FFU For Fun Unison (Dang, this is stupid….reeeeeeeallly stupid…)
Note: Based on a certain terrible translation. And I have never actually watched intently the animes involved in this random piece of writing.
Requested by a certain someone….
Disclaimer: FFU characters, Cid, Kaze, Ai, Yu, and Lisa are property of Squaresoft. Joey and the Yu-Gi-Oh references are from not me. Sailor Moon is not owned by me. Pokemon is definitely far from owned by me. Simply put, basically anyway, I do not own any of the characters involved in this err…. Rather retarded piece of "classic literature"…… yeah, right, "classic lit" my foot. Oh, wait, except maybe that last character, but I can't be so sure anyway because I don't know how I got forced into this by my brother.
"SOIL, integrate! I have chosen the soil that will bring your destruction! Now…for the brilliance that comes from the light…WHITE EARTH! For the darkness within of the blundering fools…BLACK IDIOT! And the radiance of the ….something to be determined…AMAZING GAYCE!" Kaze yelled. The Demon Gun fired.
"^^;; Umm, I don't see how Kaze can win like that," Ai whispered to Yu.
"Yeah, Black Idiot? I've never heard him use that before," Yu replied.
"Shush, little ones. You know he has many bullets," Lisa hissed.
The three watched.
"And they all have souls in them," remarked some random bystander.
"Hey, where'd you come from?" Ai inquired.
The random bystander smiled. "Hey, I know my stuff, man! I'm Cid, not related to Cid Highwind!"
"Blue Eyes White Dragone!" Kaze yelled.
Lisa blinked. "????"
"Hey! I have that card!" Cid rummaged through his pockets. He frowned. "I know I have it somewhere here….hmm…" After another moment of searching and frowning, Cid smiled and triumphantly raised a card into the air. "The Blue Eyes White Dragon! Here it is! I have it! I knew it!"
Everyone except Kaze stared at him. ^^;;
"What? This is a great card. Ha! I can win!" Cid laughed.
BOOM!
Everyone turned his or her attention to the noise. Kaze's gun had destroyed whatever abomination had existed before.
"It worked," Yu whispered to Ai.
"Ha! Guess what? I have a Red Eyes Black Dragon!" another random bystander yelled. This one also had blonde hair, but didn't have goggles.
"Hmm…." Cid glanced at a random Yu-Gi-Oh book in his hand. "You're, what's-his-name….hmmm…"
"Hey, I haven't got all day, ya know," the new bystander said, one foot tapping.
"Ah ha! You're Joey, the wimp!"
"What? I ain't no wimp! I challenge ya to a duel!" Joey hollered.
"You don't have a whatever-you-just-said card," Cid said.
"Whatever! I'll beat you with it or not! So, come on! What are ya waiting for?" Joey yelled.
Cid's face grew frantic.
"Well? Aw, I get it. You're chickening out!"
"I am not. Just give me a second and I'll work my handy dandy copy machine." Cid inserted his card into a small device. A moment later he had a stack of the same card.
"What? That's cheating!" Joey shouted. "You can't do that!"
"I just did and ha! I have better cards!"
"Man, he's just as bad as Pegasus," Joey mumbled. "Yugi'll kick your butt, won't ya, Yugi?…Yugi? Where are you?"
"I'm Yugi," Cid said.
"No, ya aren't. Your hair isn't sticking up with red purple stuff in it! And your eyes aren't huge and you aren't wearing blue clothes and you don't have, what was that again?…oh, yeah, you don't have that millenium puzzle thingy."
"Never mind that. Let's duel…" Cid said. "I invented this tech and got the idea from watching your show…"
From the ground rose a field much like the ones in Yu-Gi-Oh.
"Oh, yeah, I'm famous! My show!" Joey laughed. ~Man, how am I going to win like this? He's got all Blue Eyes White Dragons. I can only defend….Gee, this guy reminds me of Kaiba except he seems much more wimpier and not as strong…I bet this guy doesn't even know how to play.~
Cid summoned a Blue Eyes White Dragon while Joey defended and played a Baby Dragon. Suddenly, out of nowhere….
"Stop right there, evil dragons! In the name of the moon, I will defeat you!" A girl in a sailor suit stood on a cliff with a wand in her hand.
"Oh, I know who you are!" Cid looked in some other random anime book. "You're meatball head from Sailor Moon!"
"Yeah, well, look, lady whatever-your-name-was, I think you're mistaken. This is a game. What kind of evil dragons you talking about?" Joey demanded.
