Every Time I Close My Eyes

by Demelza

Was 'What Else Needs Be Said?' - Chapter 2 'Build Up' is now added...

2. Ch 2. Build Up

Title: Build Up
Author: Demelza
Email: demelza81@yahoo.co.nz
Written: August 25th 2002
Category: Bosco/Faith, Carlos/Kim, angst, romance, etc,.
Disclaimer: Bosco and Faith and everything Third Watch related unfortunately DO NOT belong to me. They belong to John Wells, NBC, WB and co. If I owned them, you'd know about it ;) (shipperness between Boz and Faith ALL the time!)
Rating and Content Warning: Rated NC17 for sexual content
Series: Part of the 'Every Time I Close My Eyes' series. This is the second of the stories. 'What Else Needs Be Said' is the first.
Summary: That would be telling ;)
Author's Notes: This story contains some pretty...adult, scenes, so kids PLEASE DO NOT READ THIS STORY!! (A tamer version can be found at my website: http://demelza.hostme.co.nz/ds/ under 'Every Time I Close My Eyes' in the Third Watch category section)
Dedication: For all the world's millionaires! And yes, this is my bid to get you guys (Millionaires) on my side so we can buy into TW and ask TPTB to put loads of B/F shipperness stuff in the show. Oh what, no? Can't happen? BUGGER!! But on a more serious note (Yo! You in the back shouting out 'You? Dem? Serious!? Never!' ..... bite me :P)...this story is for Angie and Bee.

"Well, well, well..." Sergeant Christopher smirked. "Sullivan said something about the two of you still needing to take a shower...but this..." he grinned wider. "This takes it to a WHOLE new level, wouldn't you agree?"

"It's not what it looks like," Faith defensively replied. "Just hand us the towels."

"Now why would I do that? I think it'd be more fun to report this to the Lieutenant, let him come see for himself what you two are up to in his Precinct."

"You wouldn't dare!" Bosco shouted, receiving an 'oh wouldn't I?' look back from the other man.

"Just give us the damn towels, Christopher!" Faith said, anxiety showing in her voice.

"I'm not going to do that, although..."

"Although what?" Bosco asked back, his own frustration showing.

"If you two really want this kept between the three of us, and us only, I might be open to...some kind of, deal...maybe."

Faith looked at Bosco, then back to Christopher. "What...kind of deal?" She reluctantly asked.

Christopher tilted his head to the side, an amused, and extremely smug smirk still stretched across his face. "Any time I give you a run that you don't like, I don't want to hear any bitching from either of you. Oh, and you will do EVERYTHING I ask of you, no questions asked, or else this little shower incident...it gets reported to Swersky, and every officer in this and the surrounding precincts will know about it. Do you understand me?"

Bosco and Faith looked at each other, "Yes," they both agreed.

"Excellent," he smirked, before reaching for the towels on the rack to his right and tossing them over at the two officers. Faith single handedly caught them in her hands, clutching hers to the front of her, while Bosco took his and covered himself up, now facing the Sergeant. "Oh..." Christopher begun, laughing. "One slip up, and Yokas, I'll let your husband know about this little...affair."

"You bastard," she cursed, but his smug smirk grew wider still, then he walked out, chanting out 'I've got the power!' as he left.

As the door closed, and Faith felt sure Christopher had left, she let out a breath and lifted her eyes to Bosco's where he was now facing her, holding the towel around him, like she was with hers. "I'm...sorry..." she whispered to him, swallowing hard.

"No, I am...for...kissing you..."

A long moment's silence as she looked down at the drain, watching as the water went trickling down it. "Don't be..." she soon said, lifting her gaze to meet his.

Another pause of silence. "What are you trying to say...?" he asked, his voice quiet, gentle.

"I'm saying...if not for Christopher..." she shook her head, realizing what she was saying was wrong. Yes, deep inside, hell even on the surface she knew with a strong certainty that she wished Christopher hadn't stopped them, that they had taken the kiss to the next level. 'The next level', she thought, looking back at Bosco. "We better get ready..." she said, walking straight past him when he took her by the hand and she turned around to face him. "Bosco..."

"Maurice..." He whispered, though his voice was strong. He stepped over to her, releasing her hand from his as he put his hand on her hip, drawing her closer to him. Neither said anything as their eyes locked and their bodies pressed against each other. "How come you never call me Maurice...?" he gently asked, brushing the wet hair on her cheek back behind her ear.

Faith swallowed hard, shrugging slightly, "I guess...when we first met, you introduced yourself as Bosco...that's why..."

