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"BLITZBALLERS"
-Fanfiction by RAVEgirl [RAVEgirl_669@hotmail.com]
-Final Fantasy X, blitzball, and all characters are (c) Squaresoft
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~Ch. 4: NO SUCH THING AS AN L-WORD
{On the boat to Luca}
Wakka: What's our goal?
Aurochs (except Tidus): TO DO OUR BEST!!!
Wakka: That's right, ya? Doing your best is all that matters. Now everybody turn to the Auroch next to you and give them a hug.
(All the Aurochs hug each other)
(Wakka hugs Tidus so tightly that he lifts him off the ground)
Tidus: Uh-h . . . . aw, jeez.
Wakka: Now, let's sing the Blitzball Theme Song that I wrote. (takes out harmonica and blows on it)
Aurochs: (singing boredly) Blitzball . . . . anyone can do it if you give it a try. Give it a try.
Wakka: (claps loudly) Now sing the next verse.
Tidus: NO!!! (covers his ears)
(Everybody gasps and looks at Tidus)
Wakka: Listen brudda, you gotta problem with the song I wrote?
Tidus: No, it's just that when you play blitzball, it's not about being nice and friendly. You can't win if you're being nice. It's like, "Oh, hello other team. You would like the ball wouldn't you? Here you go."
Wakka: Ahh, so you heard of my "Good Neighbor" play.
Tidus: Um, I'm sure that's nice and all, but I have a better strategy. It's called PLAY TO WIN.
Letty: (another player) W-win?
Tidus: YEAH!! Do you guys want the trophy this year, or do you wanna go home losers?
Aurochs: Ahhhh!! (scream at hearing "loser")
Wakka: (lecturing) Brudda, you don't use the "L-word" in blitzball. Even if you . . . . "don't score as much as the other team", you still get a prize for trying.
Aurochs: YEAH!
Wakka: Look at this prize I got at last year's tournament. (points to a shiny, heart-shaped sticker on his blitzball uniform that says "YEVON LOVES YOU")
Tidus: (shudder) Well, where I come from, Zanar -- I mean, where I come from, we always aim for the big prize. At this year's tournament, we're gonna win!
Wakka: Woah! (holds his head in his hands)
Tidus: So what do you think?
Wakka: (swallow) I need some time to adjust . . . .
{Up in the mast of the boat}
Botta: (looking down upon them) Are they done singing Wakka's "Blitzball Theme Song" yet?
Keepa: I think so.
Botta: Good. (takes knife out of pocket and starts sawing at a piece of rigging)
Keepa: (GASP!) You're not supposed to do that!
Botta: Well, duh, chubby. I have this all calculated. When I cut this rope, it will snap, and the metal pulley will shoot down and go through Wakka's skull.
Keepa: Uhh, I better tell Cap'n Wakka!
Botta: (puts a croissant in Keepa's mouth with one hand while sawing with the other)
Keepa: Mmmmmph.
{Down below}
Wakka: Hey, where's Botta?
Tidus: Who?
Wakka: The guy with the broken nose. I wanted him to hear what you said, about this "winning". Oh well.
Tidus: Hey, Wakka. I think that Botta guy's plotting against you.
Wakka: You think so, ya? That's ridiculous.
{Up in the mast}
Botta: Damn. This is taking too long. (still hacking)
Keepa: (munch, munch) Hey, look.
Botta: What?
(Botta and Keepa look up and see a big dark object in the ocean ahead of them)
(Botta drops his knife and Keepa drops his food)
Keepa: Oh no, this is bad, ya?
Botta: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARGGGGGHHHHHHH -- !!!! It's SIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIINNNNNNNNNNNNNN.
(Sin being the undefeatable monster that goes around killing everything in its path)
(Everyone on the boat screams)
Tidus: Hey, it's that thing.
(Sin took Tidus from his home in Zanarkand and brought him 1,000 years into the future to Besaid, which is why he recognizes it)
(Botta and Keepa fall out of the mast when Sin collides with the boat)
Wakka: EVERYBODY HIT THE DECK!!!!!!!
Botta: Unh ow ow ow ow. (he hits the deck and bounces about four times)
Keepa: AHHHHHHHHHHHH(crash, splinter)hhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh . . . . (he hits the deck and falls through it) -- UNH!!! awww . . . .
(The rest of the Aurochs, crew, and passengers flatten onto the deck, covering their heads)
Yuna: Oh-h . . . .
Wakka: PROTECT YUNA!!!!
