THREE
Willow: You know, I don't really blame him.
Buffy: I assume this is all my fault, isn't it.
Willow: Well, you were a little … mean.
Buffy: No, I wasn't, I was just being… (pauses and sighs) This is just like
the Wizard of Oz. Except this isn't Kansas, and there isn't a tin man. Or a
scarecrow. Or a lion for that matter.
Willow: (confused) Yeah, because other than that, the situations are
identical.
Buffy: I mean, Xander is *so* obviously Dorothy.
Willow: Uh-huh.
Buffy: You know why he's doing this? Because he's trying to prove his
self-worth. Just like Dorothy, who ran away because her Aunt Em didn't
believe in her.
Willow: That was in the movie. And she ran away because Aunt Em had to give
Toto away.
Buffy: Really? I must have seen a different version then.
Willow: You think?
Buffy: But my point is still the same.
Willow: There was a point?
Buffy: You're not helping. Do you think he really hates me now?
Willow: Oh, you know Xander. He can't stay mad at anybody for long. Except
there was this one time, he held a grudge for twenty years.
Buffy: He's twenty-one!
Willow: Yeah, kids can be so vicious.
Buffy: So, what, I'm supposed to wait twenty years before I speak to him
again?
Willow: Sure, you could do that. Or you could apologize. Ooh, and bring pie.
He loves pie.
Buffy: I'm not going to bribe him with pie.
Willow: Yeah, okay, you can tell him that when you're forty-one.
SCENE : Xander's 'restaurant' lot.
Xander is sitting at the empty counter, his head on the table.
(Buffy comes in with pie)
Buffy: Hey.
Xander: (looks up at her) Hey.
Buffy: I brought pie. (shows him the pie) Peace offering.
Xander: (face lights up) Apple?
Buffy: Pumpkin.
Xander: (looks disappointed) Oh.
Buffy: But, oooh! Ooh! Hey, I have apple too! (takes out one from her bag)
Backup.
Xander: (happier) Okay.
Buffy: (puts the pies on the counter and sits next to him) About just now…
what I said about you not being serious and everything… I didn't mean it.
Xander: Nah, it's okay.
Buffy: No, it's not. I should have been a little bit more supportive of the
things you wanted to do. I guess I'm not as good a friend as I thought I
was.
Xander: You're right.
Buffy: (annoyed) No, Buffy, don't say things like that, you're the best
friend ever!
Xander: No, I meant about what you said earlier. About me and this
restaurant. I mean, I can't run a restaurant! What was I thinking?
Buffy: What are you saying?
Xander: I'm saying that maybe this was a big mistake.
Buffy: You have to be kidding. You can't quit now.
Xander: Like you said, I have no experience in this sort of thing. What if I
don't make enough money? How am I going to repay the loan? What will Giles
say?
Buffy: Xander… (stops) I could really use an inspiring quote right now.
Xander: How about 'persevere'?
Buffy: That' a word. I need a quote.
Xander: How about 'those who try will never truly fail'?
Buffy: (thinks about it) Nah.
Xander: 'The greatest failure is the failure to try'?
Buffy: (shakes her head) Nope.
Xander: Oh, I know. 'The men who try to do something and fail are infinitely
better than those who try to do nothing and succeed'.
Buffy: Yeah. That's good. Pretend I said that.
Xander: Well, it's not working.
Buffy: Pie? (hands him a pie. Xander shakes his head. She puts it down)
Look, Xander… if there's one thing I know about you it's that you can do
anything… I'm pretty sure of that. And I know that if you give this a shot…
you can do it.
Xander: Really?
Buffy: Yes. (smiles at him) Don't doubt me.
Xander: Do I ever?
Buffy: Once, when you thought I couldn't kill that demon with dynamite.
Xander: And was I right?
Buffy: (pauses) Yeah, but the explosion was pretty.
Xander: (laughs) Sometimes I still see the multicolored spots.
Buffy: Oh, we've had fun times, right.
Xander: Between the decapitations and demonic attacks. (pauses, and looks at
her)
Buffy: (looks back at him) What?
Xander: Nothing.
Buffy: That wasn't nothing.
Xander: It's just… (he leans forward and kisses her on the lips. She
struggles a little first, but then slowly gives in and kisses him back,
wrapping her arms around his neck. After a while they pull apart.) Yeah.
It's just this.
Buffy: Well, that's something. (bites her lower lip) So, are you still going
to name that dessert after me?
Xander: (grins) Buffy, after *that*, I'll name the whole damn restaurant
after you.
