Disclaimer: I don't own any of the Tolkein characters, or the song featured in this chapter. The song is from Moulin Rouge, and is sung by Nicole Kidman - the Sparkling Diamonds Melody.
A/N: Sorry if this chapter will scar some of you for life, but I couldn't resist...!
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"Yes!" Saruman punched his arms in the air in victory, before covering his crystal ball with some random silk cloth. He hummed merrily to himself. He was the coolest - he was the evilest. And he had succeeded in making the Fellowship go through the Mines of Moria, where they would all die! Or so he thought.
Saruman skipped to the entrance of his wonderful tower. He flung open the doors, and standing at the top of the stairs, he stared down at the land surrounding Isenguard - full of Orcs, Uruk-hai, goblins ...
Saruman: The French are glad to die ... for love!
[Trumpets, as orcs begin to look up from their work].
Saruman: A kiss on the hand may be quite continental!
Orcs: But diamonds are a girl's best friend!
Saruman: A kiss may be grand but it, won't pay the rental on your humble flat!
[Orcs and Uruk-hai join Saruman, with one ugly demon thing on each side of the step]
Saruman: Or help you feed your alley cat!
Uruk-hai: Men grow cold as, girls grow old
Saruman: And we all lose are charms in the end!
[Does a twirl as he begins to descend down the stairs]
Saruman: But square-cut or pear-shaped these rocks don't lose, their shape!
Orcs: Diamonds are a girl's best friend!
Orcs + Uruk-hai: Cause we are living in a material world
Saruman: And I am a material girl!
[Blows a kiss]
Saruman: Come and get me orcs! [A/N: urgh]
[Prances like a magnificent poof, and finally arrives back at the tower]
Saruman: And that's when those louses go back to their spouses! Diamonds
Orcs: Diamonds!
Saruman: Are a
Uruk-hai: Are a!
Saruman: Girl's
Orcs: Girl's!
Saruman: Best
Uruk-hai: Best!
Saruman: Friend!
[All group at bottom of stairs and do jazz-hands, while smiling cheesily.]
A/N: MWAHAHAHA!!
A/N: Sorry if this chapter will scar some of you for life, but I couldn't resist...!
==================================================
"Yes!" Saruman punched his arms in the air in victory, before covering his crystal ball with some random silk cloth. He hummed merrily to himself. He was the coolest - he was the evilest. And he had succeeded in making the Fellowship go through the Mines of Moria, where they would all die! Or so he thought.
Saruman skipped to the entrance of his wonderful tower. He flung open the doors, and standing at the top of the stairs, he stared down at the land surrounding Isenguard - full of Orcs, Uruk-hai, goblins ...
Saruman: The French are glad to die ... for love!
[Trumpets, as orcs begin to look up from their work].
Saruman: A kiss on the hand may be quite continental!
Orcs: But diamonds are a girl's best friend!
Saruman: A kiss may be grand but it, won't pay the rental on your humble flat!
[Orcs and Uruk-hai join Saruman, with one ugly demon thing on each side of the step]
Saruman: Or help you feed your alley cat!
Uruk-hai: Men grow cold as, girls grow old
Saruman: And we all lose are charms in the end!
[Does a twirl as he begins to descend down the stairs]
Saruman: But square-cut or pear-shaped these rocks don't lose, their shape!
Orcs: Diamonds are a girl's best friend!
Orcs + Uruk-hai: Cause we are living in a material world
Saruman: And I am a material girl!
[Blows a kiss]
Saruman: Come and get me orcs! [A/N: urgh]
[Prances like a magnificent poof, and finally arrives back at the tower]
Saruman: And that's when those louses go back to their spouses! Diamonds
Orcs: Diamonds!
Saruman: Are a
Uruk-hai: Are a!
Saruman: Girl's
Orcs: Girl's!
Saruman: Best
Uruk-hai: Best!
Saruman: Friend!
[All group at bottom of stairs and do jazz-hands, while smiling cheesily.]
A/N: MWAHAHAHA!!