A/N: I would just like to thank the four people who reviewed, thanks guys
it does help.
Chapter Two: How Much Is That Pony In The Window?
Have you ever heard a dog sing? Probably not but, Fido didn't let that get in his way of having a good time on the trail while he was carried by his master . . . I mean . . . servant Sam.
"How much it that puppy in the window?" Merry and Pippin sang with the barking done by Fido.
"Woof woof."
"The one with the waggly tail?"
"Woof woof."
"How much it that puppy in the window?"
"Woof woof."
"I hope that he is for sale."
And at this Fido howled a beautiful howl.
Everyone clapped furiously, even though they thought the singing was terrible, the barking on the other hand was something to really listen to.
"We will stop to camp here tonight." Aragorn decided. "For I am tired and want to mourn over leaving my dear Arwen behind." He plunked himself on a log and pulled out his wallet with a picture of his love in it. He continued to drool for the rest of the night.
Legolas and Gimli weren't getting along. It all started when Gimli claimed that the movie made him look like a retarded dwarf, then Legolas pointed out he couldn't see the difference.
They hadn't spoken to each other since.
Everything was normal except for the little fight that was going to be sorted out later.
"Hay." Sam said suddenly, noticing something was missing. "Where's Bill?"
"We haven't brought him yet." Aragorn answered dreamily.
"I thought we brought him when we were in Bree." Sam questioned.
"Well, the author forgot." Gimli grunted, then continued sharpening his axe.
"Who's writing this time?" he ventured.
"Iz." Everyone said.
"Oh god, we're so screwed." Sam broke down.
"Be strong, man, be strong." Legolas patted him on the back sympathetically.
"You don't understand." He wailed. "She has some sick pleasure making me suffer by being gay and them two," he pointed to Merry and Pippin, who looked up with expressionless faces. "Don't help at all, cause they continue to encourage her."
Legolas looked up to the heavens pleading the author to come down and help. It showed he hated playing psychiatrist.
I rolled my eyes and opened the door that was camouflaged into the forest.
"What's it this time butterballs?" I said, my hands on my hips.
"THAT!!" Sam wailed and sobbed harder.
I looked confused at Legolas. "Explain what he's blabbering about this time."
"He's blabbering about you making him sound like he's gay when he's not." He rolled his eyes.
"Hay, I didn't make him like that in Destiny's End."
"Well, no." Legolas stoped to think.
"That was Karina, who did." I explained. "And as for Merry and Pippin, well, that's not me, that's my muse."
"What MUSE??" Borimor laughed.
A thunderbolt struck him.
"I SO deserved that." He muttered.
"I'm glad you realise where the balance of power is." I nodded, I turned to Sam. "I promise not to make you gay for three chapters."
"Five."
"Four." He bargained.
"Done." We shook hands.
"Now can I get on with the story?"
"What about Bill?" Pippin questioned.
"What about Bill?" I asked.
"Are we going to get him?"
"Do you have any money?"
"No."
"Well, then do what I do when I want something."
"What?"
"Steal."
And with that, I left the nine to think.
Next Day . . . in Bree.
"How the hell did we get here that quick?" Gimli asked.
Now, boys and girls, I hope you won't ask as many questions as Gimli does, will you? Because that'd make
Aunt Iz very sad. You're not worried about how they got there that fast, are you? No, I didn't think you
were.
"Where the hell's that voice coming from?" he asked. He'd forgotten about the author altogether and she also made sure he had a short memory span.
"CAN'T YOU HEAR THE VOICE?!" he yelled and clamped his hands to his ears.
Everyone ignored him and continued trudging through the mud.
"I hate this place." Legolas muttered as he stepped in a particular sloshy part of mud covering his whole shoes in the gunk.
"You've never been here before." Sam pointed out while shifting a sleeping puppy in his arms.
"True, but I still hate it."
Borimor turned around. "Um where are Merry and Pippin? I haven't seen them since we left The Prancing Pony."
Everyone looked at each other. "Uh oh."
Merry and Pippin, meanwhile were hiding under a table and chair.
"So tell me again why we are hiding dear Merry?" Pippin question.
"Because . . ." he trailed off as a plate crashed. "We forgot to pay for the beers."
"Why?"
"The money we're using for Bill." Merry explained and shot out to hide near a darkened wall. "I kinda used it for food and a few drinks."
"But we had no money to start off with." Pippin said confused.
"I know but Iz made a deal with Harry Potter and he turned some paper into money. Problem is she didn't tell us we didn't have enough to pay for food and a PONY!"
"Oh," was all Pippin could say. "So we used the money to buy food and beer, but that wasn't enough, so now we have to steal the pony and run form an enraged bartender?"
"Your stupidity amazes me." Merry said as he flattened himself against the wall.
"Thannnnnnnnnnk you." Pippin replied.
With that they bolted out of the door and ran straight into the group, tripping Legolas over and causing him to fall into mud.
