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AN: I am only updating because I'm bored!!! Not because everybody loves me and I got 100 reviews, because I didn't… :P feel bad? No…? well I don't care!!! So… what if I do care…? What are you gonna do about it?!? SHUT UP!!!
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*Disclaimer* I own my characters. That is all. Don't sue me.
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WHY CANT SNAPE JUST BAKE THE CAKE?!?
CH.9: The Man On The Moon
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A couple of days after all the craziness, Hogwarts seemed to go back to as normal as possible… I say 'as possible' because, you have to admit, Hogwarts was never really normal.
In potions, as usual, Snape was picking on Harry, Draco was laughing at Harry getting picked on, Nevil (SP?) was in the process of blowing up *another* cauldron.
"Mr. Potter… how is it that you find yourself without a head-" Snape jeered but was interrupted by Nevil combusting into a swirl of pink flames. The smoke was thick and black and everybody was coughing and spluttering.
When the smoke cleared, a huge, round boulder was in the middle of the room. Everyone stared at it in awe. Suddenly the boulder started spinning, slowly at first, then faster and faster and faster, until it was just a blur. Then suddenly it stopped. It surprisingly had a face and it was looking directly at the now slightly charred Nevil.
Its mouth cracked into a wide grin and it bellowed "Ha, Ha, Ha! Thank you all-mighty keeper of the port-a-potty! You have freed me from my confinement! Come friends, follow me to glory!"
Everyone just stood in shock at this sudden talking boulder appearing out of thin air during their potions lesson. The room was silent until Hermione stepped in and asked, "I'm not trying to be rude or anything, but, who are you?"
"An excellent question, young daughter of eve!" the boulder bellowed in his deep, rustic voice, "I… am the man on the moon… you… can call me god. Come friends, follow!"
Nobody really understood what happened next. The man on the moon started spinning again and he emitted a thick purple fog, so thick that Snape had trouble seeing his hand an inch away from his unusually large nose (AN: Sorry Snape fans… I *had* to say it!). When the fog cleared, the man on the moon had disappeared! Instead in his place stood something that would make your skin crawl, everyone in the room screamed and a few of the more squeamish people threw up, and Nevil fainted dead on the spot. What would make everyone so scared you ask? Well… there, standing right where the man on the moon once sat was… Nikky Webster… (AN: *screams bloody-murder at how sick her mind is* okay… breathe in, breathe out, breathe in, breathe out. 1- 2-3-4-5-6-7-8. okay… continuing with the fic)
"Now class…" Nikky Webster started, "everyone take a seat!"
"Yes miss…" the class droned in unison
"Today we will be learning how to stop the sofa cushions from eating the grilled cheese monsters on mushroom mountain… any questions so far?" Nikky asked
Nevil (who was still passed out) raised his hand, "I have a question! What is the moon made out of?"
"Excellent question!" Nikky stated, "perfect for what I'm teaching today! Well… that's a very stupid question… everyone knows what the moon is made out of… GREEN CHEESE!!!"
"Awwwwww!!!" the class said in awe, "green cheese! Of corse!"
"Well…" Nikky continued, "as I was saying… the tides are caused by the moon, and when there is a moon and sun alignment the tide is at its highest! And when Saturn enters the third house, the world will explode and Rollins the Rodent will rule its remains! All hail Rollins the Rodent! She is queen!"
"Wait a minute… this is *my* class!!!" Snape said angrily. Unfortunately by the time he finished this sentence everyone had left the room and gone to lunch.
~At Lunch~
Tom Riddle was sitting at the Slytherin table eating his curd and way. Along came a spider and sat down beside her, and frightened Mrs Muppet away!
~Later That Day~
Ron: I hate being poor!
Harry: yeah… so do i…
Everyone: *look at Harry oddly*
Harry: what?
Everyone: *shrugs*
Hermione: Don't be stupid Harry! Everybody knows that Irish people don't *really* exist!
Harry: SHUT UP YOU HEFFER!!!
Hermione: I'm not a heifer!
Harry: you are so fat that you fell into the Grand Canyon and got stuck!
Hermione: *bursts into tears* I'm not fat!
Harry: *chanting* fatty-fat, fat, fat! Fatty-fat, fat, fat!
Hermione: *curls up into a quivering ball on the floor, rocking back and forward, hugging her knee's*
Purple-Tomato-That-Is-Really-Meant-To-Be-Red-But-Don't-Give-A-Damn-About- What-Colour-He-Is: Nobody likes a cry-baby, you just splash him right back!
