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*Disclaimer* I own my character, Hayley, Rudi, John, Babaganosh and Beccy, I stole the majikal bag of tricks from Felix the Cat (the wonderful, wonderful cat) and I own the 2 gay lions!!! all others that are recognisable belong to J.K Rowling!!!
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WHY CANT SNAPE JUST BAKE THE CAKE?!?
CH.8: 2 Gay Lions
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~Beccy: Then suddenly... 2 gay lions jumped out of a wall and started to piggy back each other across the quadrangle, bumping in to none other than dun, dun, dun .... VOLDIE!!! Voldie saw-ed the lions and pulled out his wand ... and no he didn't curse them he ...
~Hailey: Threw his wand at them then picked up as many things that he could find and chucked that at them as well... but that didn't concur the 2 gay lions!!! oh no!!! it just slowed them down for a few seconds!!! then they ate poor tom for throwing stuff at them!!! than they ran into...
~Beccy: Hairy Pothead, Harry Potters evil assuming twine ... hairy pothead isn't to good ya see, he had just traded his bro to the dark lord so he could get more drugs! But those freaking gay lions had just eaten his beloved drugs! Oh yeah and Voldie ... well Hairy Pothead was ever so pissed! But got over it and transformed this fish tank that appeared out of no where into a bong and got ever so HIGH ... the two gay lions joined in and pretty soon they was all having an orgy ... well they were until they were so rudely interrupted by ...
~Hailey: CUMQUATS!!! Hairy Pothead doesn't like cumquats so he threw up then ran outta the window with his nickers round his ankles!!! Severus Snape liked ponchos, but those damn lions ate his poncho!!! so Severus Snape went for a walk in the jungle & he sed "lions & tigers & bears! oh my!" & the 2 gay lions came stampeding out killing all the plants in the way & eating the magic mushrooms!!!! & Snape yelled
~Beccy: "BAH HUMBUG THEY ARE MY MAGICK MUSHROOMS I NEED THEM FOR MY PRETTIFULLING POTION!!! GET AWAY!!" well the gay lions looked at Snape and the whispered sweet nothings into each others ear, Snape looked mortified and started to run, whilst he had this scene playing over and over through his head "RUN AWAY SCAR AND NEVER RETURN" Snape was obviously out of it, but he kept running anyway, well he did until he 'accidentally' slammed head on into a tree!! the two gay lions found this quite humorous and fell over each other laughing ...
~Hailey: LIKE IDIOTS! Snape had a mild arithmic attack where he started quoting the square roots of every # he can think of. Hermione likes the power puff girls!!!! draco is sexy, very, very sexy!!! everybody likes him!!! i worship my pic of him!!! anyhoo, draco was walking down the street eating chocolate when suddenly... 2 gay lions came piggy backing each other down the street when they suddenly fell into another dimension where the land was ruled by...
~Beccy: flying monkeys!!!!! ahhhhh not flying monkeys!!!!!!!!! anyhoo the 2 gay lions and the flying monkeys were fighting when out of nowhere Hermione appeared and started to ....
~Hailey: Do the makaraena while singing 'cos i got high' by afroman!!! she was up to the verse where she was a paraplegic when Ron came up & slapped her senseless & he enjoyed it so much that he didn't stop until he realised that she was dead!!!! then the flying monkey police came & arrested him & there was a big lawsuit & he denied it until the end, although the whole world saw-ed him, & he got life in-prisonment!!!!
*a zillion years later*
Ron: I'm in gaol!!!!
*a zillion years before*
Hairy Pothead: where's Hermione???
But she was in another dimension... the land of:.........
~Beccy: the sprits!!!!!!!!! Hermione was having a nice cup of tea with lily and James when out of nowhere hairy pothead stepped rite into her and said ... HERMIONE!!!!!!! want to come get high with me??? Hermione said YES!!! so they went off and got high....... in the girls toilets (port-a-potty) & out of nowhere... who should appear but...
~Hailey: Harry Potter!!!
Harry: hairy, stay away from my friends!!!
Hairy: *weird breathing noises* Harry *W.B.N* i have something to tell you *W.B.N* i... am your father!!!!!
Harry & Hermione: *gasp*
~Beccy: Harry: but my father is........ Professor Dumbledore!! Everyone knows that!!!!
Hairy: what the fuke?
Hermione: oh get over yourself Harry and with that she walked up to hairy and ...
~Hailey: pashed him really hard!!! on the lips!!!
Harry: Hermione!!!! (shocked) & he walked up to them... but on the way he fell into a hole in the ground & got burnt to a singe by all the magma & such.