(Kimahri acts as Yuna's bodyguard)
(Lulu and Wakka stand in front of them in fighting stance)
Wakka: Let's take this thing down.
Yuna: No, Wakka! You can't!
Datto: Then let's stall it. (goes to harpoon launcher on deck)
Wakka: Don't do that!!!
Datto: Why n(shoots harpoon into Sin)ot?
Wakka: Augh!
(The boat is now anchored into Sin and Sin pulls the boat after it like a tugboat)
Everyone on the boat: AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!
(Sin pulls the boat the other way)
Everyone on the boat: AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!
(Tidus jumps up brandishing Brotherhood)
Tidus: I wanna fight too -- AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!
(Sin pulls the boat again)
Lulu: (takes out magical stuffed Mog doll)
Tidus: Hey, that's cute. Can I play with it later?
Lulu: (shoves Tidus out of the way)
Tidus: Haven't you ever heard of sharing.
Lulu: (casts Blizzard spell at Sin)
Wakka: BUYA!!!!! (throws blitzball at Sin very hard)
(thunk!!)
(The ball boomerang'ed back into Wakka's hands)
Tidus: Let me try! (starts slashing around with Brotherhood wildly)
(Everybody nearby slowly gives him a wide berth)
Wakka: No, brudda. You're a "newbie". Stand back.
(Wakka and Lulu continue to barrage Sin with attacks)
(Sin eats Wakka's blitzball)
Wakka: Damn it! I payed 9750 gil for that. How are we gonna play in the tournament now?
Tidus: My turn!!!!! (leans over the railing of the boat and tries whacking Sin with his sword)
Wakka: Hey, uh, careful --
Tidus: Just a little bit . . . nnnnGAHH . . . closer -- AHHHHHHHHHHHHhhhh -- !!
(splash)
(Tidus fell overboard)
Wakka: Sigh.
(Wakka jumps overboard to save Tidus)
(They come back up onto the boat)
Tidus: Thanks, Wakka.
Wakka: Ugh, just don't do that anymore. Do you want Sin to get you?!
Tidus: Well, it, um --
(The harpoon launcher on the boat breaks off and releases Sin from the boat)
(Sin swims away)
Lulu: Oh, thank God. (Their god being "Yevon")
Datto: Uh-oh he broke loose! (runs to the harpoon launcher on the other side of the ship)
Aurochs: NOOOOOOO! (all the Aurochs jump on top of Datto)
Wakka: (shaking with rage) Th-that . . . bastard . . . . S-Sin . . . . !!
Tidus: (shaking with hypothermia) Hey . . . . why are you so pissed?
Wakka: (lying) Because -- Sin -- he -- TOOK MY BLITZBALL, YA?!
Tidus: Hmm, right.
Botta: (stands up and punches his fist in the air) YEAH! We kicked Sin in the ass.
Wakka: What are you talking about! You were unconscious the whole time. You didn't do a damn thing!!!
(Wakka and Botta glare at each other)
Lulu: (runs up to Yuna) Are you OK?
Yuna: (really quickly) Yes. I'm . . . not hurt.
Lulu: Good.
(They hug)
Botta: I'm hurt!
Lulu: Tsk. (rolls eyes)
Botta: Was that a sympathetic "tsk"?
(Everyone chooses to ignore Botta)
Lulu: (to Wakka) There's no point in doing that.
(Wakka is repeatedly hitting his fist into the wall)
Wakka: AAAAAAAAAAHHHH!!! RRRRGGGHH!!!
Lulu: Nobody got hurt in the attack.
Botta: *I* got hurt. (points to a small bruise on his arm)
Wakka: So nobody got hurt. FOR NOW. Sin is just going to keep going until he hits another village. Then he'll destroy it. AAAAAH. Damn it.
Botta: Why does everyone think Sin is a male?
Lulu: The best we can do is to guard Yuna on her pilgrimage to defeat Sin.
Wakka: Rrrrr, I know that . . . . but . . . . (sigh)
Keepa: (from below decks) Can somebody help me?
Wakka: Even if she defeats Sin he'll still come back in 10 years. All the stuff we gotta sacrifice -- it's not worth it!!!!! RRRRRRRRAAARGH.
(Lulu stops Wakka from busting his knuckles open by blocking his punch with her hand!!)
Lulu: The more you think about something, the less action you take. Now let's go inside. It's cold out.
(After Lulu and Wakka head inside, the rigging snaps and the metal pulley goes flying into the deck right where Wakka was formerly standing and cuts a jagged path through the floorboards)
Botta: Gah, damn it!