"MEATBALL HEAD?!! WHAT?!!! I AM NOT A MEATBALL HEAD!!!!! WHO ARE YOU? HOW DARE YOU INSULT ME?" Sailor Moon screeched.
~Psychos… all of them…~ Lisa pouted. "AND YOU ALL CALL YOURSELVES HUMAN?!! HA!"
Kaze looked at the scene. "…"
"We are human, lady," Joey said with a blink.
"Yeah, we are. Hey, misters with the dragons, I challenge you to a poke battle!" Ash yelled.
"We are?" Cid shrugged. "I invented the subway."
"What does that have to do with anything?" Ai asked. "We almost got killed by it when Omega caught up to us."
Brock was staring at Sailor Moon. "Oh…my love…" He ran up to Sailor Moon, kneeled and kissed her hand and dreamily spoke. "Did anyone ever tell you how beautiful you are? Oh, will you marry me?"
"Brock, you totally ignorant imbecile!" Misty grabbed his ear and pulled him somewhere far away. If everyone was quiet, they would have noticed a bunch of "ow"'s and "ouch"'s and Misty screaming and beating up Brock.
"Those dragons are still evil! And I will defeat you! Moon Prysmic Power! Crescent Moon Laser!" A beam of energy from Sailor Moon's wand shot toward the dragons.
"Eh? I've never read about that before…" Cid wrinkled his brow.
The gun glowed. "It moved." Kaze looked up. "[name to be filled in] also called Cloud, not related to Cloud Strife! Fight me! I will kill you!" Kaze screamed as he started to fire his gun at the beam of energy, which he had mistaken to be his rival. "I have chosen the soil to defeat you! Demon Gun, dissolve. Now…blah blah blah blah blah blah blah !!!!"
Sailor Moon screamed as she faded from existence. Cid was still pondering.
"I have won." Kaze watched the explosion. "Good riddance." He walked away. "[name to be inserted]…"
"Okay…."Joey made a face. "What a weird dude…"
"Alright, let's poke battle! Pikachu, I choose you!" Ash hollered.
"Pika!"
"Pikachu, lightning attack!" Ash ordered.
"Piiiii kaaaa chuuuuuuuuuuu!"
Cid groaned. @.@ Spirals were in his eyes.
"Gee, I think you missed and hit the wrong guy, but hey! That means I won the duel! Yeah! Hey, Yugi, Tristan, Tea, where ever you guys are, you guys should be proud of me! I won another duel by myself!!!! Yeah!!!!!! I beat the Blue Eyes White Dragons!!!!" Joey yelled. "Yahoo! Yeah, man!"
"Let's go to the subway….it's near. Chocobo says," Lisa said. She and the rest of the FFU cast minus Kaze and Cid head for the train.
Ash blinked. "Wha….try again, Pikachu."
"Piiiii kaaaa chuuuuuuuuu!"
"OWWWWWW!" Yu screamed. "That hurt!"
"All the better to get fried with!" Ai shouted as everyone in FFU minus Kaze and Cid charged toward wherever the subway was.
"Hey!" Yu protested.
"Pikachu, is something wrong?" Ash asked his pokemon.
"Pi?"
"Oh, there's something here? Like what? Is it one of the legendary pokemon? If it is, I must catch it!" Ash said with a determined tone.
Suddenly, a huge black hand reached out. Ash screamed. Pikachu hid behind Ash. Joey made a face. "What the heck is that?"
Cid had recovered and was now awake. "Oh, no! That's a part of Omega!"
"A part? Whaddya mean by that? And who the heck is Omega?" Joey asked.
"Never mind that, just run!" Cid took off.
The hand crushed a mountain nearby.
"Okay….wait for me, sore loser!!!!!!" Joey cried as he raced after Cid stumbling and falling on the way. Ash and Pikachu followed.
Meanwhile, Cid had somewhere gotten into near the hand unseen. He flicked a button on a remote control he had in his hand and laughed. "Ha! I can't believe they got fooled by it! So stupid! Hehe. Oh, wow, what a laugh! They actually bought it….hehe…"
Unknown to Cid, another hand similar to the one that had been used earlier appeared. Everything it touched became brown. By the time Cid noticed, everything around him was brown.
"AAAAAAHHHHHHHH! IT'S THE REAL THING!" Cid sped off so fast that you couldn't tell that his pants were on fire.
Somewhere nearby…. A dark figure laughed lightly. "Only a matter of simple magic. Bwahahahaha. It was doing fine. Now, I know it's uncontrollable….so, I'd better run too!!!!!!!!!!!!!"