*~meanwhile~*
Professor Dumbledore was baking a cake for his son who was really dead!! anyways it was a chocolate mud cake with sprinkles!!!! then they were at a partay & "everyone" was invited... "everyone" meaning Harry, Hairy, Hermione, Sirius, Remus, Lily, James, Obesia Eatwell, Lord Voldemort, Peter Pettigrew, the chocolate mud cake, the 2 gay lions, Mc Gonagall, & Severed Snake. suddenly it was a full moon &... Remus forgot to take his wolfsbane potion... but he didn't have to worry on account of... Dumbledore turned into a ginger bread man & Voldemort 'accidentally' stepped on him & smashed him into a fine powder!!!! But the 2 gay lions weren't happy at that so they........ decided to go find Draco who is sexy, very, very sexy, they found him and Ginny making out so they (the 2 gay lions) decided to join in ...
~Beccy: well Ginny got ever so pissed and went to talk to Hermione, well Hermione was sitting cross legged meditating ... "yummmmmmmmm!!!!!!!" Ginny sat down next to her and started levitating ... well she was until dun, dun, dun .... A TUB OF YOGHURT landed on their heads & said "*cough, cough* you must go to mushroom mountain to save the ginger bread pixies from the sofa cushions!!!"
Hermione: get fucked!!! we're meditating!!!!!!! ( & she ate the tub of yoghurt!!!!)
~Hailey: Then lord Voldemort appeared outta a smelly carcass!!! & he said:... "holy shit batman ... I'm scared" and he started to whimper ...
~Beccy: Hermione and Ginny came over to the dark lord and said "don't worry my dear ... batman isn't going to eat u!!!! if he was going to eat anyone it would be her" Hermione pointed at Ginny, who blushed "Hermione!!!!!"
"what its the truth" Hermione replied and then they all started talking aboot yoga.
~Hailey: Then Hermione & Tom got married & everyone was invited, cludeing the 2 gay lions. when the priest got up to the part where he says "if anyone believes that these 2 should not be wed, speak now, or 4eva hold your piece" or something like that someone yelled "they cant be wed!!!!!!!! i luv tom!!!!!" wen everyone turned around they saw that it was.... ME!!! only joking........... it was Sirius (who wasn't invited to the wedding so he came in through the door)
TOM: oh my god, Sirius, what are you doing here???? i ended it with you!!!! remember?!?!?!?! remember when i ended it????? remember???? do you remember?!?!?!?!
SIRIUS: yes, i remember, but i can't stop thinking about you!!!!
TOM: do you remember, really???? cos you don't seem to remember!!!!! i mean i remember!!!! I remember!!!!! but i suppose you remember, if i remember!!!!!
SISIUS: YES I REMEMBER!!!!
TOM: really, do you really remember?!?!?!?!
SIRIUS: YES!!!!!!!
TOM: ok, no need to yell!!! i was just making sure that you remember that YOU said ...
SIRIUS: what are you implying i just said?
TOM: that you was in love with me?
~Beccy: SIRIUS: i don't think so i love GINNY!!!!!!!!!!
GINNY: ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh get the FUCK away from me!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! ewwwwieeeeeeeeeee
~Hailey: TOM: he's mine!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
~Beccy: GINNY: you can have him
HERMIONE: YOU CANT MAKE SIRIUS GAY ITS NOT RITE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
~Hailey: TOM: (to Hermione) sorry, honey, but Sirius is all gay & a bag of tomatoes!!!!!
~Beccy: HERMIONE: i though you loved ME!!!!!!
TOM: sorry, darling but it was the UFO lamp, see!!!! *pulls out a UFO lamp & everyone are stunned by all the flashing colours!!!!!!*
~Hailey: Buahahahahahahahahahaha!!!!!!!!!
Anyhoo... tom & Sirius got married & started whispering sweet nothings into each others ears & had an orgy with the lions &... Hermione appeared with a knife and stabbed and killed Sirius and Sirius died to death.
HERMIONE: Now whom do you love?!?
TOM: uhhhhhhhhhhh. (*grabs the UFO lamp*) look at it!!!
HERMIONE: Ahhhhhhhhhh. the lamp!!! (*Dazed and confused*)
Then spaghetti monster started throwing pasta at them and the sofa cushions that had finished with the gumdrop houses on Mushroom Mountain ate them!!!
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*~TO BE CONTINUED~*
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AN: MOO HOO HA, HA, HA!!! My friends Beccy and I wrote this over the email. as you can see. we were on something and we cant remember what and I want some more but I don't think she does. oh well. *sigh*
REVIEW: You know it will haunt you if you don't!!!