He nodded, smiling faintly, then slowly let her go, taking a step back. "We better get ready," Bosco then said, clearing his throat slightly.

Without another word, he stepped out of the shower and Faith let out a breath, closing her eyes. 'What am I going to do Lord?'

* * *

Later, After Roll-Call

Davis looked over at Sully as he drove their squad out of the parking lot, headed out to sector seven. "Christopher really came down on Yokas and Bosco," he commented, glancing out his side window as they came up to an intersection.

"He usually does," Sully said back, not really listening as he pulled the squad to a stop as the lights above turned red.

"Yeah, but that smirk on his face..."

"He usually has that..."

Davis shook his head, "You don't care that he's being a real hard ass to them?"

The older officer let out a long sigh, "I could really care less, no..." he replied, putting his foot on the gas pedal as the lights turned green.

"It's not right, someone needs to do something about it..."

Sully let out another long sigh, "If we do anything, or say anything, all that'll get us is the same punishment as Bosco and Yokas," he said, nonchalantly.

Davis looked at him, shaking his head. 'Just because you're having troubles at home...'

There was a long moment's silence as they drove along when a call came in for them to respond to a domestic dispute call. "What a way to start the shift..." Sully grumbled, while Davis reached for his radio and called back to Central that they were responding.

* * *

"Hooker Patrol," Bosco let out a groan as he scratched the forearm of his left arm. "I hate hooker patrol."

Hands loosely gripping the steering wheel, Faith looked sideways at him, "You and me both," she agreed, eyes shifting and she looked out along the road for a moment before she let out a long, low breath.

Silence.

"So, are we gonna let him get away with blackmailing us?" He casually asked, leaning his head back against the seat.

More silence. "No," Faith quietly replied, her eyes scanning the road, watching carefully as the women of the streets started walking away on sight of the squad car.

"There has to be something we can do," he said, as if thinking aloud.

"Like what?" she asked, brow creasing as she turned her head to face him, "Go to Swersky?" He nodded. "Then we'd have to explain to him what happened in the shower."

"Christopher's already threatening to tell him everything."

"Yeah, well I personally don't want Lieu knowing," she said back, sighing softly.

Bosco looked back at her, "Me either. What we really need to do, though..."

"Is ride this thing out," Faith interrupted, putting her hand up to stop him from continuing. "I don't want what happened being spread about."

"You really care that much about what other people think?"

She shook her head, "I could care less about what people think...but, aside from how much I...wanted, what happened to happen...I'm married, Boz." He just nodded. She shrugged slightly, then shook her head, "Even if, I wasn't...I wouldn't want people knowing what happens in my personal life."

Bosco sat forward in his seat and Faith could see that serious 'thinking' look in his eyes and she immediately brought the car to a stop in the middle of the road. "You're planning something...?" she said, more asking.

He nodded. "Instead of taking this to Swersky, why don't we just find something to use against Christopher?"

Her brow creased, "Like what?" she asked him, but he shook his head, not knowing. "It's a good plan..."

"We could bug his place...put a tap on his phone, get Ginger to let us use one of those surveillance vans."

"Nice plan, but it's illegal, Boz, and you know it."

Bosco nodded, agreeing. "But so is what he's doing to us. And I don't know about you, but I don't plan to work hooker patrol the rest of my days in the Department," he said back to her, leaning against his seat once more. "Unless you have a better plan?"

She shook her head, "No, but we can't just bust in there and bug his apartment..."

"No, but we can at least tag his every move for the next few weeks, see what he gets up to, who he meets...etcetera..."

"We could lose our jobs over this, Boz..."

"So you're in?" He asked, watching as she hesitantly nodded. "Great!"

Faith shook her head, not believing what she'd just agreed to do when lights from a car behind them filled the squad and she immediately put the vehicle into gear and continued driving. "We have to plan it out though, make sure he doesn't know, and if we're caught..." she said, thinking aloud.

"We won't be...but how about we discuss it after work tonight at the bar?"

She looked back at him, "Okay."

* * *

At the end of the shift that night

Faith sat in the far booth of Hagarty's while Bosco was walking over with two jugs of beer, one for each of them. He placed them down on the table before scooting in on the seat opposite her. "Thanks," she softly replied, smiling slightly back at him.

He smiled back, drinking a mouthful of his beer before pushing the jug aside and pulling out a pad of paper and a pen. He clicked it, getting ready to write, then lifted his gaze to meet hers. "I still think we could go into his apartment and set up a couple of cameras..."