The END
Willow: You know, I don't really blame him.
Buffy: I assume this is all my fault, isn't it.
Willow: Well, you were a little … mean.
Buffy: No, I wasn't, I was just being… (pauses and sighs) This is just like
the Wizard of Oz. Except this isn't Kansas, and there isn't a tin man. Or a
scarecrow. Or a lion for that matter.
Willow: (confused) Yeah, because other than that, the situations are
identical.
Buffy: I mean, Xander is *so* obviously Dorothy.
Willow: Uh-huh.
Buffy: You know why he's doing this? Because he's trying to prove his
self-worth. Just like Dorothy, who ran away because her Aunt Em didn't
believe in her.
Willow: That was in the movie. And she ran away because Aunt Em had to give
Toto away.
Buffy: Really? I must have seen a different version then.
Willow: You think?
Buffy: But my point is still the same.
Willow: There was a point?
Buffy: You're not helping. Do you think he really hates me now?
Willow: Oh, you know Xander. He can't stay mad at anybody for long. Except
there was this one time, he held a grudge for twenty years.
Buffy: He's twenty-one!
Willow: Yeah, kids can be so vicious.
Buffy: So, what, I'm supposed to wait twenty years before I speak to him
again?
Willow: Sure, you could do that. Or you could apologize. Ooh, and bring pie.
He loves pie.
Buffy: I'm not going to bribe him with pie.
Willow: Yeah, okay, you can tell him that when you're forty-one.
SCENE : Xander's 'restaurant' lot.
Xander is sitting at the empty counter, his head on the table.
(Buffy comes in with pie)
Buffy: Hey.
Xander: (looks up at her) Hey.
Buffy: I brought pie. (shows him the pie) Peace offering.
Xander: (face lights up) Apple?
Buffy: Pumpkin.
Xander: (looks disappointed) Oh.
Buffy: But, oooh! Ooh! Hey, I have apple too! (takes out one from her bag)
Backup.
Xander: (happier) Okay.
Buffy: (puts the pies on the counter and sits next to him) About just now…
what I said about you not being serious and everything… I didn't mean it.
Xander: Nah, it's okay.
Buffy: No, it's not. I should have been a little bit more supportive of the
things you wanted to do. I guess I'm not as good a friend as I thought I
was.
Xander: You're right.
Buffy: (annoyed) No, Buffy, don't say things like that, you're the best
friend ever!
Xander: No, I meant about what you said earlier. About me and this
restaurant. I mean, I can't run a restaurant! What was I thinking?
Buffy: What are you saying?
Xander: I'm saying that maybe this was a big mistake.
Buffy: You have to be kidding. You can't quit now.
Xander: Like you said, I have no experience in this sort of thing. What if I
don't make enough money? How am I going to repay the loan? What will Giles
say?
Buffy: Xander… (stops) I could really use an inspiring quote right now.
Xander: How about 'persevere'?
Buffy: That' a word. I need a quote.
Xander: How about 'those who try will never truly fail'?
Buffy: (thinks about it) Nah.
Xander: 'The greatest failure is the failure to try'?
Buffy: (shakes her head) Nope.
Xander: Oh, I know. 'The men who try to do something and fail are infinitely
better than those who try to do nothing and succeed'.
Buffy: Yeah. That's good. Pretend I said that.
Xander: Well, it's not working.
Buffy: Pie? (hands him a pie. Xander shakes his head. She puts it down)
Look, Xander… if there's one thing I know about you it's that you can do
anything… I'm pretty sure of that. And I know that if you give this a shot…
you can do it.
Xander: Really?
Buffy: Yes. (smiles at him) Don't doubt me.
Xander: Do I ever?
Buffy: Once, when you thought I couldn't kill that demon with dynamite.
Xander: And was I right?
Buffy: (pauses) Yeah, but the explosion was pretty.
Xander: (laughs) Sometimes I still see the multicolored spots.
Buffy: Oh, we've had fun times, right.
Xander: Between the decapitations and demonic attacks. (pauses, and looks at
her)
Buffy: (looks back at him) What?
Xander: Nothing.
Buffy: That wasn't nothing.
Xander: It's just… (he leans forward and kisses her on the lips. She
struggles a little first, but then slowly gives in and kisses him back,
wrapping her arms around his neck. After a while they pull apart.) Yeah.
It's just this.
Buffy: Well, that's something. (bites her lower lip) So, are you still going
to name that dessert after me?
Xander: (grins) Buffy, after *that*, I'll name the whole damn restaurant
after you.
The END