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~The Golden Goose
~Evil*Fairy
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*Disclaimer* I own my character, Hayley, Rudi, John, Babaganosh and Beccy, I stole the majikal bag of tricks from Felix the Cat (the wonderful, wonderful cat) and I own the 2 gay lions!!! all others that are recognisable belong to J.K Rowling!!!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
WHY CANT SNAPE JUST BAKE THE CAKE?!?
CH.8: 2 Gay Lions
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
~Beccy: Then suddenly... 2 gay lions jumped out of a wall and started to piggy back each other across the quadrangle, bumping in to none other than dun, dun, dun .... VOLDIE!!! Voldie saw-ed the lions and pulled out his wand ... and no he didn't curse them he ...
~Hailey: Threw his wand at them then picked up as many things that he could find and chucked that at them as well... but that didn't concur the 2 gay lions!!! oh no!!! it just slowed them down for a few seconds!!! then they ate poor tom for throwing stuff at them!!! than they ran into...
~Beccy: Hairy Pothead, Harry Potters evil assuming twine ... hairy pothead isn't to good ya see, he had just traded his bro to the dark lord so he could get more drugs! But those freaking gay lions had just eaten his beloved drugs! Oh yeah and Voldie ... well Hairy Pothead was ever so pissed! But got over it and transformed this fish tank that appeared out of no where into a bong and got ever so HIGH ... the two gay lions joined in and pretty soon they was all having an orgy ... well they were until they were so rudely interrupted by ...
~Hailey: CUMQUATS!!! Hairy Pothead doesn't like cumquats so he threw up then ran outta the window with his nickers round his ankles!!! Severus Snape liked ponchos, but those damn lions ate his poncho!!! so Severus Snape went for a walk in the jungle & he sed "lions & tigers & bears! oh my!" & the 2 gay lions came stampeding out killing all the plants in the way & eating the magic mushrooms!!!! & Snape yelled
~Beccy: "BAH HUMBUG THEY ARE MY MAGICK MUSHROOMS I NEED THEM FOR MY PRETTIFULLING POTION!!! GET AWAY!!" well the gay lions looked at Snape and the whispered sweet nothings into each others ear, Snape looked mortified and started to run, whilst he had this scene playing over and over through his head "RUN AWAY SCAR AND NEVER RETURN" Snape was obviously out of it, but he kept running anyway, well he did until he 'accidentally' slammed head on into a tree!! the two gay lions found this quite humorous and fell over each other laughing ...
~Hailey: LIKE IDIOTS! Snape had a mild arithmic attack where he started quoting the square roots of every # he can think of. Hermione likes the power puff girls!!!! draco is sexy, very, very sexy!!! everybody likes him!!! i worship my pic of him!!! anyhoo, draco was walking down the street eating chocolate when suddenly... 2 gay lions came piggy backing each other down the street when they suddenly fell into another dimension where the land was ruled by...
~Beccy: flying monkeys!!!!! ahhhhh not flying monkeys!!!!!!!!! anyhoo the 2 gay lions and the flying monkeys were fighting when out of nowhere Hermione appeared and started to ....
~Hailey: Do the makaraena while singing 'cos i got high' by afroman!!! she was up to the verse where she was a paraplegic when Ron came up & slapped her senseless & he enjoyed it so much that he didn't stop until he realised that she was dead!!!! then the flying monkey police came & arrested him & there was a big lawsuit & he denied it until the end, although the whole world saw-ed him, & he got life in-prisonment!!!!
*a zillion years later*
Ron: I'm in gaol!!!!
*a zillion years before*
Hairy Pothead: where's Hermione???
But she was in another dimension... the land of:.........
~Beccy: the sprits!!!!!!!!! Hermione was having a nice cup of tea with lily and James when out of nowhere hairy pothead stepped rite into her and said ... HERMIONE!!!!!!! want to come get high with me??? Hermione said YES!!! so they went off and got high....... in the girls toilets (port-a-potty) & out of nowhere... who should appear but...
~Hailey: Harry Potter!!!
Harry: hairy, stay away from my friends!!!
Hairy: *weird breathing noises* Harry *W.B.N* i have something to tell you *W.B.N* i... am your father!!!!!
Harry & Hermione: *gasp*
~Beccy: Harry: but my father is........ Professor Dumbledore!! Everyone knows that!!!!
Hairy: what the fuke?
Hermione: oh get over yourself Harry and with that she walked up to hairy and ...
~Hailey: pashed him really hard!!! on the lips!!!
Harry: Hermione!!!! (shocked) & he walked up to them... but on the way he fell into a hole in the ground & got burnt to a singe by all the magma & such.