Faith almost coughed on the mouthful of beer that she had in her mouth. She swallowed it down, painfully, then shook her head. "We can't go in there...following him is illegal enough in itself, but if we put cameras in there, Boz..."

"I told you, call me Maurice, Faith..." he told her, grinning.

She smiled back at him. "We'll lose our jobs for sure..." she continued.

"Not if we don't get caught."

"We probably would," she said back, shaking her head. "No, I think we should just stick with following him. That way we can hire a rental and he wouldn't suspect it's us."

"Not unless he actually sees us."

"Right."

Bosco nodded, then took another mouthful of his beer. "So I guess all we need to do now, is decide when to start."

"What about tomorrow night? I've been working mornings on Wednesday's for the last six weeks now while Fred works late, I can get a sitter to look after the kids for a few hours."

"Sounds good to me."

Faith smiled faintly, nodding as she then lifted her beer up to her mouth and took another drink.

Bosco slumped backwards against the seat, putting his arm up on the back of it, "Hey, you want something different to drink?"

"Like what?" she asked, looking at him quizically.

"Vodka, Tequila, Bourbon, Jack Daniels?"

"I could go for a shot of Tequila."

"Ooh, hitting the top shelf already Yokas..."

She laughed, "Why not...I have to walk home anyway, may as well walk off the hangover while I'm at it. "

"True enough," Bosco replied, smiling before getting up from where he sat and headed over to the main bar where Davis was sitting with Alex. He motioned for the barman who walked over to him, busy drying a glass in his hand. "I'll have a shot of Tequila and a Jack Daniels, thanks..."

The barman nodded, then went to get the drinks.

"Mind if we join you?" Davis asked, looking sideways at Alex who gave him an agreeing look. He turned to Bosco again, who was staring back at him. "Bosco?"

"Ah...yeah, sure..." he replied after a moment, not wanting them to think he and Faith were trying to keep away from the others, though to him that was half true. The barman returned and Bosco handed the man the correct change before heading over to the booth, shortly followed by Davis and Alex. "Hope you don't mind, they wanted to join us."

"Not at all," Faith smiled up at them, moving over and motioning for Bosco to sit beside her so that Alex and Davis could sit together opposite them. With everyone seated she quickly drank down her shot of tequila, watching as Bosco downed his whiskey.

Several more drinks later, laughter filled the end booth when Carlos and Kim approached, Carlos was laughing too, but his was only in trying to join in. Everyone immediately stopped, Alex rolling her eyes at what her partner had done. "There enough room there for all of us?" Kim asked and Alex quickly scooted around so that she was sitting right up beside Faith, then Davis squished up beside her and then Kim and Carlos sat down with them.

Faith's arm was pressed hard up against Bosco's. Their arms were bare, since they were wearing short sleeved shirts and she swallowed hard, feeling her heart racing faster and faster in her chest at the thought of being that close to him, feeling the heat of his skin against hers. Mind surging with thoughts, she tried to control her breathing when laughter filled the booth once more and she joined in, not sure what she was laughing at but knowing it was a welcome release to try better regain how she was feeling inside.

Two more rounds of drinks were ordered with Alex and Davis ignoring the rest of them as they were kissing passionately in the corner, Faith trying to stop the thoughts re-emerging of the heated kiss she and Bosco had shared at the beginning of their shift.

"So..." Kim began, the liquor on her breath thick as she wound her arm around Carlos' neck, "What say you and me...go dance?"

Carlos stared back at her, wild grin on his face, "Um...okay...sure..." he replied, downing the last mouthful of his beer before getting up from the seat and taking Kim's hand in his. She stood up quickly, then led him over to the jukebox where they started dancing to the song that had just started to play, 'Only One' by Lifehouse.

Faith swallowed hard, watching the two dancing, their bodies pressed so close together. She was almost lost watching them when she was accidentally hit in the head by Alex's hand. "Sorry..." the younger woman said, breaking away from Davis' lips for long enough to give her an apologetic before getting back to the passionate embrace she and her boyfriend were mixed up in.

"Hey, you wanna get out of here?" Bosco whispered against her ear and Faith looked back at him, his face inches away from hers, his breath warm as it brushed up against her skin. She nodded, and without another word he took her by the hand and they got up from the booth and headed out the backdoor leading to the alley at the rear end of the bar.

"I should ah...really get going home, anyway...it's after three and I have to get up at seven..." Faith quietly told him, squeezing his hand slightly and forcing a smile. She didn't want to go home, didn't want to go home to Fred. She didn't want the night to end. Not here, not now.

