bounds turn Fido back into a Hobbit? Does anyone REALLY know the Lyric's to "How much is that doggie in the window?" Will I stop asking these questions and write the next chapter? Only if I gets 10 reviews. Find out in the next chapter of Uhhhhh. . .Was That Meant To Happen?