*~meanwhile~*
Professor Dumbledore was baking a cake for his son who was really dead!! anyways it was a chocolate mud cake with sprinkles!!!! then they were at a partay & "everyone" was invited... "everyone" meaning Harry, Hairy, Hermione, Sirius, Remus, Lily, James, Obesia Eatwell, Lord Voldemort, Peter Pettigrew, the chocolate mud cake, the 2 gay lions, Mc Gonagall, & Severed Snake. suddenly it was a full moon &... Remus forgot to take his wolfsbane potion... but he didn't have to worry on account of... Dumbledore turned into a ginger bread man & Voldemort 'accidentally' stepped on him & smashed him into a fine powder!!!! But the 2 gay lions weren't happy at that so they........ decided to go find Draco who is sexy, very, very sexy, they found him and Ginny making out so they (the 2 gay lions) decided to join in ...
~Beccy: well Ginny got ever so pissed and went to talk to Hermione, well Hermione was sitting cross legged meditating ... "yummmmmmmmm!!!!!!!" Ginny sat down next to her and started levitating ... well she was until dun, dun, dun .... A TUB OF YOGHURT landed on their heads & said "*cough, cough* you must go to mushroom mountain to save the ginger bread pixies from the sofa cushions!!!"
Hermione: get fucked!!! we're meditating!!!!!!! ( & she ate the tub of yoghurt!!!!)
~Hailey: Then lord Voldemort appeared outta a smelly carcass!!! & he said:... "holy shit batman ... I'm scared" and he started to whimper ...
~Beccy: Hermione and Ginny came over to the dark lord and said "don't worry my dear ... batman isn't going to eat u!!!! if he was going to eat anyone it would be her" Hermione pointed at Ginny, who blushed "Hermione!!!!!"
"what its the truth" Hermione replied and then they all started talking aboot yoga.
~Hailey: Then Hermione & Tom got married & everyone was invited, cludeing the 2 gay lions. when the priest got up to the part where he says "if anyone believes that these 2 should not be wed, speak now, or 4eva hold your piece" or something like that someone yelled "they cant be wed!!!!!!!! i luv tom!!!!!" wen everyone turned around they saw that it was.... ME!!! only joking........... it was Sirius (who wasn't invited to the wedding so he came in through the door)
TOM: oh my god, Sirius, what are you doing here???? i ended it with you!!!! remember?!?!?!?! remember when i ended it????? remember???? do you remember?!?!?!?!
SIRIUS: yes, i remember, but i can't stop thinking about you!!!!
TOM: do you remember, really???? cos you don't seem to remember!!!!! i mean i remember!!!! I remember!!!!! but i suppose you remember, if i remember!!!!!
SISIUS: YES I REMEMBER!!!!
TOM: really, do you really remember?!?!?!?!
SIRIUS: YES!!!!!!!
TOM: ok, no need to yell!!! i was just making sure that you remember that YOU said ...
SIRIUS: what are you implying i just said?
TOM: that you was in love with me?
~Beccy: SIRIUS: i don't think so i love GINNY!!!!!!!!!!
GINNY: ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh get the FUCK away from me!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! ewwwwieeeeeeeeeee
~Hailey: TOM: he's mine!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
~Beccy: GINNY: you can have him
HERMIONE: YOU CANT MAKE SIRIUS GAY ITS NOT RITE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
~Hailey: TOM: (to Hermione) sorry, honey, but Sirius is all gay & a bag of tomatoes!!!!!
~Beccy: HERMIONE: i though you loved ME!!!!!!
TOM: sorry, darling but it was the UFO lamp, see!!!! *pulls out a UFO lamp & everyone are stunned by all the flashing colours!!!!!!*
~Hailey: Buahahahahahahahahahaha!!!!!!!!!
Anyhoo... tom & Sirius got married & started whispering sweet nothings into each others ears & had an orgy with the lions &... Hermione appeared with a knife and stabbed and killed Sirius and Sirius died to death.
HERMIONE: Now whom do you love?!?
TOM: uhhhhhhhhhhh. (*grabs the UFO lamp*) look at it!!!
HERMIONE: Ahhhhhhhhhh. the lamp!!! (*Dazed and confused*)
Then spaghetti monster started throwing pasta at them and the sofa cushions that had finished with the gumdrop houses on Mushroom Mountain ate them!!!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
*~TO BE CONTINUED~*
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
AN: MOO HOO HA, HA, HA!!! My friends Beccy and I wrote this over the email. as you can see. we were on something and we cant remember what and I want some more but I don't think she does. oh well. *sigh*
REVIEW: You know it will haunt you if you don't!!!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
~The Golden Goose
~Evil*Fairy
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