"Yeah..." Bosco nodded, agreeing with her. "How about I walk you home?"

She swallowed, looking back at him, "You don't have to do that. Besides, you have to take your car home."

He shrugged, "Eh, I'll catch a cab back, besides, I shouldn't really be driving...not after all that drinking."

"True," Faith said, nodding. "But, really...I'm fine..."

"How about...I just walk you to the road, an alley is no place for a lady this time of night..."

"Okay, but that's all..."

"That's as far as I'm willing to go..." Bosco replied, grinning widely as he put his arm around her waist and held her closer to him.

* * *

The song ended and Kim let out a sigh as she leant her head against Carlos' shoulder. "I never want this night to end..." she mumbled, draping her arms around his neck as she leaned back slightly to look him directly in the face. "You know...you're not that bad a dancer..." she said, smiling widely, before giggling.

He raised his eyebrows, "You know...there's something else I'm not that bad at..." he said, his tone suggestive.

She smiled wider yet, "I'll bet...you have all the ladies...coming back for more..." she whispered, the words 'Your drunk Zambrano, don't do something you'll regret' running through her mind. But, they quickly faded as Carlos started gently caressing her back. Not even thinking twice, she leant forward and planted her lips against his. The kiss was a deep, passionate one that soon ended when they were pulled apart. "Jimmy!" Kim exclaimed, cringing at the odor of alcohol on his clothing. Hell, just looking at him she knew he was plastered, and it was proved as much when he went to move toward Carlos but instead stopped where he was, his eyes rolled in the back of his head and he fell to the ground in a slump, snoring.

Carlos laughed, and Kim quickly joined in, shaking her head. "So, I was thinking..." Carlos began, stepping over Jimmy and taking her in his arms. "The alley..."

She blinked, swallowing. "Only if you think you can...deliver...Nieto," she grinned.

"Oh, hell yeah..." he grinned back at her.

Within seconds, Kim had grabbed him by the hand and they were headed for the back door. Carlos shot a huge grin at Davis, who wore a bemused smirk by what his roommate was about to get up to, when Kim yanked Carlos to make him hurry. "I'm coming, I'm coming..." he told her.

She stopped as they reached the door, pulling it open, "Oh please don't tell me a quick jerk like that and it's over!" she stated, laughing as she saw the shocked look on his face. "Get out there..." she quickly ordered and he just as quickly turned around and headed down the back steps of the bar.

* * *

"Thanks for walking me to the edge of the alley," Faith smiled warmly in Bosco's direction, their arms still around each other.

"Pleasure's mine," he replied. "Though, I...by law, I couldn't let you walk home alone, not in your state."

"I think you're more drunk than me, Bosco..." she chuckled, shaking her head at the slightly dazed look on his face.

"Call me Maurice," Bosco pleaded with her, squeezing her hand gently. "You've known me ten years now, more than that, and you still call me Bosco."

Faith smiled, "It's time to say goodnight, Boz."

"Ah..." he stammered, putting his hand up so that his finger was pressed against her lips, "Shhh...you hear that?" he asked, turning around so that he was facing the alley behind them. Carlos and Kim were stumbling out of the back door and around the side of the building slightly, then in a split moment Kim was slamming Carlos heavily up against the wall. Bosco turned back to Faith, eyebrows raised in amusement.

"Well...I could see it..." she smiled, watching in amusement herself as Kim ripped Carlos' shirt open. She turned back to Bosco, letting out a soft sigh. "Maybe I will let you walk me home...if I'm as drunk as them, well...I don't want that happening..."

He merely smiled, putting his arm around her tighter as they started walking down the road.

* * *

With Carlos up against the wall, his shirt ripped open, Kim started placing kiss upon kiss against the bare skin of his chest, using her tongue to massage his nipple when he turned her around so that he had her against the wall. His body pressed against hers, each being able to feel the other's heart beating in their chests.

"I thought you liked a woman who took charge?" she asked, breathlessly, and he nodded before ripping her blouse open and quickly finding out she wasn't wearing a bra.

"It just keeps getting better..." Carlos murmured, his voice husky as he cupped her right breast in his hand. Smiling, he leant his face up against Kim's so that they were looking at each other as he caressed her breast, thumb massaging over her nipple, causing it to harden and make her let out a low groan, her hand moving to his waist, holding him closer to her. But as he stepped back, she glared at him in frustration. "Get ready for the ride of your life..." he said, unbuckling his belt and pulling it out of his jeans in one swoop, tossing it aside and proceeding to unzip his jeans.