He gave a strangled cry.
"I CAN'T TAKE IT ANYMORE!!!!!" he screamed and ran into a alleyway where he continued to sob for over an hour.
"Talk about a hissy fit." Gandalf muttered and was promptly struck by lighting.
"I deserved that." He muttered and replaced his scorched robes with clean ones with a wave of his magic staff.
"Let's get Bill!" Sam said and pointed in the direction of Ferny's Stables. Everyone brushed past him.
"Hay, I try."
Fido yawned in response.
"At least you appreciate me, don't you Mr Frodo?"
Fido gave the author a very scared look.
"What do you mean you won't sell him?" Aragorn raged. "Your gonna screw up the whole story by not selling him to us!"
"Hay, mister just because your the long lost king of Gondor doesn't mean you can stride in here and buy any pony." Ferny said folding his arms.
"You do realise I'm a very old, powerful AND respected wizard?" Gandalf challenged.
"And do you realise that I have connections with Iz?" Ferny asked his eyebrow raised.
"And you do realise she loves horse's and ponies?" Sam questioned.
"Umm . . . alright you can have a look but I'm not promising anything." And he led the way to Bill's stall.
When he left them they looked at the pony and all including Fido went. Ready? 1. . . 2 . . . 3:
"Awww poor old Bill."
He looked depressed and didn't even look up when Fido walked between his legs.
"He needs a song." Sam said and walked up to the pony.
There he started to sing. "The sun will come out tomorrow.
Bet your bottom dollar that tomorrow.
There'll be sun.
Tomorrow, tomorrow, I love ya, tomorrow. . ."
"Why are you bothering?" came Ferny's voice breaking Sam in his rendition of Annie.
"What do you mean?" asked Aragorn.
"He's no use. So were gonna put him down."
Sam was shocked. "When?"
"Tomorrow."
And with that, he left the shocked eight. Fido sat on his little hunches and turned his head looking extremely cute and stuff, he pondered how they were going to get poor old Bill out of this one.
"Someone say something." Sam pleaded, breaking the uncomfortable silence.
So Merry and Pippin did.
"Your only a day away." They sung together.
Will they be able to rescue the poor pony from the evil clutches of the knackery?
How much is Bill really worth?
Will Legolas ever get over being dirty or will he need counselling?
Will the two trouble makers help the others worm their way out for paying for the pony?
And will they EVER get their destination?
Well, keep reading and find out in Chapter 3: A Horse Is A Horse Of Course Of Course . . . And This is a Pony, Dudes
Chapter Two: How Much Is That Pony In The Window?
Have you ever heard a dog sing? Probably not but, Fido didn't let that get in his way of having a good time on the trail while he was carried by his master . . . I mean . . . servant Sam.
"How much it that puppy in the window?" Merry and Pippin sang with the barking done by Fido.
"Woof woof."
"The one with the waggly tail?"
"Woof woof."
"How much it that puppy in the window?"
"Woof woof."
"I hope that he is for sale."
And at this Fido howled a beautiful howl.
Everyone clapped furiously, even though they thought the singing was terrible, the barking on the other hand was something to really listen to.
"We will stop to camp here tonight." Aragorn decided. "For I am tired and want to mourn over leaving my dear Arwen behind." He plunked himself on a log and pulled out his wallet with a picture of his love in it. He continued to drool for the rest of the night.
Legolas and Gimli weren't getting along. It all started when Gimli claimed that the movie made him look like a retarded dwarf, then Legolas pointed out he couldn't see the difference.
They hadn't spoken to each other since.
Everything was normal except for the little fight that was going to be sorted out later.
"Hay." Sam said suddenly, noticing something was missing. "Where's Bill?"
"We haven't brought him yet." Aragorn answered dreamily.
"I thought we brought him when we were in Bree." Sam questioned.
"Well, the author forgot." Gimli grunted, then continued sharpening his axe.
"Who's writing this time?" he ventured.
"Iz." Everyone said.
"Oh god, we're so screwed." Sam broke down.
"Be strong, man, be strong." Legolas patted him on the back sympathetically.
"You don't understand." He wailed. "She has some sick pleasure making me suffer by being gay and them two," he pointed to Merry and Pippin, who looked up with expressionless faces. "Don't help at all, cause they continue to encourage her."
Legolas looked up to the heavens pleading the author to come down and help. It showed he hated playing psychiatrist.
I rolled my eyes and opened the door that was camouflaged into the forest.
"What's it this time butterballs?" I said, my hands on my hips.
"THAT!!" Sam wailed and sobbed harder.
I looked confused at Legolas. "Explain what he's blabbering about this time."
"He's blabbering about you making him sound like he's gay when he's not." He rolled his eyes.
"Hay, I didn't make him like that in Destiny's End."
"Well, no." Legolas stoped to think.
"That was Karina, who did." I explained. "And as for Merry and Pippin, well, that's not me, that's my muse."