Hermione: *looks up* what?
Purple-Tomato-That-Is-Really-Meant-To-Be-Red-But-Don't-Give-A-Damn-About- What-Colour-He-Is: Hermione, get out of da water… there's an ali-gator after you!
Hermione: WHERE'S THE ALIGATOR?!?
Purple-Tomato-That-Is-Really-Meant-To-Be-Red-But-Don't-Give-A-Damn-About- What-Colour-He-Is: @-@
Harry: everyone run!!! Its trying to hypnotise us!!!
Purple-Tomato-That-Is-Really-Meant-To-Be-Red-But-Don't-Give-A-Damn-About- What-Colour-He-Is: @-@
Nevil: *falls to the ground* its too late for me… go on without me!
Everyone else: okay!
Nevil: wait a minute!!! Your all meant to say "no! we wont leave without you!" or something along those lines…
Everyone else: *already gone*
Purple-Tomato-That-Is-Really-Meant-To-Be-Red-But-Don't-Give-A-Damn-About- What-Colour-He-Is: @-@
Nevil: nooooooooooooooooooooooo *takes a deep breath* oooooooooooooooooooooooo!!!
Purple-Tomato-That-Is-Really-Meant-To-Be-Red-But-Don't-Give-A-Damn-About- What-Colour-He-Is: @-@
Nevil: *Dies*
Then suddenly… two gay lions appeared, reared up to Nevil, gave a flimsy "Rawer!" and piggy backed each other down the corridor.
~Back in the forbidden forest~
Ginny: Hark! I am in need of finding my love! *searching for draco*
Draco: Ginny! I can hear-eth thee but I canst not see-eth thee!
Ginny: *turns around to find…*
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*~TO BE CONTINUED~*
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AN: as usual, I'm bored, need ideas, Beccy!!! HELP!!! YOUR GOOD AT THINKING OF STUPID THINGS!!! And I'm not putting Dorepoll in this because I don't feel like it!!!
REVIEW: You know it will haunt you if you don't!!!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
~ There is No Such Thing As Stupid Questions… Just Stupid People!
~The Golden Goose
AN: I am only updating because I'm bored!!! Not because everybody loves me and I got 100 reviews, because I didn't… :P feel bad? No…? well I don't care!!! So… what if I do care…? What are you gonna do about it?!? SHUT UP!!!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
*Disclaimer* I own my characters. That is all. Don't sue me.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
WHY CANT SNAPE JUST BAKE THE CAKE?!?
CH.9: The Man On The Moon
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
A couple of days after all the craziness, Hogwarts seemed to go back to as normal as possible… I say 'as possible' because, you have to admit, Hogwarts was never really normal.
In potions, as usual, Snape was picking on Harry, Draco was laughing at Harry getting picked on, Nevil (SP?) was in the process of blowing up *another* cauldron.
"Mr. Potter… how is it that you find yourself without a head-" Snape jeered but was interrupted by Nevil combusting into a swirl of pink flames. The smoke was thick and black and everybody was coughing and spluttering.
When the smoke cleared, a huge, round boulder was in the middle of the room. Everyone stared at it in awe. Suddenly the boulder started spinning, slowly at first, then faster and faster and faster, until it was just a blur. Then suddenly it stopped. It surprisingly had a face and it was looking directly at the now slightly charred Nevil.
Its mouth cracked into a wide grin and it bellowed "Ha, Ha, Ha! Thank you all-mighty keeper of the port-a-potty! You have freed me from my confinement! Come friends, follow me to glory!"
Everyone just stood in shock at this sudden talking boulder appearing out of thin air during their potions lesson. The room was silent until Hermione stepped in and asked, "I'm not trying to be rude or anything, but, who are you?"
"An excellent question, young daughter of eve!" the boulder bellowed in his deep, rustic voice, "I… am the man on the moon… you… can call me god. Come friends, follow!"
Nobody really understood what happened next. The man on the moon started spinning again and he emitted a thick purple fog, so thick that Snape had trouble seeing his hand an inch away from his unusually large nose (AN: Sorry Snape fans… I *had* to say it!). When the fog cleared, the man on the moon had disappeared! Instead in his place stood something that would make your skin crawl, everyone in the room screamed and a few of the more squeamish people threw up, and Nevil fainted dead on the spot. What would make everyone so scared you ask? Well… there, standing right where the man on the moon once sat was… Nikky Webster… (AN: *screams bloody-murder at how sick her mind is* okay… breathe in, breathe out, breathe in, breathe out. 1- 2-3-4-5-6-7-8. okay… continuing with the fic)
"Now class…" Nikky Webster started, "everyone take a seat!"