Shaking her head, Kim grabbed him by the shoulders and pulled him against her, "I hate a guy who has to talk before sex..." she told him, her tone firm as she instructively made him drop his jeans and boxers down by his ankles. "Now, shut up or I'll tell everyone you're just as bad a lover as Jimmy..." she warned him.

"Hey, no fa..." Carlos began, but soon shut up when Kim single handedly removed her knickers from under her skirt and dropped them down on the ground.

"If you want this to happen, shut up..." she ordered him, pausing as she looked down. "This won't do..." she told him and he frowned when she lifted her eyes to meet his. Not even a split second had past when she tripped him up so that he landed flat on his back on the wet ground, a smile on her face as she lowered herself down on him so that he was inside her now. "Not. One. Word," she warned, straddling him as she thrust back and forth. The same thing over and over. Soft cries of pleasure escaped from her lips, moans from him as his hands gripped her hips, guiding her as her pelvis ground against his. She let out a deep moan, her fingernails digging into his shoulders like claws where she held onto him, their cheeks touching, sweat burning on them as she pulled deeper and deeper still.

Kim let out a cry mixed of pain and pleasure when Carlos rolled her onto her back, her legs wound around him as he thrust deeper into her, their bodies burning. He could feel the pain in his back from her fingernails, digging deeper into him with every cry that escaped her lips, quickly matched by the groans that came from him. "Oh God...Carlos...!" Kim screamed, feeling both their bodies shudder and almost freeze in that single motion when he filled her.

Her eyes drifted shut and she released the grip on Carlos' shoulders. Every part of her was reeling with a mix of emotions as he lowered his body onto hers, as if collapsing from exhaustion, both their breathing deep. "Thank you..." she whispered after a moment, her eyes opening as he lifted his head to look down at her.

"Yeah, you too..." Carlos whispered back, pain reeling through his shoulders as he looked down at her. "What say next time, we don't do this in an alley..."

She blinked, "Next time?" she asked, running the tips of her fingers along his shoulders, then down his arms, caressing his biceps.

"Yeah..." he said back, a serious look on his face.

She pushed him off her, immediately standing up and lowering her skirt, before holding her blouse shut to cover her chest as he pulled up his boxers and jeans, busy buckling them as she brushed the hair out of her face. "There won't be a next time..." she told him flatly, about to step away when he took hold of her, his hands on her shoulders. "Don't Carlos..." she warned, pushing his hands off her before turning away from him, headed down the alley.

"Kim!" Carlos shouted after her, but she kept on walking. She didn't turn back even as he called out to her again. He cursed aloud, running his hand through his hair.

* * *

Meanwhile

"Thanks...for walking me home," Faith said quietly, taking two steps away from where Bosco had stopped in front of her apartment building. She turned around, facing him. Her arms were wrapped around her, a solemn look on her face that was matched by the one that he wore. "I really appreciate it," she added, feeling a shiver go up through her spine in thought of going home to her apartment. Home to Fred.

Bosco smiled back at her, "My pleasure," he said, putting his hands deep into his jeans pocket, having left his and Faith's jackets in his car on their way to the bar. "I'll ah, drop your jacket off before my shift tomorrow."

"Thanks," she replied, nodding. "Well, I guess this is it..." she said, not sure really what else to say.

He nodded, taking his right hand out of his pocket then pointed with his thumb to the footpath behind them. "I guess, I better get going..."

In both their minds they were really moving, going in their separate directions, but they weren't moving. They stood there without a word said between them until Bosco stepped up to Faith and cupped her cheek in his hand. "What would you do...if I told you I was falling in love with you?" he quietly asked, searching her eyes.

Faith silently looked back at him, willing herself not to shed the tears she could feel coming up. "Are you?" she asked back, her voice very soft, barely audible.

Another silent moment.

"What if I told you...I already have..." he whispered, swallowing. "That I have been, for a long time now?"

More silence, this time the tears Faith had been trying so hard not to shed formed in the corners of her eyes. "You have to go..." she whispered, her voice straining as she saw the pained look in his face. "We can't make it any harder than it already is..."

"Why does it have to be hard, Faith?"

"Because I'm married..." she told him flatly, feeling a sob coming up as her chest heaved and as the tears rolled down her cheeks. "That's why...I have to go..." she told him, her heart aching as she turned and headed for the front steps to her building.