"What MUSE??" Borimor laughed.
A thunderbolt struck him.
"I SO deserved that." He muttered.
"I'm glad you realise where the balance of power is." I nodded, I turned to Sam. "I promise not to make you gay for three chapters."
"Five."
"Four." He bargained.
"Done." We shook hands.
"Now can I get on with the story?"
"What about Bill?" Pippin questioned.
"What about Bill?" I asked.
"Are we going to get him?"
"Do you have any money?"
"No."
"Well, then do what I do when I want something."
"What?"
"Steal."
And with that, I left the nine to think.
Next Day . . . in Bree.
"How the hell did we get here that quick?" Gimli asked.
Now, boys and girls, I hope you won't ask as many questions as Gimli does, will you? Because that'd make
Aunt Iz very sad. You're not worried about how they got there that fast, are you? No, I didn't think you
were.
"Where the hell's that voice coming from?" he asked. He'd forgotten about the author altogether and she also made sure he had a short memory span.
"CAN'T YOU HEAR THE VOICE?!" he yelled and clamped his hands to his ears.
Everyone ignored him and continued trudging through the mud.
"I hate this place." Legolas muttered as he stepped in a particular sloshy part of mud covering his whole shoes in the gunk.
"You've never been here before." Sam pointed out while shifting a sleeping puppy in his arms.
"True, but I still hate it."
Borimor turned around. "Um where are Merry and Pippin? I haven't seen them since we left The Prancing Pony."
Everyone looked at each other. "Uh oh."
Merry and Pippin, meanwhile were hiding under a table and chair.
"So tell me again why we are hiding dear Merry?" Pippin question.
"Because . . ." he trailed off as a plate crashed. "We forgot to pay for the beers."
"Why?"
"The money we're using for Bill." Merry explained and shot out to hide near a darkened wall. "I kinda used it for food and a few drinks."
"But we had no money to start off with." Pippin said confused.
"I know but Iz made a deal with Harry Potter and he turned some paper into money. Problem is she didn't tell us we didn't have enough to pay for food and a PONY!"
"Oh," was all Pippin could say. "So we used the money to buy food and beer, but that wasn't enough, so now we have to steal the pony and run form an enraged bartender?"
"Your stupidity amazes me." Merry said as he flattened himself against the wall.
"Thannnnnnnnnnk you." Pippin replied.
With that they bolted out of the door and ran straight into the group, tripping Legolas over and causing him to fall into mud.
He gave a strangled cry.
"I CAN'T TAKE IT ANYMORE!!!!!" he screamed and ran into a alleyway where he continued to sob for over an hour.
"Talk about a hissy fit." Gandalf muttered and was promptly struck by lighting.
"I deserved that." He muttered and replaced his scorched robes with clean ones with a wave of his magic staff.
"Let's get Bill!" Sam said and pointed in the direction of Ferny's Stables. Everyone brushed past him.
"Hay, I try."
Fido yawned in response.
"At least you appreciate me, don't you Mr Frodo?"
Fido gave the author a very scared look.
"What do you mean you won't sell him?" Aragorn raged. "Your gonna screw up the whole story by not selling him to us!"
"Hay, mister just because your the long lost king of Gondor doesn't mean you can stride in here and buy any pony." Ferny said folding his arms.
"You do realise I'm a very old, powerful AND respected wizard?" Gandalf challenged.
"And do you realise that I have connections with Iz?" Ferny asked his eyebrow raised.
"And you do realise she loves horse's and ponies?" Sam questioned.
"Umm . . . alright you can have a look but I'm not promising anything." And he led the way to Bill's stall.
When he left them they looked at the pony and all including Fido went. Ready? 1. . . 2 . . . 3:
"Awww poor old Bill."
He looked depressed and didn't even look up when Fido walked between his legs.
"He needs a song." Sam said and walked up to the pony.
There he started to sing. "The sun will come out tomorrow.
Bet your bottom dollar that tomorrow.
There'll be sun.
Tomorrow, tomorrow, I love ya, tomorrow. . ."
"Why are you bothering?" came Ferny's voice breaking Sam in his rendition of Annie.
"What do you mean?" asked Aragorn.
"He's no use. So were gonna put him down."
Sam was shocked. "When?"
"Tomorrow."
And with that, he left the shocked eight. Fido sat on his little hunches and turned his head looking extremely cute and stuff, he pondered how they were going to get poor old Bill out of this one.
"Someone say something." Sam pleaded, breaking the uncomfortable silence.
So Merry and Pippin did.
"Your only a day away." They sung together.
Will they be able to rescue the poor pony from the evil clutches of the knackery?
How much is Bill really worth?
Will Legolas ever get over being dirty or will he need counselling?
Will the two trouble makers help the others worm their way out for paying for the pony?
And will they EVER get their destination?
Well, keep reading and find out in Chapter 3: A Horse Is A Horse Of Course Of Course . . . And This is a Pony, Dudes