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"BLITZBALLERS"
-Fanfiction by RAVEgirl [RAVEgirl_669@hotmail.com]
-Final Fantasy X, blitzball, and all characters are (c) Squaresoft
=*=*=*=*=*=*=
~Ch. 4: NO SUCH THING AS AN L-WORD
{On the boat to Luca}
Wakka: What's our goal?
Aurochs (except Tidus): TO DO OUR BEST!!!
Wakka: That's right, ya? Doing your best is all that matters. Now everybody turn to the Auroch next to you and give them a hug.
(All the Aurochs hug each other)
(Wakka hugs Tidus so tightly that he lifts him off the ground)
Tidus: Uh-h . . . . aw, jeez.
Wakka: Now, let's sing the Blitzball Theme Song that I wrote. (takes out harmonica and blows on it)
Aurochs: (singing boredly) Blitzball . . . . anyone can do it if you give it a try. Give it a try.
Wakka: (claps loudly) Now sing the next verse.
Tidus: NO!!! (covers his ears)
(Everybody gasps and looks at Tidus)
Wakka: Listen brudda, you gotta problem with the song I wrote?
Tidus: No, it's just that when you play blitzball, it's not about being nice and friendly. You can't win if you're being nice. It's like, "Oh, hello other team. You would like the ball wouldn't you? Here you go."
Wakka: Ahh, so you heard of my "Good Neighbor" play.
Tidus: Um, I'm sure that's nice and all, but I have a better strategy. It's called PLAY TO WIN.
Letty: (another player) W-win?
Tidus: YEAH!! Do you guys want the trophy this year, or do you wanna go home losers?
Aurochs: Ahhhh!! (scream at hearing "loser")
Wakka: (lecturing) Brudda, you don't use the "L-word" in blitzball. Even if you . . . . "don't score as much as the other team", you still get a prize for trying.
Aurochs: YEAH!
Wakka: Look at this prize I got at last year's tournament. (points to a shiny, heart-shaped sticker on his blitzball uniform that says "YEVON LOVES YOU")
Tidus: (shudder) Well, where I come from, Zanar -- I mean, where I come from, we always aim for the big prize. At this year's tournament, we're gonna win!
Wakka: Woah! (holds his head in his hands)
Tidus: So what do you think?
Wakka: (swallow) I need some time to adjust . . . .
{Up in the mast of the boat}
Botta: (looking down upon them) Are they done singing Wakka's "Blitzball Theme Song" yet?
Keepa: I think so.
Botta: Good. (takes knife out of pocket and starts sawing at a piece of rigging)
Keepa: (GASP!) You're not supposed to do that!
Botta: Well, duh, chubby. I have this all calculated. When I cut this rope, it will snap, and the metal pulley will shoot down and go through Wakka's skull.
Keepa: Uhh, I better tell Cap'n Wakka!
Botta: (puts a croissant in Keepa's mouth with one hand while sawing with the other)
Keepa: Mmmmmph.
{Down below}
Wakka: Hey, where's Botta?
Tidus: Who?
Wakka: The guy with the broken nose. I wanted him to hear what you said, about this "winning". Oh well.
Tidus: Hey, Wakka. I think that Botta guy's plotting against you.
Wakka: You think so, ya? That's ridiculous.
{Up in the mast}
Botta: Damn. This is taking too long. (still hacking)
Keepa: (munch, munch) Hey, look.
Botta: What?
(Botta and Keepa look up and see a big dark object in the ocean ahead of them)
(Botta drops his knife and Keepa drops his food)
Keepa: Oh no, this is bad, ya?
Botta: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARGGGGGHHHHHHH -- !!!! It's SIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIINNNNNNNNNNNNNN.
(Sin being the undefeatable monster that goes around killing everything in its path)
(Everyone on the boat screams)
Tidus: Hey, it's that thing.
(Sin took Tidus from his home in Zanarkand and brought him 1,000 years into the future to Besaid, which is why he recognizes it)
(Botta and Keepa fall out of the mast when Sin collides with the boat)
Wakka: EVERYBODY HIT THE DECK!!!!!!!
Botta: Unh ow ow ow ow. (he hits the deck and bounces about four times)
Keepa: AHHHHHHHHHHHH(crash, splinter)hhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh . . . . (he hits the deck and falls through it) -- UNH!!! awww . . . .
(The rest of the Aurochs, crew, and passengers flatten onto the deck, covering their heads)
Yuna: Oh-h . . . .
Wakka: PROTECT YUNA!!!!