Bosco went after her, turning her around to face him the moment she reached the top of the steps. They stood in front of each other, their eyes were locked for a long moment when he leant forward and captured her lips with his.

The kiss was deep, and soon ended when Faith pulled away, lower lip quivering as she looked back at him. "Please, Boz... we can't..." she pleaded with him when he touched her face with his warm hand, her body shivering from the sudden coldness she was feeling. Coldness that came with guilt.

He pulled her closer to him, his hand very soothingly and softly rubbing her back as he tried to warm her. "Call me Maurice, Faith...please..."

"No."

"Why won't you?" he asked, searching her eyes.

"Because...if I do...it changes everything..."

"Then let it..." he told her, his voice a mere whisper as he leaned his face closer to hers.

She tried to tell him no, her lips opened to sound the words, but nothing came. She could feel herself willing herself to push him away when his lips lightly brushed against hers and she felt her eyes drifting shut, returning the embrace. She could feel a relaxing feeling coming over her, the desire to wrap her arms around his neck like she had done in the shower yesterday, but the kiss was so gentle, warm. She was paralyzed by the tantalizing way he was kissing her, the way she found herself kissing him back.

It had to end though, it was so wrong, she told herself, feeling his hands crawling across her stomach. She let out a soft moan, her eyes staying shut as he released his lips from hers and started kissing against her neck. His hand slowly moving, gently caressing her breast, and that's when her eyes suddenly opened and she found herself lying flat on her back, her world spinning as she tried to figure out what was going on. The kisses against her neck continued and suddenly all feelings and senses came back to her, along with the sudden need to throw up. "Stop..." she whispered, her voice filled with tears as she tried to move, every part of her body heaving, "Fred, please...just stop..." she cried, cringing as he placed a kiss on her collarbone before lifting his head to look down at her.

"Come on, we haven't made love in ages..." he whispered back, ignoring the look on her face as he ran his hand down the front of her silk nightie. He stopped at her thigh for a moment before he began to run his hand up along her bare skin.

"Just stop, please," Faith begged, this time really crying as she pushed his hand away to stop him. She could see the hurt in his eyes but she didn't apologize, every part of her wanting him to just leave her alone as another wave of nausea washed over her. "Get off me..." she cried, pushing him off her as she stumbled out of bed and headed straight for the bathroom.

Faith pulled the door closed behind her as she ran across the hall to the small bathroom, fastening the lock so that Fred couldn't come in behind her if he tried. The first thing she did was rush over to the toilet and throw up, not once, but three times. Finished, she flushed the toilet then walked over to the basin and turned on the cold water tap, staring at her reflection in the mirror for a long moment. Letting out a breath, she flicked on the light just above the basin and automatically winced from the pain that shot through her eyes. She splashed a handful of the cool water on her face before turning the tap off and looking in the mirror once more, just watching as the water trickled down her face to her chin, before falling into the basin where she now had her hands firmly gripping the edge.

She stood there, trying to find in her mind the part that told her what was real and what was a dream. Specifically, the events of tonight. She could barely remember coming up the steps back into her apartment, let alone climbing into bed next to Fred. The feeling of his lips against her neck came over her and she involuntarily cringed, knowing she shouldn't have, but for some reason did. It's just the alcohol, she told herself, nodding, as though agreeing with herself.

'What would you do...if I told you I was falling in love with you?'

'Are you?'

'What if I told you...I already have...that I have been, for a long time now?'

Bosco's words echoed in her mind and she stared deeply at her reflection, remembering clearly as she told him he had to leave, then as he kissed her. That human instinct coming over her, she gently touched her lips with the tips of her fingers, remembering the way he'd kissed her. Her eyes closed and she felt a sob coming up, had it been a dream? Had she dreamt him walking her home, what he'd told her...the kiss?

'You deserve so much more than him, Faith...you always have, I just wish I'd told you all the times when he screwed up, but I didn't...I was thinking of your kids, knowing what it was like to live in a broken family...'

It hadn't been a dream, not all of it at least. She remembered now, everything. He'd told her that after he kissed her up on the steps, told her how she could do better. But Fred was her husband, her boyfriend since high school. She couldn't end what they had, not when they had two beautiful children together. If she swayed away from that, she'd lose it all. Lose Fred. Lose the kids.

'You're afraid to lose the comfort, Faith,' she told herself, shaking her head. This couldn't be happening to her, didn't want it to be. Her eyes welled up with tears and she just hoped that she wouldn't remember any of this when she woke up, the only remnants of the night past faded away in a hangover. Never to be talked about or thought of ever again.