"Yes miss…" the class droned in unison
"Today we will be learning how to stop the sofa cushions from eating the grilled cheese monsters on mushroom mountain… any questions so far?" Nikky asked
Nevil (who was still passed out) raised his hand, "I have a question! What is the moon made out of?"
"Excellent question!" Nikky stated, "perfect for what I'm teaching today! Well… that's a very stupid question… everyone knows what the moon is made out of… GREEN CHEESE!!!"
"Awwwwww!!!" the class said in awe, "green cheese! Of corse!"
"Well…" Nikky continued, "as I was saying… the tides are caused by the moon, and when there is a moon and sun alignment the tide is at its highest! And when Saturn enters the third house, the world will explode and Rollins the Rodent will rule its remains! All hail Rollins the Rodent! She is queen!"
"Wait a minute… this is *my* class!!!" Snape said angrily. Unfortunately by the time he finished this sentence everyone had left the room and gone to lunch.
~At Lunch~
Tom Riddle was sitting at the Slytherin table eating his curd and way. Along came a spider and sat down beside her, and frightened Mrs Muppet away!
~Later That Day~
Ron: I hate being poor!
Harry: yeah… so do i…
Everyone: *look at Harry oddly*
Harry: what?
Everyone: *shrugs*
Hermione: Don't be stupid Harry! Everybody knows that Irish people don't *really* exist!
Harry: SHUT UP YOU HEFFER!!!
Hermione: I'm not a heifer!
Harry: you are so fat that you fell into the Grand Canyon and got stuck!
Hermione: *bursts into tears* I'm not fat!
Harry: *chanting* fatty-fat, fat, fat! Fatty-fat, fat, fat!
Hermione: *curls up into a quivering ball on the floor, rocking back and forward, hugging her knee's*
Purple-Tomato-That-Is-Really-Meant-To-Be-Red-But-Don't-Give-A-Damn-About- What-Colour-He-Is: Nobody likes a cry-baby, you just splash him right back!
Hermione: *looks up* what?
Purple-Tomato-That-Is-Really-Meant-To-Be-Red-But-Don't-Give-A-Damn-About- What-Colour-He-Is: Hermione, get out of da water… there's an ali-gator after you!
Hermione: WHERE'S THE ALIGATOR?!?
Purple-Tomato-That-Is-Really-Meant-To-Be-Red-But-Don't-Give-A-Damn-About- What-Colour-He-Is: @-@
Harry: everyone run!!! Its trying to hypnotise us!!!
Purple-Tomato-That-Is-Really-Meant-To-Be-Red-But-Don't-Give-A-Damn-About- What-Colour-He-Is: @-@
Nevil: *falls to the ground* its too late for me… go on without me!
Everyone else: okay!
Nevil: wait a minute!!! Your all meant to say "no! we wont leave without you!" or something along those lines…
Everyone else: *already gone*
Purple-Tomato-That-Is-Really-Meant-To-Be-Red-But-Don't-Give-A-Damn-About- What-Colour-He-Is: @-@
Nevil: nooooooooooooooooooooooo *takes a deep breath* oooooooooooooooooooooooo!!!
Purple-Tomato-That-Is-Really-Meant-To-Be-Red-But-Don't-Give-A-Damn-About- What-Colour-He-Is: @-@
Nevil: *Dies*
Then suddenly… two gay lions appeared, reared up to Nevil, gave a flimsy "Rawer!" and piggy backed each other down the corridor.
~Back in the forbidden forest~
Ginny: Hark! I am in need of finding my love! *searching for draco*
Draco: Ginny! I can hear-eth thee but I canst not see-eth thee!
Ginny: *turns around to find…*
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
*~TO BE CONTINUED~*
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
AN: as usual, I'm bored, need ideas, Beccy!!! HELP!!! YOUR GOOD AT THINKING OF STUPID THINGS!!! And I'm not putting Dorepoll in this because I don't feel like it!!!
REVIEW: You know it will haunt you if you don't!!!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
~ There is No Such Thing As Stupid Questions… Just Stupid People!
~The Golden Goose