(Kimahri acts as Yuna's bodyguard)
(Lulu and Wakka stand in front of them in fighting stance)
Wakka: Let's take this thing down.
Yuna: No, Wakka! You can't!
Datto: Then let's stall it. (goes to harpoon launcher on deck)
Wakka: Don't do that!!!
Datto: Why n(shoots harpoon into Sin)ot?
Wakka: Augh!
(The boat is now anchored into Sin and Sin pulls the boat after it like a tugboat)
Everyone on the boat: AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!
(Sin pulls the boat the other way)
Everyone on the boat: AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!
(Tidus jumps up brandishing Brotherhood)
Tidus: I wanna fight too -- AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!
(Sin pulls the boat again)
Lulu: (takes out magical stuffed Mog doll)
Tidus: Hey, that's cute. Can I play with it later?
Lulu: (shoves Tidus out of the way)
Tidus: Haven't you ever heard of sharing.
Lulu: (casts Blizzard spell at Sin)
Wakka: BUYA!!!!! (throws blitzball at Sin very hard)
(thunk!!)
(The ball boomerang'ed back into Wakka's hands)
Tidus: Let me try! (starts slashing around with Brotherhood wildly)
(Everybody nearby slowly gives him a wide berth)
Wakka: No, brudda. You're a "newbie". Stand back.
(Wakka and Lulu continue to barrage Sin with attacks)
(Sin eats Wakka's blitzball)
Wakka: Damn it! I payed 9750 gil for that. How are we gonna play in the tournament now?
Tidus: My turn!!!!! (leans over the railing of the boat and tries whacking Sin with his sword)
Wakka: Hey, uh, careful --
Tidus: Just a little bit . . . nnnnGAHH . . . closer -- AHHHHHHHHHHHHhhhh -- !!
(splash)
(Tidus fell overboard)
Wakka: Sigh.
(Wakka jumps overboard to save Tidus)
(They come back up onto the boat)
Tidus: Thanks, Wakka.
Wakka: Ugh, just don't do that anymore. Do you want Sin to get you?!
Tidus: Well, it, um --
(The harpoon launcher on the boat breaks off and releases Sin from the boat)
(Sin swims away)
Lulu: Oh, thank God. (Their god being "Yevon")
Datto: Uh-oh he broke loose! (runs to the harpoon launcher on the other side of the ship)
Aurochs: NOOOOOOO! (all the Aurochs jump on top of Datto)
Wakka: (shaking with rage) Th-that . . . bastard . . . . S-Sin . . . . !!
Tidus: (shaking with hypothermia) Hey . . . . why are you so pissed?
Wakka: (lying) Because -- Sin -- he -- TOOK MY BLITZBALL, YA?!
Tidus: Hmm, right.
Botta: (stands up and punches his fist in the air) YEAH! We kicked Sin in the ass.
Wakka: What are you talking about! You were unconscious the whole time. You didn't do a damn thing!!!
(Wakka and Botta glare at each other)
Lulu: (runs up to Yuna) Are you OK?
Yuna: (really quickly) Yes. I'm . . . not hurt.
Lulu: Good.
(They hug)
Botta: I'm hurt!
Lulu: Tsk. (rolls eyes)
Botta: Was that a sympathetic "tsk"?
(Everyone chooses to ignore Botta)
Lulu: (to Wakka) There's no point in doing that.
(Wakka is repeatedly hitting his fist into the wall)
Wakka: AAAAAAAAAAHHHH!!! RRRRGGGHH!!!
Lulu: Nobody got hurt in the attack.
Botta: *I* got hurt. (points to a small bruise on his arm)
Wakka: So nobody got hurt. FOR NOW. Sin is just going to keep going until he hits another village. Then he'll destroy it. AAAAAH. Damn it.
Botta: Why does everyone think Sin is a male?
Lulu: The best we can do is to guard Yuna on her pilgrimage to defeat Sin.
Wakka: Rrrrr, I know that . . . . but . . . . (sigh)
Keepa: (from below decks) Can somebody help me?
Wakka: Even if she defeats Sin he'll still come back in 10 years. All the stuff we gotta sacrifice -- it's not worth it!!!!! RRRRRRRRAAARGH.
(Lulu stops Wakka from busting his knuckles open by blocking his punch with her hand!!)
Lulu: The more you think about something, the less action you take. Now let's go inside. It's cold out.
(After Lulu and Wakka head inside, the rigging snaps and the metal pulley goes flying into the deck right where Wakka was formerly standing and cuts a jagged path through the floorboards)
Botta: Gah, damn it!
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